


Hunt Me Down

by Bbaegi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, Chanyeol is the most confused character ever, M/M, Minor Character Death, Smut, Violence, mafia!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:45:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 375,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9347636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bbaegi/pseuds/Bbaegi
Summary: The streets held a lot of opportunities, there were many things you could do, many things you could become, many things that could happen to you. Chanyeol had chosen his own path when he was nothing but a child and he had never strayed away from it, now being a member of one of the most infamous assassin clans of the country and carrying the role of sniper.However, he hadn't foreseen their deals getting called off one by one to be given to a new assassin that no one knew anything about besides his odd name.He hadn't expected a confrontation that would throw his whole world into one big dark cloud of confusion either.





	1. Chapter One

Silence danced loudly around the room, disturbing the tall form that was spread over the couch as the man’s eyelids slowly fluttered open, dark orbs focusing on the equally dark ceiling. It was almost ridiculous how silence had managed to wake him up, Chanyeol thought, letting out a loud groan maybe with the hope of chasing the deafening silence away. He stretched his arms over his head, letting out another sigh before finally sitting up and running his fingers through his messy dark strands.

Silence was basically the one thing he needed in life, he worked in silence, observed in silence, even killed in silence, and yet, it was something that he couldn’t help but dislike even after all the years he had spent climbing up into roofs and observing in silence before pulling the trigger without making any unnecessary sound. He was living in a big city, Seoul wasn’t the most quiet place out there, but his house was as silent as it could get since his apartment was located in a rather quiet neighborhood. The lack of noise was something he usually fought with turning the TV on even when he didn’t feel like watching it, strangers’ overly excited voices was better than the occasional sound of a dog barking in front of the building and oddly more comforting too.

Somehow, Chanyeol always felt like his life wasn’t supposed to be quiet, it was as if silence was something that should have nothing to do with him and he constantly sought noise, particularly voices and as unexpected as it was, he never really had a problem with letting people talk his ear off. It somehow felt nice, like something that should make him happy. However, that wasn’t something he would share with anyone, it would make him the possible target of unnecessarily annoying conversations and he’d rather have those only once in a while.

The TV wasn’t turned on this time, he remembered turning it off before closing his eyes for a short nap and judging by the numbers showing on his phone’s screen, it turned out to be shorter than he had intended it to be. He supposed it wasn’t a problem, he could leave his house earlier than planned, Junmyeon wouldn’t mind opening his door to him earlier. The man might even be happier that way, it looked like he felt lonely nowadays and he always sounded less grumpy whenever any of the members visited him.

Once he deemed himself awake enough, he stood up and headed towards the bathroom, tripping on the low table on his way since he was too lazy to turn the lights off or pull the blinds up to let sun rays guide him. It took only a few minutes for him to get ready, it wasn’t like he needed anything in particular for what he was gonna do tonight, the mission didn’t require him to infiltrate some kind of party so he simply washed his face to erase the sleepiness hanging on his eye bags, grabbed his car keys, phone, and the guitar case that was hiding his sniper riffle before leaving his apartment and heading towards the parking lot.

If there was one thing Chanyeol could complain about when it came to his ‘profession,’ it would be the fact that he constantly had to carry his main weapon in a case, it wasn’t like the usual gun you could hide in a holster beneath your jacket or against your hip, and he wasn’t the kind to constantly leave it in his car so he had to carry it around whenever he had to go to a kill. The guitar case was the least suspicious thing he had been able to come up with and even if it was awfully cliché and way too movie-like for him, he hadn’t been able to come up with something that wouldn’t attract too many gazes to him when he was trying to look for the right emplacement to hide in. 

It didn’t exactly matter anyway, guitar case or not, Chanyeol knew how to use his rifle better than anyone else in this city.

 

 

 

 

"Good morning, Mr. Park," the petite woman greeted him as she opened the door.

"Hello," he replied back, the hint of a smile on his lips as he stepped inside. 

He didn’t remember her name, Junmyeon frequently changed the staff that took care of his house and Chanyeol could honestly not keep up. Not that it mattered anyway. Though, he could understand why he’d frequently change them, too many things were said in this house, there were too many guns hidden, and even if there was no way for the servants to understand them, Junmyeon liked to fire them to make sure that they wouldn’t get too nosy or find out anything that would cost their life. Or maybe he just liked showing his money off, Chanyeol wasn’t sure. Just like he wasn’t sure how Junmyeon even got that much money since as far as he knew, they were only assassins and didn’t get involved on any other underground business. He probably was born filthy rich. 

"Where’s Junmyeon?"

"In his office, with Mr. Kim," she replied, tone way more respectful than Chanyeol was comfortable with.

He thanked her with a nod of his head before heading towards the said office, not needing her to guide him since he had spent enough time in this huge house to confidently say he knew it better than her. 

The walk to Junmyeon’s office took only a short time, his long legs carrying him towards the door as he tugged the strap of his guitar case up over his shoulder before he knocked and walked in when he heard a soft voice reply to him through the dark wood. 

"You’re pretty early, Chanyeol," Junmyeon’s voice greeted him, a smile accompanying it. 

"Oh and you brought your guitar case. Gonna play us some romantic music? I don’t fall for people who play guitar but who don’t have breasts, just saying," Jongdae commented smugly from his seat right across Junmyeon’s desk.

Chanyeol was way too used to this kind of remark after suffering for years and the only shift in his expression was a sudden curtain of exasperation falling upon his handsome features.

"Jongdae, for the thousandth time, there is no guitar in this damn case. How would I make music with a sniper riffle?" he deadpanned as he stepped closer to plop down on the comfortable seat across from Jongdae’s.

"Well, you can make music with it. Shoot someone in a crowd and you’ll get a wonderful symphony of horrified screams," the shorter replied with a casualty that was oddly misplaced and fitting at the same time. 

"You’re the only one who’s fucked up enough to think that way. Personally, it simply hurts my ears," Junmyeon snorted.

"Well, it sure is not the same as when you set someone on fire and watch them run around while their voice gradually dies down," Jongdae shrugged, a wicked grin tugging the corners of his lips up.

"You’re a psycho," Chanyeol sighed, a sound carrying both amusement and exasperation.

"A hot one, at least."

"When are we leaving?" Chanyeol turned to Junmyeon, ignoring Jongdae and his usual nonsensical chatter.

"We’re not leaving," was the reply Junmyeon gave him, his words instantly pulling Chanyeol’s brows into a confused arch.

"What do you mean we’re not leaving?" 

"The request got canceled," the elder replied, discontent staining his features.

"Again?" Chanyeol asked with a sigh, leaning back against his seat as he felt irritation slowly seep into his mind.

This was unfortunately not the first time someone would give them the job, letting them track the target and even set the time they would eradicate it, only to cancel the whole request only hours prior to the kill. It was happening way too often for it to be a simple coincidence and oddly, it was always happening to Chanyeol’s jobs. Jongdae didn’t experience that, Minseok didn’t either, and Chanyeol was honestly starting to get way past the level of simple irritation.

"Why did they cancel it again? Do they think it’s a fucking game? I don’t have time to waste, boss."

"As if you were doing more than just sleeping in that little dark cavern that you call a house," Jongdae jumped in with a snort accompanying his words. 

Chanyeol simply ignored him, knowing that if he replied, the conversation would get way too long and he didn’t feel like suffering from a headache. He simply turned to Junmyeon, giving him a pointed look as he waited for explanations.

"The usual. They gave the job to someone else," the man replied with a sigh, looking at Chanyeol apologetically. 

"You’re saying they gave my kill to someone else? Why would they give it to someone who’s obviously not as good as me?" he spat out, once again ignoring Jongdae’s snort.

"Who said he wasn’t as good as you?" came a voice from behind and Chanyeol’s piercing gaze turned towards its source, falling on Jongin who was closing the door behind him before advancing towards them.

"What do you mean?" Junmyeon asked, his voice immediately changing as an almost business-like tone took over it. He obviously was done watching everyone’s childish antics and wanted real information.

"I did some research, asked around, went to many places, and spent long hours behind my computer’s screen," he started and Chanyeol knew that he was making a point of showing Junmyeon how hard he had worked for this, probably with a hidden motive. Chanyeol remembered him talking about wanting Junmyeon to let him borrow one of his expensive cars, which was stupid since everyone knew Jongin could very well buy a car just as expensive if he wanted to.

Jongin was probably the most important member of their group, he was the one who collected all the information they needed, whether it be by hacking into important and hidden files or other things Chanyeol couldn’t understand, or paying a visit to clients, clubs, or allies. His charming smile somehow always managed to make anyone talk and even if Chanyeol had always thought that pointing a gun to someone’s temple would work just as fine, he couldn’t say that the man didn’t help them a lot. 

"Did you at least get useful information?" Junmyeon dismissed him with an appreciative nod of his head and Chanyeol wasn’t even surprised when his ears caught a snicker coming from Jongdae.

"Of course I did, boss," Jongin mumbled, visibly upset that he wouldn’t get any kind of praise from Junmyeon. "The guy who keeps stealing Chanyeol’s jobs is actually pretty infamous right now. In an odd way, everyone knows about him and yet no one actually knows anything about him."

"Get to the point, Jongin," Chanyeol groaned, not in the mood to be patient enough. 

"Chill, jeez," Jongin threw him a look before moving to settle on the armrest of the seat Jongdae was stretched on, taking his sweet time and only pushing Chanyeol into a darker cloud of irritation. "The one thing everyone knows is that the name he goes by is Light."

"Light? What the hell," Jongdae snorted, a small fit of mocking laughter following afterwards. "Does he think he’s in some cheesy anime or something?"

"I’m not going to accept the fact that someone who carries such a shitty nickname keeps stealing my kills," Chanyeol spat out before noticing that Junmyeon was getting impatient, his fingers drumming on the dark wood of his desk as he silently waited for Jongin to continue.

"Anyway, no one has really seen him anywhere, he apparently gets in contact with people through the phone and somehow convinces them to give the request to him instead. Everyone agrees on the fact that hiring him instead of us isn’t a big problem since he apparently is as good as we are," Jongin finished, glancing at Chanyeol.

"As good as us? We’re the best in this city, how can they even compare?" Chanyeol raised a brow.

"That I don’t know. He’s just good and apparently has made a name for himself out there. He gets offers on his own as well, ones that he doesn’t steal from us or anyone else."

"Is that all?" Junmyeon asked, frowning in a sign of dissatisfaction.

"Well, that’s more than most people know," Jongin grumbled.

However, Chanyeol really wasn’t in the mood to watch him sulk. What he had heard was enough to tick him off and that seemed to be exactly what this Light guy wanted to do since he was set on stealing the assassin’s kills. That was confusing and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be flattered that someone paid so much attention to him but he sure as hell was annoyed by it more than anything else.

"Does that name ring a bell?" Junmyeon asked to him, pulling Chanyeol out of his thoughts.

"No. Not at all. I’m not sure why he would target me like that," he frowned, anger and confusion draping over his expression.

"Maybe it’s just some guy who wants to have fun. Maybe he’s bored. Maybe we should find him and entertain him in a better way," Jongdae suggested, the dark glint in his eyes and the wicked curl of his lips showing what he had in mind.

"I’m not sure how we would find him. I didn’t find anything about that," Jongin replied, looking to Junmyeon.

Chanyeol did the same thing, observing the eldest and hoping that he would come up with a solution. "Maybe we should do what Jongdae suggested. Where’s Minseok?" he asked.

"Probably cutting some guy’s fingers one by one, he isn’t back from his mission," Junmyeon replied before humming in thought for a few seconds. "That Light guy took tonight’s kill too, I suppose. Maybe we should do something about it. What do you think, Chanyeol?" he asked calmly and the latter was once again reminded of why each one of them obeyed to his orders.

Chanyeol had been with Junmyeon since he was fourteen years old and he honestly didn’t remember much about his life before the elder had found him beaten up in some dark alley and had saved him before taking him under his wing and teaching him everything that made him Park Chanyeol today. Minseok had always been with Junmyeon too, as far as he remembered, but Jongdae and Jongin had joined them a few years and the latter had instantly been someone Chanyeol could be a child with. They had both not really lived their childhood properly and they could understand each other enough for Jongin to be the closest friend Chanyeol had. 

They all worked well together, they had their flaws and arguments were of course unavoidable but Junmyeon managed to keep them together and bring the best out of them. The best when it came to taking someone’s life, at least.

Either way, Chanyeol knew that Junmyeon wouldn’t let him do anything reckless and the fact he even asked Chanyeol’s opinion, meant he had some kind of green light on this.

"I want to deal with this myself since I’m the target of that guy," he said, determined to fix the small crack on his pride that started appearing after the first time one of his requests was canceled to be given to someone else. "He was hired instead of me tonight, right? The target was supposed to be eradicated while he was coming back from work and if that Light guy is gonna do it instead of me, he might end him right in front of his house like I planned to. I could still go to the place and see if he’s there, find him, and ask him what the hell is his problem."

"You could," Junmyeon replied after a few seconds of thinking before nodding, a victorious smile spreading on Chanyeol’s lips. "Find him and talk it out with him. It’s not that much of a problem though, we’re bound to lose some clients and get new ones." And it was true, Chanyeol knew that but he was far too focused on his pride to think smartly. "Get rid of him if you have to but be careful, he’s good," he continued and Chanyeol exhaled longly, forcing himself not to get into a fit of anger. That guy couldn’t be better than him.

"It’s okay. I’ll just teach him a lesson and make sure that he won’t mess with me again," he shook his head, determined to put an end to this annoying matter tonight, no matter what.

 

 

 

A single glance around was enough for Chanyeol to check whether someone was paying too much attention to him or not and once he was sure that it wasn’t the case, he continued strolling towards his destination, both hands casually shoved into his pockets. He could feel the cold material of his gun against his hip and he had debated whether to take his snipper riffle with him or not but it was easier without a big guitar case hanging on his shoulder. Moreover, he wasn’t here to do kill the target, he was simply going to observe the Light guy do the job that was supposed to be his before hopefully killing him instead. Junmyeon and said that it wasn’t something that important but Chanyeol’s pride had taken a toll and he wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger the guy provoked him even a little bit.

Throwing another glance around, he stepped into a narrow alley that separated two buildings, his feet leading him towards the back of the one that would offer the best spot to be able to see the building in which the target lived. The neighborhood was rather dark and sloppy, the buildings looked like they had been there for more than a few dozens of years and it was obvious that wealthy people weren’t the ones occupying the many apartments they offered. 

He had studied the surroundings not long ago and knew that there was a back door that could be easily opened and once he stood in front of said door, he was only half surprised to find it already unlocked. That was a good sign, it meant that Light was probably already there and Chanyeol’s lips curved into a satisfied smirk at the thought of being able to finally face the person who had ignited a bright flame of anger in the pit of his stomach weeks ago.

He opened the door, stepping in with a last glance over his shoulder to make sure no one was following him, closing the door behind him before letting his long legs carry him towards the stairs. He climbed them quickly, without stopping even if there was quite a number of floors, looking straight forwards with a determined flame dancing in his dark orbs as the mere knowledge that he would finally meet Light pushed him to advance almost eagerly.

By the time he reached the last floor, his breath came out of his mouth in small puffs but that wasn’t something that he minded, he had been trained long years to ignore tiredness and pain, and the only thing he was focused on was his new target. A long flight wasn’t enough to actually tire him out anyway. He pushed the door that led to the roof open, careful as not to make any sound, and stepped outside, gaze trailing around for any sign of life.

At first sight, there was no one, only a few boxes littered on his right sight, the only things that disturbed the grayish floor that extended under his feet. Chanyeol quietly moved forward, grazing the wall to keep himself hidden in case he was seen before being able to see anything. The building wasn’t that big and it didn’t take him more than a few seconds to notice a form crouched down a few feet ahead of him and he immediately stopped in his tracks, hiding behind the wall to quietly observe the man.

The only thing he could see was the man’s back as it was facing him and he observed him carefully, watching the wind pull his dark strands into a small dance around his head from time to time, the tense line of his shoulders, the way he leaned to watch through the scope mount fixed on his sniper riffle. He was obviously of a smaller stature than Chanyeol but the latter wouldn’t be able to say that his posture wasn’t near perfect, he looked confident enough for Chanyeol to know that he had been doing this for a long time, even if that was something he already knew.

Merely a few seconds later, a faint sound reached Chanyeol’s ears and he recognized it as the sound of a shot, silenced by the suppressor that the other assassin had probably fixed on the tip of his weapon. The whole ordeal took only a few seconds and the smaller man didn’t linger for long, immediately standing up to put his riffle in the black case that had been resting on the ground, right next to him. Chanyeol watched, halfway between impressed by how professional the other looked and angry at how easily he had done the job. He didn’t need to see to know that the target had been taken down, his still warm body probably laying down somewhere in his apartment.

This was it. Now that he was done studying the guy, he could finally talk to him and hopefully put an end to this whole annoying situation.

"You’re better than I expected," Chanyeol said, voice loud enough to carry its mocking undertones to the other as he slowly stepped towards him.

"And you took longer than I expected," came the reply that managed to ignite a new flame of irritation in Chanyeol, his features morphing into a frown. However, the words weren’t as annoying as the fact that Light wasn’t even looking at him, he was merely working on putting his gun in its case and it somehow ticked Chanyeol off.

"Were you expecting me?" he asked as he now stood a few steps away from the other, watching him with his arms crossed over his chest. How would he have known that Chanyeol was going to find him? Though, that seemed to be his aim anyway.

"I’ve been expecting to meet you for a long time, Chanyeol," the other replied as he closed the long case before finally standing up and turning to face Chanyeol.

The latter was met with an unexpected face, oddly beautiful features offering themselves to him as his gaze carefully trailed over them. Dark locks were covering the smaller’s forehead, brushing his eyebrows and leading down to droopy eyes that carried a weird glint, something that Chanyeol didn’t linger on as he was too engrossed in the all the other features that the other carried, his small button nose and the mocking curve of his lips. He had expected something to happen, maybe he would have recognized the other, maybe he was someone Chanyeol had already met in the past but it wasn’t the case, the only thing that was in the assassin’s mind at the moment was how annoyingly attractive the other looked.

"How did you know I was going to find you?" he asked after an unnecessarily long silence, once he was able to focus back on his initial irritation.

"Don’t tell me you’re stupid enough not to figure out my aim was to get you to find me," Light replied and Chanyeol inwardly cringed at the appellation. However, he chose to focus on the other’s words, his frown turning confused even as anger lingered on the pull of his eyebrows.

"Alright, kid," he mocked even if he knew the guy couldn’t be that much younger than him, stepping closer to the other and looking down at him to put emphasis on their height difference by towering over him. "I don’t have time to waste with your stupid games and confusing words. What are you? A fan? You wanted to meet me that badly? Why?" he asked, an amused smirk spreading on his lips as he watched the other frown. Good, he wasn’t the only one growing irritated by the second.

"Looks like you felt pretty threatened by me, judging by your slightly childish reaction," he replied, raising a brow as he looked up at Chanyeol, obviously not threatened even as the latter could feel himself boiling with anger.

"Why the hell would I be threatened by someone like you?" he snorted, trailing his gaze over the other almost in disdain even as he lingered on his body for longer than necessary. It was weird. Something felt really weird. "You may be good, but I’m just as good. Actually, i’m probably better than you."

"Sure you are. That’s why you took exactly a month to find me."

"Don’t talk unnecessarily and only reply to my questions," Chanyeol groaned, voice low and threatening. "What do you want from me? Why were you trying to catch my attention so much?"

"Who knows. Maybe I was bored. Don’t you think that could be the only reason?" the other asked and Chanyeol wasn’t blind, he could see the mocking smile decorating his lips, he could also hear the haughty undertones in his voice. This guy was playing with him and Chanyeol didn’t want to be part of such a silly game.

His hand shot up, fingers digging into the other’s jaw as he grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up and stand still. "Reply to my questions," he demanded, leaning down to burry his piercingly dark gaze into the smaller’s, eyes narrowing when the only thing that was returned to him was a glint of amusement. 

"Is this the part where I’m supposed to be beg you to let go of me?" the other inquired and it was driving Chanyeol crazy, the way the other wasn’t even taking any of this seriously.

He didn’t even have the will to stop himself when his hand suddenly slipped down to wrap around the smaller’s neck instead, fingers pressing down on his skin with the intent of cutting his breath off as Chanyeol’s chest heaved up and down with rage. Something that obviously wasn’t mutual as the other’s smirk only widened after the single soft cough that left his lips, one of his hands wrapping around Chanyeol’s wrist.

"I don’t know what your problem is or who you actually are but listen carefully, Light," he said, the name carrying mockery and disdain as it left his lips. "Stop messing with me. Stop stealing my jobs. Stop smiling at me like a fucking psycho and don’t ever let me see you again. I won’t be as kind next time it happens," he warned, the furious flame dancing in his eyes enough to reveal the threat hidden behind his words.

The guy was handsome, sure. He was also rather interesting but right now, he was nothing but a nuisance and Chanyeol wouldn’t hesitate a single second before getting rid of anything that got in his way. 

However, it seemed that the other actually wasn’t as easy and pliant as he had been until now.

"Are you done?" he asked, voice strained as a result of the pressure around his neck and Chanyeol was once again left confused.

That is, until the other finally moved.

In a split second, he felt a blinding pain spread over his abdomen, the collision between his stomach and the other’s knee throwing him off guard as it was completely unexpected since the other hadn’t shown any sign of aggression other than what his words held. However, Chanyeol should have expected it. The guy couldn’t be simply good at shooting people and he cursed himself inwardly as another hit struck his leg before he could even react, throwing him back and forcing him to let go of the smaller’s neck.

"What? You’re gonna let a ‘kid’ hit you? That’s disappointing, Chanyeol," the other mocked him as he brought one of his hand to rub at his neck, faint marks in the form of Chanyeol’s fingers lingering on his skin.

The taller simply snorted in disbelief, anger licking up along his skin like flames that grew deadlier with each passing second. The only way to tame them would be to get rid of their source.

Without wasting another second, Chanyeol charged forward, his fist colliding harshly with the smaller’s cheek before Light could duck down and avoid it, staggering back instead even as a chuckle left his lips. Chanyeol then brought his other fist up with the intent of punching the other side of his face but the smaller managed to block it with his arm a split second before he brought his own hand up to punch Chanyeol who felt his lip bust under the collision but quickly riposted with a kick that forced the other to step back with a groan of pain.

Letting out a groan of irritation of his own, Chanyeol charged forward again as his hand grabbed the gun that had been resting against his hip until now before he pointed it at the other, chest heaving up and down as he spat out the blood that had gathered in his mouth after the punch he had received on the ground. The guy was good and it only made Chanyeol want to get rid of him more.

"You’re not smiling like an idiot now, are you?" he mocked the other, stepping closer to Light who was standing still and carefully observing Chanyeol. The only movement in him was the way his lips slowly curved into yet another mocking smirk and Chanyeol wanted to rip it off his face.

"You’re resorting to using a gun since you can’t defeat me with bare hands?" the smaller simply asked back, as if Chanyeol couldn’t spill his brains out any second. "Looks like we’re at the same level now," he then continued, voice lower than for his first sentence.

It left Chanyeol confused and frowning as he couldn’t get what the other was implying. What did he mean by ‘now’? Had they met before? Wasn’t this their first encounter? Had they already been in this kind of situation before? However, before he could even ask those questions out loud, the other took advantage of his sudden confusion to bring his leg up, his ankle colliding with Chanyeol’s wrist and forcing him to drop his gun on the ground with a hiss of pain that only doubled when the other turned around to bring his leg up once again, the sole of his booted feet striking Chanyeol’s shoulder. The latter staggered back, the kick bringing him down on the ground as pain shot up through his shoulder. However, he couldn’t give up and he took advantage of his position on the floor to quickly slide his leg over the ground, hitting the other’s ankles and stealing his balance away to make him crumble down as well.

Ignoring the pain, Chanyeol moved to straddle him before he could get back up or away from him and he locked his thighs on each side of the other’s hips, rendering him unable to escape Chanyeol’s punches as they fell down on his face one after the other while the smaller didn’t even try protecting himself.

However, Chanyeol wasn’t even able to destroy the other’s pretty face as much as he wanted for pain pierced through his abdomen at once and he felt his insides rip apart, air suddenly unable to fill his lungs with the shock that the unexpected attack had brought to him. He looked down, gaze falling on the dagger’s blade as it disappeared inside of him, long fingers wrapped around its handle. He followed the hand holding it, gaze trailing over the other’s arm and his shoulder to finally land on his face as a grunt of pain escaped him. The other’s face didn’t hold any kind of smile for the first time since Chanyeol exchanged his first sentence with him, on the contrary, his jaw was clenched, features pulled into a hardened expression as his dark gaze bore into Chanyeol’s.

The blade wasn’t deep enough for Chanyeol to think he wouldn’t survive and it wasn’t the first time he had been stabbed but the pain was still traveling through his veins and it only worsened when Light pushed him away and he fell on his back, another groan escaping him.

"You deserved this, Chanyeol," the wounded man heard and he angled his neck to be able to look at the other and somehow, he wasn’t sure whether the smaller was talking about their fight or something else.

He moved to sit up with difficulty, dragging his body back until he could rest his back against the wall, glare fixated on the other’s face as he watched him stand up and dust his clothes. Bruises were already forming on the other’s appealing face and it was almost regretful to waste such a beauty but Chanyeol wasn’t in any position to do something other than hate him.

"Who… the fuck are you?" he mumbled, pain seeping into his voice and overshadowing the hints of hatred.

The only reply he got was a weak snort and the usual mocking smile was back on the other’s face as he slowly stepped closer to Chanyeol who could feel as much as he could see his gaze traveling over his body. His hand rested around the wound, blood staining his clothes and skin as he looked up at the man who just stabbed him. The latter silently crouched down in front of Chanyeol, observing him.

It could have been easy to wrap his hand around his neck again or even take the dagger out of his body to stab the other with it instead, it wasn’t something Chanyeol had never done before. However, as Light’s gaze drowned itself in his, the same weird glint shining in his eyes, Chanyeol couldn’t even pronounce another word, unable to do more than return the dark stare he was given.

However, it seemed that he wasn’t done being surprised by the other and the next thing he saw was the dark haired man slowly lean closer to him, the smirk slipping off his face again as his gaze traveled down to rest somewhere on the bottom of Chanyeol’s face. The latter was left to stay still, a soft hiss escaping him when he felt the other’s lips press against his in a gentle motion that still couldn’t keep him from feeling pain at the brush on his busted bottom lip.

He almost couldn’t feel anything, the kiss was as delicate and weak as a butterfly, but it made something weird stir in his stomach, his body reacting to it as if it was the only natural thing to do. The man’s lips were soft but they were gone in a split second and Chanyeol looked at him, surprised once again by the mystery that the man in front of him turned out to be.

"And this is what I deserve," he whispered softly, the wind almost stealing those words away from Chanyeol’s ears. 

It didn’t make sense. Nothing about this man made any sense and Chanyeol was only sinking deeper into a dark sea of confusion each time he opened his mouth. This was too twisted even for him and yet, blood loss and confusion made him unable to even focus on the whole situation. He wasn’t even able to comprehend why this stranger would stab him only to kiss him afterwards.

"What…" Chanyeol could only let out as the other stood up again and looked at him a last time before turning around. "Wait!" he called out, grunting in pain when the sudden movement caused another wave of pain to spread through him, a string of curses following out of his mouth afterwards, every single one of them directed at the man who was now walking away from him.

He watched as the other grabbed the black case that was resting on the floor before stepping towards the door that would lead him towards the flight of stairs and out of the building.

"See you, Chanyeol," he said as he threw a last glance at the wounded man over his shoulder before finally disappearing out of sight.

The only thing Chanyeol was left with was a puddle of blood and a dark cloud of confusion, pain, and anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already have a few chapter written so the next one should be up tomorrow or in two days!


	2. Chapter Two

"Are you gonna tell me what happened or not? You at least owe me that much after staining my car with your blood, dude," were the words that reached Chanyeol’s ears as he was gritting his teeth in pain and doing his best to ignore Jongin’s unnecessary curiosity, the painkillers doing their job but not completely erasing the fire on his wound.

Though, he supposed that the other was right in questioning him ever since he had first picked him up from that building’s roof and dragged him as discreetly as possible towards his car. It hadn’t been difficult to reach for his phone as it had been in his pocket for the whole duration of the little ‘talk’ he had with the guy who was responsible of the painful wound he was sporting on his abdomen. Calling Jongin had also been a natural thing to do as that’s what they did, if any of them got injured during a kill, or for any other reason, they were to call one of the other clan members for help and Chanyeol most of the time relied on Jongin who was the closest to him.

The young man had of course come to his help as quickly as possible and despite having the decency not to ask anything while Chanyeol was grunting in pain on his backseat, now that they were in Junmyeon’s house, the place that somehow served as the clan’s headquarters, Jongin didn’t hold his questions in anymore and after hearing the same question close to fifteen times already, Chanyeol was starting to lose his temper.

"You could at least wait until I’m done bandaging him, Jongin," the man who was leaning over him replied, handsome features pulled into a focused expression as he gently cleaned Chanyeol’s wound with a cotton pad, making sure that the newly-done stitches would be enough to close the assassin’s wound properly. His movements were fast, confident, and almost seemed nonchalant. It hadn’t been the first time the doctor had to patch up one of them after all. He had been working with Junmyeon for many years and was always the one the leader called whenever one of them had gotten hurt. He was a trustful and efficient partner who didn’t mind helping as long as he didn’t directly get involved in their work.

"Oh please, Yixing. He’ll survive, he’s been through worse and a tiny little slit on his side won’t kill him," Jongin snorted, mocking Chanyeol who knew he almost deserved it.

Getting hurt during a kill was such a rare occurrence for him, his job had always been a clean cut and quick one, he simply had to aim properly and pull the trigger, there was never any direct contact with the target, no hesitation, no unnecessarily long planning beforehand. They were all rather infamous and had been in danger more than once, he wouldn’t say that he had never been hurt at all after he had chosen to take this path in his life but no one had ever dared stabbing him.

What made him so furious was probably the fact that he wasn’t even supposed to kill anyone at that time, that Light guy wasn’t even a target or an actual foe. He was only something akin to a rival and definitely a nuisance but Chanyeol hadn’t planned on being the one who’d get out of their meeting wounded. He hadn't expected to be kissed by the man right after getting stabbed either.

His jaw clenched at the memory and he dragged his mind out of his thoughts, focusing back on Yixing as he was wrapping the gauze around his waist a last time, securing it and making sure the bandage wouldn’t untie. Once he was done, he offered Chanyeol a gentle smile, accompanied by a light pat on his shoulder.

"All done. You should be okay, it wasn’t deep and you didn’t lose too much blood either so you should be okay as long as you don’t move around to much and get some rest instead." He frowned a bit when Chanyeol parted his lips to protest, silencing him with his own words. "No, Chanyeol. You might be a really good assassin but you’re not immortal or unbreakable."

"Of course not. He got stabbed by a guy who stole his name from a lame manga character. How did that happen, Chanyeol? Did you get blinded by the light?"

Boisterous laughter followed those mocking words and Chanyeol didn’t even have to look at the door to know that Jongdae was the one who had just entered the room.

"I think your humor only gets lamer as days pass, Jongdae," he simply mumbled, throwing the other an annoyed glare before his gaze moved to Jongin who joined in the laughter and Yixing who was biting his lip hard to conceal a smile.

"You’re the one whose sense of humor sucks. Everyone else is laughing at that amazing pun," Jongdae replied with a huff.

"I fucking got stabbed. How is that funny?" he asked, his piercing gaze slicing through Jongin who stopped laughing right away even if the hint of an amused smile lingered on his lips.

"Well, probably because I can’t help but imagine Light as a tiny manga fan who kicked your sorry ass easily," he shrugged, ignoring the way Chanyeol groaned at his mocking words.

"Well, either way, he either doesn’t know how to properly stab someone or on the contrary, is really good at it. The blade didn’t slice through any of your vital organs and the wound wasn’t deep. Since Jongin said earlier that he was the best assassin in town, that probably means he didn’t want to actually kill you but only to give you a warning, I guess," Yixing said, his gentle but professional tone toning down the mockery that had been tainting the air ever since Jongdae had entered the room.

"I am the best assassin in town. Not him," Chanyeol merely mumbled and this time, Jongin was the one who snorted softly.

"Yet he ran away after stabbing you."

"I hope you at least managed to hit him. Didn’t you have a gun? Why didn’t you just shoot him?" Jongdae asked, tone more serious even if the corner of his lips were still pulled upwards, the hint of a mocking smile lingering.

"I couldn’t. He’s not only a good sniper, he knows how to fight with barehands as well," Chanyeol sighed before standing up and grabbing the shirt Yixing was handing to him. He slipped it on slowly, careful as not to pull on his wound too much but still wincing a bit at the small jolt of pain. The shirt was probably one of Junmyeon’s, his own one had been thrown away as it was drenched in too much blood. "But we fought for a while and he stabbed me right when I was destroying his stupid face."

"Well, thats interesting," Jongin hummed, plopping down next to Jongdae on the couch.

"Where’s the boss?" Chanyeol asked as he glanced at Yixing gathering his material up before looking at Jongdae questioningly. "And why are you even here again?"

"What do you mean?" the smaller gave him a affronted look, his featured morphing into a saddened expression, one that Chanyeol knew was fake. "I heard my dear friend got stabbed so I thought I should pay him a visit and see whether he’s alive or not."

"You were only looking for another reason to make fun of Chanyeol," Jongin commented, raising an eyebrow.

"You know me so well."

Chanyeol, who was obviously not in the mood to deal with his friends’ antics, parted his lips to kindly tell them to find another source of entertainment but the door opened again before he could even pronounce a word and he immediately stopped at the sight of Junmyeon. The latter had a rather thick curtain of worry pulled over his features and Chanyeol frowned, knowing that it could turn into disappointment any second.

If there was one thing that the assassin hated, it was failure. Every time he did something wrong, Junmyeon always had the same disappointed expression on his features, sometimes accompanied by anger that would result in him getting long minutes of serious scolding. Chanyeol could deal with the anger but he hated disappointing the man who had done so many things for him. Junmyeon had saved his life after all, even if he had somehow ruined it at the same time, depending on your point of view. At least, he wasn’t dead, the elder had saved him from such a tragic end and Chanyeol could only repay him by being the best at whatever he was doing, even if it involved taking lives everyday. It was the only way he could show his gratitude for Junmyeon who had made him into the person he was today, giving him all the training he needed to become a skilled assassin.

"Are you okay?" the man asked as he stepped closer towards Chanyeol, silence falling over the room as everyone watched him analyze the wounded man as if to make sure he was really alive, in spite of Yixing’s professional care. Junmyeon had always been the kind to worry about his clan members a lot and sometimes it was almost odd, the way he could behave so nicely and almost act like a real brother - since Chanyeol got hit each time he mentioned the fact that he acted like a father - to Chanyeol despite the latter having seen him kill so many people without any mercy.

"Yeah. I’m okay, it’s nothing too bad and Yixing took care of it," he replied with a sigh, watching as the other frowned while looking at the bandages covering his wound.

"Yeah, thank you again, Yixing," Junmyeon said with a nod of head, directing his gaze to the doctor who simply smiled in return before grabbing his bag.

"You’re welcome, you know I’m here for this kind of stuff," he waved the other off before taking a look at his watch and humming softly. "Alright, I have to go now, it’s getting late. You should all be more careful, as much as I like all of you, I don’t appreciate seeing you only to patch you up," he continued with a soft chuckle.

"Well, I wish this kind of things didn’t happen but it comes with the job," Junmyeon sighed, expression hardening again now that he knew Chanyeol was okay and that he had nothing to actually worry about.

"Unfortunately," the doctor sighed before offering all of them and taking his leave, closing the door behind him.

Junmyeon sighed once again, looking at Jongin and Jongdae who had stayed silent ever since the leader of the clan had stepped into the room.

"Are you two okay?"

"Yep, we weren’t with Chanyeol, he went alone," Jongin replied.

"Great. You," Junmyeon said, sharp gaze falling on Chanyeol. "Follow me to my office, we’re going to talk about this issue," he continued and the assassin could only nod obediently before following him out of the door.

"Doesn’t he look like a problematic student who’s about to get scolded by the principal?" Chanyeol heard behind him, Jongdae’s voice carrying hints of concealed laughter to his ears even if he had lowered it to whisper.

He was once again left to wonder why he had to put up with this kind of friends.

 

 

Without hesitating, Chanyeol told everything that happened to Junmyeon once they settled in the man’s office, the elder behind his desk and Chanyeol on the seat right in front of it. The leader had listened to him without cutting him off even once, eyebrows furrowed as he tried understanding every single detail that slipped out of Chanyeol’s mouth. The latter tried not to forget anything, explaining to Junmyeon the way Light seemed to be already waiting for him, the way he knew more about Chanyeol than the latter knew about him, the way he had been almost mocking him for the whole duration of their talk, and the way he had been able to dig his blade into Chanyeol without the latter even suspecting it.

However, he made sure to skip some details such as the kiss that Light had pressed on his lips right after stabbing him and the way some of his words were confusing, as if he had been blaming Chanyeol for something. He wasn’t the kind to hide anything from Junmyeon but this didn’t seem to be that important and, for all he knew, the guy could have used such words simply to mess with his head and get the upper hand. Which unfortunately did happen.

"I see," were Junmyeon’s first words once Chanyeol was done explaining how things had gone with the new assassin who had been messing with them for a while now. "I told you to be careful, didn’t I?" he asked sternly, sharp gaze never leaving the younger’s face.

"I didn’t expect him to be so great, boss," he explained himself even if he knew he should have been more careful. "I thought we were just going to have a small talk, I didn’t plan things to end up with a fight. I didn’t expect to lose the fight either," he mumbled, still ashamed of that fact.

"Jongin told us he was really good, that’s what everyone says when asked about Light and that’s why you shouldn’t have been so careless, Chanyeol. You might be good at what you do but that doesn’t allow you to be so nonchalant about things," the elder scolded him, the expected hint of disappointment flowing in his stern voice.

"I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful next time," he said softly, looking down at his hands as they curled into tight fists on his lap. He hated this. He hated having to be in this situation because of that damn lunatic.

"I hope you will be. It’s already a surprise that you ended up getting stabbed by someone who seems to be new in our field, I can’t help but think that all the training I’ve put you through was a waste."

Silence fell over the room for a few seconds, Chanyeol was way too surprised to hear such words to say anything. Something in his stomach churned, making him momentarily forget about the pain from the wound pulsing in his veins. It was the first time Junmyeon had said such things.

"Though, I suppose you kind of deserved it. It was your own fault for not being careful enough," he continued and Chanyeol could still feel his gaze on him.

"I’m sorry," he could only say, swallowing down the shame and the anger.

"It’s alright. The guy seems to be good and I suppose you’re not the only one who would have ended up like this. At least, now we know what kind of person he is. What did he look like?" the elder asked and Chanyeol took a deep breath. The usual almost business-like tone was back in Junmyeon’s voice, meaning he was done being disappointed with Chanyeol for now.

"He’s small, shorter than me and he didn’t seem to be muscled either. At first sight, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell that he’s the new infamous assassin everyone’s talking about. He looks kind of harmless when he isn’t holding a gun or a dagger," he said, remembering the way he had almost been pulled in by the guy’s beautiful features at first.

"Go on."

"He has kind of droopy eyes and a permanent mocking smile on his lips, I could tell that he was enjoying angering me. He was rather calm and really professional when he shot the target, I was able to watch him do it and I can understand why people say he’s one of the best since his posture alone looked perfect. I’ve never met him before though, that’s for sure," he finished, even if Light’s words had seemed to hint at the contrary. "Does he sound like someone you know?"

"Not at all," Junmyeon replied after a few seconds of thinking, leaning back against his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. "He’s probably just someone new who’s trying to make himself a name out there."

"He’s seemingly succeeding but that doesn’t explain why he’s targeting us like this. Me in particular," he commented, still confused about it. Especially after what Light had said.

"Well, we’re the most successful assassin clan in this city and you’re its best sniper. If he wants to be popular, it makes sense that he’d choose to target you, since he’s mainly a sniper too from what I gathered," the elder replied, his index finger drumming against his arm, a sign that he was thinking hard about this situation.

"What do you think we should do about him?" he asked, the burning desire to avenge himself pushing those words out of his mouth.

"Nothing."

"What?!" Chanyeol couldn’t help but raise his voice a bit in surprise before immediately calming down when he saw the way Junmyeon arched a brow in warning. "I mean, shouldn’t we do something to get back at him? He stabbed me!"

"You deserved it, didn’t you?" the other replied and Chanyeol clenched his jaw, hating those words and the way they managed to silence him. "One of you two was supposed to get hurt or die there anyway, it ended up being you and there’s nothing we can do about it. He, at least, didn’t kill you. It seemed to be a mere warning and I don’t think we need to get in trouble, do we?"

"We don’t," Chanyeol replied through gritted teeth.

"He’s obviously only looking to have some fun and as I already said, what we’re doing is only business. You lose some clients and gain new ones, just like any other business. Our loyal ones keep coming to us anyway and that’s what matters, losing a few useless clients isn’t important," the leader explained in a calm voice, obviously trying to resonate with the assassin.

"I guess you’re right," he replied with a sigh, knowing that he couldn’t oppose to Junmyeon’s words even if he yearned to stab that crazy guy in return and maybe dig a hole in his head as well.

"He doesn’t seem to be the kind to socialize so I don’t think he’d say anything about what happened to anyone, which means your reputation won’t be stained either. Don’t let a random guy mess with you and simply focus on doing your job, Chanyeol. I’m not going to let that guy distract my best assassin," he continued and Chanyeol could simply nod in agreement, the other’s tone not leaving him the option to argue. "He didn’t directly mess with us either, even if getting our clients stolen is slightly irritating. Getting angry over this would be useless and you already failed once so meeting him again is out of the question. He’ll probably stop if you don’t mind him, just focus on doing your job properly, as always."

It somehow seemed unfair to Chanyeol, and rather surprising as well. Shouldn’t they get back at that guy? That seemed to be the natural thing to do and he didn’t understand why Junmyeon wouldn’t let him do it. However, Chanyeol had always followed Junmyeon’s words ever since he had chosen to join Venom, the clan that the elder had founded, and he knew that his decisions would always be lacking compared to Junmyeon’s, he wasn’t the boss for no reason.

"Alright. Yeah, I’ll do my best," he simply said through gritted teeth after taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

"Great. You can leave now. Go home and get enough rest, the others will take on your kills this week, I don’t want you to work until you’re at least a little bit healed," the leader said, voice softening a little bit and finding once again the caring tone he often used on his clan members.

"A week? That’s more than I need," Chanyeol protested, not appreciating the thought of not doing anything for such a long time.

"Chanyeol," the other simply said, the single word enough to warn the assassin.

"Fine. I’ll rest," he said, with more bite than necessary but Junmyeon seemed to understand his feelings since he didn’t reprimand him for using that tone on him and simply watched in silence as the taller got up and headed out of the room, knuckles whitening under the pressure of his clenched fists.

Maybe forgetting everything about Light would be the best thing to do for now.

 

 

 

Closing the door behind him, Chanyeol made sure to lock it properly before dragging himself towards the living room where he let himself fall back on the couch, momentarily forgetting that he was injured until the sudden movement caused a jolt of pain to ignite in the still fresh cut on his abdomen. He let out a soft groan, the sound coming off as a mix of pain and irritation as it only managed to remind him why and how he got that wound after he had managed to clear his head on his way from Junmyeon’s house to his own. He shifted a bit to get into a more comfortable position, this time careful as not to make sudden movements, and leaned his back against the couch before grabbing the remote control that was only a few inches away from his thigh and turning the TV on with the intent to chase the heavy silence away and pour his whole attention to the colorful screen in order not to think too much about the day’s content.

However, after only a minute of changing channels that resulted in his not finding anything that was good enough to distract him, he stopped on a random show and tossed the remote control aside before letting out a sigh and ruffling his hair in frustration. Maybe he should have let Jongin come up after dropping him off in front of the apartment bulding, his friend would have probably been able to distract him but he also had the urge to be alone and just think properly about everything that happened.

Junmyeon’s words still echoed in his head and Chanyeol’s own silent wave of disagreement still washed over his voice. Despite being told to simply forget the guy, Chanyeol just couldn’t get Light’s voice and face out of his head. His mocking words, the teasing tilt of his voice, the condescending smile, how he had felt so fragile when Chanyeol had wrapped his fingers around his neck, and the weird glint in his eyes before he had kissed him. None of it made sense and the mere fact that his actions left a thick blanket of confusion wrapped suffocatingly tight around him was enough to anger Chanyeol. The only way to loosen it would be to get answers to his questions but he wasn’t even sure how he would even be able to get them.

He threw his head back, eyes closing as exhaustion slowly seeped into his body. Light had said his aim was to get Chanyeol to find him. Why would he want to meet Chanyeol? Why would he say they were now ‘at the same level’ while talking about their fighting skills? Had they met before? No matter how much Chanyeol thought about his dangerously attractive features, he couldn’t match them with anyone he had the occasion to encounter in his past. Why had he sounded like he was blaming Chanyeol for something? Did he do anything to Light in the past? He couldn’t remember. Why did he even call himself ‘Light?’ Chanyeol hated the fact that he couldn’t even put an actual name on that annoying face. And most importantly, why had he kissed Chanyeol? That didn’t match any of the shorter’s previous actions at all, especially since it happened right after he had stabbed Chanyeol.

_‘And this is what I deserve.’_

What had he meant by that? It didn’t make sense.

However, it wasn’t as bad as the fact that Chanyeol had allowed everything to happen. He hadn’t been able to predict the dagger, he hadn’t thought the guy would be so skilled. He had not pushed him away when their lips had met, despite knowing that he could have. He had been too surprised to do anything though, it wasn’t really his fault. Or was it?

Tired of all those thoughts clashing in his head and resulting in a rhythmic pounding against his temples, he reached into his pocket, grabbing his phone and hoping to find distraction in the small device. Sleep was out of the question, he wouldn’t be able to properly rest even if his body needed it. However, it seemed that the universe didn’t want him to relax since as he pressed on the small button to light up the screen, it remained black, indicating the lack of battery. He sighed. Maybe this was karma for killing all those people, he always knew it would come back to bite him in the ass at some point.

Groaning, he carefully stood up and walked towards his bedroom instead, leaving the TV on, and started looking around for his phone charger once he stepped into the room. Once he found it, he slowly lied down on his bed, shifting for a comfortable position, and plugged it in, listening to the voices coming from the living room as he waited for the device to come back to life.

Once it did, he checked the notifications that immediately appeared, a missing call from Jongin along with a text that he replied to, a text from Jongdae containing another annoying pun about lights that made him consider blocking his friend’s number before he merely settled on ignoring him. What caught his attention was a text from an unknown number, something that Chanyeol rarely got. He pressed on the screen, opening it and reading over the single word it contained.

_From: Unknown_   
_"Remember."_

Eyebrows furrowed in confusion, the assassin read over the single word a few more times without being able to comprehend it. "What the hell," he mumbled to himself.

It was from an unknown number and it was impossible for anyone to know his number, they were all really careful about it and only personal acquaintances were able to contact him through this phone, even clients had to go through Junmyeon or even Jongin. Why would someone send him such a cryptic text? What was he supposed to remember? He sighed, nothing made any sense today. Maybe it was only a mistake? He’d like to believe that this message wasn’t meant to him, even if he knew it was unlikely after what happened merely a few hours ago.

Who could it have been from? Maybe… Light? Something in him told him that it could be from the guy who had stabbed him only a few hours prior but why would he send Chanyeol something like that? It didn’t make sense. Maybe Chanyeol was simply growing obsessed with the guy, his anger and the shame of having lost the fight was probably fueling his mind into linking everything to the guy. It was probably a meaningless text, sent to him by mistake, and that’s what he’d force himself to believe for now.

However, exhaustion soon became overwhelming and despite all his thoughts coming to life again with that single word, Chanyeol couldn’t stay awake to try finding answers to his own questions. His eyes were growing tired after a few more minutes of staring at the word on his phone’s screen and he couldn’t fight the fall of his eyelids, letting them shut to drown him in a world of darkness. The bed was comfortable under him, Sleep silently stepping closer to him to gently sing a lullaby into his ears to drag him towards a deep but restless slumber that his tired body yearned for.

The memory of beautiful eyes and soft lips haunted him even in his dreams, confusion and anger twirling around him even in an unconscious state.

 

 

 

Days passed, soon turning into a week and then two, and with each step that time took forward, Chanyeol took a step backwards and away from the answers he had been seeking for since the very first day he had met that stranger who oddly seemed to be anything but one. Not being able to protest against Junmyeon’s orders, he had had no choice but to spend a whole week away from the clan and simply rested until his wound was slowly getting better, Yixing’s regular visits to his house helping in the healing process. Both Jongin and Jongdae had kept him company whenever they could for the whole week, Junmyeon calling him at least once a day as well. The only one who had not visited him was Minseok and that wasn’t really surprising, the text that he got was already more than enough for the man who had never been one to express any kind of feelings.

Being a sniper didn’t really involve a lot of movements when you were on a kill, therefore, he was able to return to his usual occupation after exactly a week in spite of his wound not having fully healed yet, taking on requests again and successfully completing each of them without hurting himself even more or worsening his state. He had not heard anything about Light stealing his clients for the whole week and he had not received any weird text either which led him to think that maybe Light was waiting for him to return to the field before starting to mess with him again.

However, once he had started working again, there was still no traces of the new infamous assassin and Chanyeol wasn’t sure why he had been looking around for a whole week each time he went on a kill, a small part of him hoping he’d spot Light somewhere on the roofs he would be standing on. That didn’t happen though and for two whole weeks, Chanyeol had only kept growing even more confused.

Why did he suddenly disappear? After everything he had done to Chanyeol that day, it was a bit unexpected. Was the stabbing really just a warning? Either way, Chanyeol didn’t appreciate not finding answers to his questions, it was only making him go crazy and every single one of his nights was spent trying to decipher the mysteries in the assassin’s words and actions. He never was able to come up with a plausible explanation however and that morning, he had decided not to think about it anymore.

It was not a bad thing if Light had suddenly disappeared. On the contrary, it allowed him to forget about the shame and the anger he had been left with on that roof after the other had walked away from him. Even if he still had the strong desire to get back at him, Chanyeol knew that it might only become another source of problem to him. Instead, he chose to focus on his job, just like Junmyeon had asked him to.

He was once again standing on the roof of a high building, sniper riffle settled right on the edge where he was crouching down as well. One of his eyes were closed, the other one looking through the scope mount fixed on his weapon, as his teeth were nibbling on his lower lip in concentration. He had been waiting up there for almost ten minutes already, gaze never once leaving the entrance of the narrow alley located right in front of the abandoned building. This time, the client was a woman who simply wanted to get back at her husband for cheating on her countless times with one of her own colleagues. She had said that they were supposed to be out on a date tonight and that the woman’s house was located in this neighborhood, they would have to walk through this dark and isolated street and she wanted both of them dead.

The cold night breeze was gently tickling his nape and whistling into his ears but Chanyeol never once lost his focus, his whole body unmoving as he waited for his targets to enter his sightline. He listened to his surroundings as well, registering the soft voices that sometimes reached him and trying to decipher whether he’d hear footsteps behind him or any sound related to any kind of weapon.

However, nothing threatening was heard or seen and it was only a few seconds later that tonight’s victims appeared, his finger immediately tightening on the trigger at the sight. He observed them for a second, making sure that they were alone and that nothing else but the night’s threatening shadows were following them. They were walking close to each other, arms linked together as the man leaned down to whisper something into the blond woman’s ear, resulting in loud laughter to escape her lips.

The wind crashed into the assassin a bit harder, his teeth sinking into the tortured flesh of his lower lip a bit harder as he adjusted his aim properly to make sure that the man, his first victim, wouldn’t get out of this alive. Once he was sure that the kill would be clean and perfect, he pulled the trigger, watching as the bullet dug into the oblivious man’s forehead, sliding perfectly in between his eyebrows as a single trail of blood started dripping down the hole on his head right before his body went limp and dropped on the dirty floor.

The night was quiet as the man lost his life, the silencer concealing the source of the bullet, and before the woman could even finish screaming, Chanyeol aimed properly and watched as a bullet pierced through her forehead, on the same spot he had aimed when shooting the man. The kill was a success, both of them were dead on the spot they were supposed to be and no one had been alarmed.

However, he froze, eyes widening as he watched her limp body fall on top of the man’s.

He hadn’t pulled the trigger a second time yet.


	3. Chapter Three

The night was quiet, Chanyeol’s surprise and confusion resonating loudly as the wind seemed to dance on the melody his emotions created.

 

He wasn’t the one who had shot the blonde woman. His finger was still pressed against the trigger of his sniper rifle but he hadn’t shot her. 

 

Two seconds were enough for realization to dawn upon him and his eyes widened even more at the thought that someone else had done it for him and it should be obvious, only a single person would take pleasure in shooting Chanyeol’s target right in front of his own eyes. 

 

Only Light would do that.

 

Confusion was instantly swept away by anger and Chanyeol straightened his back before looking around, fierce gaze met by emptiness as he searched for a small form concealed in the darkness falling upon the roof of the old building he was standing at. There was no one. He couldn’t see. But Light had to be somewhere around here. He grabbed his sniper riffle, leaning to look into the scope mount before slowly turning the weapon around, observing his surroundings with the precision of a skilled assassin, a predator searching for the prey that would surely not escape from its angry claws this time around. This time, he wouldn’t let it happen. 

 

After going through the roofs of the buildings standing beside the one he was on, he dragged his attention down to the streets, determined not to stop until the target was found. The bodies of the two sinful people were laying on the dirty ground, concealed by the dark blanket night had been kind enough to shroud them with. They had died together, their shared sin taking their lives away and leaving their body slowly growing cold, pressed together as they bathed in a sea of red. The color of the passion that had ended them.

 

Chanyeol didn’t linger on this measly scene however, he had a much more important person to find and a bubble of adrenaline burst in his chest, spreading in his body with each beat of his heart, when he finally located a small form slipping into the streets, leaving the door of the building he was coming out of open as he shoved his hands into the pockets of the jacket he was wearing. A black case was hanging from his shoulder. It was _him._ The man who had haunted Chanyeol’s thoughts after leaving him with two scars, one on his abdomen that was slowly healing, and one on his mind that would not heal until it received proper care. It would only close up and fade away once Chanyeol would get the answers he had been craving for since the very first time his gaze met Light’s wicked one. 

 

At that exact moment, nothing mattered. Not the wound, not his status as the best assassin in Seoul, not Junmyeon’s advice, nor everything he had known until that day. He had only one thing in mind, only one thing he had to hunt down and that was Light and the answers he could provide Chanyeol with. He was pulled into a trance, his body developing its own abilities to decide what the best thing to do was and Chanyeol let his limbs pull him away from the weapon he held dear in his heart. Leaving everything behind, including his sniper rifle, its case, and the control he had over himself, the assassin let his long legs drag him towards the door on his left side, he swung it open, threw himself in the staircase that he descended quickly, emerged in the streets, and ran, as fast as he could, towards the direction he had seen his rival going. Rival? Was Light even a rival anymore? At this point, he was nothing but a mystery that Chanyeol’s mind oddly wanted to solve. 

 

His gaze traveled around in the dark streets, as sharp as arrows that were shot one after the other until their owner was sure that at least one of them would hit the target. And the target was finally found after a few seconds, his long and fast legs leading him to the same small form that was only a few steps ahead of him now. It was odd, how quickly he had been able to catch up to the other and he couldn’t help but wonder if Light had slowed down on purpose to wait for Chanyeol to catch him. Mysteries kept adding up and Chanyeol’s mind was in a frenzy. 

 

However, confusion peeked in again when the smaller assassin looked over his shoulder, his gaze falling into Chanyeol’s even if moonlight was the only thing that brightened the night. The eye contact was kept short though, and by the time Light had fled away from him, Chanyeol was still dazzled by the smirk the former had sent his way, mischief clinging to one corner of his mouth while the other one was occupied by something that oddly seemed to be challenge. And it took Chanyeol not even a full second to understand what the smaller had challenged him about.

 

He was waiting for Chanyeol to chase him.

 

And Chanyeol could have simply grabbed the gun that rested against his hip and shot him, it was dark but he was good enough to make sure the other would be caught by the bullet. Instead, he chose to run after him, as fierce and determined as a starved predator that hunted its pray down.

 

He ran after Light, his heart thundering in his ribcage as his gaze never once left the person he was going after, caging him with his eyes to make sure that this time, he wouldn’t disappear. The other was fast, Chanyeol’s legs were longer but he had never been into jogging or using them for something other than kicking an opponent. That didn’t seem to be his new prey’s case, his legs were short but he was quick and it only confirmed Chanyeol’s earlier thought about his slowing down on purpose to wait for the latter to catch him. That somehow angered him even more, he couldn’t grasp what the other assassin wanted. He wasn’t sure what was at stakes in this odd game but if there was one thing that Chanyeol knew, it was that this time, he wouldn’t be the one left with defeat in his hands. 

 

"Wait!" he called after Light and a voice at the back of his head told him that this was no appropriate behavior for an assassin, especially not for a sniper. He was supposed to be quiet, he was supposed to be a shadow that wrapped around a chosen victims’s neck and silently squeezed before disappearing without any trace. However, at that exact moment, Chanyeol was anything but a quiet shadow. He was an angry and confused feline going after a prey that kept tempting him. If he were to ask himself, his anger and curiosity wouldn’t make sense either but he had no time to waste on those thoughts.

 

As expected, Light didn’t pay any attention to his call and kept running ahead of him, the sound of their hurried footsteps resonating in the otherwise quiet streets. Chanyeol wasn’t sure why his mind created the picture of a wickedly amused smile dancing on the other’s lips but it only made him push harder on his legs, his heavy breathing starting to pound in his ears along his heartbeat. 

 

They soon reached the corner of the street, and Chanyeol let out a groan of rage when immediately after rounding the corner, he could find no sign of Light. Did he go left? Did he disappear into the right side? Chanyeol wasn’t sure and he stood there in distress, hands resting on his hips as his chest heaved up and down, short breath a mix of exhaustion after long minutes of chase and of the pain that started to ignite in his wound, it was almost completely healed but the effort had been a mistake.

 

However, that wasn’t the most important thing right now and he cursed under his breath, gaze traveling around in urgency as the weak streetlights were the only thing helping him look for Light. There was no trace of him. He should have ran faster. Once again, he had lost against him and that was starting to be the worst feeling Chanyeol had ever felt, heightened by the surrounding silence that seemed to judge him.

 

Until it was disturbed by a mocking voice.

 

"Looking for someone?" 

 

Before he even had time to turn around and face the owner of that voice, he felt fingers wrap around his wrist before he was pulled into the dark alley that was right on his left. He hadn’t even noticed it in his haste and the mere fact that this person was able to make him forget everything and solely focus on him was enough for yet another wave of rage to flow through his veins. 

However, his back was harshly slammed against the dirty wall, its coldness seeping into Chanyeol’s skin but not helping in the taming of the pain his wound sent through his body. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes squeezed shut, Chanyeol waited a second for the biggest wave of pain to fade before looking straight ahead of him, head tilted down as his gaze met the face that he had been chasing for days. Shadows danced on Light’s face, moonlight barely shining on his face to reveal some patches of skin, dark eyes and equally as dark strands of hair reaching past his eyebrows. Something stirred in his lower stomach and Chanyeol was sure that it was rage and confusion, feelings strong enough to let another wave of adrenaline surge through him.

 

His hands shot up in a split second, fingers latching on the collar of the shorter’s jacket before he switched their positions, slamming him as hard as possible against the wall Chanyeol’s back had been against a mere second ago. 

 

"What the hell are you doing?" were the first words that left the assassin’s mouth, each syllable carrying anger, confusion, and something that even Chanyeol himself couldn’t pinpoint. His gaze never once left the other’s face, hands still clutching his collar to make sure that he wouldn’t escape even if that seemed not to be on Light’s mind, judging by how relaxed he was. He hadn’t even winced when his back had met the wall and Chanyeol could see the now familiar smirk curled on his lips, the same one he had been sporting on the day they had first met. It was unnerving.

 

"I’m letting you hold me against the wall, as you can see," the shorter replied nonchalantly and as he felt his breath brush his skin, Chanyeol finally noticed that a mere few inches were separating their face, his body completely pressed against the other’s to prevent him from fleeing. Chanyeol took a deep breath, trying to convince himself not to let the fellow assassin’s words mess with his mind and his intention to get answers tonight, no matter what.

 

"Stop messing with me," he warned, voice low and as dark as the sky’s dress tonight.

 

"You’re really bad at playing tag, you know? I had to let you win or else the game would have never ended."

 

That was the last straw for Chanyeol who groaned and slammed the other against the wall once again, satisfaction spreading through him when he heard the man’s head bump against the hard surface and caught the barely noticeable wince that disturbed his otherwise calm features. The worst about this was that Chanyeol seemed to be the only one who got so worked up about it, he was the one chasing the other furiously all over the streets, he was the one whose gaze trailed around for days every time he stood on a rooftop, and he was the one currently about to explode. The mysterious man who was finally in his hands seemed to take this casually, as if he hadn’t been messing with Chanyeol’s head for weeks. 

 

"I’m not into your stupid games so you better start explaining yourself now if you don’t want me to dig a hole into your head," he said, trying to stay calm in spite of the eyes that traveled all around his features, as if searching for something. 

 

"Alright, since you asked so nicely. What would you like to know, Chanyeol?" he asked calmly, never once looking away and Chanyeol was almost amazed by how confident the other was.

 

He had so many things to ask, so many answers to demand, but for a split second, his gaze traveled down the other’s face, falling upon the smirk resting on his lips. Those lips had been briefly pressed against his two weeks ago, they had been soft, even if the bruise on his lip and the confusion had prevented him from actually focusing on them. 

 

He snapped out of it when those lips parted to let out a light chuckle and he dragged his eyes back into the other’s gaze again.

 

"I’m sure you’d be disappointed to let this occasion slip away just because you were too busy staring at me," Light said, with an odd glint in his eyes. Chanyeol was too busy cursing himself inwardly to linger on it.

 

"Why are you doing this? Why are you messing with me?"

 

"Boredom, I guess," the other shrugged.

 

"This kill wasn’t even canceled and given to you, why didn’t you proceed like you usually do and instead just shot the target right in front of me?" he asked, forcing himself to stay calm.

 

"It’s more amusing this way. It would have been better if I could have seen the look on your face right when the second target was taken down by me though."

 

"Why are you messing with me? Give me a real fucking reply," he demanded, stressing each of his words as he tightened his hold around the other’s collar, not even glancing down when he felt a hand rest on his own. He could hit the other, punch him until he finally got his answers, but Chanyeol knew Light was a really good fighter, he had experienced it himself and the result had been far from satisfying. Shame still peeked into his mind whenever he remembered that day on the rooftop, after all. Asking the right questions might be smarter.

 

"I’m sure it would be funnier if you found the reason on your own," was the reply he got however, and he was not even surprised anymore.

 

"How do you know me?" Chanyeol then chose to switch topics.

 

"That’s a difficult question," the other replied after a few seconds of thinking, head tilted.

 

"It’s a simply question unless you’re stupid."

 

"You’re the stupid one here if you can’t figure it out," he suddenly snapped, throwing Chanyeol off guard. It was the first time since the beginning of their encounter that he managed to get a real reaction out of the other and it merely threw him into yet another wave of confusion. That happened way too often. 

 

"What? Not smiling like a cheeky idiot anymore?" he couldn’t help but ask, feeling a bit victorious.

 

"Are you saying you miss my smile?" the other replied, his teasing voice washing over the feeling that had fired up in Chanyeol as quickly as his angry expression shifted into the same smirk that had always lingered on his lips. 

 

"I’m saying you’re a pain in the ass," he groaned, the urge to wrap his hands around the other’s neck and squeeze as hard as he could growing stronger by the second. Especially when his amused chuckle reached Chanyeol’s ears. "Answer me."

 

"Well," the other sighed. "I just know you. That’s all. Why are you so curious about it?"

 

"Why the hell shouldn’t I be curious about someone who stabbed me randomly after stealing my kill?" he groaned.

 

"Oh right!" the shorter let out, as if only now remembering what had occurred on their first meeting. Chanyeol narrowed his eyes. "I stabbed you, didn’t I? I guess that’s why you’re so angry. Since the best hitman of Seoul lost against someone no one even knows anything about," he continued, voice vibrating with mocking undertones. Chanyeol should punch him, he really should but oddly, he couldn’t move his hands. Glancing down, he finally noticed that the hand that the other had rested on Chanyeol’s fisted one was gently moving, fingers trailing over his skin in slow and circular motions. He slapped it away.

 

"Don’t tell me you forgot how cowardly it was of you to stab me while we were fighting with bare hands."

 

"Bare hands? Did you lose enough blood that day to forgot you pointed a gun at me before I even grabbed my dagger?" was the other’s reply, its casual tone ticking Chanyeol off enough for him to clench his jaw. He was right. And judging by the confident glint in his eyes, Light knew it. 

 

The taller’s gaze once again traveled down, landing on Light’s lips before words flew out of his mouth.

 

"Why did you kiss me that day?" he asked, almost relieved to finally formulate what he had been itching to question for long minutes. 

 

"Why? Have you been thinking about it all this time?" the other merely asked back, both of his hands now wrapped around Chanyeol’s as he fought his hold to move forward, face inching closer to the taller’s.  

 

And it was odd how Chanyeol’s breath hitched as the other’s face neared his, gaze traveling over the beautiful features that were offered to him as he found himself unable to say anything. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t thought about it, everything about Light had been haunting him since their first encounter and it made him feel a lot of things, shame, anger, confusion, and curiosity were only a few of them. He wasn’t even sure why he hadn’t stabbed the other yet. "Why would I?" he finally said after a while, making sure that his voice was flat.

 

"Because you’re staring at my lips more than you should," the other whispered, his breath hitting the taller’s lips.

 

"Why are you doing this?" Chanyeol asked, voice low, words forming almost right against the other’s lips as he felt himself slipping into something, something that was foreign. Maybe it was attraction. He wasn’t sure but it wasn’t something he appreciated as it prevented him from squeezing his hand around the other’s neck after it unconsciously slipped to wrap around it earlier. That feeling somehow made him want to destroy the other’s pretty face. "Why did you kiss me after  stabbing me?" he asked again, this time boring his gaze into the shorter’s, insistent on getting a reply as that was probably the most confusing thing about that encounter.

 

"I just wanted to see how it would feel," he whispered, continuing to distract Chanyeol with his lips and the weird tone his voice suddenly took. 

 

There was something about him. _Something_ that Chanyeol couldn’t grasp, something that nudged at his mind. Something that he was set on uncovering. "Why?" he could only ask instead. A simple question. However, its answer was difficult to obtain from the person standing right in front of him and messing with his whole being. He knew he would be angry about it later, once Light wouldn’t exchange his breath with Chanyeol’s through their parted lips. 

 

The answer was, unsurprisingly, silence. A brush of the other’s lips against his, as light and fleeing as a memory one could not grasp. It was not a kiss, it wasn’t a peck either, it was just a simple contact between heir lips, something that he almost couldn’t feel. Something that he found himself wanting to feel, against all odds. The anger that had wrapped its claws against him for days seemed to disappear with a simple contact with the person it was directed at and he could not find any reason as to why that happened. He was supposed to avenge himself, stab the other, take his anger out of him, destroy his appealing features, and impose himself as the best assassin in town. Instead, Chanyeol was yearning for a real kiss, his mind completely caged by the other’s dark eyes and the mysterious glint that shone in them, as bright as the moon.

However, the spell shattered.

 

"He was right," Chanyeol felt the other say against his lips, snapping him out of his trance and causing his eyebrows to furrow in confusion.

 

However, before he could even say something or try to decipher the expression that was shrouding the shorter’s features, pain suddenly spread through his body, blinding and cutting his breath as much as the impact against his stomach did. He slipped away from the other, cutting every contact as his hands slid down to press against his abdomen, his unhealed wound pulsating with streams of pain as he couldn’t help but bend down a little, his body submitting to the single attack. 

 

Light had kneed him, right against his wound. And Chanyeol had once again not even noticed it, surprise mixing in with rage and agony.

 

He let out a quiet but pained sound, his furious glare still managing to find the other’s face in spite of his urge to crumble down and wait until the fire would fade. 

 

"You really need to work on paying more attention to the opponent. I expected more of the best assassin in Seoul, Chanyeol," were the man’s words, mocking, nonchalant, and almost disappointed.

 

"Who was right? What were you talking about?" Chanyeol chose to ask instead of replying or focusing on the shame that seemed to drown him in every encounter he had with Light. 

 

However, the other merely snorted as he stared Chanyeol down and it was confusing, he couldn’t understand why the other seemed angry when _he_ was the one who kept losing. The pain wasn’t fading yet and Chanyeol looked up at Light who returned the gaze for a few seconds before moving away from the wall, stepping past Chanyeol, bending to pick up the case that had been dropped when Chanyeol had slammed him against the wall, and finally turning his back to the latter to walk away. 

 

Chanyeol couldn’t find it in himself to start the chase all over again and from the pace at which the other disappeared out of sight, he guessed that Light wasn’t willing to continue his game either. 

 

He had lost.

 

Defeat, confusion, and anger tasted bitter in his mouth. Once again. The only difference was that it was even worse than the first time the mysterious man had made him feel such thing. He promised himself not to let such a shameful thing happen again on their next encounter. 

 

He was sure that there would be another one, Light always managed to find him at the most unexpected times. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you saying you left all your material, including your sniper riffle, on that roof to chase after an insignificant brat all over the streets?"

 

Those were Junmyeon’s first words after Chanyeol was done reporting the situation to him a few hours after the encounter. That was the usual procedure, each of them had to report to the leader after each kill, mission, or anything related to their job. It was rare for Chanyeol to hear the disapproving and almost annoyed tone hanging in the elder’s words whenever he was in his office however, and he wasn’t sure who was to be blamed for that. The guy who kept messing with him, leaving him in pain each time, or himself for not being able to carry out his reputation properly each time that happened? Junmyeon’s attitude showed that Chanyeol was probably the one to be blamed. 

 

"I’m sorry," he apologized, voice soft as he avoided the other’s gaze, too ashamed of himself to look him in the eyes. 

 

"Apologizing doesn’t change the fact that your behavior is far from being one that suits someone of your status, Chanyeol."

 

"Rule number one, never ever leave your weapon without attendance in an open place. Especially after a kill," came a voice behind him and Chanyeol didn’t have to look behind to know that Minseok, who was most probably leaning against the wall at the other side of the room, was looking at him in disapproval as well, in spite of the flat tone of his voice.

 

The man has known him for as long as Junmyeon did, they were already working together when a fourteen years old Chanyeol had joined them and he had watched him grow too. The only difference was that Minseok had always kept his distances with each of them, never smiling too much, only laughing when something was really amusing, only throwing them short remarks to help them improve their skills, never sharing anything personal. Chanyeol didn’t even know how he had met Junmyeon, the topic was never breached before.

 

"I know!" he snapped, not needing anyone to blame or question him like this. He was doing enough of it on his own already. Junmyeon raised a brow. "I know that," he said, a bit more gently. "But he took down _my_ target right in front of my eyes. What was I suppose to do? I was furious and I really needed to strangle him and watch his eyes slowly turn dull."

 

"You could have shot him while you were on the roof," Minseok said again and Chanyeol froze. That hadn’t even crossed his mind at that time. He could have shot him, he could have killed him right on the spot. Light had been purposely waiting for him. As if he had been sure that Chanyeol wouldn't shoot him. 

 

"I wanted answers before killing him," he muttered in reply. That was true, he wasn’t actually lying.

 

"It was still a reckless move," Junmyeon said this time, sharp gaze still fixed on Chanyeol who finally gathered the courage to directly look at him again. "Someone could have stolen your stuff. Someone could have seen you. The authorities could have even already been there by the time you’d come back."

 

"It won’t happen again," he simply said, jaw clenched and head tilted down again. He hated being reprimanded by Junmyeon, it was such a rare thing but it had already happened twice because of the same person. 

 

"I hope so. I don’t understand why a random psycho has this huge effect on you," the elder continued, obviously irritated by the mere fact that this was a topic of conversation. It was written all over his face, his furrowed eyebrows, the annoyed glint in his eyes. Even his stance showed it, his fingers drumming against the dark wooden desk.

 

"He’s threatening my reputation and messes with my job," Chanyeol defended himself. He chose not to let the other know that there were deeper reasons, mainly the confusion that their last encounter had pushed him into, once again. He had intended to get answers but he had only been left with even more questions at hand. 

 

"Chanyeol, it’s not a big deal. We still have a huge amount of clients, Light might be the talk of the town but you’re the person anyone goes to when they want a clean kill. Stop letting this fuck with your head. Next time you see him, talk it out or just kill him. That’s what you do, it shouldn’t be difficult," came Junmyeon’s stern voice again.

 

He wasn’t taking this seriously and merely dismissing Chanyeol. He wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing or not. The bad side was that he probably thought Chanyeol was stupid for lingering on this too much but he didn’t know what the latter felt, he wasn’t the one feeling confused. Chanyeol needed answers and if Junmyeon were to ask him why, he wasn’t sure he would even be able to explain and share everything that had happened between him and the mysterious assassin until now. Especially those odd kisses that he had never mentioned until now.

 

"I’ll take care of it more properly if it happens next time, sorry."

 

"It’s alright. I just don’t like seeing you so stressed out about something so insignificant," the leader reassured him, tone morphing into his usual neutral one. 

 

"I don’t know what came over me either," he replied, honestly confused about his own reaction.

 

"Is your wound okay? It wasn’t completely healed," Junmyeon questioned, sharp gaze morphing into one filled with worry. It was reassuring, at least he wasn’t totally angry at Chanyeol. 

 

"Yeah, it hurt when the bastard kneed me in the stomach but it’s okay now. There was a bit of blood but it hasn’t opened entirely."

 

"Call Yixing if you need to."

 

"It’s okay, there’s no need. I took care of it myself since it wasn’t important."

 

Before any more words of worry could be uttered by the leader, the door opened quietly and three pairs of eyes turned to it as Jongin appeared, a cheeky smile on his lips. 

 

"Are you done scolding Chanyeol?" 

 

Chanyeol glared at his best friend but chose to stay silent. The mood wasn’t light enough for him to throw insults to the other man.

 

"Have you been eavesdropping all this time?" Junmyeon raised a brow.

 

"My job is to eavesdrop on people," Jongin defended himself, as if what he had done was completely natural.

 

"Is it?" Chanyeol snorted.

 

"Well, I usually eavesdrop through my computer but it’s basically the same thing," he shrugged, closing the door behind him and waving at Minseok when he noticed him standing on his left, the latter replying to him with a formal nod of his head.

 

"What’s that?" Junmyeon questioned and Chanyeol followed his gaze to see that Jongin was holding a sheet of paper in his hand. 

 

He took his time to reply, as if thriving on the suspense that that single question had created while plopping down on the couch across from the one Chanyeol was sitting on. The latter almost snorted, his best friend could be such a huge drama queen sometimes. 

 

"You asked me to gather more information on Light," he shrugged again.

 

Those words were enough to get Chanyeol to immediately perk up, back straightening as he poured all his attention on Jongin. "What did you find?" he asked, trying his best to conceal the urgency in his voice. 

 

"Well, Light is," Jongin started, glancing at Junmyeon who was giving all his attention to him as well before his eyes dropped to the sheet of paper he was holding. The pause was unnecessary and Chanyeol hated himself for thinking that way. "Light is a word that comes from the Old English _leoht_. Translated to _lumen, luminis,_ or a bunch of weird similar words in Latin."

 

Chanyeol looked at Jongin blankly once he was done speaking, not sure whether he heard him correctly or not. He wasn’t sure whether he’d rather strangle his best friend or push him down the stairs in Junmyeon’s house. However, before he could do any of those or even say anything, Junmyeon’s unamused voice resonated in the quiet room.

 

"Jongin," he said, voice low and dark, seemingly enough for Jongin to clear his throat and regret whatever he had said.

 

"That’s literally the only thing I could find about him, boss," he explained, crumbling the sheet of paper in his hands and looking at Junmyeon in apology. "There is really nothing about him anywhere! I tried to find even a tiny little thing about him everywhere, hacked into many gangs’ systems, went over the files the police had in possession about known assassins, I even went as far as personally paying a visit to some of our allies or even people who know _everything_ about the underground world, but nothing. No one knows him, no one even knows what he looks like, he’s not the one who contacts clients, as I already said before. It’s like he doesn’t even exist and it’s really odd. I think he’s not leaving any trace of himself on purpose," Jongin ended with a frustrated sigh and the urgency with which he explained everything was enough for Chanyeol to know the fact that he hadn’t been able to satisfy Junmyeon’s request was disturbing him greatly. 

 

However, that didn’t prevent Chanyeol from clenching his hands into tight fists, disappointment filling him. Why was it impossible for him to grasp a single person? 

 

"Alright," Junmyeon sighed, the single sound filled with disappointment. "I know that you did your best. Thanks."

 

"That’s weird though," came Minseok’s voice from behind him and Chanyeol had almost forgotten that the man was with them, standing against the wall still.

 

"It is. But it’s not that big of a deal," Junmyeon reassured them and his nonchalance about this situation was almost ticking Chanyeol off. Their leader had always been overly confident. "We tried, we failed, now we have to move on. Kill him if he ever disturbs you again," he simply said, turning to Chanyeol once again.

 

The assassin could only nod, even if deep down, he knew that killing Light wasn’t what he wanted to do the most at the moment. He wanted answers, reasons as to why he was after Chanyeol. 

 

"You can both stop searching about him. He’s not worth both of you making my ears bleed with your whining," he frowned as both Jongin and Chanyeol remained quiet. "Am I understood?" he asked, tone calling for an answer.

 

"Yes, boss," said both Jongin and Chanyeol, in one unified voice.

 

"Jongin you can go home now, Chanyeol too. Both of you need to rest and I don’t want to hear anything about this insignificant matter starting from tomorrow. Goodnight."

 

Needless to say, Chanyeol once again felt like a child getting scolded by his parent, and that was the only thing he needed to hear before abruptly standing up and walking out of the room, and then the house with long strides.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Plopping down on his bed, Chanyeol took a deep breath, filling his lungs with air before letting them deflate again as he exhaled in a long and heavy sigh. His whole body was tired, still weakened by the wound given to him two weeks ago, the amount of adrenaline that had been pumped in his veins tonight had a big part in it as well. His arm rested over his eyes, preventing the angry light shining on the ceiling from reaching him, and he shifted a bit to get into a more comfortable position. The different voices coming from the television in the living room were the only thing that kept him sane that night and he listened for a bit, trying to decipher what the characters of the random movie he had stumbled upon when turning the device on earlier were saying. He didn’t understand anything.

 

And it certainly didn’t prevent his mind from going to places he’d rather not think about at the moment.

 

Like Junmyeon’s scolding, Jongin’s inability to find anything about Light. And most importantly, the guy who was haunting his thoughts for days and the effect he had on Chanyeol. The way his whole mind went into a frenzy whenever he was aware of the other’s presence, the way nothing else mattered besides catching _that_ target. How reckless he had been today, just to catch the other and let him slip between his fingers once again at the end. It was driving him nuts.

 

He didn’t understand.

 

There were too many things that the assassin couldn’t understand and it was reaching past the point of frustration, he felt the need to understand. He _had_ to comprehend everything about the situation. And it was difficult. No matter how many times he replayed the mysterious assassin’s words in his head, no matter how hard he thought about it, he was never able to find their meaning. 

 

Why did he say Chanyeol deserved to be stabbed right after he did it? Why did he say he deserved that kiss? Why did he get angry when Chanyeol couldn’t figure out the link between them? Who was he referring to when saying ‘he was right?’ _Why did he kiss Chanyeol twice?_

 

There was something that Chanyeol was missing, but what was it? 

 

He heaved out another sigh. He would never be able to understand unless he found the key that would bring all those pieces together. However, he didn’t even know where to look for in order to find that key.

 

Maybe taking a break was the best thing to do for now. Maybe it would be easier if he let all those mixed feelings cool down before diving in the situation again. He had been thinking about this without any break for two weeks now and he was getting tired of focusing on something that made no sense to him. He shook his head, running a hand through his face, the drag of his palm harsh against his skin as he tried pulling himself out of those thoughts. He had had enough for tonight and he didn’t want to think about it anymore. He wanted to sleep. It was getting late, even if he didn’t know what time it exactly was. 

 

He reached for his phone, fingers gently bumping against the wood of his bedside table as he grabbed the device before laying back down properly and holding tin front of his face to look at the screen. The first thing that caught his eye was the time, it was way past 2AM. The second thing that he focused on was a notification. 

 

A message sent by an unknown number more than an hour ago, he hadn’t noticed his phone vibrating in his pocket while he was taking a walk outside after leaving Junmyeon’s house. 

 

He opened it hurriedly, every ounce of exhaustion in his body forgotten when he remembered having received a similar message two weeks ago. 

 

 **From:** Unknown

 

" _What do you need in order not to bump everywhere at night?"_

 

He stared at the sentence contained by the message for a few seconds, confusion glaring at him as hard as the few words on the screen of his phone did. What kind of question was that? Who would even send such a thing to him? Was it the same person who had sent him the first message he had received? 

 

_What do you need in order not to bump everywhere at night?_

 

He read over the sentence close to ten more times, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. This wasn’t a random message. It was one he needed to understand.

 

He parted his lips, as if the answer to that question was resting on his tongue but something prevented him from saying it out.

 

_What do you need in order not to bump everywhere at night?_

 

A few more silent seconds passed.

 

Then, a single sound left his lips. A single word, a few letters that held a deeper meaning than they should. A single word that had been poking his mind like a needle for days, continuously and irritatingly, not painful enough for him to stop and think about it for hours but sharp enough for him to never actually be able to forget it. 

 

"Light," he whispered. 

 

And with that single word, something burst in his mind. Something colorful. Something bright. Something that caught all his attention at once. Something that splattered against his brain. Something that seemed to have been hidden in a corner of his mind all this time, unreachable until that exact moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"I found a nickname for you!"_

 

_"Really? What is it?"_

 

_"It has a deep meaning."_

 

_"Okay, but what is it?"_

 

 

 

_"What kind of nickname is that? It’s a random word."_

 

_"It’s not! I told you it has a deep meaning."_

 

 

 

_"You’ve been praising yourself about that nickname for five minutes straight and you haven’t even told me why you chose it."_

 

_"You haven’t even learned how to read the time yet."_

 

 

 

_"It’s because you’re the only thing I need to survive."_

 

_"What?"_

 

_"I can’t survive at night without light! Without light, we all bump everywhere in the darkness, right?"_

 

_"I don’t get it."_

 

_"You’re like light. Without you, I’d trip all the time. You help me walk properly without hurting myself. I wouldn’t be able to do all this without you. And it’s also really really cold at night when you’re not next to me so that’s why I’ll call you Light too."_

 

_"Light doesn’t have anything to do with warmth, silly."_

 

_"Don’t act smart, Baekhyun."_


	4. Chapter Four

_"I found a nickname for you!"_

 

_"Really? What is it?"_

 

_"It has a deep meaning."_

 

_"Okay, but what is it?"_

 

 

 

_"What kind of nickname is that? It’s a random word."_

 

_"It’s not! I told you it has a deep meaning."_

 

 

 

_"You’ve been praising yourself about that nickname for five minutes straight and you haven’t even told me why you chose it."_

 

_"You haven’t even learned how to read the time yet."_

 

 

 

_"It’s because you’re the only thing I need to survive."_

 

_"What?"_

 

_"I can’t survive at night without light! Without light, we all bump everywhere in the darkness, right?"_

 

_"I don’t get it."_

 

_"You’re like light. Without you, I’d trip all the time. You help me walk properly without hurting myself. I wouldn’t be able to do all this without you. And it’s also really really cold at night when you’re not next to me so that’s why I’ll call you Light too."_

 

_"Light doesn’t have anything to do with warmth, silly."_

 

_"Don’t act smart, Baekhyun."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two small and childish voices. Conversing. Bickering, playfully, gently, tenderly. As if they had been doing the same thing for years now, as if it was completely normal for them to speak like that with each other. 

 

One of those two voices was his, Chanyeol was sure of it. The other one, however, was familiar. Way too familiar and deep down he knew that its owner was the same person who has been haunting his mind for weeks now. They both sounded young, really young. And so innocent. However, Chanyeol knew who the child version of him was talking with. Light.

 

_Baekhyun?_

 

He replayed the scene in his mind once again, as if trying to grasp every single second of it, as if paying attention to a movie full of mysteries and plot twists that he wouldn’t be able to understand if he were to miss even a single second of it. He couldn’t even hear himself breathing, maybe he wasn’t even breathing anymore and that seemed to be the case, judging by the tightening he felt in his chest, as if something wanted to burst out of him. Maybe it was a memory. His eyebrows were furrowed, dark gaze focused on the now darkened screen of his phone as he did his best to link those few blurry sentences to anything in his life.

 

It was him. And someone called Baekhyun. He was suggesting a nickname to the later. That nickname was Light. Which meant that Baekhyun was Light. 

 

But why would Baekhyun be _Light?_ And what is he doing in Chanyeol’s memories? Why does that memory consist of a younger version of him talking to a younger version of Light? Is it really Light? Why are they together? Why are they speaking as if they had known each other since forever? Why was he giving a nickname to… Baekhyun? Who is Baekhyun? Why couldn’t he link anything to that memory? Why had he never remembered anything similar to it? _What is going on?_

 

The pictures accompanying those sentences were blurry. He couldn’t quite distinguish anything, no matter how hard he tried to see more clearly. All he could see was droopy beautiful eyes. Familiar ones. Ones that never left his mind in the past weeks. Then why did they leave his mind for all this time?

 

It didn’t make sense.

 

He unlocked his phone again, reading over the message that had triggered in him both a memory and a deep feeling of confusion, the feeling mixing in with panic and washing over him in agitated waves, reaching past the point where he felt safe and threatening him of drowning. Answers seemed to be the lifebuoy he needed in order to survive without harming himself further.

 

Chanyeol was deeply confused and once again, he couldn’t help but notice that that seemed to be the constant state he was in ever since his gaze had first met Light’s. Baekhyun’s? He didn’t even know how to call him, he wasn’t even sure of his identity anymore. But had he ever been sure of it anyway? Confusion soon morphed into anger, he was tired of not being able to understand what was happening around him, he was exhausted, he didn’t want to spend long nights staying up to try finding a logical reasoning behind the other assassin’s appearance in his life anymore.

 

Was Light the one sending him all those messages? Was he the one who had sent him the first one he received from an unknown number? He pressed a few buttons on his screen, finding the message he had gotten before.

 

 ** _From:_** Unknown 

_"Remember."_

 

He read it out loud once before reading the message he had received a few minutes ago again. If Baekhyun -it seemed more logical to call Light this way now- was the one sending him both of these messages then it only meant one thing, he had wanted Chanyeol to remember something. He wanted Chanyeol to remember him. And that was what happened but did Chanyeol really remember anything? Not really. Only a few words, and he couldn’t even understand why these words had been buried in his mind until now. However, now some things made sense. Light had alluded to them knowing each other in the past during their first encounter.

 

There was only one way to find a few answers to the hoard of questions crashing against each other in his mind.

 

With a newfound determination, Chanyeol moved his thumb over the screen of his phone, pressing on the call button in a desperate attempt of contacting the person behind this mental torture. It was Light- Baekhyun, he was sure of it. He brought the phone to his ear, listening to the rhythmic beeps mocking him as no one picked up the line. However, he didn’t give up, waiting and counting seconds as his anger went up a notch with each mocking sound that hit his eardrum through the receiver of the phone. Soon, it faded away to let a feminine but robotic voice inform him that no one was available to answer the call. 

 

He gritted his teeth in silence, not even surprised by the outcome as he was kind of expecting it. It would be a miracle if Baekhyun did anything to ease down the storm of feelings currently running over everything that his mind contained. His hand fell down on the mattress of his bed in disappointment, phone still clutched between his fingers as he took in deep breaths to calm himself down. He hated how easy it was for someone to pull him through an endless rollercoaster of emotions. 

 

Just as he thought that he had enough of this ride for tonight, he felt his phone vibrate shortly in his hand, indicating the receiving of a new message and the start of yet another round in this huge rollercoaster that Chanyeol had been forced into.

 

 **From** : Unknown

_"Miss my voice already?"_

 

That’s what he could read on his screen and that was the only thing he needed to confirm the writer of the messages he has been receiving. He could almost hear Baekhyun’s voice pronouncing those words in his mind. His current self, not the child that had been laughing in his memories.

 

He took a deep breath, sorting his thoughts out or at least attempting to do so before writing a reply.

 

 **To** : Unknown

_"Why did you send me that question?"_

 

 **From** : Unknown

_"Why? Was the reply too difficult for you to find? I thought you were smarter than that, even a ten years old would have figured it out."_

 

The reply that came not even a full minute later made him clench his jaw in irritation. The other had a way of insulting people so subtly, as if it was not even supposed to be an insult, and Chanyeol didn’t feel good about it at all. No one could talk to him like that.

 

 **To:** Unknown

_"Stop ignoring my questions, Light. Or should I call you Baekhyun?"_

 

 **From:** Unknown

_"Should you?"_

 

 **To:** Unknown

_"Stop fucking with me, I won’t say it again."_

 

 **From:** Unknown

_"I haven’t even touched you inappropriately yet but if that’s your intention…"_

 

The urge to smash his phone against the wall was as strong as Chanyeol’s hatred for the other right now but it was his only way of contacting Baekhyun at the moment and he would never do anything that would make him stray from the only path towards the answers he wanted. Baekhyun always did that, he always ignored his questions, replying to them with ones of his own or doing something to turn his attention away from the subject he was trying to breach. It was unnerving. As unnerving as the fact that calling the assassin ‘Baekhyun’ was so easy and comfortable, even only in his thoughts. He took a deep breath, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night, and typed a reply, pouring all his frustration into it.

 

 **To:** Unknown

_"What are you trying to do? What do you want me to remember? Are you called Baekhyun? Do we know each other? What does ‘Light’ have to do with me? What the hell do you want from me?"_

 

 **From:** Unknown

_"If you’re so curious, find me and ask me those questions again. I might answer then."_

 

A loud groan of frustration left Chanyeol’s lips as soon as the last message was received and he indeed threw his phone away this time, but managed to do it on the bed instead of against the wall just like he craved to do. It seemed like he wouldn’t get any kind of answers tonight and as his gaze landed on the message still glaring at him from the screen of his phone, a string of curses escaped him. How the hell was he supposed to find him if there was no clue as to where he was? How did the other assassin even manage to hide so well? 

 

Chanyeol didn’t know anything for now but he was determined to find out everything that linked him to Baekhyun. ‘Light.’ He couldn’t help but let out a snort when he thought about it. Was he really the one who had given him that nickname? He shook his head, thinking back on all the times he had mocked the other for carrying that name along with Jongin and Jongdae. 

 

He would unravel all the mysteries hiding beneath that name and, visibly, behind a dark empty cloud in his mind. No matter how impossible it seemed to be now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Chanyeol got to work as soon as the occasion presented itself the day after. On the morning following a night filled with dreams of with droopy eyes and childish laughter, the same memory replaying in his mind over and over again without ever getting less blurry, the sniper got a call by Jongin who informed him of a new mission given by Junmyeon that would happen two days later. His best friend had asked him to come over that afternoon for a quick debriefing on the subject since the job was involving both of them and Chanyeol had accepted without hesitating, not only because it was a must for the job to go smoothly but also because he thought that Jongin could be of great help when it came to locating Baekhyun. He was a hacker, one of the best Chanyeol had ever met and it would be nothing but easy for him to locate the assassin with the messages Chanyeol had received on his phone, right? 

 

"Penny for your thoughts?"

 

Jongin’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, his attention caught by the small thump he heard as his close friend put a can of beer on the low table in front of him before plopping down on the couch next to the one Chanyeol was sitting on. Count on Jongin to always know what Chanyeol needed without him even having to say so. 

 

"I was just thinking about the mission," Chanyeol replied while leaning to grab the can of beer, not exactly lying since that was one of the hundreds of thoughts swimming in his head at the moment. 

"Oh yeah the mission," Jongin said, focused on the television as he was changing channels, looking for something interesting to watch while conversing with Chanyeol. "It’s not really anything new. I’m just gonna have to talk with some mean gang leader while you’ll be watching me from a roof in case things turn ugly."

 

"Why didn’t Junmyeon contact me directly to explain the mission though?" Chanyeol questioned the other, eyebrows furrowed even as he took a sip of beer to wash off the bitter taste in his mouth. The leader always contacted him about even the simplest of jobs he’d be given.

 

"I guess he’s still upset about the Light thing," Jongin shrugged, taking a sip of his drink as well and letting go of the remote control after giving up on looking for something interesting and simply stopping on a kid’s cartoon.

 

"I don’t see why he’d be upset about that, I haven’t done anything wrong, did I?"

 

"You’re letting that guy fuck with your head and you know Junmyeon hyung hates sloppy jobs, you’re getting distracted by it and it’s affecting your skills," Jongin stated, not even using an accusing tone while doing so. And that’s what Chanyeol liked about his best friend, he never judged anything or anyone, simply observed, thought on the matter, and then revealed his opinion if needed. However, Chanyeol didn’t feel like speaking of this subject with anyone for now, he had had enough and wanted to focus on his job first. 

 

"I guess," he sighed before changing the subject. "Anyway, tell me about the mission."

 

"The boss said it was kinda complicated," Jongin started. "There’s this small gang who’s been annoying a bigger one and they’re trying to make a deal for some territory matters. You know Cobra, right?" 

 

"I’ve heard about them from Junmyeon hyung or the others before."

 

"You should really pay more attention to what’s going on in the city," Jongin chuckled softly to which Chanyeol shrugged. He was an assassin, the name and status of targets didn’t matter, their jobs either, he didn’t need to know everything about everyone in the city. He just needed a name, a picture, and with those, he’d be able to take down the target without any unnecessary research. "Well, I hope you at least know they’re the current biggest gang out there."

 

"Obviously, I know at least that much, Jongin."

 

"Just making sure," the other retorted with an amused smirk before turning more serious again as he went into more explanations. "Well, Cobra has been reigning over the drugs business for years now and this small gang is annoying them by selling shitty goods on their side of the city. They don’t want to directly wipe them off since the small gang could become an ally and work for them instead, it would bring in more money. So I’m gonna meet with them and offer them money in exchange of an alliance with Cobra and if they get rude, you kill them," he finished with shrug.

 

"Why don’t they just kill them and get the territory? That would be easier," the taller commented, sipping on his drink.

 

"Cobra has always been more business oriented than others, they try getting money in a slightly civilized way first. If it doesn’t work, then they get merciless."

 

"Alright but why do _we_ have to do that?" Chanyeol asked, confused.

 

"I guess I should educate you since you’re clueless about everything but how to properly aim and shoot right between someone’s eyebrows," Jongin snorted, soon followed by Chanyeol who took no offense in it, as usual. "Cobra is a gang that’s pretty powerful, they work in a lot of areas such as drugs, arms trafficking, human trafficking, and recently they’ve started throwing themselves into gambling as well. They’re big but they don’t have that many high ranking people and clean murders aren’t their forte at all, they’re more into dealing with illegal stuff and each branch has a leader that supervises many other small workers such as dealers for their drugs industry, for example," Jongin explained, taking sips of beer occasionally and making sure that Chanyeol wasn’t getting even more confused while listening to the small presentation. 

 

"I see," Chanyeol hummed, swirling the can of beer in his hand and listening to the liquid in it sloshing around. "I guess none of those branch leaders are good enough in murder or charming people into agreeing with a smile."

 

"Exactly, that’s the only area in which Cobra lacks. They don’t have good assassins and even if they most of the time manage to deal with that kind of stuff on their own, Sehun usually asks assassin clans to take over for the more sensitive and difficult situations and it just happens that Venom is their main ally, that’s why we’re often given jobs from them."

 

"Sehun?" Chanyeol frowned in confusion.

 

"Oh Sehun, he’s the leader of Cobra. Or at least, that’s what everyone considers him as. No one knows who the real leader of Cobra is, that part is a bit confusing even for me."

 

"What do you mean? If he’s the leader then he is." Why did everyone make everything so complex?

 

"Well, it’s a long story that no one really talks about anymore."

 

"I wanna know though," Chanyeol insisted. This ‘history lesson’ managed to make him focus on something other than a stranger with two different names and he wanted it to go on for a little longer.

 

"Now, would you look at that. Is Park Chanyeol finally interested in what happens in Seoul’s narrow and dark streets?" Jongin mocked him, faking a surprised expression that only made him look stupid.

 

"You’re spending too much time with Jongdae," he snorted. "Just continue explaining, idiot."

 

"Rude," Jongin laughed before resuming his explanations. "Well, ten years ago, Cobra’s former leader was killed," he started, eyebrows furrowed as if it was still confusing to him. "No one really knows what happened, everything just happened overnight and suddenly, there was a new leader who never really showed his face in public. No one knows who it is but Oh Sehun was always seen as his spokesperson, that’s why he’s considered as the leader today. Maybe he really is, maybe he ended up killing that guy no one knows anything about since no one has heard about him in years. That wouldn’t be surprising since the guy is lowkey a psycho. Maybe these are also false rumors, the only confirmed thing is that the former leader died but there are different versions, even within Cobra’s own members."

 

"That sounds really confusing but it was a nice story. It could even be made into a movie one day," Chanyeol snorted. The underground world was so dramatic, he thought while gulping down the rest of his beer. He got reminded once again of the reason why he never really paid attention to anything that didn’t directly involve his job as an assassin. The world they lived in was too complex, too dark, and it was so easy to get lost in it and never find a way out ever again.

 

"Maybe it will be, who knows," Jongin played along.

 

"How do you even know all of that though?" Chanyeol questioned, genuinely impressed by the fact that Jongin knew almost everything about everyone in the world they lived in.

 

"I guess being able to hack into the governments’ and other gangs’ files is a big help," Jongin grinned, obviously proud of himself, and Chanyeol could only smile at his best friend’s antics.

 

Silence then shrouded the room again and as Jongin mumbled something about shitty shows always being on television while zapping through the channels once again, Chanyeol could have been thinking about all the new information he had gotten from the hacker but instead, his mind once again went back to more important matters such as a way to find the person who had shoved him into a big and scary rollercoaster before disappearing. 

 

He cleared his throat, not exactly knowing how to breach the subject as he was scared of Jongin asking him questions he didn’t even have the answer to. However, it was something necessary so he looked at his friend before parting his lips and finally revealing the main reason why he was here.

 

"Jongin, could you help me about something?" he asked, making sure to sound serious enough without implying how important this was to him.

 

"If it’s something I can do, of course," Jongin replied, giving the taller his whole attention and even finally turning the television off.

 

"I need you to track someone down through their phone, if that’s possible."

 

"Alright, I’ll try. Why and who?" Jongin asked, studying Chanyeol as he did so.

 

"Don’t ask for now, please," Chanyeol replied, gaze boring into his friend’s.

 

"Alright," Jongin replied after a few seconds of hesitatingly observing the taller before holding his hand out. "I need your phone."

 

Chanyeol offered him a small smile before reaching for his phone in the pocket of his jeans. Jongin wouldn’t ask anything, he knew it, he wouldn’t pry either unless he considered the situation to be too dangerous and Chanyeol knew he could trust him about this. So he gave him his phone, hoping that the few texts they had exchanged were enough for the hacker to track Baekhyun’s phone. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As it turned out, a few text messages and an unanswered call were far from being enough for Jongin to locate Baekhyun and disappointment left a bitter taste in Chanyeol’s mouth after he spent more than an hour waiting for the results as Jongin typed furiously on his computer. The hacker had said that it would have been easier if the call Chanyeol made had been answered since there was not much he could do with a few mere texts, besides managing to find the owner of the phone line with a few tweaks.

 

However, the small glimmer of hope those words had ignited in Chanyeol faded away almost instantly when Jongin had announced him with an apologetic smile that the number belonged to a man who had died more than two years ago. Chanyeol, as desperate as he could get, had asked him to try once again and Jongin had went over all the steps again only to reach a different number that belonged this time to a woman who had died more than five years ago. According to his best friend, it meant that the texts were not even sent through an actual phone using an actual line but rather than that, through a computer or even some kind of program that would conceal a number and only lead to dead ends. A hacker was probably behind it, Jongin had said with a frown before offering to keep trying, he was good enough to break the virtual wall raised in front of the person the number belonged to and he would only need more time in order to do so.

 

Chanyeol had refused, he didn’t think involving Jongin in it was a good idea and if this didn’t work, he’d find another way to hunt Baekhyun down and pull the answers he wanted out of his luscious mouth.

 

"Alright, I’ll drop you off here so you can find a good building to watch me from. I’ll wait until you’re settled to go there, it’s near."

 

Jongin’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts again and he looked at him blankly, trying to process the words that had escaped him which obviously didn’t go unnoticed from the other.

 

"What’s wrong?" Jongin asked, concerned.

 

"Nothing."

 

"Were you thinking about the thing from two days ago? Look, if it’s really important for you, I can try  locating the number-"

 

"Don’t bother, Jongin," Chanyeol cut him off firmly, shaking his head to emphasize the fact that he didn’t want the other to do anything about it anymore. He was supposed to find Baekhyun on his own.

 

"Fine," Jongin sighed before nodding towards the side. "Get out then or we’re going to be late, it won’t help us seal the deal."

 

"I’ll text you once I’m settled," was the only thing Chanyeol said before getting off the car with the case carrying his sniper riffle and looking around once before walking towards the building they had already settled on when talking about the mission the other day. They were in the outskirts of the city and the meeting was going to happen in a mall abandoned house that the other gang usually used for meetings, it was not the best place for that kind of thing and that alone was enough for Chanyeol to know that they were a small and inexperienced group, they only wanted money out of a bigger enemy they didn’t even stand a chance against. 

 

The rooftop Chanyeol was settling on was one of an abandoned building right across the one the meeting would take place in and it took him only a few minutes to get everything ready, slipping into his usual role of cold blooded assassin and making sure that he would be able to aim through the broken windows of the small house. He took another minute to properly inspect the surroundings, noting that there were only two cars, both of them parked right in front of the entrance of the house, a third one might be waiting at the back but that was unlikely, Chanyeol supposed the small gang wasn’t experienced enough to prepare an escape in case it was needed.

 

Looking through the scope mount of his riffle, he paid more attention to what was happening inside the building, it was rather dark inside but not enough for him to find it difficult to see anything. Two men were standing in the middle of the messy room, discussing on a matter in a rather calm fashion. There were two cars, which meant that there was at least a third person somewhere in there and after not being able to find them in any corner of the room or other rooms, Chanyeol concluded that they were hiding in case they would need to intervene. Not really smart, Chanyeol thought while snorting quietly, as he thought back to the second car parked in front of the house. 

 

Either way, everything seemed safe enough for now and he wrote a quick text to Jongin to let him know that he could now advance towards the place. Not even a full minute later, Chanyeol watched through his scope mount as a familiar car drove to the front of the house before his best friend appeared out of it, blond hair slicked back handsomely as a black suit shrouded his tall figure. Chanyeol never really understood why he had to wear a suit for this kind of situation, they were in an abandoned and dirty building after all but each time he commented on it, Jongin would reply that the more handsome someone was, the easier it was for others to agree to whatever they said. He didn’t really understand that logic but Jongin was good at his job so he supposed it worked.

 

He followed the man into the building, noting the small black case that he was holding, watching as he disappeared behind the door before reappearing in front of the window, a confident and charming smile pulling the corners of his lips up as he greeted the two men who were still standing in the middle of the room. The atmosphere was obviously tense and they both seemed to be nervous in front of Jongin whom they probably already had heard about, everyone in this city had heard about Venom’s members at least once in their lifetime anyway. That didn’t mean everything would go according to the plan however, and Chanyeol’s gaze never once left Jongin or the two men, watching every single twitch of their nervous hands and the careful way in which they greeted Jongin back. The latter seemed rather relaxed, he was in his element and Chanyeol knew he would do his best to get out of that house with a victorious grin on his lips. 

 

Chanyeol focused on him again, not even hearing himself breath as his whole attention was poured into the scene infolding under his eyes, Jongin gently but firmly setting the small case on the table separating him from the two men before snapping it open to reveal the thousands of bills of money neatly laid out inside of it. The two men looked at it in barely concealed surprise for a few seconds before one of them parted his lips to speak, probably laying out conditions and discussing the deal. If he was smart, he would accept the money and leave.

 

A few more minutes passed that way, Chanyeol’s body not moving even a single inch as he watched the three males discuss the deal, frowns seeping into their features while Jongin remained smiling, lips moving as he probably was pouring promises beautifully phrased in an attempt to convince them. The tension was heavy enough to even press down on Chanyeol’s shoulders despite his not being in the room where the matter was discussed but he was used to that feeling, he was thriving off it, he was drinking it all up and not even paying attention to the shivers racking through his skin. 

 

This was what he did, this was the only thing that was entirely _his_. This was the thing he did the best. Observing, tracking, preying on someone, aiming, and waiting for the perfect moment to strike a bullet through their brain, their heart, or any other lethal emplacement on their body. This was the thing he was the best at in this dangerous city. He was the only one able to carry this title, he was the only one deserving of that title.

 

At least, until recently.

 

And with that single thought, Chanyeol’s whole focus crumbled down, the frown of concentration adorning his face quickly turning into an irritated one as every single thought that the mission had managed to chase away for a few minutes came back louder than ever. Instantly, droopy eyes and childish laughter seeped into his mind, distracting him from his duty and calling for his entire attention as his hold around the weapon tightened out of frustration.

 

He wasn’t the best assassin of the city anymore, at least not in everyone’s eyes. Light snatched his title the same way he snatched his sanity, and this exact moment was the best proof of it. He couldn’t focus back on his task, watching as Jongin leaned closer to the two men, smile slipping off to let a serious and almost threatening curtain drape over his handsome features. 

 

Why couldn’t he find Baekhyun? Not even in his mind, he was nowhere. He was still as confused and the feeling only grew with each passing day as the other seemed to be doing his best in order to mess with Chanyeol’s head. Why did he even have to compete with Chanyeol in _his_ area? He was the best, it was confirmed, and it had been that way for years, even since he had properly learned how to use a sniper riffle. It had been that way until the other assassin started stealing his kills. 

 

Maybe he was even here right at this moment, watching Chanyeol with a mocking smile from afar and waiting for the right moment to strike. Chanyeol straightened his back, throwing a glance around him before quickly going back to watching Jongin, or at least trying to do so. Maybe Baekhyun was hiding somewhere in here. He clicked his tongue, irritated more than ever as he looked around more properly, gaze searching for a target that was way too good at hiding. Was Baekhyun really the target though? Or was he the predator of this hunt instead? Chanyeol didn’t even know anymore, it was messing with his head, making him unable to think about anything else for more than a few minutes.

 

The single memory of two children talking together replayed in his mind. It went against everything Chanyeol had ever known, it didn’t make sense, it didn’t fit with anything he knew about. Was Baekhyun standing close somewhere around and watching him slowly losing his sanity? His gaze traveled to the surrounding buildings, maybe he was on a rooftop like he had been on the day he had shot down Chanyeol’s target in front of his own eyes. He couldn’t see anything. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Why was he worrying so much about it?

 

Cursing under his breath, he leaned down to look through the scope mount again, adjusting the weapon until he could see what was happening in the abandoned house again. He had looked away for too long and as soon as his gaze fell on Jongin again, his eyes widened.

 

The male was currently battling the two gang members with bare hands, something had obviously went wrong along the way and they had resorted to attacking Jongin who did his best to defend himself. He never really worked on the field, not on anything concerning direct murder at least, he went on meetings and did his duty as a hacker but that didn’t mean he didn’t know how to defend himself or even take someone’s life. He specialized in hand combats and he managed to defend himself, landing punches and kicks to the two men but just as Chanyeol finally noticed that things had gone wrong during the meeting, he could see a third person approaching Jongin from behind. The latter was too busy defending himself against the two other men’s blades to notice that a third person was approaching him with a thick metal stick in hands.

 

It took only a second for Chanyeol to regain his senses, his survival instincts kicking in and pushing his body into moving on its own as he aimed properly and pulled the trigger right when the third man was raising the stick high above his head, preparing to hit Jongin with it. His body fell on the floor, lifeless, before he managed to strike the back of Jongin’s head though and it seemed to surprise the other two men as they stopped for a second, staring at the corpse of their fellow member. Chanyeol took the occasion to shoot down one of them and Jongin, taking the hint, leaned down to take hold of the dagger in the dead man’s hand before stabbing the remaining one with quick movements and watching as he crumbled down on the floor as well.

 

Once it was all done, Chanyeol let out a relieved sigh that didn’t really help removing all the tension in his body. Jongin was at least safe now. He was not supposed to have been in danger at all, Chanyeol was supposed to watch and intervene if needed. He should have done something before the fight even broke out and yet, he had noticed that something was wrong only after faint bruises formed on his best friend’s face and as he watched him calm down through the scope mount, Chanyeol was crushed by an enormous feeling of guilt that crashed on him like a wall that was crumbling down suddenly and without any warning.

 

It only worsened when Jongin threw him a furious look and the sniper quickly gathered his stuff, locking his weapon away in its case before leaving the rooftop with quick steps and preparing himself to face Jongin again after the disaster that this mission had turned into. Guilt merged with anger, reflecting in the way his jaw locked and unlocked quickly. He was angry, not only at Baekhyun for messing with him in such a way that Chanyeol managed to lose himself every time he even merely thought about him, but at himself too, for letting things go so far. This was not him, this was not how Chanyeol was. He was a cold blooded assassin and this was not how he was supposed to behave.

 

As expected, Jongin was waiting for him in front of his car, arms crossed against his chest and a flame of anger dancing in his dark orbs. He was furious and Chanyeol knew he had every reason to be. His face was rather untouched, a faint reddened bruised was on his cheekbone but otherwise, he looked fine. That is, until Chanyeol’s gaze wandered down to his clothes and he noticed the few cuts littered around his arms and shoulders, blood seeping into his clothes a bit.

 

"You’re wounded," were Chanyeol’s first words as he stepped to stand in front of him, immediately checking on the cuts on his fellow member’s arms. They didn’t really look deep, the blade had only dragged against his skin and didn’t cut much, they had not been able to properly stab him while he defended himself. The cut on his abdomen looked a bit worse but it was not a stab either, Jongin wouldn’t have been able to murder him with his glare if he were too wounded.

 

"I’m fine," he simply spat out angrily. "But you’re not. What the hell were you doing Chanyeol?! You were supposed to shoot them down before they even managed to touch me," he blamed the other, voice not even raising a notch, remaining quiet, and that only made things worse for Chanyeol.

 

"I’m sorry, Jongin," he apologized through gritted teeth, hands curled into tight fists. "I was watching you but I… I guess I got distracted and I didn’t see anything happening, I’m really sorry," he continued, not even able to find an excuse no matter how irritating it was to admit his mistake. Chanyeol never made mistakes. 

 

"What happened again?" Jongin sighed, angry but more concerned than anything, judging by the way his body relaxed a bit. "Was it Light? Was he there?" he asked when Chanyeol stayed silent, not finding anything to say.

 

"No, that fucker wasn’t here," he grumbled, his anger towards himself only intensifying when he heard that damned name.

 

"Then what?! What’s happening to you nowadays? You’re not usually like this, Chanyeol. I could have died out there, I’m strong but not to the point of getting out of a fight with three people without any harm. Your job was to watch over me and intervene if needed."

 

Everything Jongin said was true and that fact ate at him as he stood there, getting scolded like a child that had committed a stupid mistake. "I’m sorry," he apologized again and he hated it because he never apologized to anyone, especially not to Jongin, his best friend. But he had nothing else to say.

 

"Junmyeon hyung’s right, Chanyeol," Jongin said, voice low with anger, concern, and was it disappointment that Chanyeol could also hear? He hated it so much. "This is all because of Light again. This started happening ever since you encountered him for the first time and I don’t know what’s exactly happening but you need to come back to your senses. First you get stabbed by him, then you stupidly leave your weapon without attendance on a rooftop, and now you shoot down people once we’re already fighting and I’m in danger instead of watching over me properly right  from the beginning. You never fail any of your kills. You’re an assassin. Act like one and stop letting stupid thoughts distract you and push you and all of us into such dangerous situations."

 

Every single word felt like a slap to Chanyeol and his hands started shaking with anger but he had nothing to say, nothing to _justify_ himself. He deserved all those words. He needed to stop acting like a fool and focus back on his job instead.

 

He heard Jongin sigh and didn’t find it in himself to look at his friend, choosing to keep his gaze fixed on the ground instead, he didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes, even if he knew Jongin now probably felt bad for saying all those things to him.

 

"Let’s just forget this. I hope you’ll be okay and will go back to the way you were before all this. Try not to let this fuck with your head too much, alright?" Jongin said more gently, patting Chanyeol’s shoulder as if to comfort him and apologize for his outburst before shoving his car keys into his hand. "Drive us to my apartment? I’ll take care of those wounds myself."

 

And Chanyeol nodded, getting in the driver’s seat once Jongin was settled in the passenger’s side and driving all the way to the shorter’s apartment in an uncomfortable and stifling silence even if he had so many things he wanted to say. He yearned to scream his feelings out, how he hated the way he was behaving too, how ashamed he was of the person he was turning into, and how much he would have loved things not to turn out this way. He was well aware of how wrong everything was. He knew he needed to get a grip on himself. Chanyeol hated the effect Baekhyun had on him, he hated everything he felt because of someone who should be insignificant and yet was full of mysteries. He felt incredibly ashamed of all of this and he was dying to scream it into Jongin and Junmyeon’s ears but he just _couldn’t._ The only thing he could currently do was replay a single memory in his head while hoping to understand it at one point.

 

He hated knowing that he would never be able to go back to the way he was before all of this. Not until he’d find answers.


	5. Chapter Five

_Pain was raining down on him, wrapping around his whole body, and pounding in his veins with each beat of his heart. His small body was weak, too weak, and yet no mercy was given to a small child that somehow didn’t even regret being at the receiving end of the kicks showered down on him. His arms were wrapped around his head as he did his best to protect that part of his body, legs folded against his tummy and knees digging into his chest. He was a defenseless ball of innocence and yet the bigger and stronger man would not believe it even if in this situation, the small kid didn’t mind it._

 

_"That’ll teach you not to steal bread again, you bastard!" he heard through the pain as another harsh kick dug into his side, cutting his breath as a whimper of pain escaped his lips, followed by a series of small coughs. "All of you rats should fucking die!"_

 

_Fortunately, those were the last words of the merchant and he gave the small kid a disgusted glare before returning to his stall and ordering the several varieties of bread and other pastries around as if he had not just given a small kid a beating that he would never forget. Without even looking back at the kid that was left in the small alley, the man continued looking around for potential clients and used his voice to draw them in by announcing the price of the bread he was selling. The crowd walked amongst the several stalls selling fruits, clothes, food, and yet, no one even heard his whimpers of pains._

 

_The child waited a few seconds for the pain to fade away and it obviously didn’t but it was all it took for him to gather some courage and sit up, resting his back against the dirty wall and wincing when pain shot up in his ribs. Was it broken? Probably not, he guessed that if it was broken, he wouldn’t be able to move._

 

_"Chanyeol!"_

 

_The call of his name distracted him from the pain and he looked up, a smile spreading on his lips when he saw who had called out to him, not that he would need to see him to recognize his voice._

 

_It was blurry._

 

_"Hey," he breathed out with some difficulty, doing his best to smile. A child dropped on his knees beside him. Was it worry on his face as he checked over Chanyeol’s bruises? "Are you okay?"_

 

_"Idiot! I should be the one to ask that to you! Are you okay?"_

 

_Eyes shining with unshed tears and lower lip wobbling in sadness._

 

_"I am. It’s nothing," Chanyeol said softly, raising a hand to cup the other’s cheek. He was not supposed to cry._

 

_It was too blurry for him to see anything._

 

_"Why are you taking all the beatings for me, Chanyeol-ah?"_

 

_Chanyeol’s hand was slapped away. The voice was trembling as tears started rolling down pale cheeks. Chanyeol had not even noticed that the same tears were already drying on his own cheeks._

 

_Because he shouldn’t see Chanyeol crying._

 

_"I’m sorry! I should have been the one beaten. I stole it and he caught me. Why did you do that?"_

 

_"I would never allow anyone to hurt you, Baekhyunnie."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A loud gasp resonated in the otherwise silent room as Chanyeol snapped his eyes open, finding himself thrown out of Dreamland in the least expected moment. He looked around, disoriented and confused, before taking a deep breath when he grasped the fact that he was in his own bed, in his own house. His hand reached out for the phone that he knew was laying on the bedside table, pressing on the home button to check the time. It was ten o’clock in the morning. He fell back against the mattress and stretched his long limbs, letting out a soft sound of content as he felt his muscles relax after the action, only to sigh again. He was in his own room, he was not a kid stuck in a dream.

 

However, was it really only a dream? Could it have been a memory? It probably was, it involved two children again, him and another one called Baekhyun again. _Baekhyunnie._ That was how Chanyeol had called the other in his dream- memory. In his memory? Everything led him to believe that it was a memory. Another memory. It had been more than a week since his last one, the first time he remembered something about Baekhyun. This one was not triggered by something like the first one had been, this one had been a dream and not something he remembered after a sentence uttered by Baekhyun himself. Light. He still was not sure whether Light was Baekhyun or not but somehow, he couldn’t help but assume that he was. Something in him _knew_ that he was.

 

It looked like there were a lot of things Chanyeol knew deep down of him without being aware of it and he was still very much confused about where all those memories were coming from. They were memories, they couldn’t be anything else. Why would he dream of himself as a kid with someone else? 

 

This dream had been blurry as well. He was already having a difficult time remembering its content and it had only been a few minutes since he woke up. He couldn’t remember the face of the man who had been beating him already, it was blurry and he could not grasp parts of the dream, it was slipping between his fingers so easily, fleeing too fast for Chanyeol’s mind to catch up to it. He frowned when remembering the pain he had felt, even if it had only been a dream, and as far as he understood, it had happened because someone had stolen bread from the man. Until that part, everything was quite easy to understand.

 

However, _Baekhyun_ entered the scene again and confusion once again swept Chanyeol away. He was a child, worried about Chanyeol who had been beaten up because of him. He still could not remember the child Baekhyun’s face, some of his features lingered in his mind but not everything about him. There was droopy eyes, soft but stained skin, sadness, and worry. Baekhyun had been the one who stole the bread and Chanyeol took the beating for him. It didn’t make sense, why would he do that for Baekhyun? The way he had addressed him in the memory was familiar and casual, it led him to think that they had been close and it somehow matched with the first memory he had of the child but it confused him even more as well. Why would Baekhyun steal bread? Why would Chanyeol take the beating for him? Why would he not _allow anyone to hurt Baekhyun?_ Had he been that important to Chanyeol? Why?

 

He heaved out another sigh. He wanted to go back to sleep. It had been more than a week since he last heard from Baekhyun and no confusing memory or picture had appeared in his mind either but the man had of course not left his head either. Sleeping had been the only way to escape everything until today, the thoughts about beautiful eyes and enticing smiles, the links he was trying to find between him and a stranger who had stabbed him on their first encounter, and a conversation between two small kids. However, confusion now came to find him even in his dreams and Chanyeol really had no escape anymore. Until he found answers. Which was difficult since he could not even find the only person who could provide him those answers.

 

Chanyeol had continued looking for him everywhere during the past week but he was not the kind to wander outside in public and he could not ask Jongin if he had anything knew about the assassin anymore after the episode on their last mission together. It had been useless, he was nowhere and everywhere at the same time, never appearing in front of Chanyeol’s eyes but never once straying away from his mind. At least, Chanyeol had gotten better at focusing on his kills when needed.

 

He didn’t want to think about this anymore. He had nothing to do today though, he couldn’t distract himself by focusing on taking lives in exchange of money. He had no friends to hang out with either, his occupation made it impossible for him to socialize with people who were not part of his clan. Maybe he could just drop by Junmyeon’s house to see if there was anything he could do or simply hang out there. The man was rich enough to have many entertaining things in his house and he wouldn’t mind letting Chanyeol find amusement in them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took him only a few minutes to get dressed before leaving his house to head towards Junmyeon’s instead. He never took too long to get ready, putting on clothes and running his hand through his hair was enough for him, a snapback was the only addition he would occasionally make if judging his hair too unruly on that day. It didn't take him too long to reach Junmyeon’s house either, it was less than ten minutes away by car and Chanyeol usually liked to walk there instead as it would allow him to breath in fresh air and try sorting out his thoughts but today, he had no energy to waste on the same thoughts that would lead him to collide against a big and harsh wall in the end.

 

Ringing the bell, he waited for one of Junmyeon’s many servants to open the door, not even sparing the woman a glance once she did before walking in and directly striding towards Junmyeon’s office. She didn’t need to announce his arrival, Chanyeol was no stranger even if she had not been working here for that long.

 

"Ohh, isn’t that Seoul’s coldest and deadliest sniper?" were the words greeting him as soon as he knocked on the door of his boss’ office and entered after waiting for approval. Jongdae, who had been the one to greet him first, was sprawled out on the seat in front of Junmyeon’s desk, booted feet resting on the low table separating it from the second seat right across it, and the elder was sitting behind his desk like he usually was, eyeing Jongdae’s feet with disapproval.

 

"Does your excited greeting mean you missed me, hyung?" Chanyeol snorted as he dropped down on the available seat, turning to Junmyeon and greeting him with a nod of his head.

 

"You wish, but unfortunately for you, you still don’t have boobs for me to even consider missing," Jongdae replied, a catlike smile curled on his lips. Chanyeol wisely chose not to reply, simply shaking his head in amusement before looking at Junmyeon.

 

"To what do I owe this surprise, Chanyeol? You don’t have any clients to take care of or any report to make today," the elder noted, looking back at him with a faint smile.

 

"I was bored," he shrugged.

 

"Good thing you’re here then. I also thought giving the old man a visit form time to time would be nice. He shouldn’t feel lonely and abandoned," Jongdae commented, giving the _old man_ a playfully sad look.

 

"Don’t forget who pays you, Jongdae," Junmyeon raised a brow in amusement, fingers drumming on the dark surface of his desk.

"You’re like wine, boss. The older you get, the better you look. That’s what I meant," Jongdae corrected himself quickly, causing the other two men to laugh at him lightly. Right at that moment, Chanyeol knew that coming here to distract himself had been a good idea.

 

At least until Jongdae opened his mouth again.

 

"By the way, Chanyeol. How have you been? Jongin told me you were still obsessed with that Light bulb guy."

 

Instantly, Chanyeol tensed up, clenching his jaw as he threw Jongdae a discontent filled look that the other ignored, lips still curved into the same amused grin. He threw a glance at Junmyeon, noticing that the man’s whole attention was on him, as if he had been curious about the matter too, and Chanyeol wondered if Jongin had told him about his slip up during their latest mission together. Judging by the lack of scolding in the days following that episode, Chanyeol assumed that his best friend had kept it secret and he was endlessly thankful for that even if he still felt too ashamed to face him after that day.

 

"I’m doing good, thanks for asking," he simply replied, hoping that his gaze would be enough for Jongdae to understand that this was a topic he didn’t want to breach.

 

"Are you sure? Jongin told me Light was still bothering you too. Did you bump into him again?" Junmyeon immediately asked as if remembering that was a subject that needed to be brought up, eyebrows furrowed in what Chanyeol hoped was concern and not anger.

 

"No, I haven’t seen him again ever since he shot my target in front of me," he replied honestly.

 

"Then why are you still thinking about him?" Jongdae asked, curious as his eyes never once left Chanyeol.

 

"He’s my rival. Of course, I’m going to think about him. He’s threatening my reputation and annoying me," Chanyeol frowned, wondering why everyone else refused to see how much that mattered to him. 

 

"Yeah but you haven’t heard of him for more than a week, right?"

 

"Yeah, I haven’t," he replied, looking at Junmyeon. 

 

"Then why would you still think about him? It looks like he gave up and there is no reason for you to linger on it or it’ll affect the way you work. Again," Junmyeon replied, putting emphasis on the last word and reminding Chanyeol of his past mistakes. He felt anger rising in him. He didn’t want to disappoint the elder again. 

 

"I know but it’s just…"

 

He couldn’t even finish his sentence, he had no excuse. Junmyeon had always been strict and straight to the point, he knew Chanyeol was still thinking about Light and Chanyeol had no excuse. There was nothing he could say even if he did think that there were enough reasons for him to still think about the assassin so much. However, Junmyeon didn’t know it. He didn’t know about the texts, the kisses, and the memories. He didn’t know but maybe Chanyeol should tell him. He wouldn’t be able to get out of this alone, confusion had locked him in a cage and the only key to open it was answers that he couldn’t find. 

 

He looked at Jongdae, the man was sprawled on his seat, playing with the lighter that was constantly in his hand as his gaze shifted between Junmyeon and Chanyeol in an odd mix of amusement and disinterest that he was the only one able to pull off. He was a bit crazy sometimes but never had he betrayed any of them. His gaze then shifted to Junmyeon who was patiently waiting for him to say something or finish his sentence, eyebrows pulled into a concerned frown as he studied Chanyeol. He had always helped the latter, for years, and Chanyeol had never hidden anything from the only person who was the closest thing he had to an older brother, maybe a paternal figure. Hiding things from Junmyeon was never something he’d want to do.

 

"It’s just what?" Junmyeon urged him.

 

"I don’t know, I’m not sure what his intentions are. He tried contacting me several times," he finally said after a few more seconds of silence. That seemed to spike Junmyeon’s interest.

 

"He contacted you? For what? What did he say?"

 

"He… I don’t know, for random things," he settled on saying, not knowing why those words had escaped his mouth on their own. He was supposed not to hide anything for Junmyeon anymore. However, maybe it would be better to figure the memories out before telling him about them. "He just sends me annoying texts sometimes, to try and anger me probably."

 

"Make Jongin track the number he uses."

 

"I already did and he said it was impossible to do so, it leads to a different number each time he tries tracking it," he sighed.

 

"That’s odd. He must be a good hacker too then," Jongdae commented, sounding serious for the first time ever since Chanyeol entered the room.

 

"Jongin said so too, either he’s a good hacker himself or he’s helped by one," he replied, looking at Junmyeon who fell silent and simply drummed his fingers against the desk again, seemingly deep in thoughts.

 

"What does he look like?" Jongdae asked suddenly.

 

"Who?" 

 

"Light bulb," he shrugged, amused by his own words. "You’re the only one who has seen him and I’m really curious about what he looks like."

 

Chanyeol thought about the question for a few seconds, the face that has been haunting his mind for weeks reappearing in his head again. "He’s pretty short, maybe around the same height as you. He has dark hair, droopy eyes, and a mole right above his lips," Chanyeol said before he could stop himself and as he caught the interested and amused raise of one of Jongdae’s eyebrows, he knew the man had caught on it. "He’s nothing special honestly," he added to convince the other, or maybe to convince himself.

 

He prepared himself for suggestive comments when Jongdae parted his lips only to look at his boss when the latter heaved out an irritated sigh. Chanyeol supposed that he had not liked hearing all of this and it was written all over his features, the frown on his eyebrows and the small flames dancing in his dark eyes.

 

"Jongdae," he suddenly called out, voice low and radiating an authority that no one could match in Chanyeol’s mind. "Find that guy and kill him."

 

"What?!" Chanyeol let out in surprise before catching himself when the elder raised a brow. "I mean, why would Jongdae hyung kill him?"

 

"Because I’ve been asking you to kill him for days and there is no progress. That guy is messing with your head and I’m not going to let that happen any longer. It affects your work and you know I hate that. If someone is ruining your reputation, Chanyeol, it’s yourself. I didn’t think you were weak enough to let a random kid put you in that state," he explained harshly, tone flat and dry as each words slapped Chanyeol one after the other. He knew all of that. He knew it. And he hated hearing it. He hated being called _weak_. He was not weak. "Jongdae might do a better job that you."

 

"Information received, boss," Jongdae replied cheekily, not even caring about whatever was being said. The scene unfolding in front of his eyes was probably too amusing for him to even care about his new mission.

 

However, that was far from being the case for Chanyeol. 

 

"I can’t accept that," he said, voice low.

 

"What?" Junmyeon replied, obviously surprised by Chanyeol’s protest. He never protested to anything.

 

It was different this time though, he could not accept the fact that someone else was going to chase after Baekhyun, hunt him down, and finish him off. He would not allow that to happen. He had wasted so much time thinking about the assassin, about the link between them, and there was no way he would let anyone else kill him. Chanyeol would be the one to do it, if the occasion presented itself. Would Chanyeol be able to do it though? Would he be able to take his life away when just this morning, he had dreamed about sacrificing himself and taking a harsh beating for a small kid carrying the name Baekhyun. Because Chanyeol had not wanted him to be hurt. It was confusing, he could not tell whether it was a memory or a simple dream his mind had fabricated but he knew that no one else could chase after Light besides him.

 

"I’ll do it," he announced, determined as he looked straight into Junmyeon’s eyes.

 

"You had days to do it and nothing happened."

 

"It’s my duty. He’s my rival. It’s me he’s playing with and I’m the one who should end him, no one else."

 

Junmyeon sighed, relaxing a bit. "Are you sure you’ll be able to do it?" He always gave up so quickly when it was about Chanyeol and the latter was aware of it.

 

"I will, boss. I’ll do it next time I encounter him," he nodded, holding Junmyeon’s gaze in an attempt to convince him.

 

A few seconds of silent staring ensued before Junmyeon leaned back against his seat and waved him off with a faint movement of his hand. "Alright. It’s your last chance, I won’t tolerate yet another mistake, Chanyeol. I don’t have time to waste on that guy’s childish games."

 

Relief immediately flooded into Chanyeol and he relaxed a little bit as fell, features morphing back into their usual blank expression. He would do it. He would really do it this time. He could end Baekhyun. _Light._ He was no one, nothing but a mere nuisance. He would not disappoint Junmyeon again.

 

"I think you should at least fuck him if you can’t manage to kill him, it might be a good way to get him out of your system."

 

That single sentence was enough to dissipate the tension that had been hanging heavily in the air and Chanyeol turned to Jongdae, snorting when he saw the mischievous curl of his lips. 

 

"Keep your own dirty methods to yourself," he replied, tone playful.

 

The only thing he needed to do was get answers. Once he’d get them, he’ll be able to finish the other assassin off. Because that was the right thing to do, what was expected of him. He would not disappoint anyone again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thinking back on it that evening, Chanyeol didn’t even know whether convincing Junmyeon to let him be the one to kill Light had been a good decision or not. He was so sure of himself after getting the other’s approval but now that he was home alone, sprawled on the couch, the television on as he tried paying attention to whatever was going on in the random movie he had found on a random channel, Chanyeol couldn’t say that he had the same confidence anymore. It had been easy when Junmyeon was there looking at him in disappointment as he reminded him of his nature, of his job, but now that he was left alone with his own thoughts, he was not so sure anymore. 

 

That always happened and he had reached a point where he could tell on his own that Baekhyun or Light or whatever his name was had messed up his head too much. A single sentence had been enough for the other to trigger things Chanyeol didn’t even know laid down deep inside him and that was far from being something he appreciated. It was something he was ashamed of and Junmyeon’s words still rang loudly in his head. _I didn’t think you were weak enough to let a random kid put you in that state,_ the elder had said. He had never heard anything similar from Junmyeon and it didn’t feel nice at all. Everyone was disappointed in him for such a trivial matter. It was nothing, it was just a wicked smile, good fighting skills, soft lips, and a dark gaze. It was nothing. Nothing but memories he couldn’t understand. No matter how much he craved to understand what was going on.

 

Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t worth disappointing people he had considered as his family for most of his life.

 

He had not spoken to Jongin again after their mission together, he felt too bad to even consider contacting him and it looked like Jongin was upset as well since he had not tried contacting Chanyeol either. Or maybe he just knew Chanyeol was not ready to face him yet, that was more likely as Jongin knew him better than anyone else. Maybe it was time to man up and do something right for the first time in a long time. He reached for the phone that was resting beside him on the couch, unlocking the device before finding his best friend on his list of contacts and pressing on the screen to give him a call. Hopefully, he would pick up.

 

"Hello?" he heard after a few seconds, relieved that Jongin had a least chosen to pick up the call and not leave him hanging. 

 

"Jongin, it’s me," he said after taking a deep breath. He felt bad, so bad for putting his friend in danger. 

"I know, your name is on the screen when you call."

 

Maybe Jongin not picking up would have been better, Chanyeol thought. He still sounded upset.

 

"Listen," he sighed, running a hand through his hair and messing up his dark strands more than they already were. "I’m really sorry for what happened the other day. I never wanted to put you in danger, you know it. I just… I just got caught up in my thoughts but it’s not going to happen again, I promise. I won’t let the same thing happen again, it’s too dangerous."

 

A few silent seconds passed and really had it been someone else, Chanyeol wouldn’t even have cared and judged it an exaggerated reaction instead but this was Jongin, his best friend, the boy he grew up with and the only one willing to listen to Chanyeol’s worries and his whining whenever his training was too harsh years ago and he felt that he couldn’t take it anymore.

 

A sigh reached his ears from the other side and he sank his teeth into his lower lip, distressed as he listened to Jongin’s next words. "Listen, Chanyeol. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, I know it was not your intention and you regret it. That’s not even what I’m upset about, nothing happening to me so lingering on that is useless."

 

"Then, what’s the problem?" Chanyeol asked softly.

 

"I’m just worried about you, idiot. This issue is getting too important for you when it’s literally nothing you need to think about so much," the other explained and Chanyeol was relieved that at least, he sounded less upset now and more worried. 

 

"You don’t understand, Jongin," he mumbled because it was true, no one understood him. No one knew what it really was about and Chanyeol was so stupid for not having the will to share it with someone even if he knew that would be the best thing to do.

 

"Then explain to me so I can understand, Chanyeol."

 

"I talked to Junmyeon hyung about it," he replied instead.

 

"About what happened that day?"

 

"No, I don’t think he’d even want to see my face anymore if I explained to him what happened," he chuckled, the sound shallow.

 

"That’s not true. You know he has a soft spot for you, you bastard," Jongin chuckled, more sincerely.

 

"I guess you’re right," he replied with a faint cheekiness, his heart was not at it. "Thank you for not telling him, by the way," he continued genuinely.

 

"No problem, I didn’t want to worsen things for you. What did you talk to him about?"

 

"The texts I talked to you about. They were from Light," he confessed hesitantly.

 

"I figured that out, I know you," Jongin said, not sounding upset to Chanyeol’s relief. "What did he say?"

 

"He gave me one last chance to kill Light, it would be the best thing to do. Business-wise and for me, personally, too," he said, trying to sound blank.

 

"Will you be able to do it?" 

 

"Killing people is what I do, Jongin. Of course, I will," he chuckled, hoping he sounded convinced enough. No, he was convinced of it himself. He would do it. After getting answers.

 

"I hope so, Chanyeol," Jongin sighed and Chanyeol knew he was not convinced but he didn’t have the will to argue with him about it. "Hey, I bought a new game yesterday. Wanna comma over tomorrow to try it together?" Jongin then asked, as if nothing had happened, turning the situation back to a normal one, which Chanyeol was grateful for.

 

"Of course, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll bring chicken," he grinned, knowing that Jongin would completely forgive him after hearing that.

 

"Perfect, you better not be late. See you tomorrow."

 

"See you tomorrow," he replied back before hanging up and leaning back against the couch again. He took a deep breath, letting it out in a long relieved sigh as he felt one of the burdens weighing down on his shoulders slowly dissipating. At least, that was fixed. 

 

His gaze remained on the screen of the phone and was drawn by the icon of the messaging app. As if one its own accord, his thumb moved to press on it, sliding over the screen until he found the conversation exchanged with an unknown number. He read over the last message Baekhyun had sent him. He was craving for answers, he needed them, and if it had to come down to that, he’d force them out of the other’s mouth. If he managed to find him first.

 

Without giving it a second thought, he typed a quick text to the other, asking to meet. It was probably a weak thing to do, nothing told him the other would actually reply to him or even meet with him but right now, it was the only thing Chanyeol could do. There was no way for him to find the other on his own, not when there was no clue as to where he was hiding and why.

 

Fortunately, the reply came only a few minutes later.

 

 **From:** Unknown

_"Find me."_

 

Those two words were the only reply the other had granted him and Chanyeol gritted his teeth, disappointment and anger surging through his veins. He really hated this game, he wasn’t willing to be part of it but did he really have a choice? Closing his eyes to everything that had happened until now was not an option, his mind wouldn’t allow him to do so.

 

However, before he could throw himself into darker thoughts, his phone vibrated again in his hand and a second text was sent to him, by the same number but this time containing an address. Chanyeol couldn’t believe it, he read over the text three more times. Finally, Baekhyun was willing to cooperate. Was he really? This couldn’t be a trap, right? He was experienced enough to now not to trust everyone and just throw himself to the location given to him without seconds thoughts but this was different, this was not a work related subject, this was personal. This was something that had been nudging his mind for almost a whole month now.

 

The address wasn’t one familiar to him, he actually had no idea where it was but he didn’t even bother checking, he figured he’d see once he’d be there, and instead, he got up, grabbing a jacket and his car keys before heading towards the front door. He finally had an opportunity to solve every mystery surrounding Light and he would make good use of it, no matter how the night might end. Even if he had to take the assassin’s life at the end of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took around twenty minutes to reach the place he was supposed to find Baekhyun at, it was a bit in the outskirts of the city, in a place barely lighted up by streetlights that no one probably ever hung around. He wasn’t even sure whether he was still in Seoul anymore, he had not paid enough attention. Seated in his car, Chanyeol observed the warehouse standing in front of him. It was obviously abandoned, he wondered if anyone was even aware of its existence anymore. It was dark outside, but Chanyeol could see that it was old and looked as if it could crumble down at any moment despite its strong built. It was far from everything, far form the bustling of the city and the attention you’d be given there. There was no one around but he could see that the inside of the building was lighted up through the broken windows, it meant that someone was there, waiting for him. 

 

It was the perfect place to set up a trap in, no one would hear anything, no one would even know if you committed a murder right there, no matter how hard the victim could be screaming. And yet, Chanyeol didn’t feel threatened one bit by the situation. Maybe it was because of the will and the despair he felt, he _needed_ to lighten up the situation and get answers.

 

Without wasting another second, the sniper got out of his car, patting his hip to make sure that his gun was well concealed by his clothes before advancing towards the wide entrance. He was not reckless enough to throw himself in a potential trap without any protection or means to fight back if needed. The sound of the wind accompanied him until he stood right in front of the building, whispering into his ears as if in an attempt to prevent him from going inside, the rustling of the leaves hanging on the trees around, seeped into his mind as well. 

 

However, Chanyeol didn’t pay attention to any of it, he ignored the croaking of the crows and everything else. He simply advanced towards the closed door confidently, hand reaching to pull the doorknob down. It didn’t work at first, he thought that the warehouse was locked and maybe this had really been a trap but after a few other failed attempts at pulling the knob down, he tried pushing it up a bit at first before pulling it down again. He heard a click before pulling the door open and listening to its hinges complain.

 

He opened it wide and stood still for a few seconds, eyes taking in the view that the doors had been hiding. The lights were flickering every few seconds, playing with Chanyeol’s sight and making him unable to actually see everything since even when they were lighting up the room, it was done weakly, a certain dimness remaining even then. The constant flickering of the lights could give him a headache, the continuous clicking eating his ears away irritatingly. From what he could see, the place was messy, it looked like no one had set a foot in it in a really long time, he could feel particles of dust flying around and bumping against his skin, moonlight outlining them when the light flickered off. There were boxes everywhere, some of them open, some of them closed, pilled up or sprawled around messily, shelves were standing tall, boxes on them, papers, or other things Chanyeol could not identify without a closer look. They were made of metal and put around messily as well, giving the room somewhat of a semblance to an abandoned maze.

 

At first sight, there was nothing dangerous, Chanyeol didn’t feel that way at least so he stepped forwards, letting go of the door to wander into the warehouse instead. He was alert, gaze traveling around him without any rest in case danger would be spotted, but he advanced forward confidently, sliding in between the pile of boxes and the tall shelves without any hesitation as his feet took him to the right side of the wide room.

 

He stopped in his tracks when his gaze fell on what seemed to be an old mattress on the floor, pushed against the wall. It was dirty, ripped in some places, and Chanyeol thought that it must have been there for years, maybe belonging to a homeless person who had been living here before leaving or even dying.

"Finally you managed to find me, Chanyeol-ah," a voice sounded behind him, the appellation familiar, he had heard it in his dreams through a more childish voice. As he turned around, his gaze fell on the person he had been crazily looking for for days. "I guess I have to thank myself for outright giving you a small hint or else you would have lost again. You suck at playing hide and seek as much as you suck at playing tag," Baekhyun continued, an usual amused smirk hanging on his lips. The flickering lights and the shadows falling on the other’s face somehow darkened it.

 

"I’ve already told you many times that I didn’t want to play those childish games with you," Chanyeol frowned, his stance defensive as he faced the shorter and observed him. Moonlight highlighted his soft features and he looked as beautiful as the last time Chanyeol had seen him. Chanyeol hated himself for even noticing that.

 

"And yet, here you are. Still playing with me," the other commented, voice laced with confidence as he took two steps towards Chanyeol, slowly, and oddly reminding Chanyeol of a feline who was getting ready to sink its teeth into a prey’s neck.

 

"Between the two of us, you’re the one playing with me. Not the other way around," the taller accused, studying each of the other’s movements as he stood still.

 

"I’m not playing with you, Chanyeol-ah. Everything I say and do is sincere."

 

That casual way of pronouncing his name again. It sounded so wrong and so right at the same time, eating Chanyeol’s insides. "I doubt that. Why are we here?" he then asked, doing his best not to let the other drift his mind away from what he wanted to focus on, like he always did. This was the occasion he had been waiting for, he would get answers today. He would end things today.

 

"You’re the one who wanted to meet, I should be the one to ask that to you," the other shrugged, taking another step closer to Chanyeol. The lights flickered off for a few seconds, drowning the wide room in darkness and letting moonlight dance around for a while. However, it seemed that the moon simply wanted to focus on the shorter instead, its rays seemed to be attracted by the other’s face, shining upon his pale skin, gathering in his sparkly eyes, caressing his soft-looking dark strands and softening his beautiful features. Droopy familiar eyes. The last time Chanyeol had seen them was in his dreams when he was nothing but a weak child taking care of another child. Now, Baekhyun looked ethereal. Maybe he was a dream Chanyeol would never be able to grasp.

 

It seemed that the other was aware of how much Chanyeol was staring at him and he visibly basked in the attention, his gaze drowning in Chanyeol’s as the latter discerned the amused glint in his dark orbs, shining right beside a sparkle that he still could not identify. His smirk grew wider and he inched closer to Chanyeol. He knew what the other was trying to do, Chanyeol knew that the distance between them would only keep shortening and yet, he made no move to step back.

 

"I have questions to ask to you and you will reply to me this time," the taller demanded, watching as the other tilted his head and let out a soft chuckle, the sound as clear as the light provided by the moon before the lights flickered on again and shadows danced on Baekhyun’s face instead.

 

"I’ll reply if they’re interesting."

 

"What are your intentions? Why are you playing with me?"

 

"You’re amusing," he replied, now standing right in front of Chanyeol and looking up at him. Chanyeol should step back, he already knew this was useless, he knew the only way would be to beat the replies out of the other. But he couldn’t move. Something always drew him to the other assassin and he didn’t know what it was, but it was stronger than him.

 

"Why did you send me those texts?" was his next question and he asked it as his gaze traveled over the other’s beautiful and familiar features.

Chanyeol almost wanted to laugh at himself. Only a few hours ago, he had told Junmyeon that he would kill Light at the first occasion that presented itself to him. The other was standing in front of him right now, looking up at him while standing still, completely at Chanyeol’s mercy, and yet, not even a tiny part of him could think about drawing his gun out and shooting him. He hated it, it angered him, but as his eyes lost themselves’ in the other’s droopy ones, he couldn’t feel anything other than confusion and the need to understand. He didn’t know when the rage he felt towards Light on the first day had faded but it did and he wasn’t sure how to bring it back.

 

"I guess I had no other friend to text," Baekhyun finally replied, shrugging. It was unnerving but before Chanyeol had the occasion to protest to those useless replies, the shorter spoke again. "Why are you here, Chanyeol?"

 

It threw him off. "You asked me to come, why the hell do you think I’m here?" he groaned.

 

"So you’d go anywhere a random stranger would call you?" he snorted.

 

"You’re not a stranger," he frowned, because the other was right. This was not his usual behavior.

 

"Am I not?" he asked as the lights flickered on and off again.

 

"You don’t feel like one. You’re not one and you know it," Chanyeol replied softly, tiredly.

 

"Really?" was the small word that left Baekhyun’s lips with a breath of what Chanyeol thought could be hopefulness. Why would he feel hopeful? "You still shouldn’t trust everyone, Chanyeol-ah."

 

Those words were uttered darkly, smirk wiped off the other’s face as he looked up at Chanyeol, more serious than the latter had ever seen him be. However, the only thing that caught the taller’s attention was the way he called his name for the third time that night.

 

"Do we know each other?" he finally asked after a few seconds of silently staring at Baekhyun. It might be a stupid question, considering the fact that CHanyeol already called the other ‘Baekhyun’ in his head but he needed confirmation.

 

"Well, we’re talking to each other right now so I guess that means we know each other."

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath. The way the other assassin was avoiding each of his questions was starting to enrage him. "I mean, from before. Did we know each other in the past?"

 

Silence was the only reply given to him and he watched shadows dance on Baekhyun’s face. 

 

"What did you ask me to remember?" he asked yet another question, this time more desperately. He needed answers. It was driving him crazy. He was confused and the way the other stared at him only worsened everything, Baekhyun looked at him expectantly, as if he was waiting for something to happen. He was looking at Chanyeol in a way no one else had looked at him before.

"Why aren’t you replying to my questions?" he finally snapped, voice low and quiet but still carrying anger and confusion. He felt like he would burst their bubble if he spoke any louder.

 

"I told you I’d reply only if your questions are interesting," the other shrugged, chuckling quietly. Chanyeol had not noticed it but they were even closer now, close enough for him to feel a rush of air tickle his skin when the other chuckled. He thought for a few seconds. He had to ask the right questions, that was what the other meant but Chanyeol had no idea what he wanted him to ask. He looked at him, the lights were still dancing around them, disappearing and reappearing from time to time. _Light._

 

"Why are you calling yourself ‘Light’?" he finally asked, voice hushed. His heart suddenly started beating faster in his ribcage, without any reason, as he looked at the shorter, waiting for a reply. That question was important and judging by Baekhyun’s silence and the way he looked up at Chanyeol, he thought that way too. It was silent around them, the dim lights flickered and oddly, it created something akin to an intimate atmosphere. It was just the two of them, no one else.

 

"Because you can’t survive at night without light," he finally replied after a few seconds, gaze still boring into Chanyeol’s. 

 

And those words were the same ones uttered by himself, as a child in the first memory that the other had triggered out of him. It was the exact words he remembered using with a more childish voice which meant that the memory was real. There was no way Baekhyun could have said the same exact thing if he had not heard Chanyeol say it first on that day. It meant Light really was the Baekhyun in his memories.

 

"So it was real," he couldn’t help but mumble, words escaping his lips as he looked away from Baekhyun for a second, processing everything. Was it enough for him to really know though? "Is your real name Baekhyun?" he asked, letting his gaze rest on the other’s face once again. He did not expect the sudden sadness that he found in the other’s eyes and he could not look away, finding himself locked in those dark orbs that seemed to hide so many things Chanyeol needed to know about. He saw the way the shorter parted his lips to let out a shaky breath and this was the first time he ever saw him shaken up. It was so different from his usual confident and mocking demeanor. It felt odd. It felt like Baekhyun was not supposed to be this way.

 

A few silent seconds passed, Chanyeol looked for the answers the other wouldn’t give him in his eyes but he couldn’t see anything but a huge flame of sadness flickering in his dark orbs. It was not supposed to be there, he didn’t know why, but it shouldn’t be there. 

 

Then, as he was still waiting for a reply, a confirmation about the shorter’s identity, the other continued to remain silent, not helping one bit in taming the wild beating of Chanyeol’s heart. Instead, Chanyeol was left to watch as Baekhyun lifted his hand slowly before cupping his cheek. He was sure of it now, the man standing in front of him was the kid in his memories. His hand was warm and soft against Chanyeol’s skin and the latter stood still, wide eyes trailing over the shorter’s features in confusion. A month ago, this person had stabbed him, he had fought with this assassin who claimed to be better than him, but now, Chanyeol was letting him cup his cheek while staring into his eyes. It was wrong and he was aware of it but something in him told him that it was _not_ wrong.

 

Unconsciously, he leaned closer to the other, silence shrouding them like a blanket and hiding them away from Chanyeol’s thoughts as each of them screamed at him to finish this off. However, how could he? This was the child he had protected in his memories, he didn’t know why, he didn’t know from what, but he believed that he had done it because it had been right at that time. His eyes dropped to Baekhyun’s lips, the mole right above them, the pink flesh offered to his eyes, and the sad curl of his couplets. He barely registered them moving until Baekhyun’s voice actually reached his ears.

 

"I missed you, Chanyeol-ah," he whispered softly, causing a shiver to run down Chanyeol’s spine. That was all he needed to know that this person was indeed the Baekhyun from his past, the one that had been haunting his every thoughts and even his dreams. The emotion in his voice was so raw, it was flowing from those four simple words, and Chanyeol didn’t know how to react. It was hard to believe that he had been in a fight with the same person merely a month ago.

 

"Baekhyun," was the only thing he was able to reply, the name coming off in a breath, rolling on his tongue so easily, as if it was not only the second time he had said it out loud. How many times did he actually call the other by his real name in the past? It was still so confusing but as Baekhyun’s thumb gently caressed the apple of his cheek, Chanyeol didn’t mind the confusion for the first time. He could only focus on the warmth of his hand.

 

Soon, without Chanyeol even noticing, the same lips he had been staring at for long seconds were once again pressed against his, for the third time, but this time, it was not a fleeting brush, it was not a pained touch either as his lips wasn’t busted like it had been when Baekhyun had first kissed him on their first encounter. This time, it was a real kiss and Chanyeol was surprised at how pliant he was being by allowing Baekhyun to kiss him when he still had so many things to ask. He pressed his lips harder against the other’s, yearning to feel their soft and cushiony texture better and tilted his head for a better angle, one hand cupping Baekhyun’s cheeks as his other arm wrapped around his waist to pull him flush against his own body.

 

This kiss was so different from the last ones they had shared, Chanyeol wouldn’t even be able to call them kisses whereas this one was _real._ Their lips moved together, in synch, tasting each other and marking the feeling of each other into their mind. Baekhyun’s lips were so soft, so addicting as Chanyeol trapped the smaller’s lower lip between his, sucking on his flesh before sinking his teeth into it as he nipped on it softly, savoring as he felt it slowly grow swollen with his ministrations. Baekhyun returned it as both of his arms were now wrapped around the taller’s neck, his whole body against Chanyeol who took in his warmth. 

 

He had come here with the decision of killing the other after getting the answers he was looking for but not only did none of those two things happen, but he was kissing Baekhyun instead, his rival, someone he had considered as an enemy until this very day. However, he had no time to waste on such thoughts, he was too busy swiping his tongue over the other’s lower lip as if to apologize for the harsh treatment his teeth had given it mere seconds ago. Baekhyun parted his lips in reply, granting Chanyeol the access to his warm cavern and the latter wasted no time in exploring it, slipping his tongue inside and chasing for Baekhyun’s. He explored every inch of Baekhyun’s mouth, as if to make sure it was real, before his tongue finally found its twin and wrapped around it, as if embracing a long lost lover, and engaged in a passionate yet slow dance. 

 

However, it didn’t remain slow for long when he felt Baekhyun let out a barely audible whimper against his lips when Chanyeol nibbled on his lower one again. It was as if something had unleashed in him, triggered by that small sound that the taller didn’t even know he craved hearing, and things took an even more surprising turn right after that moment. The kiss grew a tad more aggressive and Chanyeol maybe couldn’t help it, he had never been a gentle man and that wouldn’t change even in this kind of situation. 

 

Maybe it was simply a result of the bottled up rage he felt for Baekhyun since the very first day they had met, maybe it had to be expected considering the heavy tension that always hung between them on each of their encounters. Chanyeol shouldn’t even be surprised, he had noted so many times that Baekhyun was painfully attractive and he had craved for more than a simple brush of their lips several times as well. Therefore, he shouldn’t be surprised when his lips traveled on the shorter’s jaw, trailing kisses and laying sparkles of fire on his skin as he traveled down to his neck. Chanyeol’s hand gripped the other’s waist when he caught a whiff of his sweet scent, it oddly smelled like _comfort_ and that was such an odd thing to say but there was no other word for the taller to describe Baekhyun’s scent. He supposed that he had more important things to question anyway. 

 

His lips devoured the other’s warm skin, teeth dragging against the soft texture before he sucked on it, only fueled by the tight grip Baekhyun had on his hair. "Chanyeol," he heard, his name stretched out in a soft moan, the melody singing into Chanyeol’s ears and unlocking something in him, something that now pushed him to swirl Baekhyun around in a quick movement, his lips once again latching on the shorter’s as he pushed him until the latter’s feet tripped on the mattress that was laying on the floor and he fell down on it, dragging Chanyeol with him.

 

The taller hovered over the other assassin, taking a few seconds to observe the view Baekhyun offered to him, his parted, swollen lips, the mole above them, his flushed cheeks that he could see when the lights flickered on again, his unblemished skin, and those beautifully dark orbs that hid stories Chanyeol yearned to listen to. It was odd to see the shorter offering himself to him so easily, as if he was not the one who had won against Chanyeol in a physical fight, as if he had not stabbed the taller on their first encounter. But it did not matter, at this moment, nothing else but the taste of Baekhyun’s skin against his lips mattered to Chanyeol and he did not waste another second before leaning down to steal another taste of Baekhyun’s lips, nibbling on his lower on, pulling it into his own mouth, and sucking on it as if it was covered in a nectar his life depended on.

 

He felt hands on his hair again as the shorter returned the kiss and soon, Chanyeol’s lips traveled down to his neck again, nibbling on the skin as his hands worked on undoing the buttons of Baekhyun’s shirt. However, his eagerness made him unable to fully concentrate on it and not wanting to waste another time, he simply gripped two side of the shirt and pulled until he could hear the satisfying sound of buttons popping off. He heard Baekhyun chuckle but didn’t pay attention to it, simply focusing on the skin offered to him, lips latching on it, teeth grazing over its smoothness harshly until he could trap one of his nipples between his lips, tongue and teeth teasing it until he felt the small bud grow erect in his mouth. 

 

Baekhyun was not completely pliant under him anymore, his hands were tugging on Chanyeol’s hair, traveling over his back and pulling him closer before he tugged on the hem of his shirt, silently demanding the other to take it off. The taller complied, throwing his jacket and shirt aside and shivering when the cold air hit hit skin. However, it did not matter, his skin burnt in every spot Baekhyun’s made contact with. 

 

Everything happened too quickly after that, their movements were harsh, hurried, and impatient, despite the dirty mattress on the floor of an abandoned warehouse not being the most sanitary place Chanyeol had ever found himself in. It did not matter though, his lips still explored every inch of Baekhyun’s chest, giving the same hard treatment to his other nipple as he marked in his mind the breathy moans that fell from Baekhyun’s lips. He was not gentle, biting and sucking on the other’s skin mercilessly but Chanyeol couldn’t find it in himself to be gentle with the person who had messed with his head for so long, he figured that Baekhyun deserved it.

 

He did not particularly pay attention to it, he still felt angry and confused, he still had not gotten the answers he had wanted but he would get them later.

 

His hands fumbled with the button of Baekhyun’s jeans and he pulled the zipper down before tugging the piece of clothing and his underwear down his legs, not minding the pain that the drag of the fabric could cause to Baekhyun’s skin. The lights flickered off, letting moonlight dance on their forms and Chanyeol admired the way it shone on Baekhyun, highlighting his features and the thick curtain of lust that was laid over them. His chest heaved up and down the same way as Chanyeol’s did and he knew that he could simply stare at the ethereal being that Baekhyun was for hours but he had no time for that, he had to satiate the beast that was in him. 

 

His lips landed on the shorter’s abdomen, he peppered kisses and bites over it, pushing away the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt and jacket that he had not even taken off yet, and traveled down, down until his lips started nibbling on his hipbone, one of his hands resting on his thigh before his fingers started dancing up his skin on the melody of Baekhyun’s moans and whimpers. He parted the shorter’s legs, hands resting on his warm skin, thumb gently rubbing on the smooth texture before his lips could not resist furthermore and latched on the warmth of his inner thigh.

 

Baekhyun’s skin was so smooth, he had seen scars similar to his own ones on his chest when the lights were on earlier, but his skin was still so soft, milky, and addicting. It was a canvas bared to Chanyeol and he was no artist but he craved to paint it with the color of the fire that was still burning strongly in the pit of his stomach. Therefore, he sucked on a patch of skin on his inner thigh, teeth and tongue helping until a red mark blossomed on the other’s skin and he pulled away to the a look at it. Chanyeol was not the kind of person who’d mark every sexual partner, he didn’t really see the pleasure in marking someone who did not belong to you, but _this_ was different. He didn’t know how, he didn’t know why, but he knew that the temptation had been too strong for him to win over it. Glancing up at Baekhyun to take in his enticing expression, he figured that the other certainly did not mind.

 

Baekhyun had been staring at him all this while, Chanyeol had felt his gaze burning on his features and it was the first time someone stared at him so much in this kind of situation. Even now, his gaze was trapped in the shorter assassin’s and he was pulled in. There was something deep in those dark orbs, an emotion Chanyeol could not identify. A few seconds passed, the silence only disturbed by their raspy breath, and Chanyeol took that moment to calm himself down after all the hurry he had found himself in ever since Baekhyun kissed him a few minutes ago. He stared back at the other, trying to decipher his expression, and parted his lips. He had to say something. However what was he supposed to say?

 

"I don’t have lube," he simply said and there was so many things to say but really, there was nothing Chanyeol was willing to say at this moment. There was nothing he wanted to focus on.

 

"Well," the other chuckled breathlessly. "This was not what I had in mind when I asked you to come here. I guess you’re the impatient kind," was the other’s reply, playful, confident. Chanyeol frowned, it somehow ticked him off. If he was reacting this way, it was only Baekhyun’s fault. However, the other spoke again before he could say anything. "But since I like to be ready for any kind of situation I have some with me. In my pocket."

 

Oddly not even surprised by those words and slightly relieved even, Chanyeol sat up, hovering over the other and watching as his lips curved into _that_ smirk again. Usually, Chanyeol wanted to rip it off his face but this time, he simply settled on kissing it off, nibbling on his lower lip and sliding his tongue into the other’s mouth to play with his. His fingers traveled up along his thigh, abdomen, chest, and neck until he could cup Baekhyun’s cheeks again and once Chanyeol broke the kiss off, his gaze was sucked in by the red skin of the other’s lower lip for a few seconds. 

 

However, as soon as he saw those same beautifully carved lips pulling into the same amused smile as usual, he let his gaze drift away again and he reached for the discarded pair of jeans that had come off Baekhyun’s legs earlier and he tried his luck at looking in its pockets since Baekhyun didn’t seem to plan on helping him any further about finding the lube. On the contrary, he was simply watching Chanyeol with that same infuriatingly attractive smile, probably enjoying the way Chanyeol’s fingers fumbled urgently until he found something inside the pocket and relief filled him up when he pulled out a small bottle of lube. 

 

Without wasting more time, he pulled the lid open and squirted some of the clear product into his hand, discarding the bottle aside to coat his fingers with the product properly and parting Baekhyun’s legs further afterwards, guiding his digits against his entrance afterwards. He heard the shorter’s breath hitch as he gently circled his entrance with his lube-coated finger before he pushed the digit in carefully. He was still not gentle enough as he deemed the other deserving of such a harsh treatment, but he still did not want to hurt him that much so he made sure to prepare him well, lips playing with the skin of his thighs as he added another finger after a while and crooked them up, thrusting them in and out as he drunk in the moans that tickled his ears and the lust dripping from Baekhyun’s features. 

 

Once he deemed it enough, he pulled his fingers out and moved to properly settle between his parted legs while his hand grabbed the lube and he coated his cock with some of the product, fingers wrapped around his own shaft as he guided it closer to the other’s entrance, pressing the tip in and only allowing it to rest against the puckered skin for a few seconds as he looked at Baekhyun. They didn’t have a condom and Chanyeol was never this reckless when it came to sexual intercourses but there was just something about Baekhyun that made him do things he never would do. That simple thought was enough to light up a small flame of anger in him again and without any sort of warning, he pushed in, thrusting into the other in one move until he was buried in up to the hilt. The loud moan that reached his ears was probably one of both pain and pleasure and Baekhyun’s face scrunched up, eyebrows furrowing. Chanyeol did not feel bad at all, on the contrary, he felt something akin to satisfaction. He deserved at least a little bit of pain.

 

"Fuck, you could have at least given me a warning," the other said through gritted teeth after a few seconds as Chanyeol decided to give him a bit of time to adjust to his size. He was being too considerate.

 

"You could have at least given me a warning before stabbing me too, you asshole," he snorted, hands settling on Baekhyun’s waist as he struggled not to give in and thrust into him.

 

"Ohh so that’s what it is," the other replied, words breathy as an amused smile spread over his lips once again. "You’re still upset over the fact that you lost against me, I under-"

 

Chanyeol did not give him the occasion to finish, pulling back before snapping his hips forward to thrust into him again with a harsh and strong movement, a long moan replacing Baekhyun’s last word. At least it shut him up, Chanyeol thought in victory. 

 

That was the beginning of long minutes of pleasure, their bodies moving in synch as Chanyeol thrusted into Baekhyun with all he had, movements harsh and merciless. None of them minded it though, Baekhyun blessed Chanyeol with a symphony of moans and whispered curses, pulling the taller closer to him as he wrapped his legs around his waist, chests grazing against each other. Chanyeol could feel his nails scratching his back in long lines, the sting only fueling the lust as his own finger dug into the shorter’s hips, leaving marks on his skin. Baekhyun wrapped around Chanyeol perfectly, his flesh warm around the taller’s skin, and he sucked him in in an addicting way, Chanyeol never pulled out too much before snapping his hips forward again, setting a fast-paced rhythm. 

 

Their lips met from time to time, a bruising kiss connecting them and Chanyeol moaned as Baekhyun bit down on his lower lip, almost enough to draw blood. He returned it by biting on the junction between his neck and shoulder when his lips traveled down his skin a while later. Bruises would decorate their bodies when the storm would die down but Chanyeol didn’t mind, he was too lost in everything that Baekhyun was to care about it, the taste of his skin, the shadows that the flickering lights drew on his features, the sparkle in his eyes. He had not planned to get lost in pleasure with someone he was supposed to kill and he might regret it once it would all end but for now, nothing but the warmth pooling in his lower stomach mattered.

 

Soon, it all became too much, Baekhyun’s voice only got louder, his moans seeping into Chanyeol’s mind as the latter’s thrusts became uncoordinated. His hand traveled to Baekhyun’s untouched member and his long fingers wrapped around it, the shorter’s back arching beautifully when Chanyeol gave it a few pumps and it was all it took before Baekhyun reached his climax, staining his own chest along with Chanyeol’s. The latter’s hand continued moving on his shaft for a bit but soon, he could not pay attention to anything but the warmth around his cock, Baekhyun’s walls tightening around him and pleasantly torturing him. The snapping of his hips strengthened as he chased for his own feeling of bliss, Baekhyun whimpering from oversensitivity as Chanyeol soon reached his end too, exploding inside Baekhyun and tainting his walls with his blindingly white pleasure.

 

His thrusts gradually slowed down until he came to a complete halt and pulled out of Baekhyun, lips parting to take in as much air as possible. The lights were off again and the moon shone upon the smaller, bathing his form in light and rendering him more beautiful than he had ever been. His arms were wrapped around Chanyeol, lips curved into a smile and parted to let out puffs of air. Chanyeol collapsed on him after a few seconds, exhaustion and stress catching up on him. It had been weeks since he last managed to properly rest and he was _tired,_ everything had been so tiring and confusing but after what had just happened, Chanyeol could tell that he was relieved. He did not have proper answers but he was a bit closer to understanding the situation.

 

Before he knew it, his eyelids fell shut and he was lulled to a well-needed sleep, gentle fingers soothing him by running in his damp hair. It was nice, warm, and he was tired. He had so many things to ask, so many stories to learn about, but his body did not allow him to do so. He needed to sleep and he let himself fall into a deep slumber.

 

When he woke up no less than three hours later, the moon was still high in the sky, but the only thing that laid beside Chanyeol on the dirty and old mattress was a lone bracelet, its owner out of sight.


	6. Chapter Six

There had never been a lot of reasons why Chanyeol felt disappointed in his life. He was rather successful, he was good at a lot of things, most of them had to do with violence but that didn’t matter, he was the best assassin in the city, he was good at fighting with his bare hands, he was a coldblooded killer. The fact that he took so many people’s life did not really bother him, it was his job, it was what he was good at and he didn’t feel disappointment whenever it dawned upon him that he was an assassin, he wasn’t bothered by guilt or voices blaming him at night when he couldn’t sleep. It was his life and nothing ever actually went wrong for him, each of his kills was a success and the money he got out of it was useful. 

 

Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. He did feel a lot of disappointment lately and each time that feeling surged in his veins, each time other people felt disappointed in him, there was only one reason. Baekhyun had everything to do with each time he felt even a little disappointed.

 

However, the smaller assassin had never pushed Chanyeol to feel as disappointed as he had felt that night when he woke up alone on a dirty mattress in an abandoned warehouse. 

 

He didn’t know why he had even expected to wake up with Baekhyun in his arms, he should be used to the latter disappearing without Chanyeol even noticing but he had been stupid enough to believe this time would be different. It had been _different._ They hadn’t fought, argued, or hurt each other at all that night, contrary to what had happened in each of their previous encounters, Chanyeol always finding himself somehow wounded  every time he bumped into Baekhyun. On the contrary, what had happened that night only felt great, it had been unexpected and even now, Chanyeol found it odd how he managed to have sex with someone he had wanted to shot ever since the first time he had heard about him. He was still supposed to kill Baekhyun, he had told Junmyeon that he would be able to do it and yet, when the occasion had found Chanyeol, the latter had done anything but what he was supposed to do. 

 

He hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it though, not when Light was the Baekhyun of his memories, the kid Chanyeol seemed to have protected from anything and everything. According to his memories, he was even the one who had nicknamed Baekhyun ‘Light.’ All his rage had been sucked out of him and at that moment, kissing Baekhyun had been the only thing he had wanted to do, he had been yearning for it and Chanyeol had lost against his desires. Baekhyun always had that effect on him, he was used to it now, contrary to the way Baekhyun always disappeared. It oddly upset him, even if Baekhyun didn’t really have any reason to stay with Chanyeol after they had sex. That didn’t really mean anything, it was something that had happened in the spur of the moment and Chanyeol was still wondering if Baekhyun had taken things that far only to distract Chanyeol when the latter had been asking questions. It wouldn’t be the first time the other had tried distracting Chanyeol with this kind of method.

 

There was no reason for Chanyeol to still think about that night though. He trailed his gaze over his surroundings, looking for the person he was waiting for as the wind gently ruffled his dark hair, his body concealed by the shadow of his apartment building, streetlights not reaching the spot he was standing at, right between his car and the wall. Out of habit, his fingers slid up to his right wrist and he started fiddling with the narrow ropes of the bracelet he had been wearing since he found it on the dirty mattress a week ago, the only trace Baekhyun had been willing to leave him before disappearing. He glanced at it, taking in the braided black and white ropes as he felt the harsh fabric under his finger pads. He had observed it a lot after finding it and it confused Chanyeol a lot, it was obviously something cheap that you could find anywhere, there was nothing special about it, it was just black and white robes braided together. He had no idea why he chose to wear it, maybe he hoped that Baekhyun would come back to look for it.

 

Though, it looked like Baekhyun didn’t want to look for Chanyeol at all. The man had not entirely disappeared from Chanyeol’s life, the latter had heard about him only two days ago, when Junmyeon had went on an angry fit while announcing him that one of his clients had been once again snatched away by Light. It was confusing, Chanyeol couldn’t understand why Baekhyun would still do that when he already managed to catch his whole attention. Surprisingly, he had not felt angry, just surprised and confused, but that had not been the case for Junmyeon who immediately ordered Jongin to find a way to locate the said client who had always been one of their most loyal ones, a corrupted businessman. Chanyeol then had been told yesterday that he had to assist Minseok and interrogate the man about Light, ask him why he had canceled his request and gave it to Light instead, maybe even get some information about the assassin’s whereabouts and his identity. Chanyeol amazed even himself when he sat there, looking at a fuming Junmyeon who spat orders everywhere about finding Light while he still had memories of the smaller assassin writhing under him in pleasure. 

 

"Let’s go."

 

The voice coming from his right startled him but he did not show any reaction, turning to Minseok who looked as if he had been standing there for a few seconds already. Which wouldn’t even be surprising if it really was the case, the man was the most quiet assassin in Venom. That, on the other hand, could be surprising considering his methods when it came to getting rid of a target. 

 

"How do you manage to always be so quiet?" Chanyeol chuckled softly, pulling the sleeve of his black leather jacket down to conceal the bracelet.

 

"Experience," the other simply replied, one corner of his lips pulled up into a smirk that would probably look horrifying coupled with the constant glint of madness in his eyes and the shadows on his face, if Chanyeol hadn’t known him for almost ten years. 

 

The sniper simply shook his head in faint amusement before gesturing Minseok to get in the car and walking to get in the driver’s seat. They had a long night ahead of them and the earlier they’d be there, the faster they would be done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I’ll take some of them down and you take care of the rest, hyung," Chanyeol said, voice hushed as he spoke into the microphone attached to his earpiece as he followed Minseok’s shadow through his sniper riffle’s scope. 

 

 _"Alright,"_ he heard through the earplug and that was the only thing they needed to tell each other as they had planned this mission ahead of time.

 

The wind was stronger now that he was standing on the rooftop of a random building that was right across their target’s house. He did not pay attention the whistling of Nature however, one of his eyes squeezed shut as he followed Minseok with his other one, all of his senses focused on this mission. The mistake he had allowed himself to make with Jongin had not been reproduced and it wouldn’t be. This time, his job was not to simply watch and intervene in case of accidents, he had to clear the way for Minseok who’d get in the house and catch their former client who was currently reading a book on his bed, alone. Chanyeol had located him a few seconds ago and only then had he given Minseok the go. 

 

"There are three guards in front of the door, two of them are standing right in front of it and the third one is pacing a few feet away from the entrance. He’s heading towards the bushes on the right side of the garden," he muttered, knowing that Minseok would hear him through his own earpiece. "I’ll take two of them down and I guess you’d like to get rid of the third one as warm up."

 

 _"You know me so well,_ " he heard, the corners of his lips twitching up before he focused again on his two targets. One of them was talking to the other while the latter’s eyes raked up the wide garden that spread in front of the villa. He aimed properly, taking two seconds to do so before he pulled the trigger with confidence, the sound of the bullet muffled by the silencer attached to his weapon. He watched as the talkative guard’s now lifeless body crumbled to the ground, the second guard looking to his right in alarm, his hand coming up to touch his earpiece and his lips parting only for a trail of blood to flow down from his mouth when Chanyeol pulled the trigger a second time, the man forever silenced before he could alert the other guards that were probably around. "Cleared," he muttered into the tiny microphone.

 

He did not hear a reply from Minseok and he did not expect one, the man was always silent but he was even more silent when on a mission, and the sniper watched as a familiar shadow emerged from the bushes in the right a few seconds later before leading towards the front door. It might have been easier to get in from the back door or climb up to get in through one of the many windows but Minseok somehow had a knack for entering targets’ houses through the front door, as if he was going in for a normal visit. Chanyeol supposed it must be a psycho thing that he could not understand since he never actually had to enter targets’ house.

 

"There might be guards on the first floor, I’ll take out whoever I can through open windows but I’ll focus on the rest of the guards outside. The sound of windows breaking would alert everyone but I’ll watch you and intervene if needed," he announced into the night, knowing that Minseok heard him. While waiting for the assassin to go up into the second floor without any trouble, Chanyeol allowed himself to watch the entrance of the door and see what was happening through windows. Minseok was skilled enough to be able to get out of this successfully on his own anyway. Two guards who seemed to be doing night rounds emerged from the left wing of the villa, their shadows caught by the sniper’s eye through the scope. Before they had the occasion to alert everyone, Chanyeol took them down with two bullets perfectly aimed between their eyebrows. 

 

That seemed to be the only guards currently outside so the sniper’s gaze trailed up as he listened to the small sounds coming through his earpiece. His gaze raked along each window of the first floor, eye taking in everything he could see while he heard the distinct sound of knives piercing through skin and muscles along with whimpers of pain. Minseok was silent as he took lives away as if that was his sole purpose and Chanyeol caught the assassin’s brown tuffs of hair at the corner of a window before he disappeared. Chanyeol followed the path that he was supposed to take with his gaze, passing through the last window.

 

"A guard is waiting in front of the stairs," he warned the other before his focus trailed up to the second floor where he caught a few guards lounging around. He saw the target still in his room through the wide french doors that led to a terrace, seemingly resting on his bed. From what he could see, he seemed to be alone. "Target is alone in his bedroom," he muttered, voice low with concentration as he slid his gaze to the right, peeking inside the other rooms of the house. The window right next to the target’s room showed him three guards that seemed to entertain themselves by playing cards. The sniper almost sighed in disappointment, why did they make the mission so easy? "At least three guards in the room next to the target’s, on the right. They’re busy laughing."

 

He listened, muffled sounds in his earpiece forming a lethal melody along with the silent whistling of the wind and the occasional sound of cars passing by down the street. He heard the sound of a quiet but sly chuckle, Minseok’s voice echoing in his head as he seemed to be playing around with one of the guards. Chanyeol figured that the man was fighting back but a second later, he heard a bored sigh followed by the quiet thump of a body hitting the floor. Minseok was done playing and it had been a bit more than ten minutes since he had started the mission, which was the usual time Minseok took to clear up a house full of guards.

 

 _"I’m on the second floor. I took down all the guards I could see, I don’t think there’s any left. Get rid of them for me to quicken this, I’ll enter the target’s room in a bit,"_ he heard in his ear.

 

"Understood," he replied before aiming through the window through which he could discern only the shoulders of one guard, the other two from earlier had probably shifted to lean down a bit while playing cards. 

 

With skilled precision, he aimed and pulled the trigger to watch a bullet break the window in a loud and catastrophic symphony before nestling on the nape of the guard. Immediately, the two others stood up in alarm, taking a second to look at their now lifeless colleague in shock. The sniper took the occasion to take down one of them before a fourth one that he had not seen earlier appeared in his sightline, a gun held in his hand as he ran towards the door, probably in a rush to check for the target’s safety. He was too slow for Chanyeol who shot him before he left the front of the window and he heard a gunshot, the last guard alive aiming blindly through the window. It was stupid considering the fact that he could not see Chanyeol and he didn’t even know where he was anyway, he was concealed by the night and he easily shot the last guard as well, remaining untouched by the fired bullets.

 

He waited a few seconds, observing what he could see in the inside of the room to watch for any remaining guard but nothing moved for five whole seconds so he trailed his scope towards the left to look through the windows of the target’s room. Minseok was already clutching the businessman’s collar, holding him against the wall. He had moved from the bed so Chanyeol supposed Minseok had given him two seconds to try escaping  and make things more entertaining after the sound of the windows breaking had reached him. 

 

That was for the best in Chanyeol’s opinion since that way, he could actually properly see what Minseok was doing now. Not that he felt the need to watch him to make sure everything would go according to the plan, but there was just something about Minseok’s madness that was entertaining to watch. He always got that glint in his eyes and Chanyeol could see that there was a few blood stains on his clothes and the skin of his nape, the fluid also dripping from the dagger he was holding in his right hand, staining his black gloves as well. Anyone else seeing this scene would have been terrified and it seemed that that was the case for the target who was looking at Minseok with eyes wide in fear and tremors raking through his whole body. The sight was rather amusing and Chanyeol listened to what was said through his earpiece, finger still resting on the trigger as he remained alert in case something would happen.

 

 _"Isn’t it funny how you’re the one against this knife when usually, you’re the one telling us whose life this pretty knife should take, Mr. Choi?"_ Minseok’s voice muttered into his ear through the small device, low, sly, and probably as cold as the blades of the knives he loved to use when dealing with targets.

 

 _"W-why are y-you here? What’s… w-wrong?"_ a shaky voice answered as Chanyeol watched the target reply, a mocking snicker falling off his mouth. The sight was as pathetic as it was amusing. 

 

 _"Don’t play stupid with me, Mr. Choi. If you make me laugh, my hand could slip and slit your throat any second,"_ the assassin replied nonchalantly as he pressed the blade harder against the older man’s neck.

 

 _"What do you w-want? I didn’t do anything wrong!"_ he defended himself.

 

 _"You disappointed us a lot. We loved your deals and you were one of our most loyal clients but suddenly, you decided to drop us? We liked you though,"_ Minseok replied, gently sliding the flat side of his blood tainted knife along the target’s neck, wiping the red fluid on his skin.

 

_"I- I didn’t… I couldn’t-"_

 

_"Reply to my questions. Who did you give your deal to after canceling it with us? Light?"_

 

_"Y-yes. I’m sorry! I won’t do it again, I-"_

 

_"Why did you give the job to him?"_

 

_"I- I had no choice!"_

 

That prickled Chanyeol’s interest and Minseok’s too, judging by the way he hummed. 

 

_"Why did you have no choice?"_

 

_"I had to! He- He came to me and- and he-"_

 

 _"Stop stuttering,"_ Minseok ordered coldly.

 

‘He?’ Who would that be? Why would Baekhyun force a client to give all the deals to him? That didn’t really make sense. Was the man lying to save himself? That could be probable since Chanyeol really did not see why Baekhyun would do that, especially since he had once told Chanyeol that he was stealing his clients to get his attention. That had worked and he technically didn’t need to do that anymore. 

 

As Minseok sighed impatiently, probably waiting for the target to calm down since he actually needed to get information from him instead of just slitting his throat, Chanyeol’s attention drifted away from the situation at hand. He leaned a bit away from the scope mount of his sniper riffle and let his gaze trail around the darkness of the night, out of habit. Maybe Baekhyun was even here right now, watching them. It wouldn’t be surprising, the smaller assassin was sly and fearless, a combination that was lethal in the underground world and that was proved by his reputation as a new successful assassin.

 

Baekhyun could pretty much be watching him from the roof of the surroundings buildings, maybe he was even waiting for the right time before shooting the target himself, maybe he was going to shoot Minseok. He wouldn’t shoot Chanyeol would he? He heard voices in his earpiece but he paid too much attention to his dark surroundings to actually listen to the conversation going on between the assassin and Mr. Choi, it didn’t matter anyway, Minseok would report everything to him at the end. He was too busy looking for Baekhyun to actually pay attention to his task which wasn’t that bad, Minseok was far more skilled than Jongin and Chanyeol could allow himself to slack off a bit. Thoughts of Baekhyun had not nudged his mind at all during missions nowadays but right now, the thought that Baekhyun could be near somehow ignited a flame that Chanyeol had been trying to tame for more than a month now. 

 

However, his gaze fell on nothing but empty streets, empty rooftops, darkness, and everything that unfortunately wasn’t what Chanyeol was looking for. 

 

Suddenly, he heard something crackling in his right ear, the annoying sound coming off his earbud and calling back Chanyeol’s whole attention once again. He leaned to look through his sniper rifle’s scope mount again, a frown quickly making its way on his features. 

 

"Hyung," he called out into the tiny microphone, another crackling sound answering him before he felt the line go dead. "Minseok, can you hear me?" he asked, voice steady in spite of the uneasiness settling in his stomach. He focused on the scene he was supposed to watch once again, eyes widening when he registered what was happening in the room occupied only by the fellow assassin and their target.

 

Chanyeol rarely worked along Minseok, his position as a sniper rarely required him to work with other people and he preferred it to be that way anyway but that didn’t mean he had never seen Minseok at work. He obviously had seen the way he works, the way he deals with victims and even if he hadn’t, it was a known fact that Minseok was a deadly and messy assassin. However, it had been a while since he last worked with Minseok and therefore, the sight that the latter offered to him was more surprising than it should be. 

 

Through the scope, Chanyeol watched, his eye widening as Minseok stabbed the target with continuous movements, shoving the knife into his abdomen over and over again, always with the same confident and cold movement, his arm suddenly and strongly snapping forward until the knife was pushed into the man’s body to the hilt, before he retrieved it without any difficulty and started all over. Again and again, blood splattered on the white wall behind them, Mr. Choi’s white shirt slowly turning into a red taint with his blood. It took only a few more seconds until Minseok managed to stop and pulled himself out of his fit of madness, stepping back and letting the corpse that had been breathing only a few seconds ago slide down the wall, discarded now that it was of no use to the assassin. Without even looking back at it once, Minseok slid away from Chanyeol’s sightline, not even needing to check whether the man was still alive or not, no one could have survived such a treatment.

 

It didn’t take more than half a second for Chanyeol to get over his surprise, confusion taking over as he raked over the whole house to check a last time whether there was someone alive left. He was used to lives being taken right in front of his eyes and that was no problem, he was one of those who got money out of it after all. What was odd was that Minseok was not supposed to actually kill the target, Junmyeon had only told them to get information out of him, maybe frighten him a lot but it was not supposed to go to such extents. Not that Chanyeol minded, Mr. Choi’s death didn’t affect him on a personal level, they had only lost a regular client but that had happened the moment the man had chosen to use Light’s services instead of Venom’s. 

 

However, he didn’t have time to waste on thoughts and after making sure that the place was safe, he quickly gathered his stuff, putting his sniper riffle away in its case again and slipping into the staircase of the building he was standing on the rooftop of. His long legs took him to the car that was parked down the street, his footsteps muffled as experience brought him the ability to walk while making minimal noise. He looked over his shoulder only twice, knowing that it was impossible for anyone to be following him but still making sure of it, checking wouldn’t hurt but being caught would, especially if the victim was a wealthy business. However, they didn’t really have to fear the police, deals had been made with corrupt officers.

 

Once he reached the car, he put the case on the backseat before quietly slipping in the driver’s seat and glancing to his right to see that Minseok had already been waiting for him, sitting there and looking straight ahead of himself while displaying the coldblooded attitude of a skilled assassin. It was dark and he couldn’t see the other’s expression properly but he could at least see the blood stains on his clothes and skin.

 

"That was messy," Chanyeol commented nonchalantly, glancing at him as he fastened his belt and started the car, checking the rear mirrors to check whether they were being watched or followed before driving away from the crime scene. A few silent seconds passed before he spoke again. "I think there was a problem with my earpiece, it somehow got cut out and I couldn’t hear you anymore."

 

"The target tried fighting back for a second and somehow snatched it away. It broke," he simply said, not minding the blood that was staining his jaw and even his lower lip and that Chanyeol could see when they drove past a streetlight. He glanced down, looking at the small device that was nestled in the palm of the other’s hand, it was indeed broken.

 

"How come he even managed to touch you?" the taller said as he took a right turn, letting his voice take a slight teasing tone.

 

"I was bored."

 

"I noticed that," he chuckled softly and let a few more silent seconds pass before asking yet another question. "Why did you kill him? The boss didn’t say you had to."

 

"He never said I had to keep him alive either, did he?" Minseok deadpanned.

 

"Right," Chanyeol shrugged, knowing that prying further would be useless. He knew what kind of person Minseok was and his killing someone simply out of boredom wouldn’t be surprising. He might even have a reasoning that Chanyeol wouldn’t understand. 

 

"He angered me by saying stupid things."

 

"I see," the taller replied and he understood, that was something that happened quite often. 

 

He chose not to pry further, simply driving them to Junmyeon’s place in silence as he tried ignoring the slight jolts of disappointment he felt at the thought of Baekhyun not showing up once again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 As soon as they stepped into Junmyeon’s house, Minseok headed towards the boss’ office, still not pronouncing a single word but that wasn’t something out of the normal, he had always been too quiet and all of them were used to it. What he did not expect was to find Jongdae lounging in the living room, a lighter swirling around between his fingers.

 

"What are you doing here? I didn’t know you had something to report on," he commented curiously, watching as Jongdae lighted up a flame that disappeared only a second later when he let the lid fall shut.

 

"I don’t. Boss called me here and let me tell you, I am not satisfied with the situation. Does he know how long it has been since I last got laid? I’m wasting my chance right now when I could already be banging a pretty chick," the other replied, tone closer to whiny than angry.

 

"You stay here, I’ll report," Minseok ordered as he walked past Chanyeol and headed towards Junmyeon’s office.

 

"Why would I stay-" Chanyeol started, voice filled with confusion, before he cut himself off when Minseok simply disappeared upstairs without giving him the chance to protest.

 

"What’s going on?" Jongdae yawned, thumb playing with the sparkle wheel of his lighter. He had always been somewhat of a pyromaniac and while Minseok was known to be a messy assassin, Jongdae was more of the kind to simply light up his targets and watch them slowly turn into ashes. He wasn’t sure which one was better but if you were to ask him, Chanyeol would stay he was the most normal one out of their group.

 

"I don’t know, we’re coming back from that mission about a client giving our deals to Light," he shrugged, plopping down on the couch opposite from Jongdae. 

 

"The boss told me he had something important to tell us. I think he called Jongin too, he should be here soon."

 

"Why would he call all of us here?" he wondered out loud.

Everything was just too confusing lately and Chanyeol was starting to hate it, it felt terrible not to understand what was going on around him and the worst was that no one seemed to even be willing to help him understand. Before he could voice out his frustration or even consider barging into Junmyeon’s office and ask what the hell was going on, he heard footsteps and turned his head just in time to see Jongin walking into the room, dragging his feet on the ground as he walked closer, hair pointing out in all sides and clothes messy as if he had just gotten out of bed. Considering the frown on his features and his narrowed eyes, Chanyeol was positive that was exactly what had happened.

 

"Can’t we even sleep like normal people anymore," he grumbled as he plopped down next to Chanyeol and immediately pillowed his head against his shoulder, eyes closing.

 

"Who told you we were normal? I’m sorry but someone lied to you, kid," was Jongdae’s amused answer as another small flame from his lighter lighted up his features, giving his wide grin somewhat of a dark and threatening look. 

 

"You sure as hell aren’t normal," Jongin simply snorted before looking up at Chanyeol grumpily. "Why the hell is your shoulder so hard?"

 

"Shut up and be grateful I’m even allowing you to rest against me," the taller raised a brow, slightly amused by Jongin’s crankiness. He was used to it, it had been years since he had to deal with his attitude when he was pulled out of sleep too soon. 

 

Jongin simply grumbled under his breath, the soft sound mixing in with Jongdae’s amused laughter before they engaged in small conversation, Jongin staying silent as Jongdae talked about the latest woman he had dragged into his bed two days ago even if Chanyeol was sure he didn’t _need_ to hear anything about it. 

 

Barely fifteen minutes later, when Jongdae had chosen to change the topic to the latest person he tortured instead, they finally heard footsteps coming from the stairs and Jongdae immediately quietened down, probably sensing that this was going to be a serious topic. It was past 2AM when he checked the time on his phone and he nudged Jongin awake with his elbow, trying not to laugh at the whine of protest he heard. It was amazing how his best friend could sleep anywhere at anytime and so much.

 

"Woah, I see someone had a lot of fun tonight. The psycho assassin look suits you so much, hyung," Jongdae purred teasingly, eyes raking over Minseok who had not cleaned up yet, blood stains dried over his skin and clothes. He did look like a crazy murderer and Chanyeol supposed that it was rather accurate. 

 

Minseok, not unexpectedly,  did not reply and simply leaned back against the table at the other corner of the room, standing a few steps away from them. He knew Junmyeon would not tolerate his dirtying up his expensive couches with blood.

 

"Alright, why are we all here tonight at this hour, boss?" Jongin suddenly questoned, sleepiness gone from his voice and features and replaced by a look of discontent that Junmyeon did not pay attention to. The elder’s features were pulled into a frown and Chanyeol could discern the concern and worry in his expression as he stayed silent, prompting Chanyeol to ask a question of his own.

 

"Did we do anything wrong during the mission?"

 

"No, it went well. Mr. Choi’s death was not planned but it had to be this way and Minseok made the right decision," the boss replied, voice steady and professional, as always. 

 

"Then why are we here? Not that I mind, I’d choose all of you over alcohol and a sinful and curvy body anytime but still," Jongdae shrugged, lips curved into a mischievous smile and Chanyeol tried not to snort when remembering his earlier complaints about being here.

 

"It’s about Light," Junmyeon announced and Chanyeol sensed Jongin glancing at him, probably thinking that he had once again done something stupid. It was unnerving but could he really blame him?

 

"I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?" he asked Junmyeon, frowning.

 

"No, you didn’t do anything. Fortunately," the elder sighed and Chanyeol refrained himself from thinking that his reaction was exaggerated. It might not be. "You’re all going to forget about Light now," he suddenly stated, tone taking an authoritarian turn and gaze lingering on Chanyeol for a second more than the others. "Jongin, you don’t need to look around for him or find information about him either anymore."

 

"Why?" Chanyeol immediately questioned, stance turning defensive. Why would they forget about Light? Chanyeol’s only goal at the moment was to _remember_ him. 

 

"Are you questioning my orders?" Junmyeon raised a brow, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at Chanyeol who was still settled on the couch while the elder was on his feet, in front of them. He clenched his jaw.

 

"You told me to kill him only a few days ago, boss. Why are you suddenly asking us all to forget about him?" he shot back, leaning forward a bit and ignoring Jongin’s hand on his thigh. Junmyeon never interfered that much with his life and Chanyeol could not tolerate him to take away something that was so important to him. Not when he didn’t even figure out why it was so important. 

 

"You’re right. I told you to kill him a few days ago. You haven’t, therefore, you failed," Junmyeon retorted calmly despite the way he could see his jaw clenching and unclenching rapidly in a sign of anger. He hated not being obeyed to and Chanyeol knew it better than anyone else but right now, it did not matter as much as usual.

 

"I still need time to find him! It’s not easy!" Chanyeol raised his voice a bit, standing up and stepping closer to Junmyeon to be the one looking down at him this time. Tension thickened in the room and he could feel everyone’s eyes on them as they silently watched. Chanyeol had never raised his voice to his boss before.

 

"This is exactly why you’re failing, Chanyeol," the shorter stated, voice cold and professional as he used the word that Chanyeol hated the most for the second time in less than a minute. Failure. Chanyeol never failed. Never. He gritted his teeth, doing his best not to be disrespectful to the man that had given him a shelter, a new life, and simply glared at him, staying silent as his hands clenched into tight fists. He could feel flames of anger licking up his body, burning low in his chest. Why couldn’t Junmyeon just let him deal with Baekhyun? "You’re too emotionally involved in this, you’re not careful enough, you made so many mistakes already and there isn’t even a result worth those stupid mistakes that not even an inexperienced assassin would make."

 

"I’m doing my best," he said through gritted teeth, anger turning into rage when he remembered how he had let Baekhyun slip though his fingers last time he had seen him, without even doing anything close to an attempt at killing him.

 

"It’s not enough," Junmyeon simply said and Chanyeol could see it in his eyes, the disappointment. He had not expected Chanyeol to react like that and he was not supposed to react like that either. "Minseok will take over and get rid of Light for us."

 

If Chanyeol had been angry until now, something worse than flames ate his insides when he heard those words. A storm broke out in his mind, strong gushes of wind swirling his thoughts around and rendering him unable to properly think, the sound of chaos drowning his ears and momentarily rendering him unable to hear anything. Not that there was anything to hear, everyone had quieted down, as if they knew the impact that single sentence would have on Chanyeol and the latter could only focus on one single thing. _Minseok was to get rid of Baekhyun._

 

That couldn’t happen. That was not supposed to happen. Baekhyun was supposed to die at one point, Chanyeol could accept that or at least convince himself that he could accept that but now that he wasn’t the one who was supposed to get rid of him when the right time would come, Chanyeol couldn’t accept that. Minseok would kill him. He wouldn’t hesitate, Chanyeol had seen him stab a man to death messily and quite disturbingly only a while ago. Simply imagining Baekhyun as that man, the skillful assassin that had been enchanting his mind for weeks, the man that had been writhing in pleasure under him a mere week ago, the child he had taken a beating for in the past simply because _Baekhyun was not supposed to get hurt,_ was not something he wanted to do. He couldn’t let that happen. He needed answers, he needed to figure the link between them out, he needed Baekhyun to be alive. 

 

"No, he won’t," Chanyeol muttered darkly after a few seconds during which he went through a rollercoaster of feelings, jaw clenched, shoulders tense, and hands clenched into tight fists that he tried to hide, not wanting anyone to see the way he was shaking in anger.

 

"What?" Junmyeon said after a second, eyes widening he slightest at the tone those words were said with.

 

"I won’t let Minseok take over. This is my duty, it was given to me first and I will get rid of Light when the proper occasion presents itself," he explained, voice low with anger. He could see the disappointment and the anger slowly thickening on Junmyeon’s features and a part of him felt the same way as the elder, what was Chanyeol even doing? He had never opposed to Junmyeon’s decisions, he had never felt angry against him, he had never even raised his voice at him and yet, Chanyeol was doing all those things tonight. For someone he didn’t even remember. 

 

"You don’t have a say in it, I am the leader of this clan and you’re working for me. Minseok will take over," Junmyeon stated, stance defensive and confident despite the anger dancing in his dark eyes.

 

"Why?! I can do it! I’m going to do it, I won’t fail," he promised stepping even closer to Junmyeon in his haste. He had to convince him. "Why this sudden decision when everything was okay yesterday?"

 

"You have no right to question my orders. You simply have to obey, Chanyeol," the other reminded him coldly and Chanyeol’s heart clenched. Junmyeon had never treated Chanyeol like a mere worker, someone who had to obey to his orders. 

 

"No, I won’t. I don’t understand this sudden decision. It doesn’t make any sense to suddenly take my job away like this and I am not giving it away," he argued once again, knowing that he was overreacting and aware of the way everyone was looking at him as if he was crazy. However, he could not see anything other than the image of a child crying for him and apologizing at the sight of his bruises. No one could kill Baekhyun, he would not allow it.

 

"I gave you the occasion. You failed, therefore, someone else has to take over and do the job properly. This guy has been annoying us for too long now and I won’t tolerate it anymore, I won’t let him get into my best assassin’s mind and mess with it either," Junmyeon spat out, tone so cold, so authoritarian, that Chanyeol flinched. He had never been at the receiving end of that tone. Then, Junmyeon stepped closer, until Chanyeol could feel his breath on his skin and had to look down to meet his gaze. He found himself trapped in it, slowly feeling his arguments turn into ashes when the flames of anger in the elder’s eyes attacked him all at once. "I am disappointed in you, Chanyeol, and this reaction only shows me that I’ve made the right decision. Minseok is going to take over and get rid of Light. Meanwhile, I’d like you to remember who you’re talking to. I think you forgot who made you into the man you are today, who saved you from dying in the streets like an abandoned stray animal that no one cared about, who gave you a shelter and people to call a family, who brought you up to be one of the most feared man in this city. _I_ did. Remember this next time you’re trying to disobey and overpower me."

 

Each of those words were pronounced with the coldest calm anyone could ever pour into words and yet, that icy feeling was so close to that of a blade slowly sliding into your body and tearing apart veins, muscles, and flesh, torturing you until the pain was the only thing you could focus on. Realization hit him like a truck and he stepped back, keeping his expression blank as he felt his mind collapse.

 

What the hell was he doing? Junmyeon was right. How could he act this way with _Junmyeon_ for someone who didn’t mean anything to him only a month ago? For someone whose identity he was not even sure of?

 

He did not have a reply to those questions and suddenly, everything felt too much. Pressure weighed down on his shoulders, enough for him to be willing to collapse on his knees in front of someone for the first time in his life. However, Chanyeol was not that kind of person, he would never do that. The next best thing was to flee from the anger and the shame looking at Junmyeon made him feel and that was what he did, leaping towards the door and running out of the house as fast as he could, without looking back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If there was one thing that Chanyeol had learned in his twenty four years of existence, it was that silence was never your ally when you had things to reflect about, your thoughts would sound louder, your feelings would feel heavier, and your conscience would scream into your ears and become the only thing you’d hear for hours on end. 

 

He had a lot of things to reflect about that night, too many things that he never thought he’d even have to think about and yet, he couldn’t help but replay what had happened in Junmyeon’s house in his head and each time he did so, the feeling of shame that had been wrapped around his neck ever since he had stepped out of the man’s house only tightened and made it more difficult to breath. He had no idea why he had reacted like that. Well, actually he kind of had an idea but it was wrong, so wrong to choose Baekhyun over Venom. It should be out of the question, why would he argue with Junmyeon so strongly because of someone who had stopped him, kept running away from him, and only confused him more with each encounter?

 

Chanyeol didn’t want to think about it, he wanted to sleep and forget it but even that was too difficult to do in a completely silent house. Therefore, he had been thankful when he had opened his fridge as soon as he had reached his house and found it empty, not even a can of beer available for him to drown his thoughts in. Without hesitating, he chose to run away from the silence and the guilt and took up the opportunity to distract himself with grocery shopping. Not a lot of places were opened at three in the morning but there was a small convenience store down the street and it never closed so Chanyeol now found himself aimlessly roaming between the full aisles of the small store, arms empty. 

 

He had probably walked between every aisle of the store twice, simply walking and looking, reading over the products’ packaging and taking in the stupid information that no one ever paid attention to. It was stupid, a bit ridiculous too, but at least, it helped Chanyeol relax a bit, his mind finally wandering away form the millions of questions he had, about Junmyeon, about Baekhyun, and about himself. The store was quiet but not completely silent, it was empty but Chanyeol could hear the snoring of the old man that was supposed to be the cashier and greet people when they entered the store, there was also the constant whirling of the lights and every other electronic device in the store. It was not the kind of noise Chanyeol probably needed in his life but he had learned a long time ago to feel happy for he had and not sad for what he lacked.

 

A good fifteen minutes later, he was starting to get bored of walking in circles in the store and exhaustion was slowly crawling to him seductively as well, trying to pull his eyelids down, so Chanyeol decided that it was enough for today, he only needed to grab a pack of beer, a few snacks to survive the next few days, and then he could get out of this place to go home. He turned around, heading towards the beverage and alcohol aisle at the opposite side of the store while looking around out of habit. However, as he passed through the section filled with girly stuff, his gaze was caught by something that seemed awfully familiar and he stopped in his tracks, stepping towards the shelf that contained different sorts of jewelry made for children, most of them awfully colorful and made out of fragile-looking plastic.

 

Amongst all the different options, only one thing had caught his gaze: a bracelet made out of braided black and white ropes. Curiously, he observed it, fingers sliding to his right wrist and fiddling with the black and white ropes that were circling his wrist. He looked down at it before looking at the bracelet hanging on the shelf, taking in their similarities. They were the same, the bracelet he had found on the mattress of the abandoned warehouse was the same as the one in this store and Chanyeol was hardly even surprised, he had already established the fact that the bracelet was cheap and easy to find anywhere. What he still could not understand was why Baekhyun would wear such a thing. Not that it was ugly, it was simple and looked pretty as well. What he had not expected, however, was to find that the bracelet was part of a set. Hanging from the same package, there was another black and white bracelet, they were identical but the only difference was that one was dominated by black ropes, like the one Chanyeol was currently wearing, and the other by white ropes. They went together but Chanyeol had only found one bracelet that night. Curiously, he brought his fingers up to touch the bracelet mainly made out of white ropes, finger pads sliding over the thin braid as he observed it. It was nice, there was something about it that made him curious and he could not pull his gaze away from it.

 

Maybe Baekhyun had bought it on an impulse while grocery shopping? That could be a possibility. He had not seen him wear it but Chanyeol knew it would look good on him, the black ropes of the bracelet would look pretty against his milky skin, just like his dark hair had looked ethereal when falling over his forehead while Chanyeol had been hovering over him that night.

 

He shook his head, letting out a quiet snort. He had to stop thinking about it at random times, memories from that night would come visit him in his dreams, sometimes when he let himself drown in his thoughts during the day, and it was not helping. Especially not tonight. He stepped back from the colorful aisle, looking at the bracelet and the hair accessories one last time before deciding that it was time to grab that pack of beer and head home. Sleeping most of the day away seemed to be the greatest idea Chanyeol had ever had at that moment.

 

However, before he could even take a step towards his destination, he felt something hard, narrow, and round pressing against his lower back, cold almost seeping into his skin through the fabric of his sweater. He froze right away, alarm bells ringing in his mind as soon as a low voice tickled his ears.

 

"Fancy seeing you here, Chanyeol-ah."


	7. Chapter Seven

"Fancy seeing you here, Chanyeol-ah."

 

Unexpectedly, Chanyeol’s first reaction was to shiver as he felt that oh so familiar voice tickle his ears the same way he felt a warm breath tickle the sensitive skin of his nape. However, he had been trained to face this kind of situation for half of his life and he could still feel the hard, round shaped object pressed against his back so he let his instincts take over, body responding to the situation almost on automatism. Without a warning, he threw his arm back in an attempt to elbow the person who was standing behind him in the face but the only thing he was met with was emptiness so he turned around, hand wrapping around the other’s wrist before he twisted his arm. He heard a soft whimper of pain oddly mixed with a chuckle and in a matter of seconds, his chest was pressed against the smaller’s back, his thumb pressing on a spot on his wrist until he heard something crash on the ground.

 

He looked down, gaze falling on a green gun made of plastic and that probably wouldn’t even fit in Chanyeol’s hand, it was made for much smaller hands after all, a kid’s hand. It was still attached to its package by a single strand, the second white protective rope had been torn away from the package. As he was busy realizing how stupid he had been, he didn’t even notice that the person in his hold had slowly started moving until pain struck his chin when his opponent threw his head back to strike him. Letting out a faint groan, Chanyeol let his opponent slide away from his hold and brought a hand up to rub his jaw instead, glaring at the person who had surprised him. The assassin looked at the latter, meeting droopy eyes filled with an amusement that was bright enough to almost blind Chanyeol’s dark eyes, a mischievously confident curl on thin lips, and dark strands of hair. It was a light he had been looking for without any success in the past week. _Baekhyun._

 

"What the hell are you doing? Are you twelve?" he asked, irritated even if the other had not even uttered a single word. What was he angry for? For having been stupidly tricked? For the other’s disappearance throughout the whole week? Or for the general confusion that never once left his mind?

 

"Yes, I’m twelve," Baekhyun simply shrugged, looking at him seriously.

 

"What?" Chanyeol couldn’t help but dumbly ask, not expecting that reply.

 

"On a scale from one to ten. I’m probably a strong twelve," he explained, a playful smile spreading on his lips again and it was beautiful but Chanyeol had the sudden urge to punch Baekhyun’s face until no trace of it remained. It was mocking. It had always been and the other enjoyed messing with Chanyeol’s head too much, as much as Chanyeol hated it, probably. 

 

And he was decided to do it, he was going to punch that infuriating smile off that irritatingly pretty face. For so many reasons, a flame burst inside of him and he took a step closer to the smaller assassin, hand clenched into a tight fist which the other was aware of, judging by the way his smile widened the slightest and he changed his stance to a defensive one. However, before any of them could do anything, a raspy voice rose from a few feet away.

 

"What the hell are you both doing?"

 

Chanyeol’s sharp gaze turned to the owner of that voice and he recognized the old man that had been sleeping behind the cashier’s counter when he entered the store almost half an hour ago. He had obviously been awakened from his nap after the small ‘fight’ they had a few seconds ago and he was not very happy about it. Chanyeol parted his lips, to apologize and explain that they were not doing anything wrong. He still needed that pack of beer anyway, but before he could say anything, Baekhyun spoke.

 

"I’m sorry, sir. My boyfriend tends to take jokes too far, we were just playing around. We’ll try being more quiet," he said, smiling with the innocence of a child. A child that seemed almost familiar. However, more than that familiarity, Chanyeol focused on the surprise those words ignited in him. What the hell was Baekhyun trying to do? 

 

He frowned, parting his lips and turning to the man to deny everything because he was starting to feel tired of Baekhyun somehow leading everything whenever they were together but before he could do it, he noticed the disgusted glare the old man gave them before turning around and walking away while muttering things Chanyeol was sure he didn’t want to hear under his breath.

 

"Now he’ll leave us alone," he heard beside him, turning to Baekhyun to see that his amused smile had only grown wider. 

 

Chanyeol deflated. He hated this. He hated the way he didn’t seem to be himself whenever Baekhyun was around, it was as if the assassin in him disappeared each time the other was here. The part of him that had been carved deep inside of him for long years filled with training, bruises, broken limbs, and final success, simply vanished. He was almost passive with the other, he basically let Baekhyun do whatever he wanted. Chanyeol lost every fight, he failed at every stupid game the other dragged him into, he never managed to find him anywhere, he let him slip between his fingers. He hated it, he couldn’t help but think that Junmyeon was right. 

 

And yet, he didn’t find it in himself to do anything about it. Baekhyun was already so difficult to find and keep, Chanyeol knew trying to overpower him that way wouldn’t be the fastest way to reach those answers he has been craving for such a long time. 

 

So he simply sighed, feeling the first signs of an impending headache, and frowned at the other.

 

"What are you playing at?"

 

"Aren’t you happy by my surprise? I thought you might be missing me since it’s been a while," he said and Chanyeol could almost believe his intentions were innocent if not for the way his gaze darkened the slightest as he uttered those words. It was not the kind of darkness summoned by anger though. He wondered if he was thinking back to their last encounter while uttering those words. Did he think about it as much as Chanyeol did? Or was that just another game for Baekhyun?

 

"I certainly did not miss your stupid mind games," he snorted, completely honest.

 

"You shouldn’t lower your guard like that, Chanyeol. I could have killed you," Baekhyun simply warned him instead of replying to his accusing words.

 

"If you wanted to kill me, you would have done it a long time ago," the taller replied, searching the other’s eyes as he did so. However, it was unreadable. Like it had always been. The windows of his soul were locked up and a thick curtain of amusement prevented Chanyeol from seeing through  it. 

 

"You got a point," was the only reply Baekhyun was willing to give him and for once, none of his words were lined with sarcasm, amusement, or mischievousness. It was one of his only serious moments and yet, it was so different from the Baekhyun he had seen that night in the warehouse. That night, Baekhyun had seemed almost desperate and Chanyeol vividly remembered the deep sadness that soared in his dark orbs when he had pronounced his name. He was so different from that night and Chanyeol couldn’t help but trail his gaze over him, as if to carve each of his features into his head. To make sure he wouldn’t forget him again. 

 

Baekhyun seemed to be doing the same thing and Chanyeol felt his gaze travel over his features before he saw him stop at one point down his body.

 

"I see you’re wearing it," Baekhyun commented, tone neutral.

 

"What?" Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, confused, before looking down to follow the shorter’s gaze. He noticed that the bracelet he had found in the warehouse was peaking from beneath the sleeve of his hoodie, black and white ropes shown to whoever could see them. "Oh that. I found it when I woke up in the warehouse. You were already gone by then. As always," he said, aware of the accusation in his tone and knowing that it didn’t make sense for him to be upset about it. It had been nothing but sex anyway, something Chanyeol wasn’t unfamiliar with.

 

"You sound upset. Were you expecting a second round in the morning?" Baekhyun asked, back to his playful and irritating self as he looked up at Chanyeol while tilting his head. It was adorable. And would make a perfect target to punch. However, Chanyeol had already established the fact that he would stay calm.

 

"Take it back. It’s yours. I don’t even know why I kept it, I probably forgot to take it off after trying it on," he said, avoiding the other’s gaze as he focused on his fingers, fumbling while trying to take the bracelet off. He wasn’t even lying, he had just put it on that morning to try it and then never thought about taking it off. He was forgetful. The irony. 

 

"Don’t bother," Baekhyun suddenly said and Chanyeol watched as his long and delicate fingers grabbed his, preventing him from taking the bracelet off. "It’s yours anyway."

 

Chanyeol froze, looking at him in a mixture of confusion and surprise. "What do you mean it’s mine? You dropped it that night at the warehouse."

 

"Nope," Baekhyun sighed, even if he was still smiling, before raising his arm. "This one is mine."  His other hand came up to tug at the sleeve of his jacket, revealing a bracelet. It was identical to the one Chanyeol was wearing, the only difference was that while Chanyeol’s was made out of more black ropes than white ones, Baekhyun’s was made out of mainly white ropes. They were part of a set. Just like the one Chanyeol had seen on the aisle on his right.

 

His widened, surprise-filled eyes slid to his right, raking through the colorful kid’s jewelries before landing on what he was looking for: the package containing two matching black and white bracelets. Right on the package, in bold and colorful letters, two words glared at Chanyeol. _Friendship bracelets._

 

"Friendship bracelets?" he read out loud, voice nothing but a low and confused mumble. He felt a headache knock against his temples, as if asking for permission before it entered Chanyeol’s head and trashed everything inside. However, he ignored it, trailing his gaze down to the bracelet around Baekhyun’s wrist again, the latter keeping his silence all throughout.

 

He had been right earlier. The bracelet really did look good on the shorter, the black parts of the braid contrasted with his pale skin greatly, glaring at Chanyeol, and the white ropes looked as if they were glistening against his skin, despite the obvious traces of overuse. The braid was loose, as if it had been stretched a bit, and the white parts had obviously been whiter in the past but it still looked pretty on Baekhyun, and so, so familiar.

 

Noticing for the first time that he had stopped breathing, Chanyeol slid his gaze up to the other’s face again, taking a deep breath but finding it hard to drag air into his lungs. It was as if confusion had wrapped around his neck and pierced through his skin to slide into his throat. Chanyeol was panicking, he could once again feel himself drowning in the big puddle of confusion Baekhyun had first pushed him into that day, when they were both standing on the same rooftop. Oddly, he felt like that puddle was slowly growing to be a river. 

 

Contrary to Chanyeol, Baekhyun looked nothing short of calm. There was no sign of panic, distress, confusion, or anger in his features. It was somehow even worse for Chanyeol to see that he was the only one panicking while Baekhyun stood calmly in front of him, watching him do so. Chanyeol was the only one who had forgotten everything and Baekhyun was only looking at him, a light, sincere smile on his lips. A familiar smile. An oddly calming smile. A really beautiful smile. A smile Chanyeol fought many times to protect in the past.

 

His gaze never once left Baekhyun’s face and little by little, Chanyeol watched as his face morphed, features changing the slightest until there was no trace of an assassin standing in front of him anymore. Instead, there was a small kid looking up at him. The same droopy eyes, the same odd look in those dark orbs, and the same light smile pulled Chanyeol down the lane of his broken memories. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Isn’t it cool, Chanyeol-ah? I think it’s pretty," the child in front of him said, all smiles and sunshines, one hand tugging at his wrist excitedly while the other one was holding two matching black and white bracelets._

 

_They were indeed pretty and the sight of the shorter’s smile was almost enough for Chanyeol to agree with anything that would come out of the other’s mouth and yet, a frown was the only thing he could give him._

 

_"Did you steal those, Baekhyun? Where?" he asked, wiggling a bit on the uncomfortable mattress under him to look at the other more properly. It was getting dark outside and he wanted to be able to see Baekhyun. He always felt bad whenever he couldn’t see him._

 

_"At a convenience store downtown. The old lady who was working there was snoring when I walked in and I’m sure even now, she probably didn’t notice that something was missing from the aisle," the other replied, a childish giggle leaving his lips as he played with the bracelets in his small hands._

 

_"You should be careful!" Chanyeol scolded him. "This is not like bread or fruits in the market, you can’t just grab it and run. It’s more dangerous. What if you got caught?"_

 

_"I didn’t get caught. Stop nagging at me, you know these hands are magic," he grinned, voice resonating in the empty room as he wiggled his fingers in front of Chanyeol’s face. The latter couldn’t help but laugh softly. His friend was so silly._

 

_"It’s magical," he corrected the other, amused. "Anyway, what did you even get those for?" he questioned._

 

_"For us, idiot. They’re friendship bracelets," the smaller rolled his eyes, as if it should have been obvious._

 

_"Friendship bracelets? What’s that even?"_

 

_"It’s bracelets that two best friends share! You have matching ones, to show everyone that you’re best friends. And you never take it off either, until the day you’re not friends anymore. Which means you keep it forever," the other explained eagerly._

 

_"Where did you even learn that?"_

 

_"I heard it from two kids in the streets yesterday."_

 

_"And you decided that it was a good idea to get these for us?" he questioned, still rather confused._

 

_"Yes, I chose you as the person who should have a friendship bracelet with me."_

 

_"I’m your only friend, silly," Chanyeol chuckled._

 

_"You’re the only friend I need," Baekhyun shrugged, still smiling that bright smile that Chanyeol always compared to the sun._

 

_That concept was stupid. Why would you need a bracelet to make sure you’d stay friends with someone forever? Chanyeol already knew that he was going to be friends with Baekhyun for a long time. He wasn’t sure how long forever was but if it was a long time then he wanted to be friends with Baekhyun forever. His lips stretched into a smile._

 

_"You want to be friends with me forever?" he asked, almost shy, a bit unsure._

 

_"You don’t want to be friends with me forever?" Baekhyun asked and abruptly, the sun-like smile fell off his lips, replaced by an unsure and crestfallen expression. Chanyeol hated this expression on Baekhyun. Baekhyun was supposed to always smile and laugh, he was supposed to jump around and never stop talking, even when Chanyeol childishly told him to shut up._

 

_"Of course, I want to be friends with you forever, Baekhyunnie."_

 

_And that was all it took for the sun to shine in Baekhyun’s smile again. Without wasting another second he raised both bracelets, each one in either hand._

 

_"Which one do you want?"_

 

_"The mostly black one," Chanyeol shrugged._

 

_"Why?"_

 

_"You’re Light so you should get the mostly white one," he explained, taking  it off Baekhyun’s hand and putting it around his wrist. His wrists were so thin, just like the rest of his body, the bone protruded harshly, and his skin was unhealthily pale, the green of his veins showing too much, but the bracelet looked perfect on his wrist. It was just a bit too big and fell to surround his hand but at least, it wouldn’t fall off. Chanyeol was in a similar state, the mostly black braid of his bracelet fell over to his hand as well._

 

_"Best friends forever?" Baekhyun asked, smile wide as he took Chanyeol’s hand in his, bracelets almost touching on their hands._

 

_"Best friends forever," Chanyeol replied, without hesitating._

 

_It was silly and maybe a bit useless but Chanyeol knew that if it would make Baekhyun keep smiling like this, he’d agree with anything._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Do you remember?"

 

That single question snapped him out of the dream-like memory his mind had been locked in and Chanyeol focused back to the present, breath trembly as he exhaled, shaken up. In front of him, stood Baekhyun. Dressed in black from head to toe, similar to the way Chanyeol was dressed, and already, the latter could feel the remnants of the memory slipping through his fingers. It was already getting blurry in his head. 

 

"You… We-" Chanyeol whispered, trying to form a sentence, preparing himself to plead the other to _please_ get him out of the confusion that was eating him up and tell him whatever was happening, who he was was, and what they were, together. Or had been. 

 

"I’m glad you do remember. Little by little," Baekhyun whispered, smiling. The sight tugged at his heart. It wasn’t a happy smile, nor a sad one. It was a mix between sorrow and relief, determination and hesitation. 

 

The scene of a kid fumbling to put a too-big bracelet around his wrist replayed in Chanyeol’s mind and he focused, taking in everything he could while his eyes fell back to the bracelet around his wrist. A bracelet that had been given to him years ago. It fit perfectly around his wrist now.

 

"Why are you-" he started questioning the other, lifting his gaze up from the bracelet only to stop when he dazedly noticed that Baekhyun was no longer standing in front of him. 

 

Chanyeol cursed under his breath, eyes frantically looking around. Baekhyun had once again slipped through his fingers and Chanyeol had not even noticed. As always.

 

Without wasting another second, even if his head was filled with even more questions than a mere hour ago, he rushed out of the convenience store, ignoring the old man’s displeased comments behind him as he threw himself out in the streets. It was dark outside, it was closer to morning than to midnight and the street wasn’t well-lit at all, which only made it difficult for the assassin to locate the person he always found himself running after. However, he didn’t give up, taking a right and running with everything his long legs could give him. Baekhyun couldn’t be too far away, he had rushed out only seconds before Chanyeol did.

 

The sound of his heavy steps and slightly panicked breathing pounded in his ears, adjusting to the furious beating of his heart and creating a symphony Chanyeol was sure of having heard before. When he was running after Baekhyun in a game that the latter had called ‘tag,’ a few weeks ago. Just like that time, Chanyeol wasn’t willing to be part of this strange and complicated game the other enjoyed dragging him into. 

 

He ran around for long minutes but there was no trace of Baekhyun. As always, he was unable to locate him on his own, unless Baekhyun was willing to let Chanyeol catch him. He was a well-trained assassin and not for the first time, Chanyeol told himself that Light did deserve his title of new best assassin in town. 

 

Exhaustion soon caught up to him, it had been a long day, filled with work and emotional turmoil and he was still feeling the effects of that memory Baekhyun had triggered. He stopped in the middle of the empty backstreets of Seoul, looking around as he tried catching his breath, his chest heaving up and down. He had lost again.

 

Suddenly, his leg shot out in front of him, kicking an empty can of beer that was innocently laying on the dirty ground and the loud sound it screamed while flying all the way across the street mixed in with the loud curse that escaped Chanyeol’s lips. Frustration echoed inside of him, drowning out everything else. Why couldn’t he understand anything about this situation? Why didn’t Baekhyun just tell him everything instead of triggering memories and disappearing right away, leaving Chanyeol to deal with the confusion and the anger? When would this come to an end? He ran his fingers through his hair, tussling it frustratedly and heaving out a sigh.

 

Why did he keep allowing Baekhyun to play with his mind like this? He was Park Chanyeol. The most feared assassin of the city. The one who never ever missed a target, the one you’d never ever be able to spot anywhere, the one who was heartless and never let emotions rule him out. And yet, all of this crumbled as soon as he had met Light. The rival he hated. The beautiful man he kept chasing. The child he always protected in his memories. 

 

A faint buzzing put an end to his inner turmoil and he looked down as it pocket as soon as he felt his phone vibrating against his thigh. He sighed, taking a deep breath before retrieving the device from his pocket. He frowned when seeing the name that was glaring at him from the screen. That was the last thing he needed right now and yet, he knew to never ignore one of his calls so he swept his fingers on the screen and willed himself to sound neutral after bringing the phone up against his ear.

 

"Yes, boss," he answered and instantly, irritation and shame wrapped around him at the memory of the fight they had just a few hours ago. One about Baekhyun.

 

 _"Chanyeol?"_ he heard through the line and it was easy to recognize the hesitation in the man’s voice. It made him feel worse. _"Where are you? What are you doing?"_

 

"I’m outside. Grocery shopping," he simply informed him, not mentioning anything about his encounter with Baekhyun.

 

_"At this hour?"_

 

"There was no more beer at the house," he sighed softly, hating how awkward this whole conversation was.

 

 _"I see,"_ the other hummed, a beat passing before he continued. _"Have you heard anything about Light?"_ Instantly, Chanyeol tensed, looking around.

 

"No, why would I?" he asked back, doing his best not to sound defensive or guilty. It was so difficult to lie to Junmyeon but he didn’t have any choice. It would only upset the other more and Chanyeol had to know everything he could in order to understand this whole mystery surrounding him and Baekhyun.

 

 _"I’m just making sure,"_ the elder sighed through his phone. _"Listen, Chanyeol. I’m sorry for earlier."_

 

A few silent seconds passed and in every single one of them, guilt and shame pressed harder against Chanyeol’s chest, suffocating him. Junmyeon had stayed up in the early morning hours and had called him to apologize for what happened earlier when just a few minutes ago, Chanyeol was chasing the person he was asked to kill around the streets. And Chanyeol had disrespected the other so much during their argument, something he had never done before.

 

"Why are you apologizing, hyung?" he mumbled, biting his lower lip in guilt.

 

_"I know you’re really upset about my assigning Minseok to take care of Light instead of you and I might have been too harsh on you earlier."_

 

"I disrespected you though. I guess it was something I deserved," he said, hating it to admit it out loud.

 

 _"I know, that really upset me actually, you’ve never reacted this way before. I hope you understand me, Chanyeol. I just don’t want you getting hurt unnecessarily. I know how much that assassin affects you,"_ he explained, tone indicating that even if he was apologizing right now, Junmyeon wouldn’t take back anything that he had said. However, there was still some warmth in his voice, the same warmth he used when Chanyeol was younger and had a hard time successfully completing his training. _It’s okay_ , Junmyeon would always say. _You’ll make it one day. Don’t give up._

 

Junmyeon had always treated him like family, despite being Chanyeol’s boss in a field of work that required you to even give up on your actual family. He had always treated Chanyeol like someone special, a little brother, maybe he sometimes acted like the father that Chanyeol never had. 

 

And Chanyeol had only upset him lately. He only failed at whatever he was doing. He simply played along with the enemy. It made him feel awful and right then and there, he wanted to spill everything to the man who had always protected him. He wanted to tell him everything, everything about the memories, the dreams, the mind games, the confusion, and _Baekhyun._

 

However, something big was at stakes. Something Chanyeol wanted to discover on his own. Something that felt too important for him to even share with anyone else, no matter who that was. He’d tell Junmyeon everything once he’d get all the answers he needed.

 

"I’m sorry, hyung," he settled on apologizing, voice filled with sincerity. "For disrespecting you and for failing at accomplishing a simple mission."

 

 _"It’s alright, kid,"_ he heard Junmyeon chuckle lightly and suddenly, all the tension between them vanished. _"I’m just worried about you, that’s all. I have a bad feeling about that Light guy."_

 

"I know, I’m sorry for worrying you."

 

_"It’s okay. Just don’t do it again, alright?"_

 

"I won’t," Chanyeol promised and he was determined not to let what was going on with Baekhyun get between him and Venom. 

 

 _"Great,"_ Junmyeon sighed. _"Alright then, I’ll let you continue grocery shopping or whatever. You should rest well. You’re going to join Jongdae tomorrow to take care of some business. I’ll give details tomorrow."_

 

"Alright," he hummed, feeling a bit better now that he had apologized and he knew that everything was okay with the elder. "Goodnight, boss."

 

_"Goodnight, Chanyeol."_

 

With that, the elder hung up and Chanyeol took a deep breath, feeling some of the weight on his shoulders lightening the slightest. At least one thing was fixed, even if he had to lie at his boss’ face for it to be this way. It was for the better, what Junmyeon wouldn’t know couldn’t hurt him. It was for a great cause too, Chanyeol just had to see the end of this whole memory thing and understand it before being able to talk about it to Junmyeon. It wouldn’t help him at all if he just blurted everything out now. Or at least, that was how he tried convincing himself.

 

Now that silence and darkness were the only things surrounding him, the memory involving a smiling kid and matching bracelets peeked into his mind again. The scene had seemed so peaceful and yet, it only unleashed a bigger storm of confusion in Chanyeol who was tired of all the thinking he had had to do throughout the day. Maybe it was time to rest and leave everything behind to catch up on sleep.

 

His only hope was that Baekhyun would leave him alone in his dreams, both the child in his memories and the enchanting man he was chasing after in the present. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He simply chose to give up on the beer he originally visited the convenience store to buy, not finding it in himself to visit that place again. He would probably just stand in front of that aisle that held the same bracelets Baekhyun and he was wearing and he really didn’t feel like torturing himself even more. He would think back on it tomorrow, once sleep would clear his head a bit. 

 

Chanyeol walked back to his apartment, head swirling with questions and thoughts that he tried not paying too much attention to, even if that was harder to do than he thought. It was just so odd. The way such memories could be triggered out of him when he had no idea where they even came from. He wasn’t even sure how to link them, the only recurrence was Baekhyun. However, he did notice that as time passed, it was somehow clearer. The first memory he had was of that nickname, ‘Light’, and at that time, he couldn’t even place a face on the childish voices in his head. The second memory where he had gotten a beating for Baekhyun was blurry as well, but he had a full context, places and other people, not just the faint memory of a conversation. This third memory was even clearer, he hadn’t even had to question who the child with him was.

 

However, it didn’t make sense. He had so many questions and the answers were so difficult to grasp. 

 

Trying to empty his head, he climbed the staircase leading to his apartment, listening to the echo of his footsteps disturb the otherwise heavy silence in the whole building. His hand reached for the key hidden in his back pocket and he grabbed it, the jingly sound it made welcomed, before he inserted it in the key hole, twisting his wrist to unlock the door only to freeze when he found it impossible to do. The door was already unlocked.

 

He remembered locking it before leaving the house though, he remembered it correctly, he was sure of it. There was no way the lock was broken and would unlock itself either, it worked fine until today. That only left him a single option: someone had broken into his house while he was away.

 

Out of habit, he felt his heartbeat almost slow down, an icy calm settling over him while his hand reached for the gun that was resting against his waist, concealed by his clothes. If there was one thing Chanyeol was proud of, it was the way things could rarely disturb him whenever he was at work, chasing after a target or in the middle of a kill. Baekhyun was the only exception, he guessed. 

 

His fingers tightened around the gun, pointer finger settling against the trigger as he took a defensive stance, his free hand slowly pressing on the doorknob to quietly push the door open. The lights were off, only streetlights clearing his way from outside as he quietly advanced through the entrance hall of his apartment, footsteps muffled and barely audible. In his head, he made a mental list of people who would want to break into his house and set a trap for him. Maybe an enemy, maybe someone else he wouldn’t expect. Whoever it was, Chanyeol wasn’t pleased with the situation and he wouldn’t hesitate before shooting them. 

 

Quietly, he advanced towards the living room, gaze shifting around him, gun still pointed right in front of him. Oddly, he could see that the living room’s lights were on, he was sure of turning them off before leaving the house earlier, therefore, whoever was in his house had left them on. He hoped they weren’t stupid enough to forget to turn it off. 

 

"Welcome home, honey," he heard before he even entered the room and his eyes widened at the familiar voice that dried with sarcasm. It was the second time he was hearing it today.

 

Without lowering his gun, he entered the living room, gaze falling on Baekhyun comfortably sprawled on his couch as if he owned the place. The sight was as infuriating as it was surprising. It was always a mix between two emotions when it came to this man. 

 

"What the hell are you doing here?" he groaned, frowning as he stepped towards the other, gun pointed at him.

 

"I thought one surprise wasn’t enough so I decided to give you a second one. Are you happy?" Baekhyun asked, fluttering his lashes and openly mocking Chanyeol whose finger tightened on the trigger. It would be so easy to shoot him right at that moment, Chanyeol never missed a target and it wouldn’t be the case now either. It would be so easy to kill him. And yet, he simply stopped a feet away from him, not lowering his gun and watching each of the other’s movements.

 

"Usually you disappear for a whole week before surprising me," he snorted, mockingly reusing the other’s own words.

 

"That’s why this is a surprise," he shrugged, still smiling playfully and looking completely relaxed even if Chanyeol had a gun pointed at him. "Usually people don’t react to surprises with a gun though. You’re interesting."

 

"Usually people also shut up when a gun is pointed at them. You’re either really interesting or really stupid," he retorted through gritted teeth. It was so odd how Baekhyun made him feel so many different emotions in such a high level.

 

"You’re not gonna kill me," the shorter simply shrugged, tilting his head.

 

"I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you," he said lowly, voice filled with threats as his fingers clenched around the gun.

 

"Do it then. Shoot me," Baekhyun asked, suddenly straightening and leaning towards Chanyeol the slightest, as if he was offering Chanyeol a better position to shoot him. The latter didn’t move, even if a voice in his head screamed at him to pull the trigger. He simply observed the other through a heated glare, jaw clenching and unclenching continuously. "See, that’s your only flaw, Chanyeol. You get shaken up too easily and you trust people too easily. You should have killed me a long time ago," were Baekhyun’s next nonchalant words and anger surged through Chanyeol’s veins. He was right. And it was irritating. 

 

However, he simply lowered his gun, gaze never leaving the other. He knew Baekhyun’s intention was not to kill him either, therefore, he was not in immediate danger at the moment but he still kept his gun close, just for precaution.

 

"How did you get in here?" he asked instead of replying to the other’s remarks.

 

"Didn’t anyone teach you how to pick a lock in your long years of training to become the _Best Assassin of Seoul?_ " the shorter asked, tone infuriatingly mocking on his last words. However, Chanyeol was unfortunately starting to get used to it and was able not to read too strongly. 

 

"If you didn’t reply to each of my questions with a question of your own, I’m sure I wouldn’t constantly want to burst your brains," he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he moved to sit on the other side of the couch Baekhyun was sitting on.

 

If he were watching this scene from outside, Chanyeol would be laughing at himself. Here he was, sharing a couch with the rival he was asked to kill, the man his entire assassin clan was looking for. In his own house, without even hesitating, after the other had picked the lock and invited himself in. This was yet another perfect occasion to do what Junmyeon had asked him to do and yet, Chanyeol knew that he would let it flee from him, just like he had always done. 

 

However, it felt odd as well. There were so many unsaid things between Baekhyun and him, so many confusing things, and so much built up anger and yet, Chanyeol felt totally comfortable sharing a breathing space with him. It was as if he had done this a thousand times before, he wasn’t even feeling alarmed, he wasn’t prepared to grab his gun at any moment. He felt rather calm, as if this was normal. Bitterly, he supposed that this had been normal at some point in his life.

 

"You seem upset by that. Would you like me to reply to your questions again, Chanyeol-ah? Like the last time we met?" Baekhyun offered, body turned towards Chanyeol’s even if he didn’t make any movement to get closer to him, which Chanyeol was thankful for. He narrowed his eyes, picking up on the suggestive tone he used.

 

"You’re not good at replying to questions. You’re not good at giving me time to ask questions either. You keep disappearing after leaving me in a mess of confusion and frustration," he accused the other. It was odd, so odd how this was happening. He should latch on the other’s neck, squeeze it between his hands until the other would be forced to give him answer. Why couldn’t he just do that? 

 

The image of a small child smiling at him brightly while locking a bracelet around his wrist flashed behind his eyelids when he blinked and Chanyeol remembered exactly why he couldn’t be his usual self. 

 

"You do sound really upset," the other’s amused chuckle pulled him out of his thoughts. "Fine, today there isn’t going to be any game. You look exhausted," he noted and Chanyeol could have almost mistook his tone for a concerned one if not for the bright amused glint sparkling in his dark eyes.

 

"Really?" the taller snorted, raising a brow.

 

"Yes. How about this? We’ll each ask the other questions one by one. Let’s answer them as honestly as possible. Is that alright, Chanyeol-ah?" the other asked, suddenly becoming serious.

 

Chanyeol simply observed the other for a few silent seconds, trying to decide whether he should simply kick him out of his house or accept this dangerous offer. It is a dangerous one, because Chanyeol knows it could end with him being even more confused once they would be done with their questions. And the other would ask him things too, that had never been in his plans. However, did he really have the choice? He was desperate for answers and he’d take whatever he could.

 

"Why are you calling me ‘Chanyeol-ah’ so casually?" he settled on asking, wanting to start with something simple. 

 

"You like it," Baekhyun shrugged, a light smile on his lips. Chanyeol frowned.

 

"How do you even know I-"

 

"It’s my turn, you asked your question," the other interrupted him and Chanyeol frowned but quieted down. "Did your boss ask you to kill me?"

 

That was a surprising question, Chanyeol was not expecting it. "Obviously," he simply said, deciding not to lie. "Are you working alone?" he then asked, knowing that it would be an important information.

 

"I work solo, I’m always alone during kills," he replied on the beat and Chanyeol’s frown deepened.

 

"Yeah but do you have someone who-"

 

"Nope, you keep trying to cheat," the other cut him off again and Chanyeol took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. He knew this would be useless, Baekhyun kept changing the meaning of his questions.

 

However, before he even had the occasion to protest, Baekhyun suddenly moved closer to him, sitting right next to him and only leaving an inch between their bodies. Instantly, Chanyeol tensed, watching the other closely to try and understand what his intentions were. Baekhyun didn’t do anything though, he simply looked at Chanyeol, completely serious for the first time since they started this question game.

 

"Why didn't you kill me? Even now, it would be so easy for you to kill me and yet, you’re not doing it. Why?" he questioned, voice low. Chanyeol could almost feel his breath tickle his cheek. That was a difficult question, one he had asked himself numerous times, one he had pondered on during sleepless nights.

 

"I don’t know," he replied, honestly. "I just can’t bring myself to do it, even if I know I should do it." The other seemed to have appreciated his answer and Chanyeol was offered the sight of a light smile. It was smaller than usual but it was still as good-looking and much more sincere than an amused smirk. When Baekhyun stayed silent, Chanyeol asked a question of his own. "Why were you so sure I wouldn’t kill you?" There was no way for the other to completely be sure about it before Chanyeol told him a few seconds ago.

 

"You’d never hurt me on purpose," was the confident reply the other gave him and something in Chanyeol’s chest clenched. "How do you know my name? You used it that night at the warehouse."

 

This question could have been a stupid one but Chanyeol knew no one had ever been able to find Light’s real name. "I think I… remembered it," he said and Baekhyun leaned closer. Too close. This was odd. This was unnecessary and he didn’t know why their voices had lowered so much until they were whispering. He didn’t know why he felt so weird either. He took in a shaky breath before continuing. "In a memory of two kids talking about a nickname. I wasn’t sure it was you but I used it and you didn’t react in any way to show me it was not your name so I assumed that it really is your name." 

 

His gaze never once left Baekhyun’s face as he explained the situation to him so it was impossible for Chanyeol to miss the surge of emotion that momentarily brightened the other’s eyes. He was difficult to read but Chanyeol was a good observer and he had learned to recognize different emotions. Baekhyun’s eyes were filled with different ones, it changed gradually as Chanyeol spoke. First there was surprise, as if he wasn’t expecting this answer, then something close to sadness, maybe nostalgia at the mention of the memory, followed by a tiny glimmer of joy that was wiped away by a curtain of darkness. 

 

While Chanyeol had been busy pondering over whatever could be going in Baekhyun’s head, the latter had only inched closer, his breath tickling Chanyeol’s face as he felt his warmth press against   him. Baekhyun was completely facing him, sitting on his knees as he leaned close to Chanyeol, gaze locking into the latter’s, as if his eyes were a key made to fit nothing other than Chanyeol’s eyes, able to unlock the windows to his soul. 

 

He hated having Baekhyun so close to him. Each time that happened, his heartbeat picked up from adrenaline, his breath hitched, and his mind became hazy. It was impossible to focus on anything else than Baekhyun.

 

"Why did you have sex with me?" the shorter suddenly asked and he almost felt relieved, it was as if they had toed around this topic for too long. And that was a good question. Even if it was not Baekhyun’s turn to ask.

 

"I don’t know," he whispered, gaze dropping to take in the shape of the other’s lips, as if his eyes were naturally pulled towards his pink flesh. "You’re just so beautiful, so small, and so attractive, I just…" he tried explaining himself, words fleeing from his mouth without his own permission. He hated the effect Baekhyun had on him. "I just feel so different with you. I don’t know what you’re doing to me and I hate it, I really do, but I can’t even push you away. I can’t do anything, you make me feel so weird and I just get lost in you. I do things before even realizing I’m doing them. It’s your fault," he blamed the other, hypnotized by the way Baekhyun’s lips quirked up a bit, a smile threatening to break out. However, Baekhyun prevented it, sinking his teeth into the plushy flesh of his lower lip. Fire spread through Chanyeol’s veins at the sight. 

 

"I’m glad to hear that," Baekhyun simply said, eyes sparkling as he looked at Chanyeol with an odd glint in his his irises. Was it sorrow?

 

"Baekhyun," he called out, the name rolling on his tongue like a plead. A hand cupped Baekhyun’s cheek and it took Chanyeol a second to realize it was his own hand and another second to realize Baekhyun was leaning into his touch, eyelids fluttering shut for a second before his two blackened suns offered their dark light to Chanyeol again. He felt himself drowning in Baekhyun’s eyes. "Why do you seem like someone I’ve always known?" he whispered, almost, _almost,_ feeling the texture of Baekhyun’s lips against his while doing so. They were so close and yet they were not even touching. Chanyeol found himself yearning to fix that. 

 

"Maybe that’s what I am," were the words whispered against his lips, he felt soft flesh brush his, as fleeting as a ray of sunlight reflecting on a butterfly’s wings. Chanyeol exhaled. He took the other’s reply as a confirmation. Baekhyun was someone he had always known and he was somehow already aware of that fact, thanks to the few memories, but it was different to hear it from his own mouth.

 

"What should I remember?" he then asked, brushing his question against Baekhyun’s lips, and this time, the latter didn’t interrupt him to tell him he was cheating. On the contrary, he looked rather shaken as well, eyes hooded as he shared his breath with Chanyeol. 

 

"What do you want to remember?" the other asked back before pushing his lips against Chanyeol’s, couplets barely brushing together and yet, an electric shock jolted to the taller’s heart.

 

"You," Chanyeol whispered, mumbled against Baekhyun’s lips breathlessly.

 

Before any other word was uttered, Chanyeol finally put an end to his own torture and pressed his lips firmly against Baekhyun’s, savoring their texture, the taste of sorrow and fleeing memories invading his mouth when he pulled his lower lip into his warm cavern. His thumb brushed over the shorter’s cheekbone, gently, as if he was caressing a precious fabric that was as soft as silk under his finger pad. His other hand traveled down Baekhyun’s body and he felt him whimper into the kiss when he guided him on his lap, pushing on his lower back to press their chests together. He wasn’t sure whether it was his heart he felt beating crazily in his chest or Baekhyun’s but it was fast, faster than Chanyeol had ever experienced before. 

 

He felt arms gently snaking around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair as his lips moved in synch with Baekhyun’s in a kiss filled with longing and frustration, their tongues embracing each other and communicating through an agitated dance. Their slick muscles moving together, against each other, like two lovers that weren’t sure whether they wanted to embrace each other or push each other away in a moment of anger. 

 

Chanyeol poured his frustration into their lip lock, emotions explained through the curves of his tongue against Baekhyun’s. It was odd. He was kissing the child he had taken a beating for in the past. It was not supposed to fit, the events that happened between that day in the past and this kiss were missing from Chanyeol’s memory and yet, it felt so right to hold Baekhyun like this, to kiss him and let himself get lost with him. 

 

When breathing was become too difficult, Chanyeol broke the kiss, reluctantly, and kept his eyes closed, chest heaving up and down as he felt himself on the verge of shaking. He was reacting so weirdly but he could feel Baekhyun shaking under his hands and it comforted him. He wasn’t the only one feelings everything on such a high level. 

 

His eyes fluttered open only a few seconds later, his broken breath mixing in with Baekhyun as the other had not moved away and his lips were still so close to Chanyeol. It would be so easy for him to lean down and kiss him again and yet, the look on Baekhyun’s face prevented him from moving.

 

"Chanyeol," he whispered and it was the first time Chanyeol’s name had sounded like a heart wrenching plead to him. "Remember me. Please, just remember me," the other begged him, the request so familiar now. 

 

Pain stabbed at Chanyeol’s heart and he froze, unable to do anything as he looked at Baekhyun. He was looking at Chanyeol with such a deep sadness in his eyes, dark orbs filled with pleads and emotions as he looked at Chanyeol, so vulnerable and defenseless. Like a child abandoned to deal with his harsh fate on his own, betrayed.

 

"Baekhyun," he whispered and he wanted to scream at the other that he was _trying._ He was doing his best to remember whatever had had forgotten but it was so difficult and he didn’t know how to do it, he wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to proceed. And God knew how much he yearned to remember everything, despite not knowing how he had forgotten in the first place. 

 

The call of his name seemed to snap Baekhyun out of his feelings and his features hardened before he was gone from Chanyeol’s lap the next second, standing in front of him instead.

 

"Where are you going?" Chanyeol immediately asked, moving to stand up too. They were not done. He had so many things to ask. He had so many things to understand. He had to understand who Baekhyun was and why it was so easy for him to mess Chanyeol up.

 

"Our time’s up, Chanyeol-ah," Baekhyun simply shrugged, features pulled into a neutral expression.

 

"What? No! I have so many things to ask, you can’t just fucking disappear again," he protested, standing up and moving to grab the other’s arm. However, Baekhyun swiftly moved out of his reach, stepping back.

 

"Stop focusing on a single thing so much, Chanyeol. Pay attention to your surroundings," he warned the other as Chanyeol watched him drag his feet back on the floor, as if it was difficult for him to get away from Chanyeol. Once again, Chanyeol froze while listening to confusing words, still not out of the daze Baekhyun’s lips had put him into.

 

"I am paying attention to my surroundings. You’re just too difficult to find, if you just accepted explaining things to me properly, maybe I wouldn’t be so-"

 

"Pay more attention. Especially to the people closest to you, the ones you trust the most."

 

Chanyeol stopped at those words, giving up on catching the other who was only getting closer to the door.

 

"What do you mean?" he called out but Baekhyun simply turned his back to him and walked out, heading towards the exit and leaving his question unanswered. Chanyeol hoped for a reply but the only thing given to him was the slam of a door.

 

And just like that, Baekhyun was gone, as easily as the light disappearing once night started setting up its blanket over the sky.


	8. Chapter Eight

If you were to ask Chanyeol to find his most useful feature, there would be many options to choose from, his quietness, his skills as an assassin, or even his ability to stay calm throughout the most twisted situations. However, he wouldn’t name any of those. For him, his best feature would be his loyalty.

 

In his field of work, rare were people who’d be able to call themselves loyal. Could you really stay loyal to your peers in an environment flowing with money, power, and violence? It would be difficult, greed and envy were so good at invading human’s mind and clouding it with each passing second, it was only natural for someone to be consumed by it and fall into the seductive trap of betrayal. That was even the core of his job as an assassin, many of his clients were people who wanted to get rid of an old friend who was starting to become too overbearing or an ally that was starting to turn way too selfish. It wasn’t rare for people to ask for their lovers to be killed only with the inheritance in mind, sons, brothers, jealous sisters… Everyone had the potential to betray a person they were supposed to love and protect.

 

However, Chanyeol would confidently call himself loyal.

 

There was only a few selected people he’d nurture this feeling of loyalty towards  but it was a thick, unbreakable feeling. People he considered as family were the members of Venom, Jongin, his best friend and brother, Jongdae the friend he appreciated in spite of his weird tendencies, Minseok whom he rarely ever communicated with but whose silence and calm were more comforting than many things, and Junmyeon, the man who made him into everything he was today, the elder brother and fatherly figure that kept all of them together and made sure to _never leave anyone behind._ This had been one of Chanyeol’s first lessons, loyalty. 

 

And somehow, those words never managed to leave Chanyeol’s mind, even if it had been ten years since he had first heard them. He had been trained this way, he had been taught to fight while always keeping his eyes on the enemy  and his ears on his allies, waiting to pick up any call for help. He was never to leave a brother for dead, unless an extreme situation called for it. All of them were brought up this way, Junmyeon had taught them to always keep an eye on each other, always help each other, always put each other first before personal interest. That was how a perfect team worked, there was no place for selfishness. Venom came first, before anything, money, fame, power, weak feelings such as love. Looking at the current results, Chanyeol would say that Junmyeon had been able to forge a perfect team.

 

It was in Chanyeol’s nature to be loyal and he’d never, ever think of betraying people he had grown up with, people he had fought alongside with. Venom was his family and he’d never betray them or suspect any of them of betraying him.

 

Therefore, the words uttered by Baekhyun merely two days ago were hard to process.

 

_"Pay more attention. Especially to the people closest to you, the ones you trust the most."_

 

Those were the words uttered by Baekhyun right before he disappeared once again, leaving Chanyeol in yet another storm of confusion. 

 

He had obviously targeted the members of Venom, there was no one else that was close enough to Chanyeol to be able to ever betray him, there was no one else the assassin trusted. However, why would he imply something like that? It didn’t make sense, there was no way any of them would ever betray Chanyeol. Why would they? They were each other’s only family.

 

Jongin would never do such a thing, they had chosen to call each other ‘brother’ many years ago and Chanyeol knew nothing would ever change that. Jongdae might have been a sadistic psycho but he was the first one to get rid of anyone who’d offer him a big sum of money in exchange of betraying Venom. Minseok had been here since day one, he had always been in Junmyeon’s shadow and he would be the last person to come to Chanyeol’s mind if he were to think of someone who’d ever betray Venom. Junmyeon was out of the question, he was one of the persons Chanyeol trusted with his life but why should he be careful of him? The elder had done so much for him, Chanyeol owed him his life.

 

Maybe this was just yet another of Baekhyun’s mindgames? Maybe he had only said that to confuse Chanyeol and prevent him from following him that day. That was the only possible explanation. Why would Chanyeol trust Baekhyun anyway? Sure, he was someone who happened to be an important person of his past whom he had forgotten but everything about this was fishy. It would be much easier for Baekhyun to just reveal everything to him instead of laying out enigmas and puzzles for Chanyeol to solve. Moreover, trusting someone who had stabbed you on your first meeting would be a mistake. Which made Chanyeol wonder why he was having such a hard time hurting Baekhyun when the latter had had no problem attempting to murder him that day.

 

Sighing, he shook his head in an attempt to empty his head from those unnecessary elaborations. Now was not the right time for him to try solving the mystery that was Baekhyun. 

 

He parked his car a few seconds later, stopping the engine a few feet away from the abandoned warehouse Jongdae was waiting for him in and trailing his gaze over his surroundings. It was in a remote part of the city, right next to an old construction site that had been forgotten years ago. It was quite similar to the warehouse he had met with Baekhyun in weeks ago.

 

Realizing what trail his thoughts were starting to take, he sighed again and immediately left his car, the cold wind slapping him in the face as if nature knew that was exactly what Chanyeol needed at the moment. He glanced at the car parked next to the old building, figuring that it must have been the target’s, Jongdae had probably used his car to drive here. If he remembered correctly, this mission was about finding out what a rival assassin clan were planning about them, Jongin had heard in the streets that they were planning to attack Venom and Jongdae simply had to kidnap one of their members and torture the information out of them. Chanyeol was not really needed here, Jongdae was experienced enough to deal with this on his own but he volunteered to drive the other back to his house after this since he went in without his own car. Chanyeol had jumped on the occasion after Junmyeon had mentioned him, dying to find anything to keep his mind off parasite thoughts since he had nothing scheduled for next few days for now.

 

Pushing the door open, he went in, immediately catching on the faint pained whimpers that came from somewhere deeper in the building and the harsh smell of gasoline that seemed to wrap all around him. Scrunching his nose in distaste, he walked in deeper, taking a few turns until he reached the room Jongdae and the target were in.

 

"I see I arrived just in time," he called out while entering the room, gaze falling on a man tied up to a chair, surrounded by a pool of his own blood. 

 

He was barely alive, chest heaving up and down in a slow rhythm, shirt ripped into shreds, blood continuously oozing from his mouth. Chanyeol supposed he had a few teeth missing, judging by the small white things he could see on the ground, he wouldn’t be surprised to see a few missing fingers as well but he chose not to look at him in detail. Instead, he looked to his side where Jongdae was settled on another chair, fingers drumming in his phone.

 

"Finally, I’ve been waiting since Junmyeon messaged me," he complained without even looking up from his phone.

 

"Well, I can see that you were not bored while waiting for me," Chanyeol snorted, walking to him. "Did you get the information we wanted?"

 

"Yep," the other replied, popping the last sound and finally looking up at Chanyeol. He had a wild glint in his eyes, lips curved into a wide grin. The taller recognized the look Jongdae usually sported after spending a few hours torturing someone. "They were planning to explode the building where the party Jongin and Junmyeon were supposed to go to next week was gonna be held. They were going to go undercover to collect information and this fucker," he said, nodding towards the barely alive man, "he said they were already preparing the explosives."

 

"That’s boring," Chanyeol simply commented, having heard this scenario a dozen times already. It was not the first time someone was trying to get rid of Venom.

 

"I know right, but at least now we can prevent it. Minseok and Junmyeon are gonna take care of it personally," Jongdae shrugged, standing up and stretching. There was blood on his shirt and Chanyeol didn’t even budge a finger at the usual sight.

 

"Ready to go?" he asked instead.

 

"Yeah, lemme just pour this shit all over here. I waited for you to be here before doing it," he informed the taller while leaning down to grab the red container on the floor, liquid sloshing inside as the smell of gasoline only grew stronger.

 

"You’re going to burn the place?"

 

"Yeah, to get rid of any evidence. We don’t want his friends to find him and suspect anything before we surprise them first. I already poured some in other rooms but stopped when I was told I was appointed a personal driver," he grinned playfully while looking at Chanyeol who snorted.

 

"I came here to make sure you wouldn’t fuck up and kill him before getting the information we need. The boss doesn’t trust you, I guess," he teased back, knowing that it was not true.

 

"Never upset someone who’s holding a lighter and gasoline in his hands, Chanyeol," Jongdae said in a dark voice while pouring the liquid all over the room and around the target. Had it been anyone else, they would have ran out of here but Chanyeol was able to discern the hints of amusement in his friend’s voice. "Are you thirsty, dude?" Jongdae then asked the tied man, holding out the container to him as if he wasn’t offering him something that could poison him. Not that it would change anything, he was going to die either way. Of course, Jongdae had to show off unnecessarily.

 

"You’d miss me if you killed me though," he entertained Jongdae, stepping back to get out of the room.

 

"I wouldn’t. You and Jongin keep snatching all the ladies with your handsome faces, I’m dying to get rid of the competition but I guess the boss wouldn’t be happy with it. Though, he probably needs to get laid too since he’s always so uptight, I would probably only make it easier for him too but well," Jongdae ranted playfully while pouring a trail of gasoline in front of him, stepping back out of the room. Chanyeol simply chuckled softly and they continued bickering while heading out of the warehouse, a trail of gasoline following them out.

 

Once outside, Jongdae poured the remaining of the product on the car before throwing the now empty container into the warehouse and reaching for his lighter. He snapped the lid open before lighting up a flame with a flick of his thumb.

 

"Step back. I wouldn’t want you to feel hotter than you probably already do."

 

Chanyeol simply snorted in reply before stepping away to stand next to his car instead, a few feet away from what was going to turn into hell in a few seconds.

 

Once Jongdae made sure that Chanyeol was a safe distance away, he gently threw the lighter into the warehouse and a mere seconds later, the small flame turned into a wider one, red waves crashing against the gasoline and spreading further inside, engulfing the entire building and spreading to the car in a matter of seconds. What was an abandoned building a few seconds ago was now turned into what looked painful and fitting enough to be a part of a painting showcasing Hell and its deepest corners.

 

And Chanyeol watched all of it unfold in front of him, fascinated as flames danced a few feet away from him, reflecting in his irises. He felt the wind carrying the warmth of the fire to him, gently caressing his skin as he observed its source, small parts of the warehouse already staring to crumble, losing strength under the furious attacks of the flames. He heard Jongdae stepping to stand next to him, an almost maniac chuckle reaching Chanyeol’s ear, but he didn’t take his eyes off the fire.

 

Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to look away, thoughts slowly slipping away, mind slowly closing off as if clouded by the threateningly dark smoke that oozed from the flames in front of him. It was hot. Too hot. And somehow, he felt much closer to the fire than he was. It was as if the smoke was directly seeping into his lungs instead of disappearing up into the dark sky. 

 

When he started growing breathless, the thought that maybe it wasn’t only an impression lighted up in his mind but it was shut down when a quick glance to Jongdae showed him that the other was entirely okay. They were far enough from the building not to be in danger of asphyxiation. And yet, his chest heaved up and down and he was almost wheezing. He blinked when his vision started getting blurry, as if he was close enough to the fire to feel its warmth melt his sight away. A hand grasped his clothes, right where he felt his heart clenching and it took him a second to realize that it was his own hand.

 

Gaze still locked in the burning warehouse, a cough escaped his lips, followed by another, and another that opened the way for a long fit of coughing. He felt smoke invade his lungs and it didn’t make sense because he was far enough from the fire but he couldn’t _breath._ His legs weakened, he felt them wobble under his weight and panic stabbed him in the heart, coldly, contrasting with the warm wind that caressed his cheeks. He wasn’t sure why he was panicking but he felt the feeling grow stronger with each passing second and in a desperate attempt to get a grip of himself, he reached out with his other hand, trying to hold onto something that would keep him on his feet. 

 

However, nothing grabbed his hand and the next thing he felt was his knees hitting the ground, eyes closing as dizziness seemed to squeeze around his brain, throat sore from continuously coughing.

 

When he tried opening his eyes again, he was a young, desperate child.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Hot._

 

_It was too hot._

 

_Flames were dancing right in front of him. Red. Like the blood he could see on the floor, at his feet._

 

_Hot. He was burning._

 

_It wasn’t his skin though. Was it? No._

 

_His heart was in flames as he watched the fire engulfing the house in front of him._

 

_He wanted to throw himself into the house. He had to. He had to go in there and save them. Him? Them? He couldn’t see, it was blurry. Tears were trailing down his cheeks. He wished they would be enough to stop the fire._

 

_It wouldn’t be. It was too big. It was too hot. He was suffocating. Coughing. His throat hurt._

 

_He shouldn’t focus on the pain though. Why? Because he had to go in. He had to. Before it was too late._

 

_However, he couldn’t. Something was holding him back. Something strong._

 

_He looked over his shoulder, throwing an angry and pleading look._

 

_Men. They were holding onto him. They were stronger than him, bigger. They wouldn’t let go of him. He coughed._

 

_Laughter. Someone laughed behind him._

 

 _He couldn’t stay still._ He _couldn’t get hurt. Chanyeol couldn’t let it happen. He had promised._

 

_He struggled against the hold around him._

 

_He had to do something._

 

_He had to stop it._

 

_He had promised._

 

_He felt his heart ripping into pieces._

 

_Someone was screaming._

 

_"Baekhyun!"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Chanyeol!" he heard and this time, the voice didn’t belong to him.

 

He coughed again, trying to focus on the tight grip on his shoulder, focusing on it and doing his best to clear his head away. He felt someone shaking him and he let out a groan, it was making it more difficult for him to focus on his breathing so he trying pulling away from that hold. He heard his name again and slowly, he felt the non-existent smoke seep away from his lungs and mind. He took a deep breath, temples throbing with the lingering headache that that memory had left. 

 

This one had been odd. It was so confusing and already, Chanyeol felt it slip away from his grasp, it was already difficult to make out what had really happened in the small scene that his mind had decided to slap him with in an unexpected situation. Opening his eyes, he looked in front of him, observing the warehouse that was still shrouded by red flames. 

 

The fire had triggered that memory, he rarely remembered anything on his own, it had to be triggered and he wondered how deep inside of his mind everything was buried. Why couldn’t he remember on his own? Why had this memory been so blurry and incomprehensible when what he remembered before had been so easy to understand, unfolding in his mind like a movie that he was forced to watch, without any missing scenes? It was confusing. Everything about it was. Why had he been facing a fire? Why were men holding him back while laughing? Who had he been desperate to save? Baekhyun? Baekhyun was okay though, he was alive and well today. There weren’t even any burn scars on his skin from what he remembered.

 

"Chanyeol, dude, I don’t have all day. Are you about to pass out or not?"

 

The sudden annoyed voice that sounded too close to Chanyeol finally pulled him out of his frenzy and he looked to his side to see Jongdae, crouched down next to him and looking at him with a glint of worry behind the impatience in his eyes. 

 

"I’m fine," he croaked out, throat slightly sore from coughing too much.

 

"Are you sure?" Jongdae asked, standing up and holding a hand out to Chanyeol who grabbed it and used his friend’s pull to stand up as well. "I thought you were passing out. Which you probably did, your eyes were closed but you kept coughing."

 

"I don’t know what happened either," Chanyeol said, avoiding Jongdae’s gaze by focusing on dusting the dirt off his knees. "Maybe it was because of the fire."

 

"Nothing happened to me though, we are far enough from the flames. And it’s not like this is the first time you saw a building burning down," Jongdae commented, observing him. He might be an annoying asshole most of the time but Chanyeol knew Jongdae still cared about him.

 

"I don’t know," he breathed out before inhaling slowly. "Maybe I was just tired. It doesn’t matter, I’m okay now," he brushed the other off, not wanting to elaborate on what happened when even he didn’t know why he had reacted that way. He usually didn’t get sick when remembering something. Jongdae was still observing him though, with narrowed eyes that let him know he wasn’t willing to let go of this topic. "I’m okay, really! Let’s just go before anyone notices the fire and comes looking for what’s wrong."

 

"Fine," the shorter finally conceded. "You should call Yixing to check up on you once you’re home."

 

"No need to do that, Jongdae. I told you I’m fine," the taller shook his head before stepping away to head towards the driver’s seat while taking the car keys out of his jacket’s pocket. However, a firm grip on his wrist stopped him and he turned around, frowning at his friend. "I told you it’s nothing-"

 

"You think I’ll let you drive me around in this state? I know I told you we were rivals earlier but that’s not a reason for you to try killing me," Jongdae snorted, snatching the keys away from Chanyeol’s hand. "I’ll drive at least until my house, it’ll give you time to get yourself together," he continued before stepping around Chanyeol and walking to settle in the driver’s seat.

 

Chanyeol simply sighed, not in the mood to be amused by Jongdae’s antics and got in the car as well, head filled with confused thoughts that he had a hard time sorting out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night, Chanyeol oddly felt exhausted, despite not doing much during the day besides witnessing Jongdae’s pyromaniac tendencies. However, he supposed that that memory had taken its toll on him, his head had been buzzing with a slight headache ever since he had hopped in the car with Jongdae and nothing had been able to take the pain away. It probably also didn’t help that he had been replaying bits and pieces of that odd memory in his head the whole evening. It was difficult remembering the whole of it and adding to that the fact that it was already a blurry memory, it was even more difficult to comprehend it. 

 

It didn’t really make sense. It had close to no link to any memory he had remembered lately, Baekhyun had not even been part of it while he had an important role in each of the previous memories Chanyeol had of their childhood. He had only screamed Baekhyun’s name while trying to throw himself into a house that was getting devoured by flames. Moreover, nothing had happened to Baekhyun in that fire since the latter was rather healthy and lethal right now.

 

Either way, Chanyeol hadn’t been able to find the strength to dwell on those thoughts for long and had gone to bed as soon as he had reached his house, collapsing on his bed and letting the suffocating silence of his apartment sing him to sleep. At least, he had been able to pass out almost immediately and he supposed that he really had been exhausted, each of his limbs had felt heavier than ever ever since they had left the warehouse. His slumber had been filled with flashes of fire and sounds of dark laughter but he had been able to rest nonetheless and once morning came, his head was free from any knots of confusion that his bundle of thoughts had formed.

 

Before he even had time to throw himself into any other long elaboration on the matter however, his phone had chimed with a new message as soon as he opened his eyes and a grunt escaped his lips as he reached for the device. He had nothing scheduled for today and he had been planning to spend the day inside while watching television to chase the silence of his house away. If Jongin had sent him yet another stupid video of cute puppies this early in the morning, he’d block his number.

 

However, to his surprise, the message wasn’t from his best friend but from Junmyeon who was asking him if he wanted to get lunch with him. That was not unusual but Junmyeon never made impromptu plans, he always made sure to ask Chanyeol the day before if he wanted to have lunch with him and the fact that it was already nearing eleven o’clock only made things more suspicious. Jongdae had probably told Junmyeon what had happened last night while reporting to him this morning.

 

Sighing, he replied to the elder’s message with a confirmation albeit reluctantly as he wasn’t sure how he was going to reply to Junmyeon’s questions. He couldn’t tell him that it happened because of a triggered memory, it would require him to explain everything that had happened between him and Baekhyun and he couldn’t do that. Not agreeing to his plans would only make him more worried though and Chanyeol knew that it would only make Junmyeon pry further. Instead, he decided to reply to his questions as honestly as possible without breaching the subject of the memories Baekhyun wanted him to find back.

 

Why couldn’t he tell Junmyeon about it though? Apart from the fact that they were supposed to get rid of Light, there was nothing that should make him so reluctant to explain everything to Junmyeon. Then he remembered Baekhyun’s words. _"Pay more attention. Especially to the people closest to you, the ones you trust the most."_ Chanyeol knew that, unconsciously, those words were what kept him from telling anything to Junmyeon, no matter how much he hated keeping things from the latter.

 

Tired of once again getting lost in the same cycle of thoughts, Chanyeol threw the blanket away from his body and stood up to get ready. He had to meet Junmyeon in a little less than an hour and he didn’t want to be late.

 

Figuring that Junmyeon wouldn’t take him to some shabby restaurant, Chanyeol put some efforts into his outfit even if he would never go as far as wearing a suit the same way Junmyeon did it everyday. It was such a burden and as someone who had the habit of running over rooftops daily, it was useless for Chanyeol to even bother trying to fit into an expensive suit. However, that wasn’t Junmyeon’s case. Venom’s leader never really went into the fields, he simply took care of booking clients and directing everyone to do their jobs, he had stopped running on rooftops the same way Chanyeol did now a long time ago. He focused on showing off his money instead of that they were probably going to eat in a really expensive restaurant Chanyeol couldn’t even pronounce the name of.

 

Not that he minded, besides the people covered in suits, the food was good. Therefore, he made sure to wear clean clothes, all black out of habit. A simple button up shirt, skinny jeans, and a leather jacket would probably do, he made sure not to wear ripped jeans and that should be enough already. After washing up a bit and running his fingers through his tousled hair, he grabbed his phone and car keys before heading out of his apartment building.

 

The drive there wasn’t long and he managed to arrive right on time. Junmyeon had the habit of arriving ‘fashionably late’ to every business related meeting but he always arrived on time when it had to do with Venom, both for work related stuff and personal meetings such as this one. Therefore, it hadn’t been a surprise to see Junmyeon already waiting for him inside the restaurant, settled at a table on the corner of the room, far enough from everyone else. 

 

Upon seeing Chanyeol approaching, the elder stood up from his seat, letting go of his glass of water and smiling up at Chanyeol instead.

 

"Chanyeol," he greeted the latter, giving him a quick hug coupled with a soft pat on his back before letting go and gesturing him to sit down.

 

"Hi, hyung," Chanyeol said back, settling on the comfortable chair. "How are you?" It hadn’t been long since they last saw each other but whenever they met at Junmyeon’s house, they talked nothing business.

 

"I’m great, as always. Nothing really changes about me, you know that," the other shrugged before looking up at a waiter that instantly appeared by their side, ready to take their orders.

 

Used to those expensive restaurant trips with Junmyeon, Chanyeol had no trouble choosing off whatever he wanted to eat and once their orders had been placed, he took his glass of water, sipping on it as he looked around, a comfortable silence settling over them. Junmyeon was not as talkative as Jongin or Jongdae but he was not as quiet as Minseok either, he was a perfect balance between comfortable silence and conversation and he was so familiar. 

 

"You chose yet another expensive restaurant, hyung. I’m starting to think that you’re practicing your seduction skills on us all," he commented playfully, referring to the fact that Junmyeon loved feeding them all expensive meat.

 

"Don’t be an ungrateful brat," Junmyeon chuckled quietly. "My seduction skills are on point, there’s no need to practice. Moreover, I don’t take all of you to expensive restaurants. Jongdae treats himself to whatever he wants with a different pretty lady hanging off his arm each time and Minseok take less than ten minutes to finish a meal."

 

"I’ll tell Jongin that we should feel honored then," Chanyeol laughed softly and just like that they engaged in small talk, savoring the delicious meal that the waiter placed in front of them only a few minutes later.

 

Talking with Junmyeon had always been easy, he wouldn’t share with him everything the same way he does with Jongin but it was different with the elder, he was more serious and he was more of an adult than any of them really was. Junmyeon was always taking on a harsh and cold attitude whenever they were dealing with work-related stuff but once he was outside of Venom’s borders, he was more casual, comfortable to be with and he wasn’t boring either, in spite of the rare lame jokes he loved to make just to see Chanyeol cringe. His presence was something Chanyeol had felt for ten long years and nothing could replace it.

 

"I heard from Jongdae that you were sick yesterday," Junmyeon said after long minutes of casual talk, focused on transferring the carrots from his plate to Chanyeol’s since he didn’t like it and Chanyeol was never a picky eater.

 

"Yeah," Chanyeol sighed, not surprised that the topic he dreaded was finally brought up. "Well, I wasn’t really sick per say, I just got dizzy for a few minutes."

 

"You’re feeling better now though, right?" the elder asked worriedly, frowning a bit.

 

"Yeah, I’m totally fine now. I guess I was just tired, I slept a lot and it’s okay now."

 

"You should have called Yixing to check up on you. Do you want me to ask him to see you tonight?"

 

"No, there’s no need, hyung. I’m all great now," he reassured the shorter.

 

"What really happened though? Jongdae told me he had put fire to the warehouse when it happened. Was it because of that?" Junmyeon questioned him, taking a sip of water.

 

"I thought it was but nothing happened to Jongdae so I guess it was a mix of the smoke plus exhaustion?" he replied after taking the time to slowly chew his food while carefully choosing his words.

 

"It’s not the first time you’ve been near a building on fire though, that’s odd. You should really rest more. Are you sure you don’t want me to call Yixing for you?" Junmyeon asked once again, all of his attention on Chanyeol as he stopped eating.

 

"Hyung," Chanyeol chuckled softly, hoping it didn’t sound like a nervous one. "I’m not a defenseless kid, I can take care of myself."

 

"Right," Junmyeon let out a bashful chuckle, looking down to scoop rice into his spoon. "I guess I keep forgetting you’re not fourteen anymore."

 

"I thought my height was a good reminder," Chanyeol teased, a bit more relaxed now that Junmyeon was willing to drop the topic.

 

"It is," Junmyeon narrowed his eyes at him before shrugging. "I guess it just feels like yesterday when I found you in the streets, beaten up and unconscious. Can you believe it has been exactly ten years?" Junmyeon asked, gaze lost somewhere on the table as if he was reminiscing the past.

 

"It does feel like yesterday," Chanyeol nodded, looking down at his plate as he too reminisced that lucky day. It had been a while since that subject had last been mentioned.

 

"You looked so defenseless there, on the streets. You were so young too, only fourteen and it was a relief I was passing by that street and found you before you lost too much blood or froze to death," Junmyeon sighed, as if he didn’t like the images running in his head.

 

"I don’t remember much of that day," Chanyeol explained, "but I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t found me there." Maybe he would have died, frozen to death and forgotten.

 

"I might be an assassin but I’m not totally heartless either, I guess I had a soft spot for children," Junmyeon chuckled. "Though, I didn’t really think of keeping you at first. I just thought I’d do a good deed to make up for all the lives I’d taken by saving one instead, you know."

 

"I don’t think saving one life could make up for taking away a hundred others," Chanyeol smiled, a bit amused.

 

"I guess I didn’t think of that. I was thinking of just leaving you at the hospital after making sure you were okay but then you told me you didn’t remember anything at all," Junmyeon continued and Chanyeol froze, holding his glass right against his lips as he was about to take a sip of water. "Nothing about what happened or how you ended up in that state, nor who you were, where you were coming from. You only knew your name. You looked so distressed, so panicked, and you didn’t even know why. I guess you were left to deal with your own fate."

 

It had slipped his mind. The fact that when he was fourteen, Chanyeol had lost all memories. He had been so caught up in everything, he had done his best to train properly with Junmyeon for years, to merge nicely with the rest of Venom’s members. He had felt so welcomed with Junmyeon that at some point, he had forgotten that he had lost his memories, it was something they never talked about and it was something Chanyeol had hated for years at first but eventually, the way Venom became his family made up for the lack of memories of an _actual_ family and eventually, it had slipped his mind, it had stopped mattering. It felt as if he had been with Junmyeon since the day he was born, the elder was that much of a fatherly figure to him.

 

It made sense now. How had he not thought about this before? How could he have let this important piece of information slip from his mind? How had he not been able to link that to Baekhyun right away? It made sense now, where the memories about Baekhyun were coming from. How did he get so caught up in the whole situation that he stupidly couldn’t link Baekhyun to what had happened when he was fourteen? He was stupid. So damn stupid.

 

"I guess fate brought us together," he chuckled awkwardly, still slightly shaken up by the realization. "I actually forgot that I had forgotten my life before meeting you. Isn’t that ironic?"

 

"I guess so," Junmyeon shrugged, neatly cutting up a piece of meat before bringing it to his mouth. "But that mean you never felt the need to remember it and that makes me happy, I’m glad you felt comfortable enough with me not to want to return to your life before all of this," he smiled, the same smile he use to give a younger Chanyeol whenever he’d tell the elder about his improvement in using a sniper riffle in the past.

 

"That’s true, I never felt the need to remember anything," he said, thinking about how that applied to the past but had changed a few months ago. Now the only thing he desired was to remember. He wondered how Junmyeon would feel if he knew.

 

"Maybe you’re not meant to remember. It’s been ten years and you still don’t remember anything, do you?"

 

"No. Nothing at all," he replied, focusing on his meat to avoid the other’s gaze. "I feel comfortable with Venom. Remembering or not wouldn’t change anything," he half lied.

 

"I’m glad then," Junmyeon smiled, focusing back on his food for a few silent seconds during which Chanyeol had a hard time swallowing down his food, mind working on finding any link between his loss of memory when he was fourteen and Baekhyun. However, the elder broke the silence once again. "You know, I’m really proud of you, Chanyeol."

 

The latter froze, looking at Junmyeon as he felt his stomach churn at those words. "Really?"

 

"Of course," the other smiled, gaze locked with Chanyeol’s. "You’re now the best sniper of the city, one of the bests of the country. You always worked so hard as a kid and you were really gifted with an incredible talent at aiming and pulling the trigger but you also worked so hard to learn how to fight and use different weapons. I know it was hard sometimes, Minseok took care of your training most of the time and I know he’s rather harsh and unforgiving. I remember I often had to personally take care of your bruises when your training of the day was done and had it been another kid, maybe they would have given up, ran away or something similar, but you only worked hard. And you always make me really proud of what you became," Junmyeon said softly, a smile lingering on his lips throughout his whole speech. 

 

Warmth bubbled in Chanyeol’s chest and he couldn’t help but return the smile, in spite of the dread weighing on his shoulders. "It’s all thanks to you, hyung. Don’t forget to credit yourself as well, I wouldn’t be what I am today if it weren’t for you and Minseok hyung."

 

"That’s true," Junmyeon shrugged before sighing softly and once again letting his gaze wander to the table lost in thoughts. "Sometimes I feel bad though."

 

"Why?"

 

"You were just a child when I found you, you had a bright future ahead of you, Chanyeol. But I chose to pull you into this dark world instead," he confessed and Chanyeol frowned, biting his lower lip. "You could have become anything you wanted but instead, I stole your childhood away. Instead of letting you run around in the streets or play video games like kids your age, I taught you the exact names of guns, where to hit if you want to render someone unconscious, how to muffle your steps on the floor, and how to efficiently take someone’s life away," Junmyeon finished, shaking his head, and Chanyeol could see in the tension lining his features that he felt really bad. 

 

For the first time, Chanyeol noticed that Junmyeon wasn’t the same man he was ten years ago. He wasn’t as young even if he was only in his early thirties. He had been through a lot.

 

"Hyung," he started, voice soft and honest as he leaned closer. "I wouldn’t have it any other way. You gave me a family, a new life, a purpose. I’m not complaining and I never will be. I’m happy with the way things are, you turned me into someone who can fight for himself and that’s all that matters for me."

 

And it was true. He couldn’t imagine his life without Junmyeon, Minseok, Jongdae, and Jongin. They were each other’s only family.

 

Suddenly, as he watched relief soften Junmyeon’s features, Chanyeol’s chest ached. How long had it been since Junmyeon started feeling bad about this? Probably a long time and yet, he had no idea until today. 

 

"I’m really glad to hear that then," Junmyeon smiled before nodding towards Chanyeol’s plate. "Eat before it gets cold, you need all the strength you can get to feel better."

 

Chanyeol tried smiling before focusing back on his food. Baekhyun’s words echoed in his head and suddenly, he hated himself for even taking into consideration the fact that maybe, he had been talking about Junmyeon when telling him to be careful of the people he trusted the most. How had he been able to doubt the man who had given him a life and a family? There must be a misunderstanding, Baekhyun couldn’t have been talking about Junmyeon or any of his friends.

 

"By the way, has Light tried facing you again?" Junmyeon asked after a whole minute of silence, chewing on his food while looking at Chanyeol who froze for a second.

 

"No," he lied. "No, I haven’t seen him at all since that last time."

 

"Good, I don’t want you to get into trouble again," the elder smiled lightly. "Would you like to eat desert once you’re done with that?"

 

"Sure," Chanyeol smiled, a forced one.

 

From then on, he promised himself to never ever doubt Junmyeon again. He was part of the only family Chanyeol had and he would never do anything to harm him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Night time strolls were starting to become a daily part of Chanyeol’s life and that night, like many others, he chose to spend a long hour just walking in the dark streets of this big and cold city. Lunch with Junmyeon had been nice and once they had to separate ways, Chanyeol spent more than an hour just driving around while blasting loud music to drown  out his thoughts. He hadn’t felt like going back home yet, his apartment was always too silent and trying to fill the silence by leaving the television on all night was starting to be useless as well. He simply had chosen to crash at Jongin’s house for a few more hours and even if his best friend had been busy typing on his computer at a pace Chanyeol could only dream of ever reaching, it felt nice to be with someone. He appreciate the noise and especially the food Jongin let him eat whenever he was over.

 

At some point, he had had to leave though and after parking his car in front of the building, he walked towards the opposite side of the entrance and just like that, another hour was wasted away in the streets. He finally let his thoughts invade him and for each minute spent outside, he pondered over Junmyeon, Baekhyun, Venom, and the memories he had lost. It had been so stupid of him not to link everything together. It had been incredibly stupid to not even notice his memories matched an age inferior to fourteen. Everything must have happened right before Junmyeon had found him that day.

 

In spite of his particularly good immunity to cold, Chanyeol had to return home at some point and what welcomed him when he stepped into the living room was, as always, something he had not expected.

 

"Why are you here again?"

 

That question was directed to the person who had taken a particularly huge liking to messing with his head and oddly, the sight of Baekhyun lounging on his couch while switching channels, gaze focused on the flat screen was only slightly infuriating. The sudden warmth that spread on his chest, however, was unwanted. 

 

"That’s not a good way to treat your guests, Chanyeol-ah. Haven’t you learned since the last time?" Baekhyun asked casually, finally dropping the remote control next to him after settling on a random channel and turning to Chanyeol, an amused smile on his lips.

 

"The only thing I learned from the last time is to punch you next time you come too close to me," Chanyeol grumbled, taking his jacket off and dropping it on the armrest of the couch before settling next to Baekhyun, a decent distance between them. "You know, I don’t think we have the kind of relationship that allows you to pick the lock and come and go as you please," he deadpanned, looking at the other from the corner of his eyes.

 

"Oh really?" he heard Baekhyun drawl out. "What kind of relationship do we have then, Chanyeol-ah?"

 

He fell silent at that, looking at the other properly. Baekhyun looked so _fitting_ into his apartment, as if he was meant to be here, as if he was not a stranger or an assassin that should never be able to stand next to Chanyeol. He looked so comfortable on Chanyeol’s couch, a familiar playful smile hanging on his lips, hair long enough for some strands to get in his eyes. Chanyeol didn’t even feel alarmed by the fact that Baekhyun had picked the lock once again, finding him in there didn’t even bother him, even if it should. He realized that he had grown to be comfortable with Baekhyun, maybe it was because of their many encounters, maybe it was because of the memories, maybe it was a result of having had sex with him. He looked away from Baekhyun at that thought.

 

"From now on, I won’t reply to your questions. Just so you can die  out of frustration just like I do each time," he said, only half playful but completely casual. As if he was talking to a friend of many years, which he probably was.

 

"Are you sulking now?" he heard after a few seconds and only then he realized that Baekhyun was much closer to him now, their shoulders were brushing.

 

"Am I a kid?" he snorted, grabbing the remote controlled and changing the channel, out of spite. "Why are you here?" he asked again, looking straight into the wide screen.

 

"Maybe I just missed you," he heard the other whisper and the lack of playfulness in his voice made Chanyeol’s heart clench but he still didn’t look at him. Odd things happened to him whenever he looked at Baekhyun and maybe the best thing to do would be to kick him out of the house but Chanyeol was tired of this game of tag, or hide or seek or whatever Baekhyun liked to call it. Maybe he also liked the way Baekhyun chased the silence away from his apartment.

 

Suddenly, he felt something drop on his lap and when he looked down, Baekhyun’s bright eyes met his as he shifted to settle his head comfortably on his thighs. His amused smile grew wider, as if he knew Chanyeol wouldn’t push him away when even Chanyeol himself didn’t know why he didn’t feel like doing so.

 

"You know my whole clan wants you dead, don’t you? Why are you carelessly lying on my lap?" Chanyeol simply asked, jaw clenched as he tensed up. He didn’t know how to react to this.

 

"Danger is exciting, don’t you know that?" Baekhyun chuckled softly.

 

Chanyeol only managed to hold the other’s gaze for a few seconds before he had to focus back on the show playing on the screen instead. He felt Baekhyun looking a him for a few more seconds before he turned his head to look at the television as well.

 

Silence settled over them after that and when, a few minutes later, Chanyeol noticed that his hand had somehow found its way to rest on Baekhyun’s head, he wanted to laugh at himself. 

 

It was almost impossible for the taller to actually pay attention to the random drama they were watching with all the thoughts swarming in his head. He had so many questions to ask. He was dying to question Baekhyun  about what he had meant by telling Chanyeol to be wary of people he trusted the most. Would that make Baekhyun run away again though?

 

"You know," he finally gathered the courage to start after long minutes, gaze falling on the way Baekhyun’s eyelashes casted shadows on his cheeks. "I remembered something today," he continued, which seemed to pull Baekhyun’s interest since he finally looked up at him, silently waiting for Chanyeol to continue. "It was really blurry and… I didn’t really understand much of it but there was a fire."

 

"Interesting," Baekhyun replied after a few seconds and Chanyeol felt him tense under his fingers.

 

"Does that remind you of anything?" he asked softly, hoping to get some information.

 

"Yes," Baekhyun sighed after a long silence, looking away from Chanyeol. "I don’t want to talk about that, Chanyeol," he added sternly and Chanyeol frowned.

 

"I need to understand some things, Baekhyun," he protested.

 

"No, you don’t."

 

"What? You’re the one who keeps asking me to remember things," he said, raising his voice a little bit out of frustration.

 

However, the only thing Baekhyun did was keep silent and turn on his side to face the screen instead, concealing half of his face from Chanyeol’s sight. The latter simply sighed, observing the frown that now stained the other’s handsome features. Why was he acting like this? Why did he give up so easily? He always acted so weak with Baekhyun.

 

"I lost my memories when I was fourteen," Chanyeol spoke up once again. He could see from Baekhyun’s expression that he was listening so he continued. "Junmyeon hyung found me like that, beaten up and alone in the streets. I didn’t remember anything besides my name and age," he said carefully in a way of asking if it had anything to do with their situation. Baekhyun’s jaw clenched.

 

"I know," he simply replied, a blank curtain on his features concealing his thoughts.

 

 

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol sighed tiredly. "It would be so much easier if you told me everything instead of dropping hints and waiting for me to remember everything. Why don’t you just do that?" he asked, letting frustration voice out his thoughts.

 

Finally, his words seemed to reach Baekhyun who shifted to lay on his back again, head still resting on Chanyeol’s lap as he looked up at him. "Because I want you to remember me on your own," he whispered, the same odd glint returning in his dark eyes and for the first time, Chanyeol finally understood what it was. Longing. Despair and sadness. His heart clenched. "I don’t want to force you, I don’t want to force it out of you. I might be helping you a bit, maybe not enough in your eyes, but I don’t want to force you to come back to me. I want you to _want_ to remember me. Otherwise, it wouldn’t mean anything."

 

For the first time ever, Baekhyun bared a part of him to Chanyeol and for the first time ever, the latter felt incredibly bad for forgetting Baekhyun. He looked so sad, so vulnerable, laying on Chanyeol’s lap and looking up at him with pure honestly shining in his beautiful dark orbs. How had it been possible to forget someone like Baekhyun?

 

"I’m trying," he whispered back after a few seconds, unconsciously running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair. The gesture seemed to comfort the latter whose lips curved into the tiniest of smiles.

 

"I know," he shook his head a bit before sighing. "Let’s just not talk about all of that today, alright?" he asked softly and once again, it was impossible for Chanyeol to say no to him. "I just want to be with you, for a few hours. Like old times."

 

"Alright," Chanyeol agreed after a few seconds of staring into Baekhyun’s closed windows, the stars sparkling behind them, in his irises. He did notice that Baekhyun was not acting like he usually did, he was much calmer. Maybe he was as tired as Chanyeol was.

 

And they did just that, silence wrapping around them in a warm cocoon as they did something as simple as watching television together for hours, like ordinary people. Chanyeol’s fingers never left Baekhyun’s hair again and his eyes kept switching between watching what was happening on the screen and staring at the lights and shadows dancing on Baekhyun’s face. Eventually, when Baekhyun’s eyelids fell shut and didn’t open again, Chanyeol gave up and simply let his gaze trace each feature of the mystery that fell asleep on his lap.

 

It took only a few seconds for exhaustion to catch up to him as well and he leaned back against the  couch, trying not to shift too much as he didn’t want to wake Baekhyun up and for what seemed to be the first time in forever, sleep didn’t bother making him chase after it. He felt comfortable, so comfortable with Baekhyun’s warmth nestled against his body, his soothing presence lulling Chanyeol into something so familiar and so foreign at the same time.

 

Their position in itself was not that comfortable, Chanyeol’s legs would probably turn numb after some time but as he easily slid into a peaceful and deep slumber, an odd thought settled over his mind. The thought that he’d be able to sleep peacefully anywhere as long as Baekhyun was with him, even if it was in nothing but an old cardboard box in dirty backstreets with Winter’s unforgiving cold whistling into his ears.


	9. Chapter Nine

Silence gently glided around Chanyeol’s room, quietly, discreetly, tiptoeing as it danced as gently as a summer breeze, spreading between the four walls of the room and seeping under the door, wrapping over the whole apartment like a warm blanket. It was only disturbed by the occasional swoosh of a car driving by the street or the gentle knocking of the wind against his window. It was completely silent. The sky had snuggled into its sparkly night gown a few hours ago and it was not morning yet, far from it, but midnight had been left behind long hours ago. 

 

It was complete silent in Chanyeol’s room. That night, he hadn’t left the television on, there was no music playing throughout the whole night either, there was nothing but the silence that was wrapped around him as tightly as his blanket. And yet, he didn’t feel suffocated in his bed. He didn’t hear anyone screaming at him in his head. His fingers didn’t itch to produce any kind of noise. His whole apartment was silent and yet, it didn’t feel wrong. For the first time in years, Chanyeol didn’t feel as if it shouldn’t be silent, he didn’t yearn for something or someone to fill the silence and talk his ears off.

 

He didn’t feel the need to chase the silence away and as odd as that was, it was so, so comforting. Being able to enjoy the silence was something he had forgotten how to do.

 

However, he wouldn’t really be able to say that it was completely silent either as he could hear as much as he could feel someone breathing regularly, puffs of air gently caressing his skin through the fabric of his chest. He was enveloped by warmth but that was not only his blanket’s doings, his insides were tingling with warmth, little flames caressing his heart and protecting it against the harsh and eternal winter of the lands of Loneliness he had been trapped in for years.

 

He pulled away a bit, the slightest, to look down at the small form curled against him. It was almost a blur, the way things had turned out to be this way when only a few hours ago, Chanyeol was sitting on his couch in the living room, Baekhyun’s head settled on his lap and his hand tangled in dark strands of hair. The smaller had fallen asleep first while they were watching a random movie on a random channel and Chanyeol had followed shortly after but an hour had barely passed by before he woke up again. He had been disoriented at first and confused to find Baekhyun still with him but in the haze of sleepiness, he had decided to move to his bedroom instead and had taken Baekhyun with him, carrying him to bed while wondering _why_ he was even doing that.

 

It had probably been a few hours since then and Baekhyun had not even stirred once while Chanyeol carefully brought him to bed but the latter had not been able to get a single wink of sleep ever since. He had naturally slipped into bed next to Baekhyun, as if he had done it a thousand times before, but he had refrained himself from actually getting too close to the other. Things were already weird enough for him and he did not need to feel worse because of unnecessary physical contact. However, Baekhyun had gradually gravitated towards him as minutes passed and eventually, he had snuggled against Chanyeol’s chest, nuzzling against the crook of his neck, tangling their legs together and continued sleeping, as if he had not been able to sleep for years.

 

And Chanyeol had been wide awake ever since, drowning in his thoughts for hours. Baekhyun was not exactly a quiet sleeper, he didn’t mumble in his sleep or grit his teeth or anything but he made little noises similar to a puppy’s whining. Chanyeol had been listening to it for hours and it wasn’t exactly a lullaby but it was somehow comforting. That sound made him feel safe. He wondered if that was how he used to feel about Baekhyun in the past. 

 

However, as much as his thoughts kept him awake, Baekhyun contributed to it greatly. Chanyeol had spent the past hours mapping his whole face with his eyes and yet, he couldn’t look away. He looked so small and fragile in Chanyeol’s arms and the latter didn’t even dare pushing him away despite hating himself for letting Baekhyun cling to him like that. Something in the back of his mind told him if he let go, if he didn’t keep his arms wrapped around Baekhyun’s frail body, the latter would be cold. And it didn’t make sense because Chanyeol’s apartment was perfectly heated and they were covered by a thick blanket. He wondered if that was a habit of the past too. 

 

Not that he minded the lack of distance between their bodies. It was easier to actually _look_ at Baekhyun this time. There was nothing to distract him, nothing to cut his breath off and make him do things he would never do, there was nothing to prevent him from taking in everything that Baekhyun was and so, Chanyeol spend ridiculously long hours observing him, thinking, observing Baekhyun again, getting lost in his thoughts, hating Baekhyun, and observing him again.

 

It was dark outside and the lights were turned off, moonlight being the only thing that shone upon Baekhyun’s features. His skin was almost glowing under the caress of the moon, his droopy eyes were closed, the shadow of his eyelashes dancing on his skin. He had an overall peaceful expression on his face but sometimes, he would scrunch his nose a bit, as if annoyed by something in his dreams and Chanyeol’s chest felt ticklish each time he witnessed this insignificant yet cute act. He also would frown sometimes and Chanyeol frowned along with him each time, worrying about possible nightmares before realizing he had no reason to worry about that and that it was stupid to do so. Must be yet another dumb habit. This whole situation was ridiculous anyway. 

 

Baekhyun was handsome. Beautiful. He was a lot of things, Chanyeol concluded after hours of observation. But he was also exhausted and he wondered if that was only something that Baekhyun was for that day or if it was regular, he had never noticed it before. Dark circles stained the skin under his eyes and he was maybe too pale for it to be healthy. He had said it himself a few hours ago, that he was tired, and he had been way too silent the whole night so maybe Chanyeol really should have believed him. He couldn’t help but feel slightly worried about him and these stupid habits were starting to get on his nerves.

 

Almost as much as the fact that this whole scene felt awfully familiar, as if he had lived it hundreds of time before. Baekhyun was a stranger, despite everything, and it was not normal for Chanyeol to feel so comfortable with him. He should be more alert. And yet he was merely relaxed, almost thankful for Baekhyun’s presence. He was only betraying Junmyeon by feeling so casual about this and he could accept the fact that this kind of behavior with Baekhyun had been something usual in the past, but he couldn’t accept betraying his boss like that. Junmyeon had saved his life and this was no proper way to thank him for it. 

 

However, how was he supposed to cut ties with Baekhyun and just let time take care of things when he couldn’t even manage to bring himself to pull away from Baekhyun’s tight hold on his body? He couldn’t continue acting this way with someone who had basically told him to be suspicious of the man he trusted the most in his life though. It would be ungrateful of him to continue this. He couldn’t betray Junmyeon this way. However, he was too far in to give up now. He had memories to look for, fourteen years of his life to remember and it looked like most of those fourteen years had been spent with the man who was tucked against his chest.

 

"Chanyeol-ah," he heard his name whispered in that so familiar tone after long minutes and the gentle, sleep-laced voice pulled him out of his thoughts. 

 

He looked down to see Baekhyun rubbing the tip of his nose against his chest, his arms tightening around the taller who silently observed the scene unfolding in front of him, the corners of his lips quirking up the slightest. Baekhyun tensed up for a second, frowning, and unconsciously, maybe out of habit, Chanyeol’s hand gently trailed up his back, following the bumps of his spine, and dancing over his nape before finding its way into the smaller’s hair. His fingers gently ran over his soft locks, finger pads gently massaging his scalp and Chanyeol wasn’t sure how but he knew that this would be enough to sooth Baekhyun. He was proved right when it took only a few seconds for the latter to relax and slip back into a more peaceful slumber, features softening as he continued sleeping.

 

Chanyeol wondered if Baekhyun was having a nightmare about him. Was it the first one? Or was it the hundredth one? Chanyeol did have dreams about Baekhyun, memories or nightmares, but it had only started two months ago, when he had first met him. Baekhyun had known him for so long. Fourteen years plus the years they had spent together before his loss of memory, maybe a year, maybe five, maybe ten. Had Baekhyun ever suffered because of him? Was it why he had tried finding Chanyeol? Or was it something else, an ulterior motive? He didn’t know.

 

Chanyeol didn’t know and right now, he didn’t want to find out. He spent a few minutes shutting his thoughts out, focusing on Baekhyun’s breath, the rise and fall of his chest, and the small noises he made in his sleep. Eventually, everything about Baekhyun lulled him to sleep and Chanyeol let himself fall into a peaceful slumber, far from nightmares and enveloped in a warmth that was as foreign as it was familiar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sleep started slipping away from his grasp only after what was probably less than two whole hours and Chanyeol was exhausted, he wanted to sleep but something dragged him out of his slumber and it only took him a second to figure out the reason behind it. He felt movement against him and instantly, he remembered Baekhyun was in his bed. 

 

However, it seemed that the latter wasn’t thinking of staying in there for that long and slowly, inch by inch, Chanyeol felt Baekhyun pull away from him. The taller acted as if he was still asleep, maintaining the slow and rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, keeping a peaceful expression on his features while waiting to see what the other was going to do. Baekhyun started by carefully untangling their legs before his delicate fingers rested on Chanyeol’s arms in order to unwrap them from around his body. Chanyeol let him do so, waiting while acting asleep despite having woken up as soon as Baekhyun had started stirring, out of habit. Soon enough, the shorter was able to pull away form his embrace and he sat up, a barely audible sigh of relief reaching Chanyeol’s ears before it was completely silent again. 

 

He felt the other’s gaze on him and wondered what kind of expression Baekhyun would have on his face right before disappearing from Chanyeol’s life for the umpteenth time, after confusing him further. However, he didn’t move, he did his best to remain frozen until he was sure of feeling the other’s weight slowly disappear from the bed as he started standing up. Only then did Chanyeol’s eyes snap open, his hand shooting up to grab the other’s wrist and pull as hard as he could. Baekhyun was caught by surprise and stumbled back with a startled sound, falling back on the bed as Chanyeol dragged him towards himself, arms instantly wrapping around his body tightly so he wouldn’t be able to escape. He wouldn’t let the other disappear again this time, he was tired of it.

 

"Where do you think you’re going?" he asked, voice low and raspy from sleep but carrying small tints of anger. He hated the way Baekhyun thought it was so easy to just appear in Chanyeol’s life, stay for a short few hours and then disappear completely again, without saying goodbye or even enlightening Chanyeol’s confusion.

 

"I see you haven’t grown out of your obsession for cuddling, Chanyeol-ah. I’d even say it got more aggressive with time," the other merely replied, amused and playful smirk hanging on his lips as usual. It was too early in the morning for Chanyeol to deal with this.

 

"I’m not laughing. Where do you think you were going?" he asked again, eyebrows furrowed. This wasn’t a game.

 

Baekhyun only faltered for a split second, probably realizing Chanyeol was actually angry. "Maybe I was going to the bathroom. Why? Wanna come with me?" he raised a brow, mirth dancing in his eyes.

 

"I’m not stupid, Baekhyun. I won’t believe that stupid lie," he spat out, hold tightening around Baekhyun. 

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun sighed, playfulness diminishing but not leaving his eyes. "If you wanted morning cuddles, you could just say it. No need to try squeezing the life out of me."

 

"We both know you were going to disappear before even giving me the occasion to ask for anything. Like you do all the fucking time," he replied and his anger was slowly growing, flames spreading in him. He was tired of reliving the same thing over and over again.

 

"Yeah? Well, nothing obligates me to stay with you as long as you want. Am I wrong?" Baekhyun muttered and this time, he wasn’t smirking infuriatingly. Instead, he tried pulling away from Chanyeol who only tightened his hold on him.

 

"You can’t keep doing this, Baekhyun. I’m not some kind of toy. This isn’t a fucking game. You can’t just come and see me whenever you feel bored, torture my mind with stupid warnings and dumb memories, before disappearing as soon as you want."

 

"Dumb memories?" Baekhyun repeated lowly, glaring up at Chanyeol as if he had insulted him. 

 

"Dumb memories," Chanyeol repeated after him. He wasn’t sure whether he felt like this was a revenge or not but it was nice to finally see Baekhyun get angry. "You never help me understand them so they’re dumb."

 

"If there’s someone dumb here it’s you, Chanyeol. If they’re dumb then let me go, I have no reason to stay here," he said before he only struggled harder, his legs starting to kick at Chanyeol’s quite painfully.

 

"No!" the latter said, manhandling the shorter onto his back, hands locking around his wrists while he settled on top of him, caging him under his body. "You’re going to stay here. I won’t let you leave," he muttered with difficulty as Baekhyun kept struggling under him.

 

Their heated gazes met for a second and Chanyeol was mesmerized enough by the anger swirling in Baekhyun’s dark orbs to make a mistake and let the other switch their position with a grunt of rage, the smaller landing on top of him this time.

 

"I don’t need your fucking permission to leave Chanyeol. You don’t need me to stay here if you call our memories dumb. Why do you want me to stay?!" he muttered, voice icy and urgent at the same time, an odd mix that made Chanyeol’s heart clench.

 

"Because! It feels right for you to be here and I hate it! I totally hate it but I need to understand and you’re never helping me," he replied, each of this words thickening the tension hanging around them.

 

"You don’t even deserve me being here," Baekhyun snorted before moving to pull away and instantly, Chanyeol’s instincts kicked in. He couldn’t let him leave. Not today. Not now. Not when he had just spent one of the most peaceful nights of his life. Not when it felt so right to share the same breathing space with Baekhyun.

 

He grabbed him again before he could get too far and pulled him with every ounce of strength, watching as Baekhyun crashed on the bed again before he threw Chanyeol a furious glare, tightening his hand into a heavy fist that he tried crashing against Chanyeol’s jaw. However, the latter saw it happening and merely stopped the attack by letting his palm collide with Baekhyun’s fist, locking his fingers around his hand and pulling until Baekhyun lost his balance again. 

 

Baekhyun was a really good fighter but they were fighting on a bed of all things and even now, this was ridiculous but Chanyeol wouldn’t let the other take all the decisions for him this time. He was sick of letting Baekhyun push and pull him around like that. He gave his everything in that fight and he could see that Baekhyun did the same thing, probably out of frustration. Chanyeol didn’t even have the occasion to rejoice about making Baekhyun feel something other than amusement, too busy stopping each of his hits and trying to keep him in place. It was not even a real fight, Chanyeol was not even trying to hit Baekhyun despite the latter’s efforts in landing a punch whenever and wherever he could. Chanyeol was taller than Baekhyun, heavier, and that was one thing he was sure to win in so he focused on that instead of letting his emotions mess everything up.

 

He struggled against Baekhyun, tackling him against the mattress, groaning whenever the smaller managed to switch their positions and landed on top of him, cursing under his breath when his fist finally collided with his cheek, locking his hands and arms around Baekhyun, fighting him off without hitting him for long minutes during which none of them gave up, until their breath grew heavy, their chest rising and falling with both frustration and exhaustion. 

 

"Stop!" Chanyeol demanded when he finally managed to gain the upper hand, pressing all his weight down on Baekhyun’s smaller body as he pinned him down against the mattress, caging his waist between his thighs and slamming his hands down at each side of his head, making sure that he would not escape this time.

 

He was tired. Not physically, this was nothing compared to years of training, but mentally. He was tired of not understanding anything, tired of looking for answers no one wanted to give him, and tired of watching Baekhyun leave him over and over again. Something in him hated it. Maybe it was the child in Chanyeol. But Chanyeol was not that child anymore and he had the power to make Baekhyun stay. Because it felt wrong to be left behind by him, because he oddly _needed_ Baekhyun to be there with him. Because he liked looking at Baekhyun and the other never gave him the occasion to do. Because after a whole night spent staring at Baekhyun, Chanyeol couldn’t help but grow greedier than he should be.

 

Baekhyun was close, too close. Or maybe Chanyeol was the one putting them in this situation, he was the one letting himself get pulled into the ocean of mixed emotions that was Baekhyun’s eyes. He couldn’t read them but it was mesmerizing and maybe that was why he came close enough to almost be able to jump in those dark waters and drown. If he did, his last breath would be lost on Baekhyun’s lips. He could feel the other’s breath tickling his own lips, they were close enough, they were too close and as he stared at Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s chest ached like it had never ached before, tiny needles stabbing his heart, over and over again, their blade coated with a poison Chanyeol would never find a remedy to. It hurt so much and he didn’t even know why. Because he didn’t remember and no one wanted to explain it to him.

 

Finally, after long seconds of staring at each other, Baekhyun broke the silence with a wavering whisper.

 

"What do you want, Chanyeol?" 

 

And that was a good question, one CHanyeol had asked himself so many times over the course of the past weeks, and one Baekhyun had already asked him before. He had too many answers. He wanted to understand. He wanted to remember. He wanted someone to fill his silent loneliness. He wanted Baekhyun to stay. He wanted Baekhyun.

 

"I want to remember you."

 

Chanyeol’s reply was the same, it did not change. They had not been able to take a single step forward since his last reply to that question, they were stuck in place and neither of them was doing anything to move forward. However, the child in Chanyeol pushed his next words forward without his own will.

 

"I need you to stay. Because it’s dark outside, it’s dark in here and you can’t survive at night without light," he whispered, words forming against Baekhyun’s lips and he didn’t even know when he managed to get so close to his lips but he wasn’t surprised. 

 

And it wasn’t true, the sun had started waking the city up a few minutes ago, it was already chasing the darkness away from the sky. It wasn’t dark outside anymore but was that the case for Chanyeol? No, for years, he had felt trapped in darkness, in his own darkness and no matter how much the sun was shining outside, it never reached Chanyeol’s little world.

 

However, as he felt his lips brush Baekhyun’s, as the tip of his nose caressed Baekhyun’s skin, as he stared at Baekhyun, Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel as if everything was shining. It was clear all of a sudden, he could see. It wasn’t dark anymore. Maybe that was because of the way Baekhyun’s lips curved into the smallest but the most sincere smile Chanyeol had ever seen on him. Maybe it was because Baekhyun shared the light with him by finally pressing their lips together.

 

And Chanyeol, who had been craving for a even a tiny little ray of light for fourteen long years without even knowing it, didn’t hesitate in acting as such. Something unleashed in him as soon as his lips met Baekhyun’s and he savored their texture, sinking his teeth in his lower lip, nibbling, tasting, reciprocating everything Baekhyun did to his lips. It didn’t take long for Chanyeol to completely get lost in the kiss and oddly, he had missed kissing Baekhyun, even if it happened only a handful of times. When his tongue brushed agains the seam of Baekhyun’s lips, the latter granted him access to his warm cavern and welcomed Chanyeol’s tongue with his own, not hesitating, not running away, letting the taller give his all to this kiss and giving back just as much.

 

However, Chanyeol knew this trick. He could already feel the other’s arms starting to move, he knew Baekhyun would try hitting him, snaking away from him. This was only a distraction, and Chanyeol knew Baekhyun wanted this as much as he did but he had no idea why the other was so intent on torturing them both. He wouldn’t let him do it this time though so he played Baekhyun’s own game, trapping his tongue between his lips and surprising a soft moan out of the other who had not expected it. He focused on coaxing Baekhyun into relaxing until he felt him melt under him as he probably momentarily forgot what he was about to do and while never letting his lips stray away from Baekhyun’s, Chanyeol’s arm moved towards the bed’s frame where he knew he had left a shirt hanging from two days ago. Perks of having a messy room.

 

He quietly grabbed it, his teeth sinking harder into Baekhyun lower lip at the same time to keep his attention focused on their kiss. His other hand was still holding onto the other’s wrist and in a blur of movements, he dragged the shorter’s hand up towards the bed frame, breaking their kiss abruptly to focus on quickly tying Baekhyun’s hand to the bed with the shirt. It was not the best kind of restraint but he had no time to waste and he quickly made sure to tie it tightly around Baekhyun’s wrist, the latter only realizing what was happening when Chanyeol was halfway through his task.

 

"What the hell?!" he said as soon as he realized Chanyeol was tying his hand to the bed and instantly, he started struggling against the taller who pressed his body down on his harder, keeping him in place until the knot was secured around his wrist and the the bed’s frame.

 

"I’m not going to let you fool me this time," Chanyeol snorted, more satisfied than he should feel when he saw the disbelief and irritation in Baekhyun’s eyes as the latter finally stopped struggling to stare at Chanyeol instead.

 

However, he profited of the shorter’s momentary surprise to reach on his left, his hand colliding with the bedside lamp on the nightstand next to his bed and in a moment of frustration and urgency he tugging on it harshly until it was unplugged from the wall and this was ridiculous but at least Baekhyun was dumbfounded enough not to move at all. His eyes only widened as he watched Chanyeol tug on the cable until it broke off the lamp which he let crash on the floor before he grabbed Baekhyun’s other hand and proceeded to tying it to the headboard with the cable.

 

"Are you fucking crazy?" Baekhyun almost shouted as he did his best to keep his hand away from Chanyeol but was unsuccessful, the taller too far gone in his slight madness. "That’s dangerous! What if you electrocuted me?!"

 

"You’d deserve it," Chanyeol muttered as he made sure the knot was tight enough and once both of Baekhyun’s hands were tied to the bed,  he let out a breath and finally calmed down, pulling away without getting off him.

 

It was far more amusing than it should be. And ridiculous. But Chanyeol was starting to get used to the ridiculous things Baekhyun made him do. It was worth seeing the panic and amusement on his face at least as he looked at his own hands trapped against the bed frame.

 

"Why did you even tie me?! I wasn’t going to leave," he grumbled as he tugged on his hands, glaring at Chanyeol who snorted.

 

"You were only distracting me with that kiss. I learned," he narrowed his eyes.

 

"Ohh," Baekhyun started, raising a brow as an amused smile finally spread on his lips. He didn’t even mind it, the little shit was making a fuss all for nothing. "I see you’re starting to know me. How cute."

 

"It’s not fair for you to be the only one to know me by heart, is it?" Chanyeol replied as he took in the sight of Baekhyun tied to his bed, _finally_ not able to try leaving Chanyeol. He was oddly relieved.

 

"I hope you also do know it would be easy for me to free myself from those shitty knots. You should work on improving that skill if you have a thing for tying people to your bed," Baekhyun simply said, challenging Chanyeol with his dark gaze.

 

"You can do that but you won’t," Chanyeol simply shrugged, making sure to return Baekhyun’s gaze even if the way he was sprawled on Chanyeol’s bed, at his mercy, was slowly starting to drive him  crazy.

 

"And why wouldn’t I?"

 

"Because you want to stay here as much as I want you to. You’re only torturing us both. Now you have an excuse to stay and you will."

 

Chanyeol didn’t know how he was sure of that. After all, it could be another trick, another game Baekhyun was playing without Chanyeol even being aware of it. However, the way Baekhyun looked at him for a few silent seconds, his playful façade slowly slipping off his features, only proved him right. He wished with his everything, he hoped Baekhyun would just spare him the confusion and the frustration just for a day. It wasn’t much. Chanyeol simply wanted to spend time with Baekhyun, a stranger with whom Chanyeol was more comfortable than even his best friend of years, Jongin. 

 

"Alright," Baekhyun finally whispered after a while, as if scared to use a louder voice. "I’ll stay for a bit. With you," he added softly, as if trying to convince himself and maybe that was what he was doing. Chanyeol knew nothing about Baekhyun, it was hard to read him.

 

"Alright," Chanyeol replied and he felt a wave of relief wash over him now that he was sure Baekhyun wouldn’t leave him without saying goodbye, for the umpteenth time. 

 

It was odd. And ridiculous. They weren’t even doing anything, Baekhyun was tied to a bed and Chanyeol was merely straddling him and looking down at him, as if he had not spent a major part of the night doing just that already. The oddest thing about it was that he felt so peaceful and agitated at the same time. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do and it was weird but he liked having Baekhyun with him.

 

"I’ll leave as soon as I’m bored though," Baekhyun broke the silence again after almost a full minute and it wasn’t surprising. Baekhyun seemed to be the kind not to be able to stand silence. Chanyeol raised a brow. "So you should keep me entertained if you want me to stay," he ended, lips slowly forming that infuriatingly teasing smile again.

 

And that was the only invitation Chanyeol needed before he leaned down to crash his lips against Baekhyun’s again.

 

It was ridiculous. Chanyeol didn’t know how they managed to always end up in this kind of situation but he stopped questioning it, he stopped trying to understand even if it’ll last only for one day before he looses himself in a web of confusion again. He stopped thinking and only focused on Baekhyun’s lips against his, the urgency in their kiss, the way Baekhyun wasn’t playing any kind of game anymore. He focused on the fact that Baekhyun had asked for this, which meant that maybe, he felt the same way as Chanyeol did, maybe he felt as pulled to him, maybe he felt as desperate. The only difference was that Baekhyun knew why he felt that way, because he remembered everything while Chanyeol didn’t.

 

However, he waved that away. He enjoyed the moment instead, lips playing with Baekhyun’s casually, yet urgently, hungrily, as if they had both been craving for this to happen, which wouldn’t be a lie in Chanyeol’s part. He had been craving to feel this again and he didn’t miss an inch of Baekhyun’s skin, his lips trailing over the other’s lips, cheek, jaw, earlobe, neck, leaving little kisses, small bites, and faint marks on his way. And Baekhyun let him do so, baring his neck for Chanyeol, parting his lips to let out small sounds of contentment, tugging on his hands as if he wanted to touch Chanyeol the same way the latter’s hands trailed all over him, cradling his cheeks, slipping down his neck, trailing over his chest. However, Baekhyun’s hands were tied and Chanyeol took pleasure in it, maybe it was a way for him to make Baekhyun feel as frustrated as he made Chanyeol feel on a daily basis.

 

"You’re driving me crazy," Chanyeol muttered against Baekhyun’s lips when they met again and it was odd hoc much that was true, in so many ways.

 

However, besides unconsciously tugging on his hands, Baekhyun didn’t do anything, he didn’t struggle against Chanyeol or try escaping, he merely let the other trail kisses and bites over his neck, lips finding their way to Baekhyun’s own for a heated kiss from time to time, as if it was an anchor that pulled Chanyeol back to his senses for a while before he got lost again. The little sounds that escaped his lips resonated in Chanyeol’s head, warming his insides and spreading a wave of arousal through his whole body. 

 

Soon, Baekhyun’s shirt got in the way and tugging its collar down with his hand was not enough, Chanyeol couldn’t access Baekhyun’s soft skin as much as he craved to and when he pulled away, it only then dawned on him that he wouldn’t be able to take the piece of clothing off since Baekhyun’s hands were tied to the bed. The latter was aware of that fact and the mocking arch of his eyebrow was enough for Chanyeol to know he was delighted by the situation and wouldn’t help Chanyeol find a solution.

 

"Now, we seem to have a small problem," he almost purred out in a low voice, squirming a bit under Chanyeol which caused him to rub against his hardened arousal, hidden behind his layers of clothing. The mocking glint in Baekhyun’s eyes made Chanyeol unable to actually know what the ‘small problem’ he was referring to was but it ticked him off nonetheless, the way Baekhyun could still irritate him even when he was tied to Chanyeol’s bed.

 

"You seem to want me to complete this wonderful look of yours with a gag ball. Or tape over your mouth," he threatened the other, teasingly despite plastering a serious expression on his face.

 

"I didn’t imagine you to grow up to be so kinky, Chanyeol-ah," the other simply smirked.

 

However, that only made Chanyeol huff in frustration before his hand reached towards the bed frame, fingers slipping between the bed and the wall and grabbing a dagger that was hidden there. He snickered when he saw the worried furrow of Baekhyun’s eyebrows.

 

"Okay, I’m going to stop you here. I’m not into knifeplay at all," the smaller said, warily eyeing the dagger in Chanyeol’s hand.

 

"The only thing I’d like to do to you with this knife is stab you, not drag you into some weird kinky shit," Chanyeol snorted before he brought the dagger closer to Baekhyun’s shirt, hooking the blade on his color before tugging down, the fabric ripping along the way and opening in half to reveal Baekhyun’s chest.

 

"Hey! I loved that sh-" Baekhyun immediately started protesting but the end of his sentence was lost in a moan when Chanyeol’s lips trapped one of the pinkish buds on his chest into his mouth, immediately torturing it with harsh scratches of his teeth and gentle swipes of his tongue. The clunk of the dagger falling on the ground mixed in with Baekhyun’s enchanting voice in the air.

 

Baekhyun didn’t try speaking again after that, only letting his voice form sounds of pleasure as Chanyeol’s lips trailed over his chest, a thumb gently swiping over his other bud before his lips gave it the same treatment as the other one. He then trailed kisses down his abdomen, Baekhyun’s muscles clenching and tensing under his lips all the way until Chanyeol reached the waistband of his jeans. He unbuttoned it, fingers rushing and fumbling with the zipper as he glanced up at Baekhyun to take in his beautiful features. 

 

Last time they had been so intimate, they were in that old warehouse, it was night and the lights were not working properly but this time, the morning sun was shining outside, its gentle rays pouring over Baekhyun’s skin, reflecting in his dark orbs and his even darker strands of hair that were sprawled over the pillow like a black and wicked halo that contrasted beautifully with the white sheets. His  eyes were half lidded and he never once took his gaze away from Chanyeol, fingers clenched into tight fists against the bed frame, lips parted to let out puffs of air, reddened and swollen after the attention Chanyeol had given them earlier.

 

He looked as ethereal as he did that day and, for a split second, Chanyeol wondered if this was a dream and Baekhyun would turn into nothing but a memory once he’d wake up. However, he knew that was not the case and Baekhyun looked so soft, so vulnerable under the morning sun. He was always so beautiful and the fact that there was no trace of wicked amusement in his features somehow made him glow even more.

 

Chanyeol didn’t waste more time, fingers hooking on the other’s waistband before he tugged his jeans down his legs, getting rid of them and letting them fall down to the floor. Baekhyun’s arousal greeted him, concealed by the black fabric of his underwear and he could see a faint wet patch at the end of the curve. He leaned down, gaze catching Baekhyun’s for a second before trailing over the flush that spread over his cheeks and his lower lip that partly disappeared behind his teeth as he bit into the flesh. His gaze was dripping with arousal and Chanyeol was sure of feeling each drop hitting his own core, building up an ocean inside of him.

 

"You’re so beautiful," he whispered, almost without noticing it, a shiver running through Baekhyun’s body when his breathy words caressed the heated skin hidden behind the fabric of his underwear. He had expected any kind of reaction from Baekhyun but he had not been ready for the sincere smile that tugged the corner of his lips up into a mesmerizing arch. A voice in his head whispered to him, telling him that he had always loved being the reason behind the purest and most sincere smiles on Baekhyun’s lips.

 

Without taking his gaze away from Baekhyun, he leaned down until his lips could brush the bump hidden under his underwear, deliberately letting his breath fall in warm puffs of air against the other’s clothed arousal and watching as Baekhyun’s body arched the slightest with need, his hands still tugging on the restraints around his wrists. Then, he let his lips fully press against the curve under Baekhyun’s underwear, mouthing at it a bit, teasing the other long enough until Baekhyun was on the verge of snapping.

 

"Chanyeol," he moaned, voice taking on a whiny lilt that trembled with a wave of arousal. "Don’t tease," he then demanded, as if he had the upper hand and Chanyeol would love to make him suffer, leave him frustrated and tease him for hours but he was as impatient as Baekhyun was so finally, he hooked his fingers into his underwear an tugged down, getting rid of the last piece of clothing that prevented him from coming in contact with Baekhyun’s heated skin.

 

However, he didn’t pay attention to his cock, merely pressed his lips on Baekhyun’s hipbone, mouthing on his skin, nibbling but not enough to leave a mark, before trailing down, his hands cupping Baekhyun’s thighs to part his legs. He then trailed kisses along his inner thighs, savoring his smooth skin, nibbling on the junction between his thigh and his pelvis but never actually paying attention to the part Baekhyun probably wanted him to touch the most and it didn’t take long for Baekhyun to complain about it.

 

"First of all, why are you fully clothed? And can’t you untie me now?" Baekhyun groaned, his snappy tone not as effecting now that it was interrupted by his heavy breath and carried an aroused undertone.

 

"No, I won’t untie you," he replied while sitting up to pull his shirt over his head, taking off the rest of his clothes afterwards while Baekhyun watched in a mix of irritation and hunger. He seemed to have forgotten he would be able to untie himself if he really wanted to but Chanyeol was not going to complain about it.

 

Instead, he reached for the drawer on the bedside table, hand fumbling inside until he found the small bottle of lube he was looking for. Everything after that was kind of blurry, he coated his fingers with the product and gently prepared Baekhyun in spite of the low waves of anger still agitating his insides. He didn’t want to hurt Baekhyun after all, Chanyeol would probably never be able to hurt him and that was infuriating but he had stopped hating this situation a long time ago. A finger slipped into Baekhyun’s tight ream, the lube making it easier than the last time, followed by another and another one again and with each crook, with each thrust of his fingers, Baekhyun let out soft sounds that Chanyeol knew he was already addicted to. However, he didn’t mind Baekhyun being the instrument he’d play, he didn’t mind listening to the melodious and arousing sounds that slipped past his lips, he didn’t mind being the one in control of the situation for once.

 

Baekhyun was beautiful and Chanyeol had thought about it dozens of time already but he couldn’t help but be reminded of it again as he watched his body writhing and squirming with each movement of his fingers, chest heaving up and down, the black fabric of his shirt contrasting both with the sheets and his milky skin as it hung on each side of his chest. When Chanyeol’s fingers crooked a certain way, Baekhyun’s back arched off the bed and a long moan of his name fell off Baekhyun’s lips, and that was enough for Chanyeol to know he had found the small bundle of nerves hidden inside of Baekhyun. 

 

However, he didn’t press that way again and instead, he pulled his fingers out completely, delighted in a sly way by the whine of protest that left Baekhyun’s lips. He still had not touched his cock and it laid heavy against his abdomen, reddened, a few drops of precum dripping from his tip and crashing on Baekhyun’s skin. And he wouldn’t touch him, it was a petty kind of revenge but it was one nonetheless and Chanyeol would take whatever he could. Instead, he wrapped one hand around his own cock, biting his lower lip at the feeling since he had not touched himself at all either, parted Baekhyun’s legs further with his other hand before guiding his arousal until the tip pressed against Baekhyun’s entrance.

 

Another melodious moan reached his ears along with a plead to hurry up and Chanyeol didn’t wait any longer, pushing in as his eyes locked with Baekhyun’s, his body drowning in pleasure while his gaze drowned in the pools of emotions that were Baekhyun’s eyes. He was gentle at first, thrusting slowly waiting for the other to adjust to his size after seeing the slight wince on his face that was wiped away immediately. Chanyeol wondered if Baekhyun had been with anyone else after that night in the warehouse, his reaction seemed to tell him otherwise but he knew that might be wishful thinking. Why wishful? He didn’t know but if there was one thing that he knew it was that the tight warmth surrounding him was driving him crazy and he stopped thinking, lips crashing against Baekhyun’s as their bodies moved together on the melody of their moans, dragging each other towards the edge of a cliff that they would not be able to avoid, inching closer to it with each snap of Chanyeol’s hips.

 

However, at that moment, Chanyeol didn’t mind falling off a cliff with Baekhyun and it was odd and ridiculous but he wouldn’t question anything today. He simply needed to get lost somewhere with Baekhyun and the closest thing to that was getting lost in everything that Baekhyun was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Contrary to what Chanyeol had expected, Baekhyun had not tried leaving after that, not when Chanyeol had untied him, not when he had left him to take a shower, not when he was preparing breakfast while Baekhyun himself was showering. Which was not really a good thing since when he came out of the bathroom, hair still damp and playful smile back on his lips, Baekhyun was simply wearing one of Chanyeol’s shirts, legs bare and inviting, faint traces Chanyeol had left behind on his skin decorating them. When Chanyeol had complained out of spite, Baekhyun had told him he was the one who shred his shirt to pieces and should bear its consequences.

 

The rest of the day was spent comfortably after that, in a mix of awkwardness and peacefulness. Baekhyun was acting as if he had done this a hundred times before, casually teasing Chanyeol, telling him things that held no importance just to fill the silence, touching him, waiting to be touched, appreciating the smallest of physical contacts. On the other hand, Chanyeol was split between letting himself go and enjoy this comfortable day and questioning everything. However, it was nice not to fight with Baekhyun for once, it was great not to be ready to jump at his throat at any second. He could simply let himself go and enjoy a presence he had craved for a long time without even knowing it.

 

He did settle with some things as hours passed in Baekhyun’s company while they did many things and nothing at the same time, locked in Chanyeol’s small apartment. He settled with the fact that Baekhyun had been part of his life a long time ago and the fact that he was still part of it and would continue being part of it. They had a common past he didn’t remember but it was okay, memories were slowly coming back to him and maybe Baekhyun would help him once he’d trust Chanyeol. He’d stop fighting it now and only try understanding it, more calmly. After all, Baekhyun was nothing more than a stranger and yet, Chanyeol didn’t mind spending a few hours with him, sharing breakfast, lunch, pleasantries, his couch, and his bed with him. 

 

And he broached that topic when it was nearing the end of the afternoon, and they were once again lazing around on the couch, Chanyeol’s cheeks hurting from how much Baekhyun’s comments about each scene on the drama playing made him laugh.

 

"It’s odd how comfortable I feel with you," he simply commented even if he had been thinking about it for half an hour straight. 

 

"We’ve been friends for years, that’s normal," Baekhyun replied just as simply, Chanyeol feeling him shrug since their shoulders were pressed together.

 

"But I don’t remember those years," he carefully said, looking at the other.

 

"But I do and it’s okay," Baekhyun sighed after a few seconds. "You certainly didn’t question that when you tied me to your bed this morning," he then commented, a playful glint sparkling in his eyes. Maybe it was yet another façade that Chanyeol let himself believe in.

 

"You didn’t freak out that much either," he snorted, crossing his arms against his chest.

 

"I was surprised that’s for sure, it’s the first time you actually tried making me stay," Baekhyun commented and Chanyeol didn’t look away from his features but he shivered at the feeling of gentle fingers trailing over his thigh.

 

"I hate it when you leave randomly. Why do you even do that?" 

 

"Why? Would you like me to stay by your side forever?" Baekhyun asked, tilting his head and fluttering his lashes just to spike Chanyeol even more.

 

"You’re replying to my question with stupid questions of your own again," Chanyeol sighed, looking at the television again.

 

"That happens when I’m bored. Which is not _my_ fault," he shrugged, obviously taking pleasure in messing with Chanyeol. As usual.

 

"Does it look like I’m having the time of my life right now?" the latter snorted, not even angry, merely amused. He was used to it now. Even if Baekhyun had once again skillfully avoided the topic of memories.

 

"Well, this is certainly not the face you were making earlier when we were in bed so I guess you’re not having the time of your life right now."

 

"Just shut up, Baekhyun. Fine. I regret bringing this up," Chanyeol grumbled, irritated both by the fact that he’d never be able to win against Baekhyun and the way the latter’s melodious laugher made him feel as if it was worth getting irritated.

 

"Fine, no need to sulk like a kid. I’ll ask you a smart question instead," Baekhyun scoffed and he was all over Chanyeol again, thigh pressing against his, chin resting on the taller’s shoulder. Chanyeol felt the trap coming but he couldn’t fight the way his body relaxed under Baekhyun’s warm touch. "What would your boss say if he knew you were here, spending the day with me while he’s probably looking for me everywhere, ready to shoot me?" 

 

Those words were mumbled right into his ear and it certainly did not make them any less harsh. Guilt instantly churned in Chanyeol’s stomach and he tensed up. 

 

He parted his lips, not even knowing what he should reply but attempting to do so. However, before he could even say something, the sheer ringing of phone interrupted him and they both turned towards the phone that was left on the low table in front of the couch. Before Chanyeol could even move, Baekhyun leaned down to snatch it from the hard surface, bringing it to his ear after swiping his thumb on the screen. 

 

"Hello?" he said and all traces of playfulness and amusement were gone from his features, swiped away by a blank and neutral curtain. He tensed up, glancing at Chanyeol once before humming into the receiver as his gaze found the television screen again. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. Alright, I’ll be there soon," he said after some time, probably once the person on the other line was done talking before hanging up.

 

Baekhyun stayed silent for a few seconds after that but Chanyeol was ready for his next words.

 

"I have to go now, Chanyeol-ah," he said, smiling a bit, almost with regret.

 

"Who was that?" Chanyeol asked instead, studying him.

 

"It doesn’t matter who it is, I just have to go," he shrugged while getting up.

 

Chanyeol’s hand shot up to wrap around his wrist. "If you’re not telling me who it is then it’s someone important. Why do you have to leave?" he asked and he wasn’t even sure whether he asked it because he was suspicious or because he simply didn’t want Baekhyun to leave.

 

"Stop questioning me each chance you get," Baekhyun replied sternly, slipping away from Chanyeol’s hold to walk into the bedroom instead.

 

Chanyeol bit down on his lower lip hard enough to almost break the skin. He was angry, without any logical reason. Nothing forced Baekhyun to stay more but he knew he would have stayed more if he hadn’t gotten that phone call. From someone he didn’t want Chanyeol to know about. That was highly suspicious and it was only confirmed when Baekhyun emerged from the bedroom less than a minute later, fully dressed, Chanyeol’s shirt still on him, hair ruffled and looking as if he was in a rush, almost panicked.

 

However, Chanyeol didn’t say anything. He oddly felt sad and he didn’t even try questioning the way he felt anymore, he merely stood up and walked Baekhyun towards the door. As the latter put his shoes on, Chanyeol observed him before finally speaking.

 

"Thank you for today, for staying," he said softly, oddly feeling exposed when Baekhyun looked up at him, giving him his full attention.

 

"No need to thank me. We both know I wasn’t really against staying with you," he smiled, not playful, not teasing, maybe a little sad.

 

"I know but still, I think I… needed this day," he confessed, watching as Baekhyun’s beautiful smile grew a bit wider.

 

He stepped closer to Chanyeol, still looking up at him before his eyes dropped to his lips. He didn’t lean towards him though, his gaze found Chanyeol’s again instead.

 

"I have to leave," he sighed again, biting his lower lip. "Be careful, alright?"

 

"Why would I be careful? You’re the one people want to kill," Chanyeol raised a brow.

 

"That’s why you should be careful," Baekhyun chuckled an empty sound. "Especially of what your boss tells you. You haven’t grown up that much, Chanyeol-ah."

 

"What?" Chanyeol asked, confused, angry. Why did Baekhyun have to ruin everything with confusing words right before leaving? He hated it. He didn’t want to listen to it. "Just leave," he said through gritted teeth.

 

Baekhyun simply looked at him for a few seconds and Chanyeol probably imagined him flinch. There was no reason or him to be hurt by those words. He then turned around, hand grasping the doorknob, about to pull it down. Chanyeol cursed under his breath, hand grabbing his wrist to turn him towards himself and pull him closer again.

 

"See you soon," he finally said, pressing a gentle kiss against Baekhyun’s lips. It might be a way to properly put an end to their day together, it might also be a way to make sure this day wouldn’t be the last one.

 

Baekhyun smiled, small and sincere against Chanyeol’s lips. "See you soon," he replied and it was the only confirmation Chanyeol needed.

 

He stepped back and Baekhyun smiled a last time before finally disappearing out of the door. Chanyeol took a deep breath and stayed there for a few seconds. The television was still on but he already felt suffocated by the silence.

 

A minute passed and he forced himself to stay there, if he moved, he’d stand in front of a window to catch a last glimpse of Baekhyun and he didn’t want to feel even more pathetic than he already did.

 

However, he heard ringing again and this time it was his own phone, the sound coming from his bedroom. He walked there slowly, not really able to go faster and when he saw the name on the screen of the device resting on the bedside table, he took a deep breath again before picking up the call.

 

"Yes, boss?"

 

 _"Hello, Chanyeol,"_ Junmyeon’s calm voice greeted him but Baekhyun’s words still echoed in his head. _"Where are you? Are you busy?"_ Why did he call him right after Baekhyun left? Why did his comfort have to end so abruptly? Why was it so easy for Baekhyun to make something in him actual think about his words? _"Chanyeol? Are you okay?"_ the other asked, snapping Chanyeol out of his thoughts.

 

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry, hyung. I’m home, just hanging around," he replied carefully.

 

_"Alone?"_

 

"Yeah, as always," he replied, wincing a bit. He hated lying to Junmyeon and this was already the second time the latter called him right after he was with Baekhyun. His words echoed in his head. 

 

_"I see."_

 

"Is something wrong?" he asked, collecting himself and trying to steer the topic away from himself.

 

_"No, I just wanted to know if you wanted to have lunch with me tomorrow? I’m going to ask Jongin to come as well, it’s been a while since we ate together, the three of us."_

 

Guilt punched Chanyeol in the stomach and he bit down on his lower lip hard to distract himself from it, focusing on the faint metallic taste in his mouth instead.

 

"I’m free tomorrow. It would be great. You’re right, it’s been a while," he replied, cursing himself inwardly when realizing how awkward he sounded. "I have to go though, hyung. I made some ramyeon and it’s getting soggy," he chuckled softly, not able to come up with anything better.

 

_"See, that’s why I should take you to lunch more often. All you eat is snacks and unhealthy instant food. Alright, go eat then, kid. See you tomorrow, I’ll tell you where to meet up."_

 

"See you tomorrow, hyung," Chanyeol mumbled before finally hanging up and taking a deep breath, heart thundering against his ribcage.

 

He cursed under his breath, slamming the phone down on the table again before dropping on his bed, face first. Why did everything have to be so complicated? He couldn’t get Baekhyun’s words out of his head. So he really was talking about Junmyeon the last time he had said something similar to this. He shook his head, he didn’t want to think about this. Not when he had just spent one of the best days of his life.

 

He nuzzled against his pillow, inhaling the sweet scent that Baekhyun had left him as a memory of their time together, trying to focus on it instead of his poisonous words still echoing in his head.


	10. Chapter Ten

Fours days later, there was no news of Baekhyun at all. Not a single call, not a single message, not another one of his twisted surprises and Chanyeol didn’t try initiating any form of contact either. If that had happened more than four days ago, Chanyeol would have gone crazy with paranoia, curiosity, and frustration, he would have looked everywhere for Baekhyun and cursed him before falling asleep every night. He would probably also have tried making Jongin locate him again even if that would be dangerous, considering the fact that if Jongin were to locate him, he’d have to report it to Junmyeon so Minseok could find him and get rid of him once and for all. That would have only worsened Chanyeol’s situation but he would have gone crazy without any news of Baekhyun too.

 

However, in the past four days, none of that happened. He didn’t want to scream his frustrations out as much as usual, his mind was not filled with too many questions, he didn’t spend most of his time on rooftops looking around for a smaller figure handling the same sniper riffle as he did. Somehow, his last encounter with Baekhyun, that day spent together, had managed to wash over his mind and he was almost feeling lighter since then. Sure, there were still so many questions and he still didn’t know when Baekhyun would pop up and mess his life up again but at least, he knew Baekhyun was not someone he should fear. He couldn’t bear negative feelings towards the other after spending such a peaceful and comfortable time with him. He didn’t have to be anxious about their next encounter either because Baekhyun had promised to meet him again. At least that’s how Chanyeol thought, the words whispered against his lips had been a promise for him and he hoped that Baekhyun wouldn’t break it. 

 

He had stopped trying to understand everything, deciding that letting things flow on their own would be better for his mental health. It was too exhausting to try and guess Baekhyun’s next move or his intentions, or even who he actually was for Chanyeol. Moreover, he was slowly remembering things, without even having to force it out of his mind so maybe it was better to just let things happen. Being able to spend time with Baekhyun without constantly wanting to wrap his hands around his slender neck and squeeze the life out of him was also a rather pleasant sensation. It was probably not nice to act like that with someone for whom he had gotten beaten up in the past, someone with whom he might have shared his childhood, someone with whom he had oddly already had sex twice. Baekhyun didn’t even seem to be the kind to attack him either anyway, he had never actually seriously hurt Chanyeol without the latter starting a fight first. Nothing too important anyway.

 

Most importantly, it was a big relief to be able to focus on his job without looking around in paranoia or anticipation each time. His mind wasn’t fogged with as many questions and it was much easier for him to silently operate on rooftops like he used to do before any of these happened. He still did think about Baekhyun, of course, and he was sometimes bothered by the way the man seemed to be unable to leave his mind but it was easier. Judging by Junmyeon’s appreciative words the other day, he really was getting better at dealing with all of this.

 

Therefore, his mind was at ease when Junmyeon had called him this morning to tell him he had to proceed on the mission of the day without Jongin. They were supposed to meet with one of the lowest gangs of the city to discuss their problem with one of the bigger gangs, they had only just started and they were supposed to give them a kind warning as requested by the bigger gang. It would also benefit Venom and as usual, Jongin was supposed to do the talking on his own while Chanyeol simply watched from afar and got ready to shoot down people if things got out of hand. However, Jongin had to lay low for a bit after rumors of his hacking the system of one of their rival gangs spread, it wouldn’t be safe for him to even get out of his house right now and as Junmyeon requested, he simply had to stay home and look for the person who spread that rumor. Minseok and Jongdae were already booked for other deals and Junmyeon had a meeting to attend so he had no choice but to go on the field on his own, not that he had anything to fear. He would be able to get out of the place alive even if things got out of hand and Junmyeon trusted him enough for that reason.

 

Now standing in front of yet another warehouse, Chanyeol glanced up at it for a second, inwardly wondering if all these meetings had to happen in warehouses because the gangs felt more dangerous this way. Not that he found it dangerous, it was simply uncomfortable. Why bother going  into an old warehouse to discuss something simple when you could simply do it at a nightclub? He supposed it would be more difficult for this to happen in a nightclub if you were planning to attack the person you were meeting but that didn’t change the fact that Chanyeol was starting to get sick of warehouses after going in and out of them for so many years. At least, he was allowed to keep a gun here, he thought as he finally went it.

 

As soon as he put a foot inside, he scrunched his nose a bit, bothered by the dust particles roaming in the air, but didn’t stop moving, eyes raking over his surroundings instead. It was just another old warehouse, with only a big room that contained various boxes and metallic shelves that had probably been used at some point before dust and dirt had the occasion to gather up on their surface. It was silent, too silent and as Chanyeol looked around, he focused on his holster containing a gun, concealed beneath his jacket, feeling it resting against his ribs. At first sight, there was no one in there but he was experienced enough to know he was not the first person to have reached this place, someone had come in before him and it was obvious in the way the door had opened up so easily when he pushed it weakly earlier. He had no time to waste.

 

"Come on, I don’t have all day," he called out to whoever would hear him, one hand reaching for the gun beneath his jacket. 

 

"What brings you here?" he heard before he could grab it and when he turned to his left, a man emerged from one of the doors that probably led to some backrooms. Chanyeol recognized him as Dongwook, Jongin had talked about him earlier when Chanyeol had called him before leaving for the warehouse. His name was among the men Jongin expected to show up to the meeting since they had not given a name when arranging it and simply had said they’d send a representative.

 

"Didn't your right hand man tell you about this meeting?" he almost snorted, letting go of his gun but watching the man closely as he stepped to stand a few feet away from Chanyeol. He hated gang members that acted all high and mighty when they basically had no influence over the city. 

 

"I don’t think that’s the way you should talk to someone you came to make a deal with," Dongwook retorted, obviously ticked off by Chanyeol’s tone.

 

"That deal affects me in no way. If you don’t accept it, you and all your men are going to get shot in the following days so I think you’re the one who should watch your tone," Chanyeol simply replied, almost bored. This was standard procedure and he might not be able to use pretty and smart words like Jongin would but he was sure of his ability to make others get the point behind what left his mouth.

 

"We’re not interested by that shitty deal," the other simply replied and by the way he held himself and his rather cheap style of clothing, Chanyeol figured that he was merely a random gang member and not the leader.

 

"You sure about that? Your gang is too weak to win over the rival I am representing. The smartest thing to do would be to give up, they even brought up the possibilities of your working under them if you were willing to change your attitude."

 

This was pointless anyway. This city was basically led by Cobra and these smaller gangs were merely fighting over backstreets and dingy nightclubs. 

 

"We don’t want to associate with those assholes. They don’t have a claim over those streets and we’re free to lead them," Dongwook stubbornly said, frowning.

 

"Alright," Chanyeol sighed. "Stupid decision," he merely concluded, only a little satisfied when he saw the way the man’s face scrunched up in outrage. "This was a mere warning. You’re not strong enough to win a fight and I hope you’re ready to lose your men one by one in the next few days. Those are not my words but theirs," he shrugged nonchalantly before turning around.

 

There was nothing else he could do, he was not about to lose more time with someone who did not want to collaborate. He didn’t even like doing this, Junmyeon could have just pushed the meeting to another day so Jongin would attend it but he had this odd thing about always being on time everywhere and never canceling anything. With nothing left to do, Chanyeol turned around and headed towards the door again, already anticipating the news about bloodshed in a stupid gang fight.

 

"Where do you think you’re going?" he heard Dongwook say behind him and he stopped in his tracks, sighing. "We’re not stupid enough to send you away just like that. You collaborated with them so you’re one of them. Maybe if we beat you up, they’ll stop messing with us."

 

Chanyeol let out a small but dark chuckle, almost impressed by how serious the other man sounded when it took only a glance for Chanyeol to know he’d be able to take him out in a fight in a matter of seconds. This was cliché. Too cliché and he had no time to play with someone who enjoyed acting all dark and powerful.

 

"Really? You’re brave enough to ‘beat me up’? On your own?" he asked as he turned around, a corner of his lips tugged up in amusement even as his voice remained low, a threat hidden in its depth. 

 

However, before Dongwook could even reply, the same door as earlier opened again and another man stepped out, this time one that looked far more threatening, followed by another one, and another one, and they kept trickling through the door before stepping behind the man he just had a _pleasant_ conversation with. It was not even surprising and Chanyeol’s smile only widened, this time far more threatening than earlier.

 

"I see," he chuckled quietly, eyes brightening with a wild glint. "I was almost impressed by your courage but I guess I should have expected this. At least now, we can actually all have fun together, right? I actually was leaving because it was getting too boring," he continued, lowering his voice to a loud whisper as if he was telling the now fuming man an interesting secret.

 

And it had the wanted effect on Dongwook who groaned before turning his head to his men and spat an order. "Get rid of him!" 

 

In a split second, everything turned to chaos, grunts and the sound of bone cracking under knuckles dancing in the air in a violent symphony, disturbing the dust particles’ gentle roaming around them. There was at least ten men and most of them were holding metal sticks on their hands but Chanyeol did not even take it into consideration as he lunged at them as soon as they took a step forward. It was not the first time he would fight against a large group of people and this time wouldn’t be different than the others either, he would get out of this fight alive and as a winner. 

 

He successfully avoided every swing of the metal sticks, fighting everyone off one by one, bending his body and leaning to the side to keep himself out of reach, before throwing a punch at a man who lunged himself at him with his bare hands, aiming for his jaw and hitting hard enough for the man to crumple down on the floor after he felt his bone crack under his knuckles. Before he could even take a breath, two men ran towards him, one holding a bat in his hands and the other simply aiming a punch at Chanyeol who avoided it, using his long legs to step aside just in time for the man’s fist to land on the other one who staggered with the impact. The assassin took advantage of that to aim a kick at the man who had ended up punching his ally, the sole of his combat boots colliding with his nape before he crumbled down, landing on the man he had just punched. 

 

Not wasting a single second, Chanyeol avoided another man who lunged at him and let his feet collide with the man who was still trapped under his ally. He fell unconscious at that and Chanyeol leaned down to grab the metal stick in his hand before turning around and swinging it, a loud clunk resonating in the air as his temporary weapon collided with his opponent’s as Chanyeol blocked his attack. It would be much easier to just get his gun and shoot everyone but that would not be as fun so he simply engaged in something akin to a sword fight with his opponent that lasted only a few seconds before Chanyeol kicked him away, his foot digging into the man’s stomach before he aimed the top of his head with his metal bat, the man crumbling after the hit.

 

However, before he had time to rejoice, he felt a sharp pain on his shoulder, a metal stick colliding with his body as he merely scrunched his nose a bit, bearing with the pain before turning around and swinging his own bat down so it would collide with the man’s jaw. He fell down and Chanyeol took care of his next opponent who managed to land a punch on him which caused Chanyeol to feel something warm to trickle down his nose, a small trail of blood staining his skin.

 

In the heat of the battle, Chanyeol did not notice that he was not fighting off ten men and when the thought dawned on him a few seconds later, he looked around, eyes widening a bit in surprise at the sight that greeted him. A few feet away from, small figure was fighting off two men at once, an unconscious body at his feet. It took Chanyeol a mere second to recognize Baekhyun who got rid of his second opponent and moved on to the next one, his kicks and punches landing on the men one after the other as he worked efficiently, as if this was not the first time he got in this kind of fight, as if he was made for it. And it did look like he was made for it. It was almost as if he was dancing, following a precise rhythm as he fought, each move calculated and entrancing, so much that Chanyeol could not even question his unexpected presence here. It was an oddly beautiful sight, watching Baekhyun fight instead of being the one his hits were aimed at.

 

So much that it cost Chanyeol another punch, a heavy fist colliding with his jaw as he was too busy observing Baekhyun to pay attention to his own opponent. However, after the slight pain, he aimed his kicks and punches efficiently, his hold on his metal bat tight as he used it to get rid of his opponent. Once that was done, Chanyeol had no one left to fight, the remaining men had taken to get rid of Baekhyun instead and in the haziness that surprise had spread in his head, Chanyeol stood where he was, a few feet away from Baekhyun and observed.

 

A weird feeling took over him though, an odd feeling of déjà-vu spread through him as he watched Baekhyun fight while avoiding punches and kicks despite the small bruise on his eyebrow that let Chanyeol know he had not been able to avoid at least one of the attacks aimed at him. However, Chanyeol couldn’t focus on that as he stood there, gaze focused on the way Baekhyun moved, as fluid as water, as lethal as fire, and as swift as the wind. All of those elements almost formed an intricate choreography, a familiar one. Chanyeol could almost predict Baekhyun’s attacks or which side he would step to in order to avoid an attack.

 

He had already seen this once. More than once, maybe. The way Baekhyun fought. It was familiar and as Chanyeol frowned, somehow, everything around him was suddenly muted. He could only see Baekhyun, the look on his face as he won over his opponents one by one, and the way he moved. He couldn’t hear anything but a faint buzzing in his head, something that echoed. It was so familiar, he could almost see himself fighting in Baekhyun’s place if he closed his eyes. 

 

Which he did, a mere second later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"You have to hit harder, Baekhyunnie!" he panted, words loud yet breathy as he felt his body heavy with exhaustion._

 

_"I am hitting it as hard as I can, Chanyeol!" the boy standing in front of him groaned, a loud sound echoing in the room as a particularly strong hit followed his words, his fist colliding with the punching back that was hung up in front of him._

 

_"Is that all you can do?" Chanyeol teased him with a wide grin, chest heaving as his hands rested on his hips. He was tired but not even that could stop him from teasing his friend, his cute reaction almost enough for him to feel a bit more energized._

 

_The only reply he got was another groan and the shorter boy gave the hard bag a last hit before crumbling down on the floor where he sat only to lay down on his back right away, as if his body was too heavy for him to even hold it up in that position._

 

_Instantly, Chanyeol stepped closer to him and crouched down next to him._

 

_"Are you okay?" he asked the other, worried as one hand rested on Baekhyun’s shoulder._

 

_"Tired," the latter mumbled, eyes closed as he struggled to breath in a slower rhythm._

 

_"It’s been six months already. You should be used to it," Chanyeol mumbled softly, almost apologetically. He didn’t like seeing the other like this. Maybe this had been a bad decision. Maybe they shouldn’t have accepted this. Baekhyun was so small, so fragile, so weak, and Chanyeol didn’t like seeing him so exhausted day after day._

 

_"I’ll get used to it, silly. Didn’t I get better than the first day already?" Baekhyun said after a few silent seconds, finally opening his eyes and grinning up at Chanyeol who returned it with as much enthusiasm._

 

_"You are getting better, Baekhyun. However, you’ll have to work harder on your stamina and your movements are still not sharp and quick enough."_

 

_A third voice interrupted them, a faint one that came from someone who stood behind Chanyeol but the latter didn’t look at its owner, too busy making sure that Baekhyun was okay. It was his only priority._

 

_"I’m working on it," Baekhyun complained, even if his voice remained small. He didn’t dare raising his voice. No one would._

 

_"You’re still a child so I’m letting it go for now but work harder."_

 

_"He’s just tired," a loud voice intervened and Chanyeol took a second to realize that it was his own. "We’ve been training for hours now."_

 

_The man said something then but his words were muted, Chanyeol couldn’t hear them, even if he knew he was speaking._

 

 

 

_Suddenly, he found himself standing in front of Baekhyun who looked a bit less tired than earlier. His beautiful droopy eyes held a determined glint and his stature was strong and confident as he looked at Chanyeol._

 

_"I’m going to win this time," was all he said before the same third voice shouted something and Baekhyun suddenly ran towards him, his fingers tightened into a small fist that flew towards Chanyeol’s face._

 

_However, this was familiar to Chanyeol. This had happened so many times already and before the slightly shorter boy could touch him, he jumped to the side, avoiding the attack. And he did it again, and again, and one last time, chuckling softly as Baekhyun groaned in frustration. However, he was too predicable and it was not Chanyeol’s fault if it was easy for him to avoid every punch and kick. It wasn’t a bad thing though, Baekhyun might be determined to win this fight but Chanyeol wasn’t willing to hurt him. Baekhyun was so small, so fragile, so precious. Chanyeol couldn’t hurt him, he never would._

 

_It went on for a while before someone screamed an order and Chanyeol finally left his passive state of avoiding Baekhyun’s attacks. When Baekhyun tried aiming a kick at him, Chanyeol quickly moved, noting that this time, Baekhyun had almost managed to touch his nape. However, before he could do so, Chanyeol blocked him, hands tightening around his ankle before he swiped his leg along the floor, his ankle colliding with Baekhyun who had been standing on only one feet as a result of Chanyeol’s attack. The boy lost his balance in a matter of seconds and Chanyeol let go of his leg, grinning as he watched his friend’s back meet the floor._

 

_Quickly, he jumped down on him, settling on his smaller body and pressing his forearm against Baekhyun’s neck. The latter squirmed in protest for a bit before Chanyeol pressed on his neck harder and he froze, glaring at the taller who laughed, a smug smile lingering on his lips afterwards._

 

_"I won again."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If you’re done meditating, I wouldn’t mind getting some help here, Chanyeol!" 

 

That loud but familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts and his eyelids flew open again. He found himself in the same warehouse, Baekhyun still fighting off four people in front of him. He didn’t know for how long he had been out but the bruises on Baekhyun’s face had multiplied a bit, his lower lip split open. However, he didn’t even look tired, it was as if the fight thrilled him but Chanyeol knew that baekhyun wouldn’t ask for help if he didn’t need it. How did he know that for sure? He had no reply to that question, still shaken by the sudden memory that overwhelmed his mind. 

 

It took the assassin only a second to snap out of it and with a few strides, he reached the core of the fight and put himself to use, leaving every confused thought at the back of his mind for now in order to focus on the fight. As if in a silent agreement, Chanyeol took care of two men, leaving the remaining two to Baekhyun who only looked slightly relieved to have Chanyeol by his side. Oddly, it was comfortable fighting alongside Baekhyun, they almost matched each other, never once bumping into each other even if they managed to help each other from time to time, exchanging opponents as if this was a mere game, backing each other up, Baekhyun alerting Chanyeol of any attack from the back since he was faster than Chanyeol, the latter helping him when a metal bat was almost smashed on his head since Chanyeol was stronger. It was as if they had done this dozens of time before.

 

It took them only a few minutes before the four men joined the other ones on the floor, worn out and half unconscious, for some of them. They had won this fight together and almost at the same time, they crumbled on the floor, tired but feeling accomplished, at least on Chanyeol’s part. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, chest heaving, muscles almost sore from the exertion and knuckles reddened from the impact against bones. All around him, he could hear small grunts and whines of pain coming from Dongwook and his men but he simply focused on Baekhyun’s fast-paced breathing next to him and when he opened his eyes again, the latter was already looking at him, lips curved into that permanently amused smile.

 

His lower lip was bloodied on a corner, split open, and there was a smudge of blood on his left eyebrow, the only other detail that served as an injury that Baekhyun had gained during the fight. Other than that, there wasn’t really anything that even gave away what had just happened, only those injuries and the sweat glistening on his forehead, under the dark strands of hair that almost brushed his eyelashes. His hair was rather long, maybe he needed a haircut. However, Chanyeol couldn’t help but find Baekhyun more beautiful now than ever, a playful glint dancing in his beautiful dark orbs and a smile hanging on his lips, gaze fixed on Chanyeol.

 

"Surprise," was the only word Baekhyun said after a few silent seconds and Chanyeol couldn’t help it, he couldn’t contain the bubble of laughter that burst out of him. 

 

He wasn’t sure why he was laughing, maybe it was result of the nervousness that was brought by Baekhyun’s sudden appearance, maybe it was happiness over the fact that he could finally see the shorter, or maybe it was simply because this situation was kind of ridiculous, something that Chanyeol felt almost every time they were together. Maybe Baekhyun felt the same way because he was laughing along with Chanyeol before wincing when the stretch of his mouth hurt his lip. Chanyeol simply shook his head.

 

"I don’t know whether you have the best timing for surprises or the worst. Maybe you just don’t know how to make nice surprises."

 

"If my surprises aren’t nice, why were you laughing so stupidly a second ago? You can’t deny the happiness my surprises bring you," Baekhyun simply replied, calm, calculating, soothing as he looked at Chanyeol with his head tilted to the side.

 

"They bring more trouble than happiness," Chanyeol snorted, not even able to deny Baekhyun’s words.

 

"I just saved your sorry ass. Is that the right way to thank someone, Chanyeol-ah?" the other questioned even if it was obvious he didn’t mind.

 

Chanyeol simply sighed, choosing not to argue about that even if he knew he would have still won over everyone without Baekhyun’s help and simply taking another look at him before moving closer to him. He reached up with a hand, gaze trailing over the shorter’s features as his palm cupped his cheek, gently and carefully, as if Chanyeol was handling a precious and rare doll that had to be treated with utmost care even if he had just witness that Baekhyun was anything but fragile.

 

"You’re hurt," he simply commented, surprising himself when he heard so much disapproval in his own voice. Inside of his head, a small voice told him that he had failed something. He ignored the way that voice oddly sounded like a younger version of him.

 

"I guess you can take care of my injuries as a way of thanking me for helping you out," Baekhyun replied, smile softening the slightest as he leaned a bit into Chanyeol’s touch.

 

He didn’t look in pain, his ‘injuries’ were very minor and he would be okay without even needing to treat them. Chanyeol should have even focused on his own bleeding nose and his sore jaw, on his own tiny injuries, but instead he smiled at Baekhyun and stood up before heading towards the exit, barely audible footsteps following him out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You know, if you wanted to caress my face, you could have just asked. No need to do it with a cotton pad soaked with some stinky product."

 

Baekhyun’s words caused Chanyeol’s brows to furrow, his gaze shooting from the shorter’s bloodied eyebrow down to his eyes. Silently, he pressed down harshly on the bruise, satisfaction spreading through him when he saw Baekhyun wincing and pulling back a bit to escape the product that probably stung his bruise.

 

"Shut up," he simply said before moving down to the bruise on Baekhyun’s lips, trying his best to ignore the way his couplets were curved into an almost smug smile. He didn’t even try figuring out the reason behind it.

 

Chanyeol didn’t even know how they managed to end up like this, with Baekhyun settled on his couch and him sitting right across the shorter, a first aid kit on his table and a cotton pad in his hand that he used to gently dab at Baekhyun’s bruises. He had not taken care of his own injuries yet, his first reflex had been to make Baekhyun sit there and bring everything he needed to fix him up, almost forgetting that he was supposed to take care of himself too. Must be another weird habit from the past. 

 

"If you’re not nice with me, I certainly will not reciprocate this kind act by cleaning up your own bruises," Baekhyun mumbled, words almost unintelligible since Chanyeol was still cleaning his lower lip and he couldn’t move it too much.

 

"If you’re not nice with me, I certainly will not hesitate to kick you out of my house," the taller mimicked his words as he finished cleaning the small wound and grabbed some ointment that he applied on it afterwards, finger pad barely gazing Baekhyun’s flesh as he didn’t want to hurt him by applying too much pressure. 

 

Once done, he grabbed a bandaid that he carefully placed on the bruise near Baekhyun’s eyebrow, a soft hum of satisfaction escaping him once he was done with everything. Only then did he notice that he was close enough for Baekhyun’s breath to tickle his face. However, before he could even focus on that, his gaze was trapped in the shorter’s dark and yet sparkling one. Baekhyun had been looking at him all of this time, Chanyeol had felt it but he had tried not to pay attention to it, only focusing on his task. Now that he had nothing left to do, he could actually observe the other back. 

 

Baekhyun was looking at him weirdly. His gaze was familiar and yet so foreign, his eyes were dark and yet softened by an odd glint hidden deep in his irises. Maybe it was an emotion but Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to put a name on it, it was something that seemed to be the result of an alliance between happiness and sorrow, satisfaction and hesitation. Baekhyun’s gaze was somehow a mix between black and white, a beautiful one that maybe lacked something Chanyeol didn’t know about.

 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" the taller asked after a few seconds, leaning back to put some much needed distance between them.

 

"It looks like you still have some habits from the past," Baekhyun simply said, voice carefully neutral.

 

"What do you mean?" Chanyeol asked, even if he had thought about those same words a dozens of times in the past days.

 

"You always used to treat me like I would shatter into a million pieces if you pressed too hard on my skin," the shorter replied, gaze still holding onto Chanyeol’s.

 

"Maybe I’m just scared you’re going to disappear if I hold onto you tightly," he let his thoughts out of his mouth, almost not noticing it. "You disappear too easily."

 

Baekhyun simply smiled and Chanyeol didn’t add anything. It was so rare for Baekhyun to bring up the past first and he didn’t want to press on it further, scared that it would cause the other to shut him out again.

 

"I’ll thank you by doing the same thing to you," Baekhyun said, finally freeing Chanyeol’s gaze from the delightful hold of his own, and grabbing a clean cotton pad that he soaked in product before gently cleaning the path of blood that trailed down from Chanyeol’s nose and had dried on his skin. 

 

In spite of his earlier words, Baekhyun was totally gentle as he took care of Chanyeol’s injuries, softly blowing on his bruise so the product on the cotton pad wouldn’t stink too much, fingers pressing on the bridge of his nose with care as he asked if it hurt to check whether his nose was broken or not, almost massaging Chanyeol’s jaw as he applied ointment to the reddened skin. It was odd and Chanyeol was not used to someone else taking care of his injuries, it hadn’t happened in years and it felt odd, oddly pleasant to be on the receiving end of such care. Or maybe it felt that way only because it was Baekhyun. 

 

Once Baekhyun was done with his task, Chanyeol finally gathered the courage to speak out what he had been thinking about ever since they had left the warehouse.

 

"Earlier, when we were in the warehouse," he started, looking back at Baekhyun who pulled away to settle more comfortably on the couch, giving all his attention to Chanyeol. "I remembered something, it was kind of like a flashback."

 

The shorter froze for a split second before he leaned towards Chanyeol a little bit, anticipation dripping from his next words. "What was it?"

 

"It was," Chanyeol sighed, trying to piece back what was left in his memory. It was often difficult to remember it after some time. "It was about the two of us. I think we were still kids and I’m not sure where we were, I can’t remember what the place looked like but… We were training," he explained,  eyeing Baekhyun whose features did not leave room for any kind of emotion.

 

"Go on," he simply said.

 

"We were training together and you were kind of having some difficulty, I think. We talked a bit but someone interrupted us, it was a man’s voice but I don’t remember who he was, what he looked like, or what he was doing here. He only told you to work harder and after that he made us fight. I won," he added.

 

Somehow, a weight lifted off his chest as soon as he was done speaking. It was the first time he had the occasion to share a memory with anyone and Chanyeol had not even noticed how burdensome it was to keep everything for himself. However, Baekhyun’s eyebrows were furrowed, as if he did not like what Chanyeol had just shared with him. The latter parted his lips, intending to ask what was wrong, but before he could even utter a single word, that expression was wiped off Baekhyun’s features and instead, a beautiful smile blossomed on his face, a genuine one that somehow made Chanyeol feel as lucky as someone who had stumbled into a flower that had managed to be strong enough to survive the harsh winter.

 

"I’m glad you remember!" was all Chanyeol heard before he suddenly got an armful of Baekhyun who wrapped his own arms around Chanyeol’s neck, his embrace warm and genuine. 

 

"I’m glad too," Chanyeol chuckled softly, a smile lingering on his lips as he returned the embrace by wrapping his arms around Baekhyun’s smaller body. It was nice.

 

"Maybe soon, you’ll be able to completely remember me," the smaller mumbled and as he deciphered the deep hope in his voice, Chanyeol’s chest ached a bit.

 

It looked like Baekhyun wanted Chanyeol to remember him more than the latter did and he wasn’t sure whether that saddened him or made him feel happy.

 

"I hope so too," he sighed, biting his lower lip to contain his next words, which he failed to do. "Maybe the process would be easier if you helped me out a bit."

 

"How do you want me to help you about that?" Baekhyun asked, pulling away and looking at the taller with something akin to determination in his eyes. Maybe Baekhyun would do anything to make Chanyeol remember, the latter thought.

 

"You could actually tell me the whole story," he said, not even surprised when Baekhyun sighed right away. This was not the first time that it happened. "I’m serious, Baekhyun. I remember things but I don’t understand them and you never explain anything either."

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun said in warning tone, putting some distance between them by sitting father away from Chanyeol on the couch, as if he was ready to jump up and disappear at any second now. "I told you several times already. You have to remember on your own." 

 

Something in Chanyeol snapped at those words. He had heard them so many times already and they still frustrated him as much as the first day. They were still having the same argument and Chanyeol was tired of it.

 

"Why, Baekhyun? Just why?" he asked, frowning and angry both because Baekhyun never told him anything even if it concerned him and because something always ruined everything. "And don’t give me that ‘I want you to remember me on your own’ bullshit, there must be another reason," he spat out, not stopping even if he saw Baekhyun flinch at his words.

 

"You seem to be insulting me often nowadays, Chanyeol. If there’s someone you should be angry at, it’s yourself. Between the both of us, I’m not the one who forgot everything," the other retorted, words dripping with venom, as sharp as arrows that pierced through Chanyeol’s chest.

 

"So you’re blaming me? Why the hell are you blaming me? I don’t know anything about what happened because someone doesn’t feel like putting an end to his stupid mind games."

 

"Mind games? Are you saying I’m just playing with you? I just saved your ass an hour ago and that’s what you’re saying? You’re the one blaming me for nothing!"

 

"Can’t you fucking see that I hate this? I hate this situation and you’re not even helping me, Baekhyun," Chanyeol groaned, voice rumbling with anger. He hated this. He really did.

 

"Listen, Chanyeol," Baekhyun took a deep breath, exhaling those words and closing his eyes for a second, seemingly trying to get a hold of himself. "Do you think I enjoy this? Do you think spending time with someone who remembers next to nothing about me makes me feel happy? Do you think I  never notice the way you can’t seem to actually trust me?" he asked and despite being slightly calmer, Chanyeol still had no time to waste on this. Baekhyun was simply trying to appease him and he wouldn’t let him do so. He knew where this would end.

 

"What’s your point?" he spat out, trying hard not let the flame of anger that burst in his eyes spread through his whole body. 

 

"Remembering everything will not make you happy. It’ll change your life, it might hurt. We have good memories but we have bad ones too, our past is not completely clean. I don’t want to push you to remember everything. I don’t want you to blame me," he said, voice trembling a bit before he faltered. "When you remember everything, I don’t want you to blame me for forcing you into this," he continued and once again, a curtain of calculated blankness covered his features.

 

"I’m blaming you now too, I don’t think it’ll change anything," Chanyeol answered, voice not holding anger anymore, only frustration. At Baekhyun but mainly at himself, because seeing Baekhyun so affected by this conversation made him want to backpedal so fast. "Wouldn’t it be easier to just tell me? For both of us?" he tried resonating.

 

"How do you know you’re ready to remember everything, Chanyeol?" he asked instead of replying.

 

"Why do you think I’m not ready?" Chanyeol did the same thing, wanting Baekhyun to know that he was not the only one able to play this sly game of replying to questions with questions of his own.

 

"Once again, you’re not asking yourself the right questions, Chanyeol. You’re not paying attention to the right thing," Baekhyun simply sighed, gaze never once leaving Chanyeol who waited for him to continue. "Did you think about what I told you?" 

 

"You’re telling me a lot of things, Baekhyun. Most of them are useless things I don’t understand so you're going to have to be a little more precise," he retorted, not even surprising himself when his voice dripped with sarcasm.

 

"While you’re being sarcastic and moody with me, what’s your boss doing, Chanyeol?" 

 

And that sentence was enough for Chanyeol’s protective instincts to snap his anger back out of its cage.

 

"What do you mean?" he asked through gritted teeth, hands tightening into fists.

 

"Do you trust him blindly? Did he teach you to do that? What is he saying about me, Chanyeol? Did you think about any of this at all?" Baekhyun listed all these questions and Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether he was doing this on purpose bc he was hurt by the latter’s earlier words but he hated it. He hated anyone accusing Junmyeon of such things.

 

"Why do you bring Junmyeon up all the fucking time? Do you even know what you’re saying? There’s no reason for you to talk about him like this," he warned the other, hoping that Baekhyun considerate himself lucky because had he been anyone else, he would have already lost a few teeth or a lot of blood. Chanyeol wasn’t even sure why he was staying still right now.

 

"Why? That’s a good question! One that you should ask yourself before your foolishness leads you into bad things. Can’t you see what that bastard is doing to you?" Baekhyun finally exploded, raising his voice as he leaned closer to Chanyeol, as if that would make the latter listen to him better.

 

However, it didn’t. Chanyeol was far gone in his rage to even be able to actually see Baekhyun. Who was Baekhyun even? How could he talk this way about _Junmyeon?_ No one was allowed to talk about his leader that way, no one and certainly not Baekhyun.

 

"I can perfectly see what he’s doing to me!" Chanyeol’s voice boomed through the apartment, spreading scalding hot waves of anger that made Baekhyun flinch. "That man saved my life, Baekhyun. He made me into the person I am today. He is the closest thing I have to a brother or even a father. I owe my life to him and as someone who just incrusted into my life and made a mess out of everything, you have no fucking right to talk about him this way. I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate about Junmyeon but I can see what you’re doing to me and let me tell you, you bring me anything but good things. That’s why I won’t allow you to keep trying to shove those dumb ideas into my head and if you’re only here to do that, then get out of my house." 

 

He was almost out of breath once he was done getting everything out of his chest and only then did he pay attention to the effect Baekhyun had on him. When he saw the way Baekhyun’s jaw was clenched tightly, his whole body tense, and the betrayed look staining his soft features, Chanyeol’s own breath stopped and the realization of what he had just said hit him like a truck. He should feel lighter but instead, a heavy feeling weighed down on his chest stronger than the words he had been holding in until now.

 

However, he couldn’t say anything else, anger still rambling deep inside of his body. Baekhyun broke the silence only a second later, the shaky sound he made as he inhaled resonating in the completely silent apartment. The almost heartbroken look on his face was once again wiped away by a blank façade and he stood up in a quick movement, glaring down at Chanyeol enough for the latter to know angry storms were ripping everything apart in his mind.

 

"You’re so damn blind."

 

Those were his last words before he turned around, storming out of the room with quick strides until he disappeared out of the door that closed behind him with a slam that made Chanyeol flinch.

 

Silence embraced him again once Baekhyun was gone, as heartily as an old and loyal friend that would never leave Chanyeol’s side. It painfully reminded him of the last time Baekhyun had walked out of his door with a last kiss, a warm smile, and a promise he had kept. This time, there was none of that, no warmth, no affection, and most importantly, no word that let Chanyeol know this wouldn’t be the last time he’d see Baekhyun. 

 

As soon as that thought hit him, he recalled the words he had angrily spat out mere seconds ago and the look on Baekhyun’s face. His betrayed expression flashed behind his closed eyelids and a furry of emotions tightened like a rope around Chanyeol’s neck, an unfamiliar one squeezing him the strongest. Regret.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After spending a whole hour miserably cursing himself on his old couch, Chanyeol had managed to stand up and leave his house again, heading to Junmyeon’s instead because he might feel like never talking to anyone for the next week but he had still a job to do and reporting to Junmyeon about his missions was part of it.

 

He wasn’t even sure how he would be able to properly look at Junmyeon when he had just fought with Baekhyun because of him a mere hour ago. As much as Chanyeol tried telling himself it wasn’t important, he couldn’t dismiss the thoughts and the fight kept replaying in his head, Baekhyun’s last words before leaving echoing in his mind again and again. A voice kept whispering in his head, warning him, telling him to pay attention to the right things but he ignored it. This had not been the first time Baekhyun had tried telling him not to trust Junmyeon but there was no way what he kept trying to say was true. Right? There was no reason for him to suspect Junmyeon of anything. 

 

Even if he was already regretting talking that way to Baekhyun. He was so small, so weak, so fragile, and Chanyeol had been the cause behind that heartbroken glint in his eyes. He made Chanyeol feel as if he had chosen Junmyeon over him. Maybe he hated Chanyeol now. Maybe he’d never come and surprise him anymore. Maybe he would disappear forever this time. That thought caused something in his chest to squeeze harshly, as if it was screaming at Chanyeol in protest. He didn’t even want to think about a life without Baekhyun anymore. Chanyeol wasn’t sure what they were, he wasn’t sure whether he could label Baekhyun as a friend or something more, or something less, but he didn’t want to never see Baekhyun again. He was the only thing Chanyeol had in his hands to find the answers he was looking for. His life would be so dull without the thrill and the confusing emotions Baekhyun brought to it. 

 

Maybe he shouldn’t have reacted that way. Maybe he should simply call Baekhyun and apologize, he had given Chanyeol his actual number that day they had spent together and Chanyeol had never had to use it to contact him yet but there was a reason why Baekhyun had given it to him, right? And Baekhyun wouldn’t say such things about Junmyeon without any reason.

 

At that thought, Chanyeol backpedalled right away. What was he even thinking about? Of course whatever Baekhyun had said about Junmyeon was wrong. Junmyeon would never do anything behind Chanyeol’s back, nothing to harm him, at least.

 

When he arrived in front of the elder’s house, he finally shook those thoughts away, only focusing on the anger Baekhyun had made him feel. Whatever he had told Baekhyun was true, he had no right to say such things about Junmyeon.

 

With a last sigh, he rang the bell and waited a few seconds for someone to open the door. The woman who greeted him was a familiar one who had been working at Junmyeon’s house for a while now, she was one of the rare persons the elder kept and he wondered how much money he gave her to keep her mouth shut. Or rather, what he had done in exchange of her silence.

 

Chanyeol greeted her with a nod, humming when she told him Junmyeon was in his office, before heading there without pronouncing any other word. When he arrived there and knocked on the door, faint voices already greeted him, two different voices seeming to hold a heated conversion even if he couldn’t decipher what was being said. He waited for Junmyeon to tell him to come in and once he heard him through the wooden door, he opened it and stepped inside.

 

"Hi, Chanyeol-ah," Junmyeon greeted him as he usually did, albeit a little less cheery, and Chanyeol’s eyes flickered to Minseok who was settled on the armchair in front of the elder’s desk, his usual blank expression hung on his face. 

 

"Hi," Chanyeol said, no words leaving his mouth when he sensed the tense atmosphere in the room.

 

"Come, sit down. What brings you here?" Junmyeon asked as Chanyeol sat down across from Minseok, his eyes continuously flickering between the two others. They had stopped talking as soon as Chanyeol had entered the room which meant they had not been talking about the usual business-related or mundane things.

 

"I came to report about the mission I had today," he replied carefully, gaze resting on Junmyeon.

 

"Right. How did it go?"

 

"Bad," he snorted before shrugging. "They rejected the deal with the other gang and they thought it would be a good idea to beat me up to seal their rejection."

 

"That sounds like a bad idea," Junmyeon frowned in what Chanyeol recognized as worry before his gaze trailed over the latter’s features. "You’re hurt," he noted as Minseok remained silent, nothing unusual.

 

"It’s nothing big, you should see the others’ state," Chanyeol shrugged again, clearing his throat when he remembered the way Baekhyun had helped him out and even got hurt during that fight. 

 

"I don’t need to see them to know you were the winner of that fight, it’s nothing surprising," the elder smiled, looking rather proud of Chanyeol.

 

"Yep," the latter nodded. "I guess we’ll soon hear news of a gang fight."

 

"Well, rats have to somehow occupy themselves when the cat is not there to rip their head off with its claws. Let them be, we did out part and we got our money," Junmyeon concluded, leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms against his chest. 

 

"Right," Chanyeol chuckled a bit before glancing at Minseok.

 

"What are you doing here, hyung?"

 

"Visiting," Minseok simply replied and Chanyeol hummed.

 

"What were you talking about earlier?" he finally asked, curious. "I heard you before coming in and you seemed to be talking about something important."

 

"We were indeed having a serious conversation," Junmyeon sighed, pursing his lips as he drummed his fingers against the hard surface of his desk, a gesture that either meant he was bored or irritated. Chanyeol didn’t even have to think to know which one it was.

 

"Something’s bothering you. What happened?" he asked.

 

"We got a new deal."

 

"And?" Chanyeol pushed him, knowing that it was not the core of the problem.

 

"It’s an irritating one," Junmyeon added.

 

"I thought nothing that brought us money and involved blood was irritating," Chanyeol raised a brow, a little amused.

 

"Of course, nothing that brings us money and involves blood is irritating," Junmyeon huffed amusedly. "But that’s not the case when it involves Light too." 

 

"What?" Chanyeol let out, not expecting to hear that name coming out of Junmyeon’s mouth. Instantly, his whole attention snapped to the elder.

 

"He’s not only irritating us," Junmyeon frowned, voice filled with distaste. Chanyeol glanced at Minseok’s blank face, meeting his eyes for a second before looking back at Junmyeon.

 

"What happened?" he asked, as calmly as he could even though each cell of his body was alarmed. Did something happen after Baekhyun left his house?

 

"He killed one of Cobra’s higher-ups," Minseok finally said, replying in Junmyeon’s stead.

 

"Cobra? The leading mafia of this city?" Chanyeol asked, sounding detached.

 

"Stupid, right?" Junmyeon snorted, shaking his head. "That foolish kid had the guts to do that too."

 

"What does it have to do with us though?" Chanyeol asked, confused. That sounded bad, really bad. Minseok was already supposed to kill Baekhyun and Chanyeol thought the latter was hiding well so why would he draw attention to himself by doing such a stupid thing?

 

"Cobra asked us to collaborate with them to take care of this. No one gets away with killing a member of Cobra and they’re really angry. No one had dared going as far as killing one of their important members and most importantly, no one had succeeded in doing it. They’re ready to do anything to make Light pay back and since they’re lacking in the skilled assassin department and we’re having some trouble with Light too, I simply accepted the deal when their leader offered it to me," Junmyeon explained, fingers still drumming on the desk, slowly, as if following an enchanting beat. Chanyeol could feel Minseok’s gaze on him.

 

"That means we have to get rid of Light?" he casually asked, not letting anything appear on his features.

 

"We do. We already did anyway, now we’ll just have Cobra’s help and that will only benefit us. The more people look for him, the easier it is for us to watch him, right?" Junmyeon asked him, as casually as if he was asking Chanyeol about tomorrow’s weather forecast.

 

"Yeah, it’ll be easier for us this way. Cobra will make it easier for us to find him," Chanyeol hummed, leaning back against his chair. 

 

When he looked up, Minseok was not looking at him anymore, paying attention to what Junmyeon was telling him instead. However, Chanyeol could not pay attention to any of the sentences exchanged between the two elders. The only thing in his mind was the new information he had to take in and the loud sound of alarm bells blaring in his head.

 

Baekhyun had killed one of Cobra’s higher-ups. He was wanted dead by the strongest crime group of the city. Venom was supposed to collaborate with them in order to get rid of Baekhyun. Chanyeol was supposed to collaborate with them to get rid of Baekhyun. Baekhyun was  in deep trouble, he had gotten himself in deep trouble. He had done the most stupid thing anyone could do in this city and Chanyeol was supposed to participate in the revenge that had to be taken. He did his best to breath normally.

 

Why the hell had he done that? Baekhyun’s not stupid. No one sane would do that. But Baekhyun did.

 

Worry was eating Chanyeol’s insides away and he was amazed by himself when he managed to participate the slightest in Junmyeon and Minseok’s conversation. Suddenly, he regretted everything he had said to Baekhyun in their fight, because now, there was no way for him to even be sure that he was safe and alive. It didn’t even make sense for him to worry about it so much but this situation was the worst thing that could have happened. It only made everything even more complicated and when Chanyeol was dreading not being able to see Baekhyun because he had hurt him, now there was the possibility of not being able to see him because one of his peers would actually kill him.

 

He spent the next ten minutes in Junmyeon’s office worrying inwardly while participating in the meaningless conversations of the elders before it was too much for him and he excused himself, doing his best to do so casually before leaving the house with yet another headache caused by Baekhyun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As soon as he stepped into his own house, he headed towards his bedroom, not even turning the television on like he would do every night, and simply fumbling to find his phone in his jacket’s pocket. He settled on his bed with rushed movements, unlocking the device and going through his contacts until he found the name he was looking for, thumb hovering over it.

 

This did not make sense. It had been only a little less than three hours since Baekhyun had left his house and when he had done so, they had both been hurt and angry. He probably wouldn’t even pick up the phone after what Chanyeol had said. He probably would never want to see Chanyeol again.

 

However, that didn’t change the fact that Baekhyun had done something stupid and that would probably cost him his life. And Chanyeol was part of those who were supposed to take his life away. Which he should gladly do after their earlier fight. He probably should not even call Baekhyun, he was supposed to be angry at him for saying those things about Junmyeon. But Baekhyun was in danger and Chanyeol’s heart had not stopped beating crazily to the rhythm of the alarm bells still ringing in his mind ever since he had heard about what happened at Junmyeon’s house.

 

All his thoughts were clashing against each other in his head, contradicting and crazy, and to put an end to it, he took a deep breath before pressing on Baekhyun’s name on the screen. He brought the phone to his ear, biting his lower lip as he waited for someone to pick up.

 

 _"What?"_ a snappy voice replaced the infuriating beeping sound after long seconds and Chanyeol took a deep breath, finally relaxing when the thoughts in his head stopped piercing his skull and he could focus on Baekhyun’s voice. Even if he sounded anything but pleased to receive this call.

 

"Did you kill one of Cobra’s higher-ups?" was the first thing that left his mouth as soon as he could speak.

 

Silence answered him for three long seconds. 

 

 _"I am still angry and upset because of your stupid self and the first thing you do when I pity you enough to pick up the call is ask me about business? I’m hanging up on you, Chanyeol,"_ the voice on the other line replied, stern and upset. Chanyeol cursed inwardly.

 

"No, wait!" Chanyeol immediately interjected, panicking since he knew Baekhyun would actually dare hanging up on him. Hearing his voice was somehow comforting and he wanted to keep listening to it, it helped untie the knots in his head. "That’s not what I wanted to say," he mumbled.

 

 _"What do you want? Why are you calling me?"_ Baekhyun questioned mercilessly.

 

"How are you?" Chanyeol asked awkwardly after a second of pause.

 

_"I’m great, the usual. Just staying away from a certain person so I won’t bring anything but good things into his life."_

 

At those words, Chanyeol took a deep breath, biting on his lower lip hard. Baekhyun seemed to really be upset about what Chanyeol had told him earlier and the latter’s worries about Baekhyun’s safety suddenly turned into worries about whether he would be able to fix this situation or not. He wanted to, even if he was supposed to be angry and upset about what Baekhyun had said about Junmyeon, even if he was supposed to hate him because of that because Chanyeol would _never_ allow anyone to say such things about someone so important to him. However, the uncertainty of his relationship with Baekhyun was driving him crazy. He couldn’t just go on with his life when the fear of Baekhyun not being a part of it anymore was constantly present. Baekhyun was a habit now, he was a part of Chanyeol’s life, a part he wanted to figure out completely. He knew it was not normal for him to feel so desperate about someone he barely even actually knew but as always, Chanyeol blamed the child in him, the one who took beatings for Baekhyun in the past, the one who constantly cared about him, who scolded Baekhyun for stealing a bracelet he was now still wearing around his wrist.

 

His free hand reached up, fingers grabbing the black and white ropes of the bracelet Baekhyun had left him in the warehouse before he took a deep breath, surprising himself with his next words.

 

"Listen, Baekhyun," he said, aware that the latter could hang up on him at any moment. "I’m… I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it, I just… You can’t just expect me to stay calm when someone insults the man who’s so important to me, I can’t let anyone do that because I owe Junmyeon so much and had it been anyone else, I would have reacted the same way," he said, stopping for a second when he heard the other sigh through the phone, the line grizzling a bit with his breath. "But what I said about you, I didn’t mean it. You don’t only bring bad things to me, even if I’m confused about everything most of the time. You bring so much things to me, things I never felt before, or at least things I don’t remember feeling and I don’t want to lose that. I just have so many questions and I can understand if you don’t want to give me their answers but please, just try seeing things through my point of view. I’m sorry, alright?"

 

His last words were pronounced with uncertainty, almost with the awkwardness of someone who rarely ever apologized in his life, especially not for defending the man who made him into the person he was today. However, he couldn’t lose Baekhyun. Even if he couldn’t understand why that was so important to him, even if he hated himself for even apologizing when he knew he had been right in saying those things to Baekhyun. However, Baekhyun had always made him do things he would have never imagined doing and Chanyeol hated how vulnerable it made him feel, he hated how deep he was lost in this. It was bad and really dangerous but he was getting used to it by now, to the frustration and the confusion, and the bunch of feelings Baekhyun drowned him in.

 

However, when silence answered him once he was done speaking, not a word pronounced by Baekhyun, he tensed up and a cold feeling started spreading through his veins, agitation and panic starting to blind him. Feelings he rarely ever felt.

 

It was melted away when Baekhyun finally spoke a few seconds later.

 

 _"How are you? It’s late, have you eaten yet?"_ the other asked and this time, his voice held no venom and no anger, it was softened, as warm as it usually was.

 

And it was enough for Chanyeol to know that Baekhyun would drop the fight, that it was okay. Even if Chanyeol knew everything around them was slowly crumbling down and threatening them to be crushed under heavy weights, it would be okay.

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

"Where the hell is Jongdae?" 

 

"I’m not sure, boss. I mean, he didn’t really have anything scheduled for today so I guess he’s going to be here soon," Jongin’s calm voice replied but Chanyeol didn’t bother looking up from his phone.

 

"Call him, Minseok. I’m not paying him to be late at our meetings because he’s busy fucking random chicks in dirty bathrooms."

 

"Sure."

 

Chanyeol simply sighed, choosing not to participate or even pay attention to Jongin’s soothing and well-chosen words as he tried to calm Junmyeon down, the latter continuously pacing in front of the window while probably debating whether he should grab a gun to shoot Jongdae’s arm as soon as he’d appear behind the gates. The man had been rather tensed up today and it had not been difficult for Chanyeol to notice it as soon as he had stepped into his office less than fifteen minutes ago. Junmyeon had been kind of on edge ever since it had been announced that Baekhyun had shot down one of Cobra’s higher-ups and Chanyeol wondered what was at stake for the elder to be so serious about it. He had never been the kind to openly panic or show the gravity of a situation. 

 

Not that Chanyeol didn’t feel a dozen times worse than Junmyeon did. He wasn’t sure what to do, how to properly react to the situation, and what to think about all of this. Baekhyun had done a stupid mistake and it would probably cost him his life, a life that was to be taken either by Chanyeol or someone in this room. The thought caused Chanyeol to sink his teeth into his lower lip and the fact that he hadn’t heard anything from Baekhyun since that phone conversation two days ago simply made everything worse. He didn’t reply to any message Chanyeol sent him, didn’t call, didn’t randomly appear when Chanyeol returned from a kill at night, and this was usual, Baekhyun always disappeared for at least three days before contacting Chanyeol again but this time, he was wanted dead by the country’s biggest crime group. It was only slightly worse than being Minseok’s target and yet, Chanyeol couldn’t help but worry.

 

At least, he was sure that Baekhyun wasn’t dead. If he had already been killed by one of Cobra’s men, Junmyeon would have announced it with a wide victorious smile that made him look like a businessman who had just completed an important deal and not the head of an infamous and feared assassin clan. That might seem like nothing but it was still a bit reassuring, Baekhyun was probably still alive and Chanyeol hoped he was hiding somewhere no one could reach. 

 

Which, once again, made him sigh but he was used to feeling this way about the assassin now. He had come to terms with the odd feelings he nurtured for Baekhyun and he couldn’t put a name on them but he at least knew he wanted Baekhyun to be alive, preferably for a long time. Even if he still had the reflex of frowning whenever he recalled the last conversation he had with Baekhyun about Junmyeon. He glanced at the latter, observing the impatient glint in his eyes, he seemed worried and Chanyeol was sure it wasn’t about Jongdae being late, there must be a deeper reason and it must be really bad for the elder to show those feelings on his face so much. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes, Junmyeon had been loosing sleep. Chanyeol wondered if he still took the sleeping pills regularly, the ones Chanyeol used to remind him about when he was still fourteen and living with Junmyeon. He had the bad habit of forgetting to take care of his health, even if Chanyeol knew he had an amazing memory that enabled him to remember everything, faces, names, past deals, enemies, and unforgivable wrongdoings.

 

Baekhyun’s words still echoed in his head sometimes, his crestfallen expression when Chanyeol had naturally defended Junmyeon that day and his last words before leaving Chanyeol’s apartment. It might all have been an act, nothing told Chanyeol that it was safe to trust Baekhyun, he was still a stranger Chanyeol actually knew nothing about besides his name, his skills as an assassin, and the fact that they shared a common past. And yet, it was impossible for Chanyeol to actually think Baekhyun would lie to him. It was almost unnerving, the way his whole being wanted to trust Baekhyun when he knew it was impossible for anything he said about Junmyeon to be true. 

 

What did Baekhyun even say though? There had never actually been any direct accusations, he had never told Chanyeol anything bad about Junmyeon, he had simply warned him a few times and always with the same words. He simply kept telling Chanyeol not to trust Junmyeon and kept pulling his attention towards the elder’s attitude concerning Baekhyun. Somehow, after spending two whole days rewinding all those conversations he had both with Baekhyun and Junmyeon lately and replaying them in his head over and over again, Chanyeol couldn’t help but actually wonder. What would Baekhyun gain out of making Chanyeol suspicious of Junmyeon? Nothing. Since the beginning, he had only tried earning Chanyeol’s attention with those stolen kills and up until now, he merely asked Chanyeol to remember him. Therefore, why would he lie to Chanyeol about this?

 

Moreover, he couldn’t deny the fact that Junmyeon’s attitude towards Baekhyun – or Light, as he kept calling him his way – was not exactly suspicious but rather unusual when compared to whatever trouble concerning enemies they had encountered in the past. The leader usually always stayed calm, always gave the right directions, and always focused only on what was important, not letting small enemies affecting the clan’s wellbeing. However, this time it was fairly different from the usual, Junmyeon was anything but calm when it came to dealing with Light, on the contrary, he had always been rather impatient, demanding, and kept rushing Chanyeol to deal with the situation since the beginning. Even now, sometimes, he could see his dissatisfaction with Light still being alive and Minseok’s failure to ever locate him. Things were worse now, he knew that Cobra and Venom had been partners for more than a year already but it was odd for him to accept a deal that merely involved killing Baekhyun. Chanyeol finally raised his gaze up from his phone’s screen and let it fall on Junmyeon, observing him as he eventually sat down, folding his arms on his desk before leaning back against his chair and drumming the fingers of one hand on the hard surface instead. However, what was the most eye-catching was his attitude ever since he had told Chanyeol about what had happened between Light and Cobra, the way he was fidgety, restless, too worried for something that didn’t even directly concern him. He tensed up each time Light was brought up and Baekhyun had stressed on what Junmyeon said about him several times already.

 

Could he really be hiding something from Chanyeol? Should he really suspect him? Should he not trust him, like Baekhyun had said? Did he really have any reason to, when Junmyeon had been nothing but kind to him until now? 

 

Suddenly, the door was thrown open and a small but swift figure slipped in, closing it behind him.

 

"Sorry! The roads were rather full this morning and I had a hard time arriving on time but now that I’m here, the scary mafia and assassins themed party can start!"

 

Jongdae uttered those words in a  single breath, a feline smile curled on his lips as he looked at Junmyeon. Chanyeol knew him well enough to discern the worried glint in his eyes and it wasn’t surprising, an angry Junmyeon was a scary one that no one would like to encounter, even the usually carefree Jongdae.

 

"Next time you arrive more than fifteen minutes late, find a better excuse or I’ll chop your hand off to make sure it’ll be harder for you to find anyone to distract you on meeting days again," Junmyeon warned Jongdae, the gravity in his voice hanging in the silent room. 

 

"I’ll make sure not to give you a reason to chop off those beautiful bloodied hands that bring you a lot of money then, boss," Jongdae replied, still with his default amused smile but voice holding a little more seriousness. Even he knew Junmyeon wasn’t joking in spite of the fact that if he were to harm any of them, it would be because of a much worse reason.

 

"That idiot’s gonna get shot one day," Jongin leaned to whisper to him once Jongdae had settled in the armchair accros from the couch they were sitting on together.

 

Of course, Jongdae managed to hear Jongin who probably intended for it to happen and he gave them a shrug accompanied by a cheesy wink. That meant the person who had caused him to be late had been worth the scolding and Chanyeol merely shook his head, exasperated and barely amused. 

 

"Alright, now that you’re all here we can start," the leader announced, gaze trailing over the occupants of the room, Jongin and Chanyeol who were seated together, Jongdae across from them, and Minseok who had moved to stand next to the window, back leaned against the wall and arms crossed against his chest. 

 

"As some of you already know," Junmyeon continued, gaze lingering on Chanyeol for a second before he continued looking at everyone one by one. "We made a deal with Cobra and this is not like any of the ones we made in the past, in spite of the semblance. We agreed to collaborate in order to find Light and get rid of him."

 

"Why does Cobra want to kill Light Bulb Guy too?" Jongdae asked, now completely serious and focused in the meeting.

 

"Because he killed one of Cobra’s higher-ups. It was the guy in charge of the drug trafficking branch, right?" Jongin replied, not surprising anyone. He always knew everything that happened in the underground world both because of his status as a hacker and because he had too many ‘acquaintances,’ as he liked to call them.

 

"That’s right," the leader nodded. "Oh Sehun talked to me about it and when I mentioned we were after the guy as well, he offered to join forces since they know it’s basically impossible to locate Light and they’ve always relied on us for anything involving murder anyway. It will benefit us as well."

 

"Didn’t you ever manage to locate him, hyung?" Jongin asked, looking at Minseok who had been silent until now.

 

"No. I guess he fits the name he’s given himself."

 

Chanyeol had to bite on his lower lip to stop himself from saying that Baekhyun had not given that name to himself. It was already difficult enough to just sit down and listen to them talk about Baekhyun as if he was just another usual target and a single mistake would give everything away. 

 

"True, he’s everywhere and yet you can’t actually get a hold of him," Jongin hummed.

 

"Well, he might fit it but he could have at least chosen a cooler name. I can’t even take him seriously," Jongdae snorted.

 

It took Chanyeol a few seconds to notice his hand had curled into a tight fist and it took him another second to understand why he was reacting this way. It didn’t feel nice to hear anyone talking that way about the nickname he had given Baekhyun when they were still kids. He might not remember the whole context but he knew it was dear to him and to Baekhyun as well if he had kept it as his assassin alias. He wondered what Baekhyun’s feelings concerning that nickname were, he didn’t remember ever hearing him talk about that. 

 

"The real question’s why did he kill that guy. Is it mere foolishness or was he paid by an enemy of Cobra’s?" Jongin wondered out loud.

 

Chanyeol wanted to know the answer to that exact question too. There must be a reason. Baekhyun was far from being stupid and he might be an assassin everyone just started hearing about not long ago but he was probably fully aware of the consequences of such an act. There must be something behind that and Chanyeol needed to find it out. He also needed to contact Baekhyun, tell him to be careful, and probably curse him for doing this. Didn’t he know Venom and Cobra were the two crime groups _no one_ should mess with in this country? And now he was tailed by both of them.

 

"It doesn’t matter, we’re only going to focus on the fact that he committed such an unforgivable act and that Cobra wants him dead as soon as possible."

 

Chanyeol felt his eyebrows pull into a frown, a wave of anger started lurching in his chest as he heard everyone talking about Baekhyun as if he was just another target. Why were they so intent on killing him? Why did Junmyeon get so involved in this? Baekhyun hadn’t done anything wrong. He _must_ have a reason behind all those actions. 

 

"Are we all going to participate in this then? Not just Minseok hyung?" he heard Jongdae ask but didn’t bother looking at him, his gaze only moving to rest on Junmyeon. He was way calmer now, taking on his usual role of leader and spilling orders and informations. 

 

Chanyeol felt Jongin looking at him, still silently sitting next to him and he knew his dissatisfaction with the situation was showing on his face but he couldn’t focus on it. Top many people wanted Baekhyun dead for him to focus on anything else but that thought. Would Baekhyun be able to survive on his own? He couldn’t die. Baekhyun wouldn’t die and Chanyeol wouldn’t be able let him go. He had still to many questions, too much time to catch up on, he had just found Baekhyun and he didn’t want to lose him so quickly. His chest tightened at the thought that he might lose Baekhyun without being able to do anything to prevent it.

 

"We will. Cobra will continue looking for him all around the city and Jongin will help as well. He might have fled to another city, I don’t think he’s stupid enough to stay here after what he did."

 

That explained it. Maybe that was the reason why Baekhyun didn’t contact Chanyeol. Maybe he was just hiding and trying to stay alive while Chanyeol was here, listening to his friends and colleagues forming plans to find him and get rid of him. It was because of all this that Chanyeol couldn’t see Baekhyun now and it was oddly way more irritating that he had expected it to be. Not being able to contact Baekhyun made him restless and it didn’t make sense but Chanyeol didn’t find it weird either.

 

"I’ll help, I’ll look through CCTV cameras around the city in places he has a chance of being seen and around the country but it would take a lot of time, asking around in the streets might be easier at least for places outside of Seoul," Jongin replied and despite keeping his gaze on Junmyeon, Chanyeol could feel his best friend continuously glancing at him. 

 

"Jongdae will mainly focus on his usual kills but pay attention to what people say while you torture them. Minseok will continue looking around and we’ll share anything we find with Cobra. Light has been irritating us for a while and I won’t tolerate it anymore, it’s starting to be a pain in the ass. As soon as you find him, shoot him. Don’t even bring him somewhere for questioning, that’s not what Cobra wants either. Just get rid of him and do whatever it takes to be successful."

 

"Are we sure Light’s the one who did this though?" 

 

The sudden question cut through the heavy atmosphere hanging in the room like a well-sharpened sword and silence settled in as suddenly as the smoke of a lethal fire seeping into a room and slowly suffocating its unaware inhabitants. It took Chanyeol a second to realize those words had fallen from his own mouth and he shouldn’t have done that, it would seem too suspicious and it wouldn’t make sense but he _couldn’t_ stop himself. It was hard to sit there and listen to those words, calculated plans and ways to get rid of Baekhyun. He couldn’t. He couldn’t bear the mere thought of it happening. It didn’t make sense for Baekhyun to ever die, especially not in the hands of people Chanyeol had grown up with. Baekhyun, fragile, sweet, addicting Baekhyun whom he had sworn to protect with his life in the past. How could he allow that to happen? How could he allow anyone to speak this way about him? Each uttered word fueled the fire ignited by anger deep inside of him and right at that moment, he couldn’t even think about the fact that he was opposing Junmyeon. He only managed to register the fact that the latter was set on doing anything to kill Baekhyun and Chanyeol was having a hard time staying still at that moment, when the inexplicable urge to protect Baekhyun was nudging Chanyeol’s temper, threatening to snap his patience into two at anytime.

 

"What did you say?" Junmyeon finally said after long seconds during which Chanyeol felt everyone’s gaze on him.

 

"I asked if you were sure Light was the one who killed that guy. How is Cobra so sure that he’s the one who did it?" he repeated through clenched teeth, feeling every single inch of his body gradually tensing up even more.

 

He heard Jongin whisper his name in warning but didn’t pay attention to it, keeping his heated gaze on Junmyeon whose features suddenly formed a curtain of steel that Chanyeol was sure was hiding any and every kind of deadly weapon. He hated being interrupted or questioned when giving orders. But it didn’t matter, Chanyeol couldn’t bear the images of Baekhyun writhing in a pool of his own blood that flashed in his mind.

 

"Are you questioning me right now, Chanyeol?" the elder asked and his voice was calm, flowing out of his mouth in a  steady wave but it was cold, as cold as the blade of the sword Chanyeol’s first words had acted as.

 

He didn’t care, he couldn’t, he could only think about Baekhyun and the urge to protect him that blossomed in every inch of his soul and the feeling of not being able to do anything to actually act upon that urge. Why? Why did they all want to get rid of Baekhyun that much? Why? Baekhyun’s warnings echoed in his head.

 

"I’m just saying. You seem so ready to destroy Light but why? Are you really sure about it? You’re not the kind to be so involved in other gangs’ or the mafia’s problems," he settled on saying, doing his best to tone down his words. 

 

"You’re implying that the information I got from Cobra is wrong," the elder said and Chanyeol could see it in his eyes, the flame of anger that was starting to grow bigger than it had ever been when Junmyeon looked at Chanyeol.

 

"I just asked you a question, boss. Why are you getting so worked up over it?" he shot back, Baekhyun’s words echoing in his head, his smile shining behind Chanyeol’s eyelids each time he blinked. The smile of a naive child. He blinked again. The smile of an assassin who never lost against Chanyeol. 

 

A loud thump resonated in the room, shattering the silence as Chanyeol’s gaze dived down to land on the fist that Junmyeon had slammed against his desk. He clenched his teeth.

 

"Watch your words when you’re talking with me. I’m not just anyone, I’m not Jongin or Jongdae. I’m not your friend, I’m your boss and the man who kept you alive until now."

 

Chanyeol held back a snort from escaping his lips as soon as he heard those words. Why did Junmyeon always had to remind him of that fact each time a small argument was starting? Why did he want to get rid of Baekhyun so much?

 

"I am not disrespecting you, boss. I’m simply asking for further information on a mission I am supposed to accomplish and I don’t see why you’re refusing to reply to my questions," he replied, ignoring the urge to apologize when he saw the way Junmyeon’s anger turned into disappointment. It had been a while since that gaze had been directed at him. The last time it had happened was because of an argument concerning Baekhyun too. It was always about Baekhyun and Chanyeol felt breathless at the thought of things not being about Baekhyun anymore if the latter was taken away from him.

 

"Cobra is sure that Light is behind it, they’re not just a small gang that spreads rumors to create trouble. If they say Light killed their man then it is true and I know they have reasons for thinking that way," Junmyeon said calmly but Chanyeol could see the rapid clenching and unclenching of his jaw and his frown that had not dissipated yet. He leaned down over his desk a bit and continued. "You, as an assassin who works under me, have no right to question the information given to you. Remember that, Chanyeol. Even if they were not sure about it, what does it have to do with you?"

 

That was a good question, one Junmyeon had every right of asking after the way Chanyeol just spoke to him but somehow it spiked him further. Why would Junmyeon need to know that? It was something only between Baekhyun and him and Chanyeol had no obligation to reply, just like Junmyeon refused to give an actual answer to his own question. 

 

"Why though? Why would Light do such a thing? It doesn’t make sense, what’s the relation between Cobra and him?" Chanyeol continued asking because he needed to know, he wanted to know, and Junmyeon refused to answer.

 

He only got angrier with each question that left Chanyeol’s lips, body tensing up, hand tightening around the pen that he had grabbed a few seconds ago. Chanyeol knew it was a habit of his because he liked having everything in the palm of his hand, under control. At that moment, for the first time ever, Chanyeol found himself hating that side of Junmyeon.

 

"Chanyeol," he heard, Minseok’s voice coming as a warning from somewhere near the window. He didn’t know because he couldn’t look away from Junmyeon’s eyes, as if hypnotized by the flames of anger and disappointment that he could see dancing in the man’s dark orbs. The same fire had taken a pit inside of him and its dark and heavy smoke kept pushing thoughts out of his mouth.

 

"What?" he snapped.

 

"I didn’t remember you being so curious when we were having some trouble with Light. You didn’t ask so many questions when he kept stealing your targets," Junmyeon replied to him instead.

 

Chanyeol immediately shut up, not finding anything to reply to the elder. Had he gone too far? Did he give himself away? Panic suddenly took over him, as cold as Junmyeon’s words, but it was blown away when he noticed the look on Junmyeon’s face, the same victorious look he gave to an enemy when confronting him after winning a war that spilled too much blood. Did he see Chanyeol as an enemy at that moment? Just because he had asked for more information? 

 

"Don’t we have the right to ask for more information before killing a target? Can’t we try understanding the reason why we’re asked to take someone’s life?" he spat out, words as sharp as an arrow that seemed to pierce through the iron wall that Junmyeon had built around himself. The latter simply fired as a reply, words hitting Chanyeol as unexpectedly as a bulled fired by an ally who had been standing behind you all this time.

 

"You’re an assassin. Your job is to kill a determined target. You don’t need to have any information on why you’re doing it, you only have to shut up and do your job properly without fucking anything up. You simply have to pull the trigger when asked to. That’s why you’re here right now and you have no right to exceed the limits of your duty." 

 

Deep down, Chanyeol knew those words were right. That was what he was, an assassin whose only job was to kill when asked to and that was the way things had been for years, ever since Junmyeon had taught him how to properly aim and pull the trigger. However, hearing those words coming from the man who held such an important spot in his life only turned them into an insult. Was that all he was for Junmyeon? A simple assassin at his commands? After everything he had done for Junmyeon, after all the years they had spent together, was that what Junmyeon thought of him? As soon as Chanyeol even showed a small sign of disagreement with him concerning this issue, Junmyeon preferred reminding Chanyeol that he was nothing but an assassin that worked for him. That had never happened before and Chanyeol didn’t like it. Maybe he had gone too far but that didn’t mean Junmyeon had the right to act this way with him.

 

He felt wronged, so disappointed, in himself for not being able to stay neutral in this situation, in Junmyeon for not tolerating a single mistake, and in everyone else in the room for not even trying to defend him. They all just watched, Minseok with his cold eyes, Jongdae with an interested look on his face, and Jongin with confusion and almost panicked glances between Junmyeon and him. 

 

It was too much to bear and he couldn’t withstand remaining there, at the receiving end of an  angry and disappointed look coming from Junmyeon. He had the urge to get up and run away from here, from Junmyeon’s expectations, from everyone’s confused looks, from his own questions. That was the only urge he could act on at that moment and he did it the next second. Acting on instincts, he stood up, long legs carrying him towards the door that he slammed shut after getting out of the suffocating room, leaving without a single glance behind him. 

 

For the first time ever, he didn’t feel the urge to go back on his steps and apologize as soon as he realized what he had done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It only took him half an hour of wandering around in dark streets for things to finally dawn upon him and when he realized that he had just gotten in what could possibly be his worse fight with Junmyeon, dread and panic settled in the pit of Chanyeol’s stomach. Even through the flames of anger that stil licked up his mind, the knowledge that he had just opposed to Junmyeon and had possibly given his situation with Baekhyun away was enough for a heavy weight to settle on Chanyeol’s chest, making it harder to breath with each passing second. 

 

He had never acted that way with Junmyeon, he had never questioned him this way, only taking in the information and pulling the trigger in the most efficient way possible to get rid of a target and then get rewarded with the proud smile that Junmyeon always gave him each time he reported on his success. Junmyeon had also never gotten so angry and maybe that was what fueled Chanyeol not to carefully choose his words before throwing them at the leader’s face. Or maybe it was only because of the way Baekhyun’s last words about Junmyeon kept echoing in his head throughout the day. He had spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the assassin had meant by those warnings and maybe it had finally managed to get into his mind and unconsciously pushed him to question the man he owed his life to. It could also simply be because it had been about Baekhyun and he always acted so weirdly when it was about him, he hadn’t been able to stay silent and witness the making of different plans to catch the assassin and get rid of him. 

 

Chanyeol didn’t know, he was once again confused and he wasn’t even angry about his confusion anymore, he was just deeply exhausted and he simply needed to understand things, his own feelings, Baekhyun’s intentions, Junmyeon’s behavior. However, nothing ever worked in his favor and he knew he wouldn’t understand anything if no one wanted to give him answers. He didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t want to remember the disappointed look Junmyeon had given him right before he had stormed out of his office. He just needed some calm, anything but silence, he needed something that would drown out all the questions in his head and make him unable to even form coherent thoughts. 

 

It had almost been natural to reach for his phone as soon as those thoughts went through his head and a glance at the black and white braids around his wrist was enough to give him the will to unlock his phone and type a message to the only person who’d ever be able to get rid of the thoughts in Chanyeol’s head. He used to hate the way he couldn’t properly think whenever Baekhyun was even breathing the same air as him but he came to understand that that was exactly what he needed sometimes. Even if Baekhyun only made the questions in his head multiply, he also managed to act as the wind that blew his thoughts away, somehow managing to turn all those questions and his confusion into weak, reddened, and bruised leaves that always seemed so easy to get rid of in Baekhyun’s presence.

 

As if Baekhyun had been able to sense one of Chanyeol’s most pathetic moments, a reply to his message came less than two minutes later and already, Chanyeol could feel some of the weight that had been heaving down on his shoulders lightening, the wind taking some of the burden away. At that moment, it didn’t even matter that Baekhyun had not replied to any of his messages in the past two days, Chanyeol didn’t care and was simply relieved to confirm the other assassin’s well-being. He read over Baekhyun’s message a few times and was not surprised to find that it contained a location, nothing else. Not that anything else was needed, that was enough for Chanyeol to immediately head towards the place Baekhyun was waiting for him at.

 

It wasn’t too far from when he already was and it took him less than twenty minutes to reach it since Jongin had given him a ride to Junmyeon’s place and he had left without him, therefore without any means of transportation. He was surprised when he realized that he was heading towards a park that was located in one of Seoul’s disadvantaged areas and he wondered why Baekhyun had asked him to meet in a public place when they had never done that before and especially when he was basically supposed to be hiding from dozens of people who wanted him dead but one look at the park once he arrived was enough to understand. 

 

It somehow looked abandoned and it was still the middle of the day, the sun was high in the sky and yet the place looked rather dark, maybe because of the bare trees that surrounded the small playground that looked as if no one had played on it for years. It was basically empty, weeds were decorating the path that led to the playground, climbing up the dark brown benches that had seemingly suffered harsh winters and numerous storms judging by the broken wood of the seats. There was no one and nothing much either, Chanyeol supposed that there had been various things  at some point, he could discern the trace of a slide right in the middle fo the playground, the screws that had maintained it on the ground still buried there despite the absence of the slide, and a seesaw that almost looked stuck to the ground, as if no weight could lift that one side up anymore. The only other thing remaining there was a lone swing that probably used to fit two people since only one seat was left hanging from the green handle, its left side empty after the swing had probably been stolen or broken. It was definitely too gloomy to be used by anyone and that was probably why Baekhyun had chosen this place to meet.

 

After a quick inspection of the place, Chanyeol’s eyes wandered around, searching for the person who had called him there in the first place. He walked deeper into the park since he had only been standing at the entrance until now, just right in front of the rusty gates, and it didn’t take long for him to locate Baekhyun’s small form a few feet away from him, next to a crumbled bench, back turned to Chanyeol. The latter felt his lips curve up into a small smile and relief flooded into his body, gently taming the fire that had been ignited in his guts two days ago and that had only kept growing stronger and wilder until now. Baekhyun was okay. Chanyeol couldn’t see him properly and only had a view of his back but he was standing straight, as confident as he had always been, and he didn’t seem to be hurt either. He seemed to be talking on the phone, the device held against his ear but Chanyeol couldn’t care at the moment, he needed to see the mysteriously enchanting smile that always stirred something deep inside of him and he didn’t waste another second before letting his long legs take him towards Baekhyun. 

 

The latter seemed unaware of his presence and Chanyeol didn’t feel the need to change that either, it felt almost nice to be the one about to surprise Baekhyun this time and he quietly advanced towards him, making sure that his footsteps were muffled enough so that even he could barely hear them. 

 

However, it seemed that Baekhyun was way too immersed into his phone call to pay attention to his surroundings, his seemingly irritated voice becoming cleared in Chanyeol’s ears the closer he got to the other.

 

"I know it’s dangerous," Baekhyun hissed into the device and Chanyeol stopped moving, standing a few feet away from him to listen to the intriguing conversation. "I’m not doing anything bad and you know it," he continued after sighing, voice hushed but not enough.

 

The assassin knew it was wrong to basically seek behind Baekhyun and listen to his private conversation like this but he couldn’t help it, even if he couldn’t really understand what Baekhyun was talking about. The main thing that confused him was who the other was talking to since in all the time he had known Baekhyun, he had always thought the latter was alone, working alone and not needing anyone’s help. However, it sounded like he was trying to convince someone of something and he was talking about danger. Was it about Cobra? Who would he have to reassure?

 

"Everything’s going according to the plan and I don’t think he noticed yet, we would have known," Baekhyun continued.

 

The plan? What plan was he talking about? It didn’t make sense and Chanyeol didn’t need any more questions after the argument he just had had with Junmyeon.

 

As if hearing his thoughts, Baekhyun suddenly turned around to face Chanyeol and the latter didn’t catch the way his eyes widened with surprise for a second before the expression was wiped away when Baekhyun got a hold of himself.

 

"I’m hanging up now," he said into the receiver before hanging up and slipping his phone into the pocket of his jacket. 

 

"Who was that?" Chanyeol asked as soon as Baekhyun looked at him, stepping forward to stand closer to him.

 

However, his voice didn’t hold any ounce of suspicion or anger, he was way too busy looking at Baekhyun to even pay any importance to that odd phone conversation. It had been only two days since he had last seen Baekhyun and yet, it felt like those two days had held eternities Chanyeol didn’t ever want to taste again. Nothing had changed about the shorter, his hair was still too long, it still look really soft as it fell across his forehead, his eyes were still sparkling and breathtaking as he looked up at Chanyeol. He still had the same genuine but confident and slightly playful smile, all those different colors painting a beautiful picture on the curve of Baekhyun’s lips. He was beautiful and Chanyeol had missed him so much.

 

"No one important enough for you to wonder," he replied, gaze trailing over Chanyeol’s features and maybe he had missed Chanyeol as much as the latter had missed him.

 

Maybe Chanyeol should also push more and ask his question again because what he heard should have definitely been suspicious when thinking about the whole context of their meeting but the only thing he could think about as he looked at Baekhyun’s joyful smile was that he was _tired_ and he didn’t want to think about anything anymore. Would taking Baekhyun into his arms make everything better? He wasn’t sure but he knew that that was what he craved the most right now. However, too many things were holding him back and among all of them, the main thing that kept him in place was the fact that he didn’t know if Baekhyun wanted to be hugged by him, he didn’t know what they were, what he wanted them to be. Baekhyun was a childhood friend but was it the only thing Chanyeol saw him as?

 

However, it seemed that Baekhyun didn’t pay as much importance to questions as Chanyeol did and the next thing the latter felt was a smaller body pressing against his, arms wrapping around him before soft strands of black hair tickled his neck as Baekhyun burrowed his face there. He felt his whole body relax and his arms wrapped around the shorter as well, squeezing him to make sure Baekhyun was really there, in his arms, in the middle of an abandoned and gloomy park. They always met at the oddest places but it didn’t matter. Chanyeol felt like, at this point, he could go anywhere as long as Baekhyun would wait for him there.

 

"You look stressed out, Chanyeol-ah."

 

Those words were whispered against his skin and Chanyeol couldn’t help but shiver. "You haven’t returned my calls these past two days."

 

"I guess I’m a busy person," he felt Baekhyun shrug against him.

 

"You don’t seem busy enough to wander around abandoned parks."

 

"Are you sulking because I haven’t given you any attention for two days?" Baekhyun asked and Chanyeol recognized the amusement in his tone. When he looked down, the same amusement had seeped into Baekhyun’s eyes as he looked up at Chanyeol, sparkling in his dark orbs.

 

"I just thought someone finally managed to kill you," Chanyeol simply snorted, not finding it in himself to simply say that he had been worried. 

 

"It’s so cute of you to worry about me but don’t, I’m not tired of living yet," Baekhyun chuckled softly before pulling away from Chanyeol’s embrace. Immediately, the latter felt the cold wind replace Baekhyun’s warmth and he almost gave in to the urge to pull Baekhyun into his arms again but the shorter stepped back. "Why did you want to see me?"

 

There was so many possible answers to that question. Chanyeol had sought Baekhyun because he still had so many questions to ask, because it had been too long since he had one of those unsatisfying conversations with him, because he simply missed him.

 

"I wouldn’t trust that thing if I were you," he simply said, following Baekhyun who had settled on the lone and worryingly fragile-looking swing.

 

"I’m not gonna die if I fall from this, Chanyeol. I’m not a fragile doll," Baekhyun sighed, smiling as if he had said those words a hundred times in the past and maybe he had.

 

It was at exact moment that Chanyeol realized that Baekhyun was right. He was not a fragile doll, he was not a weak victim that needed protection. He was someone who could easily come out of a fight with hardly any scratch, he was someone who had not hesitated to shove a dagger into Chanyeol’s guts when the latter had pointed a gun at him. Baekhyun didn’t need to be protected so why did Chanyeol feel so protective of him? That was the sole reason why he had argued with Junmyeon earlier, because he had felt as if his duty was to make sure that nothing would happen to Baekhyun and that argument had been a weak way for him to prevent anything to happen.

 

However, he couldn’t do anything about it. Habits from the past still lingered, even if he didn’t exactly remember having those habits. That was only confirmed when he looked at Baekhyun and met his gaze. The shorter was completely silent, sitting on that rusty swing, long fingers wrapped around the chain that hung from the green bar above them. He wasn’t doing anything, he wasn’t even actually swinging, he was simply looking at Chanyeol calmly, waiting for something that Chanyeol wasn’t even aware of until words naturally slipped through his lips. As if pouring anything that bothered him into Baekhyun was yet another natural habit.

 

"I had a fight with Junmyeon hyung… Well, an argument."

 

Somehow those words were already enough to take off some of the burden on his shoulders and Chanyeol leaned his back against the vertical bar of the swing, on the side where the twin of the swing Baekhyun was sitting on was missing. His words didn’t provoke any kind of change in Baekhyun’s features, as if he wasn’t surprised.

 

"That seems to bother you a lot, you look upset," he commented.

 

"It does. It’s just that I never really fight with him, I never did. At least it had never been as bad as what happened earlier," he sighed, bringing a hand up to run it over his face.

 

"That must feel bad," Baekhyun merely said, as if it didn’t bother him that much which was probably the case, he never liked Junmyeon anyway. "What was the fight about?"

 

"You."

 

That seemed to spike Baekhyun’s interest, his eyebrows furrowed a bit. "Me?"

 

"We were discussing the issue about Cobra with all the others in his office and he told us that we were supposed to collaborate with Cobra to find you and get rid of you. They want revenge and since we were already supposed to kill you, the boss simply chose to ally forces with Cobra," he explained, feeling a wave of distaste lurch inside of him at the mere memory of the way everyone had talked about Baekhyun. He had hated it.

 

"I feel so important right now, I can’t believe the two most feared crime groups of the country are after me. I must be kind of a big deal," Baekhyun chuckled and he seemed to be genuinely amused by it. The thought didn’t even bother him when Chanyeol still felt it eating his insides.

 

"It’s not funny, Baekhyun. I’m supposed to kill you, just like hundreds of people are supposed to right now," Chanyeol frowned, unable to wrap his head around Baekhyun’s reaction right now. Wasn’t he scared? Didn’t he regret killing of Cobra’s men?

 

"True, you’re supposed to kill me now," the shorter hummed, tilting his head as he looked at Chanyeol with gravity for a second. It didn’t take long for a corner of his lips to tug up into a mischievous smile that oddly made Chanyeol’s chest tighten. He was so beautiful and Chanyeol didn’t know how he could ever get over the urge to protect him. "Should I kiss you to make sure you’re too busy to call your friends and tell them the target is in your hands?"

 

This was no laughing matter, Chanyeol was aware of the gravity of the situation they were in. Here he was, hanging around in an abandoned park with the person who was the reason behind an argument he never wanted to have with Junmyeon, someone he was supposed to kill, someone who was in danger of being killed by one of the people Chanyeol had grown up with and was able to call ‘brothers’ now. And yet, Chanyeol knew there was nowhere he’d rather be right now because no one made him feel the things Baekhyun did. He didn’t know what it was exactly but it felt just so right to be here, even if his head screamed at him that it was the wrongest thing Chanyeol had ever done. It was almost ridiculous.

 

It didn’t matter at the moment, nothing else but the symphony of Baekhyun’s laughter mattered, the latter letting that beautiful song that caressed Chanyeol’s heart slip out of his lips when the taller remained silent at his question. For that moment, nothing mattered.

 

"Silence means agreement but if you want a kiss, you should be able to ask for it. Or take it on your own," Baekhyun’s alluring and soothing voice was carried to Chanyeol by the soft breeze that danced between them.

 

"You look like a kid on that swing, I don’t really feel like kissing you right now."

 

"I guess you’re just staring at my lips because you have nothing else interesting enough to look at in this whole wide park then." 

 

Not finding anything to reply to that, Chanyeol simply laughed, freely, comfortably, his laughter twirling around Baekhyun’s own sound of joy, gaze never leaving the shorter’s crescent shaped eyes as if he were a newborn baby that was granted the sight of the beautiful silver moon for the first time ever, trying to understand how its silver light was able to illuminate the darkness surrounding it.

 

However, their laughter soon died down and Chanyeol wanted answers.

 

"Why did you kill Cobra’s man? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?" he asked, frowning down as he looked at Baekhyun.

 

"What do you know about Cobra?" Baekhyun asked instead of replying.

 

"That they’re the biggest crime group of the country, that they have many branches including drugs, human trafficking, and arms trafficking. I think they went through a leader change once years ago. We’ve been allies with them for a year now," Chanyeol explained, remembering what Jongin had told him what seemed like ages ago. "I also know that you have to be stupid to attack them, especially the head of their drug branch."

 

"Come on, Chanyeol," Baekhyun rolled his eyes. "Forbidden things feel the best, I’m sure you know that very well." His smile was suggestive enough for the taller to know what he meant.

 

"So you killed him because no one is supposed to do that?" Chanyeol snorted.

 

"Of course not, that would be very shallow of me. It was just a request, someone hired me to kill him and I’m not picky about my ways of getting money," Baekhyun shrugged as if it was not a big deal. "He was the head of an important branch and he’s been in that spot for a very long time, I’m sure he made a few enemies along the years."

 

"Baekhyun, didn’t you even hesitate before getting involved in this?" he questioned the other because really, he didn’t understand him.

 

"Nope. I have no reason to fear anyone and I’m just a bullet in a gun someone pulled the trigger of. That’s what assassins are."

 

"Who would even be brave enough to pull that trigger?" he raised a brow.

 

"It would be a breach of professional secrecy if I told you that," Baekhyun chuckled quietly.

 

"Was it even worth getting into so much trouble now?" Chanyeol asked, feeling a spark of anger snap somewhere in him. Didn’t Baekhyun realize how dangerous it was? 

 

"Money is worth everything for a lot of people. Some go as far as killing their brother for money, what’s wrong with me killing a guy who’s probably an asshole that caused the death through overdose of many children in this city?" Baekhyun fired back and no trace of amusement or mischief remained on his features as he spat those words out. 

 

His façade was broken for the first time and Chanyeol knew that he had gone too far but it was unnerving to see Baekhyun talk about this so casually when Chanyeol had lost nights of sleep because of the same issue. 

 

However, he was tired and he certainly didn’t come here to start a fight with Baekhyun so he simply sighed and moved to stand in front of the other. Baekhyun didn’t move from the swing and Chanyeol hovered over him that way, standing on his full height. Their gaze met and he tried not to forget what he wanted to say.

 

"Look," he started after a few seconds, when Baekhyun seemed a tad bit calmer. "I just want you to be careful, alright? It’s dangerous, too many people are after you at the moment. Hell, even I am supposed to track you and I just don’t want anything to happen to you."

 

"Worried about me?" Baekhyun asked, his usual amused smile back on his lips.

 

"I just know that I took too many beatings for you when we were kids and it would all got to waste if you were to be killed so soon," he snorted, only half joking.

 

He expected Baekhyun to laugh or reply with something that would shut him up but he was simply granted with a small smile that shone with genuineness and emotion, the rare and beautiful sight as hard to find as it was to catch the exact moment a flower blossomed and showed its beautiful petals to the world.

 

"I’ll be careful," Baekhyun whispered, gaze soft as it locked into Chanyeol’s. "Don’t worry about me, Chanyeol-ah."

 

"I guess it’s a habit," the taller chuckled softly, watching as Baekhyun bit his lower lip, surprisingly giving Chanyeol an uncertain look.

 

"You’re the one who should be careful though, not me. I’m not sure your boss would appreciate it if he found out you were spending so much time with someone you’re supposed to kill," he said softly.

 

"He wouldn’t," Chanyeol confirmed.

 

"Aren’t you going to report me to him?" 

 

At this point, it was almost stupid of Baekhyun to ask such a question and yet, Chanyeol couldn’t find anything to say when he saw the hesitation in Baekhyun’s eyes. Had he been thinking about this question for a long time? Was it why he had avoided Chanyeol after killing that guy? If Chanyeol’s calculations were right, Baekhyun had probably done it before finding Chanyeol in that warehouse that day and helping him in that fight. They had argued about Junmyeon right after that and it was natural for Baekhyun to doubt Chanyeol after the latter had defended Junmyeon like that. He hated himself a little bit for causing Baekhyun to think that way.

 

"I probably should," he sighed, hand reaching to cup Baekhyun’s cheek. The latter leaned into his touch so naturally that Chanyeol almost felt as if someone pinched his heart. "I should but I don’t want to. I won’t, you should know that."

 

That seemed to be enough to swipe Baekhyun’s insecurities away and he smiled brightly at Chanyeol, the next words that fell off his lips sounding lighter.

 

"We should just have fun then. I just found you and we don’t really spend too much time together. We should enjoy it as much as we can."

 

"What would you like to do?" Chanyeol chuckled, mood lifted up by the other’s smile.

 

"Push me," Baekhyun grinned, moving his hands to rattle the chains of the swing he was still holding onto.

 

Chanyeol snorted. "Are you a kid?"

 

"Call me a kid one more time and I’ll show you how I play with my very dangerous toys," Baekhyun playfully threatened him.

 

The taller laughed softly before giving in because he was aware that he wouldn’t be able to say no to anything Baekhyun said now. It was scary, disconcerting, and something that he should definitely not allow but he just wanted to enjoy his time with Baekhyun. Therefore, it took him only a second to move so he could stand behind Baekhyun, finding himself in yet another ridiculous situation as he pressed the flat of his palms against Baekhyun’s back, pushing until the shorter swung forward.

 

It was ridiculous but Chanyeol didn’t stop, pushing on Baekhyun’s back until the latter swung high with the help of his own legs. The swing was rattling, squeaking, the chains rusty from years of disuse and it could be dangerous, they could give out and Baekhyun might fall but the latter didn’t seem to mind at all. He simply laughed happily, the sound childlike and as pure as crystal beads, always asking Chanyeol to push harder, reaching higher and higher in the sky. Chanyeol laughed as well, he couldn’t see Baekhyun’s expression that much and he was still worried about Baekhyun’s possible fall but he tried not to care too much, he simply enjoyed the moment.

 

"Stand in front of me, Chanyeol!" Baekhyun asked after a full minute, when he didn’t need Chanyeol’s help to swing anymore.

 

The latter did as told, supposing that Baekhyun was simply scared he’d hit him since he couldn’t see what was happening behind him. Moreover, standing in front of Baekhyun, far enough so that he wouldn't accidentally get hit, allowed him to actually see the other’s expression this time and Chanyeol thought that it would be worth getting accidentally injured. A wide smile was curved on Baekhyun’s lips, so pure, happier than Chanyeol had ever seen it look, and he was obviously having a lot of fun. It was odd, it didn’t really fit his image as an assassin and yet, Chanyeol wouldn’t even think that it was misplaced because being happy suited Baekhyun too much for him to say anything about it. The mere sight of the pure happiness shimmering on Baekhyun’s features, sparkling in his crescent shaped eyes, was enough for Chanyeol to completely forget all the dark thoughts that had been hogging his mind when he had first stepped into the park.

 

Instead, only one thought remained. Baekhyun was beautiful, really beautiful, and he liked hearing him laugh. Chanyeol liked seeing him smile. He liked spending time with him. Baekhyun was so dazzling and Chanyeol liked him. He liked him _a lot._ No matter what that exactly meant.

 

"Catch me!" he then heard Baekhyun say and his eyes widened as he was snapped away from his soft cocoon of happiness and his thoughts.

 

"What?!" he let out, confused as he saw that Baekhyun was still swinging high but not as high as earlier, he had slowed down a little.

 

However, that request still didn’t make sense and before Chanyeol could even protest Baekhyun suddenly let go of the chains and swung himself forward, his laughter echoing in the empty park. Immediately Chanyeol moved and the next thing he felt was a heavy weight crashing onto him before his back met the ground, small rocks prickling his skin through his clothes as a groan of pain escaped his lips.

 

It was followed by the sound of laughter and he felt Baekhyun’s body shake against his as the latter nuzzled against his chest and continued laughing, letting out a small groan of what was probably pain once in a while. And it was ridiculous that Chanyeol couldn’t help it, he burst into laughter as well, trying to ignore the pain in his back and legs as he tightened his hold around Baekhyun. Anyone who’d catch a glimpse of them at that moment would think that they were two small children trying to make the best out of life and carelessly having fun in the simplest way possible, not even minding about what the outer world would think about them. 

 

"What the hell, Baekhyun? You could have gotten injured, or I could have gotten injured. I probably am since my back hurts like hell," he groaned once he was done laughing, his stomach in pain too now that he had laughed for so long.

 

Baekhyun simply rested his forearms on Chanyeol’s chest and looked at him with a wide grin, eyes glistening with tears that had formed from excessive laughter. "Stop whining. I never obligated you to catch me, you did it on your own."

 

"Well, I couldn’t let you crash on the ground like that!" 

 

"You could have, you just chose not to," Baekhyun laughed softly, shaking his head before coming down and looking at Chanyeol with a lingering smile. 

 

"That doesn’t mean you should be proud of yourself. I feel like you were just trying to hurt me on purpose," he narrowed his eyes, playful.

 

"Maybe it was just a way to get back at you for upsetting me two days ago," Baekhyun simply raised a brow, playful. However, Chanyeol knew he wasn’t exactly joking. "We used to do this a lot when we were kids," he then added, more softly.

 

Somehow, that was enough for Chanyeol to forget the pain. "Really?"

 

"Yeah, you always caught me each time I did that. At first I never asked you to catch me, you did it on your own because you were scared I’d get hurt and you always said that at least the pain would be shared between us this way. I just got used to it after a while," he chuckled lightly, shaking his head as if recalling silly memories of that time.

 

Chanyeol would do anything to be able to recall them as well.

 

"That’s a pretty stupid way of playing," he forced a chuckle out, chest tightening.

 

"We were pretty stupid at that time," Baekhyun mumbled, hand cupping Chanyeol’s cheek. "But it was great. Those times."

 

His voice trembled a bit on his last word and Chanyeol’s arms tightened around him, pulling him closer until Baekhyun’s nose bumped against his. He didn’t know if that had been sadness, joy, or sorrow, but he didn’t like it. 

 

"I’m glad one of us remembers everything," he whispered, gaze drowning in the memories playing in Baekhyun’s eyes. However, he couldn’t see them, he could only feel it through the way Baekhyun was looking at him, with affection, a bit of sadness, a lot of happiness, and relief. 

 

"I am too. And I’m really glad I managed to find you in the end," Baekhyun replied, closing his eyes for a bit as if to get a hold of himself before opening them again and smiling, the curve of his lips brushing against Chanyeol’s.

 

Then, a question formed in Chanyeol’s mind, falling off his lips.

 

"Am I different from how I used to be?"

 

Silence was Baekhyun’s first reply, his gaze trailing over Chanyeol’s features as if evaluating everything that his reply should contain.

 

"A bit," he said and Chanyeol didn’t know if that was a good thing or not before he continued speaking. "You’re taller, really taller. I used to be slightly taller than you but now, I barely reach your shoulders. You’re also more handsome, you’ve always been handsome but… It’s different now, you’ve grown up," he chuckled softly, thumb brushing over the apple of Chanyeol’s cheek. He felt emotion flow from Baekhyun’s voice before pooling in his own chest. "You’re still the same though. You have the same smile, when you’re with me at least. You still worry about everything too much, you still like to spend your time alone when I’m not there, you still give in to everything I say until it gets way too unfair for you. There are some different things of course, the way you’re not so shy anymore, the way you’re way better at fighting and many other things. However, you still look at me the same way and that’s all that matters."

 

Somehow, it felt as if Chanyeol was listening to Baekhyun talking about someone else. It was just too odd to hear himself being described by Baekhyun who had known him for such a long time and who knew things about Chanyeol that the latter didn’t even know about himself. It suddenly seemed so unfair, way too unfair for Chanyeol to deal with it. However, the genuine smile Baekhyun was giving him made things a bit more bearable.

 

"I’m glad then, I’m glad you’re not disappointed," was the only thing Chanyeol could say.

 

"I’m not," Baekhyun shook his head. "I’m just sorry I wasn’t there to witness all these changes."

 

Those might have been the words that had sounded the most heartfelt coming from Baekhyun and Chanyeol gave him a smile that held anything but happiness. He felt sorry too, for himself, for Baekhyun.

 

"You could be there starting from now on."

 

"I will be," Baekhyun smiled, as if those words had been the only thing he had yearned to hear until now.

 

The passionate kiss that the shorter gave Chanyeol right after muttering those words was enough for the latter to promise himself to do anything for Baekhyun to be there, with him, starting from now on and for as long as possible. He sealed that promise with a swipe of his tongue, marking it on the delicious texture of Baekhyun’s lips as he felt his body, mind, and soul completely giving in to the odd feeling that Baekhyun always ignited in him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It would be difficult to keep that promise with everything that was happening and that was bound to happen in a near future but somehow, the time spent with Baekhyun in an empty, abandoned park, recalling a forgotten childhood and finding back a pure happiness that had been somehow snatched away from him was enough for Chanyeol to take what he hoped to be the right decisions.

 

A few hours later, he acted on those decisions as well, intending to do everything in his power to ensure that the promise sealed with Baekhyun would be kept. Because he needed Baekhyun to be there with him starting from now on and not even because Chanyeol needed answers. He wasn’t going to hide behind excuses and silly justifications anymore, he just wanted to hide somewhere with Baekhyun and drown in the comforting happiness the latter made him feel while giving in to the habits of a forgotten past.

 

However, that wasn’t possible at the moment, not until Chanyeol knew what he was getting himself into, not until he would make sure of certain things. Therefore, he didn’t even try stopping himself when a few hours later, his feet took him to the only person he could trust to give him the real answers that he wanted, someone who probably knew much more than anyone else did. The road to his best friend’s house had never felt so long and yet so short at the same time, climbing the long flights of stairs to gather his thoughts instead of taking the elevator had never seemed like a better idea, knocking on the door had never asked for so much courage, and settling on Jongin’s couch under the latter’s confused gaze had never been so difficult.

 

The question that he was there to ask had never come to his mind before all of this either and yet, this time, Chanyeol didn’t try blocking it, he didn’t give it another thought, he didn’t convince himself of not giving in to _that_ thought, he simply let it fall off his lips and onto Jongin’s ears.

 

"What do you know about Junmyeon?"


	12. Chapter Twelve

"What do you mean?"

 

Those were the words pronounced by Jongin after two long seconds of silence and each sound that left his lips carried a lilt of confusion that twirled in the air between them. Chanyeol took a deep breath, averting his gaze and planting it on his hands instead, choosing to watch his fingers fumble with each other in nervousness instead of seeing the mix of surprise and confusion on his best friend’s face. Chanyeol had always been able to keep calm in the most twisted of situations and that might have changed ever since Baekhyun had entered his life but he had never felt as uncomfortable as he did right now. He could feel his temples throbbing with the furious beating of his heart and he was starting to regret ever coming here and asking that question to Jongin. What was he supposed to say now? How was he supposed to explain it to him? Was this even the right thing to do? 

 

He had never done such a thing, he had never imagined coming to the point of asking Jongin for information on Junmyeon and yet, here he was, almost shaking as he did so. He didn’t know why he was reacting this way, maybe it was because of the way he had to fight with himself to stay there instead of fleeing and going to Junmyeon to apologize immediately for his wrongdoings, maybe it was simply because he was scared of what he might hear now.

 

"Chanyeol?" Jongin called out to him and finally, he looked at him again. "Are you okay?"

 

"Just reply to my question, Jongin," Chanyeol sighed.

 

"I don’t understand what you’re trying to ask though," Jongin chuckled but it was an empty, confused sound, as if he really couldn’t make any sense out of this whole situation. "We grew up together, with Junmyeon hyung. I know about him as much as you do. Is this about your fight with him this morning?"

 

"Yeah, it’s about that… argument," Chanyeol rectified, because he hated calling it a fight. He never fought with Junmyeon. Never. Until today, at least. He sighed. "Look, I just think he’s reacting too strongly to that Light issue when he doesn’t even have anything to do with Cobra."

 

"It’s his job, Chanyeol," Jongin frowned instantly. " _Our_ job. What are you trying to say?" he asked and Chanyeol knew Jongin was smart, he was maybe the smartest out of all of them and just by his tone of voice, he knew Jongin was already starting to figure out what Chanyeol actually was trying to say.

 

"I just have a bad feeling about this."

 

"About Light and the boss?" Jongin asked, narrowing his eyes as he tried grasping the situation. Chanyeol knew he wasn’t making it easy but it was really difficult to actually say whatever he thought about Junmyeon aloud.

 

And because he couldn’t say it aloud, Chanyeol simply nodded, his gaze meeting Jongin’s for a second in which silence settled over the room, drowning out all the words Chanyeol should say but couldn’t bring himself to. However, Jongin had grown up with him, they shared almost half of their life together, they had been through many injuries and many situations of crisis but they had always remained together, as brothers. Therefore, it wasn’t a surprise for Chanyeol to see the glint of understanding in his best friend’s eyes and maybe, just maybe, he could trust Jongin with this.

 

"You’ll have to explain yourself for me to understand you, Chanyeol," Jongin sighed after a while, running a hand through his hair as if he knew he really wasn’t going to like what Chanyeol was about to say and maybe he really did know. 

 

Chanyeol sighed too, leaning back against the comfortable couch and assessing Jongin for a second. He was the only one he could trust with whatever he was going to say.

 

"Promise to keep things between us and to never talk about it to anyone."

 

Jongin looked at him in silence for long seconds before nodding and shaking his head right after, slightly, with dread, like he used to do when they were younger and Chanyeol would always drag them into trouble, leading them to be scolded by Junmyeon at the end of the day.

 

"I promise."

 

Chanyeol hesitated only a little bit before letting his next words leave his lips and before he even realized it, he was telling Jongin everything, from Baekhyun’s first words to him on that rooftop the very first day he slipped into Chanyeol’s life to the way their time spent in that abandoned park had felt natural and like the best thing Chanyeol had ever done, without forgetting to explain his dreams, his memories, the way Chanyeol had remembered Baekhyun’s name, and his feelings about a man who could very much ruin Chanyeol’s life and who had maybe already started doing it. Everything had seemed like a dream or something equally as unreal until today, he had never shared any of it with anyone but telling everything to Jongin made it feel realer than ever and Chanyeol realized then that he wouldn’t be able to escape from the mess he had been dragged into. However, just the thought of being able to spend time with Baekhyun somehow made it all worth it.

 

However, Jongin’s reaction as Chanyeol spilled everything to him wasn’t really what he had expected. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, Jongin didn’t constantly cut him to tell him he was being stupid or anything of that sort but his expression had remained neutral throughout the whole story but a frown had made its way onto his face whenever Chanyeol would get on the way he was feeling about Baekhyun.

 

"How did you even manage to hide all of this from us and especially from the boss for so long?" were his first words and Chanyeol bit his lower lip. "You’ve basically been meeting with the enemy behind our back this whole time, Chanyeol," he continued, disapproval clear in his tone.

 

"He doesn’t feel like an enemy whenever we’re together, Jongin."

 

"Chanyeol, you don’t understand. You were supposed to kill this guy! The boss had ordered you to do it and now I can understand why you haven’t been able to do something that should have been really easy," Jongin shook his head disbelief. "And now we’re all supposed to kill him and Cobra wants to kill him too and you’re telling me that you have something going on with him?"

 

"He’s from my past, Jongin," Chanyeol frowned, his instincts forcing him to defend his situation with Baekhyun. "I forgot him and I need to remember him. That’s all he wants and that’s what I want as well, even if it seems stupid to you. It isn’t, to me."

 

Jongin shook his head. "This is wrong, Chanyeol. So wrong," he mumbled, running a hand over his face. Chanyeol knew he was genuinely worried but that wasn’t why he had talked to Jongin about it, he hadn't intended to make him feel worried. He only needed answers. "What if Junmyeon finds out about this?"

 

"He won’t. As long as you don’t tell him," Chanyeol replied, hoping that Jongin would understand the warning in his tone.

 

"You’re digging your own grave right now," the other sighed. "Alright, even if I try understanding all of this, and I really am trying, I still don’t see why you’d think that Junmyeon hyung is doing something behind your back. He’s only trying to protect you."

 

"Baekhyun keeps telling me to be careful and not to trust Junmyeon," Chanyeol shook his head, feeling bad even as he said those words but aware that they might be true.

 

"And you believe him?!" Jongin raised his voice a bit and Chanyeol knew all of this was a lot to take on for Jongin at once but he was ticked off by the way his _best friend_ doubted him.

 

"He said it so many times that I can’t help but think that he might be right-" Chanyeol tried defending himself, pleading Jongin to understand him with his gaze. However, the latter only cut him off.

 

"And you trust that guy instead of trusting Junmyeon hyung? You’re choosing to trust an assassin who stabbed you on your first meeting and who might be manipulating you instead of trusting Junmyeon hyung who has saved your life, our life, and has been raising you to become what you are today?!" Jongin finally snapped.

 

He should have expected these words, he should have expected this reaction and yet he couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt about it. He had heard those words so many times already and he could imagine Junmyeon pronouncing them the same exact way Jongin just did. He hated this.

 

"Junmyeon hyung’s attitude has been really weird lately, Jongin," Chanyeol said through gritted teeth, doing his best to stay calm. "He keeps getting angry at me, he keeps trying to kill Baekhyun and he never tells us anything. He’s hiding things from us!"

 

"I think you’re just saying that because Light has been saying that to you, Chanyeol. Those are _his_ words, not yours."

 

"Look," he exhaled, hating the way Jongin’s words were smart and logical because no, Baekhyun would never manipulate him like that. Baekhyun only wanted Chanyeol to be safe and remember him. "There’s only one way for us to really know. You have to hack into the boss’ computer and try finding any kind of information that could relate him to Baekhyun."

 

As soon as those words were out of his mouth, Jongin shot up on his feet, throwing his hands in the air as he looked at Chanyeol as if the latter had just went insane.

 

"What the hell are you saying, Chanyeol?"

 

"You’re not going to find anything if you simply search things about him, Jongin. That’s the only way for us to really know what’s happening around us," Chanyeol stood up as well, stepping closer to Jongin, hoping that he’d understand his intention and the big things that were at stake.

 

"You’ve really gone mad, Chanyeol! You’ve let that guy completely take over your mind," Jongin groaned as he shook his head as if he wanted to get rid of the words he had just heard from Chanyeol.

 

The latter was getting desperate because Jongin was the only one who could help him with this, Junmyeon didn’t want to say anything to him, Baekhyun had just started actually talking to him about the past and rushing things by asking questions about Junmyeon would only ruin the progress they made. He had thought Jongin would be willing to help because that’s the way it had always been, Jongin had always helped him, covered for him whenever he was doing something without Junmyeon’s authorization, no matter how tiny that thing might be, and Jongin had always been able to understand Chanyeol without his having to explain what he was thinking about. However, maybe this was the limit. 

 

Jongin was looking at him as if the mere act of pronouncing his doubts about Junmyeon was a crime. Deep down, Chanyeol knew it was one.

 

"Listen, Jongin, please," Chanyeol pleaded even if he was hurt by this excessive reaction. "Junmyeon has been acting suspicious and I _need_ to know things. No one is telling me anything! The files hidden in there might be exactly what I need to figure everything out. Don’t you remember the way Junmyeon always warned us never to touch anything in his office when we were younger?"

 

"I do, Chanyeol!" Jongin raised his voice, making Chanyeol flinch. He couldn’t even blame Jongin for reacting this way, had the roles been reversed, Chanyeol would have done the same thing. At least he would have reacted that way a few months ago, now he would have helped Jongin find out everything he needed to know about Junmyeon. The thought was a bit unsettling. "And that’s exactly why what you’re asking me to do is stupid and dangerous. This is like betrayal. Don’t you trust the boss anymore? Can’t you remember what he has done for us? You’re willing to throw all your life away just for some stupid feelings you have towards the completely wrong person?"

 

And that was the last straw.

 

"How can you call my feelings stupid, Jongin?" Chanyeol snapped, raising his voice as well. "You can’t understand, you can’t even imagine what i’m going through right now and you’re not even willing to help me? You’re smart. Can’t you see that everything happening is just too weird? Junmyeon’s acting too suspiciously! We have to know what’s happening."

 

"You’ve changed, Chanyeol," Jongin hissed, effectively shutting the assassin up. "You’ve really changed and I’m not sure I like this new version of you. I thought you were the most loyal out of us but I was wrong. You’re willing to betray Junmyeon hyung so easily," he shook his head, giving Chanyeol that look. The look he had never given Chanyeol before, the one of utter and absolute disappointment.

 

And Chanyeol couldn’t feel sorry. Remorse was there, somewhere deep inside of him, it had been nestled there ever since he had stepped into Jongin’s apartment a few minutes ago but it was only growing bigger now that he had heard those words out of his best friend’s mouth. However, he didn’t feel sorry. He could only feel a deep, devastating wave of anger washing over any other feeling as silence settled over the room and they simply looked at each other. 

 

Why didn’t anyone want to help him? Who would help him if even his best friend, his brother, was leaving him to deal with everything on his own?

 

"Jongin," Chanyeol tried a last time, hands squeezing into fists at his sides.

 

"I’m not going to help you betray the man who saved our life, Chanyeol. I think you should take a break and think about your actions."

 

The silence that followed those words were heavy and Chanyeol tried to focus on it instead of the sting he could feel in his palms, his fingernails digging into his skin. However, Chanyeol knew Jongin enough to hear what was hidden in his silence and he knew that the other was expecting him to get out of his house as soon as possible. The way Jongin glared at him, his irises drowning in a brown ocean of anger and disappointment was enough proof of it.

 

Chanyeol looked at his best friend one last time before turning around and rushing towards the door with long strides, his footsteps heavy against the floor as the weight of his own actions pushed down on his shoulders. The door slammed behind him as he left Jongin’s apartment and the hallway was empty but Chanyeol felt as if he could still feel both Jongin and Junmyeon’s disappointed gaze on him. He had never fought with Jongin either and this had not been as bad as it could have been but Jongin had made it clear that he thought Chanyeol was being stupid and that he would in no way help him. He didn’t even know how he felt about it, he wasn’t sure whether this was a sign that he should definitely stop letting Baekhyun’s words get into his head or if this was yet another reason why he definitely should continue looking into things.

 

The only thing he was sure of was that he felt angry, at Jongin for not believing him and at himself for ruining everything around him. He regretted it and the urge to apologize to Jongin and even Junmyeon was heavy but he wouldn’t do it, not because of pride or anything as petty but because deep down, he somehow knew he was doing the right thing. He’d have to find another way and maybe he’d have to force Baekhyun to tell him things again. It would be okay, as long as Jongin would keep his promise of not telling Junmyeon anything about what had been said a few minutes ago.

 

He was all alone in this but it wouldn’t prevent him from continuing on his rough path towards the answers he had been looking for since the very first day everything went downhill.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night, Chanyeol’s sleep had been restless and nearly nonexistent. It had been difficult to actually sleep when his head was fuzzy with thoughts, each question repeating itself over and over again, reminding him of the lack of answer. He had thought about Jongin’s words a lot, the way he had reacted so strongly to Chanyeol’s accusations towards Junmyeon and the way he has spoken as if the mere act of thinking that was was an unforgivable crime. Which it really was, now that Chanyeol thought about it. 

 

Would Chanyeol have reacted the same way had the roles been reversed? What would he have done if Jongin had been the one to come to him with such accusations solely based on the words of an assassin that had brought them nothing but trouble until now? What would he have thought about Jongin if he had told Chanyeol that the man who had been a fatherly figure to them until today was doing something bad behind their back? He probably would have reacted in a worse way than Jongin did, he would have gone mad, blamed Jongin for even thinking that way about Junmyeon, he would have reminded him of every single act of kindness Junmyeon had ever done to them, and he knew there were many of them. He would have been the first one to defend Junmyeon, he would have never let anyone talk about him that way. And that was what he had done when Baekhyun had first brought up his suspicions about Junmyeon, they had even fought because of that.

 

However, those times seemed to be long years ago and Chanyeol knew that now, he would never react that way about it. He didn’t exactly know when it had happened but he knew that after all of this, he wouldn’t be able to blindly trust Junmyeon like he used to maybe a mere week ago. Maybe Jongin was right, Baekhyun had really been the one to cause this change of behavior in him but Chanyeol couldn’t say that Junmyeon’s own actions hadn’t fueled it. Everything was just so odd and Junmyeon’s own behavior didn’t make sense either. He was aware of the fact that the elder would probably do anything to protect each member of Venom but that still didn’t explain the way he poured so much importance into getting rid of Baekhyun when the latter had even stopped stealing Chanyeol’s kills. Junmyeon was always on edge, kept asking about Baekhyun and tensed up every time the latter was brought up, Chanyeol didn’t understand.

 

Despite thinking about it all night, he still wasn’t sure whether what he had told Jongin was wrong or not. It would really be the best way for him to actually get his answers and he knew Jongin would be able to do it, he had years of experience and Chanyeol had watched him hack into the most difficult systems, doing the same thing to Junmyeon’s personal files wouldn’t be that hard. However, there was still the possibility of Chanyeol being completely wrong about everything and even then, he would at least be able to make sure whatever Baekhyun was telling was just part of another game.

 

He really didn’t know and standing in front of Junmyeon’s door right after a restless night would not help him decide whether he was doing the right thing or not, on the contrary, it would only push him to regret what he had sone. However, Junmyeon always had the oddest timing and when he had gotten a call from him this morning, asking to meet in his house in an hour, Chanyeol’s mind had came up with the worst things. He knew he could trust Jongin not to tell Junmyeon anything about their conversation, certainly not right on the morning after but he stil couldn’t tone down the apprehension that had settled in the pit of his stomach after that phone call. 

 

He had been standing in front of Junmyeon’s office for a whole minute now and finally, he gathered enough courage to raise his hand and knock on the door thrice, knuckles colliding with the wooden door with a confidence that Chanyeol certainly didn’t have at the moment.

 

"Come in, Chanyeol," he heard through the door and of course, Junmyeon would recognize him just by the way he knocked on his door.

 

Something churned in his stomach but he took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping in.

 

"Good morning, hyung," he said, doing his best to sound casual.

 

Junmyeon was sitting behind his desk, as usual, and contrary to what Chanyeol had expected, when he looked at the latter and gestured him to take a seat, there was a light smile on his lips. The sight somehow managed to make Chanyeol uneasy but he tried not to show it and settled on the armchair in front of Junmyeon’s desk. The urge to apologize was there and it ticked him off, the way it almost felt like a reflex to him.

 

"How are you feeling?" the elder asked, as if they had not just fought yesterday.

 

"Great," Chanyeol replied, sighing when that single word sounded more like a question than an affirmation. "A bit tired."

 

"You do look like you haven’t slept well," Junmyeon hummed, observing Chanyeol.

 

"Yeah, I guess I didn’t," the younger replied and he felt utterly awkward, sitting there and having this conversation with Junmyeon who merely looked at him, calm and unbothered. 

 

He had never felt this way before, not with Junmyeon. He had always felt so comfortable and safe whenever he was near the elder and this was wrong, so wrong. He couldn’t help but hate this.

 

"What about you?" he asked, shifting uncomfortably on his seat.

 

"I think we should stop beating around the bush and talk about why I called you here. Don’t you think so, kiddo?" Junmyeon chuckled quietly and Chanyeol looked at him, relaxing the slightest.

 

"I guess you didn’t call me here to ask about how I am," Chanyeol tried chuckling, the sound hollow and painfully awkward.

 

"Well, I didn’t ask you how you were feeling just for the hell of it either. I genuinely care about you and I hope you know that," Junmyeon said, voice softening a bit as he leaned forward, catching Chanyeol’s gaze. The latter had done his best to avoid directly looking at him until now.

 

Did he really care about Chanyeol? That was not what his words during that fight led Chanyeol to think. He clearly remembered Junmyeon calling him the _bullet of a gun a client would pull the trigger of._ If Junmyeon really did care about him, he wouldn’t have said so many hurtful things yesterday and he wouldn’t have reacted so badly to Chanyeol asking for more information on a kill. They had been together for ten years, Chanyeol had thought it was his right to demand some things nicely but Junmyeon didn’t seem to think the same way as he did. 

 

"Chanyeol?" Junmyeon called out when Chanyeol remained silent. "You know that I care about you, right?" he asked again and when Chanyeol looked at him again, his eyebrows were furrowed a bit and there was uncertainty in his eyes. As if he was scared of what Chanyeol would reply.

 

He looked as if he was genuinely scared and a part of Chanyeol felt bad for putting Junmyeon in this state but the other part of him couldn’t even believe anything that came out of his mouth anymore. The elder’s words from yesterday still echoed in his head. His heart clenched in his chest though, as he thought about all those times Junmyeon kept telling him they were family when he was younger and just moved into the elder’s house. He remembered the way Junmyeon would tell him not to be scared of anyone whenever a younger Chanyeol would tell him about a nightmare that would bother him for the whole day. 

 

 _‘You don’t have to be scared, Chanyeol-ah. I won’t let anyone do anything to you anymore, we’re family now.’_ Chanyeol had heard these words dozens of time and whenever training was getting too hard, whenever Minseok kept pushing him too hard when he was teaching Chanyeol to properly fight, he always thought of Junmyeon’s words, because they were family now. How did they even reach this point? How come Chanyeol was questioning Junmyeon’s sincerity now? He wanted to believe him, he wanted to apologize to Junmyeon and yet, something held him back.

 

However, he couldn’t let Junmyeon know that so he sighed. "I know, you do."

 

"Great," the other replied, visibly relaxing as a smile made its way on his lips again. "I care about all of you. Each of you is a member of my family, you’re the only family I have, Chanyeol, and you can’t blame me for doing my best to protect it."

 

That was what bound them all together, they had no one but each other. However, did Junmyeon really consider them all like a family? In that case, why couldn’t he reply to a simple request of Chanyeol’s? Questions kept colliding with each other in Chanyeol’s head and amongst them, Baekhyun’s warnings about the elder.

 

"I know, hyung. We all consider you like family too. I do."

 

That was why he needed to know everything about Junmyeon, everything that the elder was hiding from him. He needed to know whether what he was hearing right now was a mere lie. He wished with all his heart not to be disappointed with the answers he’d get, if he ever managed to reach them.

 

"Look," Junmyeon sighed and Chanyeol knew him well enough to ear the regret in that single breath. "I’m sorry for getting angry yesterday and for saying those things to you. I’m just really on edge lately with what’s happening to cobra and a deal that’s not going too well with another ally. I guess I just took it all out on you and I’m really sorry for that."

 

For a few seconds, Chanyeol observed Junmyeon. The tone of his voice, the regret in his eyes, his pursed lips, and his furrowed eyebrows. He was apologizing to Chanyeol, something that he had never had to do before and he seemed so genuine while doing it, as if he was really regretting their fight.

 

However, a voice in Chanyeol’s head told him to be careful and it wouldn’t quiet down no matter how much he tried to get rid of it. It oddly sounded like Baekhyun’s voice and Chanyeol knew that yesterday had been a turning point in his life. He wouldn’t be able to blindly believe everything that came out of Junmyeon’s mouth anymore, not until he had the proofs he was looking for. The thought hurt a bit, it was as if someone had put fire to everything Chanyeol had thought was right until today and the flames were reaching him, burning his skin.

 

"I’m sorry too, hyung," he sighed, looking away from Junmyeon and focusing on his clenched fists instead, head tilted down a bit. "I shouldn’t have disrespected you like that either, I’m sorry for raising my voice to you and telling you those things."

 

"It’s alright, kid. You’re a grown man now and I can’t expect you to still nod at everything I say like you used to do when you were a child, right?" Junmyeon chuckled softly.

 

Something bitter spread in Chanyeol’s mouth. "You’re right." If Junmyeon thought Chanyeol was not a kid anymore, he would reply to his questions now. He would give him the answers Chanyeol had asked for yesterday.

 

"It’s okay now that we both apologized, right?" he asked and CHanyeol nodded. "I hope it won’t happen again. I don’t like arguing with you."

 

"I don’t either, I’m sorry," Chanyeol nodded, looking at Junmyeon, waiting for him to speak again. It was so stupid for Chanyeol to hope he would reply to his questions now but he couldn’t help it. He truly wanted to trust Junmyeon with all his heart, like he used to do before.

 

However, Junmyeon’s smile held a tint of satisfaction, as if hearing Chanyeol’s apology was all that he had wanted. 

 

"It’s alright. We both made mistakes, I wasn’t patient enough and you were asking for more information than you needed to have," Junmyeon shook his head and looked down at his watch. Chanyeol was grateful for that action because if Junmyeon had looked at him, he would have seen the utter disappointment spreading over the younger’s features.

 

Maybe he had expected too much.

 

"You tend to always react too much whenever the topic’s Light," Junmyeon commented when Chanyeol remained silent, looking at him again.

 

"Do I?" Chanyeol asked, chuckling and hoping that he sounded casual enough.

 

"You do, if I didn’t know better I’d almost think I was the bad guy in this story instead of Light," Junmyeon chuckled along, completely casual while Chanyeol felt each inch of his body suddenly tense up.

 

Chanyeol forced another chuckle out. "That wouldn’t make sense, hyung."

 

Those words had to be forced out as well because with each passing second, Chanyeol couldn't help but think that Baekhyun was right. Maybe he shouldn’t trust Junmyeon. He had not even given Chanyeol the answers he had asked for yesterday, he only brushed it off with an apology and maybe, a week ago, Chanyeol would have found it normal and would have felt incredibly happy that Junmyeon wasn’t mad at him but now, Chanyeol couldn’t find it genuine. The thought hurt him, but he just couldn’t anymore.

 

"I know. I know you don’t think that way," Junmyeon shrugged before smiling at Chanyeol.

 

Nothing had really changed, Junmyeon was the same person. He was giving Chanyeol the same smile, the same tone of voice, the same forgiving attitude, nothing had changed about him. However, Chanyeol couldn’t say the same thing about himself and at the moment, he couldn’t tell whether it was a good thing or not.

 

"I’m glad you do," he replied, smiling back at the elder.

 

As soon as those words left his mouth, he felt his phone vibrating against his thigh and by the way Junmyeon’s eyes flicked down, he had heard it as well. He mumbled an apology, waiting for the elder to nod before he pulled the device out of his pocket, inwardly thanking whoever had messaged him because he wouldn’t have been able to bear continuing this uncomfortable conversation. As he unlocked the phone and read the message, he bit into his lower lip to conceal a smile, his body already relaxing.

 

**_From: Baekhyun_ **

_‘Meet me at the park in a few minutes.’_

 

He felt tingles in his stomach at the thought of being able to see Baekhyun again, so soon. Baekhyun would be able to help him sort his thoughts out, Chanyeol always felt better whenever they were together.

 

"Who’s that?" he heard, Junmyeon’s voice snapping him out of his thoughts.

 

A lie automatically formed on his lips. "Just Jongdae. He sent me another stupid video to watch," he said while locking his phone again and slipping it into the pocket of his jacket.

 

"As usual," Junmyeon shook his head in a mix of amusement and exasperation. "You can go and watch it then," he continued, letting Chanyeol know that he was dismissed.

 

"Thanks, hyung. Have a nice day," he said politely while standing up.

 

"You too, Chanyeol."

 

Chanyeol’s steps were quick as he headed out of the room and as soon as he was in the hallway, he took a deep breath, exhaling slowly afterwards. This had been the most difficult conversation he ever had to have and he didn’t even want to think back on it now, a headache already knocking on his temples. He started heading towards the exit, closing his eyes and bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was still somehow confused but at least, now he knew that what he was doing was definitely the right thing. He needed to somehow convince Jongin of helping him, he was the only one he could trust about this.

 

A sudden collision with something, or rather someone stopped him in his tracks, pulling him out of his thoughts, and when he opened his eyes, he was met with Minseok’s sharp and yet blank gaze. He took a step back.

 

"Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going," he chuckled quietly. Minseok’s only reply was a dismissive shake of his head and Chanyeol managed to smile more genuinely than he had done for the past day. "You’re visiting Junmyeon hyung again?"

 

"The usual," was Minseok’s only reply, a shrug accompanying his words. He then flicked his gaze over Chanyeol. "Going somewhere?"

 

Chanyeol nodded. "I’m going home, I need to catch up on some sleep, I have a kill tomorrow and it’s not even midday yet but I’m tired," he lied.

 

"Be careful," Minseok said after humming and Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows.

 

"I’m only going home, hyung. What could even happen?" he chuckled, half awkwardly, half nervously.

 

Instead of replying, Minseok simply shrugged and stepped to the side to continue his path towards Junmyeon’s office. Chanyeol turned around to watch him as he walked away but the elder never once glanced back at him and simply disappeared, rounding the corner of the hallway that led to Junmyeon’s office. 

 

Chanyeol simply sighed, shook his head, and made his way out of the house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What’s wrong?" Baekhyun said as soon as Chanyeol was close enough to hear him.

 

As expected, Baekhyun had arrived here first but this time, he wasn’t talking on the phone near the bushes and the trees but he was on the playground, settled on the swing once again. That reminded him that he still hadn’t thought back about that odd phone conversation but somehow, as soon as Chanyeol could properly see Baekhyun’s face, it didn’t really matter anymore. 

 

Baekhyun oddly looked like a kid as he sat on that swing, moving slightly, feet still keeping him grounded on the floor and hands gripping the chains tightly, skin reddened a bit from the bite of the cold breeze that was probably kept on the metal. However, Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun was far from being a kid, even if he had acted like one on their last encounter, and the mere sight of his smile was enough to make it easier to breath for Chanyeol. Nothing had changed in the park, it was still gloomy, probably unsafe, and yet Baekhyun oddly made it feel like the safest place on earth, warming it up enough for Chanyeol to not even mind the fact that it was really cold and Baekhyun still insisted on meeting outside instead of at Chanyeol’s apartment.

 

Instead of giving Baekhyun a proper reply, Chanyeol walked to him in silence and didn’t stop until he could wrap his arms around Baekhyun’s shoulders, pulling him against his chest, Baekhyun’s head resting against his abdomen instead since the latter was sitting on the swing and Chanyeol was still standing on his two feet. He cradled Baekhyun’s head, fingers tangling in his hair as he felt the other’s arms wrapping around his waist. Chanyeol inhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a second as he simply relaxed, enjoying Baekhyun’s warmth. It was odd, the way Baekhyun could make him feel so confused and restless while his presence sent a warmth of comfort through his whole body at the same time.

 

"You know that this would look really weird to someone who’d pass by and see us, right?" Baekhyun muttered against Chanyeol’s shirt and the latter let out a snort, pulling away.

 

"You keep making us meet in abandoned places, no one would even see us here," Chanyeol raised a brow, stepping back to properly look at Baekhyun again.

 

The latter curved his lips into an amused smirk, looking up at Chanyeol with his beautiful droopy eyes. "Maybe that’s because I want you all to myself."

 

"That’s what assassins always say before stabbing someone," Chanyeol deadpanned, trying to keep his amused smile controlled.

 

"Maybe that’s just your own experience talking," Baekhyun said and suddenly swung forward, almost kicking Chanyeol who managed to step back at the last moment.

 

"See? You’re already trying to kill me," the taller muttered teasingly.

 

"You look clumsy enough to get yourself killed without my help," Baekhyun snorted before looking at Chanyeol more seriously. "You didn’t reply to my question. What’s wrong?"

 

"Everything’s fine, why are you asking?" Chanyeol lied.

 

"I know you, Chanyeol. You looked really upset while walking here."

 

"I’m just tired," he shrugged.

 

Baekhyun looked at him for a few silent seconds before smiling softly. "I guess you’re not going to push me on this swing today then."

 

"No, I don’t want you to try killing me by crushing me again," Chanyeol laughed softly, moving to lean against the dark green vertical bar of the swing again.

 

"Don’t act as if you wouldn’t catch me if I did it again," Baekhyun singsonged, slowly swinging himself, feet still grounded on the floor and keeping him from moving too much.

 

Chanyeol would, he’d catch Baekhyun again and again to prevent him from cashing on the floor and hurting himself. However, Baekhyun already knew it so he didn’t say it aloud. Instead, he let silence settle over them for a few seconds, gaze never once leaving Baekhyun as the latter did the same thing, simply waiting for Chanyeol to speak again.

 

It was so calming to just stand there and watch Baekhyun, Chanyeol thought that he would probably never get tired of doing it and it looked like Baekhyun wouldn’t mind either. Their relationship had evolved so quickly, Chanyeol still wasn’t exactly sure what they were and he wouldn’t be able to put a name to what was between them but it didn’t really matter. It almost felt as if everything had happened overnight and he didn’t even remember when he had stopped hating Baekhyun and started wanting to protect him instead. All the memories that came back to him played a big role in that, he was aware of it, but he still couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when he had started feeling odd things for Baekhyun. Maybe it had been this way from he start. 

 

Maybe Baekhyun would now be willing to share more things with him.

 

"Baekhyun," he called out softly and the shorter instantly looked at him, humming in reply. "Could you tell me more about… us?" he asked, clearing his throat when Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "About our past, I mean. Since you did tell me some things yesterday, maybe you could tell me more. Even if it’s just things to confirm what I already figured from the memories."

 

Silence was Baekhyun’s only reply for a few seconds before he sighed, nodding.

 

"Alright, I guess I can. What do you want to know?"

 

"What were we? I mean, how did we meet? How long have we known each other for? Why are we so close?" Chanyeol fired, asking everything that came to his mind.

 

"Slow down," Baekhyun chuckled softly before humming as if to gather his replies in his head first. "We’re both orphans, we have no one, as far as I know at least. I’m not sure when it happened exactly, we were both too young to remember but we met in the streets and we were both basically street rats, children who had no one, no family, no home, no one keeping them alive. I know that my parents are dead, I used to live with my uncle when I was eight but I couldn’t really call that ‘living’ actually, " Baekhyun chuckled and Chanyeol could see that it was still a painful memory for him.

 

"You ran away from home?" he asked.

 

"Yeah, I did. I ran away from home and no one came looking for me so I made a new home for myself in the streets. I was hungry, cold, clueless about everything but at least, I treated myself like a human being and didn’t have to beg anyone for anything. Of course, that’s what I thought at first. Living in the streets isn’t easy. You’re the same," he said, looking at Chanyeol. "You told me your parents were dead as well. You used to live in the streets with your mother but she was really sick and you were left all alone when you turned nine. We both met then," Baekhyun continued and Chanyeol wanted to interrupt him to elaborate because it was the first time he had heard about his parents, as far as he remembered at least and he wanted to know more but was there even anything else to know?

 

The way Baekhyun’s smile turned fond when he mentioned their meeting cut his breath and he couldn’t say anything.

 

"We were nine years old when we met, in the streets. I still clearly remember that day, I was sick, really sick. I had spent only a few months in the streets then, I still didn’t know how to properly survive and winter had finally settled over the city. It was one of the coldest days of the year and I thought I was going to die that day, I was laying on a wet flattened cardboard box in one of the many backstreets I frequented and it was really cold, I was starving. I guess I was complaining about it aloud, I was probably even crying about it," Baekhyun continued, gaze lost somewhere on the floor.

 

Somehow, it wasn’t even difficult to imagine Baekhyun that way. He could definitely see the child that he always met in his memories lying on the floor, curled up around himself and shaking from the cold. Chanyeol’s heart clenched at the thought and he couldn’t bear it, he hated the thought of Baekhyun being so weak and helpless. Everything matched the few memories he had until now.

 

"How did you survive then?" he asked, almost in a whisper.

 

"I survived thanks to you," Baekhyun chuckled, but it wasn’t out of amusement or joy. Chanyeol could hear his voice trembling as he looked down, feet digging into the ground. "The next thing I knew, there was another child handing me a piece of bread and telling me to eat it as he checked my fever. Life was harsh in the streets, everyone cared for themselves and only themselves, I knew there was another man who always slept in the same alley as me, he was probably waiting for me to die so he could have the spot all to himself. However, you weren’t like that, Chanyeol-ah," he smiled, the curve of his lips barely visible as he finally looked at the taller again. "You gave me your food even if you hadn’t eaten anything in three days at that time, you went around to look for newspaper in trashcans to cover me up with it, and you even went as far as begging someone who worked in a drugstore to give you medicine, telling them that your friend was dying and that no one was helping him. You didn’t know me, you found me there by mistake and yet, you still took care of me."

 

And Chanyeol didn't remember, he really didn’t, but it sounded so familiar, he could basically visualize that whole scene in his head. Maybe that was because he would do the same thing now, if they could go back to that time, Chanyeol would do the same thing. He’d probably do anything to keep Baekhyun alive, even now.

 

"I’m glad I was able to help you," he managed to say, throat tied into a knot. He didn’t know why he felt that way but hearing those words made him feel emotional. Was it possible to feel that way over something you didn’t remember?

 

"You did," Baekhyun grinned at him, eyes crinkling on the corner, teeth showing as he smiled genuinely. "And I’m not sure how it happened, maybe it was a miracle. After that day we just naturally stuck together and that’s how we survived, together. We never left each other alone, we were best friends and we swore to remain that way forever," he finished, one hand letting go o the swing’s chain to play with the black and white bracelet around his wrist. Chanyeol remembered hearing those words in a memory, one where Baekhyun had given him that same bracelet that he was wearing as well.

 

He could now understand why he remembered feeling so protective over Baekhyun, it made sense. He had saved him once and maybe when he was still a child who had nothing but bad luck and a friend by his side, he had thought that if he saved Baekhyun once, he’d have to do it all his life. He still thought that way. By the way Baekhyun talked about their past is if it was the most precious thing he ever had, maybe he thought that way too.

 

"I wish I could remember all of that," he sighed, leaning his head back against the metal bar behind him, looking up at the grey winter sky as he played the few memories he had in his head.

 

"Maybe one day you will," Baekhyun said, standing up before moving to stand next to Chanyeol, leaning his back against the second vertical bar next to the one Chanyeol was leaning against. "I hope you will."

 

He would. Chanyeol would remember everything one day. He’d make sure of it.

 

"What happened after that though?" he asked because it still didn’t make sense. How did they go from being two homeless kids to being two rival assassins?

 

"We lived together after that, we tried surviving, finding food, stealing it, begging for money to passerby’s. Do you remember the warehouse we officially met in for the first time?" Baekhyun asked, turning his head to look at Chanyeol.

 

How could Chanyeol forget that warehouse? "Of course I do. You annoyed me a lot there."

 

"That’s not what you were saying when we were-"

 

"What about that warehouse?" Chanyeol interrupted him before Baekhyun could forget about their actual subject.

 

The other huffed softly but still continued. "We used to live there."

 

"In that warehouse?" he asked, eyes widening.

 

"Yeah, I think you found it after your mother died and you were already living there when we met. You asked me to live there with you," he continued, seemingly amused by Chanyeol’s surprise. "Why do you think there was an old mattress there?"

 

"I… didn’t really think about it that day," Chanyeol muttered.

 

Now that he thought about it, he had really felt odd in that warehouse, it had felt oddly familiar and he remembered being able to navigate through it and find his way to Baekhyun without any difficulty, as if he had walked in the same path hundreds of times before. And maybe he really had.

 

"I know," Baekhyun chuckled softly, shrugging. "I brought you there because I thought it would trigger some memories and you would remember me. It didn’t really work," he sighed.

 

"I still remembered some things after that though," he muttered in an attempt to comfort Baekhyun.

 

"True," the shorter shrugged. "And we still had a lot of fun in that place, right?" he asked, dark gaze finding Chanyeol’s as his lips curved into yet another devastatingly attractive smirk. "It wasn’t a total waste of time."

 

"I guess we did," Chanyeol replied, shaking his head in mock exasperation even if a smile made its way onto his lips. "It’s a special place to us then."

 

"It is."

 

"How long did we spend in the streets then? How did we get separated?" the taller continued asking because even if he had more information now, it only left him with even more questions.

 

Baekhyun sighed, biting his lower lip for a few seconds. "We were taken in by a generous man right before we turned twelve years old."

 

Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, waiting for Baekhyun to continue. However, the latter remained silent.

 

"And? Then what?" Chanyeol urged him, looking at him in confusion.

 

Baekhyun shook his head before turning to Chanyeol with a teasing smile on his lips. "That’s it for today. You’ll get the rest of the story another day, it wouldn’t be fun to tell everything at once, would it?"

 

"What the hell, Baekhyun," Chanyeol protested, stepping closer to the other. "You can’t just stop there, I want to know. I need to know what happened."

 

"No, Chanyeol," Baekhyun replied, shaking his head.

 

"At least tell me something about why you hate Junmyeon so much," Chanyeol insisted, pleading Baekhyun with his eyes.

 

However, the latter’s gaze hardened at the mention of the man and he stepped away from Chanyeol.

 

"I don’t want to talk about that, Chanyeol," he warned the other, glaring at him.

 

Sighing, Chanyeol chose not to insist anymore, not wanting to ruin everything since it was basically a miracle that Baekhyun even accepted telling him all those things without Chanyeol having to insist for too long. Moreover, he was still too deep in the emotion that those revelations had pulled him into and he didn’t want to exhaust himself by fighting about it with Baekhyun. Forcing him or pressuring him was not the right way to take answers, Chanyeol figured it out by now, he just had to wait for Baekhyun to be ready to talk about it.

 

"Fine, but one day, when you’re ready, you will tell me everything," he said firmly, making sure that Baekhyun understood that he wouldn’t let go of this topic.

 

The other sighed but still nodded. "I will, when we’re both ready."

 

Chanyeol relaxed the slightest at that, letting a few seconds go by before he reached to wrap his fingers around Baekhyun’s wrist, pulling the latter closer to himself and curving his lips into a grateful smile. Baekhyun’s eyes flickered down to his lips and he mirrored the smile.

 

"Thank you for telling me all of this," the taller said softly. Baekhyun could have shut him up again, he could have distracted him or even run away to avoid replying to Chanyeol’s questions like he used to do before yesterday but instead of doing any of that, he had honestly replied to Chanyeol’s questions and that made the latter incredibly happy.

 

Baekhyun shook his head, still smiling as his arms snaked around Chanyeol’s neck and he leaned closer to him. "I just want you to remember, Chanyeol, you don’t have to thank me."

 

"Still," he replied, gaze trailing over Baekhyun’s features, admiring him and marking his face into his head once again. He wanted to make sure that he’d never forget this beautiful face ever again. "Usually you get all bitchy about it, we’re making some progress," Chanyeol grinned.

 

Baekhyun snorted, narrowing his eyes a bit. "I can get bitchy right now if you want. I can also get really violent," he warned Chanyeol, the playful glint in his eyes shining brighter than ever.

 

"I think you just need to chill," Chanyeol snorted as well before they both started laughing.

 

It was so nice to be able to laugh so freely with Baekhyun, Chanyeol hoped it would happen more often. After hearing the story about how they had met, he kind of saw Baekhyun in a different light, it was odd but Baekhyun seemed even more fragile right now. Chanyeol wanted to protect him but he wondered if he would be able to protect himself from all the bad things this whole situation would bring to him.

 

"You should thank me properly," Baekhyun said when they were calmer.

 

"I already thanked you."

 

"I know but," Baekhyun said, lowering his voice the slightest as he leaned closer to Chanyeol, his next words almost forming against the taller’s lips. Chanyeol’s breath hitched, his hold around the other’s waist tightening. "I do think I deserve more than a small thank you. Don’t you think so, Chanyeol-ah?"

 

As if pulled by an inexplicable force that kept throwing his body all over the place, controlled by Baekhyun who kept pushing him one second and pulling him closer the next, Chanyeol ended the distance remaining between them right after Baekhyun was done talking and pressed his lips against the other’s, tilting his head a bit and cradling the shorter’s cheek with his palm as he deepened the kiss.

 

Once again, his small world zeroed to Baekhyun who was the only thing, the only person who mattered at that moment. Each of his thoughts were about Baekhyun, about the softness of his lips, the taste of his skin, the small noises of satisfaction that caressed Chanyeol’s ears. Baekhyun was a warmth that Chanyeol wanted to keep locked in his chest and maybe that was what had pushed him to keep Baekhyun by his side all those years ago, when they were nothing but kids that clung to each other for life. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was only a few hours later that Chanyeol finally noticed the lack of something important. Being with Baekhyun made him unable to pay attention to anything else but the latter and as usual, it was only once he parted ways with Baekhyun that he managed to snap back to reality and became aware of his surroundings again. 

 

The first thing he noticed was that his phone was missing and at first, it wasn’t really a big deal, he just turned around halfway to his house and went back to the park, looking for it everywhere without amounting to any kind of success. He would have heard it if he had dropped it at the park and it was nowhere to be found. That was when panic slowly started to creep into him because the only place he had been besides the park was Junmyeon’s house and he knew he had it in his hands when he was in the elder’s office, Baekhyun had texted him to meet at the park and he remembered putting the device back into his jacket’s pocket after replying to him and before leaving Junmyeon’s office. He hadn’t used his car at all so that option was out of the way which only meant that he had dropped it at Junmyeon’s house.

 

Maybe it had happened when Minseok had bumped into him in the hallway, he hadn’t heard anything sounding like an object dropping on the floor but he couldn’t know for sure, Minseok had appeared in front of him so suddenly that he might have not paid attention to anything else but him.  He immediately took the way to Junmyeon’s house again, cold dread settling in the pit of his stomach.

 

It wasn’t really a problem, Chanyeol had already forgotten his stuff several times at Junmyeon’s house which sometimes even felt like his own house, he used to live with the elder after all, and Jongin often claimed that he lost his phone only to find it in Junmyeon’s house during his next visit. It wasn’t anything too bad and Chanyeol usually wouldn’t even bother looking for it so quickly but it was different this time. There were too many things in that phone now, too many messages exchanged with Baekhyun and even if Junmyeon would need a password to unlock his phone, the possibility of Baekhyun choosing that exact moment to text him and the thought of Junmyeon seeing the notification still made him uneasy. Even if the elder wouldn’t know who ‘Baekhyun’ was, Chanyeol still didn't want to lie to him if Junmyeon were to ask him about it.

 

Therefore, he reached Junmyeon’s house as quickly as he could and didn’t even greet the maid who opened the door to him while giving him a surprised look. Her greeting was ignored and Chanyeol immediately walked in, heading towards Junmyeon’s office with long steps. He had a bad feeling and he barely even heard the woman, the sound of his heartbeat too loud in his own ears. He was visiting unannounced and usually, Junmyeon disliked that but he had no choice, he was in a rush, way too negative about what could happen. He still made sure to look around the hallway where he had bumped into Minseok, gaze rapidly running over every nook and corner of the hallway, but there was nothing on the floor so he strode towards Junmyeon’s office and knocked on the door thrice, not even waiting for permission to enter and opening the door in a haste, somehow short of breath after rushing there.

 

"Hyung, did you see my-" he started, voice sounding off even to his own ears, only to cut himself off right away.

 

He stopped in his tracks as soon as he stepped in, freezing at the sight of Junmyeon frowning from behind his desk where he was once again settled and Jongin sitting on the armchair in front of said desk, lips parted as if he was cut mid sentence. The air in the room was heavy and when Jongin turned to look at him, his eyes widened, as if he was not expecting Chanyeol to walk in right at that moment.

 

When Chanyeol saw the way his eyes widened, dark orbs filling with an emotion that he had seen enough to title it as a mix between guilt and panic, he remembered the conversation he had with Jongin not earlier than yesterday and the promise the latter had done about keeping things between them. Cold dread spread through his whole body at the thought and Chanyeol looked between the two other occupants of the room, waiting for a bomb that he had created with his own hands to explode right in front of him.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Long seconds of silence settled over the room after Chanyeol’s entrance and the latter couldn’t help but feel like he had disturbed a very important and heavy conversation. His heartbeat quickened with adrenaline as he feared the content of that conversation and judging by Jongin’s expression as he looked up at Chanyeol, frozen, the latter had a clear idea on what was being said before he entered. 

 

The next second, Jongin averted his gaze to look at Junmyeon, avoiding Chanyeol gaze. The taller stopped breathing and followed his gaze to see that the elder’s features were softening a bit and he gave a quick glance at Jongin, one that Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether it was casual or not, before looking at Chanyeol again. However, if there was something Chanyeol knew it was that Jongin would always, always avert his gaze whenever he felt guilty about something. 

 

"Chanyeol, it’s just you," Junmyeon said as a form of greeting, leaning back against his seat. He had been hunched forward a bit until then and Chanyeol knew that the elder usually hunched forward whenever he was discussing something while using a low voice. Things that he didn’t want anyone else to hear. "I thought it was a maid and I was about to say really ugly things."

 

Not really able to register those words at the moment, Chanyeol glanced at his best friend who refused to look at him, head tilted down a bit to stare at his own intertwined fingers instead, dark bangs covering his gaze and rendering Chanyeol unable to even try reading his gaze. He took a deep breath. He had to stay calm. He didn’t know what was happening, he didn’t what they had been talking about before his arrival and he could only be panicking for nothing. Jongin would never betray him like that anyway. Right?

 

"We were just talking about you, with Jongin," Junmyeon continued when Chanyeol stayed silent and at those words, the latter’s gaze snapped back towards Junmyeon. He raised a brow, feigning curiosity instead of panic and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket to conceal the way he was slightly shaking.

 

If Jongin had told everything to Junmyeon, it would be the end for him. Junmyeon would never forgive him, he would never accept the way Chanyeol had even dared being suspicious about him and chose to believe Light instead. What if Jongin even told him everything Chanyeol had said about Baekhyun, the memories, their childhood together? What if they had been discussing what they were supposed to do to punish Chanyeol for his wrongdoings and his _betrayal?_ What if he had just put Baekhyun in danger? Would Baekhyun blame him for that? Of course he would, he totally would because it was Chanyeol’s fault. Maybe trusting Jongin had been a mistake. Why had he been weak enough to tell him everything? He had thought Jongin would understand him though. Maybe he should have known this would happen, he had reacted way too badly that day. 

 

"Really?" Chanyeol asked instead of voicing out the millions of questions that crashed around in his head. He could at least manage to keep his tone neutral and calm. "What were you saying?" he asked, glancing at Jongin again but without any success. He refused to look at Chanyeol, as if guilty.

 

"I was just giving him your phone since you seem to have dropped it in the hallway earlier when you were here," Junmyeon answered, grabbing the phone that had been on the desk all along but that Chanyeol hadn’t noticed, too busy imagining the worst scenarios possible in his head. "I was asking Jongin to take it so you didn’t have to bother coming all the way here when you wanted it back. He came here to discuss a future meeting so I thought it would be easier for you if Jongin  had your phone. Right, Jongin-ah?" Junmyeon smiled lightly, looking at the man seated across him.

 

Relief should be flooding into Chanyeol’s body after hearing those words because it meant that nothing happened, Jongin hadn’t told him anything, and Baekhyun was safe. However, the mere sight of his phone in Junmyeon’s hand made him uncomfortable and he prayed for the screen to never light up with a notification that carried a name Junmyeon should never know about. Moreover, something didn’t feel right. He glanced at Jongin again. He still wasn’t looking at Chanyeol, he wasn’t even acknowledging Junmyeon’s words and for a second, the thought that all of this might be a lie came to Chanyeol’s mind. However, when his gaze trailed to Junmyeon again, the latter was giving Jongin a confused look, as if he couldn’t understand his silence either. 

 

"Thanks, hyung. I’ll take it now," Chanyeol chose to say as he stepped further into the room and walked towards the desk to take the phone from Junmyeon. 

 

Only when the device was in his hand did he relax a little bit, the tension that had been wrapped around his neck like a tightly knotted rope loosening and making it easier for him to take a deep breath. He pressed on the home button, relieved when he saw his screen empty of any kind of notification besides one from a game Jongin had downloaded into his phone a few weeks ago. 

 

"You should be more careful, kid. What if you had dropped it somewhere else? It could have been really dangerous for you," Junmyeon scolded him gently, calling for Chanyeol’s attention again as his gaze bore into the younger’s.

 

"I’ll be more careful," he promised, fingers tightening around the device.

 

Before anyone else could say something, Jongin suddenly shot up on his feet and headed towards the door with long strides, leaving Junmyeon’s office without any explanation or any words of farewell. Chanyeol followed him out of the room with his gaze, trying to read his expression but the only thing he had been able to see was the frown staining his features. He didn’t meet Chanyeol’s gaze even before closing the door behind him and Chanyeol didn’t know what to make out of it. If he hadn’t said anything to Junmyeon then why did Jongin feel so guilty? Maybe he was just about to tell he elder everything right before Chanyeol came? That could be possible but then Junmyeon would have said something about it. 

 

"Why is he acting so weird?" he heard Junmyeon mutter and when Chanyeol looked at him, he was frowning in confusion. It looked like he didn’t know the reason behind Jongin’s odd behavior either and that comforted Chanyeol a bit. He was safe for now.

 

"He seems to be in a bad mood," Chanyeol shrugged, honestly clueless but relieved. However, he couldn’t really show Junmyeon that a big wave of relief had just washed over him, soothing the worries that had been dancing around him like flames threatening to swallow him whole at any second.

 

"It looks like it. Did you have a fight or something? He was okay before you arrived."

 

"Yeah," he sighed, careful as not to pour too much emotion into his features. "We had a small argument. Nothing too important though, just the usual."

 

"Well, you should take care of it then," Junmyeon hummed, looking up at him from his desk, arms crossed over his chest.

 

He would. Chanyeol would take care of it, he had to ask Jongin why he had acted this way in front of Junmyeon.

 

"I will. Sorry for bothering you, hyung. I’ll go now," he announced, already taking a few steps back towards the door, impatient to leave this uncomfortable atmosphere. 

 

When Junmyeon nodded and told him he could leave, Chanyeol smiled at him before leaving the office as calmly as he could, making sure that his steps were slow and coordinated as he walked in the hallway, just in case Junmyeon would hear him rushing and get suspicious about it. Chanyeol had never felt so uncomfortable being alone with the elder and it somehow felt odd, he really wasn’t used to it but maybe it would be safer not to spend too much time alone with Junmyeon for now. 

 

As soon as he was out of the house, Chanyeol took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a few seconds and willing his heartbeat to slow down. He barely even could recall what he had told Junmyeon there, he had been panicking over what could have happened too much to really pay attention to his own words and he had never been so scared in his whole life. Somehow, these few minutes in Junmyeon’s office reminded him of how wrong what he was doing was. If Junmyeon were to find everything out, it would be the end for him and he didn’t even want to think about what the elder would do. He really had to be more careful and plan his steps carefully instead of jumping into bad situations like this.

 

Shaking those thoughts out of his head, Chanyeol sighed before unlocking his phone and going through his contacts list until he found Jongin’s name. He had to call him and ask what all of this was about, he didn’t h ave time to waste on worrying about what could have happened if he hadn’t arrived to Junmyeon’s house at the right time. They hadn’t talked since their argument about Junmyeon and Chanyeol really needed to know whether Jongin had been about to spill everything to the elder or not. Maybe he had just looked that way because he was feeling guilty about his reaction to Chanyeol’s words yesterday. He hoped that that was all it was about. 

 

He waited long seconds, listening to the continuous beeping as he waited for Jongin to pick up the call but the only voice that put an end to his stressful waiting was a robotic one that let him know that all he could do was leave a message. Sighing, Chanyeol hung up and tried a second time only to be met with the same frustrating result. Jongin was not picking up and Chanyeol knew him enough to understand that it meant he didn’t want to talk for now. That could either mean he was feeling guilty about what he had almost done or there was something else Chanyeol didn’t know about. However, that was unlikely, Junmyeon had been so casual earlier and even he had not understood Jongin’s behavior. 

 

He sighed, bringing a hand up to ruffle his hair in frustration. He needed to stop worrying about it so much, nothing had happened and he was safe for now. Baekhyun was safe too. He should focus on that fact instead of questioning everything. Jongin hadn’t said anything and that was what mattered for now. He had never imagined that Jongin would betray him like that but he was aware of the consequences of their discussion. Chanyeol had basically asked him to choose between Junmyeon and him and maybe it had been too much to expect his best friend to claim his loyalty to him instead of the man who had raised them together. He would have to try talking to Jongin about it, he was in no position to get angry, that would only worsen everything and Chanyeol simply had to make sure Jongin would keep his mouth shut about that matter instead. It would be better to leave Jongin be for today but he would try his best to contact him tomorrow morning.

 

Either way, Chanyeol now knew that he couldn’t really trust anyone with that matter. He had to do everything on his own, figure out everything on his own, and the best thing to do would be to trust Baekhyun and no one else. It looked like they had no one but each other again, just like it had been years ago, when they were kids left to deal with the tricks of Fate on their own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silence had always been something that Chanyeol despised and it had been that way since a long time ago, he never really knew the reason behind that hatred but he just couldn’t bear hearing his own thoughts. Not because he felt guilty of taking people’s life everyday, that was just a trivial matter and his job so there was no reason for him to despise that, but simply because silence felt wrong and he always had the need to fill that silence with something. Therefore, quiet days were the worst thing that could happen to him, it made him feel uneasy, it was almost unnatural and totally wrong. Usually, he’d deal with silence by leaving the television open at a random channel that would fill his house with laughter and random strangers’ voice, or just leave his house to hang out with Jongin, Jongdae, or even Junmyeon sometimes. Even Minseok’s silence wasn’t that bad, it didn’t make him feel uncomfortable and he was used to it.

 

However, ever since he had met Baekhyun, that oddly wasn’t enough anymore. Meeting any of his friends was out of the question as well, Chanyeol was doing his best to stay away from any of them to avoid letting anything slip out of his mouth and since they were all busy anyway, there was no point in going out of his way to create the occasion to meet them. Hearing people through the screen of his television or computer wasn’t enough either, it used to make him feel calm, as if he was surrounded by people he didn’t know, but now it was just meaningless, it didn’t help fill the silence he was eternally locked in. He came to figure out that it was because his craving for noise wouldn’t be satisfied by useless sounds anymore. He wasn’t sure when it happened exactly but he stopped craving just any kind of noise, there was only one voice he needed to chase away the uncomfortable silence that constantly whispered into his ears. The soft melody of Baekhyun’s laughter would be enough to put an end to that quiet torture and he figured that out when instead of reaching out for the remote control to switch the television on, he started reaching out for his phone and dialing Baekhyun’s number without even noticing that he was doing it.

 

Come to think of it, that repulsion against silence probably began after he started living with Junmyeon, he had always felt as if something was missing whenever it was silent and now, Chanyeol wondered if that thing was simply Baekhyun’s presence. It was never really silent whenever he was with Baekhyun, the latter always talked, always teased him, always laughed at Chanyeol’s words, and even when they weren’t talking, Baekhyun’s whole presence screamed at Chanyeol. It was never quiet when Baekhyun was with him and that was when Chanyeol felt the most comfortable. 

 

However, Baekhyun hadn’t been there for the last two days and their meeting at the park had once again been their last one before the other disappeared, not even replying to the few messages Chanyeol had sent him. That was what caused the wave of silence that crushed over Chanyeol’s life and the later hated the fact that he felt as if he could drown in it and lose his breath at any moment. It had been so quiet the past two days and Chanyeol had nothing to do but to wait for it to pass, busying himself with the few kills that Junmyeon had scheduled for him. Usually, when Baekhyun was away, Chanyeol would hang out with Jongin more, even if it was just lounging on the other’s couch and watching random drama reruns while Jongin was busy doing things on his computer, his fingers flying over his keyboard without ever stopping for long minutes.

 

Their odd meeting at Junmyeon’s house two days ago stopped him from doing that though because even if Jongin seemed not to have told anything to the leader, Chanyeol’s trust for him had wavered and he wouldn’t be able to build it up securely again without talking about it with Jongin. However, the latter was really good at avoiding people and Chanyeol had tried calling him dozens of time the morning after he lost his phone but no one had picked up his calls. Jongin seemed to still be angry which only upset Chanyeol more because, _he_ was supposed to feel angry and betrayed. _He_ was the one who had sweated bullets that day in Junmyeon’s office because he thought his best friend had betrayed him. The only thing Chanyeol could do was send him long messages in which he very kindly asked Jongin not to say anything to Junmyeon and reminded him of the promise he had made. It might be petty but Chanyeol refused to try calling Jongin again after that, the latter would contact him when he would like to talk again and Chanyeol wasn’t willing to step all over his pride and go to Jongin’s apartment, he knew the door wouldn’t open for him.

 

The quietness of his life only lasted two days though and it had felt like an eternity but when Junmyeon called him to let him know they would have a meeting with Cobra tonight, Chanyeol had wished that it lasted longer. Nothing but trouble for him would be the outcome of that meeting and when he had heard Junmyeon telling him they might have found a lead to Light, it had taken him a second to react properly. Fortunately, the elder hadn’t noticed anything which meant that Chanyeol was really good at pretending that he had no problem trusting Junmyeon anymore. 

 

At least those two very quiet days had allowed him to calm himself down and act more naturally around Junmyeon, it had been easier to great him like nothing was wrong when he went to pick him up. The ride to the warehouse owned by Cobra and in which they would have to meet would have been awful if it had happened right after Chanyeol had realized that the way he felt around Junmyeon had changed drastically but fortunately, he was able to keep his attitude casual even as he listened to Junmyeon briefing him about what happened in the last two days.

 

"Nothing much happened unfortunately but Oh Sehun’s men managed to find someone who could give us more information," Junmyeon said as Chanyeol was quietly driving towards the warehouse in the outskirts of the city.

 

Chanyeol had made sure not to contact Junmyeon these past two days and with Jongin not talking to him anymore, there had been basically no way for him to follow this case lately, no one had been there to inform him about the happenings. Therefore, when he heard those words, his breath hitched for a second and his eyes left the road unfolding in front of him to glance at the elder instead. Junmyeon was looking straight forward as well, as if he was having a perfectly casual conversation with Chanyeol, which was true in his case.

 

"Is that so? Who?" Chanyeol asked, focusing back on the road as he continued driving with all the calm he could manage to gather. Who would even be able to give them information on Light? Didn’t Baekhyun work alone? No one even knew anything about him.

 

"One of his regulars, a client who seeks for Light to get rid of business partners and enemies at least once every ten days."

 

"How did you manage to locate him?" Chanyeol asked as dread filled him. They were one step closer to find Baekhyun. 

 

"We didn’t," Junmyeon shook his head and Chanyeol could feel his gaze on his profile. "Cobra found him on their own."

 

"That means they’re really desperate, if they found him before we did," Chanyeol forced a casual chuckle out. 

 

"They are, Light killed another one of their men."

 

At this, Chanyeol couldn’t help but snap his head to look at Junmyeon for two long seconds, surprise and dread glaring at him the same way the headlights of the few cars they met on their way to the warehouse glared at him. He looked back to the road, fleeing Junmyeon’s gaze. His fingers tightened around the wheel and he stepped on the gas pedal a bit harder. 

 

"Who?" he asked once he was sure of being able to control his tone.

 

Why did Baekhyun do that? They had a talk about the first kill and he clearly remembered telling him that it was dangerous and that he should be more careful. It was a stupid thing and Chanyeol had not even imagined that he would do the same thing again. Why? Chanyeol already told him that Cobra was after him as much as Venom now and Baekhyun had simply laughed at that but it was a serious matter, one Chanyeol had thought Baekhyun would put more importance into. Didn’t he know that killing a second member of Cobra would only make everything worse? He didn’t even tell Chanyeol anything about it. His knuckles whitened as he squeezed the wheel harder in his hands, anger igniting in the pit of his stomach.

 

"Another higher up, this time it was someone much closer to Sehun. He went crazy and made everyone work twice as hard until they found a lead with our help."

 

"Why do they think interrogating that client would help? Isn’t Light known for remaining in the shadows even while accepting requests?" he asked, trying to understand exactly what Junmyeon knew about this.

 

"He’s the only lead we have for now and we can’t let it go," the elder replied, tone firm. 

 

A few silent seconds passed after that, Chanyeol tried processing everything and calming the storm of feelings that shattered everything in his mind. He wasn’t even sure whether he was worried for Baekhyun’s safety or angry because the latter was just so careless and stupid, it was almost as if he was doing it on purpose. What if the man actually knew something? What if he’d give enough information for them to locate Baekhyun? What if he even knew something about what was going on between Baekhyun and Chanyeol?

 

"Maybe we’ll even end up finding out that the guy is actually even the one hiring Light to kill Cobra’s men," Chanyeol commented lightly, really hoping that this was the case because then at least, maybe Cobra would stop going after Baekhyun. He did say that he wasn’t doing it for the pleasure anyway, Baekhyun was only hired by someone.

 

"That could happen too," Junmyeon hummed. "We’ll see after making the guy speak. What we know for sure is that Light can’t be working alone, he wouldn’t be able to hide so well if he was on his own."

 

Chanyeol refrained from replying to that and the conversation naturally died down after that, he simply focused on the road  that got darker as they approached the warehouse, simply collecting every bit of information he had gotten in his head and thinking about Junmyeon’s last words. It did make sense, it was impossible for Baekhyun to work alone because no matter how good someone was, it was impossible to hide from both Cobra and Venom for so long without anyone’s help. However, Baekhyun told him that he was working on his own in the early stage of their meeting. Not that Chanyeol could really trust anything Baekhyun would have said then, his sentences were always basically empty and confusing at that time. Moreover, he knew Baekhyun was in contact with someone. He remembered the phone call he had witnessed at the park a few days ago, the mention of a plan. What if that plan had something to do with Cobra? Jongin had also told him that Baekhyun was probably working with a hacker when he had asked him to track his phone number what felt like ages ago but happened only a few months ago.

 

In that case, why didn’t Baekhyun tell him anything about the person he was working with? He had avoided talking about that call and Chanyeol had not insisted. Didn’t he trust Chanyeol? Why was he always hiding things from him? The more Chanyeol got lost in his own trail of thoughts, the bigger the flames of anger dancing around him got. No matter how much he tried figuring everything out, he only arrived to a single conclusion. Everyone was hiding something from him, too many things. He was starting to be fed up with that. He would have to find Baekhyun and set things straight with him when this night would be done.

 

Too lost in his maze of thoughts that got bigger with each passing second, the assassin barely realized that they had arrived.

 

"Let’s go," Junmyeon said once Chanyeol stopped the car before opening the door and slipping out.

 

The younger took a deep breath, calming himself down and willing himself to simply focus on this meeting instead. He didn’t know what would be said exactly but he knew that each word leaving the mouth of Baekhyun’s client was important. He got out of the car as well, easily catching up to Junmyeon and walking alongside him as they headed towards the warehouse, the massive building standing in front of them, a few feet away. A quick glance around was enough for Chanyeol to see that there was only two other cars parked near the warehouse, a black van that probably was used to bring the client here and a more expensive-looking one that almost looked like a shadow in the darkness of the night. Junmyeon and Chanyeol would be the only ones from Venom, the elder had told him earlier that Cobra’s leader didn’t want too many people there and he had settled on bringing Chanyeol instead of Jongdae who was busy with other things. There were probably five men inside, two of Cobra’s members who had brought the client there and the leader himself who was probably accompanied by one of his closest and strongest men, Chanyeol knew he never went around alone and his sole presence was enough for the assassin to know that he took this matter to heart. Chanyeol’s own heart lurched at the thought. 

 

They silently approached the warehouse and he could see that this was not like any of the warehouses that belonged to Venom or that he encountered on various occasions. It was a rather big building that didn’t even have several floors but that spread largely in front of Chanyeol’s eyes and yet, he could tell that this one seemed more important than any other warehouse he had stepped into. Trees were rustling around them, the soft breeze pulling their leaves into a sinister dance, moonlight sweeping between the branches freely since the cold season had taken most of the leaves away. The building was a dirty gray, no one had touched its structures for decades, the wide rusty doors looked almost stuck together, the crack on the walls looked old enough for Chanyeol to know they had not been caused by the loud screams that he knew could be heard from inside often and those broken lines were copied by the weeds that were on the building’s feet, trying to climb up the structure. 

 

It was far from the city without even being placed out of it, a perfect hideout and the right place to use if you wanted to extract information out of someone. The closer they got to the building, the louder Chanyeol’s heartbeat was and he was glad it was too dark for Junmyeon to actually see his expression. However, he took a deep breath. It would be okay, if something happened then at least he’d be able to know it right away and warn Baekhyun about it. This was nothing, he had been through worst situations and he would be able to keep his calm through this as well. 

 

By the time he was done giving himself a pep talk, Junmyeon gestured him with a nod of his head to open the wide doors and Chanyeol moved to do it. However, he knew you never opened this kind of door yourself when people were inside so he simply raised his hand knocked on the door three times, the contact of his knuckles against the door strong and loud, a silence of a whole second between each knock. They only had to wait five seconds for the door to open, a man dressed in black appearing behind the rusty metal. It took two seconds for said man to glance at him and then at Junmyeon while Chanyeol did the same, gaze trailing over the other out of habit and caution. He was shorter than Chanyeol was, hair short, eyebrows furrowed, a scar carved right between his eyebrows in a crooked line that slid down the side of the bridge of his nose, almost meeting his right eye. 

 

Without any words uttered, the man opened the door wider and bowed his head a bit in respect towards Junmyeon. The latter nodded before stepping inside and Chanyeol followed after him as the man guided them through the numerous metal shelves that either held boxes or were empty. There was only a few of those and the place was left rather empty for the best use, therefore it didn’t take long for them to see the client and as they approached, Chanyeol observed him, thinking that he might have seen him before.

 

However, it wasn’t the case. It was his first time seeing the man whose hands and feet were tied as he was placed on a chair, back to the dirty wall of the warehouse. His eyes were wide open and he was looking around him in panic before his gaze fell on Chanyeol and then on Junmyeon which caused the cold panic in his features to spread over even more. He was obviously scared for his life and rightfully so, Chanyeol could see that Cobra’s men had done everything to frighten him, he had a few bruises on his face and there was a thick strip of tape covering his lips and concealing the sobs and pleads that Chanyeol knew would flow out of his mouth as soon as it would be freed. The assassin’s gaze moved to the chair that was in front of the frightened man, only a few feet separating the two chairs. The man was the only one who was sitting, two men standing on either side of him, hands intertwined in front of them in respect. He didn’t need to see his face to know that the man who was sitting was Oh Sehun, Cobra’s leader. His back was turned to Chanyeol but he could see that his hair was short, a bit longer than the hair of the man who had opened the door to them but still rather short and just as black. He was sitting comfortably on the chair, his back straight, his shoulder broad and carrying an air of confidence as he probably looked at the client with intent, never once looking away until the man who had accompanied them there told him that they arrived. Only then did the powerful man turn his head to look over his shoulder for a second before standing up, long limbs moving graciously, in order, with the control of someone who knew how to fight and was ready to do so at any moment. He turned towards them and Chanyeol noted that he was tall, almost the same height as him, dressed in black from head to toe, standing straight, features sharp and veiled with a curtain of blankness that was sewn with delicate strands of danger. His eyes were as dark as pools made out of the ashes of all the people he had probably burned, both through his gaze and the hands of his hundreds of men, and when those dark orbs landed on Chanyeol, the latter _almost_ felt intimidated. Sehun’s aura was as dark and powerful as his reputation made him out to be, without any kind of exaggeration. He was also very handsome but his face was not carved by angels, the Devil himself must have used his claws to do it.

 

Chanyeol stood back, greeting the man with a nod of his head but not approaching him. He was of a much higher rank than Chanyeol and the latter preferred standing a few feet behind the scene in front of him and observing, just like the man who opened the door to them did as he stood near Chanyeol. However, that wasn’t Junmyeon’s case. Anyone would be intimidated to be in a dark warehouse with Cobra’s leader, anyone would feel uncomfortable and weak in front of the man who led the whole city and a major part of the underground world of his country but that didn’t apply to Venom’s leader. On the contrary, Junmyeon walked right to Sehun, a light and polite smile curved on his lips as he looked up at the man who was much taller than him but who didn’t seem to intimidate him the slightest.

 

"Junmyeon," Chanyeol heard Sehun say in an unsurprisingly deep and steady voice while raising his hand a bit to grab Junmyeon’s for a handshake, the latter not even hesitating as he greeted the taller man, as if he had done it dozens of time, which he probably had.

 

Sehun’s expression remained blank as they exchanged a few casual words and Chanyeol was almost awed by this scene, by the way Junmyeon seemed so comfortable. However, it wasn’t even that surprising, Junmyeon might be the leader of an assassin clan that took too many lives but he was also a businessman, a feared assassin himself. He had no reason to shake in fear in front of anyone, especially not when he was almost as powerful as Oh Sehun himself. Their auras were even similar, the only difference was that Junmyeon looked more comfortable, like someone you could talk business with without fearing being stabbed in the back, like someone who never ever lost his cool, like someone who calculated things while smiling at you. That was usually people’s mistake, they always thought Junmyeon was easy and they always ended up surprised when Junmyeon was the victorious one in the end. Maybe that was exactly what made the elder so dangerous.

 

"So this is Light’s regular?" Junmyeon finally asked, nodding towards said man.

 

The atmosphere suddenly changed with that single question, a heavy blanket of tension settling over the wide room and weighing on Chanyeol’s shoulders. The latter crossed his arms over his chest, watching from the side and doing his best to appear casual, blank, calm, anything but worried about what the man could tell them about Baekhyun.

 

"That’s him," Sehun replied, turning to the frightened man who suddenly seemed more agitated when six pairs of eyes settled on him. "And now that you’re here, we can start questioning him. Remove the tape," he ordered, gaze moving to one of his three men.

 

Instantly, the man who was closer to the client moved and did as told, removing the thick strip of tape from the client’s mouth and as expected, sobs and pleads flowed from his mouth.

 

"I don’t have anything to do with this! I-I swear- I don’t- I don’t know anything, please… I didn’t do anything wrong and I swear I don’t-"

 

As the man started pleading, his gaze quickly traveling between every occupants of the room, Chanyeol watched Sehun and caught the way he nodded towards the client, gaze on his own man. Instantly, the man who had removed the tape from the client’s mouth moved to him again and his fist collided with the panicked man’s jaw, effectively shutting him up as he swayed on his chair.

 

"You don’t know what we’re going to ask you so you can’t know whether you can tell me you have the answer to my question or not. This is your first lie, don’t let it happen again."

 

The bruised man stared up at Cobra’s leader with wide, frightened eyes but didn’t make any other sound, by the way his body was trembling violently, Chanyeol knew that he was doing his best to stay quiet and not let out any whimper or sob to avoid getting hit again. That was the smartest thing to do because that single sentence almost sent chills down even Chanyeol’s spine, it was pronounced with the coldest voice he had ever heard, each word devoid of any kind of emotion, not even a threat could be heard. Chanyeol knew from experience that the most heartless people were the most dangerous ones and with that single sentence, he could tell that not only was Sehun heartless, but he was also cunning, a perfect match that explained his high status in this city. 

 

"I’m going to ask questions and you’re going to answer while everyone here listens to you. Is that alright?" Sehun asked, turning to glance at Junmyeon who was standing only a few steps behind him, observing the scene in front of him with his usual calm demeanor. The elder nodded and Sehun turned to the client again, taking a step closer to him as the other cowered on his chair. "Are you going to answer my questions?"

 

"Yes, I- I will," the man’s trembling voice answered.

 

"You’re a regular client of the assassin who goes by the name of Light, am I wrong?" Sehun started asking, towering over the man with his intimidating height. The man only managed to nod silently. "For how long have you been his regular?"

 

"It’s been almost two months," he replied more steadily after taking a deep breath.

 

"How many times did you contact him?" 

 

"I- I don’t remember exactly. I usually seek his services once every ten days, every two weeks at most," the man replied and Chanyeol almost pitied him. He was scared and very miserable-looking.

 

"How do you contact him?" 

 

"I don’t really contact him!" he replied quickly, as if desperate to defend himself. "No one can contact him."

 

That seemed to interest Sehun. "What do you mean?" he asked calmly, showing his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans as he started pacing back and forth in front of the man.

 

"He- He always contact clients first. I have no idea how he does it but… he knows when people need to hire an assassin and he contacts them on his own. He just offers a price and people usually agree," the man replied quickly, gaze following Sehun’s figure as it moved slowly, like a predator simply waiting for his prey to make a mistake. 

 

"So you don’t know how to contact him?"

 

"N-no! I don’t- I swear!"

 

"That doesn’t seem to be true," Junmyeon suddenly spoke, taking a step closer to the man. His eyebrows were furrowed, he was frustrated. "How can he know when someone needs an assassin? You’re a regular so that might be understandable but how does he find clients on his own?"

 

That really seemed unlikely, it would mean that Baekhyun had ears everywhere and that wasn’t plausible when he spent most of his time hiding in the shadows of the city. 

 

"Reply to the question," Sehun’s cold voice snapped in the air like the crack of a whip and the client jumped a bit in his chair before shaking his head in rapid movements.

 

"I- I don’t know! I really- I really don’t know."

 

"How does he contact you?" Sehun asked again and Chanyeol watched as the bruised man suddenly started shaking.

 

"He- I don’t know! He just finds me when I’m alone and gives a price and I accept and then I put the money on a set place as well."

 

"Does he work alone?"

 

"I don’t know, I r-really don’t know!"

 

"Does he work with someone?"

 

"I don’t fucking know!" the client suddenly screamed those words, snapping under the pressure. "I don’t know! How the fuck am I supposed to know that, I’m just a client. Why are you even questioning me, you fucker-"

 

Something suddenly seemed to snap in Sehun and in a  matter of seconds, his features distorted into a frustrated and displeased expression, his long legs took him to the client in two long strides, and one of his hands was suddenly holding a gun while the other wrapped around the client’s neck, fingers digging into his throat. No one moved, Chanyeol simply narrowed his eyes a bit as he watched Sehun lift the client up from his chair only to slam his back against the wall behind him, still using only one hand all the while. The man started pleading and sobbing, shaking his head and letting out gurgled sounds as Sehun’s fingers seemed to tighten around his neck, cutting his breath off slowly. He was silenced when the powerful man suddenly shoved the muzzle of his gun in the shaking man’s mouth. 

 

Chanyeol found himself holding his breath, a shiver crawling down his spine when Sehun spoke, voice as cold and dangerous as shards of ice that pierce through your heart with ease.

 

"There’s only one bullet in this gun. I’m going to pull the trigger until your useless brain explodes. Make yourself useful and reply to my questions properly before dying. Am I understood?" Sehun almost whispered, hushed voice resonating loudly in the wide and half empty room. 

 

A classical method, putting pressure on the person you’re going to interrogate until they snap and spill everything they know.

 

However, the man didn’t seem to be able to reply, only whimpering as his eyes widened. Not that he would be able to give a proper reply, the muzzle of the gun in his mouth made him unable to actually speak. 

 

Sehun didn’t seem to mind that, he waited no more than two seconds before his finger tightened over the trigger, the client’s eyes widening even more. A click echoed when the trigger was pulled, empty of any bullets. A groan of fear wrapped around the click of the empty gun, sobs following out of the client’s mouth.

 

"Am I understood?" Sehun hissed, words dripping with venom, clear and articulated with a blinding anger.

 

The man nodded furiously, whimpering in fear.

 

"What did you just call me? Since when do disgusting insects have the right to talk this way to me? I could have you dying over the course of a long week, I could have my men break each of your pathetic bones one by one. Is that what you want?"

 

The only thing the man could do was sob harder at those words, probably knowing that a single mistake could result in such a painful and agonizing death. However, Sehun didn’t like this reaction. He pushed the muzzle of the gun harder into the man’s mouth, pulling the trigger without hesitating.

 

"Is that what you want?" he asked again, his loud and anger-filled voice almost drowning out the click of the empty gun.

 

The client immediately whimpered, shaking his head as he tried speaking around the muzzle, probably trying to form an apology. Chanyeol’s heartbeat accelerated, he almost felt as if he was the one who could be shot at any moment.

 

"Does Light work with someone?" Sehun asked, without leaving the client any time to calm down.

 

The man still hesitated for a split second. It was too much, another click echoed around them as Sehun pulled the trigger for the third time. The man’s scream was what almost drowned it out this time. Immediately, he nodded.

 

Chanyeol gulped at the information, tightening his hands into fists.

 

"Who?" 

 

Silence. The whimpering man shook his head. He didn’t seem to know. A gurgled sound escaped him when Sehun tightened his fingers around his neck. He pulled the trigger once again.

 

"Are you sure of that?"

 

Tears and drool mixed all over the man’s face as he nodded again.

 

"Who hired Light to kill Cobra’s men?"

 

The man shook his head again, almost before Sehun was done with his sentence. The taller pulled the trigger again. The man slid down the wall a bit as he continuously shook his head, eyes squeezed shut as he tried pleading Sehun to convince him that he didn’t know. The latter pulled him up properly again, gurgled coughs leaving the client’s mouth as the fingers around his neck dug into his skin more.

 

Chanyeol glanced to his right, feeling something heavy weighing down on his profile. He met Junmyeon’s dark, calm gaze before fleeing it and looking at Sehun again when he asked yet another question.

 

"What’s Light’s real name? Do you know it?"

 

Silence.

 

Chanyeol felt his heart jump in his ribcage, as if trying to flee this place, as if telling him he should do the same.

 

The gun clicked.

 

The client shook his head, weakly, not breathing enough anymore. 

 

Silence. 

 

The gun clicked. A scream followed it. Once again, a louder scream, it clicked another time, followed by another click and an even louder scream that was drowned out and suddenly cut when the trigger was pulled again and a loud gunshot surprised everyone, piercing a hole through the heavy atmosphere shrouding the warehouse. 

 

The body fell to the ground with a loud thump, lifeless. All it would leave behind was a red stain on the floor. Sehun turned to them again, a few scarlet drops were staining the fair skin of his cheeks and chin but he only looked frustrated at the lack of information they had been met with. He looked at Junmyeon once before extending his arm to the side.

 

"Get rid of the body," he ordered as his man took the gun from his hand.

 

His long legs took him to Junmyeon, feet sliding on the floor with ease, comfortably, slowly, like a snake that was slowly creeping up to its prey, calculating, cunning, _lethal._ However, he simply uttered a few words to Junmyeon, calmly, expression slipping back into his earlier blankness. Junmyeon was calm, his voice steady, firm. 

 

Chanyeol didn’t know what they were saying, he could hear them but he couldn’t listen to them. He let out a shaky breath as his gaze fell on the lifeless body on the ground. A thought resonated in his head, as loud as the gunshot that he could still almost hear.

 

It could have been him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The night breeze slapped Chanyeol in the face no more than ten minutes later when he and Junmyeon got out of the warehouse, Sehun and one of his men on their toes. The wind helped him get a grip of himself and he took a deep breath, trying to shake the guilt away from his mind as he remembered the way the client had been questioned. It could have been him, it might have been him if Jongin had told Junmyeon everything about Baekhyun two days ago and the thought sent chills down his spine. He wouldn’t have been spared just because he was close to Junmyeon and the latter would only deem Chanyeol’s actions as betrayal, nothing less. His stomach churned at the thought. This was so wrong, so wrong, and he shouldn’t do that. 

 

Before he could delve on more regrets and fears, he felt someone pat his shoulder and as he turned to his side, Junmyeon’s smile welcomed him.

 

"I’m going to follow Sehun to discuss what happened tonight and plan what we’re going to do next," he informed Chanyeol, pulling his hand away. "You can go home on your own, they’ll drive me to my house afterwards."

 

"Are you sure that’s safe?" Chanyeol frowned, glancing at Sehun who waited for his man to open the back door for him to get in.

 

"Of course, we’re allies, Chanyeol," Junmyeon chuckled softly.

 

"Alright then," he nodded. "What’s going to happen now though? We didn’t get much information," he then asked, trying to appear as casual as possible.

 

"We at least know Light’s not working on his own now," Junmyeon shrugged and Chanyeol did his best not to frown at this. "If he’s really the one killing Cobra’s members, then we’ll have to catch him. If it turns out that he’s not then I guess Cobra will let it go but for now, nothing tells us that it’s not him."

 

Chanyeol wanted to ask if there was really something that told them it _was_ Light’s doings but he already knew where that would lead him so he kept his mouth shut.

 

"See you later then, boss," he smiled at Junmyeon.

 

The elder returned it, patting Chanyeol’s shoulder before walking to Sehun’s car where the same man who opened the door to the latter was waiting for him, holding the other door open as well. He closed it once Junmyeon got in and slid into the driver’s seat. Chanyeol watched the car drive away, waiting for it to disappear from his sight before turning on his heels and heading towards his own car instead, a deep sigh leaving his lips, breath turning into delicate white curls in the cold air. 

 

Only once he was in the confines of his car did he rest his hands on the wheel before letting his head drop on it, letting out a groan of frustration, a long and loud one that released only an ounce of all the anger and frustration locked in him. He hated this. He hated it. He could feel anger dragging him down, swirling him around, and he hated it.

 

The only thing that he managed to conclude from this night and everything the now dead man had told them was that Baekhyun was hiding too many things from him. Who was he working with? Why was he hiding it from Chanyeol? Why did he really kill Cobra’s members? Why was he hiding so many things from Chanyeol? There were too many questions, too many confusing thoughts and happenings and Chanyeol hated it. This was too dangerous. Didn’t he know that already? He did, he did know that whatever was going between Baekhyun and him might cost him a lot of things if people were to find out but somehow, seeing Baekhyun’s client die like that only made him realize one thing. It could have been _him._ Sehun was merciless, Junmyeon was too. He hated betrayal and if he were to find out… Chanyeol’s fist collided with the wheel in frustration and despair. He didn’t want to think about it.

 

However, the worst of all of this was that the next thought that followed that first one was that if he were to die like that, it would have been worth it because at least he would have kept Baekhyun safe. He could deal with that. At least, he thought that he could because he had protected Baekhyun his whole life, he had kept weak, small, fragile Baekhyun safe in their childhood and he would do it now too. But was it really worth it? Was it really worth it when Baekhyun didn’t even tell him anything about this while knowing how bad everything could turn out for Chanyeol if Junmyeon or worse, Sehun were to find out the link that tied them together? Was it really worth it when all Chanyeol had were a few blurry memories that Baekhyun rarely even explained to him? Was it really worth it when Baekhyun could go for days without contacting him at all while Chanyeol’s insides were eating him up at the thought that something might have happened to Baekhyun while he was not there to protect him? Why did he even feel like he could do that? Was it worth it?

 

A voice in his head told him that no, it definitely wasn’t worth it. Oddly, that voice sounded like Junmyeon’s or Jongin’s. It was not worth it. However, as he reminisced their memories, all the time they spent together, the taste of Baekhyun’s lips, his alluring scent, and the shape of his smile, Chanyeol’s chest clenched, as if to tell him that it was worth it. Maybe it was.

 

He didn’t know. He had no idea and he didn’t want to think about it. None of this was familiar. He had never felt such things before, he had never felt this kind of emotion before, he had always only had to pull the trigger, get the money, and hang out with his friends. This was too unfamiliar and Chanyeol didn’t want to think about it anymore. 

 

In a blur of movements, he started the car, turned the radio on, turned the volume up loud enough for him not to hear anything else, and started driving off. He didn’t know where he was going, he had no destination in mind, he just wanted to be away from this, he had never asked for this and it was all Baekhyun’s fault but Chanyeol hated himself because he couldn’t even properly blame him.   Instead, he drove. Away from the warehouse and its gloomy trees, away from the lifeless body that was still inside when he had left, away from the thought that it could have been him, the mainstream music coming from the radio pounding in his ears.

 

He didn’t want to think about it. He wanted to be alone, he wanted to be in a place where he could be himself, without anyone else being here, without lying to anyone and hiding things. He wanted to be somewhere silent because for the first time in his life, Chanyeol craved silence and solitude. He drove for almost an hour without ever stopping, speeding along the highway, getting further away from the city only to get closer to it again when he took a turn. He had nowhere to go. So he drove, faster, ruthlessly, only listening to the lyrics screamed out by the singer on the radio. He had nowhere to go.

 

And yet, when the car stopped an hour later, Chanyeol found himself looking at yet another warehouse, gloomy trees surrounding him again. However, it wasn’t the same building, it wasn’t the same trees, and the feeling he got as he looked at the warehouse wasn’t the same either. He felt calmer as he sat in his car and looked in front of him at the place where everything really started taking a bad turn, the place where Baekhyun pulled him into a lethal storm and into his comforting embrace for the first time, the place that had witnessed their first union and their first sighs of pleasure, the place where they used to live in when they were two lost children with no one but each other.

 

He didn’t even know why he had ended up here. Maybe because this was the place where everything had really started, both in the past when he had asked Baekhyun to live with him in this warehouse, according to the latter, and a few months ago when Baekhyun had first admitted being from Chanyeol’s past. It had been his first moment of weakness. Maybe this place was special for Chanyeol now. There would be no one, it would be empty and silent. He wanted to lock himself here for a while and avoid everything, even Baekhyun. Would Baekhyun come and find him here? Would it show him that it was worth it if he did?

 

Shaking his head, Chanyeol stopped the car, the radio shutting off when he opened the door, and got out of it. His long strides were confident as he walked towards the warehouse, he wanted to be there, he knew it would calm him down. He opened the door without hesitation, easily, it was barely even actually closed and he frowned at it but nothing was surprising about that, it was a miracle the  door was still decent and not as rusty as many doors he had seen before. He stepped in and it was dark, the lights had been flickering last time he had been here and it was no different this time. The lights were on which was surprising, Baekhyun had been there the last time so he might have turned them on but this time, there was supposed to be no one. However, he didn’t put it much importance  when the light flickered off and instead looked around him carefully, it seemed empty for now. Just to be safe, he still brought his hand up to rest on the gun hidden against his waist, ready to use it if needed.

 

With ease, Chanyeol guided himself through the metallic shelves that held boxes and a bunch of things he didn’t pay attention to because it didn't matter, he wanted to be alone here and he already felt himself relax as he walked to the corner of the warehouse where he knew the old mattress would be. He had found it naturally last time and this time was no different, he walked there out of habit, guided by memories he didn’t remember but that were engraved in his mind and body nonetheless. The lights flickered on again but he wasn’t startled, he continued, just like he did  last time, until he could see the old and dirty mattress on the floor. He stopped between two shelves and looked in front of him.

 

Baekhyun was there. The lights flickered off and the moonlight was the only thing highlighting his beautiful features, just like the last time he had been here.

 

However, the last time they had both been here, there hadn’t been a third person with them. The last time they had been here together, Baekhyun hadn’t been smiling at a stranger, he hadn’t been talking to him with a hushed voice, he hadn’t been letting the same stranger ruffle his hair.

 

The last time they had been here, Chanyeol hadn’t felt flames of anger suffocate him and fill his chest with dark, thick, and painful waves of smoke as he watched Baekhyun embrace a stranger tightly into his arms.

 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Anger was not something Chanyeol had the habit of associating with himself, it was a feeling that you shouldn’t really arbor if you were supposed to be a cold-blooded assassin who had to stay calm in the trickiest situations and feelings were not even something that were recommended in his field of work. Anger was something that, if he were to think about it, he would associate with Minseok who could destroy a victim in the most agressive ways possible in a fit of rage or with Junmyeon who couldn’t help but show signs of it whenever business was getting tricky and irritating. Anger was something that Chanyeol didn’t usually feel and even if he did, it would only be something poking the back of his mind, something that he could ignore depending on the context. However, at this moment, anger was something that slowly wrapped all around Chanyeol, trapping him between the flames that kept licking up his skin, hissing like a snake right into his ears, coats of dark smoke clouding his mind as threateningly as summer storms that hovered in the sky after the hottest days of the year.

 

Was it really anger? Chanyeol wasn’t sure but if there was something that he knew, it was that anger wasn’t supposed to _hurt_. He felt suffocated as if his heart was turning into ashes in the agonizing pace in which a fire could erase a whole forest from a map. The more he looked at the scene unfolding in front of him, the more he felt as if his whole existence was being annihilated by the thoughts that crashed around in his skull, as if desperate to escape the untamable fire that was spreading through his whole being.

 

Why was Baekhyun acting so affectionately with someone else in _their_ special place? Why was he laughing as the stranger frowned at him with his bushy eyebrows, his wide eyes filled with something that Chanyeol didn’t even want to name. Affection? Fondness? Worry? He wasn’t sure but no one was supposed to feel such things for Baekhyun who seemed to bask in it, as if he was used to the other looking at him this way as they went on with their conversation, oblivious to the fire that Chanyeol had a hard time controlling and that threatened the two other more than Chanyeol himself. 

 

They seemed to be arguing, or rather the stranger was arguing with Baekhyun who simply brushed him off with his beautiful smile and what were probably sweet words. Chanyeol didn’t know, he couldn’t hear them, he couldn’t pay attention to anything else but the way Baekhyun was acting with the stranger, all kinds of thoughts forming in his head, ticking like dozens of bombs ready to murder their victims. Who was he? Why was Baekhyun acting this way with him? Why was Baekhyun smiling at someone other than Chanyeol when it had been days since they had last seen each other and Chanyeol had spent every minute apart from Baekhyun worrying about the latter? Who was he? Why did Baekhyun bring him here of all places? Suddenly, the voices in his head turned to Junmyeon’s, Jongin’s, and they screamed at him that everything was a mistake. He trusted Baekhyun, he trusted him too much, he had never questioned him too much, Chanyeol always stopped before breaching the boundaries that Baekhyun was set on keeping between them. Chanyeol did all of that, for what? Only to find Baekhyun in _their_ special place, smiling at someone else while Chanyeol was risking to die for him, _because_ of him.

 

As if Baekhyun could hear his thoughts, he laughed a bit louder in reaction to something the stranger told him before the latter shushed him, frowning harder. Baekhyun stepped closer to him before wrapping his arms around his shoulders, embracing him as if he had done it hundreds of times before and it was a natural thing to do. Maybe it was. He embraced him with a beautiful smile, the curve of his lips bright, free, and filled with a feeling of trust that showed how familiar they were with each other. Baekhyun never smiled at Chanyeol that way. They didn’t even notice Chanyeol, they were too engrossed into each other.

 

Suddenly, it was too much. The flames grew too tall and Chanyeol could feel his own anger swallowing him, burning a part of his soul and turning his heart into ashes as realizations dawned upon him, suffocating him, cutting his breathe enough for his chest to heave up and down in a fast pace. He parted his lips, as if to cough, as if it to inhale as much air as he could but only a single word escaped him, one filled with anger, pain, and a powerful venom that spread through his own veins.

 

"Baekhyun."

 

He couldn’t even hear his own voice at first, only noting how hoarse and thick with anger he had sounded once he was done speaking and that single name echoed in the mostly empty warehouse. Instantly, the two men in front of him turned to him and as soon as Baekhyun’s eyes landed on him, the smile that had been sparkling in his dark orbs was wiped away by a look of surprise before he looked at the stranger with wide eyes. The latter didn’t even spare him a glance and simply looked back at Chanyeol who felt his own eyes burning with the force of his own glare as he couldn’t even look away from the stranger. He was short, the same height as Baekhyun, but just like that latter, he didn’t look weak at all. The urge to wrap his fingers around his neck and squeeze as hard as he could was strong but before Chanyeol could even do anything, the stranger turned around and walked away or rather _ran_ away. It was an odd reaction but Chanyeol couldn’t even question it properly, head burning up, his whole body trembling like a leaf giving its last breath of life away before getting consumed by flames. 

 

His gaze settled back on Baekhyun now that they were alone and for once, the latter didn’t seem to have anything witty or infuriating to say. He only stepped towards Chanyeol, slowly, not like a predator watching over his prey’s every movement but warily, as if he was the prey that could get chased at any moment.

 

"What are you doing here, Chanyeol?"

 

Had it been any other day, Chanyeol would have automatically replied, he would have told Baekhyun everything he wanted to know. Had it been any other day, Chanyeol would be the one asking that question and Baekhyun would have ignored it in favor of distracting him, with cryptic but beautiful words or a brush of his lips against Chanyeol’s. However, this wasn’t an usual day and Chanyeol wasn’t feeling like himself either. He felt consumed by too many things at once and he was slipping away.

 

"Who was that?" he asked instead of replying and by the way Baekhyun flinched, he could tell that the latter wasn’t used to hearing this tone, Chanyeol’s voice crackling in the air like thunder.

 

Silence was Baekhyun’s only reply and he waited two seconds before stepping closer to Chanyeol until he could stand in front of him, feet sliding on the floor warily, as if he was ready to leap away if Chanyeol were to hurt him. Did he think Chanyeol would hurt him? Chanyeol wasn’t the one igniting the pain in this relationship. Relationship? Friendship? He didn’t even know what to call what they had and somehow, that only fueled his anger.

 

"Did you come here hoping to find me? Did you miss me already? It’s only been two days." Baekhyun said softly, voice taking on a soothing lilt as if he wanted to tame Chanyeol’s flames by whispering a lullaby into the air. 

 

His lips were curved into his usual beautiful smile, the one that hid something wicked, the one that Chanyeol always lost against. His arms somehow snaked around Chanyeol’s neck, his fingers gently dancing over his nape. This had happened so many times before and Chanyeol knew what Baekhyun was trying to do. He was trying to distract Chanyeol with his touch, he wanted to make him forget every thought that lurched at the back of his mind and slowly crept forward, he wanted to take control of the situation, as always. Had this been any other day, Chanyeol would have given in, he would have pressed his lips against Baekhyun’s and marked his addictive taste into his mind. It would have been so easy for Baekhyun to make Chanyeol give in, because he knew just what to do in order to win the game they had been playing since day one.

 

However, each time Chanyeol blinked, the back of his eyelids burned with the image of Baekhyun basking in the embrace of the stranger from earlier. He felt suffocated by Baekhyun’s hold and pushed him away, ripping his arm off his neck and looking down at him as the voices in his head got louder with each passing second. Baekhyun’s smile was wiped away with the movement and he took a step back, giving up easily.

 

"Who was that, Baekhyun?" he repeated his question, emphasizing each word that resonated between the warehouse’s dirty walls. _Their_ special place.

 

"No one you need to know about, Chanyeol," Baekhyun replied, tugging the corner of his lips up into a light smile. Chanyeol could see in his eyes that he was aware of the way everything between them was crumbling down and yet, he continued acting as if he had victory grasped between his fingers, as if everything was going according to a plan that he had laid out in his mind months ago.

 

A plan. What if all of this was a plan? Chanyeol remembered him talking about a plan on the phone with someone the day they met in that abandoned park for the first time. He had said that _everything was going according to the plan._ Chanyeol clearly remembered those words and the way Baekhyun had brushed him off when he had asked about it. Jongin’s words echoed in his words. He had said Baekhyun might be manipulating him. The kisses, the gentle touches, the whispered words that made Chanyeol forget everything but Baekhyun whenever they were together. Chanyeol had a hard time breathing because of his own thoughts and the scene he had just witnessed and Baekhyun looked nothing but calm. It might be a façade, it was probably one because Chanyeol could see the glint of panic in his eyes as he sized Chanyeol up but what was that feeling for? Because he couldn’t control Chanyeol anymore?

 

"If it’s someone I don’t need to know about, someone unimportant, then why did you bring him here?" Chanyeol asked through gritted teeth, tightening his hands into fists, digging his fingers into his palm harder in order to be kept grounded by the sting of his skin getting a little torn apart. He needed to focus on the situation instead of on the way Baekhyun looked so beautiful and fragile even now.

 

Baekhyun remained silent for a few seconds. "Chanyeol, listen, it’s not-"

 

"Why?" the taller cut him off, voice thundering in the warehouse. Baekhyun flinched but Chanyeol took a deep breath. "Why did you bring that man here, Baekhyun? Isn’t this _our_ special place?" he asked loudly and it sounded so stupid, so childish, but it hurt.

 

"It is, Chanyeol-ah," Baekhyun replied, his jaw clenching and unclenching in what Chanyeol supposed was nervousness. 

 

"Then why? What are you doing here with someone else? What were you doing?" he fired without waiting for Baekhyun to say anything else, each word slicing through the air like bullets finding their targets without any hesitation, the accusation in his voice echoing like the sound of a gunshot. He needed answers and he needed them as quickly as possible. 

 

"Watch your tone, Chanyeol," Baekhyun hissed, words low but dripping with poison. Chanyeol felt each drop of it landing into the fire ignited inside of him, fueling the flames that danced around threateningly and grew bigger, stronger, burning his insides.

 

"Why the fuck should I do that when I just saw you throwing yourself at another man so easily in _our_ place," Chanyeol retorted. "This isn’t one of your stupid games, Baekhyun, you don’t get to talk yourself out of it this time. Who was that? Why was he here and what were you talking about? Reply to me now."

 

He was tired. Tired of rewinding each warning he had gotten about Baekhyun in his head, tired of reaching the conclusion that it did make sense, that maybe, just maybe everyone else was right and he was just a stupid victim trapped in Baekhyun’s poisonous games. 

 

"You have no right to question me," was the only thing Baekhyun replied and Chanyeol  had expected it but it didn’t lessen the sting he felt in his chest.

 

"Damnit, Baekhyun," he groaned, suffocated by his own anger. Even in this situation, Baekhyun refused to answer. "I have the right to question you if I just found you in this place with some other guy. What were you planning to do? Were you going to fuck him here as well? Do you do that with everyone you meet?" The words escaped Chanyeol and he could barely register them, finally snapping after trying to contain himself for so long. 

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun warned him through gritted teeth, gaze darkening as he slowly seemed to be getting angry as well.

 

"You never tell me anything, Baekhyun!" Chanyeol raised his voice, stepping closer to Baekhyun, as if his presence could force the other to say something. "You hide everything from me, you keep distracting me with stupid things. I don’t even know what you want from me, what’s your real intention?" he asked, finally letting out the thoughts that had been pooling at the back of his mind since  he had seen the lifeless body that they had left at the warehouse.

 

"What the hell are you trying to say, Chanyeol?!" Baekhyun raised his voice as well and Chanyeol almost felt victorious for finally being able to get a real reaction out of the other. Almost.

 

"I don’t know, Baekhyun! I don’t fucking know, what all this is, what we’re doing, what we are," he spat out, fueled by his anger, hands gesturing between them both wildly.

 

"Chanyeol," the shorter hissed, shaking his head. "We’re childhood friends, we lived together, we _survived_ together. Then we got lost and found each other again," Baekhyun said urgently, an irritated frown tugging his eyebrows down. 

 

"I’m not sure," Chanyeol snorted in distaste, voice cold, a complete contrast to the flames that were enveloping him in a painful cocoon.

 

Baekhyun quietened down at that, surprise filling his dark orbs before something that Chanyeol had never seen on him took over, something that oddly looked similar to the glint of fear in a target’s eyes before Chanyeol took their life away from a close range.

 

"What?" was all Baekhyun could say after a few silent seconds during which Chanyeol noticed that he was almost breathless from yelling at Baekhyun and trying to control himself. Suddenly, nothing of the lethal predator was left in him, only the weak reflection of someone who had heard something unexpected that affected them greatly or hurt them. Chanyeol’s heart clenched but he knew that compared to what he was feeling, Baekhyun’s pain was nothing.

 

"I don’t know, Baekhyun. I don’t have any memories of whatever you’re telling me, remember?" he chuckled, the sound coming of dry and bitter. "Whatever you tell me whenever you even accept doing so, I don’t remember it. I can’t know whether you’re telling the truth, modifying events that happened, or if you’re just fooling me and dragging me into a stupid game that you think you’ve already won." He wasn’t even lying, it was true. There was no way for him to even know Baekhyun hadn’t been lying to him all along. He remembered some things but some of those memories were blurry and didn’t even match each other, Baekhyun could just be twisting things.

 

Baekhyun didn’t seem to appreciate his words. "Do you even hear yourself? Why the hell would I bother lying about all of that, are you insane?" Baekhyun raised his voice louder, his glare burning holes through Chanyeol’s body, the ones on his chest especially prominent. "If you didn’t forget me, you’d know everything," were the accusing words that acted as the last straw.

 

How did Baekhyun even have the nerve to blame him for something he didn’t even know about until a few months ago? How could he put all the blame on Chanyeol?

 

"You’re not helping me remember, Baekhyun," Chanyeol’s voice boomed against the walls as he stepped even closer to Baekhyun, until he could feel the shorter’s furious breath burn his skin. "You never tell me anything, you hide so many things from me. I barely even know who you are! You either only give me half-assed explanations or you plainly refuse to tell me anything. What are you hiding? What are you trying to do?! Does it amuse you? Playing with me, having that grasp over me because of a few kisses and stupid memories that may not even be real? Were you laughing with that guy behind my back? Were you planning to fuck him on this mattress too?" he fired, barely even stopping to take a breath, hand gesturing to the dirty mattress on the floor, the one they had been laying on the first time they had been here. "I don’t even know what happened, if you’re trying to help me remember or if you’re just trying to destroy me. I don’t know why I forgot you or if forgetting you was even actually a bad thing because ever since we met, I’m constantly risking things, Baekhyun, for you. And what are you doing? You’re probably only laughing behind my back while plotting my end! Maybe Junmyeon hyung or even Jongin are right. Maybe forgetting you was actually a good thing-" 

 

Before his last word was even fully formed, Chanyeol found himself unable to continue throwing every accusation he thought about at Baekhyun’s face when the latter’s fist collided with his jaw in a blur of movements, the pain on his face barely noticeable since all he could focus on was the way this single gesture triggered something in him, something ugly that he didn’t think he would ever have to unleash on Baekhyun. However, the other seemed to always know how to push each and every one of Chanyeol’s buttons properly and in a matter of seconds, Chanyeol retaliated, his hand shooting up to wrap around Baekhyun’s throat. 

 

"How the hell can you say that?!" Baekhyun spat out at him, voice loud and filled with emotion despite the difficulty with which his words were uttered. 

 

Even now, glaring at Chanyeol harder than ever, flames of anger, hatred, and pain swimming in his dark orbs that were partially hidden beneath the stray strands of air that were long enough to cover his eyes, Baekhyun looked stunning. Chanyeol’s breath caught up in his throat but for once, it wasn’t because Baekhyun was the most beautiful thing Chanyeol had ever laid his eyes upon. Baekhyun had attacked him, something that he hadn’t done since they settled on the fact that they had a common past, they hadn’t actually fought since that very first day on the rooftop of a tall building in this unforgiving city. Chanyeol finally managed to break through his façade and yet, he didn’t know how he felt about it, he didn’t like the way Baekhyun was looking at him, as if he wanted to suck the life out of him right this instant. Did his words really affect him that much? Did Chanyeol really want to fight him? He didn’t want to hurt him, he didn’t want to hurt small, weak, fragile Baekhyun whom he had protected for years. However, that Baekhyun might be a lie and the Baekhyun in front of him was anything but small, weak, and fragile. He was smart, cunning, dangerous, and he could have been manipulating Chanyeol since the start.

 

Before he even had time to dwell on the hatred that hit him as hard as the flaming hot air surrounding a building that was crumbling down into ashes, Baekhyun took advantage of Chanyeol’s already loose grip around his neck and his distracted state to bend his leg, throwing his folded leg up until his knee sank into Chanyeol’s guts, his fist then colliding with his jaw again as Chanyeol bent forward a bit in pain. Baekhyun escaped from his grip and Chanyeol didn’t want to hurt him, he really didn’t want to but why? Baekhyun was hurting him, both physically and mentally, and in that moment, he really wished Baekhyun would feel as much pain as he did.

 

Therefore, he tried not to hold himself back, lurching himself at Baekhyun, curling his hand into a tight fist that he threw at Baekhyun face but the later avoided it, his hand closing around the taller’s wrist instead before he twisted his arm, twisting Chanyeol’s against his back as well. The latter winced in pain but he was blinded by rage and he gave his all to this fight and in a blur of movements that he barely registered himself, he fought against the pain and used his taller and heavier stature to throw his head back despite knowing that because of his height, it would barely even touch Baekhyun. It still was a good way to make Baekhyun lose his balance though and he threw his free arm backwards, his elbows digging into Baekhyun’s chest. He barely even heard a sound of pain, only a groan of anger before he turned around and Baekhyun lunged at him again, beautiful features distorted by rage and pain as he aimed for Chanyeol’s face with his fist again. However, Chanyeol felt it coming and avoided it before bringing his leg up, the sole of his foot pressing against Baekhyun’s chest to push him away, taking advantage of his loss of balance to finally land a punch on his beautiful face. He almost felt the pain on his own face, realizing what he had done only a second after Baekhyun crumbled to the floor under Chanyeol’s strength. Hurting Baekhyun was painful and he hated it but he needed it, if Chanyeol was fire then Baekhyun was gasoline and they had been inches away from each other for too long without damaging anything, it had been too long and the first spark had been doomed to ignite a violent fire a long time ago.

 

Chanyeol’s chest was heaving up and down as he looked down at Baekhyun who spat out the blood that had gathered in his mouth, dark gaze throwing daggers at Chanyeol again. No one said anything, they just looked at each other for no more than two silent seconds before Chanyeol suddenly found himself on the floor when Baekhyun swiped his leg on the ground, feet colliding with Chanyeol’s calve in a strong movement and destroying his balance. Before he had the occasion to retaliate, Baekhyun mounted him, locking him in place by digging his knees on the floor at each side of Chanyeol’s hips, his fist crashing against Chanyeol’s nose.

 

However, it was weak and the scene was painfully familiar but this time, it was much more painful, frustrating, and devastating. Baekhyun didn’t even defend himself, he hadn’t even said anything to prove Chanyeol he was wrong on everything he had said earlier and it was frustrating, enough for Chanyeol to catch Baekhyun’s wrists, gripping them tightly. Baekhyun was better than that, he fought better than this and Chanyeol knew it, he did too, but they were both fighting out of frustration, not with the intend to win or kill a target, their movements sloppy, heavy with emotion. Chanyeol threw Baekhyun off him, bucking his hips up and using his arms as well only to land on top of the shorter again, trying to restrain him but without any success  because he didn’t want to hurt Baekhyun and he was only contradicting himself but he couldn’t, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do, he didn’t know what he should have done instead of this.

 

Before he could properly restrain Baekhyun, he found his back crashing against the ground again, Baekhyun on top of him again. However, he didn’t feel any kind of pain, only something cold, icy, and thin pressing against the skin of his neck. The blade of a dagger. Baekhyun had once again a dagger in his hand but this time it wasn’t piercing through Chanyeol’s body, it was only pressing against his jugular, threatening to dig the life out of him. Everything had been a blur and he shouldn’t even be surprised, Baekhyun seemed to always be hiding useful weapons under his clothes. He froze, lips parted to make way for his heavy breathing, wide eyes staring up at Baekhyun whose chest pressed against his with each short and quick intake of breath.

 

For the first time since the first punch had landed on his own face, Chanyeol took a proper look at Baekhyun and he felt as if the dagger the shorter held in his hand was stabbing him in the heart at what he saw. Baekhyun’s lower lip was split but he didn’t really look too bruised, Chanyeol had taken most of the hits in this fight. However, the only thing Chanyeol could really see was the way Baekhyun’s dark orbs were glistening with unshed tears that seemed to have tamed the flames of anger that has been dancing in them only a few seconds ago. The only thing Chanyeol could now recognize in those eyes was the same glint Baekhyun had looked at him with when he had won their first fight that day on the rooftop. Now, Chanyeol was able to put a name on it. Sorrow. Baekhyun was looking at him with waves of sorrow crashing around in the endlessly mysterious ocean that were his eyes and Chanyeol felt himself drowning.

 

Why? Why was he looking at him this way? Hadn’t this been Baekhyun’s plan all along? Didn’t he want to destroy Chanyeol? It would be so easy now, Chanyeol didn’t even have any will to fight left. It would be so easy to slice his throat open now so why was Baekhyun only studying his face, as if taking in all the bruises that he had painted on Chanyeol’s face himself? 

 

He pressed the blade harder against Chanyeol’s neck and the latter kept looking at him in silence. Baekhyun hadn’t changed. Chanyeol had seen him crying once in a memory, a dream of Baekhyun running to him to check on his injuries after Chanyeol had gotten a beating instead of him. His eyes had been filled with sorrow, guilt, and pain at that moment, his lower lip had been trembling a bit as if he didn’t know what to say. Just like it was the case now.

 

"That’s what you would deserve for forgetting me, Chanyeol," Baekhyun’s small, trembling voice finally cut through the thick silence, filled with so much pain, so much sorrow that Chanyeol felt his soul trembling when it reached him. "And for disrespecting my most precious memories by talking about them that way. I’m not doing anything wrong or that would hurt you. Whatever I’m doing, I’m doing it for you, for you to remember me and be mine again. But you just… You just-"

 

A single tear rolled down Baekhyun’s cheek, sealing his lips shut and keeping him from completing his sentence. Suddenly, the icy breath of the blade left his skin but Chanyeol felt each of his words slicing through his heart, the sight of a few more tears escaping Baekhyun’s beautiful eyes pressing salt onto the wound before the other scrambled away from Chanyeol who remained frozen in his place. He heard quick footsteps, the loud sound of a heavy door opening and shutting before the only thing left in the warehouse was the echo of Baekhyun’s words. 

 

He couldn’t even find the strength to get up from the dirty floor and simply looked up, the flickering lights hurting his eyes a bit though that was the last thing he could focus on at the moment. The scene had been so familiar, Chanyeol had heard those words before.

 

_"You deserved this, Chanyeol."_

 

Those were the words that Baekhyun had uttered to him with the same sorrowful glint in his eyes right after stabbing him and before kissing him that very first day. He used those words again a few seconds ago, almost stabbing him again. 

 

_"That’s what you would deserve for forgetting me, Chanyeol."_

 

The same words. It must have the same meaning. It was uttered with the same emotion, Chanyeol remembered it clearly. Baekhyun felt this way since the very first day, he had been drowning in this sorrow since the day Chanyeol hadn’t even recognized him. How long had it been? Chanyeol didn’t remember Baekhyun and despite what anger drove him to say earlier, the few memories he had felt realer than anything Chanyeol had encountered in his life, which meant that Baekhyun had spent _years_ locked in the sorrow of Chanyeol forgetting him.

 

Why had Chanyeol even reacted this way? Why did he say all those things? He had been driven than something ugly, a feeling he had never found in himself before, something worse than anger, something more painful than rage. And he already started regretting it deeply.

 

Flames of anger had consumed him earlier, fueled by anything Baekhyun could have said or done, but the fire was tamed now and the only thing that remained was the ashes it left behind. He was tired. Baekhyun was gone now, his words still echoing in Chanyeol’s head, his tear-stricken face appearing in his mind each time Chanyeol blinked. The lights flickered off and he was left alone in the dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unable to think about anything else but their fight, Chanyeol stayed in that warehouse for what felt like hours, rewinding his fight with Baekhyun dozens of times in his head and wondering what he should think about it, what conclusions he should take out of it. Should he believe the words uttered by Baekhyun in a broken voice or should he believe what he had seen in that warehouse and the warnings given to him by people who had been with him for a major part of his life? Baekhyun hadn’t explained anything, he had just been angered by Chanyeol’s words, he had just shown how much they hurt him, but he hadn’t actually explained anything. However, for once, Chanyeol had been able to see the effect he could have on Baekhyun too. It didn’t exactly make him feel better though and when he went back home, the bruises on his face were stinging and he still didn’t know what to think of all of this even if deep down, he was already starting to mourn what he had with Baekhyun. Maybe it was the end now, either because he had managed to see through Baekhyun’s real intentions or because he was completely wrong and he hurt the other too much to expect him to come back to him. Either way, it was the end.

 

The next day was spent in silence, he stayed home the whole morning and only went out after noon because he had a kill scheduled but went home right after finishing it up, dropping on his bed and staying there in complete silence. He could have not moved at all until next morning if it wasn’t for his phone vibrating with a new message. Naturally, Chanyeol got stupidly excited about it only to be disappointed when he realized that it was a message from Jongin asking him to meet at his apartment. He had almost forgotten that he had to deal with the issue with Jongin too but the fact that his best friend finally decided to stop acting as if he didn’t exist raised his mood up a bit and he  immediately went there, hoping that Jongin would only distract him and not make things worse.

 

"What the hell happened to your face again?!" was the first thing Jongin greeted him with after opening the door and stepping aside to let Chanyeol in.

 

"Nothing," the elder muttered as he barely even glanced at Jongin and simply headed to the living room.

 

"Are you really clumsy enough to stumble down the stairs of your apartment building?" Jongin snorted, following behind him.

 

Sighing, Chanyeol dropped on the couch, not in the mood to humor his best friend.

 

"I’m not sure I can tell you anything without you scolding me and calling me a betrayer anymore," he spat out unintentionally, unable to keep that thought in his head instead of voicing it out.

 

Jongin froze for a second, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and a glint of guilt in his eyes before he settled next to Chanyeol, staying silent for a few more seconds and only observing him.

 

"You can tell me anything, Chanyeol, you know it. I’ll always be here to listen to whatever dumb thought you have and I’ll always be willing to let you drag me into your stupid adventures too," Jongin muttered, wringing his hands together and looking down at them.

 

Chanyeol recognized the apology in his friend’s words and just like that, whatever issue between them was solved. They never actually got mad at each other, maybe this had been the longest time they had spent upset at each other and Chanyeol could understand Jongin, he would’ve had the same reaction had the roles been reversed. He didn’t even need to hear an actual apology, he knew Jongin enough to hear the hidden meaning in his words. Jongin was right, he always let Chanyeol drag him into trouble since that time they were younger and tired of the harsh training Junmyeon and Minseok made them undergo, they always had each other’s back and it would always remain that way. Maybe it had been stupid of Chanyeol to even think Jongin would ever betray him.

 

He caught the other’s gaze, offering him a faint smile that tugged the corner of Jongin’s lips into a wide grin of his own. However, Chanyeol’s smile soon faded away and just like that, as easily as breathing was, he found himself spilling everything to Jongin, once again. The latter quietly listened to Chanyeol as he told him everything that happened first in the warehouse where he had witnessed Sehun taking the life of someone he considered as a betrayer, the fear that it ignited in him, the possibility of the same thing happening to him if anyone was to find out about the things between Baekhyun and him. Jongin remained attentive and silent so Chanyeol went on to explain his encounter with Baekhyun and the stranger in the other warehouse, how painful it had been to see that, how betrayed he had felt, and the accusations they had thrown at each other. He expected Jongin to laugh, make fun of him, or say something along the lines of _I told you so_ but none of that happened. Jongin only nodded to urge him to continue and Chanyeol let everything out, his doubts and his confusion, the fact that he didn’t know what Baekhyun’s intentions were anymore, his anger and his regrets about saying those words to him. He had been so angry at that moment but now, he only felt shitty and couldn’t believed they had went as far as physically fighting each other when even now, he still felt the urge to protect Baekhyun somewhere deep inside of him.

 

Once he was done, he felt a bit better, it was always easier to breath after voicing his thoughts out to someone willing to listen instead of letting them eat his insides out. 

 

"You’re in deep shit, man," Jongin simply said once Chanyeol fell silent.

 

"Thanks, Jongin. How did you reach that incredibly smart conclusion?"

 

"Not funny," Jongin snorted before biting his lower lip, worrying the plump flesh as he looked at Chanyeol, deep in thought.

 

"Maybe you were right, maybe he was just manipulating me," Chanyeol pondered out after a few seconds, a loud sigh following his words out of his lips. Needles pierced through his heart at the though.

 

Jongin simply hummed, surprisingly not commenting on it. Chanyeol found it odd but didn’t dwell on it, Jongin probably just didn’t want to upset him by saying what was going through his mind and it might be better that way, Chanyeol wasn’t ready to hear it.

 

"You know," Jongin finally broke the silence after almost a full minute and Chanyeol who had been staring at the ceiling until then trailed his gaze to him. "I can’t really say anything about that Baekhyun guy’s intentions but…" he trailed off.

 

"But what?" 

 

"Maybe he’s right," Jongin sighed.

 

"What?" Chanyeol frowned, sitting up straighter and looking at the other with insistance.

 

"I mean," Jongin stalled, as if getting his next words out was difficult. "Maybe he’s right about Junmyeon hyung."

 

Chanyeol’s heart almost skipped a beat, surprise and dread filling him up. "What do you mean?"

 

"Look," Jongin sighed. "I know I got angry at you that day after everything you said but I thought about it a lot. There’s a really high chance that Baekhyun is manipulating you but that would mean he’s a really great actor because as far as I know, you’re not stupid. I thought about it and either he’s really good at it or he’s just telling you the truth and after what you just told me… I’m not sure."

 

"What made you suddenly change your mind though?" Chanyeol voiced out his confusion.

 

"I’m not saying you should believe everything he tells you, far from that, but maybe there’s some truth to what he told you. I think there really are some things we don’t know about, maybe Junmyeon hyung is really hiding some things," Jongin rambled and Chanyeol knew how difficult it was for him to even speak this way against _Junmyeon_ but he had to understand.

 

"How do you know?" he asked again, impatiently. Jongin wouldn’t speak this way without any reason.

 

Jongin sighed again. "Remember the day you came to fetch your phone at his place?" he asked, waiting for Chanyeol to nod before continuing. "Right before you came in, he was giving me your phone."

 

"Yeah, because he was going to ask you to give it to me."

 

"That’s what he told you," he chuckled drily. "But before you came in, we were actually discussing some things. I wasn’t there to report on anything, he called me on his own and asked me to come as quickly as possible so I did and when I arrived, he just… He just showed me your phone and told me that anything said in this office was to stay between its walls before asking me to hack into your phone, extract all the information I could and put a tracker in it."

 

Silence settled over the whole apartment once Jongin’s agitated voice died down and Chanyeol took a few seconds to process those words before his jaw tightened and he was hit with an ugly wave of betrayal. He had never thought he would hear those words.

 

"Why would he ask that?" he questioned through gritted teeth, feeling the blood in his veins slowly but surely starting to boil with anger and betrayal. He remembered bumping into Minseok on his way out of the office that day. How did he not notice?

 

"You were right," Jongin sighed, looking apologetic. "He’s been acting really weird about this whole Light issue and I guess he doesn’t trust you anymore about it but I found it odd of him to ask such a thing when it has never happened before."

 

Somehow, he should have expected it. He settled on not trusting Junmyeon anymore days ago and yet, having its proof laid out right in front of him was more painful than he thought it would be. He had his confirmation now.

 

"You were talking about betrayal only a few days ago and now you’re telling me Junmyeon hyung’s the one possibly betraying me," Chanyeol heaved out a dry and empty chuckle.

 

"I wouldn’t question it usually, because maybe he just wants you to be safe, maybe he just cares for you and wants to protect you from Light. That’s what he’s been trying to do for a long time."

 

"That’s bullshit, Jongin." Words flew out of his mouth before he even realized it and pronouncing them was painful but it made everything seem realer than ever. If Junmyeon was able to use his own best friend to pry into his privacy then he could do worse, maybe he had already done worse and none of them knew about.

 

Besides Baekhyun, maybe. 

 

He felt a headache slowly knocking at his temples, about to slide into his skull and devastate its insides. What if Baekhyun was right all along? He was not just a good actor, he had looked so pained yesterday and… And Chanyeol had fucked up. However, he wasn’t the only one at fault. He took a deep breath to calm the fire embracing his heart again when he remembered Baekhyun hugging that stranger so comfortably.

 

"I know," Jongin sighed loudly, running a hand through his already messy hair. "I know, I’ve thought about what you said. if he’s willing to make me track you like that, then he could do worse. Right after you left, he told me to keep that whole conversation between us and he was almost threatening me, Chanyeol. It was so subtle, there was barely any threat in his expression and voice but it was there and I felt so terrible after that."

 

"That’s why you looked so guilty and you avoided me for days," he finally understood. "And I actually thought you were there to tell Junmyeon everything I told you about Baekhyun."

 

Jongin smiled as if he wasn’t surprised. "I would never. We’ve always got each other’s back, right?" he chuckled hollowly, not putting his heart into it. The mere act of having this conversation was draining both of them out, it wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to talk about Junmyeon that way, the man who raised them up until this very day. "I didn’t know what to do so I just locked myself here and thought about everything, for hours I went through every possibility and then I remembered something."

 

"What?" Chanyeol asked, tired of hearing that word. Remembering. Memories. Forgetting. Forgotten.

 

"Remember when I first joined you three, years ago? I usually kept to myself and didn’t talk to anyone but Junmyeon hyung when necessary," he started, watching Chanyeol nod before continuing. "I just spent days on the computer he had bought me, training on my own, doing things I already knew how to do, hacking small files, creating weird programs when he asked me to… It was all really easy for me and it was something I liked doing but it was just too easy at that time, you know? So I wanted to try doing something more difficult one day," he continued, stopping for a second to bite his lower lip in worry. "I tried hacking into Junmyeon hyung’s computer."

 

"I never heard about that," Chanyeol frowned, listening attentively.

 

"He asked to keep it between us." Chanyeol wondered how many things were kept between Junmyeon and someone else, without any of them knowing about it. "I was really young at that time and mostly inexperienced, I didn’t know much about harder programs but I was stubborn and it took me days to even managed to breach into his computer’s system but I managed to do it."

 

"What did you find?" Chanyeol asked, hanging onto his best friend’s lips for each word that left them.

 

"Nothing. As soon as I accessed it, I got locked in. My computer froze and I was thrown out of the system, I didn’t think about his security system and it was stronger than I thought, I wasn’t experienced enough to hack into it without getting caught. I was just panicking in front of the screen when the door opened and Junmyeon hyung came in and he wasn’t angry but he wasn’t happy either. He just looked satisfied and told me that I must be really good if I managed to go as far as hacking into that system and only got caught by the last security barrier, that picking me up had been a good decision. I thought he was going to throw me out, I was scared and hearing those word had been reassuring but then he got all scary, I still remember his face. He told me to never try such a thing again if I wanted to keep the life he had been kind enough to give me."

 

"He can get scary," Chanyeol commented, not knowing what else he was supposed to say. "But what does that have to do with the current situation."

 

"Think about it, Chanyeol," Jongin urged him, exasperated. "He had just founded Venom at that time, it was all still fairly new and he didn’t even have many connections or deals made with people. The program he used was really, really strong. Way too strong for someone who had just started in the underground world. He didn’t have a hacker to build that program up for him, that’s why he took me in. Where did he get it? What could he have been hiding? Why did he threaten me like that when I was really just a child and I probably wouldn’t have understood half of the things I would’ve found in his personal files? He could have just brushed it off and congratulated me, he could have told me that it had been a test to see my worth but he threatened me instead. Why?"

 

"There must be things he wants no one to know about," Chanyeol hummed, head pounding as he processed everything up.

 

"He’s hiding too many things, Chanyeol. What if Light’s right and we’re just stupidly being fooled by Junmyeon hyung?" Jongin asked, Chanyeol hearing in his voice the hidden words that spoke of his fear of such a thing being actually true.

 

Chanyeol was still angry about their fight, the way Baekhyun was the one who pushed him to do such things by refusing to actually tell him anything and simply continuously messed with Chanyeol’s head instead, but there was still the possibility of his being right. 

 

He sighed. This was such a big mess and he couldn’t figure out who to listen to. "There’s only one way to know, Jongin," he said softly, looking at the other.

 

Realization showed in Jongin’s features along with worry. "You want me to hack into his files again," he stated.

 

"That’s the only way for us to know what’s really going on," Chanyeol mumbled, unsure but determined at the same time.

 

Jongin shook his head. "That would be too difficult, Chanyeol. I failed the first time, if I do it again and he notices, I’m not sure he won’t actually apply that threat from years ago."

 

"Jongin," Chanyeol almost pleaded, desperate. This was the only way for him to know. "We have to do it. We need to know what’s going on and what he’s hiding. It could be terrible things that would affect all of us. Who knows what he’s planning to do? You’re far more experienced now, there’s nothing you can’t hack into and you know it yourself."

 

It felt almost surreal as he heard himself, those words that he would have never thought about, the words that he regretted thinking yesterday at the sight he stumbled upon in the warehouse and his fight with Baekhyun. Things were happening too quickly and Chanyeol kept jumping from one side to the other, he was lingering between two pathways and each of them was dangerous but he had to know which one was worth taking the risk for, which one was the right one to take.

 

Jongin sighed, closing his eyes as he threw himself back against the couch, running a hand through his face in distress.

 

"I have no idea why I always let you drag me into shitty and dangerous situations."

 

Chanyeol smiled, recognizing the acceptation in his best friend’s voice.

 

"Because we always got each other’s back, even through shitty and dangerous situations."

 

It was going to be difficult, dangerous, and they could be completely wrong but there was only one way to know and Chanyeol was glad Jongin would be there to help through it, just like he had always done. He at least knew he wasn’t alone in this anymore and if there was one person he could plainly trust, it was no one but Jongin.

 

He was a bit closer to finding out the truth and that was all that mattered at the moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Despite not wanting to get out of Jongin’s house until the latter was done retrieving the needed files from Junmyeon’s computer, it was impossible for Chanyeol to reject anything Venom’s leader would schedule for him and he found himself out of Jongin’s apartment the very next night, knowing that it would take Jongin more than a few days to achieve such a thing as well. It was irritating but at least Chanyeol would be finally forced to go back to his own house after all of that, he had avoided going there from fear of finding Baekhyun in his living room as soon as he’d unlock his door. Or maybe from fear of _not_ finding him there.

 

Either way, Jongin had kindly concealed his bruises for him with a little bit of make up because _no one enters a club with ugly bruises on their face,_ and Chanyeol found himself in one of the clubs owned by Cobra sooner than he’d like. There was once again supposed to be a meeting between Junmyeon and Sehun and this time it was in a club, a usual meeting place that Junmyeon had decided to bring Chanyeol and Jongdae to before leaving them to slide into one of the private rooms to meet Sehun first and call them later up. They just had to make sure the place was safe while Junmyeon was up there and at least, thanks to the make up, Chanyeol didn’t have to worry about Jongdae mocking him for losing a fight.

 

On the contrary, Jongdae seemed rather distracted, fingers wrapped around a glass of Scotch and gaze trailing over the crown of moving bodies on the dance floor.

 

"There’s a woman staring at you from over there," Chanyeol said after a while, once Jongdae had been silent for more than ten seconds, nodding towards a woman sitting on one of the booths behind Jongdae.

 

"I’d stare at me too if I were here, let her be," he simply shrugged, lips curling into feline smile before they rested on the rim of his glass and he took a sip, not even glancing at said woman.

 

Chanyeol simply swirled the liquid around his bottle of beer, not really keen on drinking while working.

 

"What? You’re not going to ditch me and drag her to the restroom?" he asked the elder teasingly, surprised that he was still sitting there. Usually, it took Jongdae less than five minutes to disappear from sight to do God knows what with God knows who.

 

"Nope," Jongdae shrugged, popping the ‘p’ in his usual obnoxious way. "I promised Minseok I’d stop sleeping around so much and letting it fuck with my work."

 

"Really?" Chanyeol asked, not sure if he was supposed to believe that.

 

"Yep."

 

"How did he even manage to make you promise that?" he snorted before narrowing his eyes at the wide grin that spread on Jongdae’s lips. "Why did you even _promise_ that?"

 

"Well, because he promised to compensate for it in exchange," he replied, lips curved into one of his wicked smirks that always held a tint of insanity in the corners. 

 

The music in the club was loud and Chanyeol took a few seconds to actually understand those words, the other’s expression helping him process what he actually meant.

 

"Dude," he scrunched his face up in disgust, shaking his head to get rid of the images flooding his head. "I didn’t need to know that."

 

"I thought you needed to know it since you asked so eagerly," Jongdae smirked in amusement, obviously satisfied with the trauma he just gave Chanyeol.

 

"How did that even happen?" he couldn’t help but ask because it had been years since Jongdae had joined them and he had never noticed anything hinting to that kind of relationship between Minseok and him. He didn’t even know Minseok and the word _relationship_ could be put in the same sentence, he only showed emotions when splattering a target’s blood all over the walls. 

 

"Well," Jongdae hummed and before Chanyeol realized his mistake, he went on. "I was hanging out at his place a few days ago because I was bored and he came in late at night after finishing up a kill and he had a few scratches on his face and blood stain on his clothes and skin and he looked really hot so I-"

 

"Don’t!" Chanyeol suddenly cut him off, almost screaming as he shot up in his seat, ready to physically shut Jongdae up by strangling him if needed.

 

The latter stopped talking and started cackling loudly instead, head thrown back in an expression of delight that showed how much he enjoyed playing with Chanyeol like this and traumatizing him.

 

"I fucking swear to God, Jongdae-"

 

"Jongdae, Chanyeol?"

 

A low voice suddenly cut them off and they both turned to its source sharply, observing the man who was dressed in a suit. They immediately calmed down, recognized the bouncer who had let them in earlier.

 

"Yes?" Chanyeol replied, watching the man for any sign of danger.

 

"Follow me upstairs, they’re waiting for you," was the only thing the man said before turning around  and walking through the crowd.

 

They both followed him, knowing that their small relaxation time was done, and they soon found themselves in front of a door in a more quiet part of the club after going through numerous corridors.

 

The man knocked, waiting for approval before opening the door and gesturing them to walk in. Chanyeol did first, Jongdae following behind, and he found Junmyeon casually laughing at something that Sehun had probably said before they entered, the latter’s face still frozen in his usual blank façade. There was no one in the room, just a few men outside of it guarding the door but no one but the four of them inside. Junmyeon turned to them once they stepped closer.

 

"Here you are," Junmyeon offered them a light smile. "I didn’t expect Jongdae to be here as well, I’m pleasantly surprised."

 

"What do you mean, boss? I never slack off my work," the said man smiled amusedly.

 

"Right," Junmyeon snorted, almost in amusement as well. Chanyeol wondered if he knew of Minseok and Jongdae. The eldest turned to Cobra’s leader. "We’ve been discussing the Light issue with Sehun and we’ve reached a conclusion on what to do."

 

Chanyeol did his best not to tense up at the name and simply tried relaxing, joining his hands together in front of his body as he quietly listened, returning Junmyeon’s gaze.

 

"We managed to reach another one of Light’s clients," Sehun announced.

 

"But this time, we’re not going to interrogate him or anything of that sort," Junmyeon took over and Chanyeol almost laughed. That was an understatement. "We made a deal with the guy and he’s going to help us lay a trap for Light," he continued and any desire to laugh left Chanyeol at those words.

 

"Really?" Jongdae almost purred, as if already thrilled by the mere mention of a ‘trap.’ He probably was. Chanyeol remained silent, simply listening to the sound of his heartbeat growing almost louder than the others’ voice.

 

"The man’s going to act as a normal client and give Light a date and place to get rid of a target but we’re only going to send our men there and set up an ambush for him. He won’t be able to win against too many men and we’ll finally be able to get rid of him," Junmyeon spat out, each of his words dripping with venom.

 

"This already went on for longer than necessary," Sehun agreed and Chanyeol watched his relaxed posture, the way he slowly moved his hand in circular motions, the golden liquid in his glass swirling around a bit before he brought it up to his lips, sipping on his drink.

 

"When will that be?" Chanyeol finally spoke once he knew his voice wouldn’t betray the way cold panic was seeping into him.

 

"This Monday," Junmyeon casually replied.

 

Two days from now.

 

In two days, Baekhyun will be trapped in an ambush and the chances of his getting out of it alive were slim. He was good and really skillful but if he had no idea of what was going to happen to him, there was no way he’d be able to win that fight.

 

Unless Chanyeol told him beforehand.

 

The three others continued discussing the details of the trap, the time and place, who should go there, and what they were supposed to do to Light once he was trapped there but Chanyeol couldn’t pay full attention to it, their voice drowned out by the suffocating thoughts that screamed inside his skull. Baekhyun might die if Chanyeol didn’t warn him.

 

What was he supposed to do? Should he let Baekhyun drive towards his own end just like this, or should he put everything aside to keep the other alive? They didn’t contact each other at all since their fight and Chanyeol still hated the other with his whole being when remembering his attitude and what he had been doing in that warehouse but did he really want Baekhyun to die? His pride was in the way of his thoughts, he had no reason to help someone who probably didn’t even care about him. If anything, Baekhyun should be the one to apologize to him for what he put Chanyeol through and for the pain the latter felt that day. He still didn’t know who that guy was.

 

However, if he didn’t do anything about it, Baekhyun would be in danger. Did that really matter though? Chanyeol was in danger all the time because of him. Baekhyun might be manipulating him. Maybe not though, Jongin had said that maybe he was being truthful. Was Chanyeol ready to let Baekhyun die? They had so many memories together. He didn’t remember most of them but they were there, somewhere in his mind. Were they even real though? Of course they were, Chanyeol knew they were, he had just been really angry that day. What would Baekhyun do in this situation? Did he care enough to prevent Chanyeol from dying? He had shed tears because of Chanyeol, he was in pain. Was it worse than how Chanyeol felt though?

 

If he were to do something about it, it would be easy to know that he was the one who warned Baekhyun. Only four people were in this room as this plan was being discussed and Junmyeon already suspected him enough as it was. Chanyeol would basically run towards his own end. However, Baekhyun would walk towards his own death.

 

Once again, he was stuck between two different pathways and he didn’t know if he liked where each of them would lead him to. He didn’t even know where he would end up. Having to make the choice was suffocating.

 

He only had two days to decide what to do and that was an awfully short time. Whatever he chose to do, Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether he was ready to deal with the consequences or not.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Every time Chanyeol told himself things couldn't get worse, it seemed to tick off the God that many people believed in and he ended up bitterly swallowing his own words back.

 

He couldn’t even actually say the past two days were the worst he had been through since as soon as he would say that, he somehow knew that worse days would await him right at the corner of a dark alley he couldn’t seem to get himself out of. Ever since that meeting in one of Cobra’s clubs where they discussed the ambush they were planning for Baekhyun, Channel had barely been able to get a wink of sleep, head too busy weighting the pros and cons of what he wanted to do. Not that he actually knew what he wanted to do.

 

Two days passed, the sun had set a long time ago this Monday and Baekhyun was probably almost on his way to the warehouse full of people waiting to carve holes into his body with their guns. It was going to happen tonight and Chanyeol didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He had fought with Baekhyun really badly and the latter hadn’t tried to contact him at all, maybe he didn’t want to see Chanyeol ever again and maybe Chanyeol shouldn’t want to see the other ever again either, it would be the right thing to feel now that he wasn’t sure of Baekhyun’s intentions towards him. Or was he really not sure? Once that ugly feeling of anger and jealousy had faded, Chanyeol had been able to think about all of this more rationally and the possibility that he had just overreacted was high. Even if he did give Baekhyun the occasion to reply to his questions and the latter refused to do it, maybe he had understandable reasons. The tears he had showed Chanyeol were far from being fake, Chanyeol could match the look that Baekhyun had in his eyes that day to the one he had in a memory where Baekhyun probably felt just as pained.

 

Maybe that was all it had been. Jealousy. 

 

After long hours of dwelling on his own thoughts, Chanyeol had reluctantly reached the conclusion that this was the only name he could put to the feeling of flames devoting his insides when he had seen Baekhyun in the embrace of another man, that ugly feeling that pushed his fist to crash against the other’s face. Baekhyun had thrown the first attack but Chanyeol had pushed him to do so, out of anger and suffocated by a feeling of betrayal. Those two feelings matched the description of jealousy, even if Chanyeol hated feeling that way and still winced by its mere thought. There was also the fact that he wasn’t actually sure why he was feeling that way. Baekhyun had never belonged to him, had never even showed any interest in belonging to him. He only ever showed interest in making Chanyeol feel like _he_ belonged to him and would do anything at the mere snap of his fingers.

 

But Baekhyun had looked too hurt by Chanyeol’s accusations.

 

Sighing, Chanyeol stopped the car when the light turned red at an intersection. He had taken too many useless drives that week, it was a waste of money since he simply drove in circles all over the city that he knew like the back of his hands but at least, it helped him think properly. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, fidgety and stressed out, gaze traveling out of the window and around the busy streets surrounding him too quickly for him to actually register anything he was seeing. He felt suffocated, something heavy sat on his shoulders.

 

Did he hate Baekhyun enough to let him die tonight? Sure, Baekhyun was strong and might have been able to defend himself if he was prepared but he had no idea about the armed men who were waiting for him in that warehouse. Even he would have a difficult time getting out of it alive and Chanyeol was the only one who’d be able to prevent him from losing his life. However, it would be too easy for Junmyeon to link him to it if Baekhyun were to show signs of being aware of their trap. Moreover, Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether Junmyeon had done this on purpose or not. What if this was all a mere test to see what Chanyeol would do? To see if he would really choose Baekhyun over Venom? Would Junmyeon go that far? After what he had asked Jongin to do with his phone, Chanyeol wouldn’t be surprised. A single wrong move might bring him to a painful and unwanted end. The light turned green and Chanyeol drove off, no particular destination in mind.

 

However, was it worth letting Baekhyun run into a trap he might never get out of? Baekhyun with whom he had shared a childhood, long years that he didn’t remember but that still felt much more precious than anything else to him, the child whom he had protected in his childhood. Chanyeol almost could feel that feeling of protectiveness in his memories and as he remembered their physical fight,  a pang hit his heart, as if Chanyeol was its source himself. He regretted it so much and what if Baekhyun left this world without even knowing how Chanyeol felt about that? What if he’d never be able to apologize for insulting their shared memories like that? 

 

What if that fight with Baekhyun would really be his last memory of him?

 

Something suddenly seemed to snap inside of Chanyeol and he felt the panic that he had managed to control for two whole days suddenly flood him with agitated and icy waves, akin to gloomy river that had finally left the confines of its bed after days of heavy rain and whose water was rushing over whoever was close to it, the threat of destruction loud and clear between each drop of panic. Fear snapped in Chanyeol’s mind, loud and bright, like a lightning that finally, finally pushed him to take a decision, however wrong it might be. He couldn’t afford to lose Baekhyun and he couldn’t afford to show Junmyeon any wrong move but he would do anything to help him. It was already too late to warn Baekhyun but if he was fast enough, maybe Chanyeol would be there in time and help him out of the hell that awaited him.

 

He finally had a destination in mind and by the time he paid more attention to where he was headed to, Chanyeol realized that he was already halfway towards where the warehouse was located, in the outskirts of the city. It seems that his unconscious had already decided for him a long time ago and Chanyeol would have loved to stop and and laugh at his pathetic self but he had no time to waste, stepping on the accelerator harshly to speed up instead. Junmyeon hadn’t given him an exact time, he had just said that it would happen on Monday night during that meeting and he hadn’t mentioned anything else about it during the two following days so Chanyeol had no idea about whether it was already too late or not. He hoped with his whole soul that he would be there in time to keep Baekhyun alive.

 

He barely registered the unnecessarily long journey towards the warehouse, it seemed too short and too long at the same time, Chanyeol didn’t know what he would be seeing once he was there and his heartbeat was too loud for him to hear the surrounding cars that honked at him as he broke too many traffic rules in a few minutes. What if it was too late? Why hadn’t he decided to go there sooner? Why was he so slow and stupid? Why didn’t Baekhyun try contacting him first? Before he had time to think about the answers to his own questions, he reached the place and parked his car a few feet away from the warehouse, he’d have to travel by foot if he didn’t want anyone to see him. This might go wrong, maybe it had already gone wrong. Maybe this was actually a trap to him. He didn’t know but the only thing he was sure of was that he couldn’t just stay still and wait for the news of Baekhyun having died.

 

He turned the engine off, took a second to heave in a deep breath before he grabbed the gun that he always kept in the glove box of his car, pulled his hood over his head and lowered it to conceal part of his face, and got out of the car. He chose not to take his sniper riffle, he would have no time to find a proper place to prop it on, he’d have to shoot from afar with nothing but his gun and he would have to make sure everyone was dead in order to get rid of the possibility of anyone telling Junmyeon or Sehun that he was there. It might be difficult, it might be a big failure, but it was better than just waiting for Baekhyun to die. Chanyeol couldn’t bear the thought of not doing anything to help the other, he was already regretting not warning him about this trap beforehand. He just had to make sure Baekhyun was okay now, he couldn’t help it, it was something that he _needed_ to do _._

 

Fingers tightly holding onto his gun, he swiftly advanced towards the warehouse, avoiding the bushes and the branches that were hanging low from the trees. He did his best to remain as quiet as possible, gaze searching for any kind of threat around him but there was nothing but the eery silence of the forest and the whistling of the wind, no matter how much Chanyeol tried hearing any kind of hint as to what had happened in the warehouse that he could now see a few feet away from him. He advanced towards it, hidden by the shadows playing hide and seek in the forest, and once he could see the rather worn out building in front of him, the assassin stopped for a second, concealing himself behind one of the largest trees near him. He cut his own breath, chest heaving up and down with adrenaline and that cold feeling of panic that still slithered in his veins, and simply listened. There was nothing, no sign of any fight, no pained screams, no echoing gunshots, just a worryingly loud silence that only fueled Chanyeol’s worries. However, he was still too far and he couldn’t properly hear anything. Was it done already? Or did nothing even start? Was Baekhyun lying inside lifeless or was he still on his way here? 

 

Chanyeol silenced his own thoughts and paid more attention to his surroundings, gaze raking the building for any shadow or concealed movement. There was no one, nothing indicating anyone’s presence either. The door was closed, not locked, but closed, like it was the case for most ‘abandoned’ warehouses. He looked to the left side of the building, a small path was leading up to what the assassin supposed was a back door. His eyes then slid to the opposite side and he looked to the right, eyes narrowing when the wind blew harder, causing the leaves to flutter more. There, behind unkept bushes and trees, something glinted, as if moonlight was reflecting on steel. It looked like a car, he wasn’t sure, it was too far from him and its owner had done a good job at concealing it, using the darkness of the night to his advantage. It was too quiet, way too quiet and Chanyeol tightened his hold on his gun before stepping forward with the intention of checking if there was anyone in the way, for all he knew it could be Baekhyun’s.

 

A loud booming stopped him in his tracks and Chanyeol slipped back into the shadow of the tree, gaze snapping towards the building just in time to see that the door had been thrown open enough for it to collide with the wall, thus the noise. He saw a small figure coming out of the building and it was dark around but Chanyeol would be able to recognize Baekhyun anywhere. It was him, Baekhyun was walking away from the warehouse, one hand holding on to his waist as if he was hurt. Chanyeol felt a pang in his heart but he was frozen in place, not able to comprehend how Baekhyun had been able to get out of that place alive, and before he had time to dwell on it, Baekhyun’s figure was suddenly illuminated by long strings of light Chanyeol watched as the car from earlier was turned on by someone he had not been able to see earlier inside. Baekhyun ran towards it, his other hand holding onto a gun as if out of habit. As soon as he was inside the car, the engine drove off before Baekhyun even had the time to properly close the door and Chanyeol was left dumbfounded, gaze still lingering on the spot the car that Baekhyun had disappearing with had been before it drove off. It took a few seconds for his thoughts to aline and form a single one.

 

He had been too late.

 

He had been too late and Baekhyun was already gone. With someone else. Probably the stranger he had seen in their warehouse. His hold tightened around the gun that was now uselessly hanging by his side.

 

He leaned his back against the tree he had been hiding behind until now, taking a deep breath as he processed everything, mind running fast as he tried understanding what had just happened. Baekhyun was alive. That was the only thing that actually mattered right now and he had only seen him for two seconds but it had been enough for the heaviness weighing down on Chanyeol’s shoulders to fade into the air. Baekhyun was okay, he might be hurt a bit but it was to be expected and it didn’t seem to be something too bad or else he wouldn’t have been able to run like that. How had he been able to get out of this with no major injuries, though? Junmyeon couldn’t have lied to him and Baekhyun wouldn’t be hurt if he only had to confront a single person, especially if that person had really been a target given to him by a client. Junmyeon hadn’t lied to him, not when Jongdae and Sehun were in this too. Unless that had been a trap for him and not for Baekhyun but there was nothing indicating something of that sort yet. If that was the case, Chanyeol wouldn’t be surprised, he didn’t trust Junmyeon but it still seemed unlikely.

 

However, there was no way Baekhyun had been able to win this on his own. Chanyeol didn’t know much about Cobra but he knew that they weren’t stupid enough to send only five men to deal with someone as strong and infamous as Light, there must have been more than a dozen men in this warehouse and Baekhyun had gotten out of it alive which meant that he had either killed or at least injured them badly enough to run away. No one would be able to do that, it had been a trap and a mere minute ago, Chanyeol was blaming himself for not warning Baekhyun beforehand. He hadn’t warned him so there was no way for him to know about this. Moreover, Baekhyun had never required the assistance of a second person when getting rid of a target, this was the first time Chanyeol had seen him leave with someone else which meant that either this really was something unusual or it had always been this way but the guy was really good at hiding and Chanyeol had never noticed him. If this was something unusual, it meant that Baekhyun had particularly asked someone to be there with him because he might not have been sure of the state he would be in at the end. However, that would mean that he was aware of what he was throwing himself into. It just didn’t make any sense, Chanyeol hadn’t told him anything so how would he even know?

 

Chanyeol shook his head, taking a second to gather his scrambled thoughts and turned to look at the warehouse again, finally noticing that barely visible tuffs of smoke were escaping through the open door, the only opening in the windowless building. He had to check its inside, it might help him understand the situation better.

 

Eyes still racking over his surroundings, the assassin carefully advanced towards the warehouse, gun ready to shoot any threat that might cut his way. The door was already wide open and the building wasn’t that big so he did his best to conceal himself in the darkness just in case someone actually alive was waiting for him inside. Once near the door, he leaned his back against the wall, kept his gun ready, and peeked inside, not actually surprised at the sight that welcomed him between the four walls of the building. Or three and a half since the wall right across the entrance had a huge opening, its surroundings covered by black stains that were probably the result of an explosion. Chanyeol should have known Baekhyun was the kind to occasionally use explosives. However, that wasn’t the most surprising thing about it and his gaze immediately slid down to the sprawled bodies he could see on the floor, most of them covered in blood and lifeless. There were indeed more than a dozen men inside, around fifteen maybe and half of them had probably been injured by the explosion that had shattered part of the wall but it still seemed unlikely for Baekhyun to take all of them down on his own, especially since they were all dead, or really close to it. With a closer inspection, Chanyeol could see that while some of them were shot with a single well-aimed bullet, others had several holes oozing wth blood on their body. It was too dark for Chanyeol to see if it was the result of a machine gun or not, he didn’t want to go in and take a better look, but it was enough for Chanyeol to know Baekhyun hadn’t fought in this battle on his own.

 

Who had helped him? Was it the guy in the car from earlier? Was it the same guy from the warehouse? Was it a third person that he hadn’t seen in the car? How did he know about the ambush? Most importantly, why did Chanyeol felt almost disappointed at the fact that he hadn’t been able to help Baekhyun and that the latter had used someone else’s help? It didn’t matter, Baekhyun was alive and that was the most important thing right now. The same ugly feeling from the day of their fight started biting into his heart again. He didn’t want to feel like that right now, not when he had too many other things to think about, not when he had still too many things to understand.

 

A whimper of pain reached his ears and Chanyeol carefully looked inside again, catching a glimpse of movement that albeit slow and obviously painful, showed that there was at least one survivor inside. He quietly moved away from the door, muffled and quiet footsteps taking him back towards his car before anyone would have the time to see and recognize him.

 

It would be yet another sleepless night but at least, Chanyeol thought bitterly, he had new questions to think about instead of the thoughts that had been eating his mind away for the past three days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Do either of you have an idea about what happened last night?"

 

Junmyeon’s cold, professional, and somehow still threatening voice echoed in his office and Chanyeol almost felt the four walls of the room closing in around him and cutting his breath. Or maybe that was only the weight of Junmyeon’s insistant gaze on him, the elder comfortably settled on his armchair and sizing Chanyeol up, looking more intimidating than ever despite the fact that Chanyeol was standing on his two feet and had to look down at him from across his desk. That gaze only meant that Junmyeon was trying to read the thoughts that were going through his head and Chanyeol should have expected this to be the result of the call he had gotten early this morning, after barely a mere hour of sleep.

 

"Well, if you’re asking what happened to us last night, I’m not sure you want to know what I did with whom, boss," Jongdae, who had been standing next to Chanyeol silently until now, replied with a shrug that the taller saw from the corner of his eye.

 

"I’m not in the mood to deal with your messy personal life, Jongdae. If you’re going to speak, open that big mouth of your to reply to my questions only," was Junmyeon’s unamused reply and Chanyeol glanced at Jongdae to see a calm but ticked off smile on his face. "I repeat, do either of you have an idea about what happened last night? Chanyeol?"

 

Despite feeling the two syllables of his name stab his guts with barely concealed accusations, Chanyeol stayed calm and straightened his stance. "Weren’t we supposed to ambush Light last night, boss?" he asked, tone neutral.

 

"We were," Junmyeon laughed and it didn’t sound amused, only bitter and murderous. "Of course, we were. And we did. Do you know what happened instead?" His tone was heavy with anger and seeing that Junmyeon’s knuckles were whitening as he gripped onto a pen hard, Chanyeol was glad Jongdae had finally decided to keep quiet. "It was a failure."

 

"What happened?" Chanyeol asked, frowning as he did his best to look disturbed. A single wrong twitch of his facial muscles seemed to be enough for the pen Junmyeon was holding to end up stabbing him in the eye.

 

"Cobra sent in fifteen men and found all of them dead except a single one who informed us of Light’s last words before leaving the warehouse, barely injured," the elder replied and Chanyeol already knew that but he almost shivered at the pure anger held in those words, the tension reeking from Junmyeon’s hardened features almost making him uncomfortable.

 

"You mean he got out of there alive? How is that even possible? He couldn’t win against so many men, he’s not that strong, no one is," Jongdae spoke again.

 

Chanyeol felt the accusation in Junmyeon’s gaze cut his breath before his words did.

 

"It seems like someone had kindly informed him of what was awaiting him there and the only survivor relayed his message to us. He wanted us to know that we needed actual proof before coming for him and failing so miserably."

 

"No one could have informed him, though. And even if that happened, he was still there. It’s stupid of him to throw himself into danger despite knowing what was going to happen," Jongdae mused out.

 

"He wasn’t alone, according to the guy he spared," Junmyeon said through gritted teeth, obviously trying to contain his anger. "He managed to survive because he was helped by a second person and because he was aware of what was waiting for him."

 

"Do we know who was the guy who helped him?" Chanyeol finally asked, careful.

 

"Of course not," Junmyeon replied, his dark orbs settling on Chanyeol again. "The only thing we know is that someone informed him of the trap." 

 

Chanyeol already knew that but hearing it from Junmyeon made it only realer and despite hours spent thinking about that particular subject, he still couldn’t figure out how Baekhyun had managed to know about this. Chanyeol hadn’t told him, so who had?

 

"Who knew about this besides us?" Jongdae voiced out Chanyeol’s silent question.

 

"No one. There was only the three of us and Sehun in that room when we discussed it and Sehun kept it between his most trusted men only afterwards. He contacted me this morning and he’s going to check with his men but we both agree that there’s a betrayer among us."

 

It didn’t make sense. Who could it be? Not Junmyeon, nor Sehun himself. Chanyeol could feel Junmyeon’s heavy gaze on him, it was obvious who the elder had in mind. His furious heartbeat was almost as loud as his own thoughts. The stifling atmosphere in the room made it almost too difficult to breath.

 

He slid his gaze to his side, observing Jongdae whose lips were pursed, a habit the other had whenever he was in deep thoughts. For once, he had no amused smile on his lips. It might be someone who had been in that room when the pain was discussed and the only probable option was Jongdae.

 

Why, though? Why would Jongdae do that? It didn’t make sense, it couldn’t be him. He had no link to this situation at all.

 

Who, then? One of Cobra’s men? 

 

"Chanyeol," the cold, emotionless call of his name pulled him out of his thoughts and his gaze snapped from Jongdae to Junmyeon. He knew what words were going to be thrown at him before the elder spoke again. "Where were you last night?"

 

"At Jongin’s place until late at night," he replied with a nonchalant confidence despite the tension slowly tightening its rope around his neck. He had been expecting this question and had settled this with Jongin already, the younger would cover for him. "Why?"

 

"Do you have anything to do with this?" the elder threw his next question at him before Chanyeol’s was even fully formed.

 

Silence settled over the room, thick, stifling, and heavy on Chanyeol’s shoulders. He hadn’t expected Junmyeon to accuse him so directly, he had been expecting insinuations, accusing glares, and suspicious interrogations but not a direct question. He was almost dumbfounded for a second, did Junmyeon really went far enough in his suspicions to accuse him so directly?

 

"Are you accusing me of being the one who warned Light of the trap?" he asked calmly, almost surprised when he felt the familiar heat that anger breathed into his veins. How could Junmyeon question him like that when he was hiding too many things himself?

 

"If that’s what you got out of my question, then it must be what I’m accusing you of," the elder replied and Chanyeol knew this stance. He was looking at Chanyeol as if he were one of his countless enemies, someone he had to be wary of, someone he had to look down on and show his superiority to. He didn’t see Chanyeol as a brother anymore and the realization was almost, _almost_ painful to him. However, what was more painful was the second realization that Chanyeol had stopped seeing a brother in Junmyeon a long time ago.

 

He listened to the slow ticking of Junmyeon’s pen as he continuously tapped it against the wooden surface of his desk. It was a slow rhythm that managed to speed up Chanyeol’s heartbeat. Beads of sweat trailed down his back, as if attracted by the maleficent melody Junmyeon tried destabilizing  Chanyeol with.

 

"Jongdae was in that room with us too. Why are you accusing me and not him?" he questioned calmly. He had made the mistake of getting at Junmyeon once and that might have been what brought all of this to this point. He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

 

He glanced at Jongdae who had been silently observing their exchange until now. No amusement or playfulness was hanging on his lips or sparkling in his eyes. He was tensed up but that might be a natural reaction to the dark atmosphere dancing loudly around the room. Or maybe it was guilt. Chanyeol didn’t know who he could trust anymore.

 

"Jongdae’s not the one who had refused to kill Light for weeks, he’s not the one getting angry at me and disrespecting me as soon as I put Light’s name into my mouth. He’s not the one who’s been acting oddly since Light started messing with us, Chanyeol. Anyone would think of such a possibility after all these happenings," Junmyeon replied and the calm with which he did it made it even more infuriating, it was as if he was still in full control of everything and Chanyeol hated it. 

 

However, he stayed calm, doing his best to keep his expression neutral. Junmyeon was sizing him up, waiting for him to snap and make a mistake. Chanyeol wouldn’t let that happen. His gaze was steady and sure as it locked with the elder’s.

 

"Being put forward as the first suspect doesn’t feel nice at all, boss," he frowned, taking a deep breath, carefully choosing his words. Junmyeon hadn’t looked away from him once. "I didn’t do it. I have nothing to do with Light anymore since you pulled me out of his case and I don’t think I’ve done anything that could even hint at such a thing," he defended himself, not hostile like Junmyeon probably expected him to be but calm. Junmyeon hadn’t caught him with Baekhyun yet. He had no proof, only suspicions. The elder raised a brow at his words but stayed silent, Chanyeol couldn’t read his expression. "It could be one of Cobra’s men. If Light’s being helped by someone we know nothing about, then he could also have someone who’s helping him in Cobra."

 

"That does sound like a good possibility, boss," Jongdae finally intervened and Chanyeol had almost forgotten his presence in the room but he was thankful for the support, even if Jongdae probably had no idea about it. "Cobra is an organization with hundreds of men, it would be easy to bribe someone from a lower rank and turn them into a spy."

 

Junmyeon’s gaze slid from Chanyeol to Jongdae as he listened to him and during the next second, his whole stance changed, the tension on his shoulders fading and the anger in his features washed away by a neutral expression. Chanyeol relaxed as well, it seemed that he had won this battle. 

 

"Cobra is going to investigate more on this issue and I will help them. I just hope neither of you are doing anything you’d regret at some point," he said, gaze lingering on Chanyeol more before he looked away and put his pen down.

 

"Don’t worry, boss. I’ll personally burn the traitor into ashes for you once we find him, it’d be a great pleasure," Jongdae said and suddenly, it was as if nothing had happened.

 

"You don’t need excuses to put people into flames, Jongdae," Junmyeon replied, lips curving into the faintest smile.

 

Jongdae’s loud cackling seemed to swipe the last remains of tension away.

 

"Anyway, I’ll keep you updated on this issue," he said and Chanyeol nodded, curving his lips into a convincing smile. However, it was swept away the next second. "But you won’t be taking part in any meetings regarding what’s happening between Light and Cobra, Chanyeol."

 

Dread washed over him like a bucked of iced water.

 

"What? Why?" he asked, not able to keep his calm this time. 

 

That was bad. That would be bad, too dangerous. Those meetings were his only way of knowing what was going on with Baekhyun. What if they tried setting up a trap to Baekhyun again and the other was really unaware of it? Chanyeol wouldn’t know about it, he wouldn’t be able to do anything about. How would he be able to know whether Baekhyun was still alive or not when the other refused to contact him? Didn’t Junmyeon believe him just now? Why did he find it necessary to do such a thing? Chanyeol was an important member of their clan, he had always taken part in important meetings even if he rarely actually listened to their content. This had been one of his strongest links to Baekhyun and it was getting cut off too early.

 

"That’s how it should be," Junmyeon replied with a sigh.

 

"Don’t you believe me, hyung? I didn’t do anything to betray either Venom or Cobra!"

 

"I know, Chanyeol," Junmyeon shook his head, giving him an apologetic look. He wasn't angry or suspicious anymore but this was even worse. "I know you would never betray us."

 

_Then why did you ask Jongin to put a tracker chip into my phone?_

 

Chanyeol barely contained that question, clenching his jaw as he realized that Junmyeon was lying to him. He didn’t believe him. Chanyeol had won the battle earlier but at the end, was he really the winner today? What if this had been Junmyeon’s intention all along? What if he had done all of this on purpose?

 

"Then why are you pulling me out of this completely?" he settled on asking, fists clenching at his sides but tone void of any anger. He had to stay calm.

 

"This was Cobra’s request. Sehun asked me to do this out of precaution, he knows about your history with Light and thinks it would be for the better for now."

 

Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to do anything about it if Sehun was the one who asked for this to happen. He couldn’t understand why Junmyeon would obey to Sehun so easily but he guessed that this might only be an excuse, one Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to protest against.

 

He glanced at Jongdae, tightening his jaw in front of the sincere glint of apology in the latter’s eyes. It seemed like he knew Chanyeol hated the position he was put in and Jongdae was maybe a bit too crazy but he had never done anything wrong to Chanyeol. 

 

However, it seemed that Chanyeol had really come to a point where he couldn’t trust anyone.

 

"I understand. If that’s for the best, then so be it," he spoke through gritted teeth, avoiding Junmyeon’s gaze as he didn’t trust himself enough not to show the defeat in his eyes. "I should take my leave then, I don’t have anything to do here anymore."

 

And with that, he turned around and left the room, defeat and anger weighing down on his shoulders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Somehow, Chanyeol always ended up finding himself in places that held precious memories both to him and to Baekhyun to calm himself down and he wasn’t even surprised when a few hours later, he found himself settled on the swing Baekhyun usually sat on, in the park they always visited together. He had spent the whole day taking care of the two kills he had scheduled in the afternoon and then roaming around the city aimlessly in order to sort his thoughts out and think about everything that had happened so far. The sun had fully set half an hour ago and the sky’s nightgown made the park look eerier than usual and haunted by memories Chanyeol tried not to think about. Maybe he’d never be able to run away from Baekhyun, no matter how hard he tried to. Not that he had tried particularly hard.

 

This big mess Baekhyun had dragged him into kept growing every single passing day and Chanyeol just tangled himself further between the ropes of confusion, suspicion, and betrayal. Maybe it was just easier to blame Baekhyun instead of blaming himself.

 

Either way, Chanyeol had no idea what to make out of all of this. It was clear that Junmyeon suspected him more and more with each passing day and the only way to prevent anything bad from happening would be for Jongin to hack into the elder’s files as soon as possible which would give Chanyeol a real idea on what side to choose and what to do. He had lost his trust for Junmyeon a long time ago and he simply wanted to make sure that he wasn’t doing the wrong thing, that Baekhyun hadn’t been lying to him about that as well. Junmyeon had seemingly lost his trust in Chanyeol too and he wasn’t sure whether the other had believed him or not when he had tried defending himself against his accusations. He really hadn’t done anything this time and he hoped the person who was seemingly working for Baekhyun was one of Cobra’s men, maybe that would at least make Junmyeon believe in him again, it would spare Chanyeol a lot of trouble.

 

However, Chanyeol didn’t really want to think about all of that for now. Or rather, he couldn’t, his mind going back to the thoughts that had been haunting his mind since last night after he had seen Baekhyun get out of that warehouse without any major injuries. He had so many unanswered questions about that but one of them flashed at Chanyeol more urgently than the others.

 

What if Baekhyun hadn’t been informed of the trap beforehand?

 

It had obviously been too late when Chanyeol had arrived, he wouldn’t have been able to help Baekhyun and if he hadn’t known, Baekhyun might have been dead by the time Chanyeol had arrived there. The thought sent chills down his spine, his blood feeling like ice in his veins, like prickles of ice that kept stabbing at his heart, as merciless as needles would be. The idea of Baekhyun dying didn’t settle well with him, Chanyeol felt like the world would tilt off its axis if Baekhyun were to cease existing. It didn’t make sense, it felt impossible, as if Baekhyun just wasn’t supposed to die. He had become such a major of Chanyeol’s life and the latter felt like it was supposed to be that way forever, as if Baekhyun _had_ to always be there, with his infuriating smile, his ethereal beauty, his loud laughter, and his overall odd behavior with Chanyeol. He didn’t know when he had started feeling this way but the mere thought of never being able to see Baekhyun again cut Chanyeol’s breath, his stomach twisting into painful knots as he tried imagining a life without Baekhyun.

 

It couldn’t be. It just didn’t fit the vision of life that Chanyeol had. He didn’t know when that vision had turned into one of Baekhyun’s smile offered to him every single day but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to change it no matter what and it was pathetic, if you had told Chanyeol that he would feel this way about someone a few months ago, he would have waved you off after laughing. He had never really thought that it was possible for someone like him to feel such things and yet, here he was, thinking about Baekhyun, going crazy as he wondered whether he was okay or not, how bad his injury had been last night, if he had been scared about what could have happened to him. What if Baekhyun thought that Chanyeol knew about this but hadn’t told him on purpose? He wouldn’t, right? Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol would never do anything to harm in, on the contrary, Chanyeol had promised himself to protect Baekhyun with his own life in the past.

 

He froze for a split second, stopping the swing by planting his feet on the floor, his hold around the rusty chains tightening.

 

He didn’t have any memory of promising such a thing, not an exact one at least, but he knew that he had promised it in the past, when they were two kids left to their own fate in the streets.

 

And yet, he had broken that promise a few days ago by hurting Baekhyun both physically and mentally. He had been the cause of Baekhyun’s tears when he knew that in the past, he had always been the one to wipe away those crystal beads filled with sadness.

 

It had been four days since he had last actually seen Baekhyun, the glimpse he had caught last night in front of the warehouse didn’t really count. It had been four days since their fight and Chanyeol wanted this to end already. It took him four days but he could finally admit that he missed Baekhyun and he yearned to see him as soon as possible to check whether he was okay or not himself. He _needed_ to do it. It was pathetic but he couldn’t do anything about it. Maybe Baekhyun would also act differently after their fight, maybe he would be more willing to answer. Maybe Chanyeol could give the other a last chance to explain who the guy at the warehouse was. It might be stupid and his head was protesting harshly and letting off loud alarms but his heart told him to simply trust Baekhyun. 

 

If it didn’t work this time either and Baekhyun failed to convince him of his sincerity towards him, Chanyeol would definitely drop him. It might be difficult, but he would do it. He’d completely cut ties with Baekhyun and let Junmyeon take care of everything. His heart lurched at the thought but he knew that it was the only thing he could do.

 

With his newfound determination and the adrenaline that his freshly taken decision sent through his body, Chanyeol took his phone out of his pocket and typed a message that he read through a few times before sending it to the person who managed to make him do things he would have never even imagined doing a few months ago.

 

 **To** : Baekhyun

_‘Meet me in my apartment in a bit. We have things to talk about and this time, we’ll talk about everything properly, with questions and answers. I’ll wait for you until tomorrow morning and if you don’t show up, I won’t contact you ever again. I’ll expect you not to contact me again either and I’ll forget about all of this.’_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If there was one thing that Chanyeol particularly hated in whatever he had with Baekhyun, it was the fact that he most of the time felt like a little puppy following his owner around, doing anything to entertain him and make him happy, and moving at a single snap of his fingers. Chanyeol had never felt like that before, he never really had an actual relationship either but he always liked being in control, both in his personal life and his professional one. That wasn’t the case with Baekhyun, though. He was far from being in control.

 

However, for the first time ever, when Chanyeol walked into his apartment more than half an hour later, he felt like the owner instead of the entertaining pet. For the first time, Baekhyun was waiting for him there after _Chanyeol_ had asked him to come. For the first time, Baekhyun hadn’t been the one to call for him through a message containing a few words. For the first time, Baekhyun didn’t look arrogant and confident as he was waiting for Chanyeol without the latter’s knowledge. It felt nice to feel that for once, Chanyeol had been in control of something in whatever twisted relationship they had. 

 

Actually, everything was so different than usual. Baekhyun had probably picked the lock again but he didn’t look amused by it and Chanyeol didn’t feel exasperated either, Baekhyun wasn’t sprawled on his couch as if he owned both the place and its only inhabitant. Instead, he stood up as soon as Chanyeol walked into the living room and he was beautiful, as ever, maybe more than ever, maybe because Baekhyun just continued glowing more and more in Chanyeol’s eyes with each passing day or maybe just because Chanyeol had missed him. It was enough to lay his eyes upon the shorter for Chanyeol to realize just how much he had missed him, even if Baekhyun looked so much different than usual. The first thing that Chanyeol couldn’t help but notice was that the usual playful sparkle in his droopy eyes was dimmed, almost non-existant, and instead, dark shadows had bled into the skin under his eyes, heavy bags of exhaustion clinging to his skin, his posture wasn’t as confident as usual either, his shoulders were almost dropping down, as if he was scared of what Chanyeol had called him here for, and a frown was etched on his lips. He looked tired, dejected, as if he hadn’t gotten any sleep in a long time and the worry Chanyeol couldn’t help but notice in his eyes only made everything worse. He almost felt bad when the sight brought a small spark of satisfaction in him, Baekhyun had probably been through bad days just as much as he had and he was almost glad, knowing that he might be the cause of it.

 

However, the usual feelings Baekhyun ignited in him overshadowed that wicked satisfaction and he had to tighten his hands into fists and dig into the tender skin of his palms with his nails in order to keep himself from surrendering to the urge of taking Baekhyun into his arms and apologize for everything, whether he had been the one at wrong or not. He wouldn’t do that. No matter how small, weak, and fragile Baekhyun looked right now, his eyes almost pleading as he looked up at Chanyeol, silent, like a condemned man who was waiting for the rope to tightened around his neck and cut his breath off forever. He looked so fragile and for a split second, Chanyeol wondered how he had even managed to see Baekhyun as cunning or manipulating that day at the warehouse. None of that rage was remaining now but it seemed like Baekhyun wasn’t aware of that fact, if his silence was any indication. On the contrary, Chanyeol had really missed him and now that he thought about, their fight had been so useless. Had it really been? He wasn’t sure actually but it had costed him four full days without any of Baekhyun’s smiles directed at him and now that he could drown his gaze in the shorter’s, Chanyeol realized that it was so much easier to breathe this way.

 

When had he come to the point of being unable to breath when Baekhyun wasn’t near him? Had it always been like that in the past? What did it mean? Chanyeol had never felt this way, he didn’t remember feeling this way and he didn’t like it. Baekhyun held so much power on Chanyeol and the latter didn’t even care right at that moment, he was satisfied with just being able to see that Baekhyun was safe and healthy with his own two eyes. That was all that mattered and the heavy weight that had been sitting on his chest slowly started fading away. Everything was so unfair but it didn’t matter.

 

Was it really, though? Baekhyun had come to meet him with a single message, he had even reached Chanyeol’s house before the latter did, as if he had rushed here as soon as he had gotten the message, as if he had been waiting for those few words from Chanyeol. As if he had been scared by the small threat that his message had contained. As if Chanyeol held as much power over him as he did over Chanyeol. He wasn’t even sure what that meant but it felt nice, soothing.

 

"You came," Chanyeol said after a few silent seconds during which neither of them moved, Baekhyun standing in front of the couch and Chanyeol still on the doorway, stuck between the living room’s entrance and the entrance hall that would lead him out of the apartment.

 

"You asked me to," was Baekhyun’s soft reply. None of them moved. Chanyeol took a few seconds to savor the echo of Baekhyun’s voice in his rather empty apartment.

 

"I didn’t actually expect you to come."

 

"I know, that’s why I’m here."

 

Still no smile and yet it was familiar, the particular way Baekhyun had of speaking with words hidden beneath another layer of words, meanings Chanyeol had to figure out on his own by carefully listening to each separate syllable falling of Baekhyun’s pink mouth. Pink with a small ring of red. The corner of his lower lip was still bruised from where Chanyeol’s fist had collided with it when they had fought. A pang of guilt squeezed his heart. Baekhyun didn’t seem angry anymore, maybe just a bit sad. He had so many things to say but Chanyeol found himself unable to part his lips from fear of what could escape him. 

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun broke the silence again after a few seconds, taking a step closer to the taller, hesitant despite the fact that his gaze was steady as it locked with Chanyeol’s. "About that day in the warehouse… I’m sorry."

 

When asking him to meet, Chanyeol had expected a lot of things, disappointment if Baekhyun didn’t show up, betrayal if Baekhyun did show up but with a bright smile and poisonous touches that Chanyeol would surrender to, pain if Baekhyun would be there just to confirm every accusation that had been thrown at him before, or even anger if Chanyeol would’ve had to fight the other off again. An apology hadn’t even crossed his mind, especially not one coming from Baekhyun first when he had thought until now that he was the one who had to apologize. Surprise mixed up with relief, coursing through his veins and sending his heart into an unexpected tremor. Baekhyun’s voice was dripping with sincerity, hesitation, as if he was expecting Chanyeol to reject him, as if he was still hurt, as if the tears from the warehouse were stil running down his cheeks.

 

"Why?" Chanyeol asked, doing his best not to let any emotion stain his features. Was Baekhyun really sincere? Or was it another one of his traps? Had there ever been any trap to begin with?

 

He watched as the other worried the flesh of his lower lip with his teeth, digging into the bruise there and probably sending jolts of pain through his body. He didn’t seem to care, as if he was punishing himself. Chanyeol had never seen Baekhyun looking so tortured. Maybe their fight had been a good thing, even if he felt a knot forming in his throat at that sight.

 

Baekhyun’s voice was almost wobbly when he spoke again.

 

"I’m sorry," he repeated, "For acting in a way that put all those negative thoughts into your head, for allowing that to happen. I didn’t know you’d ever think that I was manipulating you or using you like that, it never came to my mind and hearing that from you…" He inhaled deeply. "It just hurt. The fact that you didn’t trust me, probably rightfully so, was painful and I just felt so angry when you spoke of our past as if it was nothing important when really, it’s what I’ve been clinging to for the past ten years. I never really took your feelings into account, maybe I was a bit too selfish, but I swear, I didn’t do anything wrong to you, I never intended to hurt you at all, on the contrary. I’m doing everything I can for you to be safe and happy and I’m aware of the fact that I can be selfish sometimes, that I always leave you in the dark, and that you’re allowed to grow tired of it but I didn’t actually expect that to happen. I’m really sorry, for hurting you and for continuing to focus on my own feelings when I started that fight with you. I’m just really sorry and I hope you can give me another chance."

 

Chanyeol remained quiet until Baekhyun’s voice died down, listening to his apology with attention, drinking every single word that fell from his mouth and washed over him in a wave of relief. It wasn’t much, just a simply apology but it was a sincere one and for Chanyeol, the only thing that mattered was that Baekhyun was aware of his wrongdoings. He stayed silent, thinking about what he should reply as he observed Baekhyun growing fidgety under his insistant gaze. It was satisfying, seeing that for once, Baekhyun was the helpless one and that he felt the same emotions Chanyeol always drowned under.

 

When he stayed silent for too long, Baekhyun took a step towards him again and if Chanyeol was not mistaken, his fingers were shaking slightly, hidden beneath the long sleeves of his sweater. It felt as satisfying as it felt painful. Maybe it was his own way of punishing Baekhyun for all the pain he had been put through until now.

 

"Look, I’m really sorry," Baekhyun repeated, voice edging towards despair and panic. "I swear I’ll be more careful, I’ll reply to your questions as much as I can. I’ll make more efforts, I’ll explain things to you. You misunderstood what you saw in the warehouse and it’s my fault but I’ll really explain it to you and-"

 

"Are you okay?"

 

Chanyeol finally spoke, his low voice drowning out the rest of Baekhyun’s sentence. He felt much better now and he wouldn’t be able to bear seeing the state Baekhyun was in for much longer. He had heard what he needed to hear and he had seen the sincerity in Baekhyun. That was stupidly enough for him.

 

"What?" Baekhyun asked, seemingly dumbfounded.

 

"I said, are you okay?" Chanyeol repeated, gesturing towards the general direction of Baekhyun’s body with his hand. "I was there last night at the warehouse where they tried setting up a trap for you. I saw you getting out of it while holding onto your waist but it was too dark for me to actually see what was wrong with you. I rushed there because I thought it was too late but you were already leaving when I arrived."

 

"You were there? To help me?" Baekhyun asked, surprise still apparent in his features. "I thought you…" he trailed off, looking away.

 

Chanyeol understood what he meant, even without the end of his sentence. Baekhyun had thought Chanyeol had purposefully kept that information away, he had thought that Chanyeol was really done with him and actually wanted him to die in that warehouse. He didn’t know when he had acquired the ability to understand some of Baekhyun’s thoughts but this one stabbed his heart like millions of needles. Was that why Baekhyun looked so panicked as he apologized? 

 

Suddenly, Chanyeol was tired of holding up that façade when all he wanted to do was to take Baekhyun into his arms and reassure him, tell him that he would never, never do anything to harm him, that he would never ever allow anyone else to hurt him. The urge to do just that hit him, as sudden as the snap of a lightning in the sky, and the next second, Chanyeol found himself erasing the remaining steps that separated him from Baekhyun, his arms wrapping around the latter’s smaller form and pulling him against his chest. As he felt Baekhyun’s own arms wrapping around his waist, his nose brushing the skin of Chanyeol’s neck, and his body relaxing in his hold, Chanyeol took a deep breath. It was so much easier to breath now, with Baekhyun in his arms, safe and away from any danger. Chanyeol would do anything to protect him after all. His heart seemed to rejoice at their embrace and as he felt it thundering in his ribcage, Chanyeol tightened his hold around Baekhyun as if scared that the other would suddenly vanish from between his fingers. His heartbeat was loud, too loud, louder than ever, and Chanyeol couldn’t understand why but it just felt so nice to have Baekhyun in his arms again, after everything. He heard the other form yet another apology against the skin of his neck and Chanyeol parted his lips, heartbeat louder than his own words.

 

"I’m sorry too," he whispered, fearing that a louder tone would shatter this dream. "For everything, for our fight, for accusing you like that. When I saw you with another man, I just… I don’t know what happened to me, I just turned into someone completely different and I just poured everything into you like that. I’m sorry," he apologized, burying his nose in the sweet scent that oozed from Baekhyun’s silky strands of hair. He still regretted that jealousy, that anger, and the bunch of other negative feelings he had felt burning through his body that day. He still regretted them and he still couldn’t understand them.

 

He felt the other shake his head, fingers digging into his waist. Maybe Baekhyun was scared that Chanyeol would suddenly vanish too. It was suddenly difficult to breath again and Chanyeol pulled away, just enough to be able to see Baekhyun’s face as the other looked up at him. He took a deep breath, gaze dropping to Baekhyun’s lips. He watched as they curved into a small, genuine smile that seemed to glow and pull Chanyeol out of the dark fog he had been lost in for the past four days. Baekhyun looked up at him, so small, so fragile, so beautiful and Chanyeol felt himself slipping, falling as he looked at a smile that was filled with the innocence of a child who wanted nothing but to be with him forever. 

 

Something poked the back of his mind and Chanyeol leaned forward, closing his eyes as his lips pressed against Baekhyun’s.

 

_"Why do you always kiss me on the cheek before leaving the warehouse? We’re always leaving together," the voice of a child said, full of laughter and curiosity in spite of the biting cold surrounding him. The door didn’t close properly anymore and the blanket they had picked off the street was small, barely enough for two. They had both grown taller than last winter. Chanyeol had turned twelve years old more than two months ago._

 

_"Because my aunt always kissed my uncle’s cheek before he left for work," someone replied, the voice muffled against his chest._

 

One of Chanyeol’s hands cupped Baekhyun’s cheek as their lips brushed together, fleetingly, as if he was kissing a dream. It wasn’t a dream, though, the fingers digging into his skin through the fabric of his shirt reminded him that this wasn’t a dream, Baekhyun was in his arms after four full days filled with nightmares. He was thankful for the other’s hold on him, he might not be able to hold himself properly on his own, he felt locked between two worlds, as if one of his feet was lingering in the past, behind him. His heartbeat was loud but it couldn’t distract him from the soft sensation of Baekhyun nuzzling his lips against his. His eyes fluttered open the slightest, just enough to see Baekhyun’s closed ones.

 

_"It’s like to say ‘have a nice day at work’ I think. To wish good luck."_

 

_"We don’t work, Baekhyun."_

 

_Laughter._

 

_"That doesn’t matter! People who love each other kiss all the time, silly."_

 

_"People who love each other kiss on the lips, though."_

 

Baekhyun was beautiful even from a closer distance, his eyes closed, his features relaxed, his breath tickling Chanyeol’s skin as their lips chased each other, savoring the feelings that coursed in the air between them. Chanyeol’s eyes fluttered close as he watched the pictures in his mind and he pressed his lips against Baekhyun’s more firmly, putting an end to the chase and breathing out through his nose when finally, finally he could kiss Baekhyun properly. It was like a dream, one that followed him around for years.

 

_"On the lips?" A question asked with curiosity, childlike and innocent despite the harsh world it was pronounced in._

 

_A heartbeat in his chest. A fleeting and shy brush against his lips, dreamlike and sweet like the cotton candy that Baekhyun had managed to steal from the street marchant last summer. A first kiss. Another heartbeat. And another. And another. Quicker, continuous._

 

Chanyeol was slipping between the past and the present, unable to stick himself in one place, taking in the memories with as much eagerness as he felt when Baekhyun parted his lips open for him, granting him access to his warm and welcoming cavern. His heartbeat picked up and he wondered if Baekhyun could hear it, if Baekhyun could taste the memory in their kiss.

 

_"Does that mean you love me?"_

 

_A soft chuckle. Shy, innocent, lovely. Warm against the cold breeze tickling his body._

 

_"I love you a lot, Chanyeol-ah."_

 

They were both breathless by the time one of them broke the kiss but Chanyeol kept his lips against Baekhyun’s, unable to bear the thought of being too far from the other. It was nice to share their breath through their parted lips that kept brushing together from time to time, their eyes closed. Chanyeol felt tipsy, drunk on the taste of Baekhyun’s lips, dreamy as his mind kept lingering on a memory. Baekhyun tightened his hold around him and leaned on the tip of his toes, seeking for another kiss. Chanyeol indulged, pressing gentle pecks on his mouth, breathless, drunk on a dream he lived. The next thing that left his lips wasn’t a sigh.

 

"I love you," he whispered against Baekhyun’s lips, between small pecks and longer kisses, eyes closed, Baekhyun’s fingers tangled in his hair, his breath tickling his lips, the tip of his nose brushing against Chanyeol’s. He almost couldn’t hear himself over the loud sound of his heartbeat. 

 

Was that it? Was that what the bundle of feelings Baekhyun kept him locked in was called?

 

_"I love you too, Baekhyunnie. I always will."_

 

He felt Baekhyun’s breath hitching against his lips and then something glowed, something that blinded him in spite of his closed eyelids. Light. 

 

His eyes fluttered open and he caught sight of the smile he dreamed about every single night. Shy, innocent, lovely. Brighter than ever. 

 

"I love you too, Chanyeol-ah," he heard before he was swept away by another kiss that seemed to pour light into his veins. He felt a furious heartbeat against his chest. It wasn’t his but it beat as fast as his own.

 

_"Stay with me forever?"_

 

_"I will. We’re going to survive together, right? Until we’re old and die only out of age, together."_

 

_"In a big house that belongs to us and with a lot of money in our pockets?"_

 

_"Of course, we’ll be rich and happy together for the rest of our life. We have to stay together until then."_

 

_"Nothing will ever separate us, right?"_

 

_"Nothing."_

 

Chanyeol would make sure to keep that promise.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Light dripped into the dark room through the small slits on the blinds that Chanyeol had hastily pulled down a few days ago without pulling them up again, not really bothering with it since whether the room would be bathed in sunlight or not, it would still feel lonely. It was quiet, the sun had risen a few hours ago or maybe it had risen a few minutes ago, Chanyeol wasn’t sure, he had lost the notion of time a while ago. It was dark, and yet, Chanyeol felt as if the moon was right beside him, sitting on the windowsill and dusting his room with small particles of light. Or maybe it was the sun, lazily peeking at him through the closed window, begging to be let inside and warm his cold home up. Either way, his room felt anything but dark, gloomy, or lonely.

 

After minutes, or hours, spent staring at the person whose head was resting on the pillow next to his, Chanyeol concluded that it wasn’t the sun, the moon, or any kind of artificial light. It was just Baekhyun.

 

The scene was almost painfully familiar to a day they had already been through a few weeks ago, or was it a few years ago? Chanyeol wasn’t sure, he felt as if he had just spent forever with Baekhyun but at the same time, he knew that as soon as the other would disappear out of sight, he would mourn the short time they had spent together. However, Baekhyun was still sleeping next to him, snuggled under the warm blanket and against Chanyeol’s chest, half of his face once again hidden against the pillow, his longer strands of hair spread over its white fabric. A few weeks ago, Chanyeol had spent most of his night staring at Baekhyun because he knew that the latter would disappear as soon as he would wake up. Today, Chanyeol was staring at him because he had rediscovered Baekhyun last night and he wasn’t sure why but he had a feeling that Baekhyun wouldn’t try leaving him like he had done last time.

 

It was so similar to what they had been through a few weeks ago and yet, it was completely different. Chanyeol felt like a new person, he was looking at Baekhyun as if he was someone completely new too and after pondering on it, he had decided that maybe it was because he was finally able to put a name on what he was feeling towards Baekhyun after last night. And the latter had confessed feeling the same way.

 

Love.

 

It was such an easy word to pronounce, just four letters, a single syllable that rolled easily on one’s tongue, a word that some could form on their lips after a few minutes, maybe even after only a few seconds. However, Chanyeol hardly remembered ever pronouncing it to anyone in his whole life, even if he only remembered ten years of it.

 

He had never really felt the need to say it, not to Junmyeon who took him off the streets and raised him, not to Minseok who was always harsh on his trainings but who never missed patting Chanyeol’s back at the end of the day, not to Jongdae who was full of nonsense most of the time but who always made sure to keep the ties between all of them strong, and not to Jongin who was the closest thing to a brother that Chanyeol would ever have in his life. He didn’t really know what it was, he hadn’t exactly experienced it even if he did think that he loved all of Venom’s members, it was just something unsaid between all of them, something that was shown only by keeping each other alive. It wasn’t even something that Chanyeol had ever felt the need to feel. Emotions weren’t exactly welcomed in his field of work and wouldn’t it be a pure contradiction to be able to feel something so pure for someone when you earned money by heartlessly killing people everyday? Chanyeol had always been told that love was a weakness, something that people could use against him, something that people would take advantage of, and something that he shouldn’t really be looking for, which he hadn’t done. He knew nothing about it and never really felt it.

 

However, it made sense. It just did. As his gaze traveled over Baekhyun’s relaxed features, as he felt the other’s fingers gripping his shirt as if he feared that Chanyeol would suddenly disappear in the middle fo the night, it made sense. Everything he had gone through with Baekhyun, the passionate hatred when they had first met, the lingering thoughts, the inability to ever get Baekhyun out of his head, the need to constantly know whether he was safe or not, the way he seemed to forget about everything else whenever they were together, and the jealousy that had consumed him that day when he had seen Baekhyun in another man’s arms. It all added up and Chanyeol could finally put a name on it now. It was love. It was crazy, maybe stupid, but he loved Baekhyun and last night, as he was getting lost in Baekhyun’s kisses, it was a simple realization, something that just suddenly popped in his mind, like a thought that one would forget right when they were about to say it aloud and that would only be remembered later, resulting in them blurting it out as soon as possible from fear of forgetting it again. Chanyeol supposed that it was a pretty accurate description. 

 

Now, it finally dawned on him, though. He loved Baekhyun and it was a bit scary, not because it was something that he had never felt before, but because it was something that Chanyeol knew he had been feeling for a long time. Maybe he had fallen in love with Baekhyun years ago, when they were both kids, and maybe that feeling had never ceased to exist in him despite being hidden underneath the thick layers of his mind. The thought was nice, somehow. However, that feeling could give Baekhyun even more power over him than he already had, Chanyeol was completely at his mercy now that Baekhyun knew the way he felt about him. It was a bit scary but not really, Chanyeol felt as if it was only natural and maybe it really was.

 

Moreover, Baekhyun returned those feelings and somehow, that made it okay. Chanyeol could tell that he might have as much power over Baekhyun as the latter had over him and the simplest way to know was to look back at the other’s attitude last night, when he thought Chanyeol didn’t want to have anything to do with him and when Chanyeol suddenly blurted those three words out. Baekhyun had looked so happy after hearing those words, he had looked liberated last night, as if he had feared never hearing them again, which made sense since he knew the other had thought that Chanyeol had basically left him to dead in that ambush. It wasn’t a battle of power, Chanyeol believed it now, it wasn’t about who had more power over the other, it was simply about loving each other despite everything. Chanyeol had a feeling that Baekhyun had waited long years to hear those words again, ten long years and while Chanyeol didn’t remember anything, Baekhyun had spent ten long years waiting for him, waiting to hear those gentle words again. His heart painfully twitched in his chest at the thought before beating crazily against his ribcage. 

 

Baekhyun loved him back and it was odd, this should be the last thing on his mind when both Venom and Cobra were still trying to track Baekhyun down, but it felt nice and Chanyeol wanted to allow himself to just feel. It wasn’t even actually foreign, it felt natural to love Baekhyun.

 

"You know, taking a picture would be much easier."

 

The gentle voice that caressed his ears was laced with sleep and unexpected but Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile when he heard it. Baekhyun’s eyes were still closed but of course, he’d know that Chanyeol was staring at him.

 

"Why?" he simply asked, smile widening when he felt Baekhyun tugging on his shirt to pull him closer. He indulged, sliding closer to the other and wrapping his arms tighter around his smaller body, leaning to press a kiss on his forehead before looking down again to meet Baekhyun’s half-lidded eyes, sleep still bathing in his dark orbs.

 

"You could just stare at a picture of me instead of staring at me the whole night and losing sleep. I’ll pose for you if you know how to ask nicely," Baekhyun almost purred as Chanyeol’s fingers ran through his hair, his voice teasing and amused.

 

"I wasn’t staring at you for the whole night. I like sleeping more than I like you," he lied, playfully narrowing his eyes at Baekhyun.

 

"You can’t lie to me, Chanyeol. You tend to move around a lot when you’re sleeping and you haven’t moved even a finger for more than an hour now," Baekhyun yawned, nuzzling against the crook of Chanyeol’s neck.

 

"How long have you even been awake for?" Chanyeol chuckled, genuinely curious but not even embarrassed. 

 

"I don’t know, maybe an hour?"

 

"Why did you pretend that you were asleep then? I died of boredom at least twenty times while waiting for you to wake up."

 

"I never forced you to stay in bed while waiting for me to wake up," Baekhyun raised a brow, looking up at him again, before an amused smile spread on his lips. "And I like feeling your gaze on me so i didn’t do anything."

 

"You were literally clinging to my shirt the whole night as if you thought I would disappear," Chanyeol snorted, a last attempt at winning this playful battle.

 

"Don’t tell me you’re not strong enough to pry the fingers of a sleeping person off your shirt," Baekhyun snorted as well, shaking his head. "I guess you’re getting older and weaker."

 

Chanyeol frowned at those words, fingers tightening on Baekhyun’s silky strands before he tugged his head back in a harsh movement, smiling victoriously when Baekhyun winced a bit.

 

"I guess you’re getting weaker and more fragile," he said teasingly, feeling himself drown in the waves of mirth that kept growing bigger in Baekhyun’s eyes.

 

"You’re also getting kinkier," was Baekhyun’s only reply and Chanyeol couldn’t help but chuckle at that, loosening his hold on Baekhyun’s hair to ruffle it instead.

 

Baekhyun’s reaction was instant and as Chanyeol felt his hair slowly grow knotted and puffy under his palm as he continued ruffling it, the other groaned in protest and kicked Chanyeol away with his leg, though it turned out to be useless since Chanyeol’s other arm was still wrapped around him and he didn’t even budge an inch.

 

"You know I hate that!" Baekhyun protested as he grabbed Chanyeol’s hand, digging his nails into his wrist to stop him.

 

And it was odd, because Chanyeol had never done that before and yet, he had known that this would be the best way to irritate Baekhyun. Must be another habit of his unconscious. Either way, the result was satisfying and he couldn’t help but grin in amusement as his gaze trailed over Baekhyun, his hair that had been silky and perfect a few seconds ago now looked like a bird’s nest, some strand sticking out here and there, brushing his furrowed eyebrows and emphasizing the irritated yet soft glint in his eyes. It was adorable and Chanyeol felt a gentle flame wrap around his heart, not turning it into ashes and destroying it but instead, keeping it warm and alive.

 

"Do you get grumpy as hell each time you lose at something?" he asked teasingly, watching protesting words form on Baekhyun’s lips but blocking them by pressing a gentle kiss on his soft couplets.

 

That seemed to calm Baekhyun down and instead of trying to stab him with his fingers or kicking him out of his own bed, he simply clung to Chanyeol, pliant under the taller’s hand and responsive to their lazy kiss. Chanyeol had never started a day this way before, not with a warm body next to his or the comforting feeling of not being alone when he’d wake up, but he tried imagining how it would feel to wake up this way everyday, with Baekhyun in his arms, his playful jabs, and his soft lips against his. It was a nice thought.

 

They spent a few more minutes in bed, playfully bickering, sharing lots of kisses, and just savoring each other’s presence, as if nothing in the world could ever snatch them out of their small cocoon or warmth, as if no one would ever be able to burst their bubble of happiness. Chanyeol knew that he was only lying to himself, there were so many things awaiting them outside, too many dangers, too many questions still left unanswered but he was still drunk on Baekhyun’s kisses, he was still only getting used to the thought that he _loved_ Baekhyun and he didn’t really want to think about anything else today. Baekhyun seemed to share the same thoughts as him since he hadn’t tried leaving even once and generally looked calmer than ever, as if he had sorted some things out just like Chanyeol had and maybe their fight had really led them to take good decisions of their own. 

 

When they both decided that they were too hungry to spend more time in bed, they got out of it and  headed to the kitchen, Baekhyun not forgetting to slip on one of Chanyeol’s shirts while all the while looking at him with an amused smirk, as if he knew how much Chanyeol loved seeing him engulfed by the oversized piece of clothing. He probably did, because Baekhyun knew everything and it amazed Chanyeol as much as it irritated him sometimes. They tried putting on a proper breakfast with the few edible things Chanyeol had in his kitchen and somehow, Chanyeol managed to learn more about Baekhyun in those few minutes spent trying to cook breakfast. Baekhyun might be able to aim correctly with a sniper riffle from afar and never miss his target but he was really clumsy and managed to break one of the four eggs Chanyeol managed to find in the fridge before looking up at Chanyeol cluelessly, as if he didn’t even know how to actually clean it up. Hadn’t he been so adorable, Chanyeol would have made him clean it on his own just to show him that he couldn’t act as if he owned the place and Chanyeol was at his commands but the latter came to learn that he _always_ lost against Baekhyun and ended up cleaning the floor on his own while Baekhyun sat on the counter, promising him to not touch anything else until everything was ready.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t a great cook, far from it, but he had managed to survive on his own for years without dying of starvation so cooking a few eggs had been rather quick. It was unfortunately all they would eat because Chanyeol didn’t really have proper and healthy food in his kitchen besides frozen dishes and tons of unhealthy snacks. Baekhyun told him that it was okay as long as he wouldn’t burn the eggs and that they could always go out to eat when they’d get hungry afterwards.  Chanyeol had discerned the promise of spending the day together beneath those words and a smile hadn’t left his face until everything was ready and Baekhyun was finally allowed to move and sit at the small table that held nothing but scrambled eggs, a few pieces of bread, cheese, and coffee. It wasn’t much but somehow, with Baekhyun smiling at him so brightly, it was enough for Chanyeol.

 

However, he knew they had things to discuss after what had been said last night and he was aware that opening up some subjects might ruin everything now but he didn’t want to stupidly tell himself that everything would be okay, he still had to remain realist and he remembered Baekhyun’s promise about being more honest with him.

 

"You didn’t reply to my question last night," he said after a few minutes of comfortable silence during which they ate, not awkward but simply focused on their small meal.

 

His question seemed to snap Baekhyun out of his thoughts and the latter looked at him in surprise before putting his glass of orange juice down to give Chanyeol his whole attention.

 

"Which question?" he asked and Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether he genuinely didn’t remember or if he was just trying to avoid the subject.

 

"About your wound," he explained calmly. "Did you get hurt during the ambush?"

 

"Oh," Baekhyun let out, as if he had been expecting something else. "I’m fine, a bullet only grazed my waist but it’s nothing too bad, don’t worry," he shrugged.

 

Chanyeol simply hummed, taking a sip of his coffee and letting silence settle over the room for a second. He then took a deep breath and looked at the person in front of him again.

 

"You’re going to reply to my questions now, aren’t you?"

 

"I’ll do my best," Baekhyun replied after observing him for a second and Chanyeol smiled a bit. He had been expecting a mocking reply, something that he wouldn’t even understand, but Baekhyun replied to him normally and maybe he really had learned his lesson after their fight.

 

There were so many questions to ask and Chanyeol knew that he wouldn’t be able to push Baekhyun to the end, the other might have accepted being a bit more helpful but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try escaping again if Chanyeol abused of that promise. He had too many things to ask, too many explanations to demand and yet as he observed Baekhyun, looking smaller than usual in Chanyeol’s oversized shirt, his teeth worrying his lower lip as he waited for the next words that would escape him, Chanyeol’s mind could only come up with a single question.

 

"Who was that man in the warehouse?" 

 

That question had been the sole source of their fight, the reason why they had been through so much pain, and the one that had creeped into Chanyeol’s mind day and night, refusing to leave. That stranger was the only reason why Chanyeol had snapped at Baekhyun a few days ago and he now knew that the flames of jealousy that had consumed him were useless and unfounded but he still didn’t get any explanation as to the guy’s identity. He felt a low fire still burning in his veins at the mere memory of Baekhyun hugging the man so intimately.

 

Baekhyun seemed to be expecting that question, judging by his calm reaction. Or maybe it was because he had nothing to fear. Either way, Chanyeol knew that his attitude might take a drastic change depending on Baekhyun’s reply.

 

"We don’t have the kind of relationship you assumed we had, that’s for sure," Baekhyun chuckled and it was exactly fake but it wasn’t sincere either, just a bit awkward.

 

Chanyeol didn’t laugh however. "Anyone would’ve assumed the same thing if they stumbled on you hugging another man so intimately in _our_ special place with a mattress at your feet."

 

"It does sound bad when you put it like that," Baekhyun offered him an apologetic smile before sighing. "He’s the person who’s been helping me all this time, since the day we got separated. If I’m able to breath today, it’s only thanks to him. He helped me survive all this time and he was all I had until I found you again, I would’ve been left all alone to deal with myself in the streets if not for him. I’m also all he has right now, we’re like brothers so there really is no need to be jealous. I’m not cheating on you with him or anything of that sort, he probably would try killing you for even imagining something like that between us," he chuckled softly once he was done with his honest explanation, something that Chanyeol hadn’t expected.

 

"You’ve known him for a long time," he hummed, soothed even if it still didn’t settle well with him.

 

"Yes, for years. I guess we have a similar relationship to the one you have with Junmyeon, only way more genuine."

 

Chanyeol frowned a bit at the mention of the elder but didn’t comment on it, not ready to breach that topic with Baekhyun again. 

 

"If there’s nothing between you two then why did he run away like that when he saw me?"

 

"I guess he was flustered," Baekhyun shrugged. "He didn’t expect to meet you so soon and maybe he was also a bit scared."

 

"Of what?" he asked, confused.

 

"It’s just not safe for you or anyone else to see him," Baekhyun replied after a second, words probably chosen carefully.

 

"Why?" he pressed.

 

"It just isn’t, Chanyeol. It’s not safe for you to know too much about him either right now," Baekhyun concluded and Chanyeol sighed when he sensed the plead in his voice. He didn’t want to talk about this any longer and Chanyeol dropped it, knowing that it was already a huge progress that he managed to retrieve so much information out of him. Instead, he chose to ask something equally as important.

 

"How did you know about the ambush? Who gave you the information?" he asked, gaze carefully boring into Baekhyun’s eyes to catch any emotion that would give more information to Chanyeol than his words.

 

He caught the small amused spark in his dark orbs and almost already knew what the other was going to reply. 

 

"Why? Are you jealous of that person too?" Baekhyun asked, smile amused. "How cute."

 

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol simply said, tone soft but still carrying a warning that seemed to reach Baekhyun’s ears, judging by the way the other rolled his eyes.

 

"There really is someone helping us but I unfortunately can’t tell you who, it would be too dangerous both for you and that person."

 

He had expected this reply and yet, Chanyeol couldn’t ignore the weight of disappointment on his shoulders. At least, it was confirmed that there really was someone helping Baekhyun out but he had no clue as to the person’s identity. Could it really be someone from Cobra? His mind flashed back to Jongdae and the way Junmyeon had not suspected him at all, pouring all the accusations on Chanyeol instead. It couldn’t be Jongdae, he was the last person who’d act as a spy for an enemy.

 

"Is it someone I know?" he still insisted, hopeful.

 

"No," Baekhyun replied before smiling a bit. "You don’t know anyone, Chanyeol. You can’t ever actually know someone for real, everyone has things they hide, things that they would never let anyone know. You don’t actually know anyone."

 

Chanyeol sighed, those few sentences sounding like a difficult riddle to his ears. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration but did his best to stay calm, taking a sip of coffee to regain his senses while thinking about his next question. At least, Baekhyun was giving him half-replies and that was way more than usual.

 

"Why did you find me now? I mean, why now and not three years ago or two years later?"

 

That was actually a question he had thought about a lot. There had to be a reason why everything was happening now and once again, it was linked to their common past. Why had they been separated? Why hadn’t Baekhyun tried looking for him for ten whole years when Chanyeol was still here, in the same city? It would have been easy to find him, wouldn’t it? Unless you stayed away from anything related to the underground world which obviously wasn’t Baekhyun’s case.

 

He watched as Baekhyun’s shoulders deflated a bit, as if he had just remembered that he was carrying something way too heavy for him on his back. He looked at Chanyeol for a few silent seconds and the latter thought that maybe, Baekhyun would give him a complete reply this time.

 

"I only found you two years ago, Chanyeol. Before coming back to Korea, I thought that you were dead all this time," he replied, pulling Chanyeol’s eyebrows into a frown.

 

"You came back to Korea? Where were you before?"

 

"I had to leave for the States ten years ago, when we were separated," Baekhyun shrugged, once again hiding his emotions behind nonchalance.

 

"Why?"

 

"It just wasn’t safe here for me."

 

"So you’ve been hiding for ten years now," Chanyeol hummed, trying to match this information to everything he already knew. Baekhyun had been running away from something or someone and that explained how he managed to survive for this long without Junmyeon finding him. He had experience in that field. "What made you think that I was dead, though? I remember that I was injured badly when Junmyeon found me but otherwise, I don’t really see why you’d think that way."

 

"Remember the fire you talked about once? You remembered that a few weeks ago," Baekhyun sighed and it took Chanyeol a few seconds to nod. He had almost forgotten that again, flashes of a fire and his trashing body calling out for Baekhyun in fear. "I thought you died that day, in that fire," Baekhyun continued softly, voice barely audible, as if the mere memory hurt his core.

 

Something prickled Chanyeol’s heart as he observed the other. Baekhyun had really suffered a lot these past ten years while CHanyeol had no idea about anything concerning him, their memories forgotten. Baekhyun had thought that Chanyeol was dead for eight whole years and Chanyeol couldn’t even imagine how painful that must have been when he remembered how difficult it had been to breath two days ago when he thought Baekhyun was going to die in that trap. Baekhyun had suffered so much and Chanyeol didn’t know how it happened or what actually happened, but he hated whoever put them in this state. 

 

"But in that memory, I was calling for your name while looking at the fire. It’s blurry and I don’t remember properly but I think I thought that you were dying in that fire," Chanyeol replied, just as softly.

 

The corners of Baekhyun’s lips curved into a small smile that oozed sadness. "I guess Fate just played with us, cruel as ever."

 

Chanyeol stayed silent for a few seconds, returning Baekhyun’s gaze as the latter observed him. He could feel his gaze trailing over each of his features, as if he was making sure that all of this was real, that Chanyeol was really there, in front of him, alive. Under the table, Chanyeol felt his foot brush against something before he hooked his ankle around Baekhyun’s, as if telling him that he was there, alive.

 

"Why did you still wait for two years before contacting me then?" he then asked. Some things still didn’t match.

 

"I just," Baekhyun started before cutting himself off with a sigh. "I just took some time to prepare myself to meet you. It was really difficult, you know," he chuckled softly, avoiding Chanyeol’s gaze. 

 

"Why?" Chanyeol asked for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

 

"I thought you were dead for eight whole years, Chanyeol," Baekhyun shook his head, frowning as he reminisced the pain that that thought brought to him. "When I found out that you were alive I was ecstatic, I was so happy and I couldn’t wait to see you again so we could go back to how things were before even if it was a bit scary because eight whole years had passed and I changed a lot, just like you did. I was really scared for some reasons, scared that you wouldn’t want me anymore, that you might hate me, that you might ignore me and tell me to disappear, that you’d blame me," he stopped, taking in a shaky breath before looking at Chanyeol again, tightening his mask after these few seconds of honesty. "But then I was told that you didn’t remember anything, that you were a completely new person and that you had forgotten me and it just felt really unfair because I had suffered for eight years while mourning you but you were alive and didn’t remember anything. I was even more scared but… I still had to find you so I wanted to do anything to contact you again but I had to wait for the right moment and prepare myself, because I knew it wouldn’t be easy at all."

 

As Baekhyun’s voice died down and he took a deep breath, Chanyeol realized that he was doing the same thing after holding his breath for a major part of Baekhyun’s reply. Breathing was almost painful as he listened to Baekhyun’s words, the sadness that he couldn’t hide, the hesitation, and the images that flooded Chanyeol’s mind. Baekhyun had suffered so much all this time and once again, Chanyeol felt like the worst person on earth for making him go through the same thing again when Baekhyun had thought that Chanyeol left him for dead in that trap. He yearned to take the other into his arms and tell him that everything was okay, that nothing would ever be able to separate them again, that he would make sure of that, but he had to keep asking questions because this was one of the rare times Baekhyun was actually willing to be honest with him and Chanyeol needed to clear his head up. He still couldn’t entirely understand why would Baekhyun think Chanyeol hated him or blamed him but there was still some progress.

 

"Two years still seems like a long time," he said gently, never once looking away from Baekhyun.

 

"I would have waited longer if not for something that made me and the guy you saw in the warehouse decide that this was the right time," he shrugged.

 

"What was it?" Chanyeol asked, leaning forward a bit.

 

Baekhyun looked at him, biting his lower lip in what Chanyeol supposed was worry and hesitation. 

 

"Something bad is going to happen soon, Chanyeol, and we had to intervene now to prevent it."

 

"Something bad? How bad? And what does it have to do with me?" Chanyeol asked, heartbeat suddenly picking up.

 

"It doesn’t directly have something do with you but…" Baekhyun started before realizing what he was about to say and pursing his lips.

 

"What? Finish your sentence," Chanyeol frowned.

 

"It’s not safe for you to know, Chanyeol," Baekhyun said, tone clearly indicating that he didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

 

However, Chanyeol was tired of always hearing the same sentence over and over again.

 

"Baekhyun, nothing is safe for me in this world, I’m an assassin. Just tell me, I deserve to know if all of this is affecting me so much," he insisted.

 

"No, Chanyeol. You’re not ready to know yet."

 

"Why?!"

 

"Because you’re too hot headed!" Baekhyun argued. "Don’t you remember what happened in the warehouse because you jumped to conclusions on your own?" he said, shutting Chanyeol up who pursed his lips bitterly at the memory of their physical fight. "It’s just not safe for now and I really don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I can’t lose you a second time, Chanyeol-ah," Baekhyun continued when Chanyeol remained silent, tone softer.

 

Chanyeol knew he was right, he did, but it still was so unfair, even if he did get more replies than what he had hoped for. He took a few seconds to himself, remaining silent and proceeding everything that had just been said. It wasn’t much but it still was a step closer to figuring out the big puzzle that Chanyeol’s life had become in the span of a few months.

 

He looked at Baekhyun again, meeting the other’s gaze and reading the plea in it. Baekhyun didn’t want to talk about it anymore and Chanyeol knew he was scared but he couldn’t understand why. Why did Baekhyun want him to remember so much but still looked incredibly frightened at the mere notion of Chanyeol finding out more information and remembering everything? He couldn’t understand.

 

"What if I never remember you completely?"

 

Chanyeol’s voice echoed against the kitchen’s walls after almost a full minute of silence and the question had escaped him without his realizing. It was yet another question that he thought about a lot. He glanced at Baekhyun, planning to look away immediately but finding himself locked in his dark and yet dazzling gaze. Baekhyun was looking at him so softly, so gently, so genuinely and Chanyeol felt his heart reaching out to him, beating with an emotion that Chanyeol knew he would never ever forget.

 

"That’s okay," Baekhyun shook his head, reaching over the table to tangle his fingers with Chanyeol’s as a smile spread on his lips, a small, fond one. "I love you for you, not for our memories. As long as I’m still the light you need in order to survive at night, everything will be okay, right?"

 

And Chanyeol found himself lost in the playful melody those words carried to his ears but he caught on the hesitation hidden behind the stars sparkling in Baekhyun’s eyes. He smiled back at him, never looking away as he tightened his hold on Baekhyun’s hand.

 

"You’ll always be," he replied, sincere, his heart already completely free of any shadows or darkness. Baekhyun’s smile was too bright for him to focus on anything else.

 

"Then, do you want to spend the whole day with me like we used to do when we were younger?" Baekhyun asked, a chuckle laced with his voice, joy apparent in the way he suddenly looked stronger, back straight, and gaze sure. As if Chanyeol’s words could reassure him as much as his reassured Chanyeol.

 

The latter couldn’t help but agree, unable to refuse anything to Baekhyun, like he knew it had been the case in the past. The way his heart was rejoicing in his ribcage told him that it would definitely be the case in the future too and oddly, Chanyeol was okay with it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As it turns out, Baekhyun’s notion of a day like they used to have in the past was simply spending a few more hours in the apartment to watch TV and laze around while clinging to Chanyeol before going out to have lunch and then dragging Chanyeol around until they found an ice cream shop. Chanyeol had protested a lot, warning Baekhyun about the dangers of roaming outside so freely while two of the city’s most dangerous crime groups were looking for him but Baekhyun simply waved him off, reassuring him that they won’t be looking for him in ice cream stores or expensive shops in the city. Unable to convince the other and surrendering to the effects Baekhyun’s childish and yet adorable attitude had on him, Chanyeol was only left with the burden of being exceptionally careful and observing of his surroundings. However, the fact that Baekhyun kept holding his hand to drag him around made everything better and somehow, Chanyeol did feel like an enamored child letting their crush dragging them around while being unable to refuse anything they offered. 

 

"You know, you don’t have to stick yourself to me like that, I can protect myself if anything happens," Baekhyun said as they were simply walking around the busy streets of one of Seoul’s most popular districts, expensive shops and street food surrounding them on all sides along with the crowd that they were lost amongst. "Unless, of course, you’re simply using this situation as an excuse to feel me up."

 

"I’m not feeling you up," Chanyeol protested, furrowing his eyebrows even if he felt no real anger or irritation, only amusement passed to him through Baekhyun’s smile.

 

"You’re not letting me move away from you even by an inch," Baekhyun raised a teasing eyebrow, tugging Chanyeol’s hand to emphasize their locked fingers.

 

"You grabbed my hand first," was the only thing Chanyeol could come up with.

 

"I know I said we were supposed to spend the day like we used to do when we were kids but that doesn’t mean you have to act like a petty middle schooler," Baekhyun snorted amusedly. 

 

"There’s too much people around, why are we even roaming around here? What if someone recognizes you?" Chanyeol argued instead of letting Baekhyun drag him into another childish battle.

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun sighed, exasperated despite the wide amused grin on his lips. "Look around, do you see any dark and dangerous looking idiot here? There’s only teenagers trying to show off to their friends, couples on cheesy dates, or old ladies shopping. Nothing is going to happen, just relax."

 

Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun was right, chances of anything dangerous happening to them here were really low but he couldn’t help it, it was almost natural to worry about Baekhyun and want to protect him. However, he felt the shorter give his hand a reassuring squeeze while smiling at him understandingly and he relaxed the slightest, taking a deep breath before smiling at the other.

 

"Did we really spend our days like this? Basically roaming around and doing nothing?"

 

"Well, the only difference was that we didn’t pay for things we ate. We just stole them, or rather, I used to steal things because you’re just not discreet at all," Baekhyun chuckled softly, taking a step closer to Baekhyun when someone almost bumped into him as they stood on the sidewalk in front of a seemingly busy clothing store. Chanyeol draped an arm around his shoulder to pull him even closer. "We didn’t really have anything else to do than to roam around the streets either anyway."

 

"How did we survive on stealing things alone?" Chanyeol asked, curious.

 

"Well, I guess we were just really good at that and had a lot of luck for that side of things. Though, sometimes just pleading for money wasn’t enough and we used to pickpocket too. Or again, _I_ used to pickpocket to earn money or grab a hold of expensive jewelry by selling it back to shady people," Baekhyun shrugged, still smiling. 

 

Chanyeol could tell that Baekhyun loved talking about their childhood, when there was no one else but the both of them and at least, he could learn more about that part of their life.

 

"Aren’t you too loud to pickpocket?" Chanyeol asked teasingly, smile widening when Baekhyun huffed.

 

"Want me to demonstrate how good I am at pickpocketing?" he then asked, pulling away from Chanyeol a bit and smiling widely. The curve of his lips and the glint in his eyes screamed trouble.

 

"You’re not going to fucking pickpocket people right now, Baekhyun," Chanyeol shook his head, frowning when Baekhyun’s smirk only widened. "You have all the money you need!"

 

"I said we were going to live this day like we used to do before so that’s what we’re going to do. Just watch and admire. Don’t forget to praise me later either," Baekhyun said before stepping away from Chanyeol.

 

"Wait, you-" Chanyeol started protesting only to groan when Baekhyun waved him off and stepped further into the crowd, leaving Chanyeol to watch as he potentially put himself in danger.

 

He should have never agreed to letting Baekhyun out of the house. 

 

He was left to nervously watch as Baekhyun dived further into the crowd, hands shoved into his pockets and eyes roaming around as if he was just taking a casual walk around the street. Chanyeol couldn’t help but follow him, lingering a few steps behind as he basically prepared himself to take Baekhyun and run away if something were to go wrong despite Baekhyun’s irritating confidence. A few seconds later, it seemed that Baekhyun had found his target because his eyes zeroed on a middle-aged woman coming towards him, hands full of shopping bags from different but equally expensive stores and a haughty expression plastered on her barely wrinkled face. Her golden earrings sparkled under the sunlight and she completely looked like one of those rich ladies who loved competing with her friends about who’s clothes were more expensive. She looked like a perfect target.

 

Baekhyun seemed to think so too and Chanyeol realized it a few seconds later when he saw Baekhyun looking to his left as if observing what was presented behind the glass window of a store  while bumping into the woman, the whole ordeal looking casual and accidental when coupled with the startled expression that Baekhyun painted on his face when looking at the woman who dropped a few of her shopping bags, surprised. Chanyeol was too far away to actually hear what was being said, the crowd around him bustling loudly, but he could imagine from the woman’s expression that she was about to politely and yet harshly scold Baekhyun for not looking in front of himself while walking. However, she seemed to swallow her words back when Baekhyun immediately spoke, looking at her with that charming yet apologetical expression, uttering a few words before leaning down to gather her shopping bags. He held onto them for longer than necessary, gaze boring into the silent woman’s and spoke again, lips curved into that beautiful smile that alway cut Chanyeol’s breath away. It seemed to have the same effect on the woman who never once looked away from him.

 

Curious, Chanyeol stepped closer to them until he could hear Baekhyun’s faint voice.

 

"Why is a lady as beautiful as you carrying those heavy bags? Isn’t there a nice husband who should be eager to please you and make you feel like royalty under any circumstance?" Chanyeol heard faintly and he almost, _almost_ cringed at those words but it seemed to please the woman who probably blushed under her heavy load of makeup, judging by her red ears. 

 

"Well," the woman started, completely charmed. "I mean… Thank you," was all she could say and Baekhyun chuckled softly, as if endeared. It hadn’t even been a full minute yet and he already had the woman in the palm of his hand.

 

He shook his head a bit, that charming smile still hung on his lips as he leaned forward, his free hand gently grabbing the woman’s before he brought it up to press a gentle kiss on the back of it, like a true gentleman would do to a lady. Chanyeol watched as the woman almost swooned, a wide smile curving her painted lips up. Baekhyun was really good at charming people, manipulating them, and Chanyeol wasn’t sure how he felt about that but it was still interesting to watch, even if he could still feel that familiar prickle of jealousy in his chest at the sight of Baekhyun charming someone else. 

 

"Make sure to tell your husband to be there to carry your bags next time or someone more good-looking than him will do it with great pleasure," Baekhyun uttered gently as he let go of her hand and gave her the shopping bags back.

 

They uttered a few more words before Baekhyun waved to her with a bright smile and walked towards Chanyeol again, grabbing his hand and dragging him past a few shops so they could leave the woman behind and never see her again. Once they stopped in an alley between two blocks, Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun, shaking his head in mock exasperation at the smug smile that he offered to him.

 

"I can’t believe you," he simply chuckled before observing the other. "What did you take? I didn’t see you take anything from her bag or her pockets."

 

Baekhyun simply smiled wider, eyes sparkling with mischief as he raised his fisted hand to Chanyeol’s face and loosened his fingers to let a bracelet swing between two of his digits. It was seemingly made out of gold with a few diamonds integrated into the knots and it looked really expensive. It was the lady’s bracelet. 

 

"I took it when I kissed her hand, it was worth it," was the only thing Baekhyun replied with, shrugging smugly.

 

"I didn’t even notice you taking it and I was looking at you the whole time," Chanyeol noted, rather impressed.

 

"I told you I was really good at this."

 

"She saw your face, though. What if she files a complaint against you?"

 

"She’s too dazzled to even notice her bracelet is missing right now and she won’t even think about me once she’ll notice it. She’ll probably be looking for it in all the stores she visited," Baekhyun shrugged again, shoving the expensive bracelet into his pocket as if he had done the same thing a hundred times already.

 

Chanyeol, who realized that he had been worrying for nothing, was left speechless for a second as he stared at the smaller. He felt himself falling a bit harder and it was probably not a good thing but at this point, he didn’t care at all. Baekhyun seemed to know because he stepped closer to Chanyeol, his arms wrapping around his neck.

 

"You’re crazy," Chanyeol chuckled softly when he felt Baekhyun’s lips brushing his.

 

"I guess I’m crazy about you, yes," Baekhyun replied in a low voice before pulling the taller into a kiss that left both of them breathless, Chanyeol’s head cloudy as the taste of Baekhyun lingered in his mouth even once he pulled away.

 

Only then, he winced. "Your cheesy words only work with old and love-deprived ladies."

 

"Is that why you kissed me so eagerly?" Baekhyun asked, raising a brow teasingly.

 

Chanyeol simply chuckled in amusement, remaining silent as he observed Baekhyun. If that was the way they used to spend their days together, then Chanyeol could understand why Baekhyun kept talking about happy memories of their childhood together. He couldn’t really imagine himself caring about anything else as long as Baekhyun would be here to smile at him brightly enough to keep the darkness of their miserable life in the streets away. 

 

"That’s how everything started, you know," Baekhyun said after a while, pulling him out of his thoughts.

 

"What?" Chanyeol asked, still a bit dazed by their kiss.

 

"You once told me you remembered something about us training together before, right?" Baekhyun asked, looking up at Chanyeol hesitantly.

 

However, Chanyeol knew exactly what he was talking about, it was a memory that he had regained when they were fighting together a few weeks ago in that ambush, when Dongwook and his men tried attacking Chanyeol after refusing a deal and Baekhyun had suddenly appeared out of nowhere and fought alongside Chanyeol. He had gotten flashes of training together with Baekhyun in their childhood and when he had talked to the latter about it once they were home and taking care of each other’s bruises, Baekhyun hadn’t offered any explanations.

 

"Yeah, I remember," Chanyeol frowned. "There was also a man with us telling you to work harder but I can’t really remember who he was or what he looked like."

 

Baekhyun simply gave him a tight-lipped smile.

 

"A man took us in for training when we were twelve," he then started explaining and Chanyeol’s heart skipped a beat. It was rare for Baekhyun to give him more information without him having to ask for it first. "I just tried pickpocketing someone one day because we were really getting desperate, we hadn’t eaten anything in more than three days and last time I had tried stealing something from a store, we almost got caught. So I just found a group of men who looked as if they had thick wallets. I didn’t think about it properly and you were there with me, trying to stop me, but you were starting to get sick and I just had to do something," Baekhyun chuckled softly, as if he was fond of that memory.

 

"Your recklessness seemed to always get us into trouble," Chanyeol comment, with a soft chuckle. How he wished to be able to remember each of those events Baekhyun shared with him.

 

"It did," Baekhyun shrugged, smiling in amusement before slipping back into a bit of seriousness. "I tried stealing the wallet of the man who seemed to be the less dangerous one but of course, I got caught. I bumped into him as if by accident and managed to grab his wallet but before I even could walk away, he grabbed my wrist and stopped me. I guess he had experience in this kind of stuff," he stopped for a second, sighing.

 

"He wasn’t just a random man," Chanyeol figured.

 

"No, he was actually the leader of a gang and I guess we’re both just really unlucky. What were the odds of us getting involved with that kind of person?" Baekhyun chuckled but Chanyeol couldn’t join in, discerning the sadness in that soft melody. "He got a bit angry but he was mostly amused. I guess I couldn’t just stay silent and it only ticked him off. He wasn’t alone, there were two other men with him and he asked them to teach me a lesson. Of course, you were there watching me from afar and you immediately stepped in when things were turning bad. You always did that, taking in the consequences of my wrongdoings," his voice died down as he looked away from Chanyeol.

 

"I’m sure it was always worth it," the taller said, smiling a bit as his hand reached to cup Baekhyun’s cheek to make him look up at him again. He didn’t like the sorrowful curtain draped over his beautiful features.

 

Baekhyun smiled a bit more brightly, his hand resting over Chanyeol’s on his cheek. 

 

"You kinda tried fighting them off and I helped you, we got pretty good at fighting after years in the streets but we were still only kids and they were full-grown men, members of a gang nonetheless so we didn’t stand a chance. But you didn’t give up, even if they were merciless while the leader just stood there and watched. We were also really weak from malnourishment and I really did think that it would be the end there for us," Baekhyun continued, gaze lost somewhere behind Chanyeol’s shoulder, maybe in the memory that he was reminiscing. "But you were always really good at fighting and then, I don’t know how you managed to do that but you found a piece of glass from a broken bottle on the ground and you actually stabbed one of the men."

 

Chanyeol should be surprised by that but somehow, he could imagine that scene playing in his mind. He already knew that back then, he would’ve had done anything for Baekhyun and he might’ve been only a child but he knew that they had both gone through the worst of things. It wasn’t that hard to imagine himself stabbing someone to keep Baekhyun alive instead and that was rather disturbing but not that surprising.

 

"I guess we were both really stupid back then," he said, hoping that his voice didn’t hold any hint as to the pain he still felt about not being able to remember that.

 

"We were, I’m not sure which one of us was the worst," Baekhyun chuckled softy and his gaze found Chanyeol’s again, sparkling, honest, and gentle. "But the leader was rather impressed by us and I don’t actually remember what happened afterwards because I was on the verge of passing out after being beaten so much but the next thing I knew, we were in a warm and huge mansion. The leader was in front of us, offering us to join him and let him train us to become one of his men one day. Maybe that had been the most stupid decision we had taken."

 

Silence settled over them once again when Baekhyun’s voice died down and Chanyeol repeated his words again in his head, relief bubbling in his chest when one more piece of the puzzle that his life had become was in place now. He at least knew how things had turned out to be such a disaster now, he knew the source behind both his and Baekhyun’s skills. He still had questions to ask, about the man’s identity, what happened afterwards, and so many things but one look at Baekhyun was enough for him to keep all of it to himself. The shorter looked drained out, as if recounting that memory had been particularly exhausting for him and Chanyeol figured that it had been, that was when everything went wrong after all. The beginning of their end maybe, even if it was, in a way, the end of their insignificant life.

 

"I guess we thought that it was better than living in the streets," he said after a while, gaze trailing over Baekhyun’s features.

 

"It was," Baekhyun sighed, smiling a bit. "It was really nice actually, it helped us a lot and if it were to happen again, I know we’d both take the same decision."

 

Those words seemed to hide something darker, something that Chanyeol should definitely ask about but the downwards tug of Baekhyun’s lips prevented him from doing so. It would come eventually, he knew it. After their fight, the atmosphere between them, their relationship, had considerably softened and there wasn’t as much stubbornness or fear, it was calmer and way easier to be with Baekhyun now. He was already more willing to share information than he had been a few days ago and Chanyeol knew that they only needed time. Even if he knew they were running out of it. Everything could happen too quickly, everything was still so dangerous and Chanyeol’s mind flashed to Jongin for a second. He hadn’t gotten any news regarding his progress in hacking into Junmyeon’s files.

 

"Anyway, thanks to them, I learned how to win over you when fighting," Baekhyun said, his teasing voice cutting through Chanyeol’s thoughts.

 

He raised an amused brow. "I remember winning over you all the time though."

 

"You only have _one_ memory of winning against me, Chanyeol," Baekhyun huffed, grabbing his hand to tug him out of the alley they had been hiding in. 

 

The streets were still as busy but somehow, Chanyeol felt like he had just left another world to come back to the real and harsh life that awaited them out there. He stayed close to Baekhyun, making sure that no one would bump into them as they stood in front of a street food merchant.

 

"Which does mean I only remember winning over you," Chanyeol shrugged, playful and amused by the way Baekhyun seemed to turn everything into a battle or a competition.

 

"Well, either way, I can kick your ass whenever I want now," the other said, giving Chanyeol that infuriatingly attractive smile that he wanted to hide from the rest of the world with his own lips.

 

"Only if I allow you to do it," Chanyeol shrugged, returning Baekhyun’s smile with mirth.

 

"We already established the fact that you’d allow me to do anything to you," Baekhyun uttered, his low voice wrapping around Chanyeol’s heart like a knot that he’d never be able to untangle.

 

He tugged the other closer by his hand, forcing Baekhyun to look up at him as he leaned closer, adrenaline coursing through his veins. They were surrounded by a lot of people, they were in public and they shouldn’t act so intimately but Chanyeol found himself pulled in by the appealing sparkle in Baekhyun’s eyes. It always seemed to pull him in, he always came back to it, following it like a desperate and lost ship following the safety of a lighthouse.

 

He felt Baekhyun’s breath hitching when he pressed a hand on his lower back to pull him closer, their clothed chest almost brushing. 

 

"I’m pretty sure you’d allow me to do anything to you too. You’d probably even take great pleasure in anything I’d do," he replied, voice slipping into a low whisper. He felt Baekhyun’s hand gripping his shoulder, his heart stammering in his chest.

 

Before he knew it, his eyes closed when Baekhyun pushed ont his tiptoes to press his lips against Chanyeol’s, kissing him openly in public, without even caring about who might see them or recognize them, without paying mind to the fact that they would receive disgusted glares from the passerby’s. However, Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun had always been reckless and when he felt him prodding at his lips, he parted them open, letting Baekhyun pull him into a kiss that was far too passionate for where they stood. Their tongues tangled together, dancing recklessly and yet passionately, fighting for dominance without any of them actually winning. This wasn’t a battle, it was just their hearts beating together, their lungs filling with each other once they pulled away enough to lock their gaze together.

 

Chanyeol gave Baekhyun a curious look, silently questioning him as he felt his breath tickling his lips.

 

"A group of teenagers have been eyeing you for a while now. I just thought it would be fun to shatter their dreams," he explained, voice low and breathy. His eyes were shining with mirth and a dark, fiery shadow that Chanyeol recognized as arousal. His grip on Baekhyun’s waist tightened and he knew that the same glint was nestled in his own dark orbs.

 

He dragged his gaze away from Baekhyun’s with difficulty and glanced to his right where a group of young girls were standing, frowning at him and whispering amongst themselves. An amused chuckle bubbled in his throat as he looked back down at Baekhyun.

 

"Look who’s acting like a jealous brat after mocking me about it this morning," he teased the other, biting his lower lip to prevent a wide grin from spreading on his face. It felt nice to know that he wasn’t the only one feeling this way, it was reassuring.

 

Baekhyun simply huffed, stepping away from him a bit to grab his hand again, enchanting gaze boring into Chanyeol’s.

 

"You’re mine, Chanyeol. I waited for so long and I’m not going to let anyone even imagine snatching you away from me."

 

Before even giving Chanyeol the occasion to reply, Baekhyun dragged him further into the crowd and the taller simply chuckled softly, heart beating crazily in his chest as he let Baekhyun lead him towards the opposite side of the street to take the way home, together.

 

There were still too many people around but they never let go of each other, never allowing the other to get lost in this buzzing crowd that they both ignored. Too many things were still left to think about and yet, Chanyeol couldn’t take his eyes off Baekhyun. He was the only thing Chanyeol liked to keep in his mind and he knew that he would never be able to get him out of it, even if he knew this entrancing effect Baekhyun had on him might cost him his breath one day.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Silence stretched over the room like the curtain of darkness that was a result of the lack of lighting, the blinds closed, windows locked in order not to let even a single string of light into the small bedroom whose sole inhabitant was sprawled over the bed, blanket pulled over his head to conceal his whole body except for the few strands of his untamed bed hair that were sprinkled over the pillow. His chest heaved up and down slowly, in a continuous and easy rhythm that he never broke, Morpheus’ fingers turning Chanyeol’s body into a heavy weight that he couldn’t even feel as his mind got lost in dark dreams that he wouldn’t even remember once he’d open his eyes. Not that the prospect of opening his eyes was even appealing, he had fallen asleep no more than three hours ago, long after the sun had started painting the sky in orange, blue, and pink colors that Chanyeol hadn’t even paid attention to, lost in the paintings that he created in his own head instead.

 

Therefore, Chanyeol wasn’t planning to wake up at all until maybe the sky would be painted blue, pink, and orange again as the sun would slide down to disappear behind the skyscrapers planted all around the busy city. However, nothing ever went as Chanyeol planned it and even in his sleep, he wasn’t even surprised when he suddenly heard the shrill and violent sound of a phone vibrating against the wooden surface of his nightstand. It pulled him out of his mildly peaceful but well-needed slumber and he reacted with a loud groan that almost echoed in the emptiness of his bedroom, drowning out his phone’s calling for his attention for a few seconds before he attempted ignoring it, whoever was calling would call again if it was that important. 

 

However, long seconds passed and the device was still vibrating loudly and Chanyeol threw the covers off his body, irritation causing him to snap his eyes open to look at the ceiling and curse whoever disturbed him when he had been craving to actually sleep for almost a full week now. His movements were slow as he turned his head to his right, glaring at the device that was the only source of light in the room, before he raised his arm with difficulty, the weight of exhaustion still tied around his fingers and pulling his limb down to the comfort of his mattress. He forced himself to move, however, reaching for his phone, and as soon as his fingers collided with the screen of his phone, the device quietened down and stopped vibrating. Chanyeol froze for a second, heaving out another sigh that unfortunately served no purpose in pushing the sleepiness out of him.

 

Right when he was about to just give up and dump his heavy body down on the bed again, the phone started vibrating again and Chanyeol cursed loudly, grabbing it again and planning to answer the call to lash out on Jongdae or Jongin for calling him so early in the day, hoping to relieve his irritation by doing it since usually, no one else but those two called him. However, as he brought the phone towards his face, eyes squinting to battle his blurry sight and managed to actually see the name written on the screen, he froze, any kind of sleepiness or irritation drained out of him. 

 

He had expected it to be Jongin, Jongdae, maybe even Baekhyun, but the name that glared a him as his pone vibrated in his hand hadn’t even crossed his mind and Chanyeol found himself in a weird mix between disappointment, panic, and confusion. Maybe a small part of him had hoped that Baekhyun would finally call him after almost a full week of silence from his part, an enormous lapse of time in Chanyeol’s eyes, one that was spent stressing over the reason why Baekhyun wouldn’t call him at all after that day spent together. It had been nice, almost thrilling but mainly relaxing and after spending the night in Chanyeol’s tiny apartment, laughing together, loving each other, and letting their sounds of pleasure dance in the air together for a long amount of time that Chanyeol hadn’t even registered, Baekhyun had disappeared in the morning. Nothing was surprising about it and Chanyeol had only felt a little disappointed but it had been okay because he figured that they would keep contact, that Baekhyun wouldn’t leave him hanging anymore, but almost a week had passed since that day and he hadn’t heard anything about the other. It was irritating to say the least but Chanyeol didn’t feel as bad as he usually did because this time, he knew that he could trust Baekhyun. Instead, he just felt worried the whole time, crushed under  dark and negative thoughts about what could’ve happened to Baekhyun.

 

He didn’t even have any means of knowing whether the other was still alive or not anymore ever since Junmyeon completely pulled him out of anything related to the issue between Baekhyun and Cobra. Chanyeol didn’t even try convincing the elder of taking his words back, knowing that it would only make Junmyeon more suspicious than he already was, and simply settled on Jongin’s knowledge about the situation to keep him updated from time to time. The latter was busy as well, going on meetings, closing up deals and completing his duties as a member of Venom while trying his best to hack into Junmyeon’s computer without letting the elder grow suspicious of him as well. Chanyeol didn’t even feel like actually dealing with Junmyeon anymore, he had lost every single ounce of trust he had been harboring for the elder until now and couldn’t even stand being near him when he questioned each word that left Junmyeon’s mouth. It wasn’t really anger nor hatred, maybe disbelief, disappointment, and a deep want to avoid the notion that Junmyeon might be hiding really important things from him. He hadn’t seen the latter since that day, managing to avoid him and only contacting him by message whenever he needed to report about the few kills he had done the past few days. Junmyeon hadn’t tried contacting him either, probably still upset and suspicious, and Chanyeol didn’t feel particularly bad about it, it was easier to avoid someone when they weren’t actually looking for you. 

 

However, it seemed that all of this was coming to and end and he sighed again, swiping his thumb over the screen before bringing the phone to his ear.

 

"Junmyeon hyung?" he croaked as a greeting, voice husky from sleep. He cleared his throat, listening to the other’s voice.

 

 _"Were you sleeping?"_ were Junmyeon’s first words, dripping with amusement, something akin to fondness, a sound that made Chanyeol’s stomach churn. 

 

"Yeah, I went to bed only a few hours ago," he replied automatically, giving Junmyeon more information than he needed. It was irritating, the way words just seemed to slip out of his mouth whenever he was addressing Junmyeon, as if the latter pulled Chanyeol’s thoughts out of his head with a wicked spell that the assassin had a hard time avoiding.

 

 _"I see,"_ the other hummed. _"I’m sorry for waking you up then."_

 

"It’s alright," Chanyeol replied despite wanting to hang up and bury himself under his blanket again, away from any kind of issue that awaited him outside the walls of his apartment. "Is something wrong? Why did you call?"

 

 _"Why? Does my call make you unhappy?"_ the other replied, shutting Chanyeol up. He knew this tone of voice, he could discern the teasing edges in the words coming from the other and yet, Chanyeol felt as if Junmyeon could read right through him even if they weren’t actually facing each other. 

 

"No," Chanyeol replied, hoping that he sounded convincing enough. "Of course not, hyung. It’s just been a while so I’m surprised, that’s all."

 

 _"I’m aware of that,"_ he heard Junmyeon sigh. _"That’s why I’m calling you actually. It’s been a while and we left each other on pretty bad terms since that conversation about Light. I know you’re kind of upset with me so I’d like to invite you out for lunch so I can properly apologize for what happened."_

 

Junmyeon’s voice died down after that but Chanyeol’s surprise only kept increasing and he couldn’t form any kind of reply for a few seconds. He hadn’t expected these to be Junmyeon’s words and his still hazy mind had some difficulties processing everything. Was Junmyeon really asking him out for lunch just to apologize when only a few days ago he had been rather hostile and distant at the same time while accusing Chanyeol of being the one to leak the information about the ambush to Light? Why did he change his mind so quickly? Should he really trust the other blindly? Probably not, he wouldn’t be able to actually trust the other anyway and he wasn’t even sure whether this was sincere or not. The wisest thing to do would be to find some kind of excuse to avoid this friendly lunch date that might only make everything worse for Chanyeol, he could just say that he was tired and ask to postpone it to another time, he could also just say he had already promised Jongin to have lunch with him, he knew the latter would always be ready to cover for him.

 

However, as he thought about it, Chanyeol wondered if that would only make things worse. If Junmyeon realized that Chanyeol was avoiding him, he might only grow more suspicious of him and maybe this was even a way for Junmyeon to test Chanyeol. The assassin had never actually gotten upset at Junmyeon and the latter was aware of it, he had said it himself that day, that Chanyeol was getting angry at any mention of Light’s name and that he was acting oddly. If Chanyeol kept acting as if something really was wrong then Junmyeon would suspect him more and that would only make everything worse. Moreover, Baekhyun hadn’t contacted him in so long and he knew next to nothing about what was happening with Cobra. If he managed to phrase it correctly enough, Junmyeon might even let some kind of information slip and in the worst case, he’d probably gloat about finally catching Light. This might be a good occasion for Chanyeol to gather information and he shouldn’t let it slip nor ruin it by acting reckless like he always did. 

 

_"Chanyeol? Are you there?"_

 

The voice that sizzled on the other side of the line pulled him out of his thoughts and Chanyeol snapped back into the phone conversation, clearing his throat.

 

"Yeah. Yeah, I’m here sorry," he apologized.

 

 _"So what do you say? Wanna get lunch with this old man? My treat,"_ Junmyeon chuckled, voice clear and soft. That sound might have been once comforting to Chanyeol but now, he was merely trying to discern even a single drop of insincerity in the notes that popped against his ear through the receiver.

 

"Of course," he finally replied, forcing himself to chuckle. "I can’t say no to free food, you know that."

 

 _"Of course I know that,"_ Junmyeon laughed softly and Chanyeol bit his lower lip. Of course, he knew everything about Chanyeol, more than the latter would ever know about him. _"Meet me in half an hour then, it’s already nearing lunch time anyway and it’s not like you were going to eat more than a single meal today anyway, right? I’ll be waiting at the usual restaurant."_

 

Chanyeol simply muttered a few words to let Junmyeon know he had heard and understood him before hanging up and finally letting himself drop on the bed again, lips parting to let out a long sigh, the air leaving his mouth carrying traces of stress and irritation. He had a and feeling about this and he hated having to do this but it was too late to back off anyway and Chanyeol knew that if he didn’t leave right away, there was no way he would reach the restaurant in half an hour. Junmyeon was a rather patient man but making him wait might not be the best the thing to do for Chanyeol nowadays, the elder was constantly irritable and he didn’t want this lunch to turn into disaster.

 

Without wasting more time, he forced his worn down body to leave the confine of his warm bed and dragged himself to the bathroom where he splashed water over his face and ran his hand through his hair instead. He wasn’t planning to put any efforts into his appearance no matter how expensive the restaurant Junmyeon awaited him at was, the other was used to it anyway and wouldn’t call Chanyeol out on it. Heading back to his room, he quickly changed out into a decent outfit, a grey sweater over black jeans that didn’t make him look too sloppy. He then grabbed his car keys and his phone, yet another sigh escaping his lips as he headed out of his apartment a few minutes later, unsure about the outcome of this meeting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t difficult to spot Junmyeon as soon as he stepped into the restaurant, the waiter who was somehow always there whenever Chanyeol stepped into the place was once again there to lead him to Junmyeon with a simple greeting, not even needing Chanyeol to say anything to know that he was there to meet the elder. As he stepped towards the back of the room, their usual spot that was a bit father away from the several other tables and perfect to have conversations that might not be appropriate for the ears that might hear them, was occupied by Junmyeon whose eyes were  focused on the screen of his phone. It wasn’t surprising, Junmyeon was always busy and Chanyeol didn’t even try keeping up with his schedule usually but he was glad of it for once as it had made it easier to avoid him. 

 

He took advantage of Junmyeon’s attention being on something else to observe him as he stepped towards their table, eyes raking over the elder’s expression for any hint as to what would be said while they were eating. Junmyeon didn’t look too different from the last time Chanyeol had seen him, he was still presentable, hair fixed perfectly, expensive clothes fitting him and only adding to his aura of gentle superiority. He looked less angry, though, despite the faint dark bags that Chanyeol noticed under his eyes, and he didn’t look as if he had called Chanyeol here to accuse him or interrogate him either which was great since Chanyeol didn't trust himself to be alert enough to control his reactions.

 

As if sensing Chanyeol’s gaze on him, Junmyeon looked up and their eyes met for a second until Chanyeol looked down at his fingers that grabbed the chair to pull it away from the table so he could settle on it.

 

"I was expecting you to be late," Junmyeon greeted him with a smile that Chanyeol returned, albeit probably with far less enthusiasm. He could still feel his eyes yearning to be closed. 

 

"You know I hate to keep you waiting for too long," he shrugged, observing the other. 

 

Junmyeon had a smile tugged on his lips and oddly, despite the dark bags, his eyes seemed to have brightened a bit since the last time. He was in a good mood. Things were probably going great at work.

 

"I know, I raised you well," the elder said teasingly and Chanyeol forced a chuckle out despite the way his stomach churned at the mention of the long years they had spent together. "I already ordered your favorite dish so we wouldn’t have to wait for it, it should be here soon."

 

Chanyeol simply nodded, muttering a word of thanks as his hand reached for the full glass of water in front of him. He brought it to his lips, taking a big gulp to sooth the sudden drought in his mouth and the knot in his throat. 

 

"How have you been?" Junmyeon asked, seemingly decided to make Chanyeol talk. 

 

"Fine, just dealing with kills and hanging out with Jongin, nothing unusual. What about you?" he asked, looking up as a waiter finally brought their plates. He would at least have something else to focus on instead of having to look at Junmyeon now.

 

"Nothing unusual as well, just work," Junmyeon replied, giving the waiter a smile.

 

Junmyeon had indeed ordered Chanyeol’s favorite dish and usually, it would make Chanyeol smile, the way Junmyeon knew everything about him, the fact that sometimes Chanyeol didn’t even have to speak for the elder to know what was going through his mind, the things that bothered him or the words he couldn’t say. However, at that moment, it only made Chanyeol feel sick. Junmyeon knew everything about him and yet, Chanyeol knew next to nothing about him, nothing too personal at least. He knew the other’s habits, his favorite dish, what made him angry the most but he didn’t know anything about his past, his family background, the reason why he was the head of the most powerful and feared assassin clan of the country. It had never even bothered Chanyeol until now, it had never mattered but now he knew that it was easy for Junmyeon to read him while the same couldn’t be said about Chanyeol, he wasn’t sure whether he could read the other correctly or not anymore. Most importantly, did Junmyeon really not know anything about what was happening between Baekhyun and him? Or did he know everything but choose to stay silent about it? Could he really read Chanyeol that well? If he knew it, why hadn’t he done anything about it yet? Or was he still only suspecting Chanyeol and didn’t have any kind of proof to confirm his suspicions? 

 

As Chanyeol immersed himself in his thoughts, silence settled over them and they both simply focused on their food, the white noise surrounding them and coming from the other patrons in the restaurant not really serving as a distraction from the heavy tension that hung between them. Or rather, the tension that only Chanyeol seemed to be feeling since Junmyeon looked comfortable and peaceful as he brought a piece of meat to his mouth. Chanyeol wasn’t sure what to say, he still didn’t know how Junmyeon felt despite what had been said in the phone conversation from earlier and he wasn’t sure what to feel either so he simply settled on observing the other for a few silent minutes until Junmyeon seemingly had enough of it and broke the silence with a light sigh.

 

"You know, I really dislike this, Chanyeol."

 

Those words called for Chanyeol’s full attention and he felt his whole body tensing up but looked at the elder with a steady, curious gaze.

 

"What do you mean?" he asked.

 

"This," Junmyeon insisted, gesturing between them with a wave of his hand. "The fact that you can’t even look at me anymore and that you’re so quiet."

 

So he wasn’t being discreet. Unsurprising.

 

"I don’t know what you expect me to say, hyung," he simply replied with a sigh.

 

"I know this is my fault, this is because I accused you like that a few days ago and I understand your reaction," Junmyeon continued, as if he was soothing an upset partner in one of those meetings Chanyeol had attended before. He didn’t like this tone. "I’m sorry, for accusing you like that and causing you to grow negative feelings towards me."

 

Each of the elder’s words were dripping with sincerity, his eyebrows pulled into a frown as he looked at Chanyeol with a glint of worry in his eyes. However, Chanyeol found it difficult to believe when all he could remember while looking at Junmyeon were Baekhyun’s warnings and Jongin’s words about the elder’s request to put a tracker on his phone.

 

"I don’t hate you, hyung," he replied, frowning in what he hoped looked like discontent.

 

"It was Cobra’s requests, Chanyeol," Junmyeon continued justifying himself. "They’re powerful and no matter how strong I am, upsetting them wouldn’t be the wisest thing to do so I had to go with what they wanted. I might have gotten irritated at you that day and said things that didn’t make sense but I didn’t mean it," he leaned forward a bit, catching Chanyeol’s gaze and holding it. "I know you would never do anything of that sort, you would never betray us and you would never do anything wrong to me. I’m sorry for talking without thinking that day, I just crumbled a little under the pressure brought by this whole situation. I hope you can forgive me."

 

To an outsider, this might have looked like an usual scene, a friend, an older brother apologizing to someone younger whom they cared about, but this was anything but usual. Junmyeon wasn’t just anybody, he was a powerful man and Chanyeol knew that the other would be able to count the number of times he had apologized in his whole life on the fingers of one hand. In the underground world, you didn’t apologize, you just went until the end, learning from your mistakes, making enemies, but never stepping all over your honor and your pride and that was something that Junmyeon had taught Chanyeol years ago, a notion that Chanyeol had grown up with and maybe it was the reason why apologizing to someone, anyone, was so difficult for him. However, Junmyeon was willing to go back on those words just to apologize to Chanyeol for something that he actually wasn’t all that wrong about. Chanyeol hadn’t been the one to help Baekhyun for that trap but he had been there, he would have helped if he had been there on time and he probably had done way too many wrong things with Baekhyun to deserve this apology. 

 

Junmyeon didn’t know that, he was genuinely apologizing to Chanyeol, his voice gentle, vulnerable, soothing, as if he was genuinely sorry, the same way he used to apologize to Chanyeol whenever he pushed him too hard when they were training years ago and the younger ended up hurting himself. Junmyeon was still the same and Chanyeol felt a pang hit his heart at the thought. Junmyeon sounded as if he trusted Chanyeol completely, gaze locked into his, and Chanyeol was the one on the wrong side here but he wasn’t the one apologizing. Suddenly, he felt bad, awful, for doing this to the man who had saved his life years ago and raised him to be the powerful assassin he was today.

 

However, Baekhyun’s face flashed behind his eyelids as he blinked and he took a grip of himself again, breaking the eye contact to look down at his plate. He felt choked up. He couldn’t trust Junmyeon, not until Jongin gave him more information, not after everything that happened with Baekhyun. He couldn’t let the other have so much power over him so unknowingly. He cleared his throat, ignoring the beads of cold sweat that he could feel trailing down his back.

 

"It’s okay," he smiled, pouring every ounce of sincerity he could gather into the curve of his lips to look convincing enough. "I know you didn’t mean it, boss. You’re just really stressed out nowadays and I felt a bit upset by those accusations but it’s okay now. We can just forget it, right?" he asked, relief washing over him when Junmyeon returned his smile.

 

"As long as you’re good, I am too," Junmyeon replied, nodding. "I know you can’t stay upset with me for too long anyway," the elder chuckled softly.

 

"You know me too well," Chanyeol joined in the laughter despite hating having to pronounce those words.

 

"I do," Junmyeon shrugged with a smile before focusing back on his food.

 

The silence between them was lighter even if Chanyeol felt more choked up than when he had first walked into this place. At least, he knew that Junmyeon wasn’t suspicious of him anymore and that was one less weight on his shoulders. If the other believed him, then Chanyeol was safe for now. The only thing left to do was to wait for Jongin to finish working on hacking into the elder’s computer.

 

He observed the other while taking another sip of water, noting that Junmyeon looked a bit more relaxed now, as if their conversation had lifted a weight off his shoulders as well. The smile on his lips was lighter and he didn’t seem to be bothered by the silence anymore, any trace of negativity swept away from his face. While observing him, Chanyeol’s gaze caught a small bruise on his jaw and he furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity. It was rare for Junmyeon to ever carry any kind of bruise on his skin despite their field of work since he rarely got into the serious and violent side of things, merely attending meetings between gangs and taking decisions from his office. 

 

"What happened to your jaw?" Chanyeol couldn’t help but ask after a few seconds, both to quench his curiosity and to show the other that there was no problem between them anymore.

 

"What?" Junmyeon looked at him, confusion written all over his face as he let go of his knife to bring a hand up to his jaw, fingers ghosting over the skin.

 

"You have a small bruise there," Chanyeol replied, gaze still focused on the red patch of skin.

 

Junmyeon frowned for a second before realization lighted up his face and he dropped his hand. 

 

"I got it during a meeting yesterday with one of our allies. It didn’t go as well as I thought it would, let’s say."

 

"It got violent?" Chanyeol frowned.

 

"Yeah, they decided to break the ties with us. Minseok was there too."

 

"If that’s the state your jaw’s in, I don’t even want to imagine what happened to them after Minseok dealt with them then," Chanyeol chuckled softly, more at ease now that the topic was switched up to work instead.

 

"You really don’t want to know, you’re right," Junmyeon chuckled, gaze falling back on his plate.

 

"Which gang was it?" Chanyeol asked before bringing a mouthful of rice into his mouth.

 

"Just a small, insignificant one. Whether they choose to stay with us or not won’t affect us at all."

 

"You seem really busy nowadays," Chanyeol commented after a few seconds.

 

"I guess I am. We have to deal with more clients than usual nowadays and there’s still this whole thing with Cobra."

 

He felt almost relieved that Junmyeon brought it up first. "How’s that going, by the way?"

 

"Nothing has changed," Junmyeon replied nonchalantly, gaze settling on Chanyeol. He spoke again before the latter had the chance to ask another question. "If you were to make a choice between people you grew up with and someone who stole your heart, who would you choose, Chanyeol?"

 

That was an unexpected question and the assassin froze for a second, taken aback. His eyes snapped to Junmyeon’s face, raking over his features for any worrying trace of danger, anything to hint at the purpose of that question.

 

"What kind of question is that? That’s so random, boss," he chuckled softly to hide his discomfort even as he felt the weight of Junmyeon’s gaze on him.

 

"I just realized that I never had an actual relationship until now and I’m not sure, I guess you’re the only one I’m comfortable enough with to talk about it," Junmyeon shrugged, seemingly nonchalant about this whole topic while Chanyeol could feel his heart hammering in his chest. A wrong word could ruin everything.

 

"You’re right, now that I think about it I never heard you talk about any kind of romantic feelings towards anyone," he noted, humming softly as he forced himself to stay calm. This might be a trap, a test, or it could just be Junmyeon asking random questions to counter the silence between them.

 

"I guess I’m usually too busy, I barely even think about it but sometimes it just comes to my mind. So, what do you think? What’s your answer?" he insisted and Chanyeol looked back at him, humming in thought for a second.

 

"It might be dangerous to have an actual relationship in our field of work. I guess you think that a relationship might force you to choose between us and the person you have feelings for at one point, right?" he asked, choosing each of his words carefully. He supposed that was true and it was almost ridiculous how that question fitted Chanyeol’s current situation so perfectly. 

 

"It might, depending on the person, I guess," Junmyeon nodded, drumming his fingers over the table, the white tablecloth draped over it muffling the sound. "Moreover, I might have some difficulties trusting someone whose only objective might be to kill me while I’m sleeping in their arms."

 

Chanyeol let out a soft, slightly choked chuckle at that. That was the exact way he had thought about Baekhyun a few days ago, after what he had seen in the warehouse with that stranger. Baekhyun hadn’t even actually explained anything about that stranger, he had just said that Chanyeol shouldn’t worry about him because there was nothing going on between them. He looked at Junmyeon again, leaving his own thoughts behind. He had promised Baekhyun to stop doubting him so much. He couldn’t even outright say that Junmyeon was wrong when he had the same problem himself and being too positive about it might seem suspicious.

 

"You’re right, I think it would be really tiring not to be able to trust that person entirely," he simply replied with a final tone, hoping that Junmyeon would drop the topic now.

 

"Unfortunately," he heard Junmyeon sigh, glancing up at him again to see a light smile forming on his lips. "But it’s okay, I don’t really need anyone in my life as long as I have all of you. Family is what matters the most, right? And at least, I won’t have the occasion to make the wrong choice this way."

 

Chanyeol simply chuckled, putting his utensils down to take a sip of water instead. He felt way too uncomfortable to continue eating and he tried coming up with an excuse to leave instead. Maybe he should try calling Baekhyun again, the last time he had tried was two days ago.

 

"What about you? I never hear you talk about his kind of thing either. Got someone you’re hiding from us or mainly from Jongdae?" Junmyeon asked, teasing him as his lips spread into a playful smile that sent cold shivers down Chanyeol’s spine. 

 

It was hard to tell whether this really was an innocent conversation or not and Chanyeol felt every muscle in his body tense up as he looked at the other, their eyes meeting once again. Junmyeon had always had the tendency to stare into people’s eyes when talking with them and it was something that Jongin had picked up from him as well. It made his counterpart uncomfortable, as if he was staring into their soul and any lie leaving their mouth would immediately be uncovered. It left people no room to hide in, they could usually hardly even break the eye contact and Junmyeon knew it, he used it to his advantage to drown his victims in intimidation and win every battle he walked into. 

 

However, Chanyeol was used to it and it was still difficult but he managed to look away from Junmyeon to rake his gaze over the whole room instead, as if he was doing it out of habit. He hated looking into Junmyeon’s eyes, it destabilized him and made him reconsider each and every single one of his own thoughts. It wasn’t like looking into Baekhyun’s eyes, it didn’t give him the same feeling of comfort. 

 

He thought back about the words Junmyeon pronounced a few seconds ago. Trusting someone was dangerous in their field of work, especially if feelings were involved and Chanyeol unfortunately both loved and trusted Baekhyun with all he had. It could end very badly.

 

He forced himself to stop thinking about it. Junmyeon destabilized him too much.

 

"Not really," he chuckled instead, taking a last sip of water before leaning back into his seat. "I don’t think  anyone would like falling in love with an assassin anyway. Though, I think you should have this conversation with Jongdae or Minseok instead of me," he continued, hoping that it would take Junmyeon’s attention away from his personal life.

 

"Right, those two," he snorted in amusement, shaking his head. "They don’t have feelings involved in their twisted relationship, though."

 

"How do you know that?" Chanyeol asked even if he knew that was highly probably. They both weren’t the kind to feel any positive emotion.

 

"Minseok tells me everything, we talked," Junmyeon shrugged.

 

"What, did you warn him about Jongdae killing him in his sleep?" he asked, slipping playfulness into his voice.

 

Junmyeon laughed at that, shaking his head. "Of course not, kid. They can do whatever they want, I’m not going to warn them and I know them both enough to be sure that if one of them kills the other, it won’t be a result of manipulation or betrayal concerning Venom, at least."

 

"You can’t be sure that one of them won’t get out of this dead, though, right?" Chanyeol asked back, amused. It was easy to slip into this comfortable relationship with Junmyeon. Chanyeol had never been good at ridding himself of habits.

 

"I’m expecting the worst, actually," the other chuckled, causing Chanyeol to laugh as well.

 

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, making small conversation from time to time while Chanyeol relaxed, not entirely lowering his guard either. Nothing too bad had happened yet and it was comforting to know that Junmyeon was willing to go back to the way things were before their small arguments. 

 

A few minutes before leaving the restaurant, Chanyeol received a message from Jongin telling him that he might be done by tomorrow and he ignored it, acting like nothing was wrong despite the bad feeling that immediately nestled in the pit of his stomach. He was really close to figuring everything out and if things went as they did right now, nothing wrong would happen. That was what he hoped with every fiber of his soul, at least.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The rest of the day was spent getting ready for a kill that he executed as soon as the sun deemed it time to slip away from the bright sky to let darkness reign over the city instead. it didn’t take long, it was done cleanly and Chanyeol went home as soon as possible, tired from the uneventful and yet long day he had spent.

 

He wasn’t even physically tired actually, he hadn’t done much and he might not have gotten much sleep lately but it was nothing he wasn’t used to. His exhaustion seemed to come from the soul instead, he felt heavy, tired, and as if he was locked down in a tiny room without any ray of sunlight filtering in to tickle and warm his cold skin up. He almost felt choked up in his own silent apartment and just to make some noise, he made sure to throw his keys on the table as loudly as possible before groaning as he plopped down on the couch in the living room, eyes closing for a second. He hated the fact that he had an idea concerning the reason behind this gloominess that had planted its claws in his soul and refused to let go. Days spent without any kind of news about Baekhyun were tiring, he couldn’t help but worry about the other’s wellbeing even if he had stopped worrying about what was going on between them. Or rather, he had stopped thinking about Baekhyun’s possibly ill intentions towards him. He just spent his days wondering where he was, what he was doing, if he was with the guy from the warehouse, if he was hurt, or if he spent his days thinking about Chanyeol as much as the latter did. 

 

However, Junmyeon’s words still lingered in his head and he might’ve had only pure intentions when opening up the topic of relationships so unexpectedly but it had still nestled a bad feeling in the pit of Chanyeol’s stomach, something heavy, a monstrous ball of worry that kept turning and swirling around in his lower stomach, distracting Chanyeol from anything he would have liked to do. He couldn’t think about anything else. He sighed loudly for what felt like the hundredth time that day and leaned forward to reach for the control remote with the intention of turning the television on to drown out his thoughts and wipe away the silence that always reigned over his apartment.

 

For the second time that day, the loud vibrations coming from his phone prevented him from doing what he planned to do and this time, Chanyeol groaned even louder than he had done this morning. He had half the mind to ignore it but the vibrations were against his thigh, his phone begging to be pulled out of his pocket, and somehow, he still had the hope of seeing the name that never left his mind written on his screen this time. He waited a few seconds just to kill his own wishful thoughts and finally pulled the phone out of his pocket, mood sour, not even bothering to actually check who the call was coming from since he wanted to save himself the disappointment.

 

"What," was his word of greeting when answering the call, lips pursed and eyebrows pulled into a frown. 

 

 _"Well, I missed you too,"_ was the reply coming from the other end of the line and Chanyeol froze as the voice he had been craving to hear for a full week was finally tickling his ear and soothing his mind while sending his heart into a tremor all at the same time. The amusement dripping from the voice was familiar and somehow tamed the flames of worry that danced around the monster in his stomach.

 

"Baekhyun?" he asked stupidly, just to make sure that he wasn’t actually hallucinating. It wouldn’t even be surprising if it were the case, at this point. 

 

 _"The one and only,"_ Baekhyun replied with a soft, quiet chuckle that Chanyeol almost couldn’t hear over the loud beating of his heart. 

 

"I… wasn’t expecting you to call. After a full week," Chanyeol said after getting a grip of himself, not even bothering to hide the accusations in his voice. He was feeling an odd mix between relief and irritation after hearing Baekhyun’s voice and he was used to all those contradicting emotions but that didn’t mean he had no right to be upset at the other for leaving him in the dark for so long.

 

 _"I know, I’m sorry,"_ Baekhyun apologized right away, surprising Chanyeol who had expected a mocking or teasing remark at most. He furrowed his eyebrows, finding it odd. Baekhyun sounded different, rushed, almost breathless.

 

"Are you okay?" 

 

" _Yeah_ ," he quickly replied, only fueling Chanyeol’s suspicions. _"Yeah, I’m okay. What about you? Are you okay? Where are you? How was your day?"_

 

The sudden string of questions surprised Chanyeol who had a hard time understanding Baekhyun’s sudden curiosity or the slight lilts of panic that he could discern in his voice. It was almost as if he wanted to know something and asked several questions just to have as much information as possible on the subject. The tiny monster in Chanyeol’s stomach grew a bit bigger.

 

"Slow down," he replied, chuckling almost awkwardly. "I’m fine, I’m just home. I arrived a few minutes ago and my day was uneventful, I just spent the morning at home, then I went out for lunch with Junmyeon before a kill and now here I am," he explained, hoping that it would sooth Baekhyun. 

 

_"You had lunch with Junmyeon? Why?"_

 

Chanyeol frowned. "What do you mean why? He’s my boss, Baekhyun. I can’t just start ignoring him all of a sudden. Why are you asking so many questions today?" he finally asked, finding Baekhyun’s behavior way too odd to just deem it as a result of long days spent without any contact. Maybe something had happened this week that caused Baekhyun to behave this way.

 

 _"Right, he’s your boss,"_ Baekhyun replied, almost with a snort that ticked Chanyeol off a bit. _"Nothing, I’m just curious."_

 

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol sighed, this conversation somehow tiring him out even more instead of soothing him. "You can’t just ask me so many questions while sounding panicked and then ignore mine when I ask you what’s wrong."

 

 _"Nothing’s wrong! I just missed you, that’s all,"_ Baekhyun replied, voice lowering towards a whisper at the end of his sentence. Chanyeol wasn’t entirely convinced but those words still warmed his heart up and he fought off a smile from spreading on his lips.

 

"You know that’s entirely your fault, I tried calling you a few times."

 

 _"I know, I was just really busy for the past few days,"_ was the only explanation Baekhyun granted Chanyeol.

 

"What have you been up to?" he insisted.

 

_"Nothing much, just the usual. Hiding, killing, getting money. You know the drill."_

 

Chanyeol knew it, he knew how Baekhyun led his life, or at least he had a small idea on the subject. He also knew the tone he had just used for the most part of this conversation, fleeting words, nonchalant edges in his voice, incomplete replies, things that Chanyeol was used to hearing but that he hadn’t heard in a while. Baekhyun was behaving too oddly and he seemed to be aware of that since the rush in his voice was tamed down a bit after Chanyeol called him out on it a few seconds ago. He bit his lower lip, worrying the flesh.

 

"I’ve been worried," he settled on saying after a few seconds of silence. Baekhyun never stayed silent for more than two seconds when they were speaking. Chanyeol felt something tie up around his neck.

 

" _Why?_ " Baekhyun asked and Chanyeol let out a soft snort. Did he even need to ask? _"Nothing happened to me, don’t I sound as amazing as ever?"_

 

"I’ve been worried about us, Baekhyun," he replied with a stern tone, ignoring the obviously forced mischief he heard in the other’s voice.

 

 _"Why?"_ he asked again, ticking Chanyeol off.

 

"Do you realize what’s happening, Baekhyun? We have this… thing," he sighed, not even knowing how to call their relationship. "We have this thing going on and it’s totally wrong when you’re wanted dead by so many people and most importantly my _boss."_

 

 _"We’ve talked about this, Chanyeol,"_ he heard the other sigh.

 

"We have. But this is going to end badly. It always ends badly in every stupid movie Jongin forces me to watch."

 

_"That’s not true. In every movie I watched, the main characters got rid of the bad guys and loved happily ever after together."_

 

"But we’re not in a movie and that’s the problem," he muttered, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Either Baekhyun didn’t even care what could happen to them or he was just not aware of what could be their end.

 

 _"What did Junmyeon tell you? Is it because of that bastard again?"_ Baekhyun’s voice snapped against Chanyeol’s ear harshly.

 

"Why do you always have to bring him up?" Chanyeol fired back with the same irritated tone. "Can’t we have a single conversation without you blaming everything on someone else but yourself? Do you never wonder if you’re the one in the wrong, Baekhyun? Maybe I’m feeling this way because of _you,_ not because of someone else."

 

Silence settled over them when Chanyeol’s voice died down and he almost felt lighter after voicing out the thoughts that had been snaring at him from the back of his mind for a while now. Maybe it was a result of the exhaustion but Chanyeol couldn’t hold them back anymore even if he knew he would have been more patient with Baekhyun if he had gotten more sleep last night. It was getting difficult to remain calm when he was locked up in this twisted and dangerous situation, though, and Baekhyun seemed to be taken back since he he remained silent for a few seconds during which Chanyeol found all his bravado crumbling to let way for a faint feeling of regret.

 

_"You’re right, I’m sorry."_

 

Chanyeol sighed, feeling as if part of his soul was leaving his body with the small rush of air traveling out of his mouth.

 

"It’s okay. I’m sorry for snapping too," he couldn’t help but apologize even if he had silently promised himself not to do it a few seconds ago.

 

 _"It’ll be okay, Chanyeol-ah. As long as we love and trust each other, whatever is going to happen doesn’t matter to me,"_ Baekhyun replied, voice finally slipping into something more calming, a  tone of voice that Chanyeol was used to, one that didn’t make him feel like either crawling in the deepest hole he could find or wrapping his hands around someone’s throat and squeezing until he wouldn’t feel any kind of frustration anymore. _"We’ll be okay as long as we believe in each other, right?"_

 

"Yeah, we’ll be okay," Chanyeol nodded even if Baekhyun couldn’t see it, reassuring himself more than he was trying to reassure Baekhyun with those words. He parted his lips to add something else but was cut off as he felt his phone vibrating once against his ear, indicating a notification.

 

He usually didn’t get contacted so much in a single day and it was starting to really drain him out but Chanyeol asked Baekhyun to wait a second before he brought the device in front of his eyes instead, the screen lighting up just in time for Chanyeol to catch the glimpse of a notification before it disappeared. It was a message from Jongin that read ‘ _Meet me at the warehouse near the river now. I’m done.’_

 

It was enough for Chanyeol to feel his heart skip a beat, adrenaline surging through his veins as he understood what Jongin was talking about right away. He was done. He had managed to hack into Junmyeon’s files and he had something to show Chanyeol right away. Something that couldn’t be talked about in his own apartment, something that he had to tell Chanyeol about right away, something that might change this whole situation. He felt the ball of of worry that had been in the pit of his stomach all this time grow bigger, spreading through his whole body, each of his muscles tensing up.

 

 _"Chanyeol? What’s wrong?"_ came Baekhyun’s voice from the receiver, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

 

"Listen, I have to leave now," he says after bringing the device to his ear again.

 

 _"What? Why? Where are you going at this hour?"_ Baekhyun rushed.

 

"Relax," Chanyeol chuckled, hoping that it would sooth Baekhyun out and prevent him from asking any more questions. He didn’t know that Chanyeol had been doing some research on Junmyeon and he shouldn’t find out. If Baekhyun wasn’t willing to tell him himself, then it meant that it was important and he might prevent Chanyeol from finding out. "You’re not as curious usually, are you sure you’re okay?"

 

 _"Where are you going?"_ Baekhyun asked instead of replying.

 

"I’m just going to meet Jongin at one of our warehouses, the one near the river. No one ever goes there so don’t worry, nothing’s going to happen to me. Stop stressing out," he said as he stood up, grabbing his keys again, barely registering what he was saying as he was too busy rushing out of the apartment.

 

_"Why are you meeting him?"_

 

"Something concerning work," Chanyeol lied without hesitating. "Look, I’ll call you again later. I hope you’ll pick up."

 

With those words, Chanyeol hung up without even waiting for Baekhyun’s reply as he closed the apartment’s door behind himself and rushed down the stairs. He had no time to waste, the truth was so close to him and he couldn’t let it slip through his fingers. Not this time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Warehouses might be the most cliché thing in the whole underground world but they were important nonetheless, some gangs used them to put limits around their territory, some used it to stock weapons, drugs, or hold meetings that couldn’t be scheduled to take place in one of the city’s most popular and dangerous nightclub. Chanyeol knew that Venom possessed a few warehouses around the city and most of them weren’t even useful but Junmyeon somehow liked collecting things and he supposed that warehouses were some of them. One of those warehouses was near the Han River, concealed by trees and rarely used since it wasn’t hidden enough from the rest of the city, it was left empty just in case some people would wander to it after getting lost near the river and Chanyeol hadn’t set foot into it in what was probably years. 

 

It made sense for Jongin to choose that special place to meet at since even Junmyeon had probably forgotten about it and no one would go looking for them there at this hour. However, Chanyeol wasn’t sure why exactly they had to meet there instead of simply having this conversation at either Jongin’s or his apartment, it would have been easier but then again, Jongin was the most careful out of them all and if he deemed it necessary, then Chanyeol wouldn’t comment on it. He was too far gone in his own thoughts to even think about it anyway, his heartbeat louder than the sound of the night that surrounded him as he took quick steps towards the warehouse that he could already see the outline of a few feet away. It would have been too difficult to park his car right in front of the building since there was no room for that so he had to leave it farther down the road. 

 

With each step that brought him closer to the building, his mind created its own scenario concerning what would unfold soon. He might learn something that would change his whole life, it might be something that would make him hate Junmyeon, it could also be something that would make him realize all of this was a mistake and Baekhyun had played with him from the very start of this twisted situation even if that was unlikely. No matter what Jongin was going to say, it would change the course of things in a way that Chanyeol might not be able to control.

 

It only dawned on him when he stood in front of the door, fingers wrapped around the cold metal of the knob. He took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh night air, and pushed the door open to step inside, gaze raking around the single big room. It was huge and entirely empty, nothing was left inside when they had bought it, not even a single table that could be used in various situations, either to hold cases full of money or the several torture instruments that Jongdae always loved using on his victims. It was empty, dark, the lights didn’t work in the building and Chanyeol didn’t even try looking for a switch, mainly relying on the light sprinkled by the moon through the few wide windows. It was silent as well, Jongin wasn’t there yet and Chanyeol closed the door behind himself to prevent any possible wander from noticing that there was someone inside, stepping further into the room instead.

 

The windows were almost at the top of the walls, almost meeting the ceiling and they probably had never been opened, they might not have been made to be open which meant that this building had probably never inhaled clean air except for the few times the door had been opened. A dry smell lingering in the air, irritating Chanyeol’s nose with each inhale and forcing him to take in the smell of dust, rusty metal, and emptiness. There was a staircase on the right, one that led to corridors that Chanyeol had never ventured into but that he figured opened the way for a few rooms that had once been used to stock smaller things, maybe even an office. The single window that served as a sort of wall at the top of the staircase and that separated it from the hallway was broken, a wide hole splitting it into two, the glass was stained, dirtied and Chanyeol couldn’t see through it with the lack of lighting.

 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, checking the time. Jongin wasn’t here yet but he probably would arrive in a  few minutes, he had sounded panicked and rushed on the phone. A chill ran down Chanyeol’s spine and he shoved both his phone and his hands in the pockets of his black leather jacket to protect his skin from the cold air eerily dancing around the wide room.

 

A sudden and loud groan came from the rusty door and he turned on his heels, sharp gaze settling on the figure that had just pushed the door open before walking in, the door closing again behind them after they threw a last glance outside. He recognized him immediately and took a step forward before standing still when Jongin basically ran towards him.

 

"Jongin? Are you okay?" he couldn’t help but ask, a heavy weight settling on his chest at the sight that his best friend offered to him.

 

Jongin had always been the one to put the most importance into his appearance, he rarely went out of the house without looking dashing and professional. Not only that but he also was the best at keeping his expression in check, slipping any kind of emotion he wanted into his voice, luring his victims in with pretty words and catching them with one-sided deals. However, Chanyeol couldn’t see any of that at that moment. His footsteps were rushed as he came to stand in front of Chanyeol and his features were distorted into a worried expression, eyebrows furrowed, lips chapped as if he had been biting into the skin way too much for it to be healthy.

 

Once they stood in front of each other, Chanyeol put his hands on the shorter’s shoulders, worried.

 

"What’s wrong?" he asked, heart beating with anxiety. The weight in the pit of his stomach was still there, heavier than ever.

 

"I’m glad you came right away," Jongin sighed, keeping his vice hushed as if he feared someone was listening to them. "We have to be quick."

 

"Why? What happened?" Chanyeol asked, letting go of Jongin when the latter took a step back and started pacing in front of him, shaking his head. He had never seen the other like that and he did his best to stay calm but panic was starting to make its way into his mind.

 

"I did it. I hacked into Junmyeon’s files and read through every piece of information."

 

His breath hitched at those words. He already knew this was the reason why Jongin had called him there but hearing it made it sound realer and Chanyeol realized that _finally,_ he would get the answers that he had been craving for too long.

 

"That’s great, I knew you could do it. What did you find?" he asked urgently, heartbeat quickening, his whole attention on Jongin. This was what he had been waiting for. This would change everything.

 

However, the latter stayed silent, looking at Chanyeol with a steady gaze for a few seconds before shaking his head. It was too dark but he caught a glimpse of the bags of sleeplessness under Jongin’s eyes.

 

"Chanyeol," Jongin started before cutting himself off and sighing as he finally stopped fidgeting and stood in front of Chanyeol.

 

"What, Jongin? What did you find?" he urged the other, feeling himself growing breathless as he hung on the words that were about to fall off Jongin’s lips.

 

Jongin took a deep breath, locking gaze with Chanyeol before letting the words finally escape him.

 

"Junmyeon used to be a member of Cobra. He was… Chanyeol, Junmyeon was-" Jongin cut himself off, shaking his head as if the words that he wanted to voice out were difficult to pronounce. 

 

Chanyeol’s eyes widened at what he heard, those words echoing in his head even if he couldn’t link them to anything yet. He was about to urge Jongin to explain things to him when the other parted his lips again, a determined expression on his face this time, as if he would push through until the end of his story.

 

However, the next thing Chanyeol heard wasn’t Jongin’s voice.

 

A loud gunshot echoed in the empty warehouse, breaking Jongin’s words as easily as a stone shattering the fragile surface of a mirror, silencing both of them, cutting through the heaviness hanging in the air, and freezing the frenetic beating of Chanyeol’s heart in his ribcage for a second.

 

He startled, gaze dropping to the red blossoming on Jongin’s chest and spreading around the hole pierced through his white shirt. 

 

The sound of his knees colliding with the floor as he crumbled down was as loud as the gunshot that still echoed in Chanyeol’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *casually makes the first appearance when shit actually goes down*
> 
> Hi! This feels awkward lmao 
> 
> So yeah I usually never really talk here but I just wanted to thank each and every one of you who paid attention to this story until now, read it, bookmarked it, gave it kudos or even commented on it! I appreciate all of you and I'm glad you like this story enough to go through now 17 long chapters lmao I usually try replying to your comments even if I do it like 6 years later but sometimes I don't have the time to do it and I hope you all know that I still appreciate each comment you leave!
> 
> I don't really spend too much time on AO3 actually so that's why I'm always late but if you ever want to actually talk to me or anything, you can come be friends with me on twitter or tumblr! @byunbaegi on both. Once again, thank you!
> 
> PS: I'm?? sorry?? for what just happened???


	18. Chapter Eighteen

"Jongin!"

 

Chanyeol’s voice echoed in-between the darkened and stained walls of the warehouse, following the sound of his best friend’s knees colliding with the floor as he crumbled down, face first, the red stains on his shirt hidden but the crimson pool starting to form under his body hitting Chanyeol even harder.

 

He was unable to breath at that moment and this scene wasn’t unfamiliar, all of them had been hurt or shot at least once as that was bound to happen in their field of work but this time, but Jongin had been shot without any reason this time, in a place that no one was supposed to know about, and the bullet didn’t just graze his shoulder or touch an almost harmless part of his body. It pierced right through his chest, maybe grazed his heart, maybe lodged right inside of it. Chanyeol didn’t know but he had never been trained to react to this kind of scene, he had never encountered this, he didn’t know how to react and for two full seconds, he simply stared as life bled out of his _brother_ ’s body. His chest tightened and he almost could feel the bullet lodging in his own body, painful and lethal, before a blinding feeling of panic hit him, as strong as the reverberation of a bullet leaving a gun once you pulled the trigger and committed something that you’d never be able to fix.

 

It took exactly two seconds for Chanyeol to realize that Jongin was on the floor, dying, bleeding out, and panicked strings of unintelligible words left his lips as he dropped on his knees next to his best friend, hands unsure yet panicked as he grabbed his shoulders to turn him around so he would face Chanyeol instead of the floor. His wide eyes trailed over the sight that he had never even imagined seeing one day, Jongin’s pale skin, his bloodshot eyes, the panic in his dark orbs, and the gurgling that left his parted lips.

 

"Jongin," he repeated, whizzed, unable to breath. "Jongin, look at me," he pleaded, voice steady but hands shaking as he tried getting Jongin to keep his eyes open, his hand cupping the other’s cheek to turn his head towards him. Jongin didn’t reply, he didn’t say anything, he couldn’t and Chanyeol watched as his eyelids fell shut, his chest still heaving up and down as if he was struggling to keep himself alive, as if he was trying to grasp any ounce of air that could still travel into his lungs.

 

Chanyeol shook his head, still almost numb by the shock and the pain, before he looked around, rage simmering in his veins, a feeling of hysteria taking over him and nestling in the pit of his stomach, mixing in with the pain and erupting in his mind. There was no one, it was dark, the only thing moving around him were the particles of dust that swirled in the air as if trying to escape the gentle caresses of the moonlight. The door behind him was still closed, he hadn’t heard anyone opening it, there was no one. He looked down, Jongin’s eyes were open again, half lidded, the usual glint of life Chanyeol always saw whenever he looked into his best friend’s dark orbs was barely shining and he felt the life sucked out of him. He didn’t know what to do. Jongin parted his lips, let out an intelligible sound, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the strength to form the words anymore. He closed his mouth again, his eyelids fell shut, his lips curved into a tiny but familiar smile, one that he offered Chanyeol whenever they played one of his stupid games in the darkness of his big apartment and he lost against Chanyeol. However, this wasn’t a game. Jongin wasn’t a character that you could kill and bring back to life over and over again until you were tired of playing and called it a day.

 

Chanyeol parted his lips, wanting to say something, anything to keep the other alive, his hand pressed against the hole pierced through his chest to keep the blood in, the crimson staining his skin and at that moment, Chanyeol wondered if he would ever be able to erase his best friend’s blood from his skin.

 

However, his ears picked up on a sound and he looked up, neck almost snapping with the violence of the movement. There, behind the dirtied glass of the window upstairs, there was a dark silhouette, one that slipped away immediately as if sensing Chanyeol’s gaze on them.

 

Suddenly, the red of Jongin’s blood on his hand snapped behind his eyelids and he couldn’t see anything but that angry color as rage and pain exploded in his mind, shooting his body up after he gently put Jongin’s head on the floor. His hand reached for his gun, retrieving it from its holster against his ribs, right beneath his jacket and he could feel it slipping a bit, the blood on his skin making it a bit more difficult to hold it properly. However, Chanyeol didn’t care, he couldn’t care, he couldn’t see anything but the shallow heaving of Jongin’s chest as he struggled to breath and it was as if his soul had left his own body, leaving behind a mere shell, controlled by the rage that filled it up instead.

 

His long legs carried him towards the stairs without wasting another second, he ran up the steps like a crazed predator ready to snap its teeth into the fragile neck of its prey, hunting it and tearing its flesh apart until no one would be able to even recognize it. He pushed the door open, the worn out wood almost coming off its hinges with the strength Chanyeol unconsciously put into the movement, and he looked ahead of him, eyes raking over the darkness in search of the source of all the pain running through his veins. It was darker here, there were no window and the hallway was really long but he could barely see anything since the light probably didn’t work here either. He could barely even hear anything over the frenetic beating of his heart and the loud sound of his own breathing but he advanced into the darkness, running until he could distinguish a silhouette ahead of him when he took a right turn and a window was at the end of the corridor, providing him a better view.

 

It was a man who had a small stature, he wasn’t as tall as Chanyeol, he was rather short but really quick as he ran ahead of Chanyeol, not glancing back even once as he ran while carrying a case probably containing the sniper riffle that he had used to shoot Jongin. As soon as he saw him, Chanyeol pushed on his legs harder and raised the hand that was holding his gun, finger pressing on the trigger without even a second of hesitation. It was dark, he couldn’t aim properly as emotions continued flooding into him and he was running, he was not steady enough so he missed, the bullet probably lodging somewhere in one of the walls surrounding them, but Chanyeol didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop and he continued chasing the man who had just shot his best friend right in front of his eyes. He shot again, and again, blinded by rage, his sight getting slightly blurry as he thought about Jongin’s body lying on the floor downstairs, bleeding out. He pulled the trigger again after they took a left turn in the maze-like hallways of the warehouse and he figured that the man was heading towards the fire exit door at the back of the building. 

 

He shot again and this time, the bullet seemed to touch the man who lost his footing and stammered while running, his free hand pressing on the upper side of his arm where the bullet had probably touched him. He hit his shoulder against the wall as he disappeared behind a corner, not giving up, and Chanyeol ran faster but he found himself in front of a split in the hallways, not knowing whether he should take a left or a right to catch up to the man.

 

However, he didn’t really have the time for that. Catching the man wasn’t the most important thing to do right now. Jongin was still downstairs, struggling to stay alive and Chanyeol cursed out loud, hitting his already blood stained hand against the wall before groaning, stuck between going after the guy and making him go through twice as much pain as Jongin was feeling right now and simply going back to the latter and making sure to keep him alive, doing anything he could to keep him breathing. He had lost too much time already. He shouldn’t have ran after the guy, he should have stayed with Jongin to try and keep him alive. He shouldn’t have let his emotions get a hold of him. What if it was already too late? What if Jongin had already given his last breath away because of him? Either way, wasn’t this all Chanyeol’s fault? 

 

He cursed again, turning on his heels to run back to his best friend while praying for the first time to a God he had never believed in. He took a right turn to go back on his steps but he felt his foot pressing on something and stopped, a small hope igniting inside of him at the possibility of finding something that would indicate why someone would shoot Jongin like that, so unexpectedly. He looked down, movements rushed and uncoordinated as he felt around with his foot until it pressed against something again. He leaned down to grab it and continued running right away while observing the object once he was getting closer the staircase where there was a bit more of light, parted lips letting out broken puffs of air, not from exhaustion but from the adrenaline rushing through his veins, the frenetic beating of his heart, and the worry filling his inside.

 

As soon as he could properly see what was between his fingers, he froze in his tracks, the air in his lungs sucked out of him as if someone had just punched him hard in the stomach. It was familiar and Chanyeol might have been able to recognize it even in the darkness if he had paid more attention to it. He would have been able to recognize the texture of the braids between his fingers anywhere, the same black and white ropes were wrapped around his own wrist after all.

 

Cold water seemed to replace the air in his lungs and he felt himself drowning, a feeling that he hadn’t experienced in a long time, the feeling of not being able to breath until you’d get the answers you were looking for. He felt himself choke up as he looked at Baekhyun’s bracelet in his hand, the bracelet that he had found on the floor of the hallways Jongin’s shooter had been running through a few seconds ago. What was it doing there? Why was it there? How did it get there? Was it really Baekhyun’s? It couldn’t be a coincidence. Could it be? All kinds of questions flooded Chanyeol’s mind, crashing against the walls of his skull and planting a headache against his temples. Something started simmering in the pit of his stomach, something that oddly felt like the claws of fear looking for a spot to sink into. How did Baekhyun’s bracelet get in there? 

 

He shook his head, getting a grip of himself and shoving the bracelet into his jacket’s pocket. He had no time to think about that, Jongin was still dying downstairs and as he ran down the stairs, he reached for his phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. The slow rhythm of the line beeping while waiting for someone to pick up was torturous and Chanyeol dropped on his knees beside Jongin again, his eyes widening when he couldn’t see his chest heaving up and down anymore, his hands trembling like the last leaves hanging to a tree’s fragile branch and fighting against the harsh winter breeze. He brought two fingers against Jongin’s neck and waited for ten whole seconds, holding his own breath to make sure that he would be fully concentrated as he looked for a sign of life, trying his hardest to ignore the hysteria hovering over the back of his mind. It took ten long seconds but eventually, Chanyeol could feel the faint pulse against his fingers. Relief flooded into him but it only made him sink further into the deep lake of fear he seemed to be chained in, unable to get out of the cold water surrounding him no matter how hard he struggled, no matter how long he had already been struggling for. It was weak, barely noticeable, Jongin wouldn’t last long if no one did anything right away.

 

" _Chanyeol?_ " a voice said against his ear and he almost forgot that he had been calling someone.

 

"Junmyeon hyung," his panicked voice echoed in the warehouse. "Jongin got shot a few minutes ago, we were… we were in one of our warehouses and someone suddenly shot him and I couldn’t catch the guy but he shot Jongin in the chest and he’s barely breathing anymore. We have to help him, what should I do? I can barely feel his pulse and it’s-"

 

 _"Calm down, Chanyeol,"_ Junmyeon’s steady yet slightly alarmed voice cut him off and Chanyeol took a deep shaky breath. _"Is he still alive?"_

 

"Barely," Chanyeol replied and the word leaving his mouth and hanging in the air seemed to be as sharp as the blade of a dagger piercing through his own heart, right on the same spot as the hole in Jongin’s chest.

 

_"Bring him to Yixing’s house. I’ll call him and tell him to get ready. I’m going there as well. Be quick."_

 

With the instructions of someone far more lucid than he was, Chanyeol immediately hung up and didn’t lose more time, gathering his best friend’s weak and barely alive body into his arms and heading towards the door. Jongin had never felt so heavy before and Chanyeol knew that it wasn’t the weight of his body.

 

Chanyeol barely realized anything as he ran with Jongin in his arms towards his car, cursing himself for not parking it nearer to the building, putting the other’s body on the backseat once he reached it and making sure that nothing would happen as he’d drive which he did faster than ever, breaking too many rules but not caring when his best friend’s life was on the line. Everything was a blur besides the road he was taking and fortunately, Yixing didn’t live too far away from where the warehouse was. His mind was foggy even as he parked the car in front of Yixing’s house and carried Jongin’s body towards the door, the doctor already waiting for him there and telling him to quickly bring Jongin to the medical room he used for this kind of situation. Chanyeol put Jongin down on the bed and Yixing ushered him out of the room so he could start as quickly as possible, checking Jongin’s pulse with a sour expression that sent chills down Chanyeol’s spine. 

 

It was still blurry when Junmyeon arrived only a few minutes later, looking disheveled for the first time ever, as if he had literally jumped out of bed to reach Yixing’s house as quickly as possible. He took Chanyeol in his arms and for the first time in a long time, Chanyeol couldn’t feel anything repulsive about the elder and let himself be cradled in his comforting embrace for a few seconds before he pulled away, unable to stand still for too long when chances of losing the man he had grown up with for ten long years were hovering right above his head. He could barely register Junmyeon’s trembling voice as he asked what happened, he couldn’t find it in himself to reply and say anything, not even a lie because it didn’t matter anymore, it didn't matter when Chanyeol could feel a piece of his heart wrenched away more painfully with each second the door remained closed. 

 

Yixing had been taking care of them for years now, he had always been the one to call whenever any of them was injured, he was almost like Junmyeon’s personal doctor and he was good, he was one of the best doctors of this country maybe, he was kind and never agreed with what they did but had always been there to help. He was good. He would save Jongin, Chanyeol thought as he continued pacing in front of the door. He would keep Jongin alive and once his _brother_ would be able to talk again, Chanyeol would never ever drag him into anything remotely dangerous. This had been his fault. This might have been his fault. He was the reason why Jongin had been in that warehouse tonight, if not for Chanyeol, then he might have stayed home and he wouldn’t have been shot by someone. He didn’t even know who could have done that, was it an enemy? Jongin had a lot of those, people who hated him automatically came with this field of work and yet, this had never happened before. Why did this have to happen right when Jongin was about to tell him something important? Who could have done it? Chanyeol glanced at Junmyeon next to him, he had a far away look on his face, his teeth were sunk into his lower lip and his gaze was darkened, his fingers forming a tight fist, something that he had the habit of doing whenever something unexpected happened and he was worried.

 

His mind flashed back to the black and white bracelet still nestled in his pocket. Something twisted in his stomach. Fear, piercing his lungs with its claws, crawling up his throat and squeezing, eating his soul away little by little. He shook his head, taking a deep breath in. Then another and another. It didn’t calm the panicked beating of his heart and he still found it difficult to breath whenever he thought about Jongin’s existence being erased from his life but he simply breathed. 

 

That wouldn’t happen. Jongin wasn’t going to die. Yixing would save him and they would look for the culprit together once he would be able to get on his feet again, because Jongin never gave up and he wouldn’t give up on life either, he wouldn’t give up on Chanyeol and leave him all alone in this cold harsh world. 

 

He repeated those words to himself for two whole hours as he waited for a sign from Yixing who never once got out of the room. He prayed to a God he had never believed in for two whole hours. He ate his own mind away with self-accusations and twisted scenarios for two whole hours. 

 

However, after two whole hours, when Yixing walked out of the room, the glint in his eyes was an apologetic one and the words that fell from his mouth and tied around Chanyeol’s neck like a string pulled by Fate erased a piece of Chanyeol’s heart forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _Ephemeral_ was such a bittersweet word. 

 

Sweet because it had a joyful ring to it, the few syllables leaving one’s lips with a gentleness that could be compared to a summer breeze, to the beautifully colored petals of a flower that had just bloomed, to the calm before a storm, or to the colors the sun painted on the blue canvas of the sky right before disappearing to display its last masterpiece of the day. Bitter because it had a sorrowful meaning, anything that was beautiful could be short, like the painted sky that disappeared at the end of a day, sometimes replaced by another beautiful picture but sometimes only washed away by dark clouds and a lightless sky. It was a word that just sounded sad when formed on someone’s lips, sad but beautiful. Long but so short to pronounce. Just like life.

 

Chanyeol knew the meaning of that word better than anyone. He had witnessed the true meaning of the word _ephemeral_ so many times over his own short life. He had been the one to incorporate its meaning into someone else’s life so many times. He knew better than most people how ephemeral life was, how short, how vain, and how fragile it was. He had put an end to dozens of people’s lives with just a press of his finger over a simple trigger. It was so easy. Catch, aim, shoot, and then walk away. As if you had done nothing when you probably just destroyed the life of a small child, of a loving wife, or of a dependent brother. It was so easy.

 

Life was ephemeral and instead of living his own short life, Chanyeol spent it taking away other people’s greatest and yet most ephemeral possession. 

 

Everything was ephemeral. The rain that he could hear dripping down from the sky to the earthy ground beneath his feet, the storm hovering over his head, the smell of freshly turned earth, and his presence here. Everything was ephemeral but Chanyeol didn’t think that the pain poisoning his heart with each pump of blood it produced as he looked at the grave right in front of him was. This wasn’t short-lived, it wasn’t beautiful nor bittersweet. It was just painful, strong, breath-cutting. Jongin’s life had been ephemeral, it had been beautiful but short, so short. Shorter than he had ever thought it would be.

 

Jongin’s life had been ephemeral, short but so full of people who'd all remember him under a different angle, and yet, only the four people staring at his grave would remember it, because he had no one else, no family, no other friend, no weeping lover. He had no one but the four people who weren't related to him by blood but who had watched him growing up. Would the memory the four of them had of him be ephemeral as well? Chanyeol knew that it wouldn’t be, not for him.

 

He hadn't just lost a colleague, a friend, a best friend. He had lost a _brother,_ someone he had shared his twisted childhood with, someone he had cried and laughed with, someone who had tended to his injuries many times in the past, someone who had patted him on the back and told him that there was nothing he wouldn’t be able to do, that he just had to hang on a little longer and work hard. He had lost a piece of his heart, a piece of his soul, and it was painful, he felt Death’s claws sinking into his heart, cutting a small piece, and devouring it to never give it back again.

 

He couldn’t even see the grave at his feet, his sight blurry, his gaze wet from the rain, or maybe from the tears. Was it the sky’s tears, or his? It didn’t make a difference, either way his heart was weeping, asking for its small piece back, bleeding out in pain uselessly. It would never get Jongin back. 

 

However, he figured there wasn’t even anything to actually see so it didn’t matter if he couldn’t properly look ahead of him. Was that all he had left of his brother? A sorrowfully grey piece of stone with his name carved on it? Jongin wasn’t a name associated to the two dates that marked his ephemeral life. Jongin was Chanyeol’s brother and the latter had spent the whole night thinking about the fact that he didn’t have a brother anymore. He was gone and only memories remained. 

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath in, filling his lungs with the scent of damp earth and raindrops, before he crouched down next to the grave, not really caring that his clothes and hair were getting more and more soaked by the rain. He raised his hand, fingers pressing against the cold, wet, and sorrowful grey stone. 

 

This had been his fault.

 

He could feel guilt murmuring in his mind, poisoning his thoughts and twisting them until nothing but accusations directed towards himself were left in Chanyeol’s mind. Had he not asked Jongin to hack into Junmyeon’s computer, they wouldn’t have had to meet at the warehouse and Jongin might have been alive still. This had been his fault and Chanyeol felt pain spreading though his veins with each beat of his torn heart. 

 

He heard whispers behind him, followed by the sound of footsteps slowly fading away but he didn’t bother turning around to check what was happening. There was no one but the four of them here, Jongin had no one but them and Chanyeol had no one but Jongin yet he had just lost him. 

 

Suddenly, the rain stopped and Chanyeol didn't bother looking up either when he heard a familiar voice behind him. 

 

"Do you remember the first day I brought him home?" Junmyeon’s gentle, calm voice came from  behind him as the man stood there, covering the both of them from the rain with an umbrella.

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help but let out a snort, a broken sound halfway between a breath and a sob. How could he forget that day? 

 

It had been barely a year since Junmyeon had taken Chanyeol in at that time and already, the latter had been feeling lonely, lost, and scared. He didn’t remember anything at that time and he was already being trained to become an assassin, it had been difficult and painful and the only thing that had kept him sane was Junmyeon who had always been there to reassure him and tell him he could do it. However, Junmyeon had always been busy and Chanyeol had always been alone whenever he wasn’t training.

 

That had changed when one day, Junmyeon walked into the house while holding the hand of a boy whose eyes never once left his feet, his hair hiding the empty look in the dark orbs that Chanyeol hadn’t been able to study until a few days had passed after his arrival to Junmyeon’s house.

 

"He was only fifteen at that time," Chanyeol said with a soft chuckle, reminiscing that particular day. He felt water trickle down his cheek but the rain had stopped a while ago. "He didn’t talk to any of us for a few days."

 

Jongin had been so young at that time and yet, he had felt older than anyone Chanyeol had ever met, older than even Junmyeon who had been the wisest man in Chanyeol’s life at that time. The first time Chanyeol had been able to catch his gaze, he had been surprised by the knowledge that he seemed to hide in those dark, fleeting orbs, as if he was scared that anyone would be able to read through him. There had just been something about Jongin at that time, Chanyeol had felt something curl around his heart as soon as he had seen him, something cold and yet warm, something familiar yet ungraspable. It took him a few days to figure it out. 

 

Jongin had always looked so sad, so broken, even if all he had always done was coop up in his room and barely even eat anything. He had just seemed so heartbroken and Chanyeol understood what that feeling he had been overwhelmed with was later on, it was recognition, realization. Jongin had been just like him, they were so similar, he was a broken child who had no one, no one but himself and the man who had given him a hand. Junmyeon had told him one night after Chanyeol had complained about Jongin’s attitude with him, tired of being ignored by the only person who could possibly be an actual friend instead of an older brother or a mere trainer. He had listened with wide eyes as Junmyeon told him where Jongin was from, who he was, that he had lost his parents, that his father had been working with the government for years as a hacker but that he had been using his status for bad things, that he had been corrupt and leaked information to the mafia. Once the government had found out, they had settled on simply getting rid of the man, killing his wife and his daughter too along the way. Only Jongin had survived the massacre, only he had been able to run away after witnessing his family getting brutally murdered right under his eyes. He had lost everything that used to tie him to his life before meeting Junmyeon and he had felt so similar to Chanyeol, it was impossible for the latter not to understand how Jongin was feeling. It had been impossible for Chanyeol not to try and take Jongin’s hand in his.

 

"He was. He was so young, so broken, and I couldn’t help but save him and take him in with us. I gave him a new family and made sure that he would be happy with us after losing his own family," Junmyeon said, voice trembling a little at the end of his sentence, as if the memory was now difficult to voice out.

 

Junmyeon had worked with Jongin’s father a few times before his death and he had also heard about how the man was training his son to be just like him, about the talent he had hidden in his fingers and in his mind. He had taken him in as soon as he had heard it, because he had known Jongin would be a great asset to them and because he used to appreciate his father. He had given Jongin a new life and as soon as he had heard this story, Chanyeol had sworn that he would become Jongin’s new brother, someone he would never lose, someone he could trust with his life, someone who would be there for him until the end.

 

And he had tried, he had tried his hardest to be that brother Jongin probably craved as much as Chanyeol did. 

 

He bit his lower lip, not trusting himself to say anything when he could feel little tremors shaking through his whole body, sorrow dripping from his eyes, locked in the crystal beads rolling down Chanyeol’s cheeks.

 

"You helped me a lot for that, Chanyeol-ah. He didn’t want to be there at first but he slowly warmed up to you and it helped all of us a lot," Junmyeon continued and Chanyeol could hear the smile in his voice but couldn’t push his lips to form one of his own.

 

"You bought him a lot of games to make it easier for him to feel at home," Chanyeol finally replied after gathering his strength, not even caring when his voice sounded wobbly to his own ears. "He always ignored me at first but after a few weeks, he agreed to letting me play with him. I always lost because he was just too good and I didn’t even mind because I always thought that winning the game would make him happy. He never smiled even once, though," Chanyeol chuckled silently. 

 

"You used to complain to me every night," Junmyeon chuckled as well.

 

"Yeah, I remember," Chanyeol said, gaze lost somewhere above the grave. "I always lost. Until one day, I woke up in the middle of the night to drink water and when I walked past his room, I heard him crying. It was really bad, I could hear him trying to stay silent but it felt like he was crying his heart out and I just," Chanyeol stopped for a second, taking a deep breath in and running a hand over his face to wipe the tears. "I just couldn’t take it, it was the first time he had shown any kind of emotion and it just hurt me. I just went in and took him into my arms until he stopped crying and fell asleep from exhaustion. I didn’t leave, we slept together on his small bed and when I woke up, he was already gone. When we played video games later that day, he let me win for the first time ever."

 

As he recalled the memories dear to his heart with Jongin, it hit him suddenly, that it would never happen again, and Chanyeol felt a small part of himself crumbling down. He shook his head, barely soothed by the warm hand that pressed on his shoulder as Junmyeon took another step closer to him.

 

"He always asked for too much money, that spoiled brat," the elder chuckled fondly, the sound empty to Chanyeol’s ears.

 

It would never happen again. Because Jongin wasn’t part of this world anymore. 

 

All the cold sorrow suddenly turned into a heated explosion in his body with that thought, the blood in his veins suddenly boiling with a deep feeling of rage that consumed Chanyeol’s mind, spreading through him like the angry flames of a fire ignited by accident but that no one would ever be able to extinguish without losing anything in its heat. He couldn’t think properly. He was tired, exhausted, hurt, mourning the death of his _brother._ He shot up on his feet, unable to stand still any longer, thoughts prickling his mind like a million of needles piercing through his body, the pain sharp and scalding hot. 

 

"Why?" he asked, turning to Junmyeon whose features suddenly hardened, as if Chanyeol had triggered the fire that had been simmering quietly in the depth of his soul until now. "Why?!" he asked again, voice hoarse from rage and louder than necessary. "Why did they do that, hyung? Why did it have to be him? Why now? Why?"

 

He had too many questions, each of them devouring his soul like a fire annihilating the existence of a fragile leaf caught up in the roots of a century old tree. He had too many questions, too much hatred, and too much sorrow. He wanted to know, he needed to know why they had done that to Jongin.

 

"I don’t know, Chanyeol," was Junmyeon’s reply, his fingers tightening around the handle of his umbrella, knuckles whitening as if he was barely controlling himself. "I don’t know who did that but we’ll make them pay for taking Jongin away from us. He didn’t deserve that and whoever did this to him is going to suffer an agonizing and slow death."

 

"They had no right to do that, hyung!" Chanyeol half shouted, half hissed, feeling himself slip into a state of insanity he had never experienced before. He had never lost anyone so dear to him and he couldn’t take it, the pain was too much to handle, he hated it. "I just can’t wrap my mind around it. Who would even do that?"

 

Junmyeon sighed, shaking his head. "Whoever did it doesn’t matter. We’ll avenge Jongin, Chanyeol. We won’t let them get out of this without any consequence," he spat out with a palpable hatred.

 

"But who?" Chanyeol shouted, throwing his hands in the air, desperate to know, desperate to find out the reason behind Jongin’s death. 

 

"Have you seen anything?" Junmyeon asked, locking his gaze into Chanyeol’s, grasping his whole attention as he asked his questions in a low, angry voice. "Anything to lead us towards the right answer? What did they look like? Did the guy leave anything behind? Jongdae and Minseok went to the warehouse this morning but they didn’t find anything at all. Do you remember anything important?"

 

Suddenly, realization washed over Chanyeol like a bucket of ice cold water and the weight of the bracelet still in his pocket felt heavier than ever. He had forgotten about it, too lost in the madness and sorrow he had felt throughout the whole night, ever since Yixing had brought them bad news, but now that he thought about it, it still didn’t make sense to find Baekhyun’s bracelet there. His stomach churned with a bad feeling but he refused to pay attention to it for now, looking at Junmyeon instead. What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t tell him that he had found Baekhyun’s bracelet there or that would expose his whole relationship with Baekhyun when he didn’t even know anything about the situation yet. His mind was buzzing with angry thoughts that he barely had the time to register.

 

"No," he shook his head. "No, I didn’t find anything either. The man was just short and used a sniper riffle and I managed to touch him when I shot but it wasn’t anything useful, I think the bullet barely grazed his arm." If only he had managed to shoot the guy properly, if only he had paid more attention to his surroundings when entering for the first time, maybe he would have been able to see the man and prevent everything. 

 

"I think I might have an idea on who could have done this," Junmyeon said, putting Chanyeol on alert almost instantly. 

 

"Who? Who do you think did it?" he asked, rushing the answer out of Junmyeon, needing to hear it and do something about it. He needed to make someone pay for putting him through so much pain and erasing Jongin’s existence from the surface of the earth. It wouldn't remain unpaid for. Chanyeol would hunt the culprit down and make them pay, whether it would take a few days or a few years didn’t matter. He would do it. He would dig a hole right into the culprit’s heart to pull the life out of them after making them suffer through hours of pain. He would do it and nothing could stop this murderous urge blooming inside of him. 

 

"Light."

 

That single word coming from Junmyeon’s mouth immediately tamed the fire in his mind, however, the flames retracting as if they were scared of what those few letters meant, making him swallow his own unpronounced words down. He froze, gaze still locked with Junmyeon’s dark orbs but mind going blank except for the little voice at the back of his head that whispered to him, poisoning him with the reminder of the bracelet in his pocket and the identical one around his wrist.

 

He felt something tying up in his throat, a knot making it impossible for him to breath air into his lungs. A voice screamed in his head, telling him that he had already known it since last night, since he had grabbed the bracelet off the ground. He glanced at the grave, the letters forming his best friend’s name. It was grey, dark, droplets of water still clung to the stone. He looked back at Junmyeon. Why would Baekhyun do that? It didn’t make sense. Baekhyun had no reason to do that. He wouldn’t. He’d never do anything to hurt Chanyeol like that, he knew how bad this would make him feel.

 

"Why?" was the only question Chanyeol could ask once he gathered the last pieces of his sanity. 

 

"Can’t you see?" Junmyeon frowned, eyes boring into Chanyeol’s, locking his soul into place. "After attacking Cobra, he’s attacking us and the first victim was Jongin."

 

Chanyeol listened with wide eyes, not even able to control his reactions anymore as Junmyeon’s words echoed in his head. It was hard to process all of it, especially when it didn’t make sense but actually _did_ make sense at the same time. 

 

"Why would he do that?" he asked, voice lowering into a whisper, heart squeezing in his chest.

 

"We’re helping Cobra to find him, we’re working together on this case with them, Chanyeol," Junmyeon explained, shaking his head as if Chanyeol should already know all of this, as if it should have been obvious from the start. "Maybe this is just a warning. Maybe he’s telling us to stop before he makes more damages," Junmyeon spat out, words sounding like the hiss of a snake to Chanyeol’s ears, ringing in his head.

 

He shook his head. He had found Baekhyun’s bracelet there.

 

"It’s him Chanyeol, it can only be him," Junmyeon continued when Chanyeol remained silent, an odd feeling of numbness preventing him from uttering anything. "You said he was short, you described him the same way before too. He also had a sniper riffle and he aimed perfectly, he’s also really fast and you’ve chased him before without being able to catch him. It can only be Light. No one else has a reason to do that to Jongin right now," he continued, voice smoothly going into Chanyeol’s ears despite the latter’s inability to speak, words etching into his mind.

 

As Junmyeon spoke, Chanyeol shoved his trembling hands into his pockets, the braids pressing into his fingers in one of them burning his skin. Then, he remembered Baekhyun’s phone call before he left the house to go meet Jongin. He remembered how odd Baekhyun had behaved, how panicked he had sounded, the way he had asked too many questions, and the location that slipped through Chanyeol’s mouth. Baekhyun had known where he was going last night, not in details but he had followed Chanyeol before, what could prevent him from doing it again? He knew everything about him, about Venom, maybe even about Cobra. Baekhyun knew everything. Junmyeon’s words and accusations resonated in his head, in his empty mind. His heart pumped pain into his veins with each beat, the conclusion all of this led him to was unpleasant, leaving the taste of blood in his mouth as he sunk his teeth into his lower lip.

 

No. No, it couldn’t be. Baekhyun wouldn’t do that. He had only been honest with Chanyeol the past few days and sure, they hadn’t communicated at all for a while since the day they had spent together but that didn’t mean anything. Baekhyun would never do something to hurt him. Baekhyun _loved_ him. He had said so himself. He had promised Chanyeol not to lie to him ever again so there was no reason for Baekhyun to do that. Chanyeol felt every inch of his body tensing up and he shook his head, finally breaking the suffocating eye contact he had been maintaining with Junmyeon until now.

 

There must be an explication to everything. There must be an explication to how his bracelet had ended up there, to his weird behavior on the phone too. Baekhyun would explain everything to Chanyeol if he asked. Did Baekhyun ever do that, though? Chanyeol always had to ask so many times before getting anything out of him. It didn’t matter. This was different and Baekhyun probably had an explanation for all of this, it couldn’t be him. Chanyeol hoped with every ounce of his soul that it wasn’t him. 

 

He had to make sure. He had to know. He had to ask. He had to see Baekhyun.

 

"I’ll- I’ll see you later, boss," were the only words he threw at Junmyeon before glancing one last time to the lump of earth beneath which his best friend’s body would rest forever and finally, he walked away, long legs rushing him out of the cemetery. He couldn’t stay there anymore, not when the mere act of looking at his best friend’s grave suffocated him, not when his own thoughts screamed at him to get out of there and look for something, anything to clear this situation up and figure everything out. He fumbled to get his phone out of his pocket as he ran past the gates, shaky fingers typing a rushed message that he hoped wouldn’t be ignored this time. He needed answers.

 

**To:** _Baekhyun_

_‘Meet me at my apartment in a few minutes.’_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The path to his apartment had been blurry, Chanyeol’s head swarming with contradicting thoughts, prayers, and silent cursing. His whole life was slowly crumbling down in a matter of a few hours and he had never thought that things would reach such a point, a point where he’d lose a brother and doubt Baekhyun’s loyalty and feelings towards him again. They had promised each other to never let it happen again only a few days ago and Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether his heart was tearing apart because he was breaking that promise or because Baekhyun was allowing him to break it.

 

As soon as he pushed the door of his apartment open, he felt suffocated by his own home and craved going out to take in some fresh air again. However, he couldn’t keep avoiding some things, he couldn’t let others throw his whole life around while he just sat back and allowed them do so. Chanyeol couldn’t afford staying still and waiting for things to happen anymore. Therefore, he stepped inside, taking a deep breath in, the air that seeped into his lungs almost tasting like poison in his mouth, the place that he considered home depriving him from any sense of comfort, the walls of his own home closing in around him as he stepped towards the living room, each cell of his body screaming at him to turn around and run away from the things he wouldn’t be able to face.

 

However, Chanyeol didn’t listen to his own instincts and walked in, without any ounce of hesitation, footsteps thudding on the floor with determination until he reached the living room and stood right in front of the doorstep, frozen, unable to walk into the dark tunnel that he might never be able to get out of.

 

Baekhyun was already there, waiting for him on the couch like he had done so many times before. It struck Chanyeol, then, that he had always let Baekhyun in without any problem, that he had allowed the latter to mark his existence into his life and become something that Chanyeol was dependent of. Baekhyun was close, so close to him, he had always been and Chanyeol had never done anything to prevent it from happening. He was close enough to press his delicate fingers against Chanyeol’s eyes to prevent him from seeing anything he wouldn’t like him to notice. 

 

The thought felt like a punch in the stomach, a strong one that Chanyeol wanted to return but one that he had no one to return to. Who was at fault here if not himself?

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun called out after a few seconds, standing up from the couch and stepping closer to Chanyeol, standing in front of him with his beautiful droopy eyes and the worried curve of his lips, eyebrows furrowed as his gaze locked into Chanyeol’s. He was close, so close, and Chanyeol simultaneously felt himself breathing easier and burned by the air slipping into his lungs. "What’s wrong? Your message somehow sounded weird so I came as soon as I could," he explained when Chanyeol remained silent, only studying the other.

 

Baekhyun loved him. He had said so. He had shown it. He had cried for Chanyeol, had fought against him out of love, and had soothed him in his worst days. Baekhyun loved him but why did _everything_ make so much sense now? Did he really?

 

Chanyeol’s words seemed to tie up into a knot in his throat and he couldn’t say anything, only listened to his own thoughts. There must be an explanation, it must be a misunderstanding. 

 

Baekhyun’s expression only dropped a little more when the taller said nothing and he seemed to be thinking about what could be wrong, he looked unaware, as if he had no idea a piece of Chanyeol’s life had just been torn away from him forever. It was painful and he couldn’t think, sorrow and heartbreak too strong for him to think properly about the right things. 

 

"You’re so pale," Baekhyun spoke again after a few seconds, worried voice caressing Chanyeol’s ears as his warm hand cupped the taller’s cheek, thumb gently brushing over the apple of his cheek. The touch burned him but soothed his soul at the same time and it was so odd, Chanyeol used to hate the effect Baekhyun had on him. "Your eyes are red too," he noted, frowning a bit more, alarm slowly gleaming in his dark orbs, gentle voice coaxing an answer out of Chanyeol. "Did something happen? You’re scaring me."

 

Chanyeol only snorted loudly at that however, unable to contain it. Baekhyun wasn’t scared. He was never scared, he was fearless, he had said so himself once, whispered it into Chanyeol’s ear late at night or early in the morning, voice breathy with the remnants of pleasure as he replied to a question Chanyeol had once asked him. Baekhyun was fearless and he could do anything, _anything._ Chanyeol slowly started feeling something boil in his veins, anger, rage, confusion. He remembered the bracelet in his pocket, Junmyeon’s words as they stood in front of Jongin’s grave, Baekhyun’s odd behavior on the phone right before he had met with Jongin last night. He felt suffocated suddenly and Baekhyun’s hand against his cheek was burning his skin, leaving a mark that he currently didn’t want to carry on his body. He needed to know. He needed an answer and he would get it.

 

His hand suddenly shot up to wrap around Baekhyun’s other hand, the latter startling and dropping the hand that had been cupping Chanyeol’s cheek until now, his eyes widening as he looked at Chanyeol with confusion and a glint of panic that the latter had never ever seen in his eyes before. Baekhyun was starting to panic. Why? Did he have something to hide? Of course, he did. He always had.

 

"Where’s your bracelet?" Chanyeol asked, fingers gripping Baekhyun’s like a mad man clutching a lifeline that would save them from drowning in the cold and merciless waters of a wide ocean. It was a stupid question, Chanyeol already knew where it was but he still hoped with every inch of his being that it was a misunderstanding, that Baekhyun’s bracelet wasn’t the one in his pocket, that he was wrong and stupid. 

 

"What? Why?" Baekhyun asked, voice heavy with tension as he tried pulling his hand away from Chanyeol’s.

 

However, the latter tightened his hold on it and the lack of answer fueled the fire sizzling in his soul. He fumbled to pull Baekhyun’s sleeve up, hoping, wishing, praying, but struck by disappointment when the only thing that greeted him was Baekhyun’s bare wrist. He had no bracelet, no black and white braids circling the pale skin of his wrist. 

 

"You’re not wearing it," Chanyeol muttered through greeted teeth and it was painful to utter those words as realization hit him like a truck whose brakes had been let loose, unable to slow the vehicle down. Baekhyun wasn’t wearing his bracelet. He looked at the other again, fingers tight around his wrist, clenching it in his hold despite the wince that he saw in Baekhyun’s face. He didn’t care at the moment, he needed to know.

 

Baekhyun didn’t say anything, simply looking at Chanyeol with wide eyes and an unsure expression, as if he had not expected this scene to play out, as if he was startled and confused about Chanyeol’s behavior. 

 

"Where is your bracelet?" Chanyeol asked when he remained silent, enunciating each word clearly, voice booming in the living room like the roar of a predator about to plant its claws into a prey’s neck. 

 

"What’s wrong, Chanyeol?" Baekhyun asked instead of replying, trying to tug his hand away from Chanyeol.

 

"Where the hell is your bracelet, Baekhyun?" Chanyeol asked again, startling Baekhyun who flinched. It wasn’t the reaction Chanyeol wanted.

 

"I must’ve forgotten to put it on after showering this morning. Why is this a big deal?" he finally replied, voice soft, almost trembling, like a weak animal doing its best to stay still in a desperate attempt at preventing the deadliest of predators from seeing it.

 

This wasn’t the reaction Chanyeol wanted. Baekhyun would never act this way if everything was alright. He would tug his hand away, frown, and scream back at Chanyeol. He usually wouldn’t take any of this, he wouldn’t let Chanyeol scream at him, he would fight back and defend himself or try winning over Chanyeol. He wasn’t doing any of that. He was cornered and Chanyeol felt pricks of ice stabbing his heart at the meaning behind what was currently happening. 

 

"Stop lying to me, Baekhyun. Where is it?" he asked, barely angry, mostly desperate. He wanted a good answer, he wanted Baekhyun to make him believe in something that wouldn't hurt him. Chanyeol didn’t want to think about the part he could have taken in Jongin’s death.

 

Maybe this was just a misunderstanding. Maybe this was a trap. It could be a trap set up by someone else. Baekhyun would never do that. He would never. Maybe he had really forgotten his bracelet at home. Maybe Chanyeol could follow him there and ask him to show it. Maybe he was simply wrong. It was ridiculous of him but Chanyeol didn’t want to believe in anything but this.

 

"Chanyeol, stop! What the hell are you doing?" Baekhyun raised his voice, panicked, and Chanyeol only then realized that he was tugging on Baekhyun’s wrist, shaking his arm as if it would make the bracelet magically appear there.

 

"Baekhyun reply to me," he demanded, desperate, blinded by the pain shooting up through his whole body, shaking Baekhyun further. It couldn’t be. It must be a mistake.

 

"You’re hurting me!" Baekhyun said, frowning, trying to free himself from Chanyeol’s hold, features twisted in pain.

 

There must be a mistake. He only had to believe Baekhyun. The bracelet in his pocket wasn’t a good enough proof of Baekhyun being the one behind Jongin’s death. Thoughts swarmed in his head, drowning his mind, covering rational thoughts away, suffocating him, hurting him. Baekhyun struggled harder, saying something that Chanyeol couldn’t register, lost in his own madness, in the realization, in something that he couldn’t run away from.

 

He never let go of Baekhyun, though, shaking him, demanding an answer until suddenly, as they both struggled with each other, Chanyeol’s hold strong on Baekhyun’s arm and the latter’s words unprocessed in his mind, something caught his eyes, a small blotch of color in the dark world of madness that he felt caged in. 

 

Red.

 

Red blossoming on Baekhyun’s arm, on the upper side of his arm, near his shoulder. Drops of red seeping through the fabric of his grey shirt. Not exactly red, but dark. Chanyeol would recognize that color anywhere. A few drops blossoming on his arm like the petals of a lethal flower that immediately sent poison right into Chanyeol’s heart, piercing it, tearing it apart, settling in and spreading through his whole body with every single drop of blood that it pumped. 

 

He froze, wide gaze jumping between the stains on Baekhyun’s shirt and the latter’s startled eyes.

 

Blood.

 

Blood on Baekhyun’s arm, as if seeping from a wound that had been reopened after their small scuffle. On the same spot that Chanyeol’s bullet had grazed Jongin’s murderer’s arm last night. 

 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

In a world where it is extremely difficult for anyone to do anything alone, trust is something that has become essential along the years and yet something that only got harder to give to anyone with each passing day. It was an odd process, having to meet someone, observe them, learn enough about them until you were convinced that they were a decent person, someone that you could _trust_ with your everything or only a small part of your existence. Did it really matter? Whether you gave part of your trust to someone or the whole of it? Giving someone even a small part of yourself could be difficult, depending on what exactly you’re trusting them with. Your secrets? A precious object? The protection of someone else? Your life? It didn’t matter, at the end of the day, everyone needed at least a single person to trust in their life, no matter what the reason behind it was.

 

Maybe it just felt nice to trust someone, to know that no matter what happened, someone would always have your back, whether it be to cover for you when you were skipping class or lying to your parents, or to keep an eye on your back when you were fighting a group of people each holding a knife in their hands. Maybe it just felt nice to know that you weren't alone, that there would always be someone that you chose yourself, that you evaluated long enough to look at them and tell yourself that they could be someone whose hands could hold the heavy weight of your existence. 

 

Chanyeol didn't really have many people he trusted in, he never had. He could even count them on the fingers of one hand, there had never been more than four people and as he thought back on it now, there weren’t even that many people anymore and maybe that was the reason why one of his hands was curled into a tight fist right at this moment, as he stood in the middle of his silent living room. If you had asked him a few months ago, he’d tell you that there were four people he trusted in, the four people he had fought alongside with so many times in the past ten years, then it became five with the addition of Baekhyun who swirled into his life with the strength of a heavy winter storm, making as much damages as any natural disaster, whatever you’d call it, drowning him like the wildest tsunamis, throwing him around like the harshest tornados, and burning his heart into ashes like the most untamable of fires. Then, he slowly erased the people Chanyeol trusted off the list, wrapping his delicate hands around Chanyeol’s own to slowly fold each finger one by one as he ticked off the people Chanyeol had grown up with. 

 

The first one had been Junmyeon and it might have been also the harshest and most painful realization Chanyeol had ever gone through until this exact second. The moment he had realized that he could no longer put his life in Junmyeon’s hands and rest while closing his eyes without an ounce of fear, Chanyeol had felt as if a part of his brain had been clawed off, it made no sense, it had been something he couldn’t comprehend and he had fought it off for a long time but finally, he had come to the realization that Baekhyun had been right. 

 

Everything had somehow flowed naturally after that and he found himself unable to trust Minseok and Jongdae any longer, even Jongin for a little while. It had been so easy even if it had taken such a long time for Chanyeol to come to these realizations and slowly, he had been left all alone with only Baekhyun to trust and no one else. Even now, the only person he had settled on trusting besides Baekhyun was gone, no longer a part of this world. Maybe that was the worst thing that could happen to someone, finding yourself with no one but yourself to trust, lost, alone, and with no choice but to cling to only a single hand with every ounce of strength you had, not even lingering for a single second on the possibility of that hand being the one to cut your breath off at some point in your life.

 

However, what exactly was trust? Who had even created that dreamy notion? How did you even actually put that label on someone yourself? How could you possibly now that you could actually trust someone with anything, especially with your whole life? Was there any special indication? Any special test you could make someone go through before rewarding them with your trust?

 

As Chanyeol stood there, his fingers whitening around the wrist, the hand, of the person he had trusted his whole life, his whole existence, and his whole heart with, it suddenly hit him, like a slap, as strong as the hands of the wind in the middle of a dark and worrisome storm, like the whip of the sea angrily trying to drown anyone on its surface with gigantic and untamable waves once it was tired of being calm and peaceful. Realization struck him, like the first jolt of pain that very first day when Baekhyun’s blade had pierced through his body on that rooftop in the middle of a cold, harsh city that seemed to be sparkling in the night until you actually stepped into the shadows in its backstreets and found yourself chained to them forever. It struck him. Trust was nothing but a mirage.

 

"You played me."

 

His voice rumbled, broken, low, and so vulnerable in the eery silence of the cold, half-empty apartment, almost echoing against the bare walls of the living room, written on the reflection of his expression that he could see in the mirror of Baekhyun’s wide, startled, and confused eyes. Those dark orbs weren’t windows, they had never been windows that Chanyeol could look through. They had always been mirrors, reflecting what Chanyeol gave Baekhyun and what he wanted to see in return.

 

Trust was a mirage, an image that you built out of your own despair and silly hopes. It was something you imposed on someone because _you_ wanted to trust them, not because they were reliable or anything of that sort. No one could be trusted until _you_ decided that they could be, one’s actions wouldn’t determine whether you could put your life or your heart in their hands or not. _You_ always took that decision on your own, _you_ built that image around a person, and _you_ saw them the way you wanted to see them. Because trust was nothing but a beautiful mirage that you painted with your own fingers.

 

Just like Baekhyun was.

 

And at that moment, as he looked into Baekhyun’s eyes, it struck Chanyeol. It made sense. Junmyeon’s earlier words made so much sense now. However, he had been blind, stupid, so easy to manipulate. Because it had been difficult, but he had finally started trusting Baekhyun with his everything. He had trusted Baekhyun, he had never questioned him, he had never pushed him too much for answers, even when he had heard that phone conversation what seemed like ages ago in the abandoned park, when Baekhyun had been talking about a plan with that stranger whom he had met in their warehouse later on, in a place that should have never been frequented by anyone but the two of them. 

 

Everything came to him at once, all his mistakes, all the times he had been stupidly blind and had let Baekhyun lead him on so easily. Everything struck him at once and it felt as if his head was overcrowded with thoughts that couldn’t be meshed together, mixing in, all so different from each other but all carrying the same deadly poison that started dripping into his veins. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t properly sort his thoughts, too many voices were screaming his mistakes at him in his head and as he looked at Baekhyun, as he looked at the blood on his arm, as he remembered the man that had shot Jongin in the warehouse, everything struck him. It made sense. 

 

What if that had been Baekhyun’s plan all along? What if that had been his aim? What if he had gotten closer to Chanyeol only to seep into the very core of Venom? What if he had only wanted to get a hand into Cobra? What if he had been using Chanyeol all this time for that? His head was pounding, voices screaming, memories crashing into each other, knocking into his temples harshly, begging to be voiced out. What if everything had been a lie? All those kisses, those whispered words, those promises, all the feelings that still continued beating in Chanyeol’s heart but might have never lived once in Baekhyun’s? Did he even have a heart? Had Chanyeol really been nothing but a step for him, the first step on the ladder that would lead him to the result of that plan he kept talking about? Had he really manipulated Chanyeol all this time? Had he never loved him?

 

It made sense. It rushed through his veins, the pain, the memory of the blood he could still see on his hands as he had been carrying Jongin’s body to his car, the heartbreak, the sorrow of loosing a brother, the pure and raw feeling of anger that weighed down his chest, making it harder to breath, causing him to almost wheeze as he felt it wrap around his neck, seep into his throat, block his source of life. It had all been a stupid lie. 

 

A beautiful mirage, just like Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun who kept silent, looking at him, glancing down at the blood on his arm with a  glint of panic and something akin to madness in those dark, wicked orbs. It was so easy to get lost in them and forget everything, Chanyeol had done it so many times, they were the source of his mistakes. Baekhyun who looked as if he had no idea what was happening, unaware of the storms he had nestled in Chanyeol’s heart, oblivious to the whirlwind of feelings striking Chanyeol’s body without ever taking a second to let him breath. 

 

It had all been a lie and it made sense and Baekhyun had never loved him and he had been manipulating him all this time and Chanyeol was so, _so_ stupid to trust him.

 

"You fucking played me, Baekhyun," he accused the other, voice ripping out of his throat loudly, enough to make him feel sore already and enough to startle Baekhyun whose panicked eyes only widened more. 

 

He looked so innocent, blood on his shirt, luscious lips parted in confusion, mesmerizing eyes staring at Chanyeol without blinking, as if he had no idea what was even happening. A beautiful mirage, one that Chanyeol wanted to embrace and protect from the whole world even at that exact moment, one that he had fallen for so deeply it was almost impossible for him to climb up the cliff he had been pushed off of. It felt so painful and Chanyeol had thought that losing Jongin would be the worst thing he’d ever go through but right at this moment, as the image he had created of Baekhyun in his head was slowly crumbling down and crushing the last remains of his heart, the pain he had been struck by at the graveyard felt like nothing. This was different, this was killing him, this was making him unable to breath and disgusting by his own pathetic existence.

 

Baekhyun tugged on his bloodied arm again, trying to free it from Chanyeol’s grip, and that single motion was enough to ignite yet another wild fire in Chanyeol’s body. However, this time, the damage wouldn’t only be done to him, the scarlet and orangey flames wouldn’t only turn his own soul into ashes.

 

"Chanyeol, what the hell are you saying? I don’t understand you, can you please just-"

 

"You killed him," he yelled, roaring like a predator mourning the loss of a hunting partner. "You shot Jongin, it was you!" he continued, finally letting go of Baekhyun’s arm in a harsh movement that made the other wince in pain. However, Chanyeol didn’t care, for the first time ever, the slight grimace of pain that flashed on Baekhyun’s face before disappearing was satisfying and yet, it seemed to fuel the fire that was sizzling in his stomach furthermore at the same time.

 

"What?!" was the only word that fell of Baekhyun’s lips, carrying a loud lilt of confusion and surprise. Until the end, Baekhyun would act as if he didn’t know anything, as if he had done nothing wrong. He had always been so good at that, crafting feelings with his beautiful fingers and offering them to Chanyeol on a silver platter, the latter jumping on it like a starved man and never once questioning whether it would be healthy for him or not to devour them so fast. "Jongin is dead?"

 

At that moment, Chanyeol almost wanted to laugh, at himself, at the ridiculousness of the situation, and at the fact that even now, Baekhyun wouldn’t drop the façade he had built for himself. Even as Chanyeol was openly accusing him of something he had obviously done, Baekhyun would continue keeping it up. However, Chanyeol knew now. It had all been a lie.

 

It was getting difficult to contain himself, the fire in his mind was getting wider, turning part of Chanyeol into ashes, dark and thick puffs of smoke seeping into his lugs and swirling in his stomach, almost making him want to puke. He could barely even register what he was doing anymore, it was painful, so painful to realize that Baekhyun had done this to him and without even realizing it, he took a step closer to Baekhyun who seemingly did his best to stay clam, assessing the situation. He was probably trying to come up with beautiful words to blind Chanyeol with, well-crafted lies and enchanting touches but Chanyeol hated it, he hated and it took him a second to realize that he was pushing Baekhyun away, his hands colliding with the other’s chest as he pushed him, accused him.

 

"Drop this stupid façade, Baekhyun, it’s not working anymore," he spat out like a madman, fueled by the surprised expression on Baekhyun’s face. "It was you in the warehouse yesterday, you’re the one who shot Jongin right in front of my eyes," he mumbled, words escaping his mouth in a fast pace, as if running away from the fire in his mind. His voice broke into laughter at the end of the sentence, it was so ridiculous, so humiliating to realize how easy it had been for Baekhyun to fool him so badly.

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun called out, stepping closer to Chanyeol again, his hands raised in front of him as if he were approaching a wild animal that might sink its claws into his nape at any moment, voice trembling the slightest as if he was panicked out of his mind. It was almost satisfying to see it, Baekhyun was probably realizing that it was too late now, he couldn’t convince Chanyeol with pretty words anymore, he couldn’t make him swirl in the palm of his hand. "I didn’t do anything, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t even know Jongin had gotten shot in a warehouse until now and you have no reason to accuse me."

 

Those words were so simple, Chanyeol could have believed them a few days ago but now, every little word that fell off Baekhyun’s lips only seemed like drops of gasoline that only fueled Chanyeol’s fire, growing it bigger and bigger until the flames were on the verge of spilling out of him.

 

Suddenly, his hand shot up to grab Baekhyun’s shirt, fingers tight as he gripped its collar and pulled him towards himself harshly, seeing his own twisted features in Baekhyun’s wide eyes. He hated this, he hated it to so much and Baekhyun had nothing to deny his accusations. He had nothing because they were all true.

 

"I was there, Baekhyun," he said lowly, voice soaring in the air, sizzling like the sound of flames devouring a dry piece of wood. "I saw you."

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun raised his voice, his hand gripping Chanyeol’s on his shirt. "It wasn’t me. Just believe me, I don’t know who told you this but it wasn’t me-"

 

"I said I was there!" Chanyeol cut him. "I was there, I watched Jongin crumble down and I saw the guy who shot and I chased him, ran after him and he was just like you, the same height and the same sniper riffle, Baekhyun. You knew where I was going to meet Jongin, I told you on the phone. I shot him and I managed to touch his arm. Right there," he snarled, feeling like a completely different person as his free hand gripped Baekhyun’s arm right around his wound, fingers almost digging into the slit that he knew was hidden underneath the bloodied fabric of his shirt. The soft sound of pain coming from the other made him want to vomit.

 

"It wasn’t me!" Baekhyun screamed as if it would help his words reach Chanyeol’s mind better so he could poison his thoughts again or maybe simply out of pain, it didn’t matter. Chanyeol shook his head, pressing harder on the wound. "Please, just listen-"

 

"Then how did you get this wound?" he asked, gaze locking into Baekhyun’s, trapping him in place as he could feel the blood on his fingers. It wasn’t Jongin’s this time, it was Baekhyun’s, and somehow, Chanyeol felt even worse. "It’s on the same spot as the guy who shot Jongin." His whole being tried pulling his fingers away from the wound as he saw the pain on Baekhyun’s features mix in with the alarm and the despair in his eyes but he fought it off, pressing harder, wanting Baekhyun to feel at least half of the pain he was consumed by.

 

However, Baekhyun stayed silent, unable to give Chanyeol an answer and the latter was hit with a thousand thoughts all at once. Baekhyun wasn’t fighting back. He wasn’t defending himself hard enough. He was taken aback. He didn’t try convincing Chanyeol. He only tried gaining his pity by acting oblivious and denying everything. Baekhyun would never feel the pain Chanyeol was going through because he had never felt the love Chanyeol carried in his heart for him, it had never been mutual, not even for a single second. It was all an act, a lethally beautiful mirage and Chanyeol could feel the shards of their broken promise stabbing his heart, slowly, one by one, nestling there and wrecking him.

 

"That’s not how I got this wound, Chanyeol. You’re not the one who did it," Baekhyun said through gritted teeth, the voice that had once sounded like the most beautiful melody on earth to Chanyeol now whistling in his ears like the hiss of a poisonous snake.

 

"Then how did you get it? Tell me, Baekhyun. Tell me and I’ll believe you," he asked, demanded, begged because as stupid as it was, a small part of him still hoped that this was all a big misunderstanding, a nightmare that he would wake up from in Baekhyun’s embrace and a message from Jongin with the link to a stupid video waiting for him on his phone.

 

However, silence was the only answer Baekhyun could give Chanyeol, staring into his eyes and begging, pleading Chanyeol to fall right into his trap again with those two diamonds covered in black shadows that Chanyeol had cherished so much only until yesterday. It made him feel insane and Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun again, letting go of him and pushing hard enough until Baekhyun’s back collided with the wall behind him.

 

"You don’t have any excuse, Baekhyun. You can’t even deny it," he chuckled, the empty sound flowing between Baekhyun and him, ugly, empty, and full of disappointment.

 

"Why would I even do that, Chanyeol? I know that Jongin was your-"

 

"Because I asked him to do some researches and hack into Junmyeon’s computer so I could find out everything that you’re not telling me!" Chanyeol cut him off, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation and anger before he stepped closer to Baekhyun, stabbing his chest with his finger as he continued accusing him, everything unfolding so clearly in his mind now. "You never wanted me to know. You kept telling me to be careful of him but you never told me why and that’s why you did it! You didn’t want Jongin to tell me about whatever it is you’re hiding because then, I’d have no reason to stay with you, there would be nothing for you to keep me in the palm of your hand, play with me and make me do whatever you want!"

 

Baekhyun slapped his hand away, frowning, as if the fire burning deep inside of Chanyeol had already burned part of him too.

 

"Do you hear yourself, Chanyeol?" Baekhyun yelled as loudly as Chanyeol did but his voice was shaky, trembling, and empty as if he didn’t know what to say. He probably had not expected Chanyeol to figure everything out. He probably was at a loss.

 

"I hear myself very clearly, Baekhyun. And I can also see you very clearly, you killed Jongin to keep the only thing that bounded me to you. You’ve been manipulating me from the start and like an idiot, I’ve let you do it and I believed every single word that you offered to me," he laughed, not out of amusement, the sound driven by the sorrow and the pain flowing through him.

 

"That isn’t the only thing bounding you to me, Chanyeol," Baekhyun defended himself, voice small, gaze sharp and trembling on the taller who barely even heard him.

 

"You’ve been hiding my past to bound me to you, you’re the only thing linked to the past that I’ve forgotten and if I pushed you away then I would never be able to remember anything and you knew that," Chanyeol repeated, those words flashing in his mind again and again, bright and blinding. "That’s what you used to gain my attention int he first place. You manipulated me all this time, with your kisses and all those touches and those beautiful words but none of it was true and I see it now, Baekhyun," he laughed again, the broken sound falling from his lips as ugly as a heart-wreaking sob. He was so pathetic and as Baekhyun remained silent and unmoving against the wall, simply watching Chanyeol, the latter wondered if he was laughing inside. "Was it fun, Baekhyun? Manipulating me, seeing how easy it was to make me do anything for you? Using me only to get a revenge on Junmyeon or quench your greed for power?"

 

Chanyeol’s broken, choked up voice finally seemed to wake Baekhyun up from his torpor and he shook his head, teeth sinking into his lower lip, eyes glistening with what Chanyeol knew were fabricated emotions. Even then, he felt the lump in his throat grow bigger and he looked away, running a hand through his hair, messing his dark locks up, tugging on the strands harshly with the sole purpose of getting a grip of himself. He couldn’t fall for the same trick again. He had already done it, Baekhyun had already cried for him once and all of it had been a lie. All of it. Chanyeol was the only one in love, he was the only one hanging onto a forgotten past, he was the only one at fault here.

 

"Chanyeol, please. Just listen to me, I have nothing to do with this. Don’t do this to me, stop saying those things and just believe me," Baekhyun begged him and somehow, that was the last straw for Chanyeol.

 

He shook his head, overwhelmed by yet another heavy wave of angry flames as he shoved his hand into his pocket, grabbing what had been hidden there until now only to shove it right in front of Baekhyun’s face, almost hitting him with it along the way.

 

"What was this doing there then, Baekhyun?" he asked, voice reduced to nothing but a whisper as he showed the black and white bracelet to Baekhyun, the one that was supposed to be around his wrist. It was too painful to speak any louder, he didn’t want to hear his own words, his own accusations, and the truth. "What was your bracelet doing there? I found it there after chasing the guy who shot Jongin. What was it doing there, Baekhyun? It’s your bracelet and you just fucking lied to my face about forgetting it in the bathroom."

 

Those words seemed to be like a slap to Baekhyun’s face and the latter silently stared at the bracelet for a few seconds, seemingly surprised to see it there before realization seemed to dawn upon him. Had he not even noticed that he had dropped it in the warehouse? Was it really that insignificant for him? Did Chanyeol really not matter at all for him?

 

As his mind was getting assaulted by those poisonous thoughts, the same liquid running through his veins, dripping from the words flashing in his mind, Chanyeol took a few seconds to notice that two warm hands were cupping his cheeks. His breath hitched and he lost himself in Baekhyun’s eyes for a few seconds, not able to ignore the way even with the alarm in his eyes and the new paleness of his skin, Baekhyun was the most beautiful person Chanyeol had ever laid his eyes upon. 

 

"Chanyeol, listen to me! This is wrong. You got it all wrong and you’re falling for this ridiculous thing, just believe me."

 

That beautiful sight started getting blurry and only then did Chanyeol register Baekhyun’s words and his warm touch, the way it was still so easy to forget everything when Baekhyun looked at him and only him. He hated it. He hated how pathetic he was. He hated how difficult it was to breath, how everything around him was so dark save for the enchanting glint in Baekhyun’s eyes. He hated how it felt as if a hole had been dug through his chest, right where his heart should be. He hated how even now, Baekhyun kept lying to him, how he seemed so unaffected by this, how Chanyeol was the only one going crazy with the thought that everything had been a lie and he had been manipulated until now. He hated how familiar this actually was, the suspicions, the accusations, and the way Baekhyun dealt with it, with that soft voice and those warm touches.

 

Suddenly, it was too much for Chanyeol and he pushed Baekhyun away, freeing himself from his touch but unable to break the chains the other held around his heart. 

 

"Just stop, Baekhyun!" he roared, voice booming in the living room as Baekhyun’s eyes widened in alarm. "Stop lying to me even now, just accept it, there’s nothing you can do about it anymore. Everything’s been a lie and I stupidly believed you but just stop it now, stop trying to manipulate me. Stop being so fucking heartless," Chanyeol heaved out, voice loud, chest heaving up and down in rage as red washed everything else away in his head, those dark thoughts covered by angry and murderous ones, red gleaming in his head, scarlet just like Jongin’s blood had been on his hands last night.

 

Everything had been a lie. Baekhyun’s love for him, their memories, their past, all those times spent together and those stupid and childish bracelets. Rage suddenly carved itself a place in his mind, taking over his brain and controlling each and every one of his limbs. He glanced at the bracelet still in his hand, the black and white braids of the matching one still around his own wrist. It had all been a lie and Chanyeol hated it and before he even knew it, his fingers latched on the braids around his wrist, tugging, pulling harshly until the thin material snapped and came undone around his wrist. Rage glinted a brighter shade of scarlet behind his eyelids each time he blinked but Chanyeol couldn’t see anything but the big fat lie that those two matching bracelets represented, he hated the sight and the flames in his mind wrapped around his body, consuming him, cocooning him in agony as he shook his head, nearing madness while his hold tightened around the bracelets only to let his fingers tug at the braids harshly, until the thin ropes gave in and snapped into broken pieces, the biggest evidence of Baekhyun’s lies slowly getting destroyed by the flames of pain Chanyeol could feel licking his soul, the few drops of heartbreak sliding down his cheeks not enough to tame the fire. 

 

Once the bracelets looked exactly like the perfect representation Chanyeol had of his heart, broken into two, wreaked, unrecognizable, he threw the remains at Baekhyun’s feet and oddly, it felt as if he were throwing away the last pieces of his broken heart at Baekhyun instead, hoping that the shards would be sharp enough to hurt him and wishing that the other would know that no matter what, there would never be a way to fix it.

 

However, there was no trace of emotion on Baekhyun’s features and Chanyeol felt ridiculous in front of him, crying so pathetically when the other remained silent, gaze stuck on the black and white shreds at his feet. Was it enough for Baekhyun to know what was happening to Chanyeol? Was this what he had always wanted? Had he gotten what he had wanted by killing a part of Chanyeol?

 

As if Chanyeol’s despair had screamed loudly enough in his head to be heard by Baekhyun, the latter’s gaze finally fell on him, darker than ever, glinting with emotions Chanyeol had never seen before. A glint of sadness was chased by a shadow of emptiness in his dark orbs and Chanyeol was tired, exhausted of being part of this game so he looked away. There was nothing to see in Baekhyun’s eyes anyway, it was all fabricated, nothing genuine, only schemes and the reflection of what Chanyeol had always wanted to see.

 

He wouldn’t fall for it anymore. He wouldn’t. Anger planted its claws in the hole that had been carved into his chest, widening it further, shooting up jolts of pain through Chanyeol’s whole body, creating little tremors that he could feel in his trembling fingers. He ignored it, curling his hands into tight fists that he craved to crash against something, any hard surface that would cause the pain to burn in his body instead of in his soul. Physical pain would end, but this, this heartbreak would probably never be cured and the sole thought of Baekhyun being able to do something like this to him was enough to cut his breath off with madness, a feeling that kept growing stronger as he watched Baekhyun looking at him with so much fabricated emotions even after everything that had happened.

 

"So, this is it?" Baekhyun finally spoke again and Chanyeol felt the urge to either cut his own ears off so he wouldn’t hear the voice that had whispered him words of love not earlier than a few days ago or silence Baekhyun with a strong punch in the face. His hands started trembling and the other continued speaking, gaze never once leaving Chanyeol’s face, a final tone in his voice, as if he was finally giving up. "After everything that happened, you’re choosing not to believe me? You’re not even giving me the chance to explain?"

 

The only thing Chanyeol could do for a few seconds was laugh at the absurdity of Baekhyun’s words, at the way he could still play the pity card and at the way it actually worked on Chanyeol, the urge to take back everything that he had said and apologize instead so strong he had to sink his nails into the flesh of his palms to keep his anger in check, gaze as sharp as poisoned arrows on Baekhyun.

 

"I gave you that occasion, Baekhyun, and you only lied to me, like you’ve always done. I won’t fall for your lies anymore, I won’t give you the chance to use that power on me now that I know everything was a lie. Everything," he chuckled, empty, bitter. "Down to those memories. Everything," he said, a deep simmer of satisfaction rumbling in his stomach when he saw Baekhyun flinching the slightest at those words. It must be irritating to see that the toy you’ve been playing with for so long wasn’t willing to let you do it anymore and it was oddly satisfying to see those emotions in Baekhyun’s eyes.

 

The need to hurt him was growing stronger with each passing second, just as much as the need to run away and never see the other again. However, Chanyeol controlled himself, he couldn’t afford to take hasty decisions anymore.

 

"What are you going to do now then?" was the only thing Baekhyun replied and Chanyeol almost laughed at those words, one hand coming up to rub his face, wiping away those shameful tears. Baekhyun had the nerve to ask such a thing, as if it was all still a play to him, as if he would take great pleasure in watching Chanyeol struggle for the rest of his miserable life.

 

The question was asked with such a soft voice, as if the other was tired which he seemed to be as Chanyeol looked at him for a few painful seconds. Baekhyun was simply standing there, back against the wall as if he couldn’t support his own weight without any help, hands curled into fists at his side, lips pulled into a frown and droopy eyes staring at Chanyeol. He wasn’t doing anything, just waiting, watching, looking as broken as Chanyeol felt and yet, the latter knew that it was nothing but a façade that he yearned to break through with his own fists, anger pooling in his hands and heating his whole body up.

 

"You killed my brother, Baekhyun," Chanyeol repeated, as if it was still difficult to comprehend, each syllable leaving his lips only adding to the fire boiling in his veins.

 

Baekhuyn had taken Jongin away from him so mercilessly, with a single bullet that had been well-aimed. Jongin had died in an old warehouse, shot without any reason, so unfairly and Chanyeol had promised to protect Jongin with his own life when they had both been only fifteen and Jongin had been crying alone at night in his bed. He had promised to never let anyone hurt him, he had promised to never let anyone who dared hurting him live long enough to see the sun rising again.

 

And suddenly, the fire took control of him, feet carrying him closer to the only person who had ignited it with delicate fingers, hands shooting up to wrap around Baekhyun’s slender neck before he even realized it, fingers digging into the flesh as he squeezed, gaze never leaving the odd glint in Baekhyun’s eyes.

 

This would be the right thing to do. Baekhyun had killed Jongin. He had Jongin’s blood on his hands and no one could continue living with that. Not after everything he had done to Chanyeol. Junmyeon had said they would get revenge and it would be so easy to do it now, to squeeze harder until the life in Baekhyun’s eyes slowly turned into emptiness. It would be so easy to cut his breath off so he could taste the pain Chanyeol was going through at the moment, poison seeping into his whole being with each shallow breath he took. It would be so easy when Baekhyun was so pliant under his hands, not struggling to free himself, not even uttering a protest, only staring at Chanyeol as his face started turning red, coughing and struggling to breath air into his lungs.

 

"You killed him, Baekhyun. You used me and you made me fall into your trap and you took my only support away from me," he said under his breath like a madman uttering a mantra, barely realizing that he was even speaking.

 

It would be so easy to take Baekhyun’s life in exchange of Jongin’s. Maybe he would stop trembling so much if he squeezed Baekhyun’s neck harder, maybe he would be able to get an apology out of Baekhyun’s mouth if he was harsher, maybe the pain would stop flowing through Chanyeol’s soul if he cut its source off.

 

However, the science was only disturbed by Baekhyun’s heaving and gurgling and as Chanyeol felt as if he was choking himself instead of Baekhyun, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it. His lips had painted over Baekhyun’s delicate neck only a few days ago, he had pulled laughter out of Baekhyun’s mouth only a few days ago, he had left him breathless merely by using his own lips only a few days ago, and he had told Baekhyun that he would never do anything to hurt him only a few days ago. 

 

He couldn’t do it, he fought to put more strength into his hands, he forced himself to close his eyes so he wouldn’t see the way Baekhyun was looking at him, empty, resigned, willing to accept anything coming from him, but he couldn’t do it and he hated his pathetic self so much for not being able to free himself from Baekhyun’s chains even now.

 

It was suddenly too much and Chanyeol let out a loud curse, loosening his grip around Baekhyun’s neck and letting the other cough freely and breath in for a second only to push him away harshly with the hand that was still resting on his neck. He heard Baekhyun’s weak body crumbling on the floor, the ugly sound of heavy and panicked coughing filling the room and Chanyeol’s head before he drowned it out with another loud groan, his fist colliding with the wall in a punch that he would have loved to land on Baekhyun’s face but couldn’t, because he was still pathetic and hurting Baekhyun was something he still couldn’t do.

 

The pain jolting through his hand was blinding and his knuckles were reddened and scratched but it wasn’t enough to cover up the scalding pain he could feel in the deepest part of his soul.

 

"I can’t," Chanyeol whispered, almost whimpered as he finally looked at Baekhyun again. The latter wasn’t doing anything, he wasn’t fighting back, only looking up at Chanyeol from the floor, chest heaving up and down, one hand rubbing at his reddened and marked neck in silence. It only worsened everything. "I can’t do it, Baekhyun. I fucking can’t!" Chanyeol screamed, throat hoarse.

 

Why couldn’t he do it? It was so easy for Baekhyun to ruin him over and over again so why couldn’t Chanyeol do the same thing? It would be so easy, he didn’t even have to use his own hands, guns were hidden in several spots in his apartment, he could get one right now and shoot Baekhyun the same way he had shot Jongin but he couldn’t and it was just so unfair.

 

"Why did you do it, Baekhyun?" Chanyeol couldn’t help but ask, voicing out only one of the many questions swarming in his head, tone broken and echoing a lethal dance between sorrow and anger. "You were… You were just so important to me," he continued, meeting Baekhyun’s eyes and cutting his own breath by doing so. "You were the only glimpse of light in my life and I clung onto your so hard, Baekhyun. You were the light at the end of a dark tunnel I never thought I’d be able to get out of but it turns out that the light was only artificial and there’s no way out." He felt pathetic, so pathetic, and Baekhyun’s silence only pulled him deeper into despair. He wasn’t even worth an explanation in Baekhyun’s eyes.

 

Maybe Baekhyun had even been the one to shove him into that dark tunnel, Chanyeol didn’t know, he would never know, and he didn’t want to know anymore. Only one thing mattered and that was the rage pooling inside of him and growing stronger with each passing second. He would act on it, he woulds stop being so pathetic and he would make Baekhyun pay for everything he had done to him. He would. When he’d be strong enough, he would do it.

 

"I don’t want it anymore, though," he continued, taking a deep breath, gathering every tiny ounce of sanity he had left and getting a grip of himself. "I don’t want anything to do with that light anymore and I’ll make sure that it never shines anymore. I’ll take your life away but not today because I’m still pathetically in love with you and I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s funny to you, isn’t it? You must be striving off this," he let out a bitter, dark chuckle, shaking his head. "I’ll do it one day, I’ll take your life away. I’ll have to kill a part of myself before doing it but I’ll do it, Baekhyun. You’ll pay for every single lie you fed me with," he promised himself, those words carved in the core of his being with the dagger that Baekhyun had always been holding against his neck. Chanyeol had let him get close enough to him so easily. "That’s what you deserve."

 

And it was almost comical how those same exact words had been uttered to him by Baekhyun twice in the past, how Baekhyun had blamed everything on Chanyeol for forgetting him and how Chanyeol had believed everything. He wondered if Baekhyun was laughing inwardly, if he had missed this hide and seek game that they were going to take part in once again. He wondered if he was happy to see Chanyeol’s misery, if he had reached his goal yet. He looked so weak, so fragile, so small, looking up at Chanyeol from the floor, as if he was frozen and in shock, as if Chanyeol had actually cut his breath off and sucked the life out of him. 

 

However, Chanyeol knew that none of it was real and he turned away, eyes stinging and soul crumbling into ashes. He couldn’t bear seeing Baekhyun.

 

"You know," Baekhyun finally spoke after what seemed like a lifetime and just hearing his voice was enough for Chanyeol to be struck by yet another wave of pain and anger. His voice was quiet, soft, and full of fabricated emotions Chanyeol should definitely not fall for again. He let his eyelids fall shut, tightening his trembly hands into fists at his sides. "No matter what I tell you now, you’re not going to believe me, Chanyeol. That’s the only thing I’m sorry about."

 

It was unfair. So unfair.

 

"Get out," Chanyeol’s dark, flat voice arose in the room. He couldn’t take it anymore.

 

He heard the sound of clothes rumpling together as Baekhyun probably stood up but he didn’t even glance at him, fighting with every inch of his body not to look his way one last time. It would be dangerous, Chanyeol might slip into the trap again. 

 

"If you ever want to listen, you know where to find me," Baekhyun had the nerve to say and it was the last straw.

 

"Get the fuck out while I let you do so, Baekhyun," he shouted, the sound of his heart breaking barely covered by the sound of footsteps shuffling away from the living room.

 

He heard the door close with a snap and once again, silence wrapped all around Chanyeol’s being, cold, merciless, and stifling, allying with the rage that still jolted through his veins in continuous waves.

 

Once again, he was left all alone in the dark, with nothing but the echo of his heartbreak in his empty apartment and the black and white shards of a broken mirage to mock him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silence had always been something that Chanyeol hated with his very core and he had always done anything possible to avoid it but only half an hour after Baekhyun had left his apartment never to come back again, there was nothing Chanyeol could do to chase the wicked silence away from around him. He could feel it, twirling around him, blowing cold breeze on his nape and painting shivers down his back, laughing into his ears and whispering crushing thoughts into his head. He didn’t even have the will to try and chase it away, get rid of it and give himself a break. He didn’t even have the strength to get up from the floor and drag his eyes away from the remnants of those bracelets. He spent a long half an hour there, alone, the echo of screams and lies loud in his head. There was nothing he could do to escape it, he had nowhere to go besides this apartment anymore, he couldn’t seek comfort in Jongin’s presence anymore, he had no one left.

 

Or maybe he was just scared of moving, scared of what else could be awaiting him outside of this building, what more painful event was just waiting for him to fall right into it in a swirl of confusion. Maybe if he slept it off, everything would be fine. That’s what Chanyeol would have tried doing a few months ago, at least. Not now, though, he wasn’t the same Chanyeol as he had been a few months ago. He could barely even recognize himself anymore. How did he end up like this? At the mercy of a beautiful but lethal assassin who fed him lies for long months and caged him in a  beautiful mirage full of light and life. When did his heart even get big enough for someone to slip into it and take over Chanyeol’s whole life?

 

If you had told Chanyeol that all of this would happen a few months ago, he would have never believed you. It was just so improbable, it sounded like a joke, like something he would’ve laughed at, a story fully crafted by Jongdae’s sick mind at most. However, all of it did happen. He had fallen in love with the wrong person, had let them manipulate him and take Jongin’s life away as a result. It was ridiculous and he hated it but all of it had happened and now Chanyeol was the only one suffering its consequences in silent.

 

The air inside of his apartment was getting stifling and everywhere he looked, he could see Baekhyun’s shadow, hovering over him like a mirage, a reflection of Chanyeol’s life from only a few days ago. He was there, lazing around on the couch while switching the channel as soon as Chanyeol said he wanted to watch something. He was against the wall, smirking up at Chanyeol, proud of having surprised him by picking the lock of his door and waiting for him without the taller knowing about it. He was in the kitchen, breaking eggs and almost sulking as Chanyeol told him to simply stay put and wait until breakfast was ready. He was in Chanyeol’s bedroom, eyelids closed, the trace of a smile lingering on his lips as he slept in Chanyeol’s embrace, lighting up his whole world. He was right here, on the floor, right in front of Chanyeol, so young, smiling like the child that he was, traces of dirt on his cheek and skin flushed from the harsh winter, two twin black and white bracelets in his hand as he described them to Chanyeol, telling him that if you had a friendship bracelet with someone, it meant that you would be best friends forever. 

 

Baekhyun was everywhere, in Chanyeol’s mind, in his memories, and in the pain stabbing through his body. However, it had all been a lie. How could he even be sure that those memories hadn’t been fabricated by Baekhyun too? He didn’t know anymore and suddenly, it was too much. He couldn’t breath in this confided and tiny apartment and he had to go out, he had to throw away the remnants of their bracelets and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to even graze them with the tip of his fingers. He couldn’t do anything but stand up, long legs slowly carrying him out of the living room, out of the apartment, and then out of the building, as if his body was too heavy for him to move in a  normal pace. He had nowhere to go and yet, he kept walking, ignoring the passerby's in the streets, people rushing around him and running errands in the middle of the morning. Right, it wasn’t even noon yet but this day already felt like a whole lifetime Chanyeol couldn’t escape of. 

 

He ignored everyone, simply walking, not even taking his car, walking slowly, without paying attention to his surroundings as he lost himself in his thoughts. Where would he go? There was nowhere to go anymore and he simply kept walking, the fresh air not helping to clear his head at all but cleansing his lungs of Baekhyun’s scent at least. It always lingered in Chanyeol’s apartment, in his bedsheets, whenever he came over and Chanyeol often spent a few seconds just taking it in, breathing in and imagining that Baekhyun was there, next to him. However, today, the scent had not appeased him at all once Baekhyun was gone, it only made him want to cut his breath off so he wouldn’t have to take it in anymore.

 

Before he even knew it, thoughts of Baekhyun, of betrayal and anger filled his head and it was infuriating how time always seemed to fly by so fast whenever he thought of Baekhyun. Chanyeol oddly wasn’t even angry anymore, none of the rage he had been consumed by when talking with Baekhyun less than an hour ago remained in him. He felt exhausted instead, totally and entirely drained of life and energy. He couldn’t pay attention to anything, lost in his own miserable thoughts, replaying in his head everything that had happened in the span of a few pathetic hours, letting his body guide him wherever it wanted to be even if he knew that he had nowhere left to go.

 

However, his unconscious didn’t seem to share the same opinion and when Chanyeol finally looked up from his feet, he had stopped walking and was standing in front of a familiar big house. One that he had grew up in with the man who had given him a new life and a new family, one where he had always gone to for the past few years whenever something was wrong and he needed someone to tell him everything would be okay. One that he had sworn to never go to after Baekhyun had manipulated him into thinking that Junmyeon was nothing but a poisonous monster he needed to get away from.

 

And yet, Chanyeol was there, in front of his house, because he had nowhere else to go, because Junmyeon had always left his door open for him, and because Junmyeon had always been his family. 

 

In spite of that, for the past few weeks, Chanyeol had stopped seeing him in such a way and had distanced himself from the elder. All because of Baekhyun. Chanyeol had betrayed Junmyeon and the latter had no idea of it. And now, Chanyeol felt pathetic, standing in front of that door when only yesterday, he had been questioning every word that fell off Junmyeon’s lips as a result of Baekhyun’s poisonous words. He had crafted Chanyeol’s mind the way he wanted it to be, he had made him believe nonsensical things and now that Chanyeol knew everything had been a lie, he felt pathetic. He had no right to be there, hoping that Junmyeon would offer him the comfort he needed because that was what Junmyeon had always been, a family to go back to whenever something was wrong. Only now, Chanyeol knew that it had been stupid of him to doubt it for even a second and fall for Baekhyun’s lies instead. Had he really been lying about everything? Even about Junmyeon? Probably.

 

Guilt instantly filled Chanyeol up and he had half the mind to turn away and go back to his own house but he had no one left, no one but the family he had doubted all because of a heartless and manipulative person. He raised his hand, pressing on the doorbell and cursing himself inwardly for being so stupid.

 

Surprisingly, when the door opened only a few seconds later, he wasn’t met with the sight of the usual maid but instead, Junmyeon’s curious expression greeted him. Junmyeon never opened the door himself, he never did anything himself, he had a few maids constantly around and Chanyeol was surprised, but not enough for the dark bags under Junmyeon’s eyes to go unnoticed by him. His hair looked perfect as usual but his clothes were a bit rumpled, a sight so foreign to Chanyeol who suddenly couldn’t find anything to say when seeing the man who had given him a life. Chanyeol had repaid him by believing a manipulative monster and at that moment, he was tempted to go back to his own apartment and never get out of it for a whole month if possible. However, the sadness pulling Junmyeon’s lips up into a small smile stuck him in place and he froze, silent, observing the other. Junmyeon had never looked so devastated and it was only little things but Chanyeol had never seen him this way, Jongin’s death had affected him way more than Chanyeol would’ve expected a few days ago.

 

They both kept silent for a few seconds before Junmyeon took a step forward, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and resting his chin on his shoulder, surprising him with an unexpected embrace that Chanyeol only then realized he had needed, only when the other’s warmth seeped a little bit into his own core. It was a bit awkward, he hadn’t been so physically close to Junmyeon in so long, they weren’t the kind to hug each other or openly talk about feelings easily. And yet, Chanyeol found himself returning it and for a second, as he felt safe for the first time in a long while, surrounded by a familiar warmth, a feeling that he had first been offered that blurry day ten years ago when his whole body had been hurting as he laid in the middle of a dark alley, Chanyeol wondered how he had even managed to doubt Junmyeon for a second. He was the only person Chanyeol had left.

 

"Come on in, let’s talk," he heard the elder mutter against his shoulder before he pulled away and smiled a bit at Chanyeol, pulling him inside and gesturing him to the living room.

 

And it had been so easy to come back to Junmyeon, the elder had let him in so easily, opened his doors so easily, completely unaware of the way Chanyeol had thought about him these past few weeks, completely unaware of the betrayal Chanyeol had been manipulated into. He had felt so stupid when Baekhyun kept telling him to be careful but he simply brushed him off and even fought about Junmyeon with him, defending the elder man, but now, as he plopped down on one of Junmyeon’s expensive couches, he couldn’t help but feel stupid for believing Baekhyun instead. Maybe Junmyeon had been right all along, maybe he had only tried protecting him from Baekhyun.

 

All this time, Chanyeol had stupidly allowed a complete stranger to slowly cut the ties with the people he had grown up with.

 

"How are you feeling?" Junmyeon asked after sitting down next to Chanyeol, pulling the latter out of his thoughts. "You left the cemetery so suddenly, I was worried about you."

 

"I’m alright," Chanyeol sighed, shaking his head. "I just had to get out of there, it was getting too difficult to breath," he continued, the same stifling feeling coming back to him as he thought of where Jongin’s body was now resting.

 

"I know what you’re talking about," Junmyeon sighed, pursing his lips, looking down at his linked hands. "It feels weird, right? To know that he’s just not here anymore, that he’s gone, so abruptly," Junmyeon continued, voice soft, steady. However, Chanyeol knew him enough to recognize the sorrow hidden behind that clear tone and his stomach churned with a mix of guilt and sadness. "And you’d think we all would be used to it after encountering death so many times and taking lives away ourselves so often," Junmyeon chuckled that one lonely note of laughter that Chanyeol hadn’t heard in years, since the day he had told Junmyeon that he wanted to move out of his mansion and live on his own.

 

A lump settled in his throat, forming a knot that kept the words in, making it impossible for him to say anything. There were so many things Chanyeol wanted to say, that he was sorry, that he was the one at fault, that it wouldn’t have happened if Chanyeol hadn’t asked Jongin to make some research on Junmyeon, that he had been stupid enough not to listen to Junmyeon’s many warnings about Baekhyun. What would Junmyeon say if he knew? Would he blame Chanyeol? Would he kill him with his own hands? Would he give him the disappointed look that Chanyeol had always hated? Should Chanyeol even tell him? What if he found out on his own one day? Wouldn’t that make everything worse?

 

There were too many questions and too many things to worry about, it was getting suffocating as he looked down at Junmyeon and yet, before he even realized it, words escaped his mouth and he would never be able to take them back.

 

"You were right. Light really was the one who killed Jongin."

 

Those words seemed to earn Junmyeon’s full attention and as he felt his gaze on him, Chanyeol looked down, wringing his hands together. He couldn’t see Junmyeon but he could feel it, the curiosity in his gaze and he knew what the elder was going to say before he even opened his mouth to do it. 

 

"You think so?" Junmyeon asked, as if he hadn’t suggested the same thing only a few hours ago. "What made you change your mind? You seemed to always be on Light’s side until now."

 

There was no accusation in those words, not the slightest, and yet Chanyeol felt guilt planting its claws into his chest, once again reminded of how stupid he had been. It was all there, inside of him, the guilt, the sorrow, the humiliation and it was getting so difficult to hold everything in and keep a façade in front of Junmyeon when the elder had never wanted anything else but his well-being until now. Junmyeon was the only one who’d never betray him, he’d always share everything with Chanyeol, his sorrow, his happiness, and his home.

 

He looked up at him again, unsurprised when met with Junmyeon’s worried gaze after the few silent seconds Chanyeol let pass by between them. How was he supposed to explain it? Should he even say it? Guilt was slowly starting to eat his mind away and Chanyeol needed something, anything, a supportive pat on his back or a harsh punch in the face to bring him back to reality and away from the mirage he had fallen in love with like an idiot. 

 

And somehow, it all flowed out of him at once as soon as he parted his lips. He didn’t hold anything back anymore, telling Junmyeon everything without leaving anything out, comforted by his silence and his familiar presence as he started by explaining what had happened with Baekhyun on their first meeting, the words that had been said and the way he had felt, followed by their second and third meetings, Baekhyun’s unexplainable effect on him and his confusing words, his real name. Then, the memories. It was somehow difficult to get the memories out of his mind and sharing them with Junmyeon helped him realize that none of it might have been true and as Chanyeol talked about their shared childhood, the few dream-like memories he had of it, the bracelets they had exchanged before, the fact that he had found one of them in the warehouse Jongin had been killed in, Baekhyun’s constant accusing words towards the elder and the way he had believed all of it so easily, it all helped him realize that no, this wasn’t a nightmare he’d ever wake up from.

 

It almost felt like he was the listener instead of the story teller and as he unfolded all the secrets he had kept from Junmyeon for the past few months to the elder, Chanyeol only realized that he had been too deep in, he realized the exact moment everything had gone wrong, that day Baekhyun had asked him to meet in the warehouse for the first time, the enchanting words and the beautiful night spent together. Had Chanyeol not gone there, none of this would have happened. If only he had listened to Junmyeon’s warnings, then they wouldn’t be here today and Jongin would still be alive. 

 

Only once he was done retelling everything, left breathless by the way words had just rushed out of his mouth, did Chanyeol realize that he was feeling a tad lighter, as if the weight resting on his chest had been gradually lifted off him with each scene recounted to the elder. Junmyeon finally knew everything and whatever he would do to punish Chanyeol of this betrayal, the latter would accept it. That was what he’d deserve.

 

However, the elder remained silent even after Chanyeol was done telling him everything that had happened with Baekhyun and somehow, that was worse than anything else. What was he thinking about? Why didn’t he look away from Chanyeol even once? He could feel cold drops of sweat trailing down his back and Chanyeol looked away from him, quietly waiting for the first words that came soon after.

 

"I knew there was something going on between you and Light for while now," the elder sighed, running a hand over his face as Chanyeol’s gaze snapped back to him.

 

"How?" was the only thing he found to say even if he had known that Junmyeon was suspicious of him for a while too, the elder had never been too discreet about it.

 

"I know you, Chanyeol," Junmyeon chuckled softly, the sound making Chanyeol’s stomach churn. Of course, Junmyeon knew him and Chanyeol knew Junmyeon just as well and yet, he had doubted him for so long by trusting the words of a total stranger. "You’ve been behaving oddly lately and I knew there was something going ever since you and Minseok went on that mission to interrogate one of our clients that had dropped us for Light instead."

 

Surprise filled Chanyeol at those words, the thought that Junmyeon had known for so long yet had done nothing about it somehow difficult to believe. He did remember that day though, he had been helping Minseok from the rooftop of a building facing the client’s house and he had watched everything through the scope of his snipper riffle as Minseok asked questions to the man and then ended up brutally stabbing him, over and over again after getting answers that Chanyeol had not managed to hear.

 

"What did that man say?" he asked. "Minseok hyung got really violent with him, I remember."

 

"Nothing much," Junmyeon shook his head, sighing. "He just described Light and it matched your description of him too so we figured he had something against us. That’s why we settled on killing him off as soon as possible."

 

Junmyeon was rather clam about this whole issue and somehow, it only made Chanyeol feel worse. He had expected to be screamed at, punched, insulted, or even thrown out of the house but Junmyeon wasn’t doing any of this, he was just looking at Chanyeol, trying to understand him and the latter knew that he deserved anything but understanding at this point.

 

"Aren’t you angry at me?" he couldn’t help but ask, hesitantly.

 

Junmyeon chuckled quietly, the sound empty of any amusement. "I’ve been angry at you at first because I just didn’t know what was going on between you and Light, I thought maybe he was offering you more money and more power."

 

"I’d never betray you for money," Chanyeol frowned, denying it immediately. Money wasn’t the reason why all of this had happened.

 

"I know, kiddo," Junmyeon sighed, reaching to gently pat Chanyeol’s shoulder as if to apologize for even suggesting that. "I didn’t know at first and it was driving me crazy but I got time to get used to it, you know? It’s been a while since I’ve known."

 

"Then why didn’t you do anything about it?" he asked, genuinely curious and maybe a bit accusing too. If Junmyeon had been harsher with him, Chanyeol might’ve not fallen for Baekhyun’s trap.

 

"I just," Junmyeon started, eyebrows furrowed before stopping for a second as if to gather his words. "I just didn’t know what to do, Chanyeol. I basically raised you, we’ve both grown up together and I just never thought that you’d ever betray me like that," he said and the mere use of the word _betray_ was like a punch to Chanyeol’s guts. "I just watched you, hoping that you’d realize your mistakes while still trying to understand what was happening. It felt weird to see you slowly slipping away from us and as unexpected as that might sound, I didn’t know what to do. I was scared that actually confronting you about it would only push you away even more so I tried warning you gently or even taking you out of anything related to Light but I was just at a complete loss."

 

"I’m sorry," was the only thing Chanyeol could say, looking away from the elder in shame. All this time, he had thought that Junmyeon had been doing things behind his back but the elder had only been worried about him and scared to even say anything.

 

"I just couldn’t understand how you were able to trust someone who stabbed you on your first meeting, Chanyeol," the elder almost snorted, pulling Chanyeol deeper into the pit of shame. "I’m only glad you finally realized what was going on and who’s side you actually should be on. Unfortunately, it cost you a life to realize it," Junmyeon sighed and Chanyeol had never hated himself more. It was all his fault. 

 

"I know, I’m really sorry. I’ve been so fucking stupid about this whole situation. Baekhyun was just-" he groaned, running a hand through his hair in frustration. It felt weird to finally say his real name out loud while talking to Junmyeon about him. "He’s just been so convincing and it was really difficult not to believe him. I just wanted to believed him, I guess. I don’t know."

 

Junmyeon nodded, sighing. He didn’t push it further and maybe it really was just enough for him to know that Chanyeol was by his side today and had stopped falling for Baekhyun’s traps.

 

"Why do you think Light killed Jongin? There must be a reason," Junmyeon then asked, humming in thought as he probably tried linking everything Chanyeol had told him to Jongin’s death.

 

That was the only part Chanyeol had left out when telling everything to the elder a few minutes ago. He hadn’t been sure how to tell him that Baekhyun had totally manipulated him into suspecting him but Chanyeol was tired of hiding things from Junmyeon and there was no other way to get out this than to tell him everything. He couldn’t afford to run away from everything anymore.

 

"We met there with Jongin for something important. He was going to tell me something," he started, hesitant and awkward, not sure how to actually breach the topic.

 

"What was it?" 

 

"A few days ago, I-" Chanyeol continued before stopping himself and taking a deep breath. "Baekhyun constantly pushed me into suspecting you, he kept telling me you were betraying me and that I should never trust you. That you weren’t the person I thought you were and after some time, it just was there, in my head," he said, glancing at Junmyeon and looking away as soon as he saw the tiny smile on his lips, a bit of pain in that curve. "But he wouldn’t tell me why, he never really gave me any reason and just kept accusing you so it was driving me crazy. I needed to know why he kept accusing you an the only way was to find it all out myself so I went to Jongin for help. I asked him to hack into your computer," he finally blurted out, silence following his statement for a few seconds.

 

"You asked Jongin to hack into my computer," Junmyeon repeated after him, words carrying surprise to Chanyeol’s ears. He chanced a glance at him, met with a raised eyebrow and disapproval in the elder’s eyes.

 

"It was the only thing I could do," he tried justifying himself. "I needed to know whether Baekhyun was telling the truth or not."

 

"Well," the elder sighed, exhaustion flashing through his features for a second before he got a grip of himself back. "Did he manage to do it?"

 

"He did. He asked me to meet  him there so he could tell me about what he found out and he was about to but then- You know what happened," Chanyeol shook his head. "I guess Baekhyun shot him because he didn’t want me to know whatever Jongin was going to say since there would be no way for him to keep myself tied to him with those suspicions anymore."

 

"It unfortunately sounds like that’s exactly what he did and the only victim here ended up being Jongin," Junmyeon noted, voice soft and full of regret.

 

"It was my fault," Chanyeol couldn’t help but say.

 

"No, Chanyeol. Light is the one who shot him," Junmyeon shook his head, leaning closer to Chanyeol and squeezing his shoulder in support.

 

"Yeah, you’re right," Chanyeol sighed even if deep down, he still knew that all of this was his fault.

 

"Did Jongin manage to tell you anything?" the elder then asked and only then did Chanyeol remember that Jongin had actually told him some things before dying so unfairly. He had been too caught up in everything happening to even remember that small detail.

 

"He did. He told me you used to be a member of Cobra," he said, observing Junmyeon and hoping that the latter would enlighten him on the subject. "What did he mean by that?"

 

It had completely fled off his mind but now that he thought about it, he still couldn’t understand what Jongin had meant by that. Junmyeon didn’t seem to be surprised by his words, judging by the soft hum that escaped his lips.

 

"I guess I should do the same thing as you and come clean too," the elder sighed before shrugging and Chanyeol’s heart started beating a tad faster. He was finally going to get the answer he had been looking for. "You know a bit about Cobra’s history, right?"

 

"Not that much, only a few things Jongin told me months ago. I just know that they’re important partners for us."

 

"He was right, I used to be a member of Cobra when I was younger, before I even met you," Junmyeon said and Chanyeol leaned forward a little, drinking in each word that left the elder’s lips. "I went by a different name at that time and I’d been with Cobra for a long time but it all stopped when the leader was killed and a new, completely different person took his spot. I was just too loyal to the former leader, I guess. I couldn’t accept working for someone who had killed our leader so ruthlessly and took his spot easily so I just left after that. Minseok used to be a member of Cobra too, we decided to leave together like many others did. It was also the safest thing to do, Cobra was slowly crumbling down with the new leader, the higher ups were all at war, divided between those who accepted the new leader, those who were against him, and those who wanted the spot for themselves instead."

 

Somehow, it was barely even surprising of Junmyeon to leave a powerful gang only out of loyalty and yet, some things still didn’t actually match.

 

"You’re still working with Cobra, though," he commented.

 

"The world is a cold place, Chanyeol," Junmyeon chuckled quietly. "Cobra only expanded with the new leader, Oh Sehun worked hard and he was successful enough to turn Cobra into a group you either worked with or worked against. It’s in our benefits to ally with them or else we would have been at war with them a long time ago and let’s face it, we would have lost. Cobra’s a crime group with hundreds of men, there’s only five of us. Four, now," Junmyeon corrected himself, bitterness dripping from his words. "It was difficult to work with them at first but I got used to it and somehow, working alongside them instead of under them is definitely easier."

 

"Didn’t he chase you or anything? For simply leaving like that?" Chanyeol asked, genuinely curious.

 

"He didn’t care, those who left were only enemies and weak people for him. I was lucky enough to found my own assassin clan and make it powerful enough to be one of their allies instead. Of course, it was difficult at first. He made it difficult for people who left and that’s why I dropped my nickname and went with my real name to do business, no one had known my real name when I was in Cobra so it made things easier for both me and Minseok," the elder explained calmly, gaze lost somewhere in front of him as if he were reminiscing the past.

 

It wasn’t difficult to believe and Chanyeol did remember how it difficult it had been for Junmyeon to make a name in the underground world at first, years ago. They used to go weeks without a call from a single client and now, they were the most infamous assassin clan of the city. Junmyeon’s hard work had paid off but he never took all the credit to himself, always thanking each of them for contributing.

 

"If that was all Jongin was going to tell me, then why did Baekhyun have to kill him?" he couldn’t help but wonder. 

 

"That’s exactly why Light did it, Chanyeol," Junmyeon frowned. "Because Jongin had nothing bad to tell you about me, he was probably about to tell you not to believe whatever you’d been told and Light would lose all kinds of credibility after that. That’s why he stopped Jongin before he could destroy his plan."

 

And it made sense. It made too much sense and Chanyeol hated it so much.

 

"I’m sorry, hyung. I’m really sorry for causing all of this and doubting you for even one second, I just-"

 

"It’s okay," Junmyeon’s calm, steady voice cut him off, an apologetic smile on his lips. "I’m just glad you realized your mistake now."

 

It wasn’t enough to erase the guilt and the shame but Chanyeol was soothed the slightest bit by the fact that Junmyeon still accepted him after everything. However, what Baekhyun had done to him would probably never heal and he would probably never understand it fully either.

 

Then, a thought came up to his mind and he hesitated only for a second before voicing it out.

 

"Do you… Do you know anything about my past with Baekhyun?"

 

That was the only thing left to know, the only thing that would keep haunting him, whether everything had been a lie or not.

 

"I don’t," Junmyeon sighed, as if he wished he could have helped Chanyeol. "I just found you in the streets ten years ago and took you in. I know nothing about you, Chanyeol, despite having looked for information in the past. I couldn’t find anything about you and now that you told me you were just a homeless child, it makes sense."

 

Disappointment instantly filled Chanyeol’s chest, the pain that came along with it almost blinding, but the elder spoke again before he could say anything more.

 

"However, now I know one thing for sure," he continued, gaining the younger’s attention again. "Light’s only goal was to turn you against all of us to destroy Venom from the inside while doing the same thing to Cobra."

 

"Why would he do that?" Chanyeol asked, out of despair, out of habit too maybe. He had defended Baekhyun for so long that it would be difficult to stop doing it so abruptly.

 

"Cobra and Venom are the two most powerful crime groups of this country and you told me Light was working with someone. They probably were greedy and wanted to take over and rule over the city in our place. The only way to do that would be to get rid of all of us and they already started spreading unease in Cobra by killing the higher ups one by one. He used you to create a war in the core of Venom, Chanyeol, he just wanted you to turn against all of us and make us fight until we’d destroy each other," Junmyeon explained calmly and clearly.

 

Those were all things Chanyeol had already thought about right after Baekhyun had left him a few hours ago but hearing it from the elder’s mouth only reopened the wounds in his heart.

 

"He was so nice with me, though. In spite of all of that," he couldn’t help but say, words stupidly escaping him without his realizing it. He might never be able to wholly accept the truth.

 

Junmyeon shook his head, an apologetic expression on his face. "What do you feel for him?"

 

"I love him," Chanyeol whispered after a few seconds of hesitation, nails digging into the flesh of his palms as he tightened his hands into fists, pain once again spreading through his whole body, carried in the air by the broken lilts in his voice. He needed to kill that feeling before it ended him.

 

"Love is a feeling that makes someone very easy to manipulate," the elder said and the warmth of his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder didn’t make his words easier to take in. "Think about it, Chanyeol-ah. Light chased you and kept you tied to him with memories and stories that might not even be real. Did he even feel the same way as you did? I don’t think so and I’m really sorry about that. We had this conversation before, I already tried warning you."

 

He remembered the conversation they had only yesterday at lunch, a few hours before Chanyeol had met Jongin. It felt like a lifetime ago. Junmyeon had tried warning him about relationships in their field of work. He had tried protecting Chanyeol and the latter had doubted each and every one of his words. He wanted a hole to open up beneath his feet and suck him in six feet under to a place he would never be able to leave.

 

"You fell in love with him and you were ready to betray us," Junmyeon continued. "That was the only thing he wanted you to do."

 

"But the memories," Chanyeol said, stupidly clinging to a single thread of hope that he just couldn’t burn away. "They felt so real."

 

"Maybe they were," Junmyeon replied, gentle fingers tipping Chanyeol’s chin up to make him look at the elder. Their gaze met and Chanyeol realized that his own eyes were stinging, sight getting a bit blurry but not enough for him not to see the sadness and apology in the elder’s eyes. "But how do you know the Baekhyun in your memories is the same as the one you met today?"

 

Those words seemed to echo in Chanyeol’s head and he had nothing left to say when Junmyeon was gently shoving the truth into his mind, doing his best not to hurt him too much with it.

 

"People change and he only used you to mess with all of us," the elder continued, voice low but words very clear. "I wont allow him to hurt you anymore, though. It’s fine now, you’re with me."

 

Chanyeol parted his lips to say something, anything, apologize to the elder or thank him for everything he still was willing to do for him but none of those came out of his mouth. He didn’t have any ounce of strength left, not even enough to fight off the knot in his throat and speak up.

 

However, Junmyeon didn’t need Chanyeol to speak to understand him, it seemed, and the next thing the younger felt was a comforting warmth as the elder pulled him into his arms, gentle fingers pressing on Chanyeol’s nape until his forehead rested on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Another hand rubbed gentle circles on Chanyeol’s back and he simply basked in the comfort of Junmyeon’s embrace, just like he used to do when he was younger and terrified after waking up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. At the end of the day, only Junmyeon remained there to keep him together, like he had always done for the past ten years.

 

"It’s okay, you only need to trust me," the elder said, words muffled against Chanyeol’s hair but once again clear to his mind. His words were the only thing Chanyeol had left to hang onto. "We’re family and family’s the only thing that will always be there for you. As long as the four of us remain together, with Minseok and Jongdae, we’ll be okay. I’ll always be there for you."

 

And it sounded nice, it felt nice, knowing that no matter what, even if Baekhyun had burned his heart into ashes, Chanyeol would never be alone. His _family_ would always be with him. Junmyeon would always be there for him.

 

"We’ll make him pay," Junmyeon spoke again, the gentle circular movement of his hand on Chanyeol’s back and his warm embrace soothing the latter. "We’ll make him pay for everything he has done to us, to Jongin, and to you. We’ll do it together. That would be the right thing to do."

 

It was the right thing to do and it was what Baekhyun deserved after everything he had done. Chanyeol would need to kill a part of himself off before being able to do anything but he would do it. They would do it together because Junmyeon had just promised him so. They would all remain together and make him pay for everything he has done. Chanyeol would never betray Junmyeon and fall for Baekhyun’s trap again.

 

He had nothing to fear anymore, as long as he stayed with the only family he had.


	20. Chapter Twenty

"So, how are we planning to switch that Light guy off?"

 

The familiar perky, bright, and overly amused voice cut right through the heavy atmosphere draped over the whole room in a way that could be achieved by no one else but Jongdae, startling Chanyeol out of his thoughts. It took him a few seconds to register the fact that Jongdae had just walked into the living room, chasing the loud silence away with his noisy presence as he casually headed towards the couch, plopping down right next to Chanyeol.

 

Usually, he would’ve gotten a reaction out of someone with his lame and mainly annoying humor, usually someone would’ve snorted at that, someone would’ve laughed, or Chanyeol would’ve just grumbled about it and criticized his humor openly. However, that day was different than any other day they had all left behind and Chanyeol could feel it more than ever, the cracks in his heart sending jolts of pain through his whole body at the mere mention of Baekhyun’s nickname  before each tiny and yet agonizing prickle ignited into waves of anger that he tried ignoring. The mention of Baekhyun’s nickname didn’t make butterflies magically appear in his stomach anymore, it didn’t appease him, it didn’t make him smile like an idiot anymore, it only pressed salt into the wound created by Baekhyun himself, reminding him of the betrayal and the heartbreak that he never actually could get out of his mind. It had only been a few hours since he had last seen Baekhyun after all, the sun had completely slid off the sky a mere half an hour ago and it was too soon for this kind of meeting but Junmyeon had insisted for it to happen as soon as possible and had gathered everyone.

 

The elder was seating on the armchair that he usually took place in whenever they gathered in his wide living room, the couch on his left side now occupied by Chanyeol and Jongdae, and the arm chair on the elder’s left occupied by Oh Sehun’s dark and heavy presence. Minseok chose not to sit, as he usually did, and he was simply facing them all, back leaned against the wall across Junmyeon, arms folded over his chest, and features pulled into his usual cold mask of steel. Chanyeol almost felt suffocated by the heaviness of the silence that had taken place in the room as soon as Sehun had arrived and he had felt rather comfortable in Junmyeon’s house for the past hours but now, he craved to get out and take in some fresh air that could help clear his head up. However, Junmyeon had promised him that they would take revenge and he had not lied when he had said that it would happen as soon as possible since it took him only a few hours to gather everyone. Everyone but Jongin whose lack of presence weighed down on Chanyeol as he usually was the one to snort at every lame and nasty joke that Jongdae threw in with each entrance but today, there was only silence and solemnity.

 

Chanyeol was not yet done mourning his best friend and judging by the general silence, no one was. Junmyeon usually would be chatting with Sehun or even Minseok while waiting for Jongdae to show up, or even with Chanyeol but he was in no mood to talk or even listen to anyone at the moment, and despite feeling like everything was happening too fast, he couldn’t even complain. He wanted to be done with this as soon as possible, he needed to avenge his brother and get rid of those dumb feelings for Baekhyun as soon possible, and when Junmyeon had asked him if it was okay to organize a meeting that night, he had accepted. Sehun’s presence hadn’t come to his mind, though, but he supposed that it was still a case that Cobra and Venom shared and Sehun’s attendance should be natural.

 

"You’re late," Junmyeon simply noted, exhaustion still palpable in his voice, or maybe it was simply because he was used to Jongdae being late to all of their meetings.

 

Chanyeol felt Jongdae glance at him and he returned it for a few seconds, observing him. Despite his entrance being no different than the usual, it was obvious that the other was as affected by this as everyone else was, the shadows covering the skin under his eyes and the lack of playful sparkle in his eyes enough for Chanyeol to know that he hadn’t spent a good day either. Maybe this was his own way of dealing with the pain, by acting like everything was okay and making silly and irritating jokes like he always did.

 

"Only by five minutes instead of half an hour, though. Isn’t that progress, boss?" Jongdae shrugged, gaze resting on Junmyeon once he was seemingly done checking how Chanyeol was.

 

Minseok’s quiet snort reached his ears and Chanyeol observed as Jongdae grinned at the elder before Junmyeon cleared his throat, a sign that he wanted to breach the subject of this meeting as soon as possible. Everyone quietened down and Chanyeol took a deep, slow breath to brace himself for what was about to be said for he knew it wouldn’t be easy to hear even if he had told himself right before Jongdae’s arrival that he would do anything it took to make Baekhyun pay for everything he had done to him.

 

"I assume you all know why we’re gathered here tonight," Junmyeon started, gaze traveling between the three members of his own clan. "Sehun’s here with us because it had been decided a long time ago that we would be collaborating with Cobra on this case and he has the right to be here and discuss this matter with us."

 

"Firstly, I’m sorry for your loss," Sehun started, voice blank, tone not exactly matching his words but carrying authority and power nonetheless. "I know Jongin was a great asset for you, maybe even for all of us, and it’s such a pity that things had to turn out this way," he continued and Chanyeol felt each fiber of his body tense up at the way this man described Jongin as if he were a mere weapon, nothing but a replaceable object that had been of great use until it suddenly stopped working. For the first time, he felt irritation spike up in him against Sehun, growing stronger with each intellectual and yet insincere word leaving the man’s lips. "His loss is certainly going to affect all of us but I hope we can prevent any more damage by all working together to finally put an end to this situation. Light has bothered us for long enough now."

 

Chanyeol simply sunk his teeth into his lower lip, trying his best not to say anything that would get him in trouble. Why was Sehun talking about this so lightly? Hadn’t he lost a few men because of Baekhyun too? Wasn’t it his own and his men’s incompetence if they hadn’t managed to catch Baekhyun until now?

 

However, hadn’t it been Chanyeol’ s own stupidity that prevented him from helping them and actually offering Baekhyun to them on a silver platter when he had the occasion to do so many times? That thought only angered him further but he kept silent, simply listening as Junmyeon started talking as well.

 

"It really is time to put an end to this before we lose anyone else," he said, gaze lingering on Chanyeol who avoided it by looking down to his own hands. "Jongin’s death was the last straw and I think it’s time to stop playing around and try harder. We also might have more information on him now so it might be easier."

 

"More information?" Jongdae asked from next to Chanyeol and the latter felt like running away from all of this. Like the coward that he had always been.

 

He felt Junmyeon’s gaze on him and the elder seemed to hesitate for a few seconds before parting his lips again and it had been stupid of Chanyeol to hope he wouldn’t reveal anything to the others. It was a crucial piece of information after all and even if Chanyeol already felt his body crushed under the weight of shame, he deserved it. If everyone knew how stupid he had been, maybe it would serve him as a lesson and he wouldn’t fall into anyone’s trap ever again.

 

"Chanyeol managed to find out that Light really isn’t working alone, which we all have been suspecting for a while now and I think we’d be able to get him through Chanyeol too," Junmyeon said, silence following his statement.

 

Chanyeol should probably be thankful that the elder had not outright revealed everything and said that Chanyeol was an idiot who had stupidly fallen in love with a heartless manipulator after believing in all his appealing lies and had been used as a mean to destroy both Venom and Cobra but somehow, the lack of actual information probably had a worse effect on everyone. He forced himself to finally look up from his hands, glancing at Jongdae from the corner of his eye first and almost cursing himself out loud when their eyes met, the realization in Jongdae’s features adding weight to the shame stepping all over his body and suffocating him. He was smart and had a lot of creativity, Jongdae probably didn’t need to actually hear the whole story to figure out what Junmyeon had meant by those words and by the lack of shock or snarky remark, it was even possible that he wasn’t even surprised by it. Had Chanyeol been that obvious? 

 

He broke the eye contact with Jongdae to look at Minseok instead, not even surprised by the lack of reaction coming from him. Nothing could be seen on his features besides his usual blankness and nothing had changed in his stance either, if he did feel surprised, he was really good at hiding it. Chanyeol was thankful for that, he knew how hurtful Minseok could get once he was disappointed in someone and Chanyeol hadn’t received that kind of reaction ever since the times Minseok was training him therefore, he was glad that he wouldn’t encounter it again today. He sighed, not even looking at Junmyeon, the shame preventing him from doing so. Even now, after Chanyeol had betrayed him in the worst way possible, Junmyeon was still somehow protecting him by not revealing anything and Chanyeol had really done nothing to deserve this kind of treatment. 

 

Would he have reacted the same way if he were in Junmyeon’s shoes? Would he have been so calm and accepting if the child he had basically raised up as his little brother and taught everything until he could become the best sniper of the country had betrayed him? Chanyeol would have expected to be kicked out of the clan or even killed for being so stupid and yet, Junmyeon had opened him his home and had given him forgiveness so easily, even that added up to the hungry wave of shame eating him up endlessly. It was weird, Chanyeol would’ve expected another reaction and yet, he should only be thankful for it at the moment. If all of this happened, it was exactly because Chanyeol had been led to question everything Junmyeon did and he had learned his lesson now, he would stop doing it.

 

"How would that happen?" Sehun asked, his gaze meeting with Chanyeol who instantly disliked the meaning hidden beneath his words and the raised eyebrow that gave him an air of condescension, as if he knew exactly what Junmyeon had meant by those words. His dislike for Sehun only kept growing stronger by the minute and if he weren’t scared of upsetting Junmyeon more than he already did, Chanyeol would’ve said something to let the other know of his feelings.

 

"He’s probably going to try contacting Chanyeol again and as soon as that happens, Chanyeol is going to tell us so we can set up a trap for him and get rid of him once and for all," Junmyeon announced to the whole room with a final tone that almost froze Chanyeol’s heart in his chest.

 

He shouldn’t really be surprised, he had been expecting this kind of demand and he had tried bracing himself for it. It was only logical after all, Baekhyun would probably try contacting him again he had said so himself, that he would wait for Chanyeol to listen to him whenever he was ready to do so and if Chanyeol didn’t contact him first, he would probably do it instead. He would probably try pulling Chanyeol back into his web of lies, trapping him there to turn him into a weapon that he would use against the people who had raised Chanyeol. That had been his aim from the very beginning and Chanyeol was aware of it now but the mere thought was enough for pain to squeeze his heart, claws of betrayal and shame coming together to stab his core again and again, mercilessly.

 

"Would that work, though?" Sehun’s irritating voice rose in the room again and Chanyeol took a deep breath, feeling Jongdae tense up next to him as if he could feel the straightness of Chanyeol’s spine and shoulders in his own body, tension bleeding from him to the shorter. 

 

"It will. Right, Chanyeol?" Junmyeon asked and suddenly everyone’s eyes were on him, judging him, suffocating him, full of disappointment and expectations, full of threats and last chances. Or maybe that was just Chanyeol’s paranoia talking, either way he knew that this was his last chance to prove himself. This was his last chance to redeem himself and make Baekhyun pay for everything, for the betrayal, for the lies, for the pain, and for Jongin’s death.

 

However, would Chanyeol be able to do it? Only yesterday, he had felt his heart flutter at the mere sound of Baekhyun’s voice, only a few hours ago he had felt his soul ripping apart at the duality of the feelings he nurtured for Baekhyun, the consuming anger and the deep love that was still nestled in a part of his broken heart even now. Would he be able to lure Baekhyun in or would he once again fall into his trap and fail as soon as he’d even hear his voice? Baekhyun had betrayed him but would Chanyeol be able to do the same thing and lead him right into Junmyeon’s claws? Would he be able to stay put and watch as the man he loved, the man he had shared an unfortunate and rough childhood with, would be beaten up, tortured, and killed? Would he be able to imagine a life without Baekhyun? Without his beautiful smile, his sparkling eyes, his melodious laughter, and the light that he infused into Chanyeol’s life?

 

Suddenly, Chanyeol realized the stupidity of his own thoughts and almost, _almost_ laughed at himself out loud. Why was he still thinking of Baekhyun in such a positive and stupid way? Baekhyun was none of those things, Baekhyun was nothing but a heartless manipulator who had locked Chanyeol up in a cage made out of lies and mirages. Chanyeol had to stop. He had to stop trying to keep his hopes up. He had to stop thinking that all of this might still be a misunderstanding when Jongin had been pushed into a grave by Baekhyun’s own beautiful hand. He had to put an end to those stupid feelings that kept lingering in him. He had to stop letting Baekhyun have that wicked effect on him. He had to stop being so pathetic and laughable. He had to do it. He had to do what Junmyeon said. He had to put an end to Baekhyun’s very own existence if he wanted to free himself from his venomous claws. 

 

He had to do it, for himself, for Junmyeon, and for Jongin. He had to.

 

"Yeah, I’ll do it. I’ll do my best for it to work," his voice arose in the room, full of determination, dusting connotations of hatred in the air, sprinkling small particles of pain around. He felt each of them land on his own body, burning his skin, seeping into his flesh, biting into his soul and reverberating through his whole body in an agonizing way. 

 

His answer seemed to appease Sehun who stayed quiet after that and Chanyeol barely even glanced at Junmyeon’s almost relieved smile before shutting everything out. That had been the only thing they had all wanted to hear from him anyway, that he would work with them, that he wouldn’t betray them again even if the fact that he had done so hadn’t even been said explicitly. However, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself be so stupid ever again and he would do his best to make Baekhyun pay. That was the only way he would be at rest, even if right now, it seemed impossible for Chanyeol’s tortured soul to ever be at rest again after everything that happened. 

 

He barely took part in the discussion after that and there wasn’t really anything to listen to either, Junmyeon and Sehun simply came up with different ways in which they could get a hold of Baekhyun with Chanyeol’ s help and the latter couldn’t find it in himself to listen to anything he would have to do if he ever managed to contact Baekhyun again. Jongdae barely participated as well and Minseok simply listened like he usually did.

 

Chanyeol was simply lost in thought and maybe he was still having a hard time processing everything, the fact that he had lost his best friend, that he had lost the man he loved, that the latter had never even loved him. He only had his family left and it was almost ridiculous, the way he was clinging to the thought that Junmyeon would never leave him alone when up until yesterday, he had questioned everything that came out of the man’s mouth. He supposed that things could always change overnight or even in the matter of a few minutes, of a few seconds, to never go back to the way they were before, no matter how weird everything felt.

 

And maybe that was for the best. Maybe it was better this way, it certainly was. Who knows what Baekhyun would’ve made him do had he not realized that there was something wrong between them? Chanyeol had been blind, he had been blinded by his love for Baekhyun and it had never once crossed his mind that anything of this sort could happen in spite of all the warnings he had gotten both from Junmyeon and from Jongin as well. How far would he have gone for Baekhyun? He had been on the verge of hating Junmyeon, the man he owed his life to, he had actually even started hating him, questioning all his words, suspecting all his actions and how far could that have gone? Chanyeol would have believed everything coming from Baekhyun and the latter could’ve made him do so many things because of that, he could’ve taken even more advantage of Chanyeol, he could’ve pushed him to _kill._ And he had a feeling the person he would’ve been asked to get rid off would’ve been Junmyeon.

 

As horrible as that sounded, even now, Chanyeol could say that he would’ve done it without hesitating if Baekhyun had asked him to and a shiver of disgust at himself traveled through his whole body, shaking his insides up and making him nauseous at the mere thought of how bad things could’ve been if nothing had stopped it. The worst thing was that it took Jongin’s death for Chanyeol to realize everything and he probably would never forgive himself for it.

 

"Chanyeol," a sudden gentle voice startled him out of his thoughts and he looked up sharply, a bit dizzy as a result of the sudden movement.

 

He was met with a concerned furrow of Junmyeon’s eyebrows as the man leaned down towards him, standing in front of Chanyeol, his warm hand resting on the latter’s shoulder as if he had tried shaking him a bit to earn his attention until he had finally succeeded. He blinked once before looking around, surprised to find that the living room was now empty aside from the two of them. When had the others left? He must’ve been so deep in thought that the hadn’t even noticed.

 

"They all left five minutes ago," Junmyeon explained, probably understanding Chanyeol’s silence like he so often did. "Well, Sehun left and Jongdae and Minseok are going to stay here tonight so they’re in their room."

 

"Really? I didn’t even notice I was the only one left here," Chanyeol let out an awkward chuckle to conceal his discomfort and Junmyeon smiled a bit, pulling his hand away and shaking his head.

 

"You were lost in thought and didn’t look so well so I just left you to your own. You didn’t miss much, we discussed a few more things for around twenty minutes before they left," Junmyeon explained, observing him as he pursed his lips. "Are you okay?"

 

At that question, Chanyeol almost had a hard time containing his dry laughter. That was such a stupid question that Junmyeon would, of course, ask because he was just too kind and concerned for Chanyeol’s well-being and yet, it was simply a stupid question. How could Chanyeol be okay after everything that happened in the last twenty four hours? He was slowly losing himself, he had a harder time grasping his own thoughts with each passing second and there was nothing he could do to appease the low-burning fire nestled in the pit of his stomach, constantly burning his skin, and his thoughts, and his flesh, and his soul, and his entire existence, enough for Chanyeol to wish he wouldn’t exist anymore.

 

The worst thing about it all was that he found himself pathetic, he could do nothing but pity himself and curse himself because there was literally nothing else he could at the moment. Half of him wanted to simply go on a killing spree and shoot whoever would cross his path first simply to unload the heavy anger that still kept creeping in his veins, and the other half of him wanted to find Baekhyun and finish what he had started in his apartment, get answers and get a proper apology. However, the best thing to do would be to simply kill off the feelings he had for Baekhyun in order to be able to do the same thing to the latter. He didn’t know whether he’d be able to or not but that was something that he didn’t want to think about right now, he simply wanted to sleep for a long time, enough for his soul to go numb and stop aching as much as it did right now.

 

"Yeah, I’m alright," he simply said, not sounding convincing enough even to his own ears.

 

He heard Junmyeon sigh again and looked up at him, not even actually seeing him properly.

 

"Listen, Chanyeol," Junmyeon started as if he had taken the time to gather his own thoughts while Chanyeol had been lost in the maze of his. "It’s still kind of early but I can see that you’re exhausted and need to get some rest so why don’t you spend the night here too?" the elder offered with a light smile that Chanyeol stared at for a few seconds. Junmyeon’s smile didn’t have the same shape as Baekhyun’s. He chased that thought away and focused back on the other’s words. "Your room is already ready, it always is, you know that. It might actually even be safer for you to spend a few days here instead of going back to your own apartment, you can stay for as long as you want. You know this is your home as much as it is mine."

 

His words were uttered with a warm, gentle voice that caressed Chanyeol’s ears like a lullaby and reminded him of how little sleep he had gotten the past few days. Maybe a proper night’s sleep would help clear his head up and gather his thoughts. Moreover, Chanyeol knew Junmyeon would probably spend the whole night worrying about him if he simply went back home and that would only amount to a tensed up mood in the morning, something that none of them needed at the moment. He’d feel safer here, in the house he had grown up in, near the elder, knowing that Baekhyun wouldn’t come looking for him here, aside from in his dreams which he hoped wouldn’t happen. He already knew Baekhyun had been a beautiful mirage, he didn’t need him to be a dream or a nightmare either.

 

Or maybe he was simply looking for excuses and trying to justify himself since he knew there was no way he could step into that apartment again when each corner he’d look at would be tainted by the image of Baekhyun’s beautiful and lethal smile. He wouldn’t be able to spend even a few minutes in there when the echo of Baekhyun’s laughter, of his teasing words, of his confessions, and of his lies would be loud and clear between the walls that Chanyeol would feel suffocated by. He couldn’t step into that apartment when the black and white shreds of their love were still left on the floor, as if waiting for someone to pick them up and fix everything again. 

 

That wouldn’t happen, though, and the smartest thing to do right now would be to accept Junmyeon’s offer. Nothing would happen to him as long as he’d stay with Junmyeon.

 

"Alright, I’d like that," Chanyeol finally replied, words laced with an empty sigh as he stood up. "I think I should go to bed right now, I’m really tired."

 

"I know you are," Junmyeon replied in the same tone, motion him to follow him as he guided Chanyeol upstairs and towards his bedroom.

 

There was no need for him to do that as Chanyeol knew this house like the back of his hand and yet, Junmyeon’s presence wasn’t unwanted, it was the only constant thing in Chanyeol’s life and a comfort that he didn’t want to deny himself at the moment. He silently followed Junmyeon, barely registering his own movements and unable to feel anything but the exhaustion that seemed to tug his whole being down into an endless pit.

 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they stopped in front of a familiar door that Junmyeon pushed  open, stepping inside just enough to let Chanyeol walk in as well. The latter looked around once with disinterest, too tired both mentally and physically to even feel anything about walking into his room again.

 

"Thanks," he simply said, turning to Junmyeon and trying his best to tug the corners of his lips into a smile that probably ended up looking more like a grimace than anything else.

 

Junmyeon returned it with a real smile that was, however, tinged with more sadness than joy and Chanyeol felt a pang hit his heart at the thought that it was his fault, everything was his fault. But he’d fix it, somehow, he’d redeem himself.

 

"Don’t mention it. You shouldn’t even be thanking me," Junmyeon sighed as Chanyeol plopped down on the bed, looking at the elder as he remained by the door.

 

"Hyung, what are you saying?" Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, unable to put any sense to Junmyeon’s words. He should be doing more than just thanking him with words, on the contrary. "You’ve forgiven me despite everything, you’re still taking care of me and you haven’t even reacted too strongly to all the things i told you earlier. Had it been anyone else, they would’ve killed me but you? You simply offered me to stay here so I’d be safer," Chanyeol argued, honest in everything he said. He would never be able to repay Junmyeon for everything.

 

"I wouldn’t do anything to harm you, Chanyeol," Junmyeon shook his head, tone clearly indicating that it was stupid of Chanyeol to even bring up that possibility. "I’m just," he started, cutting himself off as if unable to voice his thoughts out properly. "I’m just really sorry that I haven’t been able to prevent any of this from happening. I should have done something to protect all of you instead of just waiting and hoping for things to turn out okay."

 

Somehow, Chanyeol felt something in his chest crack at the sight of the pure guilt on the other’s features and he felt a small jolt of surprise at the fact that there was even anything left to be more damaged in his chest but it was nothing compared to the whole wave of shame that engulfed his whole body at the fact that Junmyeon was apologizing when everything that had happened had been none other than Chanyeol’s fault. Junmyeon had done nothing wrong, he had always been so kind to Chanyeol, even now when a more violent reaction could’ve been understandable, and yet he was apologizing, something that he rarely did. 

 

He had taught Chanyeol himself that an apology was like a crushing your own pride, that you shouldn’t apologize, _ever,_ because a real winner never cared about consequences and only focused on the result. He had told Chanyeol long years ago that an apology should be given only when it was absolutely needed, only when your soul screamed at you to do it, but not to apologize easily because it was a sign of weakness. Junmyeon never showed signs of weakness to anyone.

 

"You did nothing wrong, hyung," he shook his head, running a hand over his face in frustration and despair. "You really did nothing wrong."

 

"You didn’t do anything wrong either, Chanyeol. Feelings just happen don’t blame yourself too much for that, alright?" the elder replied, taming the fire coursing through Chanyeol’s veins only a little. It was so weird, how calm Junmyeon was about everything and yet, it wasn’t surprising. Junmyeon had always managed to remain calm under any circumstance, no matter what.

 

"Thanks," he smiled, a real smile this time albeit a tiny one that lingered for no more than a mere second. "We’ll make them pay together, right?" he asked, or reminded himself. That was the only thing he had left to hang onto, the will to make Baekhyun and whoever was helping go through twice as much pain as he was going through, even if it might only worsen his case at the end.

 

He would do it. He was going to do it. No matter how hard it was going to be. No matter how painful it would be for him. His anger and heartbreak wouldn’t allow him to properly rest until he’d be able to do it, it would guide him, push him further, fuel the fire nestled inside of him until it annihilated its own source. He would do it. 

 

"We will," Junmyeon nodded, returning his smile, features morphing into his usual calm and collected expression. "Goodnight," he said after a few seconds of silence and Chanyeol returned it to him with a mutter before dropping his whole weight on the bed, laying on it and finally giving his body the break that it deserved.

 

The night would be long and the following day might be even longer but at least, Chanyeol knew that he had a purpose that would keep him going for the following days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I would’ve greeted you with something like ‘good morning, Sleeping Beauty’ but with your current appearance, it would be an insult to the actual Sleeping Beauty."

 

Chanyeol wasn’t even surprised when Jongdae’s annoying voice once again greeted him as soon as he walked into the kitchen, exhaustion and sleep still dripping from each cell of his body. His friend’s words obviously added more to his already sour mood but he couldn’t even say anything to defend himself when he had winced as soon as he had caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror of the bathroom once he had managed to drag himself out of bed, a few minutes ago.

 

The night had indeed been long and he hadn’t managed to get much sleep, head swarming with too much thoughts and preventing his body from giving in to the exhaustion until it was already really early in the morning. He hadn’t even managed to reach any kind of conclusion either, nothing had changed about how he saw this whole situation, Baekhyun’s obvious manipulations, Junmyeon’s too calm reaction to all of this, and the pain brought by his best friend’s death. Nothing had changed, things still didn’t turn out to be a nightmare.

 

"Where’s Junmyeon hyung?" Chanyeol asked Minseok instead of paying attention to Jongdae.

 

They were both seated at the kitchen island in the middle of the room, mugs filled with coffee smoking whitish trails into the air as they both paid more attention to Chanyeol than to their warm beverage. Jongdae had a concerned look in his eyes that his usual dumb antics couldn’t conceal and Minseok was observing him quietly, studying him with his cold eyes for a few seconds before letting his gaze slide down to his coffee again.

 

"He left for a meeting half an hour ago," the elder answered before taking a sip of his drink.

 

Chanyeol simply nodded, not feeling like asking any more questions when he had a hard time walking straight, sleep still trying to tug his eyelids down. However, he had a long day ahead of him and he didn’t want to sleep, he had to do something, anything, he had to ready himself for what was bound to happen. His feet scrapped the floor as he dragged his body towards the coffee machine when he caught glimpse of the dark beverage still left in the container, grabbing a mug from one of the cupboards before filling it with the bitter liquid. He never really liked the taste but he needed it to keep his body awake for now so he took a big gulp, leaning against the counter as he faced his two friends who had grown silent as soon as he had entered the room.

 

He noted that it was the first time he had seen Jongdae and Minseok alone in the same room after learning about the twisted and odd relationship they had and he couldn’t help but observe them as he sipped from his mug. Nothing really looked different, Minseok was still quiet, calm, and as cold to everyone as usual and Jongdae was still irritating and made useless and uncomfortable jokes and yet something did feel different about them. Jongdae somehow looked calmer, he usually wouldn’t even be staying still at this time of the day, bouncing a leg in place even as he was sitting down, drumming his fingers against any kind of hard surface or even already out doing god knows what with whom. He had never really tried imagining them together as it was somehow uncomfortable for Chanyeol to do so, he had always thought of all of them as brothers and knowing that Jongdae was probably doing at least half of all those nasty things he forced Chanyeol to listen to –which happened on all the mornings they met right after he came back from a stranger’s house– with Minseok, of all people, was disturbing to say the least.

 

Nothing of that sort could be seen right now, though, nothing had really changed about them besides the fact that Jongdae had been calmer and more obedient than usual these past few days. They were also sitting a bit closer to each other, Chanyeol could see that Jongdae’s hand was resting on Minseok’s thigh which was quite impressive since the latter hated physical contact and had it been anyone else, they would’ve probably already lost their whole arm. He supposed Jongdae was special now. Chanyeol was incredibly grateful that all Jongdae was doing right was resting a hand on Minseok’s thigh.

 

"How are you feeling?" Jongdae’s question cut through his rather disturbing thoughts and he took another sip of coffee before shrugging.

 

He was tired of hearing this question when everyone already knew how he was feeling. Angry. Hurt. Betrayed. Tired. Confused. The usual. Nothing much had changed, on the contrary, everything just seemed to worsen and Chanyeol was getting tired of it, he wanted all of it to end and yet, he wasn’t even sure he’d be able to end it himself.

 

"I don’t really know," Chanyeol sighed, gaze lost in the dark pool gathered in his mug. It oddly looked like an accurate representation of the life Chanyeol was currently drowning in. "It doesn’t really matter, we only have one thing to do anyway."

 

How Chanyeol was feeling didn’t matter anymore, he shouldn’t pay attention to it, he only had one thing to focus on and that was to redeem himself and get the revenge that he craved from Baekhyun. He took another sip of coffee to wash the bitter taste off his mouth and replace it with an even bitter taste.

 

He heard Jongdae sigh, the concerned expression on his face heightened by the furrow of his eyebrows as he looked at Chanyeol.

 

"We’ll all get through this together," he said, serious for the first time in a  long time, as if trying to comfort Chanyeol. He felt something pinching his heart and looked away. 

 

"I know we will, thanks," he replied, genuine. He only had Jongdae, Junmyeon, and Minseok to rely on from now on, just like it had always been the case. 

 

"I know you’re not fine right now," Jongdae spoke again and Chanyeol looked at him, feeling slightly ridiculous now that even _Jongdae_ was being so kind to him. He had to get a grip of himself back. "That’s why you should’t take hasty decisions, don’t let your emotions get to you," he continued, pulling Chanyeol’s eyebrows into a frown.

 

He had heard that sentence so many times before and he was getting tired of it as well.

 

"I won’t do that," he replied through gritted teeth, his grip around the mug tightening.

 

"If we’re here today, it’s only because you acted with your emotions instead of your head."

 

Minseok’s icy, blank voice cut through the air, slicing through Chanyeol’s chest like the sharp and cold blade of the many knives he always kept around him, piercing through his façade for a single second. No one had ever said that to him, not Jongdae, not even Junmyeon, and Chanyeol knew it was completely true but actually hearing it was like a punch to the guts, a strong one that cut his breath off for a single second and sent blood straight up to his mouth. The fact that Minseok, who had been quiet and had not commented the situation even once up until now, was the one to actually say this to Chanyeol only worsened the feeling and he froze for a few seconds, unable to come up with any kind of answer to defend himself when there really was nothing in his favor.

 

He wasn’t wrong, if things had turned out to be this way it was only because Chanyeol had let his emotions overwhelm him and influence every decision he had taken until now instead of thinking about it in a thorough and objective way. He knew that and he heated hearing it, he hated how far everything had gone and how stupid he had been about this whole situation. How had he gone from a heartless assassin to a mere stupid man manipulated through his feelings?

 

He hated it and he had nothing to say to defend himself, only shame trying its hardest to push him to run away again but he tried his best to keep his feet stuck where they were, refusing to give in to the urge to flee this place. He didn’t want to run away from things he didn’t like anymore. He would face everything and redeem himself, no matter how difficult it would be to do that. He was going to stop running away from what he didn’t want to face, he was going to stop working with his emotions instead of his head. 

 

"At least, Chanyeol has emotions," Jongdae’s voice cut through the heavy atmosphere before Chanyeol could form a decent reply, somehow sharper than Minseok’s tone, carrying a bit of anger, a lilt of accusation, and shards of ice.

 

Chanyeol’s gaze slid to him and he was surprised to see him glaring at Minseok, the hand that that had been resting on his thigh pulled away to grip his mug instead, knuckles whitening as a sign of how hard he was gripping the innocent object. He had never seen Jongdae look so angry, not even when he was trying to extract some information out of someone while giving them as much pain as possible without killing them. Even when he was just doing his job, there was no real anger in his eyes, just a glint of madness and satisfaction coupled with a disturbingly wide smile on his lips, the complete opposite of what Chanyeol could discern on his features right now. It was something that he couldn’t even fully comprehend, a real, angry frown, lips pulled into a straight line and eyes dripping with a feeling that he had never seen on Jongdae before. 

 

He started feeling a bit uncomfortable as Minseok slowly looked up from his mug, his gaze meeting Jongdae’s in a disturbingly blank way, as if he had heard Jongdae’s words only a few seconds after they had been let out to hang in the air surrounding him. A slight frown then pulled his features into a ticked off expression, something that was quite rare, and they stared at each other for a few silent seconds during which Chanyeol felt as if he was intruding on something, the urge to actually leave really strong this time.

 

"What are you trying to say," Minseok asked, words somehow sounding more like a statement than a question, as if had already fully understood the meaning behind Jongdae’s words but simply wanted to intimidate the other, like he always did with everyone else. 

 

"I’m just saying," Jongdae replied, not breaking the eye contact even once and bravely facing Minseok. Had it been anyone else, they would’ve already taken their words back, apologized, and left the room as quickly as possible but Jongdae had always been the most reckless out of all of them and he never backed off in front of anyone, not even Minseok, it seemed. "Decisions taken with your head instead of your emotions aren’t always the rightest ones, are they?" he asked, as if challenging Minseok to say the contrary.

 

"Choosing emotions over logic is stupid," was Minseok’s only reply.

 

Jongdae snorted and Chanyeol saw Minseok’s chest heaving up the slightest, as if he were taking a deep breath to control himself. 

 

"I don’t think you took every fucking decision in your life with your head, you must’ve been swayed by your emotions at one point," Jongdae pushed further, alarmingly brave or just completely suicidal. "If you ever had any, that is."

 

Minseok’s silence felt murderous after that accusation, as if it carried bullets, arrows, sharp blades, and anything that could be as lethal and unstoppable when a target had been localized, and Chanyeol really didn’t understand why Jongdae was doing this when all of them were sensitive after what had happened in the past few days but he didn’t really want to witness this. He already had enough arguments and fights to deal with on his own and he didn’t want to just stay there and watch his friends accuse each other over things that just seemed plainly nonsensical. Why had Jongdae even jumped on this when Minseok had simply accused Chanyeol with something that was completely true? It didn’t have anything to do with him and Chanyeol knew that Jongdae was the kind of friend who would defend those he cared about until the end but he was doing it against _Minseok,_ the man he was supposed to have something going on with. Why did he suddenly turn so hostile when what Minseok had accused Chanyeol with was completely true? 

 

The last thing Chanyeol needed in his life right now was to witness a fight breaking out between his friends because of him and the atmosphere was growing more stifling as the seconds passed, Minseok and Jongdae both remaining silent, seemingly communicating through their eyes even if the only thing Chanyeol could decipher in their gaze was anger and irritation. He didn’t like this at all, he didn’t need this at all either so he brought his cup of coffee up to his lips, downing the few gulps left in it and wincing the slightest at the bitter taste before quietly putting it on the counter. He threw the two others a last confused glance before heading towards the door and slipping out of the kitchen, probably going unnoticed by them. He had no idea whether that small argument would turn into a full fight or something completely different he didn’t even want to think about but he wasn’t in the mood to deal with any of it.

 

He simply went back upstairs to his room, grabbed his jacket, the gun that he knew Junmyeon kept  in the drawer of the bedside table since he didn’t know how safe it would be for him to actually wander outside without any form of protection, and went back down to head out of the house, leaving the odd encounter he had just witnessed behind him to get some fresh air instead, not even glancing back once. The whole ordeal had been odd and he hoped that by the time he’d come back to Junmyeon’s house, Jongdae and Minseok would be calm or even out of the house since even if being between four walls was stifling, Chanyeol had nowhere else to go and he didn’t want to have to deal with a fight between his two friends. Moreover, if he didn’t come back, Junmyeon would probably be upset and might even get actually angry this time so finding somewhere else to stay to escape that suffocating house was out of the question too.

 

Either way, he only needed to be alone for now, he just needed a bit of time to think about everything, about what he had done and what he was going to do from now on. Junmyeon would probably come up with things to do as soon as he’d be back from that meeting, he remembered hearing him say last night that they would all meet again to discuss things in more details in a few days and Chanyeol wasn’t ready to do anything, whether it concerned Baekhyun or not. He had nowhere to go so he simply shoved his hands into his pockets and let his legs take him wherever they wanted to go, barely even seeing his surroundings even if he racked it with his eyes out of habit. He had nowhere to go and nothing to do. Junmyeon would probably not give him any client to take care of for a few days, wanting him to simply rest and take care of the ‘Light issue’ first. Not that he would even have to call it that way anymore, Junmyeon knew Baekhyun’s real name now, he knew everything, everything Baekhyun had ever told him and everything he had ever made him feel too. The thought sent a shiver of discomfort down his spine, as if it had been a wrong idea to spit everything to Junmyeon, every little intimate things Baekhyun had shared with him.

 

However, none of it had probably even been real so there shouldn’t be any problem, he ended up thinking, his mind taking the same course it did whenever Baekhyun came to his mind nowadays. He could still feel the anger simmering in his stomach but it was nothing like what he had felt yesterday in his apartment when confronting Baekhyun. He hadn’t been himself then, he had turned into someone completely different and too many things had been going through his head for him to behave accordingly to the situation. Rage and heartbreak had totally taken control of him and he had been so pathetic, screaming and crying while Baekhyun remained like a stone in front of him, not even trying to defend himself against every accusation Chanyeol had thrown him. The mere memory was enough to make him wince. He supposed Baekhyun had had nothing to defend himself with.

 

None of that was left, though, he only felt betrayed and his chest still hurt a bit, as if the scars Baekhyun had opened up there would never completely heal, pain still forming a spiked cage around his heart, unwilling to set it free. Only shame and heartbreak remained and somehow, that was worse. Chanyeol had told himself to start acting with his head instead of with his emotions and yet, it was difficult to overcome those two strong feelings when they were wrapped around his neck, forming a tightly knotted rope that only kept tightening and cutting his breath off with each step he took.

 

He took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh and cold morning air surrounding him before finally paying attention to his surroundings and the path that he had taken only to stop in his tracks when he realized where exactly he was heading. This path was a familiar one, one that many people hadn’t been walking on for the past few months, even years, and yet, Chanyeol had walked it enough time to be able to recognize it probably even with his eyes closed tightly. The big trees surrounding him and the unattended grass on either side of the path was familiar, the weeds that had grown on the soil underneath Chanyeol’s feet were familiar too, as well as the rusty gates that stood a few feet away from him, as if waiting for him with open arms, waiting to comfort him and listen to each of his worries. He had walked this path a few times before and each time had been filled with excitement and bubbly joy at the thought of who would be waiting for him there but this time, none of it was left in Chanyeol. As he stood in front of the familiar abandoned park, frozen, he simply felt his heart hitting one of the spikes that formed the cage it was locked up in, pain shooting through his whole body as the wind ruffled his hair gently, singing a light tune to his ears as if it could feel his agony and wanted to comfort him.

 

It was almost ridiculous, the way he always, _always_ found himself in a place Baekhyun had introduced him to whenever he let himself get lost in his thoughts and abandoned himself to the direction his unconscious wanted to take him to. He took another deep breath, cold air seeping into his lungs and pulling him out of the torpor he had been shoved into by his unconscious. It would be easy to turn around and go back on his steps to get as far away as possible from the park, it would be so easy and yet after ten full seconds of doing nothing but staring at the open gates, Chanyeol stepped forward, reducing the distance that separated him from the park before walking right into it. 

 

He was hit by a wave of nostalgia and it was ridiculous again because he had been there not long ago, it wasn’t as if long years had passed since his last visit and yet, it somehow felt as if there was a whole lifetime between today and the last time he had been there, with Baekhyun. He looked around, as if rediscovering the place all over again, taking everything in even if he knew the right thing to do would be to leave right away before memories and emotions took control of him again but instead, Chanyeol chose to torture himself all over again and he continued stepping further into the park.

 

However, as soon as he had a plain view of the swing that had lost its twin, he froze, his breath hitching, heart crazily beating against its cage fast enough for Chanyeol to feel a bit of pain in chest. 

 

Fate had never been in favor of Chanyeol, ever since he was a child, it had never made life easy for him, putting him through countless challenges and hurting him over and over again, playing with him, throwing him from side to side like a weak leaf trying its hardest to win against Fall’s cruel wind. Fate had never played in Chanyeol’s favor and the latter knew it but as his gaze landed on the figure occupying the swing a few feet away from him, Chanyeol wondered if all of this was nothing but a joke, if the God that so many people thought was watching over them was actually laughing at him from above, admiring the show crafted for him by Fate’s wicked fingers.

 

As his gaze landed on the lone figure a few feet away from him, Chanyeol felt each emotion he had promised to never feel again suddenly flow through his veins stronger than ever, waves of heartbreak engulfing his weak body, flames of pain biting into his soul, anger piercing through his flesh with its sharp claws, and shame weighing down on his shoulder, pushing him almost with enough force to make him turn around and flee this place right away. He had not expected to see Baekhyun so soon after their last encounter, he hadn’t prepared himself for the overwhelming emotions that the other could still make him feel without even doing it on purpose, without even sparing him a single glance. 

 

He took a deep, shaky breath, not moving a single inch and simply staying put in silence as voices started screaming at him again in his head. He was overwhelmed by all those familiar emotions and yet the strongest of them all was the heartbreak, the missing pieces of his heart were right in front of him, held in Baekhyun’s hands and the latter was not even aware of how much Chanyeol wanted them back. He wasn’t even aware of the fact that Chanyeol was only a few feet away from him, observing him. He looked completely unaware, right there, hands grabbing the two chains that kept the swing hung on the rusty horizontal bar above him, head tilted down, dark strands of hair falling over his eyes as he seemed to look down to his feet, watching as their soles scraped over the ground as he swung himself in a weak and barely visible movement, none of the energy from the last time they had both been there remaining in him. He looked so small, so weak, so fragile from over there and Chanyeol felt pain bleeding from his heart at he watched the other for a few seconds.

 

It was an unexpected sight, not only because Chanyeol hadn’t expected to see Baekhyun at all but because he hadn’t thought about seeing him here out of all the possible places, in the park that they had built memories in, on the swing that he had been sitting on when he had talked to Chanyeol about their childhood. Chanyeol didn’t know if what he had told him that day was real now but it didn’t change the fact that it was unexpected to find Baekhyun there, alone, shoulders hunched and silent as if he was waiting for something to happen, for _someone_ to appear. That wouldn’t make sense, though, Chanyeol thought, almost snorting out loud but unable to do so since he felt choked up by the miserable sight Baekhyun offered to him without having any idea of it. There was no reason for Baekhyun to wait for him, aside from trying to lock him up in his web of lies again and manipulate him into doing things Chanyeol would’ve never done before. 

 

And yet, Baekhyun just looked so sad from over there. Somehow, it felt like Chanyeol was looking at himself and there it was again, that urge to take the other into his arms and protect him from the rest of the world, from anyone who’d want to harm him, like he had done so often in their childhood, like he had promised to do forever. He took a step forward, as if pulled by the effect that Baekhyun always had on him, that enchanting effect that seemed to cloud his mind and sent his heart into a frenzy every time they were close to each other. Baekhyun was so beautiful, even from afar, and that aura of sadness seemed to shimmer around him, pulling Chanyeol in, pushing his body to take a step forward.

 

However, it didn’t make sense. There was no reason for Baekhyun to feel any kind of sadness and especially not because of Chanyeol. He stopped in his tracks, freezing again. Junmyeon’s apologetical face flashed in his mind again and he cursed himself inwardly.

 

What the hell was he doing? What was he really planning to do? Did he really think it would be okay to just step forward, walk to Baekhyun, and take him into his arms? He wasn’t allowed to, he couldn’t, he wasn’t supposed to when Baekhyun had taken Jongin away from him so cruelly without an ounce of hesitation. And Chanyeol was supposed to make him pay for all of it. That was what he had talked about with Junmyeon, that was what they had all talked about last night. They were supposed to get rid of Baekhyun once and for all and Chanyeol was supposed to help them with that.

 

His heart lurched itself into another frenzy and suddenly, the only thing Chanyeol could focus on was the cold seeping into his skin, right on the spot where his gun was resting, tucked against his skin and the waistband of his jeans. It was cold and Chanyeol felt even colder drops of sweat trail down the bumps of his spine at the idea that formed in his head. It would be so easy. It would be so easy to grab the gun, aim, and shoot like he had done so many times in his life. It would be so easy to take Baekhyun’s life just like the latter had taken Jongin’s. It would be so easy to do what he had promised Junmyeon to do. It would be quick, it was the perfect occasion to do it, with Baekhyun right in front of him, unmoving, vulnerable, and unaware of Chanyeol’s presence. It would be so easy to do it now, without involving anyone else.

 

Unconsciously, his hand moved to slip underneath his shirt, fingers coming in contact with the cold surface of the gun. It would be so easy. It would put an end to the agony Chanyeol had been drowning in for the past days. It would put an end to everything. He could go back to the way his life was before Baekhyun invaded it and turned it upside down. He had done it hundreds of times before. Chanyeol only had to grab the gun, aim, and pull the trigger. The rest would follow on its own and he could even turn around and walk away without even waiting for Baekhyun’s lifeless body to meet the ground. He could do it. He should do. It was the right thing to do. It was what he owed to Jongin. It was what Junmyeon would’ve wanted him to do. 

 

However, the mere thought of taking Baekhyun’s life away with his own hands was enough for Chanyeol’s heart to try and escape his own body, beating crazily, dropping to the pit of his stomach where he could feel nausea churning and turning, knots forming in his throat and around his neck, making it difficult to breath and push air into his head. 

 

He couldn’t do it.

 

There was no way for Chanyeol to do it now, when only a few minutes ago, he had felt his whole being appeased at the sight of Baekhyun, at the fact that he was there alive, safe, and breathing. He couldn’t do it when even now, he craved to feel his smaller body incased in his embrace. He couldn’t do it. He would never be able to take Baekhyun’s life away without killing off the pure and yet stupid feelings he nurtured for him. They were too much for Chanyeol to step all over them and do what was right. 

 

As much as he hated it, he couldn’t do it.

 

Shame and humiliation washed over him at once and suddenly, it was too much. He felt the trees closing in on him, the dust in the air seeped into his lungs and suffocated him, the sight of Baekhyun’s frail, hunched over body started giving him a headache, the image knocking against Chanyeol’s temples as if to force him to comprehend it, and the urge to run away creeped into his body, tugging him until he took a step back, and another, and another one before he turned around and headed towards the old gates again, quickly and yet quietly, footsteps muffled.

 

As he ran away for what seemed to be the hundredth time, Chanyeol promised himself that this was the last time. This was the last memory of Baekhyun that he gave himself, this was the last time he would let the other go so easily.   
  
On their next encounter, it wouldn’t happen again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sun had already set hours ago when Chanyeol pushed the door of Junmyeon’s house open again that day after hours spent away from it, his body even more tired than it had been when he had left the house that morning. He hadn’t found it in himself to simply go back to Junmyeon’s house after seeing Baekhyun in that park and not doing anything about it, and since he had nowhere else to go, he simply walked around for most of the day before finding a random bar where he had spent the rest of the evening in. Not that he had even been able to drink more than a single glass of Scotch, but it had still felt nice to simply surround himself with the noise of random people who managed to drown out the thoughts buzzing loudly in his head.

 

It felt nice to finally be back home, though, and he supposed that everyone was already fast asleep, Jongdae and Minseok might’ve gone back to their own places but Junmyeon was probably in his room already and the house was big enough for no one to even hear the door opening but he still closed it slowly, trying not to make too much noise. He then sighed softly, raising one hand to dig fingertips into the skin of his nape, trying to massage the knots away from there without any success. He needed to sleep for more than three hours a night or he was going to go crazier than he already was. 

 

Still as quietly, he headed towards the stairs, planning to walk right into his room and plop down on his bed to never leave it until late in the morning, once his body would be rested and able to fully function again. The entrance hall was dark, the lights were turned off in the whole house and it was difficult to see where he was going but it wasn’t really a bother since Chanyeol knew the place like the back of his own hand. He still walked with cautious step, though, not wanting to bump into something and break things since that would wake whoever was in the house up, something that he wanted to avoid as he was not in the mood to hold a conversation up with anyone.

 

However, before he could even climb up the first step, he heard footsteps approaching him from behind, causing him to turn around sharply, body taking a defensive stance and tensing up until he managed to discern Junmyeon’s features in the dark. The man stood a few steps away from him, arms folded across his chest as if he had been waiting for Chanyeol to come home and was very unhappy about how long it had taken him to walk through the front door. It slightly ticked Chanyeol off, he wasn’t a teenager anymore and he didn’t have a curfew to honor like he used to when he was still a child living in Junmyeon’s house so there was no reason for the elder to wait up for him and look at him with that expression filled with disapproval. However, he supposed that he was in no position to act like a spoiled and annoying child either when Junmyeon probably thought that someone was out there waiting to shoot him as soon as he stepped out of the house so he simply sighed a bit, parting his lips to form an apology and explain his whereabouts to the elder.

 

Before he even had the occasion to utter a single word, Junmyeon’s stern, cold voice cut Chanyeol off, though, and the latter found himself frozen as the accusation in the elder’s voice rendered him as vulnerable as a deer caught in headlights, shoving back the words that he had wanted to form right into his mouth again and choking him up.

 

"Are you planning to betray us all again, Chanyeol?"


	21. Chapter Twenty One

That single sentence was enough to wash over Chanyeol like a bucket of ice cold water, freezing his whole body, his heart the only muscle unable to stay still, beating madly against his ribcage, oddly akin to the rhythm of an urgent alarm screaming at him that danger was near and that he would be swallowed by it if he didn’t do anything to escape it. 

 

"What are you saying, hyung?" Chanyeol asked, even if he had an idea about what Junmyeon was referring to with the mention of the word _betrayal._

 

That was a word that Chanyeol had grown to hate and the mere mention of it was enough to send jolts of pain through his heart, enough to ignite yet another small flame of anger in him, one that threatened to grow into a full, destructive fire at any second. A few months ago, he would’ve never imagined associating himself with that word and yet it had become a constant in his life, a word that always managed to cross his path and prevent him from going forward like an obstacle that he would never be able to get rid of on his own. 

 

It was a word that Chanyeol had managed to associate with the people he trusted the most in his life, first Junmyeon, then Jongin, then Baekhyun, and finally, himself, and Chanyeol at least knew that it had been unfounded for his best friend but otherwise, he felt as if he was locked up in a maze made of betrayal and manipulation and he wasn’t sure whose words he needed to listen to in order to find the exit. At this point, he wasn’t even sure whether there actually was an exit or not.

 

However, he knew that he could always listen to Junmyeon’s words and he should have done it today as well, judging by the way the elder was glaring at him yet again with those dark orbs filled with disappointment and anger. Chanyeol hated it so much.

 

"I made Minseok follow you around today, just to make sure you’d be safe and while I was worrying about your absence all day, guess what I heard from him," Junmyeon said, without hesitating, without concealing that revelation behind pretty words. He didn’t have the will to waste time anymore and Chanyeol knew that only happened when he was utterly disappointed and angry.

 

He couldn’t even feel any kind of anger about Junmyeon making someone tail him all day long without even warning him about it, he should’ve expected it, he should’ve known, he should’ve _felt_ it. Minseok was extremely good at being silent and following a prey without it having any idea about it but he was an _assassin._ He was just as good as Minseok was, it was what he did, he spent his whole life walking while muffling his steps, he spent his days looking ahead of him while listening to what was happening behind him and he hadn’t even sensed that someone had been following him all day long. He didn’t feel disappointment towards Junmyeon or even Minseok, the only cold feeling seeping into his mind and wrapping around his body was shame and maybe a little bit of disappointment as well, but only towards himself. The fact that he had been acting no different than a newbie, than a totally inexperienced assassin these past few weeks, or even months, was utterly shameful and he didn’t even want to find a hole to crawl in to hide for the rest of his life anymore. He just wanted something to shake him up and make him realize how stupid he was being. 

 

"I’m sorry," was the only thing he could reply to Junmyeon, head tilted down, gaze avoiding the elder’s as he knew seeing the way Junmyeon was looking at him would only make him feel even worse. 

 

"I don’t think you realize the gravity of the situation, Chanyeol," Junmyeon said, voice low, dark and oozing with anger, still standing in front of him, shorter than Chanyeol and yet intimidating the latter more than anyone else had ever been able to in his whole life. "Jongin _,_ your best friend, your _brother_ was killed by Baekhyun who manipulated you into betraying all of us and yet, instead of shooting him the first chance you get, you just meet with him and look at him from afar. You could’ve killed him on the spot, you could’ve caught him and brought him to us," Junmyeon continued when Chanyeol remained silent and he wasn’t shouting, his voice was as low and gentle as ever and yet, Chanyeol could discern the cold tone with which those words were pronounced, the low sizzling of anger hidden in them, like a blood-thirsty monster waiting for the right moment to jump on its prey.

 

And Junmyeon was right. He could’ve done that, he could’ve done all of it, he had been trained to do that, to catch, to aim, to shoot, and to kill but somehow, as soon as Baekhyun became the person all his attacks were supposed to be aimed at, Chanyeol lost himself and everything he ever knew about was thrown into a gutter.

 

"I didn’t know he would be there, I didn’t meet him on purpose," he mumbled, still avoiding Junmyeon’s gaze, still too ashamed to even find good enough arguments to defend himself.

 

"That doesn’t matter, Chanyeol," the elder spat out as soon as Chanyeol’s last word left his mouth and there it was, the tone with which he pronounced his name. The same way he used to pronounce Chanyeol’s name when the latter was younger and had no idea how to properly hold a gun and always missed the target no matter how many times Junmyeon showed him how to aim properly. A name filled with disappointment and that made Chanyeol feel as if he was useless and utterly stupid for not understanding something that was supposed to be so easy. "How it happened doesn’t matter, I don’t care about that. I only care about the fact that you betrayed us once and nothing could potentially keep you from doing it again."

 

Each of those words hit Chanyeol like a punch in the guts, strong, painful, and thrown by someone Chanyeol had thought would never hurt him this way. And yet, he deserved each of those words and somehow, it might’ve been better if they were accompanied by a punch. He’d deserve it, he’d take all of it, and maybe he even needed it to realize how fucked up this whole situation was and that he needed to stop doing nothing about it.

 

Junmyeon had never openly said that Chanyeol had betrayed them and hearing it like that, having that spiteful word thrown at him so strongly, Chanyeol finally started realizing that he was being so stupid.

 

"I wouldn’t do it again," Chanyeol said through gritted teeth, shame, anger, and pain attacking him from all sides, choking him, stabbing him, beating him without any ounce of mercy.

 

"I’ve never thought that you’d ever betray us, Chanyeol. In the ten years that we spent together, I’ve never once thought that you’d ever betray us and yet, you did it, without any ounce of hesitation," Junmyeon sliced through Chanyeol with his words, stepping closer to him until Chanyeol had no choice but to look at him. "And I said nothing about it. Absolutely nothing, because you’re young and I appreciate you a lot, things happen sometimes. I could’ve thrown you out, I could’ve gotten you killed for _betraying_ the people who raised you up and causing Jongin’s death. Yet I did none of that."

 

He was right. Junmyeon was completely right and the realization hit Chanyeol more than ever, his words sliding into his head, echoing in his skull, and seeping into his mind in such a way that they were all Chanyeol could hear even if the elder fell silent for a few seconds. He was right. Chanyeol had betrayed them, it was the worst thing you could do to someone in the underground world and he hadn’t just betrayed an ally, a colleague, or a simple friend. He had betrayed his family. And Jongin’s death was its sole consequence. Jongin had died because of him, because Chanyeol had dragged him into the mess that Baekhyun had crafted in his life.

 

It was all his fault and Chanyeol was being so ungrateful when he should thank Junmyeon night and day and apologize for every stupid thing he had done until now. However, words couldn’t seem to fall from his lips, clinging to him, unwilling to be let out. He couldn’t say anything because Junmyeon was right and Chanyeol was just so stupid and ashamed of himself.

 

"You’ve betrayed us," Junmyeon repeated, piercing Chanyeol’s heart with another shard of ice that was concealed by his words. "And yet, instead of doing anything you can to redeem yourself, instead of trying your best to prove us that it would never happen again, you let yourself fall into the same trap again."

 

"I didn’t fall into any trap, I didn’t do anything," Chanyeol suddenly shot up, surprising even himself when he started trying to defend himself, voice urgent because he hadn’t fallen into any trap. Nothing had happened. "I didn’t kill him, you’re right," he said, choking up a little even at the mere mention of doing such a thing to Baekhyun. "But I didn’t talk to him either, I didn’t give him the occasion to manipulate me. I didn’t even get near him!" he explained, hoping that Junmyeon would understand, hoping that he’d forgive Chanyeol because he was the only family he had left and he didn’t want to be thrown out. He didn’t want to be left alone and the despair was getting too much, pulling Chanyeol to step closer to Junmyeon as if the latter would understand him better if he could hear him better. "I didn’t do anything, I swear, I just-"

 

"But it could’ve happened, Chanyeol!" Junmyeon’s harsh, sharp words cut him off and Chanyeol instantly quietened down. Junmyeon never raised his voice at him. Never. Not until today. He was really angry at Chanyeol and the latter couldn’t take it, he had never been actually angry at Chanyeol, never enough to accuse him of something, never enough to snap at him this way by raising his voice. "What if he noticed you? What if he saw you? He would’ve called you to him, he would’ve done something to pull you closer to him and you would’ve obeyed. Why? Because he has a complete grip around you and you’d allow him to do anything to you," Junmyeon spat out, gaze locking into Chanyeol’s, sending off sparks of anger that fueled the fire inside of Chanyeol once again.

 

"But it didn’t happen," Chanyeol mumbled through gritted teeth, hating the way Junmyeon was right. Had Baekhyun noticed him, Chanyeol wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to do anything to run away from him.

 

"I won’t allow it to happen again, Chanyeol," the elder said with a final tone. "I forgived you once, I was kind and understanding but I won’t forgive you if it happens again and that’s why I’m not even going to give it the occasion to happen. You’ve disappointed me greatly."

 

"I’m… I’m really sorry," Chanyeol repeated, pathetic. There was nothing else he could do at the moment when the second word he hated to hear from Junmyeon’s mouth the most was thrown at him too. Disappointment. He never disappointed Junmyeon. Not until today.

 

He hated it and the fire inside of him hated it too, growing bigger in reaction, flames almost powerful enough to consume Chanyeol as a whole. He hated it. He hated the fact that he had allowed this to happen. He hated the fact that he would’ve allowed it to happen again if Baekhyun had even glanced his way in the park earlier today. He hated the way Junmyeon was looking at him, full of disappointment, almost heartbroken. He hated how ungrateful he was being to the man he owed his life to. He hated it. He hated it and he would never allow to happen again. He would do whatever was needed to prevent it from happening again.

 

"When did you turn out this way, Chanyeol?" Junmyeon asked and Chanyeol knew that tone. He didn’t want an answer so he kept quiet, feeling his whole soul unfolding in front of Junmyeon, the latter’s gaze piercing right through his skull and staring right at each nook and corner of his mind. "How did you even let him manipulate you so much? When did a random stranger grow even more important than your family?"

 

It was almost ridiculous, the way Junmyeon seemed to pull these questions directly out of Chanyeol’s mind. He had been asking the same exact thing to himself so many times in the past two days, when did he turn out this way? How could someone like him fall into such a ridiculous trap? It didn’t feel nice at all to hear such things coming from Junmyeon and yet, Chanyeol knew that it had been exactly what he needed. The fact that the elder hadn’t reacted too much when finding out what had happened had been eating his insides, it wasn’t something that he deserved, Chanyeol deserved a bigger reaction and maybe now, it would be easier for him. Maybe that was exactly what he needed to hear. Maybe now he’d be able to get rid of those feelings, they were wrong, completely wrong, and one-sided. 

 

"He’s not more important than my family," he protested, growled, frowned. He hated this.

 

"He is," Junmyeon repeated as if he knew Chanyeol’s mind better than he did. "You’ve gotten angry at me several times because of him."

 

"He’s not more important than you," he repeated, voice trembling. 

 

This was familiar. So familiar to what had happened a few years ago, when Chanyeol had been seventeen and living with Junmyeon for three years already. He had found a friend in the streets, a random boy who had nothing to do with the mafia, or drug dealers, or any kind of gang. Chanyeol had taken a liking to him because of that after meeting him, because he was normal and saw Chanyeol as normal too, not as Kim Junmyeon’s sniper, simply as Chanyeol, a friend he had met on the streets. They spent a lot of time together, Chanyeol would meet with him almost everyday as soon as he was done with his training and Junmyeon noticed it after a while. He still remembered that day, the crestfallen expression on Junmyeon face, the sadness in his voice as he asked if Chanyeol wanted to leave and have a normal, _clean,_ life. He had told Chanyeol that he had taken him in only because he wanted him to be happy, because he had looked so hurt and as if he needed a family and that he had taken care of him all this time and would continue to do it for a long time but if Chanyeol wanted to be happy without them, then he’d allow him to go, even if it would hurt him. He had asked if that boy was better than his family, if Chanyeol was ashamed of his family, if he wanted to leave and never see any of them again.

 

He still remembered, the panic and the pain at the mere prospect of leaving Junmyeon who had given him a life and a family, at the mere thought of never seeing him again, of hurting him for his own selfish happiness. He had chosen to stay with his family, with Junmyeon. He never ever saw that boy again.

 

"Would that make you happy, Chanyeol? Would loving a stranger make you happy?" Junmyeon asked, voice soft, flowing with a sadness that Chanyeol hated as much as the anger that the elder had been throwing at him a few seconds ago. "Would choosing someone else over us make you happy?"

 

"No," he immediately replied, like he had done so many times in the past. It had happened so often, Junmyeon asking him if he would be happy somewhere else, without them, as soon as Chanyeol took a liking to someone that wasn’t part of Venom. "I wouldn’t. I’m happy with you," he shook his head, feeling like a seventeen years old boy all over again. He didn’t want Junmyeon to be sad because of him, not when he had saved Chanyeol and given him a new life.

 

"Do you want a cleaner life? Do you not want to be one us anymore?" Junmyeon asked, looking away from him as if he was scared of hearing the answer, as if he didn’t want to see Chanyeol leaving through the door. "Do you want to leave? If it’ll make you happy, I’ll allow you to do that. Even if it would really hurt me."

 

It was familiar, so familiar. The panic that flowed into his veins, cold and scalding, the fear of hurting Junmyeon who had done so many things for him until now. He shook his head, stepping closer to the elder as if he wanted to reassure him that he was going nowhere, that he was there and would stay there for as long as Junmyeon allowed him to. This had happened so many times in the past, Junmyeon allowing himself to be insecure with no one but Chanyeol, asking him if he wanted to leave because Junmyeon loved him and would do anything for Chanyeol to be happy, even if it meant letting go of him and hurting himself. 

 

He had lived this same exact scene dozens of times in the ten years he had spent with Junmyeon and as always, Chanyeol’s reply slipped from his lips without his having to give it too much thought, as if it was an automatic reaction to the elder’s behavior, as if it was something that he had no control over, as it was something that had been carved into his head a long time ago.

 

"No, I won’t leave you. You’re my family, I can’t leave you or choose anyone else over you. I’m sorry you feel this way, hyung, but that would never happen, you know it," he said, his whole being relaxing when the sadness in Junmyeon’s eyes instantly faded away to leave a bright glint of joy.

 

"Then why, Chanyeol? Why did you betray us like that?" he asked, sighing as if he was tired.

 

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second while shaking his head. He couldn’t look Junmyeon in the eye anymore. He was too ashamed of himself.

 

"It just," he started, opening his eyes again but looking down, away from Junmyeon. "It just felt so real. I just believed in it for so long, in the way he was smiling at me, talking at me, and holding my hand. It just felt so real and it’s so difficult to tell myself that everything had been a lie because it somehow still doesn’t make sense. Even now, it still feels so real. When I saw him today, he just looked so sad," he cut himself off for a second, breathing in air into his lungs, hoping that it would push the prickles of pain in his heart away. "It still feels real and-"

 

"It’s not fucking real, Chanyeol!" Junmyeon cut him off again, startling Chanyeol out of the thoughts that he was voicing out. He finally looked at the elder, surprise taking over for a second at the realization that Junmyeon was losing his cool for the first time ever, the sadness from earlier disappearing completely as he seemed to turn into a different person at once. "All of it was a lie, all of it was planned and built to look real but none of it actually is. He lied to you, manipulated you so well that even now, without even being in contact with you, he can control you. And you’re just stupidly letting him do it."

 

He had heard those words before, it wasn’t the first time and yet, it still hurt as much as the first time Chanyeol realized that everything had been a lie. He could still feel it, the way his heart fell on the floor, breaking into tiny pieces once the only thing that supported it disappeared, once the mirage that kept him alive faded away.

 

Junmyeon was right. He was still so stupidly in love with Baekhyun and he was pathetic and stupid and ashamed of it but he just couldn’t help it. 

 

He could feel it, the fire slowly consuming his soul away, catching in the corner of his mind, turning every inch of his being into dark and indiscernible ashes that could be blown away forever by a single gust of wind. He could feel his eyes prickling a bit, stinging as Junmyeon’s words echoed in his head, desperate to put out the flames with a few weak and pathetic drops. However, those beads of water weren’t made of sadness, they were gathered in Chanyeol’s eyes by anger, at himself, at Baekhyun, and he refused to let them out. He hoped the flames would consume all of him, that seemed to be the only way the feelings for Baekhyun nestled in his heart would die. 

 

Baekhyun only played with him and Chanyeol had been too blind to actually realize it until this exact moment, he had been too lost in his self-pity and his pathetic feelings to actually comprehend it. However, he was done pitying and blaming himself. He was done letting everyone coddle him and treat him like a weak child about to burst into tears at any moment. He had made a mistake and he would suffer its consequences. He would redeem himself and make Baekhyun pay, he would make sure to never see that expression on Junmyeon’s face again. Junmyeon didn’t deserve this, he had always been so kind to Chanyeol and he would make sure to redeem himself.

 

The only problem was that he had no idea how to do it. He didn’t know what to do. Or rather, he knew what he needed to do but he wouldn’t be able to push himself to do it.

 

"I’m really sorry, hyung. I’m just really…" he sighed, running a hand over his face in frustration, trying his best to get a grip of himself. "Lost."

 

He heard Junmyeon sigh but didn’t bother looking at him, scared that seeing his expression would only result in more self-deprecation. However, Junmyeon didn’t seem to share the same thought and before he knew it, he found himself incased in the elder’s arms and he hated it, because Junmyeon had never been overly affectionate and nowadays he was doing it more than ever which only meant that he felt bad for Chanyeol or worse, pitied him.

 

However, he didn’t bother saying anything about it or pulling away because even if he didn’t like the meaning behind this affection, it was still reassuring. Junmyeon wasn’t dropping him, he wasn’t kicking him out of his life, and he wasn’t angry anymore. Chanyeol had already lost a constant in his life, two even, and he couldn’t afford to lose Junmyeon either when he was the only person who had always been in Chanyeol’s life, as far as he remembered at least.

 

"It’s alright, Chanyeol-ah," the elder reassured him in a soft voice and Chanyeol relaxed against him, feeling his fingers gently pressing on his nape, just like he used to do when Chanyeol was younger and would wake up from a nightmare, screaming for someone he didn’t even know.

 

Junmyeon had always been there for him. He knew what the best for him was. He didn’t deserved to be betrayed a second time when he had always done what was the best for Chanyeol. He wouldn’t stray away from the right path anymore.

 

"It’s okay," the elder repeated and Chanyeol felt himself totally calm down, drained and exhausted now that the fire in him was extinguished. "As long as you only trust me, it’ll be okay. You only need to listen to me, I’ll take care of everything. We’ll take care of everything together, alright?"

 

"I won’t betray you again," Chanyeol promised the elder and maybe himself too.

 

"It’s okay, I know. You also know that your feelings won’t cease existing as long as he’s alive, right?" Junmyeon said, voice soft, like a lullaby that soothed Chanyeol’s mind as much as it tore it apart.

 

"Yeah," he forced himself to say because that was the right thing to do and Junmyeon was right, he was always right. "I know."

 

Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to feel alive again as long as Baekhyun was still breathing in the same world as him.

 

"I hope I didn’t upset you by getting angry," Junmyeon said as he pulled away, not stepping away from Chanyeol but simply looking up at him with a light smile instead. "I only want what’s best for you."

 

"I know. I’ll do my best to stop all of this. I’ll do anything," he said, like a mantra. 

 

The answer seemed to satisfy Junmyeon and Chanyeol was glad he didn’t mention anything else about taking Baekhyun’s life away. It was difficult to hear.

 

"Good. I’m proud of you," the elder said, smile widening a bit as he raised a hand to gently cup Chanyeol’s cheek, his skin warm against the younger’s. 

 

This, however, was new and as Chanyeol’s gaze locked into Junmyeon’s, he noted the spark of satisfaction in his dark orbs, something that shined along with a foreign glint that Chanyeol couldn’t exactly put a name on. Junmyeon forgave him and that was all that mattered but oddly, Chanyeol felt as if this was wrong. The way Junmyeon smiled at him was so different than usual, he was standing much closer than usual, and his hand lingered on Chanyeol’s cheek for too long, thumb gently swiping his skin until the taller felt somewhat suffocated. He hadn’t been this close to anyone else but Baekhyun for the past few months and it felt wrong to let someone else seep into his personal space.

 

However, Junmyeon didn’t pull away, simply staring up at Chanyeol with that odd, unfamiliar, and yet soft smile for a few more seconds. He didn’t like this feeling and he pulled his gaze away from the elder’s, confusion and discomfort filling him up, surprising him a bit since he had never felt this way around Junmyeon before. The elder had always been a familiar anchor, something to go back to whenever things weren’t going well, someone that always managed to make Chanyeol feel reassured and at home, and yet, he didn’t like this. He didn’t like the way Baekhyun’s beautiful smile flashed through his mind like an alarm ringing louder with each inch that seemed to gradually disappear between Junmyeon’s face and his own.

 

Suddenly, it was too much and Chanyeol took a deep breath, wrapping his fingers around Junmyeon’s wrist to pull his hand away from his cheek as he took a step back, putting some distance between them. He saw Junmyeon freeze in front of him before looking away and running a hand through his hair, messing his dark locks up. It was easier to breath now and the alarm in his head seemed to fade away.

 

"I’m really tired, I think I need to go to sleep," he said softly, glancing at Junmyeon who nodded in understanding, giving Chanyeol his usual, light smile. As if nothing had just happened, as if Chanyeol had just imagined the elder getting way too close to him. Maybe he had, it wouldn’t be surprising.

 

"Alright, go sleep. You don’t have anything to do tomorrow so just rest as much as you need, no one’s going to disturb you," the elder said and Chanyeol nodded, thankful that he was given a full day of rest.

 

He quietly bid the elder goodnight before finally turning around and climbing up the stairs to head to his room, exhaustion pressing down on his shoulders and slowing his movements down. He was tired and judging by what he had just thought happened, exhaustion was getting into his head and messing with his eyes. There was no reason for Junmyeon to get that close to him and act like that for him. They were brothers, it wouldn’t make sense.

 

A good night’s sleep might not be enough to heal Chanyeol’s soul but it would be enough to give him a bit more strength to start doing the right things instead of uselessly wallowing in self-pity. He wouldn’t let anything get into his mind anymore, he’d do whatever he needed to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next two days were spent, as promised, with nothing to do for Chanyeol and he took the occasion to rest and gather his thoughts for once and for all, rarely even getting out of his room in Junmyeon’s house, the maids even bringing the food up to him instead of calling him to eat downstairs. He was grateful that Junmyeon didn’t force him to get out as long as Chanyeol didn’t feel ready for it himself and he sometimes wondered if he was simply being dramatic and if this shouldn’t even be that big of a deal but then he felt that familiar pain in his chest and he told himself that taking the time to prepare himself would be better than walking into things he wouldn’t be ready to do.

 

No one disturbed him, Jongdae didn’t even send him a single message and in those two days, Chanyeol took the time to gather his thoughts and settle on a single thing instead of having millions of thoughts whizzing through his head without a single second of peace. He was tired of being so passive about everything, he didn’t like his own attitude concerning this whole situation. He wasn’t the kind of man who would lock himself up in his room to deal with heartbreak for a few days and even as he did so, he couldn’t help but feel ashamed of himself. He wasn’t raised to be this way and he hated it. Feeling sad and unhappy about everything wouldn’t help in anything, wallowing in self-pity wouldn’t make it hurt less. The only thing left to do was to get up and face it all, deal with it and do whatever he needed to do. Just like Junmyeon had said.

 

The elder wasn’t even angry at him anymore, they hadn’t really spoken that much in the past two days but he was sometimes the one to bring him food instead of the maids and there was never any trace of anger or disappointment in his features anymore, only his usual smile, the one that made Chanyeol feel comfortable, not the one that had filled him with discomfort at the end of their conversation that night. There was no trace of that odd smile either and Chanyeol reached the conclusion that he had probably only imagined it under the influence of exhaustion and sleeplessness. He didn’t want to even imagine what it could’ve meant so that was the only thing Chanyeol allowed himself to keep running away from.

 

Maybe they had both needed the small argument that had happened that night. Not that it had even been an argument, Junmyeon had simply finally reacted the way he should have and Chanyeol was finally freed from the burden of being treated like a fragile child. He had needed the other to get angry at him and tell him all those things, it had helped him a lot and made him realize his mistakes. He had needed it and he was grateful that Junmyeon had finally snapped at him, if he hadn’t, then Chanyeol would probably still be walking around like a ghost of himself. The elder’s words had been clear, he needed to redeem himself and Chanyeol had fully understood it, there was no trace of confusion left in him after that night. He was going to do it. He knew he could do it. Or at least, he managed to convince himself that he could do it. 

 

That was the only right thing to do anyway and Chanyeol was tired of making countless mistakes.

 

Exactly two days after their conversation, on the morning of the third day, Chanyeol was debating whether to actually get out of his room and stop moping around or not, wondering whether something had happened while he had cut himself off the rest of the world. Had they managed to find Baekhyun? Did they already kill him? Baekhyun hadn’t tried contacting him at all. He wasn’t worried about him, he just hoped that nothing had happened to him. Chanyeol would be the one to make him pay for everything.

 

However, before he even managed to take the decision for himself, someone knocked on his door and he wasn’t surprised to find Junmyeon smiling at him once he granted the person permission to enter. As soon as Chanyeol saw him, something in his stomach churned, something like anxiety, but he ignored it.

 

"Jongdae’s downstairs, we’re discussing what we’re gonna do about Light. Do you think you could join us?" he asked, standing on the doorway, one hand still holding onto the knob as he smiled at Chanyeol. It was worded as an offer but Chanyeol could discern the order behind his words. 

 

Junmyeon had deemed that two days were enough for Chanyeol to prepare himself for what he was supposed to do and the latter still felt that everything was rushed, happening too quickly for him but Junmyeon wanted to get this over with and Chanyeol should too so he simply took a deep breath and nodded. Junmyeon’s smile widened and they both headed downstairs, to the living room. They had already had a discussion about this a few days ago, Junmyeon had gathered everyone and Chanyeol had been there, listening and suffering as they talked about how to get rid of Baekhyun. That day, Chanyeol still had a hard time believing all of this was real but today, he was ready to listen and do whatever he would be told to do. He had prepared himself for it and he was tired of waiting, the sooner they’d get this done with, the sooner Chanyeol’s life could go back to the way it used to be. Or at least, that was what he hoped.

 

"Where’s Minseok?" he asked, plopping down on the couch next to Jongdae who seemed way calmer than he had been the last time Chanyeol had seen him, together with Minseok in the kitchen. They had probably settled their lovers’ quarrel or whatever that had been.

 

"He had a kill scheduled this morning so he won’t be able to be with us here but he already knows what we’re going to talk about anyway," Junmyeon explained as he sat on the armchair across them.

 

He felt Jongdae pat his shoulder a bit in greeting and turned to him, giving him a slight smile as a form of greeting before giving Junmyeon his whole attention again. He was ready to do this.

 

"I guess you already talked about this while I was away?" Chanyeol asked, breaching the subject on his own as he hoped it would end quickly so they could start doing whatever was needed quickly as well.

 

"We did," Junmyeon hummed, slipping into the usual aura that he took in whenever they were talking business. "He hasn’t tried contacting you, has he?"

 

Chanyeol didn’t need a name to know who he was talking about so he simply shook his head. "Not at all."

 

"If he hasn’t tried contacting you until now, then he probably isn’t planning to do it at all," Jongdae said from beside him.

 

"That’s true," Junmyeon nodded. "We haven’t found anything about his location either despite being helped by Cobra and based on what you’ve told me so far, I think he might just be waiting for you to contact him."

 

"He did say that he’d wait for me to call," Chanyeol mumbled, doing his best not to remember Baekhyun’s expression as he had pronounced that last sentence before leaving his apartment.

 

"We’ve decided that the best way to find him would be to lure him in through you," Junmyeon finally said and Chanyeol had expected to hear this but it didn’t prevent him from sighing a bit.

 

"Would that work, though? Light seems pretty bright, he might not fall for a trap," Jongdae said, amused by his own pun judging by his tone. Chanyeol simply sighed again and Junmyeon frowned.

 

"He’s a manipulative bastard, he probably will simply think that Chanyeol’s still falling for his tricks and try to fool him again," Junmyeon snorted, as if grossed out by that idea.

 

"Right. Everyone is bound to make a fatal mistake at one point and underestimating Chanyeol might be Light’s only mistake," Jongdae hummed.

 

"I’ll do that," Chanyeol finally spoke again. "What do I have to do? Just call him and ask him to meet somewhere?"

 

"Yeah, you’re going to act as if you just want to talk with him one last time and ask him to meet somewhere. We’ll already be waiting there and as soon as we catch him, we’ll end him."

 

It sounded so easy as Junmyeon said it this way, as if he thought it would be completely easy for Chanyeol to call Baekhyun, hear his voice, imagine his expression with each word he’d pronounce, and ask him to meet. As if it would be easy for Chanyeol to see Baekhyun again, to catch small whiffs of his familiar scent, and to look into his eyes without feeling every ounce of his being melt in front of him. As if it would be easy for Chanyeol to use Baekhyun like that and take his life away.

 

However, hadn’t Baekhyun been using him this whole time? He had. And Chanyeol was still hesitating in doing the same thing to him. The familiar heat of anger crawled into his guts and he curled his hands into tight fists, digging his nails into the the tender flesh of his palms, the slight jolt of pain helping him get a grip of himself back. He gathered up all that anger, leaning on it, clinging onto it to keep going.

 

"Is that okay with you?" Junmyeon asked, lowly, as if he feared Chanyeol’s answer, pulling the latter out of his thoughts.

 

Was that okay with Chanyeol? Not really,  it would never be but he’d still do it. He had to do it.

 

"Yeah, I’ll do it," he promised, pouring as much determination into his voice as possible even if he only felt a quarter of it.

 

"Where would they meet, though? It can’t be one of our or Cobra’s warehouses, it would be too obvious," Jongdae commented.

 

Junmyeon hummed a bit at that, falling silent as he probably mentally checked every place they could possibly use as a trap for Baekhyun. Only one place came to Chanyeol’s mind.

 

"There’s this warehouse we used to meet in sometimes," he said, avoiding the others’ gaze as he forced those words out of his mouth. "It’s in the outskirts of the city, he might come there."

 

It was the warehouse they had met in that first night, months ago, the first time Chanyeol had realized how big of an effect Baekhyun had on him. It was there that Chanyeol had first realized that whatever happened, he would never be able to win over Baekhyun. It was there that Chanyeol had first gotten his heart broken at the sight of Baekhyun in the arms of another man. It was the place they used to live in together, when they were stubbornly trying to survive through the harsh winters and their cruel fate. It was the place Chanyeol wanted to leave everything in, each memory,  every feeling carried in his heart, and Baekhyun’s last breath.

 

"Alright then, let’s use that place," Junmyeon smiled, probably satisfied that Chanyeol was even willing to help them prepare the plan. "There shouldn’t be too many people there, he might check everything before coming and if he realizes what we’re planning, then it would be even more difficult to get a grip of him once he flees again. Chanyeol, Minseok, and I should be there while you stay here to keep watch over the house, Jongdae. He might also use that opportunity to set us a trap instead," Junmyeon gave the directives easily, as he had always done in the past.

 

Chanyeol was used to listening to the elder’s directives and applying them, he was used to getting orders and even participating in giving the orders sometimes but now, Chanyeol felt as if the situation wasn’t at his hands at all. It almost felt as if he wasn’t even in his own body, as if he was a mere witness standing near the window and watching everything unfolding in front of him, quickly, in a rush. He didn’t like it, he wasn’t used not to have things in his hands but would he even be able to do anything had Junmyeon given him full control of the situation? He knew he would’ve messed everything up and this was for the best, he only needed to do as Junmyeon said and everything would be okay.

 

"Are you going to be the one to kill him, Chanyeol?"

 

The sudden question once again snapped him out of his trail of thoughts and Chanyeol looked at Junmyeon, their gaze meeting for a second. There was nothing but authority and trust in Junmyeon’s gaze, as if he already knew the answer to his own question but had asked simply to hear it from Chanyeol’s own mouth again. 

 

Chanyeol knew the only answer he was supposed to give and maybe saying it out loud would help him make it real.

 

"I will," he said, voice low, carrying notes of anger that sizzled in the air. "I want to make him pay for everything myself."

 

"Great. I think we’ll all be ready for tonight then," Junmyeon said, lips curling into his usual calm smile again.

 

"Tonight?" Chanyeol asked, heart lurching in his chest.

 

"Tonight," the elder repeated. "The sooner we’ll do it, the better it will be for all of us. You’ll ask him to meet you at 8PM."

 

Tonight. 8PM. It was only nine hours away. Chanyeol had nine hours to prepare himself for what he was supposed to do. He could feel his chest tightening at the thought, anxiety snaking around his neck, clinging onto his skin and squeezing tightly, enough to almost leave him lightheaded from the lack of air. He had nine hours to prepare himself for it. Everything would end tonight. Baekhyun wouldn’t be such a big part of his life anymore after tonight. Tomorrow, Chanyeol would wake up as a free man, not a prisoner of his own feelings. Baekhyun wouldn’t cage him in his beautifully crafted lies anymore. That was what he wanted, even if he could feel his heart beating madly against his ribcage in protest. That was what he had to do. 

 

"Well," Jongdae sighed from next to him, glancing at his watch with a slight frown. "If everything’s settled, I’m gonna leave now. Got fingers to cut in half an hour, can’t be late," he explained, offering the two others one of his twisted, wide grins.

 

"You can go," Junmyeon snorted with exasperation, shaking his head a bit. "Be here at 6PM. Don’t be late or I’ll make sure you won’t be able to cut anyone’s fingers ever again."

 

"I won’t let you miss me too much, boss," Jongdae laughed, words loud as he stood up and gave the two of them a little wave before heading towards the door.

 

Silence settled over the room once Jongdae left him alone with Junmyeon and Chanyeol took a deep breath in to calm himself down. Not that he needed to be calm about all of this, in those two past days, he managed to understand that the angrier he felt, the better he would work to get himself out of this situation. Nothing was left, only anger and that had always been something that drove Chanyeol to do his best, the fuel to the fire that had been burning deep inside of him for a while now.

 

He felt Junmyeon’s gaze on him, intent, serious, almost as heated as the flames that had managed to consume most of his soul away. He locked eyes with the elder and a shiver of discomfort once again trailed down Chanyeol’s spine. Somehow, Junmyeon was acting different nowadays and Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether he was simply imagining things or merely being dramatic about it anymore, but he didn’t like it. Maybe he was once again imagining things, Junmyeon was bound to act differently with him after what Chanyeol had put him through and it was Chanyeol’s duty to make sure everything would go back to the way it was before. The only way to do that was to erase every mistake he had done.

 

"I’m really glad you managed to make up your mind, Chanyeol," Junmyeon finally said, gaze still on him and voice gentle.

 

"It took me a while," Chanyeol snorted, shaking his head at himself.

 

"How long it takes doesn’t matter. Only the result does," the elder smiled a bit as he said those familiar words. 

 

"I’ll make sure that the result will end up being as we planned," Chanyeol promised Junmyeon and convinced himself.

 

"You should call him now."

 

His breath hitched at those words and he looked at the elder in surprise for no more than two silent seconds before getting a grip of himself back.

 

"Now?"

 

"Yeah," Junmyeon shrugged, still observing him. "The sooner you’ll do it, the better it will be."

 

That was true, Chanyeol wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible but right now, hearing Baekhyun’s voice seemed like such a huge thing, something that he might not be able to take very well. He hadn’t heard his voice in three days, each of those oddly feeling like three different lifetimes, and right now, Chanyeol was set on his one and only aim, making Baekhyun pay and doing as Junmyeon made him promise to do but he wasn’t sure his resolve wouldn’t crumble as soon as he’d even hear the sound of Baekhyun’s breath through the phone. At the mere mention of being in contact with the other, he could feel his heart rejoicing, jumping high and low in his chest only to crash down again when it remembered the cuts and the cracks Baekhyun had carved in it himself. 

 

However, he was supposed to see baekhyun tonight, in a few hours. He was supposed to lure him in and walk him right into Junmyeon’s trap before getting rid of him once and for all, making him pay for what he had done to Jongin and so many other people, Chanyeol himself included. He had decided to stop being miserable and the angry side of him was screaming at him to do as said and play with Baekhyun the same way the latter had done with him but the calmer, pained side of him whispered to him that it was too early, that he was still too hurt, and that he couldn’t do it.

 

Chanyeol was tired of not being able to take the right decisions and he took a single second to let the anger devour the hesitation before nodding to Junmyeon and moving to stand up.

 

"Call him here," Junmyeon’s sudden instruction stopped him and he looked at the other in confusion.

 

"Why?" he couldn’t help but ask, only to regret it as soon as Junmyeon’s features twisted into a displeased expression. He hated being questioned.

 

"It would be safer for you not to talk to him alone," was the only explanation the elder gave him and Chanyeol managed to discern the hidden meaning behind his words.

 

Junmyeon didn’t trust him enough to let him talk to Baekhyun alone. He wasn’t even angry about it, Chanyeol didn’t trust himself for that either. Even if the idea of letting a third person breach their intimate conversations wasn’t all that nice, Chanyeol knew that it would be for the best. Nothing said between them had ever been real anyway. If this would help Junmyeon trust him again then so be it, he’d do this too.

 

He sat back down, retrieving his phone from the pocket of his jeans and glancing at Junmyeon with something akin to nervousness as he looked for Baekhyun’s name in his contacts.

 

"I’m not sure he’s going to pick up," he warned Junmyeon since he really wasn’t sure Baekhyun was still willing to talk to him or if he’d deem it useless now that Chanyeol had seen through his lies. Maybe he had already moved on, maybe he had already given up. What if he had already gone back abroad? Maybe he was already happy with that man he had seen in the warehouse, maybe they were laughing about Chanyeol’s stupidity together. 

 

"We’ll see that together, it’s okay," Junmyeon shrugged, gaze still intent on him.

 

Chanyeol started feeling suffocated by it so he looked down at his phone instead, thumb hovering over Baekhyun’s name on the screen. He hadn’t called him in so long and he wasn’t ready to do it yet. Something in him told him not to do it, that it would worsen everything, that he should’ve taken care of it that day at the park, when Baekhyun had been unaware of his presence and wouldn’t have been able to escape Chanyeol’s bullet. However, Junmyeon wasn’t looking away from him and he was patiently waiting for Chanyeol to do as said so the latter took a deep breath before pressing on Baekhyun’s name to call him, nail scrapping against the screen with the unconscious violence of the movement.

 

He brought the device to his ear and waited, focusing on the regular beep coming from the other line as no one picked up yet, his heartbeat worryingly faster than monotonous ringing. He could feel Junmyeon’s gaze still on him, patient, cold, unmoving, just like its owner was. Chanyeol glanced at him, feeling suffocated by the tension that the elder seemed to be immune against. The beep against his ear was regular, unlike his heartbeat. What if Baekhyun never picked up? He glanced back down at his hand, fleeing Junmyeon’s gaze, biting hard on his lower lip to keep a grip of himself. He could do this. What if the guy who helped Baekhyun all this time picked up instead of him? What if they were together right at this moment, what if Baekhyun had lied to him about their relationship too? Chanyeol could do this, he would do it. He would prove Junmyeon that he could do it. What if Baekhyun didn’t pick up, though? Then they would have no way to do anything. What if he picked up but said something bad? What if he acted as if he had never even known Chanyeol? What if he said something that would break his heart even more? What if he-

 

_"Chanyeol?"_

 

All of a sudden, everything stopped around Chanyeol. His heartbeat, his breath, the flow the poisoned blood in his veins, the merciless attacks of the flames in his stomach, and the millions of thoughts colliding into each other in his head. Everything stopped and for a second, all Chanyeol could do was freeze and listen to the echo of Baekhyun’s voice in his head. A voice that he had loved, a voice that he had cherished, a voice that had fooled him, a voice that he _still_ loved. A voice that pronounced Chanyeol’s name with a wave of hope and surprise that crashed against his body, washing over the tension in his, taming the fire in him, and healing the bruises in his heart the slightest. 

 

Even now, Baekhyun’s voice alone was enough to stop each and every storm Chanyeol found himself swirling in.

 

Junmyeon moved a bit in his seat, the fabric of his slack pants brushing over the couch and producing the faintest sound that snapped Chanyeol back into reality. He forced himself to fuel the fire in him again, trying his hardest to soak it all up so the flames would reign over his mind instead.

 

"It’s me," was all he could say and it was so stupid, so pathetic, but Chanyeol’s voice trembled a bit, _a lot,_ more than expected and he hated it.

 

Baekhyun had picked up. He ignored the way it produced bubbles of joy in his chest, bursting all of them one by one with the claws of his anger. He had to focus on the pain and the betrayal. He had to, even if with each bubble that popped and never reappeared again, Chanyeol felt as if a part of his soul was taken away as well.

 

Silence settled between them and it had never happened before, Baekhyun could rarely stop chattering Chanyeol’s ears off but now, none of them found anything to say and they both awkwardly waited for something to be said. Chanyeol did his best not to look at Junmyeon.

 

"How are you?" he finally asked because he had to act like he always did, he had to sound casual in order not to give anything away. Or maybe he just craved hearing Baekhyun’s voice again. It was like a drug after all, once Chanyeol got a glimpse of anything related to Baekhyun, he never could stop himself from wanting more.

 

However, it was different this time. Junmyeon was there to make sure he didn’t throw himself into a venomous mirage again.

 

 _"I didn’t expect you to call me,"_ Baekhyun replied, voice low, almost like a whisper of disbelief. He sounded odd, his words felt like a mix of sorrow and bittersweetness. Chanyeol felt the last shards of his heart digging into his insides. Why didn’t Baekhyun sound happy? Why wasn’t he making fun of Chanyeol? Why wasn’t he laughing at his face and mocking him for being pathetic enough to call him again?

 

Because that wasn’t how Baekhyun worked, he made Chanyeol feel special and used him without the latter even sensing it. He was still doing the same. It wasn’t real. Those were all fabricated emotions.

 

He took a deep, shaky breath. "I didn’t expect you to pick up," were Chanyeol’s flat words. He had genuinely not expected Baekhyun to pick up but he couldn’t let the other know about his feelings. He shouldn’t.

 

_"I’ll always pick up whenever you call me, Chanyeol-ah."_

 

And it was unfair. It really was _so_ unfair, the way Baekhyun could sound sad so effortlessly, the way Chanyeol’s heart still had pieces to be shattered by the sorrowful flow of Baekhyun’s voice, the salted water washing over the shore of Chanyeol’s heart and taking away those tiny pieces, letting them sink deep into a place they’d never be able to come out of again. It was so unfair, the way Chanyeol still felt like driving to the other end of the world just to take Baekhyun’s frail body into his arms and squeeze tight enough until all his sadness was absorbed into Chanyeol’s body instead and only happiness remained in him. It was so unfair, the way his insides warmed up at the sole use of the nickname that brought back memories that Chanyeol’s wasn’t even sure were real anymore. It was so damn unfair, the fact that Chanyeol was still so stupidly in love with Baekhyun, the fact that the flames of his anger hadn’t been able to consume his feelings even the slightest.

 

He hated it. He hated it and he would get rid of it. He hated it so much and he hoped his feelings would die along with Baekhyun, by Chanyeol’s own hands.

 

And yet, his body didn’t seem to think so.

 

"Why?" he heard and it took him a few seconds to realize that it was uttered by himself.

 

He glanced at Junmyeon, noting the way he was drumming his fingers on the armrest of his seat. Impatient, slightly irritated.

 

 _"I miss you, Chanyeol-ah,"_ Baekhyun whispered into his ear, like a confession, a secret, a weakness, and like a bruise that kept stinging in his heart, unhealed. _"We haven’t spent so much time apart in a long while."_

 

He felt each of Baekhyun’s words weighing down on his shoulders, braiding into a tight and thick rope that wrapped around his neck and squeezed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Chanyeol was supposed to be ready. He wasn’t supposed to fall for the other’s tricks again.

 

"You always disappear for the same amount of days. We’ve spent longer apart," he replied, a bit relieved when his voice didn’t shake like a leaf about to get consumed by angry flames. "There isn’t really anything different," he lied to both himself and Baekhyun.

 

 _"Yeah,"_ Baekhyun sighed, sending small grizzles against Chanyeol’s ear as he breathed right into the receiver. _"You’re right but this feels really different. This feels like when you didn’t remember me and we weren't together. This feels like when I thought you were…"_ Baekhyun trailed off as if he couldn’t even manage to find the strength to finish his sentence. He didn’t need to. Chanyeol understood him.

 

He heard Junmyeon sigh a bit in front of him and the Chanyeol finally glanced at him, he could see the impatience in his features, the irritated furrow of his eyebrows, and the glint of anger in his eyes. He probably could hear everything, he was close enough to hear it even if Baekhyun wasn’t on speaker since it was completely silent around them. He probably could catch glimpses of sentences and he didn’t like what he could hear.

 

What was Chanyeol even doing? This wasn’t supposed to be a conversation about their relationship, Chanyeol wasn’t supposed to silently listen to Baekhyun’s voice. He was supposed to lure him in like Baekhyun had done, he was supposed to set up a trap like Baekhyun had done to him, he was supposed to kill Baekhyun like the latter had killed a part of him off forever.

 

"Do you want to meet?" he blurted out, finally asking the question he was supposed to ask.

 

Baekhyun remained silent for a few seconds. _"You want to see me?"_ he then asked, voice gentler than earlier, softer, lighter, and incredibly brighter. As if Chanyeol was granting one of his biggest wishes and he couldn’t believe it.

 

It was fake. All of it was fake. He needed to keep that in mind. Baekhyun was really good at faking emotions. He was trying to lure Chanyeol in again.

 

"Tonight, at 8PM. Our warehouse," he simply said, not trusting himself to form complete sentences when he was already choking up with pain.

 

 _"Alright,"_ Baekhyun accepted before Chanyeol could even completely form his last word. Fake. It was fake. _"I’ll be there."_

 

"I want to listen to your side of the story," he explained, wanting it to sound as honest as possible.

 

 _"Of course,"_ Baekhyun breathed out, as if it had been his first intake of air in days. _"I’ll tell you everything."_

 

Chanyeol simply nodded, conscious of the fact that Baekhyun couldn’t see him but if he parted his lips again, he was scared of what he’d say, of what he’d let go of, a sob, laughter, or a plead. He didn’t want to find out.

 

 _"See you tonight,"_ Baekhyun said after five long seconds of silence. _"Thank you, Chanyeol-ah."_

 

As soon as the familiar affection in Chanyeol’s name was muttered against his ear, the latter pulled the phone away from his skin as if he was burned and put an end to the call with shaky fingers. 

 

He took a deep breath in, calming himself down, or at least trying to do so. 

 

He had done it. He had managed to convince Baekhyun to meet him. It had bee so easy, as if that was all that other had been waiting for until now. It felt so wrong. It had been so easy. Had it been so easy for Baekhyun to manipulate Chanyeol too?

 

He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. He couldn’t breath properly. He looked up, gaze locking into Junmyeon’s dark one.

 

"You did great. I’ll take care of everything else," the elder smiled, calm, gentle, satisfied. "I’m proud of you."

 

That was what Chanyeol had wanted to hear and yet, at this exact moment, he wished someone had ripped his ears off a long time ago. Maybe along with his heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hours seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye, the whole day spent in a blur, and before Chanyeol even knew it, he found himself standing in the place that he had promised himself to never step into again only a few days ago. He couldn’t really blame anyone, though, he had offered Junmyeon to set the whole trap up in this place instead of anywhere else and a few hours ago, it had seemed like a good idea, he thought that he would be able to bury everything in this warehouse and yet, as he stood in the entrance of it, the door closed behind him, Chanyeol found it difficult to even breath.

 

It was difficult to tell himself that he was to take Baekhyun’s life away in the place they’d been living together in more than ten years ago, the place they had a lot of memories in even if Chanyeol remembered few of them, and the place they had created new memories in, both bad and good ones. Not that they were good in his eyes anymore, Chanyeol wished to get rid of each and every one of them and he would do it tonight. He had gotten ready for it, they had talked about this over and over again the whole day as Junmyeon got everything ready and Chanyeol had arrived half an hour ago, waiting for Baekhyun to make an appearance ever since. He tried his best to focus on the fact that Minseok was right outside the warehouse, hidden amongst the shadows and waiting like a predator ready to jump on anyone who looked even mildly threatening. As planned, he would wait outside in case Baekhyun turned this to his own advantage and tried ambushing them instead, Chanyeol would meet him inside and distract him while Junmyeon would be watching them from amongst the metallic shelves all around the wide room, waiting for the right moment to render Baekhyun motionless.

 

Because Junmyeon still didn’t trust him enough to let him take care of everything on his own.

 

He had prepared himself for this, he knew what he was supposed to do and he would do it. For Jongin, for Junmyeon, and for himself. He would do it even if his heartbeat was faster than ever, as if the weak muscle was trying to push him to run away from here and never come back. He would do it even if everything in his head screamed at him that this was both the worst idea he had ever had and the best way to redeem himself in Junmyeon’s eyes. He would do it even if he could barely even breath. He would do it even if his whole body tensed up and the urge to run away pierced his soul like a millions of needles as soon as he heard the door opening with a pained, loud, and rusty groan.

 

"Chanyeol?"

 

A shiver instantly washed over his whole body and he should’ve prepared himself for it because he had heard Baekhyun’s voice through the phone but this was so different, this just made everything so real and the realization was almost enough for Chanyeol to run through the door and leave everything behind. However, Junmyeon was probably watching him, he could feel the elder’s gaze on him even if he didn’t know where he was exactly and Chanyeol ignored everything, the fire in his chest, the bursted bubbles in his stomach, and the pain to turn around and face his heartbreak instead.

 

As soon as he turned around, he felt a smaller body throw itself against him and arms wrapped around his shoulders, a head resting on the crook of his neck. Baekhyun’s hold on him was tight, tighter than ever, but it wasn’t what was suffocating him. He had a hard time breathing but that didn’t seem to be the case for Baekhyun and Chanyeol felt him take a deep breath, as if he was inhaling Chanyeol’s whole existence at once and the nausea was growing harsher, impossible for Chanyeol not to notice it.

 

This was wrong. This felt so wrong. He looked down at Baekhyun just in time to meet his gaze as the other looked up and all at once, Chanyeol felt the stars in Baekhyun’s eyes shine a bright light into his life. It had blinded him before though, so Chanyeol immediately looked away, stiff against Baekhyun, wanting to run away but choosing to focus on the pain and the anger. He had to do this. He had to. Junmyeon was watching. For Jongin, for Junmyeon, for himself, he repeated in his head like a mantra.

 

"I’m so glad you decided to listen to me one last time," Baekhyun said softly, almost hesitantly, and yet so brightly. He was blinding and so beautiful. 

 

He hadn’t changed at all, he still looked at Chanyeol the same way, he still smiled so widely, and he still leaned his whole weight on Chanyeol when hugging him, as if he knew Chanyeol would support all of him and never let him fall. However, Chanyeol was there to make him trip and fall hard enough to never be able to stand up again. Therefore, he ignored every whisper in his head and every feeling his heart pumped into his veins with each violent beat and tugged on his arms to wrap them around Baekhyun instead, returning his hug. He saw the latter’s smile brightening before he buried his face into Chanyeol’s chest, tightening his hold on the taller who discreetly moved, turning them over until Baekhyun was facing the door instead of looking into the whole room. Chanyeol saw a shadow move between the metallic shelves before he gave his whole attention to Baekhyun who pulled away from him, as if he was finally able to get a grip of himself. He didn’t actually pull completely away though, one of his hands still gripping Chanyeol’s arm, as if he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t go anywhere.

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath and tried calming himself down. "I thought this was the right thing to do," he finally replied even if he wasn’t sure what he was actually referring to.

 

Baekhyun smiled at him and it had only been a few days but Chanyeol felt as if it had been years since he had last seen him. He looked so different from that day he watched him from afar in the park, he had looked so sad back then but now, he looked relieved, bright, and happy, even if the dark bags under his eyes were prominent and he looked pale under the faint and flickering lights of the warehouse. He was still so beautiful, a perfect mirage that Chanyeol had to get rid of forever.

 

His heart lurched in his chest when Baekhyun spoke again and it hurt so much but he took his hand, intertwining their fingers so Baekhyun would look at him and nothing else, so that he wouldn’t notice the shadow that was slowly creeping towards him from behind. He was so glad, at that moment, that Junmyeon hadn’t allowed him to do all of this on his own because even now, he had to bite down on his tongue hard to keep himself from telling Baekhyun to run away and maybe do it while still holding onto Chanyeol’s hand.

 

"It is," Baekhyun said and he never looked away from Chanyeol, as if he had missed him dearly or maybe just because this was how he proceeded when manipulating people, giving them his whole attention so they’d feel special and forget to look at anything else. "That day in your apartment, I was really confused and I didn’t immediately understand what happened but believe me, I can explain everything to you," Baekhyun said quickly, rushing the words out of his mouth as if he wanted Chanyeol to believe him as soon as possible.

 

"I’m listening," was the only thing he could say, forcing himself not to look behind Baekhyun.

 

The latter looked at him with a small furrow of his eyebrows, as if he was starting to find Chanyeol’s behavior weird and panic started screaming harder in the latter’s head so he forced his lips into a tiny smile. It would end soon. He had to do this.

 

"I’m really sorry for what happened, for Jongin and for everything else, I never thought you’d think of me that way but believe me you got it all wrong," Baekhyun started, rushing, gripping Chanyeol’s  arm harder, sinking his nails into his skin and his claws into his heart. "But I promise I’ll explain everything if you just listen to me without interrupting and if we could just go somewhere else."

 

 _Don’t look over his shoulder,_ Chanyeol reminded himself, repeating the sentence over and over again in his head. Cold shivers traveled through his whole body, everything was happening too quickly and he hated it but he had to do it.

 

"Why?" he forced himself to ask, unconsciously tightening his grip on Baekhyun’s hand.

 

 _Don’t look into his eyes,_ he reminded himself. He would get lost, he would lose again. He would disappoint Junmyeon and fall into his trap again.

 

His heart started beating faster, hitting Chanyeol’s ribs like a furious animal trying to escape his cage. He ignored it. He ignored everything. 

 

"Because this is not safe, Chanyeol. We’re not safe, what if we get caught?" Baekhyun replied, probably caring about himself more than about Chanyeol. _Don’t look into his eyes._ "We can leave together, we can run away together and never come back here and I’ll explain everything to you." _Don’t listen to his words._ "I won’t let Junmyeon do anything to you, I’ll protect you, we’ll hide together and we’ll be safe and far away from all of this." _Don’t believe him. Don’t forget Junmyeon. Don’t fall into the trap. Don’t look over his shoulder._ "I can get everything ready whenever you want, we’ll be together and I’ll-"

 

Suddenly, a loud thump cut Baekhyun’s voice off, overpowering his last word and Chanyeol squeezed his eyes shut as soon as he felt the fingers between his going limp and slowly slipping away, another muffled yet loud sound reaching his ears. It echoed in his head, flashing in his mind along with Baekhyun’s expression before he was cut off. 

 

It was done. It had worked.

 

Heart dropping into his stomach and breathless, Chanyeol snapped his eyes open again, looking down to the floor and punched in the guts by the sight of Baekhyun’s limp body at his feet, eyes closed, unconscious. He felt nausea churning in his stomach, pain biting into his soul at the realization that this was _real._ He had half expected this whole trap to be a failure and yet it had worked, he had managed to get Baekhyun at his mercy.

 

_Everyone is bound to make a fatal mistake at one point._

 

He remembered the words uttered by Jongdae only that morning and he hadn’t expected him to turn out to be right but the result was there, Baekhyun had finally made a fatal mistake. He had given Chanyeol his whole attention and forgot to look around him. Chanyeol had made the same fatal mistake that destroyed his whole life but the roles had been reversed at that time. 

 

Was that how Baekhyun had felt when leading Chanyeol towards that mistake? Empty? Regretful? Hurt? Probably not.

 

"You did great, Chanyeol-ah. I’m proud of you."

 

He took a few seconds to actually register the voice that echoed a bit in the wide and half empty room, looking up blankly and slowly away from Baekhyun’s unconscious body to finally look at Junmyeon who stood right beside Baekhyun, a long, metal bar in his hands and a victorious and dark smile on his lips.

 

He looked proud of Chanyeol, satisfied, and maybe a bit relieved. Chanyeol felt sick and he made sure not to look away from him, not to look down on the floor.

 

"It’s not the end yet," he said, voice incredibly quiet. He didn’t trust himself to speak with a loud and clear voice.

 

"You’re right, we shouldn’t wait too much to end it," Junmyeon nodded, his smile giving Chanyeol chills for the first time in ten years.

 

He shook his head. He couldn’t breath. He cleared his throat as if that would untie the knot wounded around his neck but it was useless, panic’s fingers were holding onto it tightly, making sure that it wouldn’t loosen. He couldn’t do it. He had to do it. He felt stifled, a hand raising up to tug the collar of his shirt down. It was useless. Junmyeon’s eyes were as cold as Chanyeol’s panic.

 

"I can’t," he breathed out, wheezed, pressured by the elder’s expectations. 

 

"What do you mean you can’t?" Junmyeon’s voice sliced through Chanyeol’s hazy mind and he took a deep breath, looking away from him and glancing at Baekhyun’s body. A mistake. Why had Baekhyun fallen into this trap so easily? Why? Why didn’t he look around? 

 

He glanced back at Junmyeon, feeling his scalding hot glare on his face. Junmyeon had already been a bit irritated when Chanyeol had told him that it would be better to render Baekhyun unconscious before doing anything to him. He had thought it would be a waste of time, that Chanyeol should simply shoot him with his sniper riffle or even with a gun from a closer distance, or even just stab him while watching the life in his eyes vanish into shadows. However, Chanyeol knew that he couldn’t have done that. He had asked, almost pleaded for more time and Junmyeon had agreed despite himself, clearly irritated but unable to push Chanyeol further. Now, he was even more irritated.

 

"I need a bit more time," he asked again, pleaded again and he watched as Junmyeon closed his eyes for a second as if to gather up every ounce of his patience. 

 

He was pathetic but this felt like a mistake and he needed a few more minutes to convince himself that it was the right thing to do. He had started it, he had to finish it. It was the right thing to do. _Focus on the anger, focus on the pain, focus on the revenge_ , he told himself, repeating it in his head like a mantra.

 

"Fine," Junmyeon finally said, voice as cold as the air circulating around them. "Time doesn’t matter as long as the result is there."

 

Chanyeol relaxed the slightest and kept repeating the same words in his head for the next few minutes that passed in a blur and he took a few more seconds to process Junmyeon’s next orders, his stomach churning as he did as told. He crouched down, in a blur, gathering Baekhyun’s unconscious body into his arms and following Junmyeon between the different high shelves and piles of boxes scattered around the warehouse. He couldn’t even hear the sound of his own footsteps even if he knew it echoed a bit in the mostly empty room, too focused on watching Baekhyun’s features, his grip on his shoulder and thighs tight enough for Chanyeol’s knuckles to fade into white. He looked so peaceful, unconscious in Chanyeol’s arms, he looked so relaxed and tired, skin pale, cheekbones protruding more than usual. He had lost weight since the last time Chanyeol had seen him from up close. He was beautiful and still looked like the lethal mirage that he was. And Chanyeol was a few minutes away from erasing the mirage forever.

 

He shook his head a bit, getting a grip of himself back, taking deep breaths and focusing back on what he was supposed to do. He had to.

 

Junmyeon spoke again and Chanyeol barely heard him but it didn't matter because he knew what he was supposed to do at the sight of the fragile looking chair and the rope at its feet, on the floor. He did what was expected of him, placing Baekhyun on the chair and doing his best not to look at his face anymore. Perhaps it would be easier for him if Chanyeol imagined him being any other target he had been dealing with for the past years. However, how could he do that when Baekhyun’s scent tickled his nose in a gentle and comporting caress as he crouched down behind him to tie his hands together, when the skin of his hands was still as soft as ever, and when his fingers still looked so perfect against Chanyeol’s own as he fastened the rope around his wrist. He pulled on it tightly even if his fingers were shaking and it was difficult to make it as perfect as he usually would. He didn’t want to hurt Baekhyun by making it too tight and it was so stupid of him because he had to do it and Baekhyun had never once taken the time to think whether Chanyeol would be in pain or not. He forced himself to do it.

 

Once he was sure that Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to untie himself, he stepped back, putting distance between them even if it didn’t make it easier to breath since he found it impossible to look away from the man who had broken his heart and was now at his mercy. He could still feel Junmyeon’s presence behind him, strong, patient, and darker than a night sky, so different than Baekhyun who still managed to glow brighter than the sun in front of Chanyeol despite his current state. Chanyeol was supposed to turn him into darkness.

 

Silence settled over the whole room for a few minutes and Chanyeol watched, observed, repeated Junmyeon’s words in his head. He had a hard time listening to his own thoughts, actually thinking, and linking them all together. He was supposed to kill Baekhyun. That was what he was there for. That was what he had promised Junmyeon. That was what he owed Jongin. That was what he had promised himself to do. It had seemed so easy when he had been locked up in Junmyeon’s house, away from everything that was Baekhyun, but now, as the latter was in front of him, so near, so beautiful, and at his mercy, Chanyeol forgot everything he had told himself in the past few days. He still could feel everything, the pain, the heartbreak, the anger, and yet, he _couldn’t._

 

"Boss," he called out, like the first intake of breath of a person who had been in the middle of drowning. "Maybe you should be the one to do it. Everything’s ready, you can just do it. I’ll wait outside with Minseok while you do it. It might be better, you’d be better at it," he rambled, not even able to actually say what he was talking about.

 

"No," was Junmyeon’s instant reply, cold, stern, and final. He caught Chanyeol’s gaze. It had been almost twenty minutes and Chanyeol could see that his patience was running out. "You have to kill your own feelings. That would be the ultimate victory."

 

Victory? Chanyeol felt as if he was losing everything.

 

He parted his lips, cold panic and nausea rushing through his whole body, intending to protest and convince Junmyeon to do it for him but he was interrupted when a soft groan reached his ears, the poisoned blood in his veins freezing along with his entire being. Junmyeon’s gaze slid to the side, his lips curling into a bone-chilling smile as he looked at Baekhyun. Chanyeol forced himself to look at him too, caught up in a storm of painful feelings as soon as his gaze fell on Baekhyun whose eyelids fluttered open, eyebrows furrowing. He must be in pain. Junmyeon had hit his head hard and he had seen a bit of blood when he was tying his hands earlier. He woke up too quickly. Chanyeol wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for the hole in his chest to widen even more when Baekhyun’s confused gaze locked into his for two seconds before sliding to Junmyeon, realization washing over his whole face as he tugged on his hands, groaning when he was unable to move them.

 

It was real. All of this was real and it was happening.

 

"What the hell," he heard Baekhyun mutter as he tugged harder on his hands, features barely showing any sign of panic. He had always been good at managing his emotions and hiding everything. Anger sizzled in Chanyeol’s stomach but he wasn’t sure who it was aimed at. His gaze locked into Chanyeol’s again once he stopped squirming around, seemingly exhausted, shoulders dropping, eyebrows furrowing, teeth sinking into his lower lip right after he let out a breath, the air escaping his mouth seemingly taking away a bit of his light. His glow was growing weaker in Chanyeol’s eyes and finally, he could see the only feelings he had wanted to see on Baekhyun’s face for days, heartbreak, something like sorrow, pain, and betrayal. He had wanted Baekhyun to feel the same way he did, that would’ve been his only consolation and yet, as their gaze locked, Chanyeol could positively say that he was feelings all of that twice as much as Baekhyun did. "It was a trap," the latter said, not questioning him, simply stating a fact with that small, shaky voice that Chanyeol hadn’t heard since that day he threw accusations at the other in his own apartment.

 

Chanyeol parted his lips before pressing them together again as soon as he realized that the words that had been about to escape his mouth were of regret, apologies, and explanations. Even now, Baekhyun had the ability to shake his whole core up with a single glance and he hated it so much. He hated how something that Junmyeon had told him would be the right thing to do felt so wrong. He forced himself to ignore it, focusing on Junmyeon’s voice instead, grateful that the other spoke in time to prevent him from slipping into a trap again.

 

"It was a trap," came Junmyeon’s voice, resonating strongly in the whole warehouse, and Chanyeol was still only looking at Baekhyun but he could recognize the tint of satisfaction in it, the small lilt of victory, and the mocking edge it took. "And you fell into it so easily, I’m almost disappointed," he continued, voice dripping with smugness as he stepped closer to Baekhyun, leaving Chanyeol behind him.

 

It was almost scary, the way all the sorrow on Baekhyun’s face instantly vanished once his gaze slid to Junmyeon again, his features twisting into an ugly and hateful grimace as he tugged on his hands again, as if he could be strong enough to free himself and wrap them around the elder’s neck, as if that was all he had ever wanted to do. However, he was unable to do anything and Junmyeon’s mocking laughter echoed in the room, hurting Chanyeol ears.

 

"Shut the fuck up!" Baekhyun screamed, loud enough for his voice to sound hoarse, trashing around once again. "You have no right to do this after all this time. Let me and Chanyeol go right now or-"

 

His voice was abruptly cut off, the sound of bones clashing against bones overpowering it instead as Junmyeon’s tight fist collided with his face heavily, the chair wobbling a bit on its feet under the strength of the elder’s hit before it stilled again. Chanyeol felt as if that punch had been aimed at him, right into his stomach, pulling the air out of his lungs and throwing blood up into his mouth. His fingers twitched as if his body was unconsciously pushing him to do something, to _protect,_ but he remained frozen where he was, heartbeat pushing against his chest strongly, madly, but unable to make him move either. He realized that the blood in his mouth was coming from where his teeth had sunk into his tongue in an attempt to keep control over himself.

 

Baekhyun was silenced by Junmyeon’s punch and the latter rubbed at his knuckles with his other hand, looking down at Baekhyun whose eyes were dripping with poison and fire as he looked up at Junmyeon, hatred staining his beautiful features and transforming him into someone Chanyeol could barely recognize as he spat the blood in his mouth out, gaze never once leaving Junmyeon. _You can’t recognize him because you never even knew him_ , a voice whispered in Chanyeol’s head, oddly sounding like Junmyeon’s.

 

"Don’t talk nonsense, I’m not forcing Chanyeol to be here so I can’t let him go," Junmyeon said, voice calm and collected as if his burst of violence hadn’t even happened, words sweet and mocking as they danced in the air. "He’s here on his own free will, he’s the one who called you here after all, isn’t he?"

 

Those words had been aimed to hurt Baekhyun but Chanyeol felt their effects too, feeling suffocated as he watched Baekhyun freeze, his jaw tightening, his gaze filling with the same glint of betrayal and sadness from when he had first opened his eyes. _Focus on the anger, don’t fall into the trap._ He repeated it again in his head but it was so difficult to listen to himself when small, fragile, weak, and hurt Baekhyun was in front of him, pleading him with his eyes, pulling on all the strings in Chanyeol’s broken heart. _Focus on the anger, don’t fall into the trap._ He had to do this. He shouldn’t believe Baekhyun, it was all a lie, none of his feelings were real, Junmyeon had given him a second chance and he couldn’t screw it all up again.

 

"Will this make you happy, Chanyeol?" Baekhyun asked, each syllable leaving his mouth turning into sharp daggers in the air before stabbing Chanyeol’s heart. "Do you really want this?" he asked, as if he would be willing to die if it meant Chanyeol would be happy. Fake. It was all a lie. A mirage.

 

Chanyeol took a step closer, as if pulled by that force that Baekhyun had always had over him. Junmyeon turned around, icy glare boring into Chanyeol’s eyes and freezing him in place.

 

"Stop with the pity card," Junmyeon cut them off, earning a snarl from Baekhyun again. "You thought you were smarter than me, Baekhyun? You’re not. Even today, you’re nothing but a street rat living like a coward and hiding for his whole life."

 

Chanyeol frowned, processing Junmyeon’s words but having a difficult time in doing it properly. _Even today?_

 

Before he could dwell on it, Baekhyun’s voice snapped in the air like a whip. "You’re the real coward, Junmyeon. You’re the one who hasn’t changed one bit after all these years. You’re the one who’s using-"

 

Once again, he was cut off by another strong punch coming from Junmyeon who aimed at his nose this time and Chanyeol closed his eyes, unable to bear the sight, unable to focus on all the feelings that attacked his mind at once, pain, confusion, anger, sorrow, and hatred. He couldn’t understand them but he didn’t even try, he couldn’t.

 

"Your poisoned words aren’t going to work on Chanyeol anymore, he finally saw through your manipulations and your lies," Junmyeon laughed, the sound ugly and hollow. 

 

"I never manipulated him, you’re the one who shoved all that into his head," Baekhyun groaned between clenched teeth, sounding strong as ever even if a trail of blood dripped down his nose.

 

"You won’t be able to fool him anymore," the elder continued, as if he hadn’t even heard Baekhyun’s words, voice loud as if he wanted to drown out Baekhyun’s voice. "He knows who’s side he has to be on. He knows what’s the right thing to do."

 

"You’re the one who’s been fooling him for ten fucking years, Junmyeon! Let him go," Baekhyun asked, pleaded, and Chanyeol couldn’t breath, gaze going back and forth between the two of them, a deep ache continuously throwing itself against his temples. He hated this.

 

"Don’t listen to him, Chanyeol," Junmyeon ordered, as if he knew what Chanyeol was thinking about. "He’s trying to manipulate you again. You won’t be able to, Baekhyun. You won’t be able to take him away, he belongs to me," he screamed, laughed, his voice sounding so foreign to Chanyeol’s ears, his words shoving shards of discomfort into his body. The same thing had happened that night in Chanyeol’s bedroom when Junmyeon had been cupping his cheek and smiling to him, too close, too intimate, too foreign. He couldn’t say anything. It was too quick.

 

"He belongs to no one!" Baekhyun screeched and Chanyeol felt himself suffocated as he couldn’t decide who’s voice to focus on. Junmyeon. Junmyeon was always right. Junmyeon had given him a  second chance. He couldn’t disappoint him. "You’re sick, you’re so fucking sick. You’ve brainwashed him into believing everything you say, you’re using him, you’re-"

 

"Enough talking!" Junmyeon cut him off and Baekhyun continued speaking but Chanyeol forced himself not to listen because he was lying, he had always been lying, and Junmyeon had always wanted what was best for him. "Chanyeol is doing this because he wants to and to prove it to you, he’s going to kill you with his own hands. Right, Chanyeol?"

 

Chanyeol had felt like he was a mere witness watching this scene unfolding through a window until now, listening to their arguments, their accusations, and their words about himself without being able to comprehend it all but Junmyeon’s words snapped him out of it. He forced himself to listen to him. Baekhyun was trying to manipulate him again, Baekhyun was lying, it didn’t make sense. Junmyeon wasn’t manipulating him, he had never done that. HIs stomach churned. He forced himself to forget Junmyeon’s sweet words, his sadness, his orders. Junmyeon only wanted his happiness. Junmyeon wanted him to kill Baekhyun. Panic seeped into him, heavy, liquid, filling his lungs and choking him up, drowning him in an ocean of pain and uncertainty.

 

He remained silent, overwhelmed, all the bravado he had about getting rid of Baekhyun suddenly vanishing in the air when his gaze met the other’s pleading one. It was Baekhyun. The child he had protected in the past, the child who had survived through harsh winters with him in the past, the child who had gifted him a bracelet because he wanted to be friends with Chanyeol forever. It was Baekhyun, the man who constantly kept challenging him, the man who could created bubbles of happiness in Chanyeol’s chest so easily, the man who had told him he was in love with him, the man who had broken his heart and manipulated him and lied to him and was only using him. It was _Baekhyun._

 

"Chanyeol!" Junmyeon’s voice snapped him out of his hazy mind and he looked at him, at the anger on his lips, at the hatred in his eyes. It was wrong, so wrong. "Do it for Jongin. He killed Jongin. That’s the right thing to do," he finishes, gaze boring into Chanyeol’s eyes as he stepped closer to him, hand slipping under his jacket to retrieve the gun there only to take Chanyeol’s hand and make him hold it. "Do it."

 

The gun was cold against Chanyeol’s skin, slightly slippery as his palms were sweaty but Junmyeon’s order was clear and he ignored the way his entire being screamed at him to stop and took a deep breath instead, holding the weapon tightly and turning to Baekhyun who shook his head, features stained with panic.

 

"Don’t listen to him, Chanyeol! He’s lying, I never manipulated you, just believe me," he said, words unclear as he rushed them out, desperate. "I love you! I’ve always loved you, genuinely, and we promised to grow old together, you can’t do this. Don’t let him manipulate you," he screamed as Chanyeol took a small step closer to him, raising the gun that was in his hand to aim properly.

 

He faltered, caught up in the storm of emotions in Baekhyun’s eyes. Junmyeon noticed.

 

"Stop with those stupid lies. You’ve always used him to destroy us, you manipulated him and he means nothing to you. You even killed his brother."

 

Junmyeon’s voice was almost distant in his head, like a thought instead of a real person’s words, drowned out by the sound of his furious heartbeat, and Chanyeol could feel his hand shaking as he aimed right between Baekhyun’s eyebrows. However, the latter trashed around, wobbling on the chair, shaking his head and pleading with his eyes, screaming.

 

"I didn’t! Chanyeol, just listen to me. I didn’t do anything wrong, I didn’t kill Jongin! I never-"

 

"Then who, Baekhyun?" Chanyeol finally snapped, tightening his grip on the gun to stop shaking, pain rising through his heart. Junmyeon was only a few feet away from him, near Baekhyun, watching him, waiting. "Your bracelet was there."

 

"Chanyeol!" he called out, urging him to pull the trigger. Chanyeol wouldn’t move a single inch of his body.

 

"He did it! Junmyeon did it!" Baekhyun screamed and Chanyeol’s breath hitched. He was lying. He had always blamed Junmyeon for everything. He was lying. "Can’t you see the grasp he has on you? He set everything up, it was all a trap for the both of us and we fell into it! He set me up and made you believe I did it but I didn’t, Chanyeol!" he continued and the more he spoke the more Chanyeol’s hand was shaking, his aim messed up, his finger frozen on the trigger. He could hear Junmyeon say something, barking another order but Chanyeol couldn’t focus on it, the gears in his head working, a bead of sweat trailing down his spine as he almost started hyperventilating. "He’s manipulating you! He’s always been manipulating you! He killed Jongin and he can kill you too. He wasn’t important for Junmyeon and neither are you, the only thing cares about is power."

 

Chanyeol shook his head, lips parted to take in as much air as possible but somehow, it couldn’t reach his lungs. He felt the whole room spinning around him as he was attacked by memories of his time with Junmyeon. Junmyeon had been manipulating him. No, it couldn’t be right. Junmyeon had killed Jongin and blamed it on Baekhyun. No. No, it wasn’t true. Baekhyun was only desperate to pull himself out of this situation. Then why couldn’t Chanyeol move at all? Why couldn’t he just shoot him and finish everything up? Why couldn’t he hear Junmyeon’s words? Why? He couldn’t breath. He felt as if the walls were closing in on him.

 

"Chanyeol!" Junmyeon barked and his gaze flickered to him. "What the hell are you waiting for? Shoot!"

 

He shook his head. Fragile, weak, beautiful Baekhyun. He couldn’t do it. He had to do it. He couldn’t. He didn’t know who to believe. Baekhyun was only playing with his mind again. He was exhausted. It was too hot around him, the air was too heavy.

 

He heard Junmyeon groan like an angry animal, one that couldn’t get its claws on their target, and by the time Chanyeol looked at him again, he finally snapped out of his haze but his eyes widened at the sight. Junmyeon was taking furious steps towards the left where a shelf full of empty boxes stood, walking behind it and leaning down to grab something before emerging again while holding a red container that Chanyeol hadn’t noticed until now. He felt his heart stop beating. Junmyeon took wide steps until he could stand next to Baekhyun again. He snatched the lid away, letting it crash on the ground with a sound that was louder than normal in Chanyeol’s ears. Everything happened in slow motion, he was still shaking but he couldn’t even feel it when his whole world came crashing down, his whole mind somehow giving up as everything unfolded.

 

Junmyeon lifted the red container up. Baekhyun screamed something, trashing around harder than ever as Junmyeon poured it all over him. He spluttered, the chair wobbling a bit as he desperately tried escaping it. The smell reached Chanyeol’s nose, burning his throat. Gasoline.

 

"What are you doing?" someone screamed and it took him a few seconds to realize it was his own voice.

 

"Who’s side are you on, Chanyeol?" Junmyeon asked, throwing the now empty container away in a harsh movement, anger trembling in his dark orbs. "Why the hell haven’t you shot him yet?"

 

Chanyeol shook his head, not enough air in his lungs for him to form a proper reply. He lowered the gun a bit, his arm numb and prickled by millions of tiny needles. His silence didn’t satisfy Junmyeon who groaned, cursing out loud in a way that Chanyeol had never heard him do.

 

"If you don’t shoot him right now, I’ll put him on fire to make sure nothing of him will be left in this world. Are you going to shoot him or would you like him to suffer a much more painful death?" he asked, voice sounding so distant in Chanyeol’s ears, as if a glass window were separating them. He was getting dizzy but he shook his head harder, catching a glimpse of Baekhyun who still was trying to tug on his own wrist but not able to hear his words. 

 

All he could focus on was the mad glint in Junmyeon’s eyes, the foreign tone of his voice, and the whole room spinning around him. He had to do it. He had to do it. _He had to do it._ He tried raising his gun again, aiming, taking deep breath. He couldn’t breath.

 

"Do it!" Junmyeon screamed and Chanyeol tightened his finger on the trigger, forcing himself not to shake. However, he seemed to take too much time and Junmyeon cursed out loud again, voice mixing in with Baekhyun’s words as he kept trying to say something but Chanyeol couldn’t hear him. He could barely hear Junmyeon. He couldn’t even hear his own heart beating. Weird sounds attacked his ears, the wind rustling the leaves, foreign voices. "I’ll burn you down into ashes and make sure you know who the real leader is."

 

He said something else but Chanyeol couldn’t hear, too focused on Baekhyun’s expression, the anger in his glossy eyes, the way his lips moved quickly without any sound reaching Chanyeol’s ears. Junmyeon moved, Chanyeol saw it from the corner of his eye and when he looked at the elder properly again, he had something silver between his fingers, something rectangular, something that Chanyeol had never seen before, a lighter. He squinted, trying his best to focus on it as the whole world spun around him, he looked at it, observed it, gaze focusing on the carved form that he could see on its surface. It was long, swirls and curls gathered together with a forked tongue, red eyes, a snake, a _cobra._

 

Everything zeroed on the the silver lighter, Chanyeol was dizzy, he couldn’t breath, beads of sweat trailed down his temples, down his spine, tracing the bumps on his back as if trying to push him forward. He couldn’t breath, he felt poisoned, the red substance in his veins hurting him with each worryingly fast-paced beat of his heart, he couldn’t breath. It was stifling, he felt suffocated, he couldn’t look away, as if someone was gripping his neck, his shoulders, his jaw. He couldn’t breath. It was hot. Stifling. 

 

It was dark, he couldn’t see anything but the moonlight reflecting on the silver cobra staring right back at him, threatening him, blinding him. He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t move. It was hot. He couldn’t breath, as if someone had ignited a fire right inside of him, as if the fire was right in front of him, in his eyes, so near to him. 

 

He closed his eyes, a headache screaming in his skull, flames consuming his whole life as everything around him faded, his ears whistling and his back drenched in sweat. 

 

It was hot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Hot._

 

_It was too hot._

 

_Flames were dancing right in front of him. Red. Like the blood he could see on the floor, at his feet._

 

_Hot. He was burning._

 

_It wasn’t his skin though. Was it? No._

 

_His heart was in flames as he watched the fire engulfing the house in front of him as soon as the silver lighter dropped to the floor, the tiny flames igniting the trail of gasoline that had been poured towards the mansion, flames coursing towards the building and slowly embracing all of it as Chanyeol watched, the red-eyed cobra on the lighter staring back at him, mocking him, slowly turning black. In a few minutes the whole building would be in flames, including the two people inside of it._

 

_Hot. He was burning._

 

_His whole body was in flames, the heat seeping into his skin in the form of bruises and blood, red, purple, painful. It wasn’t as painful as his throat, though, and he screamed harder, louder, trashing against the two pairs of hands holding him down as his gaze never once left the house burning in front of him._

 

_"Let me go!" he screamed with all his guts, throat hoarse but he didn’t care, he had to do something. He had to save Baekhyun. He couldn’t let him die, he had to throw himself into that house and get him out of it before the flames consumed him._

 

_"Hold him tighter," a voice ordered next to him. "He’s a mere child and yet he looks ready to throw the both of you to the floor. Are you weaker than a kid?"_

 

_He didn’t pay attention to it though, he tried his best to free himself, trashing around, kicking the hands away, punching anything he could reach. He had to save him. If not, he had to die with him._

 

_"Baekhyun!" he screamed again, eyes burning both from the heat of the flames and the tears that pooled in them and then trailed down his cheeks, igniting the bruises on his face._

 

_"Baekhyun can’t hear you anymore, Chanyeol. He’s probably turning into ashes right at this moment," the same voice replied to him and he turned to the man, snarling, groaning, trying to reach him with his legs, kick him, hurt him, make him pay for taking Baekhyun away from him._

 

_"Let me go," he pleaded, tired, motionless, hands gripping the grass on the ground, forehead pressing next to them. He was tired, so weak, and exhausted. "Let me die with him," he sobbed, his frail body shaking with the sound as he tried to free himself one last time, without any success._

 

_"Oh, you will die with him, don’t worry. You’ll have to watch him turn into ashes first, though." Laughter. Mocking. Spiteful. Merciless. The wind whistled in his ears, screaming, carrying the sound of fire eating wood away and the sizzling of flames._

 

_He started trashing around again, screaming, ripping his own muscles apart until finally, he felt one pair of hands slip away from his shoulders. He took the occasion the scramble up on his feet and run but as soon as he put his whole weight on his legs, he fell again, pain shooting up his beaten body. He felt the air pulled out of him when something hard dug into his stomach as someone kicked him, blood shooting up into his mouth. He was too weak. He had failed Baekhyun._

 

_"Useless dumbasses," the man groaned in anger as hands once again grabbed Chanyeol, holding him in place. "Sehun, hold him down before these two mess everything up."_

 

_"Yes, boss," Chanyeol heard as a third pair of hands grabbed a hold of him._

 

_"Why?" he shouted, coughing, the smoke seeping into his weak lungs. He couldn’t breath. "Why are you doing this, Junmyeon?"_

 

_"Because I want to be King, Chanyeol. And now, I am," Junmyeon laughed, the sound hurting Chanyeol as much as every other kick and punch he had received a few minutes ago. "Too bad you won’t be here to see it," he finished and with a single motion of his hand, Chanyeol found himself showered in pain again, feet and hands colliding with parts of his body._

 

_Hot._

 

_The pain was scaling hot, burning his skin, leaving it red and purple and blue. It was hot. His whole body was burning and the flames in front of him were sizzling and cracking and consuming Chanyeol’s whole life away._

 

_Something whizzed in his ears as his head bumped against the ground again, his eyes searching for the glint of silver that was buried in the flames, in front of him._

 

_Loud. It was so loud, his own screams, Baekhyun’s screams in his head, the flames, laughter around him._

 

_He had lost._

 

_He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t see. It was too dark. The wind whistled in his ears, carrying the heat. It was loud._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loud.

 

It was so loud.

 

It was dark. Too dark. He couldn’t see anything around him. Only a silver glint under the moonlight.

 

It was so loud. Screams, rushed words, barked orders, his own heavy breathing.

 

Loud.

 

It was so loud.

 

A muffled sound.

 

A scream.

 

A gunshot.

 

 


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

For a few seconds, all Chanyeol could register was the loud and broken sound of his heavy breathing, echoing in his head along with the almost equally as fast rhythm of his wild heartbeat and the foreign yet familiar voices that still lingered around him from the past. It took him a while to be able to remember where he was, whether he was actually in front of a burning house or in a warehouse with a gun in his hand, finger still pressed on the trigger after he had fired the bullet. 

 

For a few seconds, all Chanyeol could think about was that memory as it flashed behind his eyelids over and over again each time he blinked. It was not the first time he had had that memory, he could recognize a bit of it from that time he had been with Jongdae in front of a warehouse the latter had put fire into but it was more detailed this time. It was full. He had seen the full scene in his mind and he wasn’t sure whether it was actually real or not.

 

For a few seconds, all Chanyeol could do was force himself to process everything the memory had contained. Flames. Men holding him back. Laughter. Sehun. A silver lighter that all high-ranked members of Cobra possessed. Junmyeon. _Junmyeon._  

 

Junmyeon who had been there, in Chanyeol’s past, laughing at him, mocking him as he made him watch the flames that consumed the house Baekhyun had been trapped in. Junmyeon who had always told him he had found Chanyeol in the streets ten years ago and had saved him by giving him a home and a family. Junmyeon who had always wanted Chanyeol’s happiness. _Junmyeon._ Junmyeon who had accused him of betraying his family. Junmyeon who had lied to him all this time. Junmyeon who had been behind all of this. 

 

His body quivered with a sharp intake of breath and all of a sudden, Chanyeol felt his ears ringing again, head spinning a bit until he took another deep breath in, blinked, and finally could see what was happening in front of him and what was being said to him. His gaze flickered to Baekhyun whose wide eyes were fixated on him, his skin glistening with the gasoline Junmyeon had poured all over him. He looked down on the floor, near Baekhyun, to see the silver lighter dropped there, lid closed and secured as it rested near a form squirming on the floor. His attention snapped to the squirming man, red bleeding into the floor as he held his hand against his chest, his other hand holding onto his wrist, blood trailing between his fingers. He caught Chanyeol’s frantic gaze. It was Junmyeon. It had always been Junmyeon.

 

"What are you doing, Chanyeol?!" the elder growled in anger, snapping Chanyeol out of his haze.

 

And Chanyeol was confused, he still couldn’t fully comprehend what he had just remembered but something in him seemed to break with those words and suddenly, he was overwhelmed by feelings that seemed to consume him all at once, flooding him, burning him, anger, confusion, rage, betrayal, something halfway between a wild fire and poisoned water. His head was swarming with thoughts. He caught movement from the corner of his eyes and he glanced at Baekhyun who was was still looking at him, features pulled into a pained grimace, arms moving a bit. Something pushed him, shoving him forward from inside, and he took a step closer to Baekhyun, body moving on its own as if he finally, finally knew what was the right thing to do when he was more confused than ever.

 

However, it didn’t matter. He could hear it in his head. His own screams. Laughter. Junmyeon mocking him. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now that the voice that had been small and scared in his head until now was finally screaming at him to move, take Baekhyun, and run away because that was the only right thing to do now. Chanyeol obeyed to that inner voice, gaze not once leaving Baekhyun who was shaking his head as if even he couldn’t understand what was happening. Everything was happening in slow motion in Chanyeol’s eyes, his body heavy as it advanced towards Baekhyun until something grabbed his hand and stopped him.

 

"What are you doing?" Junmyeon asked again, looking up at Chanyeol from the floor, fingers tight around the latter’s wrist, leaving smudges of blood on his skin as his voice sent chills down Chanyeol’s spine. It was so odd, so foreign, so dark and heavy and full of sly notes Chanyeol had never heard until now. It sounded so similar to Junmyeon’s voice in that memory and suddenly, something exploded in Chanyeol and his body moved on its own, anger and rage taking control of his limbs as he snatched his wrist away from Junmyeon and pushed him away with a strong kick to his ribs, gathering all the rage into that single sharp swing of his leg. 

 

The elder let out a groan as he scrambled away on the floor and Chanyeol heard himself gasp a little, surprised by his own actions and by the way he almost immediately took a step closer to Junmyeon as if to make sure he was okay. As if a small part of him had been programmed to never ever hurt Junmyeon and respect him and obey him and do whatever the elder wanted him to do and never question him. Maybe that was truer than Chanyeol had ever believed and with that single thought, he felt all the rage in him grow stronger, firing up his veins and consuming him enough for him to take a few seconds to notice he was slowly stepping closer to Junmyeon who had pulled himself up on his feet again, bloodied hand hanging limply on his side as he sized Chanyeol up with those dark orbs.

 

He didn’t look destabilized at all and somehow, it made Chanyeol feel worse, enough for his voice to boom inside the warehouse loudly.

 

"You’re the one behind all of this."

 

"You just shot me, Chanyeol," Junmyeon replied and his features curved into something halfway between anger and shock, something so perfectly put on it couldn’t be natural. Had he always been like this? Or did Chanyeol just start noticing it now? 

 

"It was you all along, Junmyeon!" he accused the other, voice only trembling slightly as he continued advancing towards him, hands balled up into tight fists at his side, his gun still held in one them. 

 

"What are you saying?!" Junmyeon frowned, looking so confused, so sad, and so innocent Chanyeol almost wanted to take everything back. He glanced at his hand. It was bloodied and the pain was clear in Junmyeon’s voice but he didn’t do anything about it. Even now, he was calm. He would never react this way normally. He was cornered. Suddenly, he pointed towards Baekhyun, spitting words of rage. "It’s his fault, Chanyeol, can’t you see?! He pushed you to shoot me. _Me._ He’s still manipulating you, he’s doing all of this, he’s the one who’s been-"

 

"I remember, Junmyeon!" Chanyeol cut him off and the elder froze, features carefully pulled into a thick curtain of blankness as soon as those words left Chanyeol’s mouth. He could feel himself shaking, not in fear but in anger, rage, and that same deep feeling of betrayal that cut through him like sharp icicles piercing through his heart. However, this time they weren’t shoved into his chest by the same person.

 

"What are you talking about?" Junmyeon asked calmly and that was the last straw for Chanyeol who lurched himself at him, eyes stinging, blinded by rage and betrayal even if he couldn’t comprehend everything, only guided by the feelings swarming in his chest and reason screaming in his head.

 

However, it seemed that Junmyeon had been expecting this reaction and before Chanyeol could even crash the hand that was holding his gun against the elder’s face, the latter moved to avoid it, his usable hand locking around Chanyeol’s wrist to pull him towards him, making him stagger on his feet before pushing him away so easily Chanyeol almost wanted to laugh at himself and the fact that he could never properly fight whenever he was overwhelmed by feelings he didn’t want. Especially when his body almost refused to cooperate, almost awkward when the aim of his attacks was supposed to be Junmyeon who had taught him everything he knew.

 

"It took you ten long years, Chanyeol. Looks like your movements are starting to get as slow as your mind too," he heard Junmyeon chuckle in front of him, the sound dripping with venom and mockery.

 

Those words hit Chanyeol’s core like a well-aimed bulled nestling right between his eyebrows and as painful as it was to hear the only confirmation he needed, Chanyeol was still swarming in rage and the other was right, he was having a difficult time actually fighting Junmyeon but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. With that last thought, he threw himself at the elder, catching him off guard by aiming a kick at his calve, hooking his ankle on it and pulling hard enough for Junmyeon to lose his balance and fall down after Chanyeol’s fist simultaneously collided with his nose, causing him to land on his wounded hand and let out a scream of pain that made his stomach churn. He ignored it and took the occasion to lock Junmyeon in place by landing on top of him and caging his hips between his thighs, barely looking at him before he started landing punches on his face with the gun that was still in his hand, hitting as hard as possible even if he could almost feel half the pain the other probably felt. He didn’t care, he was barely even aware of what he was doing, simply led on by his instincts and the ugly rage that had pooled inside of him in a matter of seconds.

 

However, Junmyeon gained the upper hand again when Chanyeol slowed down the slightest, and the younger found himself momentarily blinded when Junmyeon used his free hand to gather some of the dirt that was on the floor and threw it in Chanyeol’s eyes while the latter’s whole attention had been on his face. He groaned in pain as his eyes immediacy started stinging but he was aware of the way Junmyeon threw him off him by bucking his hips up and rolling them both on the floor to switch their position and scramble away as soon as he was freed from Chanyeol’s weight, the latter’s gun dropping to the floor in a moment of destabilization. He scrambled away from the elder as well, still with his eyes closed, and the laughter that reached his ears was so unfamiliar and bone-chilling he could feel himself shiver in disgust. It was the same laughter he had heard in that memory. Junmyeon simply kept laughing for a few seconds during which Chanyeol felt shame and anger flood his mind all at once and he hated it so much, he hated how he could feel a part of himself lurching with disapproval at the fact that he had just fought with Junmyeon, was _fighting_ with him.

 

He couldn’t linger on those ridiculous feelings however, snapping back into reality when he heard the familiar click of a loaded gun and he forced his eyes to open just in time to see a gun aimed at him. His heart froze in his chest at the sight, his gaze flickering to the twisted smile splitting Junmyeon’s face into two as his finger tightened on the trigger and it was almost ridiculous when he felt his heart breaking a bit in betrayal, as if it was even surprising at this point that Junmyeon wouldn’t hesitate to shoot him. However, his body seemed to still be able to manage itself with the adrenaline that kicked in, making him roll on the ground just in time to hear the loud sound of a gunshot, the bullet lodging on the spot Chanyeol had been a mere second ago.

 

His eyes were still stinging and it was difficult to see properly when he could still feel dirt clouding his vision a bit but he forced himself to move, lurching his body to move out of habit just like he would have done it with any other opponent. Junmyeon cursed when he missed and Chanyeol glanced at his side, his gun was out of reach so he simply threw himself at Junmyeon who seemed taken aback by the action since he took a step back and adjusted his aim towards Chanyeol again. He shot again without any hesitation and Chanyeol was barely able to avoid it, the bullet grazing his arm before his long legs took him to Junmyeon and he swung one of them up, the heel of his combat boots colliding with Junmyeon’s hand, forcing him to drop the gun and stagger back with the force of the movement. Chanyeol didn’t lose any time and aimed a punch to his face but the elder caught his fist into the palm of his hand before it could collide with his face. However, he was at a disadvantage since he could use only one hand to fight and it was easy for Chanyeol to aim another punch with his other hand, the elder unable to stop him this time and staggering back as his nose cracked under Chanyeol’s knuckles instead, the latter ignoring the way the movement had pulled on the wound on his arm and shot pain through his whole wounded limb.

 

As Junmyeon was busy trying to regain his balance, Chanyeol immediately leaned down and grabbed the gun dropped by the elder before aiming right into Junmyeon’s heart. The latter instantly froze, chest heaving up and down almost as much as Chanyeol’s did as their gaze locked together for a few silent seconds during which Chanyeol felt something in him force him to pull his hand down and stop aiming at Junmyeon. However, he ignored it, focusing on the rage instead as he watched Junmyeon part his lips, the first puffs of air leaving his mouth soon replaced by the ugly sound of his cackling, his voice resonating in the warehouse as if he had just won a battle when he was held at gunpoint instead. Chanyeol tightened his hold on the gun, finger resting against the trigger.

 

"Are you going to shoot me, Chanyeol?" he asked, voice back to the gentle and soothing tone he had always used with Chanyeol. He tightened his finger on the trigger, fighting off the nausea and the dizziness that lingered around.

 

"You’d deserve it," was the reply Chanyeol muttered between clenched teeth.

 

"Why? Do you even know why I’d deserve it?" Junmyeon asked, still frozen but speaking as if he had already won against Chanyeol. The latter stayed silent, unable to answer when Junmyeon obviously was jubilating with the knowledge that he was right. Chanyeol still barely knew anything, he was only acting by instincts and he knew that he wasn’t wrong in what he was doing right now but he still didn’t know the whole story. "I thought so," the elder shook his head and suddenly, he furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Chanyeol with an air of sorrow. "You know nothing and yet you’re going to kill me? You’re going to shoot the man who picked you up the streets and gave you a new life?"

 

It was almost stupid, the way Chanyeol had never noticed how Junmyeon always used that sentence whenever they were arguing. What was worst was that, as if programmed to be this way, Chanyeol felt his fingers shake slightly as soon as he heard those words. He tightened his hold on the gun again to conceal the tremor in his hand. Junmyeon still seemed to notice it though, a wicked smile distorting his features again.

 

"Stop, that doesn’t work anymore," Chanyeol groaned, putting as much conviction into his voice as possible.

 

"Really? Why don’t you shoot me then, Chanyeol?" he asked, tilted his head to the side a bit as if studying an expensive part of an intricate exhibition at one of those museums he sometimes liked to visit. 

 

Maybe that was really what Chanyeol had always been to Junmyeon, one of his prized possessions, one that he had programmed to be a certain way. He hated it. He hated it and he didn’t want to believe it. He wasn’t even sure what to believe anymore and half of him wanted to stop everything because what if this was a mistake? 

 

"Shoot me, Chanyeol. If you believe Baekhyun’s words over mine, shoot me," the elder asked again, voice confident despite the sadness swimming in his dark orbs. 

 

Chanyeol felt himself falter a bit and he he didn’t want to, he was panicking at the idea but it was almost as if his mind had been tweaked to be this way and he couldn’t break free of it. He stepped closer to Junmyeon, legs wobbly, the hand holding the gun shaking a bit more with each step he took towards the elder whose expression didn’t change at all. It was the same one he had been sporting when Chanyeol had spent too much time with that friend from the streets in the past, it was the same glint in his eyes he always had whenever he asked Chanyeol if it would make him happy to leave Venom and start a new life. That expression. As if he was scared that Chanyeol would leave him behind. 

 

His heart was pounding in his chest and his hand was shaking as he stood in front of Junmyeon, only a few steps separating them, the muzzle of his gun almost grazing the other’s chest. Junmyeon looked at him almost pleadingly and Chanyeol hated this. What if this was a mistake? But the memory was real, wasn’t it? Junmyeon had been there, he had put fire into the house and Chanyeol had screamed for Baekhyun. Baekhyun had always told him to be wary of Junmyeon. What if he was right? Why if he was wrong? What if Chanyeol simply remembered wrongly? He felt his chest having up and down faster as he became short of breath, gaze trapped into Junmyeon’s. Junmyeon had always taught him everything, he had raised him, he had done everything for Chanyeol.

 

What if he was wrong?

 

Before he could even find an answer to his own trail of questions, Junmyeon grabbed his hand and twisted it, fingers pressing on his wrist, digging until Chanyeol let out a pained sound and was forced to let go of the gun. He cursed out loud, having once again fallen into the elder’s trap  but before either of them could even do something, a swift form threw itself at Junmyeon, pushing the elder away and freeing Chanyeol from his grip. The latter looked at what was happening in front of him, wide eyes zeroing on Baekhyun as he suddenly was there, throwing punches into Junmyeon’s face, his wrists bloodied and scratched open as he had probably struggled for a while to free himself from the rope Chanyeol had tied around his wrists himself.

 

He had almost forgotten that Baekhyun had been there with them and judging by the way Junmyeon looked taken aback, he had forgotten about it too. However, Baekhyun was quickly gaining the upper hand, showering the elder with kicks and well-aimed punches that Junmyeon couldn’t avoid or return with only one single hand. Chanyeol felt the natural urge to grab Baekhyun and pull him away from Junmyeon but he fought it off, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to anyway since Baekhyun looked positively murderous as he gave his all to this fight despite looking weaker than he had last time Chanyeol had seen him fight someone. 

 

He didn’t like it though, he didn’t want this to end like that. Baekhyun looked ready to beat Junmyeon to death but Chanyeol didn’t want that, not only because he wasn’t ready for it to actually happen but because he wanted to understand everything before it happened and he wanted to do it himself. He wanted to be the one to make everyone pay. He was tired of being shoved around like rag doll, he wanted to be the one to control things and if there was a revenge to take, he would do it himself. Moreover, Minseok was right outside and it was already a miracle that he hadn’t heard anything happening inside unless Baekhyun had really been accompanied here and he was busy fighting off other people outside or he just thought that they were successfully dealing with Baekhyun and the gunshots were a result of that. Maybe there were even more people outside at Junmyeon’s orders, Chanyeol wasn’t even sure of anything anymore. It was already hard enough to fight off Junmyeon alone and he knew that Minseok would be even worse, especially with Baekhyun probably worn off and himself still unable to take control over his body and mind completely. 

 

His eyes frantically looked around for a few seconds during which he felt helpless until he finally noticed the metal bar that Junmyeon had used to hit Baekhyun earlier. He quickly scrambled to grab it, fingers tight around it as he approached Junmyeon from behind without losing any second while the latter landed a punch on Baekhyun’s face. It wasn’t even surprising that the elder had lasted this long even with an injured hand, he had been the one to teach Chanyeol almost everything he knew after all, but that didn’t matter at that moment and Chanyeol took a deep breath, lifting the metal bar above his head before lowering it at once with a sharp movement, a loud thump echoing around them as it crashed against the back of Junmyeon’s head, the elder’s body freezing and dropping to the ground all at once under Baekhyun’s confused eyes.

 

"We should leave," was the only thing Chanyeol told him before he grabbed Baekhyun’s hand and puled him towards the door, not forgetting to take both Junmyeon’s gun and his from the floor as he did so.

 

"But Chanyeol," Baekhyun shook his head, tugging on his hand to stop Chanyeol. "We could just shoot him right here and then leave, why are we-"

 

"No!" Chanyeol cut him off as he shoved one of the guns into Baekhyun’s hands. "I won’t make any hasty decision anymore, Baekhyun. I won’t act before understanding the whole situation anymore and with Minseok outside, it’s a bad idea to try anything when we’re both in a  bad condition," he explained more as he pushed the door open and glanced outside once to check whether there was anyone before pulling Baekhyun outside, not even looking at him. He found it difficult to do so.

 

Baekhyun kept silent for a few seconds after that, probably because they were outside, and Chanyeol dragged him away from the warehouse, gaze racking around for any sign of danger as they ran towards the forest where Chanyeol’s car was hidden. He had come there with Junmyeon only a while ago and now he was leaving with Baekhyun while Junmyeon was laying unconscious in the warehouse. The thought sent shivers down his spine but he chose to blame it on the wind instead, focusing on the sound it produced by rustling the leaves of the trees they were trying to avoid, running as fast as they could without letting their feet catch on the broken branches or roots scattered all over the ground.

 

"How are we gonna leave?" Baekhyun finally spoke again as they wandered deeper into the forest. "And I’m not in a bad condition, I could’ve slit his throat open really cleanly there," he then muttered, causing Chanyeol’s stomach to churn at the thought.

 

"Your movements were slow when you fought him, you’re having a difficult time even running right now and you’re still losing blood from the wound on your head," Chanyeol said without looking at him, exasperated yet still overwhelmed by everything that had happened in such a short time.

 

Twenty minutes ago he had been about to shoot Baekhyun and now they were running away together and Chanyeol’s whole life was once again crumbling down into ruins made out of confusion and anger. He didn’t know what the right thing to do even was anymore but running away felt like the best thing to do at the moment, he wasn’t even controlling himself, he was only half aware of what he was doing, still too shaken up after everything.

 

"Did you also think about the fact that they could’ve put a tracker on your car, smartass?" Baekhyun snorted, causing Chanyeol to quieten down for a second as he had really not thought about that at all.

 

"Did you come with your own car?" he asked instead of replying.

 

"I did, it’s this way," Baekhyun sighed, glancing over his shoulder once before dragging Chanyeol towards the left instead.

 

They wandered through the trees for a few more minutes, footsteps rushed as they kept throwing glances over their shoulders, both silently looking around even if they had so many things to talk about. Chanyeol simply needed a few minutes of silence to process everything and he was glad Baekhyun wasn’t trying to initiate a conversation for once, he was probably also shaken up after what had happened earlier and it didn’t really matter for Chanyeol, simply being able to hear Baekhyun’s heavy breathing next to him as they ran through the forest was enough for him to be a little comforted.

 

"There," Baekhyun said once Chanyeol could see a car parked near the exit of the forest and he barely had time to look at Baekhyun, before the latter shoved car keys into his hands. "You drive."

 

"Why?" Chanyeol asked even as he headed towards the driver’s side, opening the door and slipping inside with rushed movements, legs aching a bit from running.

 

"I haven’t slept a lot in the past three days and I was unconscious less than half an hour ago," Baekhyun simply explained once he slid into the passenger’s seat and closed the door.

 

"How did you drive here then?" Chanyeol muttered, simply because he wanted to hear Baekhyun’s voice more as he turned the engine on and quickly drove off. Even if things were still so messy nd broken between them, it was still the only sound that managed to keep Chanyeol’s heart at bay.

 

"It was important," were Baekhyun’s only words.

 

Silence settled over them after that, only disturbed by their heavy breathing and the gentle roar of the car as Chanyeol pressed on the gas as much as he deemed safe with the lack of lighting on the road and the pain shooting up his wounded arm. He was still driving faster than he should at night and in this kind of road but he had no choice, maybe Junmyeon had already woken up and alerted everyone, maybe Minseok was already tailing them. He glanced at the rearview mirror once every few seconds just to make sure no one was following them and only after a few minutes did he relax the slightest, leaning his head back against the headrest and letting out a soft sigh. 

 

Everything had happened so quickly and he was still not able to register everything but the most important thing right now was that both he and Baekhyun were safe, that was all that mattered for now, even if Chanyeol felt as if miles were separating them despite being seated only inches away from each other. He hated feeling like that and he wondered if they would ever be able to go back to the way things were before but then again, Chanyeol still wasn’t sure about everything. It now seemed obvious that Junmyeon had set everything up and that Baekhyun had done nothing wrong and hadn’t even killed Jongin but it was too soon to do anything when he still had no proper explanation. It was okay. He’d deal with it later, once they’d be safe.

 

"Where are we going?" Baekhyun asked after five full minutes of silence, as if he had heard Chanyeol’s thoughts.

 

"I don’t know," he sighed. "We can’t go to my apartment and I have nowhere else to go," he said, throat tying into knots at his own words. He had nowhere to go now, not after what he had done to Junmyeon and not after what Junmyeon might have done to him. _Had_ done to him, rather. He probably wouldn’t be accepted into the family that raised him up anymore. He wasn’t even sure whether it had actually ever been a family. Probably not.

 

"Are you okay?" Baekhyun asked suddenly and Chanyeol could feel his gaze on him but he kept his eyes on the road.

 

"Yeah," he lied. "Do you have an idea about where we could go?"

 

"Maybe," Baekhyun sighed, moving on his seat until he managed to grab his phone from his pocket and tapped on the screen. "I’ll check."

 

Chanyeol still kept his eyes on the road, waiting in silence and glancing at the rearview mirror as he drove without any particular destination in mind, simply putting distance between them and the warehouse. Now, he knew that he probably would never be able to step into that place again and he wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not. He had chosen that place himself, he had thought it would be the most appropriate place to put an end to everything and yet, he had gotten out of the warehouse with a bigger mess in his hands. He tried not to think about it, forcing himself not to remember what had just happened there.

 

"It’s me," Baekhyun’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he glanced at him, observing him for a few seconds and noting his anxious and worried expression as he spoke into the receiver of his phone before focusing back on the road as he simply listened in silence. "Where are you? Home? I’m going there, with Chanyeol. Is that okay?" he asked all at once, rushing the words out of his mouth before falling silent. Chanyeol could hear a voice rising through the phone and he couldn’t distinguish the words but it wasn’t difficult to know that whatever was being said wasn’t pleasant. "Look, we don’t have time for that, Kyungsoo!" Baekhyun spoke again, visibly cutting the other person off. "We need to be somewhere safe, I’ll explain once we’re there, alright?" he asked, tone urgent before falling silent again as the person on the other end of the line seemingly spoke some more, only humming once in a while before finally hanging up.

 

Chanyeol threw him a questioning glance that he caught, returning it with a small twitch of his lips.

 

"Take a left turn there," he said while nodding towards the road. "I’ll give you directions."

 

"Who was that?" Chanyeol asked as he did as told, taking a left turn and driving off as fast as he could.

 

"Kyungsoo," Baekhyun simply said as if that would explain everything, before clearing his throat. "The guy I talked to you about before, the one you saw in the warehouse."

 

Chanyeol pursed his lips at those words, remembering the scene he had witnessed in the warehouse a few weeks ago. They had had their first actual fight that day and Chanyeol had been really stupid about it, overwhelmed by waves of anger and jealousy when seeing Baekhyun acting so intimate with someone else but later on, Baekhyun had explained that that person had been the one to help him all these years and that there was nothing to worry about. That didn’t keep Chanyeol from feeling utterly awkward at the prospect of meeting the guy he had fought with Baekhyun about but he supposed that they had no choice.

 

He had nowhere else to go and that thought was enough for him to press a bit harder on the gas, following the directions that Baekhyun gave him from time to time as they didn’t leave the outskirts of the city but headed deeper into it rather, on the opposite side of where the warehouse was. Baekhyun was the only one to speak a few words, Chanyeol choosing to keep silent, and he felt completely awkward as those words contained nothing but directions, sounding almost cold and hesitant at the same time. He didn’t really like the heavy tension between them as it was filled with negative emotions and unsaid words but Chanyeol didn’t have the will to deal with that at the moment, he only wanted to get the both of them somewhere safe and if Baekhyun thought that there would be no place safer than wherever that Kyungsoo was, then so be it.

 

He couldn’t expect Baekhyun to be as chirpy and talkative as usual when he was still dripping with gasoline and Chanyeol’s gun had been aimed at him only a few minutes ago anyway. He couldn’t expect anything from Baekhyun anymore and Chanyeol wasn’t really sure about anything now but he knew that Baekhyun couldn’t expect anything from him either at the moment. If things had turned out to be this way, it wasn’t Chanyeol’s fault, it wasn’t Baekhyun’s fault either. It was _their_ fault, they could’ve both prevented it and while Chanyeol was willing to take part of the blame, he hoped that Baekhyun would be as well.

 

Ten whole minutes passed this way and Chanyeol quietly cleared his throat before slowly pushing on the button on the door to slide the window open a little bit. Cold air immediately slapped him in the face and it was refreshing enough, the loud sound coming from the car slicing through the wind preventing the interior of the vehicle from being completely silent.

 

"What are you doing?" Baekhyun asked, as if startled, after ten seconds that Chanyeol counted in his head to prevent himself from thinking about anything else. 

 

"Opening the window," Chanyeol deadpanned, glancing at Baekhyun to see his eyebrows furrowed a bit. "You don’t exactly smell great."

 

"Who’s fucking fault is that," Baekhyun grumbled, snapping at him. He obviously wasn’t waiting for an answer from Chanyeol and the latter was thankful since the way his throat tied into knots would prevent him from saying anything else either way. Not that he would’ve said anything nice to Baekhyun.

 

He hated this awkward and heavy atmosphere hanging between them, the tiny sizzling of anger linking them both, but there was nothing he could do about it at the moment so he simply tightened his hold on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white a bit as he silently continued driving, following Baekhyun’s quiet directions. The faster they’d reach their destination, the faster Chanyeol would be able to understand everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What the fuck did you do again?" were the first words that greeted them as soon as the door of the mansion Baekhyun had led them to opened and Chanyeol looked over Baekhyun’s shoulder curiously.

 

The sight that greeted him was indeed a familiar one, the man from the warehouse was standing in front of them, one hand holding onto the doorknob as a frown pulled his eyebrows down, dark glare shooting daggers right into Baekhyun’s face as the latter stood in front of Chanyeol. Kyungsoo looked no different than the last time Chanyeol had seen him in the warehouse, he was still looking at Baekhyun with the same disapproval and glint of worry in his eyes and the only difference was that now, Chanyeol knew what his name was.

 

"Why the hell do you smell like someone dumped gasoline on you?" he then asked and Chanyeol almost had the urge to laugh but exhaustion had seeped too deep into his bones for him to do anything else but watch what was happening around him.

 

That didn’t seem to be Baekhyun’s case and the latter groaned as he shoved Kyungsoo aside before stepping into the house, motioning for Chanyeol to follow him. The taller stepped inside too, feeling Kyungsoo’s gaze on him but ignoring it in favor of looking at his surroundings instead, eyes racking over the blank white walls of the entrance hall that soon morphed into decorated walls as soon as they stepped into the living room, black and white furniture filling the room up, vases that seemed to have been picked by anyone but Baekhyun scattered around, intricate paintings hung on the walls along with empty frames, or at least frames filled with pictures of people that surely weren’t the two other men inhabiting this house but mere models that forced themselves to smile brightly while posing. 

 

The couches were made of something akin to black velvet, a low table made of glass separating them from the wide television screen hung on the wall across from it. It looked really expensive overall and Chanyeol had no time to actually linger on every inch and corner of the room but he knew that whoever bought it must have been rather wealthy and must have also wanted to leave it impersonal since there was no trace of actual warmth at all in this house, as if it had been bought not long ago and was only filled with people who weren’t fond of leaving traces behind them.

 

"Either Chanyeol shot me or _he_ burned me into ashes. That’s why I smell like gasoline, because that crazy bastard actually dumped a whole container of it on me," Baekhyun replied, catching Chanyeol’s attention again.

 

" _What?!_ " was Kyungsoo’s reply as he walked by Chanyeol who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room and stepped closer to Baekhyun who was looking at him in hesitation, occasionally glancing at Chanyeol. "You went there, didn’t you?" Kyungsoo questioned with a low and dark voice, words cracking with anger in the air.

 

"Kyungsoo," Baekhyun sighed, running a hand through his hair and wincing. His fingers had probably grazed against the wound on the back of his head and Chanyeol bit on his lower lip as he watched them, unsure what he was supposed to do.

 

"I told you not to go there, Baekhyun. Why do you never fucking listen to me? I told you it was a trap and you fell into it like an idiot. Look at you now," Kyungsoo continued grumbling and almost scolding Baekhyun who simply frowned as he looked at him, barely even affected by it as if this had happened a thousand times already.

 

"I had to go," he simply replied between greeted teeth. "I didn’t believe it would be a trap," he continued, glancing at Chanyeol who felt electrocuted by the spark of sadness that flashed in his dark orbs once before fading away.

 

"And that was stupid of you, as usual," Kyungsoo spat out, walking closer to Baekhyun while scrunching his nose at the smell. He didn’t seem to care, however, and he simply grabbed Baekhyun’s arm, inspecting him for any kid of injury and frowning harder as he finally noticed the wound on the back of his head. "Of course, it was a trap. And of course, you’d never listen even if I told you to be careful over a thousand fucking times."

 

It was almost funny to witness this scene, Baekhyun frowning and looking down to the floor like a child being scolded by his parents for having disobeyed and scrapped his knees while climbing up a tree at the park. It was something that he had never imagined, Baekhyun quietly letting someone scold him while accepting his faults and yet, Chanyeol could’t find it in himself to be amused by any of it when he was the reason why Baekhyun had ended up in this state. However, that didn’t mean that the urge to step up and defend Baekhyun wasn’t strong, on the contrary, it felt like the most natural thing to do and Chanyeol had to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from saying anything that would anger Kyungsoo when even now, Chanyeol didn’t feel too comfortable with the fact that he was close enough to baekhyun to be able to talk to him in such a familiar way. 

 

However, Chanyeol still didn’t feel as bad as he would’ve expected, there was no trace of jealousy or anger like there had been that day at the warehouse and he didn’t feel like pulling Baekhyun away from the man either. On the contrary, it almost felt familiar to stand there and watch as Kyungsoo scolded Baekhyun for a stupid thing he had done despite having been warned about it, as if this had happened a thousand times to Chanyeol too. He could almost imagine a younger version of Baekhyun standing there and being scolded for pickpocketing someone by Kyungsoo who looked as if he had that kind of authority over Baekhyun despite not seeming much older than either of them. And maybe that was something that had happened before, the scene that Chanyeol had just imagined, it wouldn’t be surprising if it was part of what he had forgotten.

 

"Chanyeol is hurt too."

 

Baekhyun’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he then noticed that he was now standing in front of him, Kyungsoo looked at them from where Baekhyun had been standing a few seconds ago. The latter was looking at Chanyeol instead of listening to Kyungsoo now and Chanyeol allowed himself to observe him for a few seconds before shaking his head.

 

"I’m okay," he simply said, glancing at Kyungsoo who never looked away from him, studying him now that he was done with Baekhyun.

 

"You’re wounded," Baekhyun muttered and the look of hesitation on his face as he brought fingers up to tug on Chanyeol’s ripped sleeve to look at the wound there sent millions of needles piercing right through his heart. There had been a few sparks of anger and irritation between them on the way here but now that they seemed to be in a safer place, none of it remained, not even on Chanyeol’s part right now. Even if things were still far from being how they usually were, before all of this had happened.

 

"The bullet only grazed my arm, it’s okay," he replied softly, hating the way Baekhyun could barely even look him in the eye despite making the worry in his features obvious to everyone.

 

He had caused this. They had both caused this and Chanyeol was tired of it, determined to fix the broken pieces of the link between them that had been so strong only a few days ago, before everything around them crumbled down. 

 

"Go take a shower and get rid of the gasoline clinging to you. It’s mostly on your clothes but it’s still dangerous to walk around like that and it might burn your skin. I’ll take care of Chanyeol," Kyungsoo said, pulling them out of their awkward and hesitant bubble.

 

Unexpectedly, Baekhyun didn’t even fight off the order that was given to him and he simply pulled away from Chanyeol with a sigh, looking up at him with a tiny smile that was filled with hesitation and exhaustion, as if Baekhyun wasn’t sure of anything anymore either.

 

"I’ll be in the shower, call me if you need anything," he said with a soft, gentle voice that warmed Chanyeol’s insides up as much as it poured salt onto the wounds all over his heart.

 

The urge to take Baekhyun into his arms and apologize, ask for explanations, and give ones of his own was stronger than ever but it wasn’t the right moment to do that. Chanyeol had to stop acting on his feelings too, he had to start using his head instead of letting his heart lead him through everything and right into mistakes.

 

"Just go, Baekhyun," Kyungsoo’s still angry voice pulled them back to reality again and Chanyeol glanced at him, noting his still furrowed bushy eyebrows. "What are you gonna do? Come and save him from my claws butt-naked and with foam in your hair?" he snorted, raising a brow when Baekhyun glared at him, completely unfazed. "I’m not gonna eat him, just go."

 

That seemed to be enough for Baekhyun who glanced at Chanyeol one last time before heading out of the living room and taking the stairs that would probably lead him to a bathroom while grumbling unintelligible things under his breath all the while and continuously glancing back at Chanyeol, as if he was scared of not finding him here once he’d come back. Chanyeol wondered if that was wishful thinking too but something told him that maybe, Baekhyun had suffered as much as he did, maybe even more than he did.

 

He sighed softly at the thought, running a hand over his face and wincing a bit as it pulled on the wound on his arm before looking at Kyungsoo who was unsurprisingly already looking at him. Chanyeol wondered what was his actual connection to Baekhyun and if he was connected to him as well, he got the weird impression that they had met before, way before all of this happened and judging by the way Kyungsoo talked to Baekhyun that way so freely in front of him, he didn’t feel an ounce of discomfort about Chanyeol’s presence. 

 

"Follow me," Kyungsoo broke the silence before Chanyeol could give in to his curiosity and ask anything, motioning to him to follow with his hand too as they headed upstairs.

 

Chanyeol trailed after him in silence, head swarming with thoughts and scenes that had unfolded only minutes ago. It felt as if a whole lifetime had passed since they had left the warehouse with Junmyeon unconscious on the floor and Chanyeol couldn’t help but wonder what happened after their departure. Had Junmyeon waken up now? Had Minseok noticed that something was wrong? Chanyeol was sure that Minseok hadn’t followed them even if he did notice a car that oddly seemed to be trailing after them earlier when they were driving. They had quickly managed to lose it though and since he didn’t see it again, Chanyeol had deemed it safe to continue driving with Baekhyun’s directions. He wondered if Minseok even knew about everything. Junmyeon had told him that they had both been part of Cobra at some point so he supposed Minseok had been with Junmyeon long enough to know everything about him but then he didn’t even know what there actually was to know. 

 

The only thing he was sure of was that Junmyeon had been manipulating him along and there was no trace of doubt left after the bullets that the elder had fired at him without any ounce of hesitation.   And yet, a small part of Chanyeol still wondered if Junmyeon was okay after the fight both with him and Baekhyun who had been much more cruel in his attacks. Maybe he shouldn’t have stopped Baekhyun, maybe they really should have left only after making sure that Junmyeon would be… He couldn’t even think about that word and he hated himself for it but it was too soon and Chanyeol needed answers before doing anything else. He needed to know exactly what kind of mess he was tangled in before doing anything else that he might regret.

 

"You can sit on the edge of the bathtub," Kyungsoo said, pulling Chanyeol out of his thoughts.

 

Only then did he realize that they had indeed reached a bathroom, one that wasn’t occupied by Baekhyun which meant that this house was big enough to contains several bathrooms. He didn’t really have the will to wonder about such trivial things when there were much more important questions he could ask the other though, but he simply settled on not asking anything at all. He was tired and his mind wasn’t entirely cleared up yet.

 

He did as told and settled on the edge of the bathtub, observing Kyungsoo who looked through the bathroom cabinet for a few seconds until he retrieved a white box that probably contained anything you’d find in a first-aid kit. Without saying a single word, he then dropped to his knees in front of Chanyeol, surprising him even more when he silently opened the box and retrieved a cotton pad along with a small bottle of disinfectant. 

 

"Take your shirt off," he quietly ordered while letting a few drops of product land on the cotton pad.

 

"It’s not that bad so I can take care of it myself, don’t bother," Chanyeol shook his head, shifting to grab the product from Kyungsoo.

 

However, the latter pulled them out of his reach and frowned.

 

"Hurry up," he simply demanded.

 

Chanyeol didn’t particularly like the tone he used on him but he was too tired to bother arguing with the other so he simply sighed and did as told, taking his shirt off with a tiny wince to make it easier for Kyungsoo to reach the wound on his arm.

 

Silence settled over them after that and Chanyeol was surprised that he didn’t feel as awkward as he probably should while Kyungsoo focused on cleaning up his wound, dabbing the cotton pad over it to clean up the blood and prevent it from getting infected with a frown of concentration on his face. It sent small jolts of pain through Chanyeol’s arms but it wasn’t bad enough for him to show any sign of it and by the way Kyungsoo was handling things, it was obvious that it wasn’t the first time he had had to clean up a wound this way. He couldn’t help but wonder how many times he had done the same thing to Baekhyun and how many times the latter had done the same thing to him as well. They seemed close.

 

"I’m surprised Junmyeon didn’t kill you or Baekhyun on the spot," Kyungsoo said after a while as he looked for bandages in the first-aid kit.

 

Chanyeol remained silent for a while, wondering how Kyungsoo had managed to come to the conclusion that Junmyeon would’ve tried killing him when he hadn’t heard Baekhyun explain things to him properly. Not that it was surprising, Kyungsoo had seemed to know a trap had been awaiting Baekhyun in that warehouse.

 

"He wanted me to kill Baekhyun with my own hands, that’s why he didn’t do anything to him. He didn’t show it but I guess he was also surprised by the fact that I chose to shoot him instead of Baekhyun. He was destabilized, we both were and that’s why all three of us are still alive," he sighed softly, finding it odd how comfortable it was to actually talk to Kyungsoo.

 

"Why did you shoot him instead of shooting Baekhyun? You called him there for that," Kyungsoo continued as he wrapped the white gauze around Chanyeol’s arm to cover up his wound.

 

He didn’t miss the accusation hidden beneath these words and it took him a few seconds to reply, stomach churning in discomfort now that Kyungsoo wasn’t asking ‘casual’ questions anymore.

 

"I remembered something about Junmyeon holding me down while telling me he’d make me watch as he turned Baekhyun into ashes. The choice made itself after that," he explained, choosing to tell the truth. Kyungsoo probably knew about him half as much as Baekhyun did so hiding things from him would be useless, especially since his instinct told him that he could be trusted.

 

"Good decision. Finally," Kyungsoo said, tone neutral and calm but weighing down heavily on Chanyeol’s chest.

 

That was enough for him to confirm the fact that Kyungsoo did know a lot about what was happening and had happened between Baekhyun and him but he still couldn’t figure out how Kyungsoo was linked to any of them. He had been the one helping Baekhyun all these years and it was highly probably that he was someone from the past he had forgotten but it was still difficult to conclude anything from the very little information he had about him.

 

"Why are you not asking?" Kyungsoo broke the silence that had settled over them once again and it wasn’t difficult for Chanyeol to understand what he was referring to.

 

"I’m tired of asking things when I know I won’t get the answers I need," he replied, words flying out of his mouth without his being able to keep them in.

 

The only indication that Kyungsoo had heard him was a small twitch of his eyebrows and a few silent seconds passed while he secured the badges around Chanyeol’s arm before finally looking up to his face and giving him his whole attention.

 

"I do think you need explanations, Chanyeol, but I shouldn’t be the one to give them to you," he finally answered, tone holding soft tinges of apology.

 

"Baekhyun never gives me the answers I ask for and truthfully, I’m tired of asking," he couldn’t help but snort, shaking his head a bit. He needed explanations but if he didn’t get them, Chanyeol wasn’t sure he was willing to continue running in the dark like this. "I’m not even sure whether I can actually trust him or not. Maybe this is even a mistake, maybe I shouldn’t even be here," he continued, exhaustion settling heavily over his body.

 

Kyungsoo sighed, shaking his head a bit. "Does this feel like a mistake?"

 

"No, it feels like the best decision I took in a while," he replied truthfully. "But I don’t think I should trust my instinct or my gut feeling anymore, that’s what got me here," he chuckled, the sound dry and void of any kind of amusement.

 

"Maybe you’re wrong, maybe you only got yourself to this point _because_ you’ve been thinking too much," Kyungsoo shrugged and it might’ve seemed nonchalant but the way he was looking at Chanyeol was oddly similar to the way he had been looking at Baekhyun earlier when he had first seen the state he was in.

 

"Are you saying all of this is entirely my fault?" he couldn’t help but ask, wanting the answer to at least that question despite knowing that a huge part of the blame should be taken by himself.

 

"No," Kyungsoo frowned, sighing a bit. "Certainly not. Baekhyun made a lot of mistakes too and he handled this situation completely wrongly despite my warnings," he continued, causing Chanyeol to look at him instead of at his clenched fists resting on his lap. "He really had no idea how to react to this whole situation and he’s just so reckless and stupid at times, he made things more difficult that they should’ve been."

 

"He really could’ve made things easier," Chanyeol couldn’t help but mutter under his breath. "I asked him a thousand times to just explain everything to me and I know I made mistakes as well, really stupid ones but all of this could’ve been easier if he just _talked_ to me properly and explained things."

 

"You have to understand him too, Chanyeol, you can’t be so selfish and focused on your own side of the story," Kyungsoo frowned and instantly, Chanyeol felt like a child being scolded, probably like Baekhyun had felt just a few minutes ago.

 

"He doesn’t help me understand him, that’s the problem," he muttered, something in him preventing him from actually arguing about this with Kyungsoo.

 

"You both are so fucking stupid, it’s giving me a headache," Kyungsoo sighed and Chanyeol could’ve almost felt offended if not for the worried look on his face. "Look, it might not look like it at all but Baekhyun just feels really guilty about all of this, especially you losing your memories."

 

"Why would he feel guilty about that?" he asked, trying his best to understand what Kyungsoo was willing to tell him.

 

However, the other only shook his head a bit. "He blames himself for everything that happened in the past and I think that’s the main reason why he made things so difficult and tried stupidly pushing the explanations he owed you as far as possible."

 

"It only made everything more complicated and I’m not sure I’m the only selfish one here, in that case," Chanyeol sighed, even more frustrated since Kyungsoo visibly refused to actually explain things to him properly.

 

"He was only scared that you’d end up hating him if you remembered everything, that’s why he tried preventing it as much as he tried making it happen," Kyungsoo explained before raising a brow. "And you’re not completely innocent either, a lot of things could’ve been prevented if you weren’t still so reckless and hot-headed."

 

"Kyungsoo, I know you’re trying to help but you’re not making things clearer at all," Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows. "Why would I hate him after remembering everything?"

 

Hearing all of that did make sense, the way Baekhyun kept asking him to remember and blaming him for forgetting while not actually explaining things to him might be explained by a fear of something but why would he be scared that Chanyeol would hate him? What was he still hiding? What could be worse than what he had already learned tonight?

 

"Baekhyun will explain everything to you tonight. Believe me, he will," Kyungsoo insisted after Chanyeol couldn’t help but let out a soft snort.

 

"I really hope so because if he doesn’t, I don’t think I’ll keep trying anymore," he said softly, avoiding the other’s gaze. It was true, Chanyeol was willing to accept his faults but this couldn’t work if he was the only one battling for it anymore and as much as the mere thought was enough to cut his breath off, he couldn’t keep running right into a mess he wouldn’t be able to get out of. It had to stop somewhere.

 

"He will," Kyungsoo repeated, voice calm and assured. "I just want you to know that even if Baekhyun is really bad at this, he genuinely loves. He’s always loved you," he continued, the corners of his lips twitching into a light smile that made him look a few years younger and was enough to sooth Chanyeol a bit.

 

"Love is not enough to keep people by your side. Or keep them alive," he added, Jongin’s smile flashing in his mind and igniting a small flame in his chest. 

 

It had been so unfair. Jongin was the only victim in this situation and it had been so unfair, Chanyeol thought as  he curled his hands into clenched fists, fingernails digging into the tender flesh of his palms. He’d deal with it later. He’d deal with that too.

 

"It was enough to keep Baekhyun alive, at least," Kyungsoo almost whispered, voice low and yet still startling Chanyeol out of his thoughts.

 

"What do you mean?" Chanyeol asked, looking at the other again as he felt something thick lodge in his throat.

 

Kyungsoo shook his head and for the first time, he didn’t look guarded or strong anymore, features suddenly covered by a thick curtain of sadness that pulled his eyebrows down into a light frown.

 

"Maybe you already know that but, until only two years ago, Baekhyun and I thought you were dead," he said, instantly causing Chanyeol to feel the same pain he had felt when Baekhyun had first revealed that to him that day over breakfast, when they had both been happy together, hidden in Chanyeol’s too small apartment. "It was… It was really difficult for us but especially for him, you were all he had ever known, you were _best friends forever,_ " Kyungsoo chuckled softly, voice a bit wobbly as if those weren’t his own but the words he had heard from a small child he had known years ago. "When we lost you, he lost everything and we ran away to stay alive but a big part of him died that day when we thought you died in that fire."

 

"The fire I talked to you about earlier," Chanyeol stated just to confirm it, words sounding choked up but not as much as Kyungsoo’s. He wasn’t just recounting a memory, he was living it in his mind and Chanyeol yearned to be able to do the same thing.

 

"That one," he nodded. "We went abroad and stayed together but… Baekhyun didn’t want to. He hated being there, he hated not being with you, he hated the fact that he was alive while you weren’t and he was still so young. You were both only fourteen when that happened and he hated it so much he tried correcting it. He tried making things fair and many times, he just tried joining you, finding you on the other side and…" Kyungsoo stopped, taking a deep breath.

 

He didn’t say it explicitly but Chanyeol understood him and pain planted its claws in his heart, sending poison down into his lungs and choking him up. Only then, did Kyungsoo’s earlier accusations of Chanyeol’s selfishness made sense to him. Only then, did he realize that the other was right, he had only been focusing on himself and maybe that was the only reason why things had turned out to be so bad. Had he paid more attention to Baekhyun, he would’ve been able to prevent all of this from happening. How could he have even thought that Baekhyun had been manipulating him all this time when the other had suffered for ten long years, carrying the burden of Chanyeol’s death for eight of those and the sorrow of being forgotten for the remaining two?

 

He hated it so much and right then and there, Chanyeol promised himself to stop acting so stupidly about everything and get a grip of himself. 

 

"But you were there for him," Chanyeol said softly when Kyungsoo remained silent for  few seconds.

 

"I was," he smiled a bit, the curve of his lips coated in sadness. "We got through it together but it was getting so bad after eight long years and Baekhyun was really on the verge of giving up on everything. But then, we found out that you were still alive and it got better after that, he poured everything into finding you and getting a revenge. That’s what kept him alive until now, Chanyeol," he said before chuckling softly, a bit more lively this time. "I know you used to call Baekhyun your ‘light’ when you were younger but when he thought you were dead, the light in him seemed to slowly grow weaker and weaker until it was on the verge of dying out. However, when we found out that you were alive, Baekhyun just shined brighter than ever and did everything he could to find you. That didn’t change when we found out that you probably suffered from memory loss."

 

Silence settled over them once Kyungsoo’s voice died down and Chanyeol took a deep breath, noticing that he had stopped breathing halfway through the other’s words. He blinked a few times, cursing himself inwardly when he could feel his eyes burning  a bit, a thin coat of water gathered in them before he blinked it away. 

 

Somehow, hearing about what Baekhyun had been through because of him was more painful than what Chanyeol had felt when he had shot Junmyeon right after the memory that had struck him in the warehouse. Baekhyun had suffered so much, much more than Chanyeol had, and yet, he never once took the time to consider Baekhyun’s feelings and only assumed things, pushed to do that by Junmyeon’s manipulative words. He had been so stupid.

 

"Why are you telling me all of that?" he asked softly, running a hand over his face in exhaustion once Kyungsoo stood up with the first-aid kit in his hands.

 

"I just want you to know that whatever Baekhyun did, all his mistakes and his stupid behavior, it wasn’t because he was manipulating you like you thought," Kyungsoo started, back to his blank and somehow wise façade. "I just want the both of you to be happy together, I know you deserve it more than anyone and I don’t want you two to lose each other again. You both need to stop running on that trail of mistakes and just hold onto each other tightly to fight together instead. I’ll be there to help you until all of us get the happy ending we deserve," he finished with a smile that carried an air of sincerity.

 

Oddly, today was the first time he had actually met Kyungsoo even if Chanyeol knew after this conversation that they had a common past and surprisingly, hearing this coming from him felt so much nicer than he would’ve expected. Despite being closer to Baekhyun and having witnessed all the hardship he had been through, Kyungsoo wasn’t just biased towards him and he tried approaching this in a neutral way, blaming both Chanyeol and Baekhyun without even actually accusing them. 

 

Maybe things were finally starting to be easier. Maybe they actually could all get out of this mess with an ending they deserved.

 

"Thank you," he whispered because that was the only thing he could tell the other at that moment, the weight of this conversation settling over him and yet not heaving down on him enough to crush him. 

 

This had helped him understand both perspectives of this situation more and hopefully, Chanyeol would be able to start behaving more accordingly despite the weight of the loss and betrayal he had been through until today.

 

"No need to thank me," Kyungsoo smiled a bit, turning to Chanyeol again once the small white box was back in the cabinet, where he had retrieved it from. "Baekhyun’s probably done showering, go find him in his bedroom, it’s the last door on this hallway. Don’t get out of there until you both decide to stop acting like stupid kids."

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help but laugh a bit at that, it was oddly accurate and as he stood up, he nodded, a new determination taking over him. It would be okay. They’d be able to deal with this. Together.

 

"I’ll try," he promised the other, smiling a bit as he stepped closer to him to head for the door.

 

However, he stopped halfway when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and he turned to Kyungsoo again, even more surprised when the other reached on his tiptoes to gently ruffle his hair with a light smile that was coated with something akin to nostalgia in the corner of his lips.

 

"You really grew up to be a tall and handsome young man," he said, looking at Chanyeol as if he was seeing a younger version of him that he had probably scolded as much as he had scolded Baekhyun in the past and Chanyeol felt something prickling in his chest, sadness, a bit of joy, and sorrow at the prospect of still not remembering much. "But you’re still as clumsy when you’re not fighting. Wash up a bit before seeing him, you don’t look so nice with dirt on your face."

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help but laugh at that, the heavy weight that had pressed down on his soul for the past few days lightening the slightest even as he was left alone to wash up in the bathroom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Despite having told Kyungsoo that he would make sure that things would be fixed that night, Chanyeol had lost that courage as soon as he was standing in front of the last door on that hallway, blankly looking at the piece of wood that separated him from Baekhyun. It was completely silent and there was no way to actually know whether Baekhyun had finished showering and was in his room or not but Chanyeol still took a few minutes to stand there and gather all his thoughts up, even preparing in his head what he was going to tell Baekhyun as soon as he’d see him.

 

Maybe it would be better to directly breach the subject. Maybe it would be easier to simply go to him and ask him to explain everything. Kyungsoo had told him that Baekhyun would explain things to him tonight and he had sounded sure of himself so he probably wasn’t wrong. Should he apologize first? Or maybe it would be better to just wait for Baekhyun to say something or apologize first. Was he even awake? Maybe he had gone to sleep right after showering, he had looked exhausted and hurt and he had also said that he hadn’t been sleeping well these days. That had reassured Chanyeol a little bit in the car because it meant that Baekhyun had been bothered by that situation as much as he was but after what Kyungsoo told him, that didn’t even matter. Baekhyun had gone through so much pain and Chanyeol hadn’t made it easier for him. Baekhyun hadn’t made it easier for him either though.

 

After almost three full minutes of silently standing there, Chanyeol finally took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He would just walk in there and demand explanations and only then would he apologize for everything that he had done and everything that he hadn’t done. He heard a muffled voice telling him to come in after a few seconds of waiting and he cleared his throat before finally pushing the door open and stepping in.

 

As soon as his gaze landed on the form curled up on the bed in the middle of the wide room, Chanyeol felt everything he had thought about mere seconds ago crumble in his head, leaving it a mess all over again. His heartbeat suddenly picked up when his gaze met Baekhyun’s, the bruised and weak muscle suddenly full of joy and energy as it seemed to pump bubbles of happiness right through Chanyeol’s whole body, spreading their clear rainbow colors into his soul and managing to somehow make it lighter. Those bubbles seemed to make it difficult to breath for him though and yet, Chanyeol was so used to the feeling of not being able to properly pull air into his lungs in the first few minutes of seeing Baekhyun that it was almost painful to know that he hadn’t felt this way in so long. He missed it. He had missed feeling this way so much, not being able to breath, not being able to take his eyes off Baekhyun, knowing that they were together, in the same room, safe and sound, knowing that he would be able to graze his fingers against Baekhyun’s cheek after only taking a few steps.

 

He had told himself to remain strong and not yield to anything anymore, he had even prepared his whole speech a few minutes ago and yet, as soon as he breathed the same air as Baekhyun, he could feel his whole body weakening and growing lighter, his thoughts tangling into an undecipherable mess again.

 

He closed the door behind him and rested his back against the cold wood, keeping some distance between Baekhyun and him to give himself the time to get a grip of his whole being. It was still so surprising, the effect Baekhyun could have on him just by sharing the same breathing space as him.

 

However, could Chanyeol really blame himself when Baekhyun was there, so beautiful, so fragile-looking, and so breathtaking, only a few steps away from him? He was sitting in the middle of his king-sized bed, the dark blue of the silky bedsheets making him look so small, like a star that had fallen off the sky and landed on the ocean, floating away carelessly while admiring the home it had left behind and beaming back at it. He was like a lone star and yet he shone brighter than any other night sky Chanyeol had ever seen in his life. His hair was still damp from the shower, his long black bangs falling over his forehead lightly, gently caressing his eyelashes and falling into his eyes as he looked up at Chanyeol, frozen, as if he had stopped breathing as soon as the latter had entered the room. Maybe Baekhyun wasn’t a star lost among the gentle waves of an ocean, maybe he was a whole clear summer-night sky instead as his eyes sparkled as if they held the brightest stars, the most expensive diamonds, and the gentlest moonbeams that danced in the spotlight created by those little sparks.

 

His skin was pale, too pale, and yet it still looked soft and unblemished, the dim light of the room making it look warm and appealing as Chanyeol’s gaze trailed over Baekhyun’s small button nose and his cheeks that seemed bonier than the last time Chanyeol had been able to caress them with a gentle swipe of his thumb. They had a little of red dusted upon them, warmth probably lingering on Baekhyun’s skin after the shower he had just taken. His lips were a bit reddened as well, chapped and his lower one was a bit swollen, as if he had been biting onto the flesh for a while, probably out of worry. Either way, he was still able to take Chanyeol’s breath away and lock it somewhere that currently seemed unreachable and not even important when all Chanyeol could think of was how beautiful Baekhyun was, the light surrounding them pouring onto him a warm glow that made him look so different than he usually did. 

 

Baekhyun was usually like a sharp icicle, cold, lethal, sparkling under the sun, and beautiful in such a way that you couldn’t dare touching it from fear of getting your skin burnt but tonight, he looked so innocent, so warm and small as he sat on a a bed that looked big enough for Baekhyun to drown amongst his bedsheets. Chanyeol’s gaze slid down a little, trailing over Baekhyun’s exposed collarbones as his shirt seemed a bit too big for him and let Chanyeol catch a glimpse of his slightly reddened skin. It didn’t look too natural, however, and maybe it was a result of the exposition of his skin to gasoline for a bit too long.

 

That thought was enough to snap Chanyeol back into reality and when his gaze slid down a bit lower again, he noted that there was a small white box in front of Baekhyun, settled on the mattress. It was the same one that Kyungsoo had used in the bathroom for him and something seemed to squeeze his heart when he caught sight of the reddened and scratched skin around Baekhyun’s wrists.

 

He had no time to linger on how Baekhyun made him feel when the other was hurt and guilt was slowly eating his insides again as he remembered what had caused those bruises on his skin.

 

"Are you okay?" he finally broke the silence, knowing that it was a stupid question but not really finding anything else to say.

 

Baekhyun seemed to be startled by his voice, as if he had been lost in his own thoughts for a while too and he nodded, avoiding Chanyeol’s gaze to look down into the box as he resumed rummaging through it.

 

"Nothing too bad," he replied as he grabbed the same product that Kyungsoo used earlier along with a cotton pad that he soaked with it. "You?"

 

Chanyeol shrugged a bit at that, not really finding it in himself to either lie or tell the truth. He simply stayed against the door for a few more silent seconds, observing Baekhyun who hissed a bit as he dabbed the product-soaked cotton pad into his bruised skin, disinfecting it. There was no trace of pain at all on his face but Chanyeol could see the way his jaw was clenched, guilt sinking deeper into his heart and pushing him to step forward and walk towards the bed. He just didn’t like watching Baekhyun taking care of himself as if he had had to do it so many times in the past already, or maybe it was also an excuse to be closer to him and dissipate the awkwardness hanging in the room. Either way, Chanyeol walked to the bed and silently climbed on it, watching as Baekhyun momentarily froze when he sensed the bed shifting since he kept his gaze fixated on his own wrists, refusing to look at Chanyeol.

 

He didn’t mind, there were too many things preventing them from acting as they usually would and Chanyeol was tired of finding someone to blame for that so he simply kept quiet and looked at Baekhyun for a few seconds, observing him, before gently taking the cotton pad away from him, their fingers brushing together and sending a shiver down Chanyeol’s spine. Baekhyun didn’t protest at all, he didn’t even look at Chanyeol, simply gazing at the latter’s hand as he started cleaning Baekhyun’s wrist with the cotton pad, gently dabbing it onto the scratches and blowing a bit of air on the tender skin to prevent it from stinging too much. He didn’t want Baekhyun to be in pain anymore and he knew that this wouldn’t be nearly enough to fix all the bruises he had stashed on Baekhyun’s soul himself but it still felt so natural to care for Baekhyun and make sure he was okay.

 

He didn’t want to be angry either anymore, not at Baekhyun, nor at himself, and he only focused on how happy he was that they had both been able to get out of the warehouse alive and hand in hand even if Chanyeol still felt as if miles were separating them despite being seated right across from each other.

 

However, that also didn’t meant that Chanyeol would let everything go so easily so after a few silent minutes during which he took care of Baekhyun’s bruises, he finally broke the uncomfortable and awkward silence again.

 

"This is your last chance to explain everything to me, Baekhyun. _Everything,_ " he repeated, forcing his voice to sound stern and blank as he kept his gaze on Baekhyun’s wrist while wrapping wrapping bandages around it. He felt the other’s breath hitching, his own lungs seeming to retract too and take in less air that usual. "I’m not even going to blame you anymore, I’m not even angry either. If you don’t explain anything to me, I’ll be gone by morning and I’ll make sure neither you nor Junmyeon will ever find me again."

 

This might’ve been something harsh to say when he owed Baekhyun an apology as well but Chanyeol was exhausted of all of this and whatever he had just said, he was sincere about it. This would be his last attempt at trying to fix things.

 

For a few seconds, Baekhyun remained silent, avoiding Chanyeol’s gaze as he let him take care of his other wrist, before he took a deep breath, his fingers shaking the slightest in Chanyeol’s hold. Why was it so difficult for him to simply explain everything?

 

"What do you remember exactly?" he finally asked, voice low and soft enough that had it not been completely silent in the room, Chanyeol might have missed his words. 

 

"That fire I already talked to you about," he explained, carefully dabbing the product-soaked cotton onto the other’s skin. "I was outside a house that was in flames with Junmyeon and Sehun. There were a few other men but I don’t remember them, they held me and forced me to watch as you’d turn into ashes. Those were Junmyeon’s words, at least," he sighed, the mere act of pronouncing the elder’s name sending a jolt of pain through his whole body, spreading inside him like a tiny and yet lethal snake traveling through his veins.

 

He had been stupid, so stupid. He would fix it.

 

"Not everything then," he heard Baekhyun say and when he finally had the courage to look at the other’s face, Chanyeol felt his heart drowning in the ocean of sadness he could see in Baekhyun’s dark orbs.

 

"No," he shook his head, catching himself gently drawing a circle on Baekhyun’s wrist with his thumb. He didn’t want him to look so sad, it felt worse than anything Chanyeol could’ve ever felt and the urge to simply take Baekhyun into his arms and apologize for everything was strong but Chanyeol knew that wouldn’t be the smartest thing to do right now. "Now that I think about it, it does make sense. Before dying, Jongin told me that Junmyeon used to be a member of Cobra but… He said he wanted to be King and I don’t really understand. What’s the link between Cobra and us? Why is Sehun the leader of Cobra if he only used to work for Junmyeon? Why did Junmyeon make me watch him burn a house you were in down while jubilating but you’re still alive? I don’t understand, Baekhyun. I really don’t and it’s really driving me crazy so could you _please_ just-"

 

He abruptly cut himself off when a gentle and soothing warmth suddenly dipped into his soul, seeping into him through the palm that Baekhyun had just pressed against his cheek, his thumb gently swiping over Chanyeol’s skin in a tiny circular motion. 

 

"It’s okay, Chanyeol-ah," he whispered gently, the corners of his lips tugged up into the tiniest smile Chanyeol had ever seen and yet, it seemed to shine the biggest ray of light into his life, uncurling the dark mess of thoughts that had gathered in his head. "I’ll explain everything from the start," he continued, nodding a bit to himself as his hand dropped from Chanyeol’s cheek and the latter watched as Baekhyun took a deep breath before he focused on bandaging the other’s wrist again, giving him a few seconds. "Do you remember what I told you about the man who took us in when we were younger?"

 

"The one you pickpocketed," Chanyeol hummed, recalling it almost immediately. "You said he was the leader of a gang and that he took us in after I tried fighting him and his men off."

 

"Yeah, him," Baekhyun smiled a bit wider, as if the prospect of Chanyeol remembering it brought him joy. It probably did. "His name was Do Seungsoo, he was the leader of Cobra at that time."

 

It shouldn’t really be surprising, Chanyeol should’ve figured it out and maybe after tonight, he had expected hearing it and yet, he still froze at those words. Junmyeon had said wanting to be King in his memory, was that what he meant? They had been taken in when they were twelve by the former leader of Cobra and yet, Sehun was at the head of the crime group today and Chanyeol had had no ties to it until a few months ago. It was almost ironical, the way Chanyeol had been so close to the truth all this time without ever having any clue about it.

 

However, it wan’t surprising. Junmyeon had never talked to him about Cobra, not too much at least and Chanyeol knew that they weren’t even allies until a year ago. Everything he knew about Cobra, Jongin had been the one to tell him. Suddenly, it made more sense. It made so much sense. Jongin’s panic that day at the warehouse, the way he had been about to tell him something about Junmyeon, how he had started by saying the elder used to be a member of Cobra but had been cut off by a bullet. Had he been trying to tell Chanyeol that he used to be a member of Cobra too? He could feel anger shaking in his core at how unfair this whole situation had been for his best friend, fire quickly spreading into his veins.

 

"Chanyeol?" he heard Baekhyun ask and when he looked at him, he had a worried expression on his face.

 

"I’m okay," he said, taking a deep breath in even if he could feel his whole body tensing up to keep the fire burning in the pit of his stomach under control. "Turn around," he simply said once he was done with Baekhyun’s wrists, sighing when the latter gave him a confused look before grabbing his shoulders to turn him around himself. "Your head," he explained.

 

That seemed to be enough for Baekhyun who relaxed, his back facing Chanyeol who bit his lower lip at the sight that greeted him, a bit of blood seemingly still clinging to the roots of Baekhyun’s hair since he probably hadn’t been able to clean the bruise properly because of the pain.

 

"So years ago, we were both members of Cobra and that Seungsoo taught us everything we know," he said as he started taking care of the small wound. Then, a thought lighted up in his mind. "Is he related to Kyungsoo? His brother?"

 

"Yeah, they were brothers," he heard Baekhyun say. It was easier not to have to manage his expression since the other couldn’t see him anymore. "How did you know?"

 

"I figured from the names," he shrugged, even if he still couldn’t exactly say he knew how Kyungsoo had ended up here with Baekhyun. "And when we were downstairs he was scolding you and, I don’t know, I just had the impression of having seen that scene before. It wasn’t exactly an actual memory but just a hunch, I thought that he probably had scolded you when you were younger for pickpocketing, for example."

 

"You’re right, it happened before. The mind’s such a shitty and weird thing," Baekhyun chuckled quietly, his shoulders shaking a bit in such an endearing way that Chanyeol felt his lips twitching up a bit. "Anyway, Seungsoo took us in because he thought we had the potential to become great fighters and that we could eventually contribute to Cobra’s growth."

 

"I guess Cobra wasn’t as big as it is now then," Chanyeol commented as he cleaned up the bruise on Baekhyun’s head.

 

"No, at that time it was a really small gang. Seungsoo had founded it on his own with Kyungsoo and it was still small but it was slowly growing to be influential around the city, gaining both territories and enemies. It really picked up after we joined it, somehow, even if we didn’t do much since we were only twelve at that time and Seungsoo just taught us how to properly fight and take part in gang activities but didn’t actually use us."

 

"What about Kyungsoo? Were we close to him? Or at least, was I?" he asked since Kyungsoo had seemed incredibly comfortable around him and Chanyeol had somehow felt the same thing despite usually being wary of strangers.

 

"Kyungsoo was part of it too but he never had too much interest in Cobra, he never got involved much. At least not directly, he still helped Seungsoo when needed and attended meetings and stuff but he was never on the field. Seungsoo had always wanted him to be something like the heir of Cobra since he was his younger brother and Cobra was really starting to become a big deal in the two years we spent with them but Kyungsoo didn’t want to, he wasn’t interested in that so he just was content with helping Seungsoo from behind the screen of his computer. Seungsoo never forced him either."

 

It felt a bit weird to finally get the whole story and somehow, Chanyeol felt as if Baekhyun was just recounting him a random story he had heard from a random drunkard in a random bar but by the way his heartbeat was steadily increasing with each words leaving Baekhyun’s mouth, Chanyeol knew that it was much more complicated than that. That was the story of his _life,_ of the past that he had forgotten and that he had been after for so long, it almost felt unreal. Baekhyun had started from the very beginning of the story and it made sense, there was nothing in Chanyeol that pushed him to intervene and accuse the other of lying because he just _knew_ that whatever Baekhyun was saying was true. He had no reason to lie to Chanyeol anyway, the latter knew it well now.

 

However, it was almost scary, maybe a bit upsetting to see that Baekhyun’s shoulders were all tensed up as he spoke to Chanyeol, as if even now, he was still hesitating in telling him the whole story. Chanyeol didn’t want to think about it, though, he didn’t want to care about it. He needed to know everything and he wasn’t going to stop Baekhyun just because it pinched his heart to see him like this.

 

"So Kyungsoo was a hacker or at least something similar to that?" he asked, a small flame of pain igniting in his heart. Jongin had always loved helping from behind the screen of his computer too. That was what costed him his life. "It makes sense now, the way no one could find anything about you anywhere and how it was impossible to contact you or track your number at first."

 

"Kyungsoo’s really good, both at hiding us and erasing my past mistakes from everywhere," Baekhyun chuckled softly, more genuinely now. "I think he took personal pleasure in making sure not to leave a single trace about me anywhere to annoy Junmyeon."

 

Somehow, it wasn’t difficult to imagine Kyungsoo laughing while looking at the screen of his computer and getting rid of any evidence about Baekhyun’s existence. It was almost amusing but Chanyeol couldn’t find it in himself to laugh at the moment.

 

"What about Junmyeon?" he asked, almost forcing himself to pronounce that name. It still stung a bit, the betrayal, but not as much as the anger and the disgust.

 

Baekhyun fell silent at that and a few seconds passed before he moved a bit to turn around and face Chanyeol again. The latter had been done fixing up the last bruise he had to take care of on the back of Baekhyun’s head right before asking that question and he had waited for Baekhyun to turn around on his own but he hadn’t been expecting the expression on Baekhyun’s face when he faced him. It was something like sadness with an apology dusted in the droopy corners of his eyes as he drowned his gaze into Chanyeol’s. The latter felt warm fingers take a hold of his and he glanced down to see Baekhyun lacing their hands together, as if he knew how painful it was for Chanyeol to ask that.

 

And it was almost ridiculous, the way after all this time and after what had happened only an hour ago, Baekhyun was still willing to take Chanyeol’s hand and comfort him without the latter even having to say that he needed a warm hand to hold his while going through this. However, he didn’t say anything and simply squeezed Baekhyun’s hands back because despite telling himself not to be weak a few minutes ago, it felt like the right to do. Or maybe he had just been craving to properly hold Baekhyun’s hands in his for such a long time. Either way, the other gave him a small, gentle smile that caressed Chanyeol’s soul like the soothing feathers of an angel’s wings.

 

However, none of them were angels, far form that.

 

"Junmyeon was a member of Cobra too, he went by another name at that time. He was called Suho and no one really knew his real name besides Seungsoo and Kyungsoo," Baekhyun replied with a shrug.

 

"He didn’t tell me that, he only told me he used to be a member of Cobra."

 

"Maybe he didn’t tell you his nickname because he didn’t want you to find something linked to it," Baekhyun shrugged, frowning as if the mere mention of Junmyeon was enough to disgust him. "Junmyeon was one of the closest people to Seungsoo, he was even what we could call his righthand man and they worked together to bring Cobra up to a higher level in the two years we were there. Minseok used to be a part of it too, he was always there, in Junmyeon’s shadow while Junmyeon was always there, in Seungsoo’s," Baekhyun said with that far away look he always had whenever he talked about the past. However, it was worse this time, he actually looked like he was having a hard time talking about it, as if he was recounting a nightmare and for a spare second, Chanyeol wondered if that was also one of the reasons why Baekhyun had always been so reluctant to explain things to him. Maybe it was just very painful.

 

"The three of them were really close then," Chanyeol commented, having a hard time actually imagining Junmyeon working under someone else. He had always looked as if he was born to be a leader, one that would lead everyone on a path to success that was scattered with blood and the lifeless bodies of his enemies.

 

"They were," Baekhyun sighed and Chanyeol unconsciously rubbed his thumb over the skin of his hand in a gentle motion, wanting to comfort him. "They all took care of us and taught us how to properly fight, paying a lot of attention to us and especially to you since you were far better than me at fighting at that time. Seungsoo personally asked Junmyeon to take care of your training."

 

"I once talked to you about a memory where we were training together and a man was there to call you out on your difficulties," he suddenly cut the other off, remembering that small part. "Was it Junmyeon?" he asked, heart pounding in his chest as he waited for the reply.

 

All this time, he could’ve known. All this time, he had been so close to his past and it had been purposely hidden from him. If only he could remember, if only his stupid mind had fixed itself years ago.

 

"Maybe, I can’t know for sure since sometimes Minseok trained us too along with Seungsoo himself but it’s likely to be Junmyeon since he never really liked me," he snorted, shaking his head. "He tried not to show it to Seungsoo too much but he didn’t really like you either actually," he continued, causing Chanyeol to frown a bit. If Junmyeon never really liked him then why had he taken him in and raised him for ten whole years while hiding the truth from him? He itched to ask but he knew that Baekhyun would get there eventually so he held himself back. "He always thought that Seungsoo was too soft and that it was a bad idea to take us in, he tried protesting to his decision many times. Especially after Seungsoo decided to make you his heir."

 

Everything until then had been kind of easy to take in, everything did make sense but Chanyeol hadn’t expected to hear that and he looked at Baekhyun for a few blanks seconds, eyes widening a bit.

 

"He made me his heir? For Cobra?" he asked, surprise filling him up even more when Baekhyun nodded. "Why?" It didn’t make sense. Seungsoo had taken them in from the streets, they were complete strangers and there was no reason for him to make Chanyeol his heir instead of forcing Kyungsoo, his real brother, to take over him one day instead.

 

"You looked exactly like this when you asked him why after he announced it to us a year after taking us in," Baekhyun chuckled softly, the crystal sound of his laughter materializing into butterflies in the air between them, their wings gently ticking Chanyeol’s heart as they landed right onto his chest, and he kept the sound there, nestled in him. "You were really good Chanyeol, even then. You were just a child and already in the streets, when we had no one, you managed to keep us alive and once Seungsoo took us in and taught you how to properly fight, you got even better. You were still so young but already, you handled a gun better than most of his other men and you knew how to properly land a punch and fight mercilessly."

 

"He decided to do that just because I was good at fighting?" he asked incredulously, finding it hard to believe.

 

"Not really," Baekhyun shrugged, a fond smile on his lips. "I do think Junmyeon was right about Seungsoo being a bit too soft around the edges. You reminded him of himself, he had no one but his brother either and he managed to take care of Kyungsoo his whole life up until he founded Cobra. Maybe he also took both of us in because we reminded him of Kyungsoo and him. He was rather set on you being his heir and his closest man since Kyungsoo wasn’t interested in it."

 

"I was so young though," Chanyeol mumbled, trying to take everything in. He remembered Junmyeon’s words about wanting to be King. Had all of this happened because of jealousy and greed? Junmyeon had always been a slave of money and power but Chanyeol had never thought he would stoop down so low. However, he now knew that he had never actually known Junmyeon despite having spent ten years by his side. The thought hurt a bit but there was nothing to do about it.

 

"You were but look at you now, you’re the best sniper this city has to offer and Seungsoo saw that coming," Baekhyun smiled softly, his fingers gently squeezing Chanyeol’s as their gaze locked and the latter found himself wanting to never look away from those dark windows that let rays of adoration and fondness peek from behind their sparkly surface. Then, mirth slowly gathered in those beautiful orbs and it was softer than usual but Chanyeol’s breath still hitched a little bit. "Of course, he probably didn’t know that I’d be the only one able to kick his little heir’s ass one day."

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking his head a bit even as he found it fascinating how Baekhyun could make him laugh even in the worst situations. 

 

"Is that why you said that if we were to repeat the past, we’d join him again without hesitating?" he then asked, remembering what Baekhyun had told him what felt like a lifetime ago when they were still high on happiness and he had been holding a bracelet he had stolen from an old lady’s wrist without any difficulty. "Because he’d make us powerful?"

 

"Not really," Baekhyun shook his head, gaze falling away from Chanyeol’s and clouding with thick swirls of sadness that Chanyeol managed to grasp with his own gaze even if Baekhyun tried hiding them away. "Seungsoo was just really kind. He was a feared member of the mafia, the leader of an uprising gang but he was really kind and fair. As kind and fair as one could be in this field of work at least. He gave us a roof, a real family, and took care of us as if we were his real children or his younger and inexperienced brothers," he chuckled softly at that and Chanyeol could see in the way his eyes were sparkling that whatever Baekhyun was saying, it was all true and something that he would never ever forget. Contrary to Chanyeol who still felt that pang hit his heart at the thought. "He appreciated us and we both loved him dearly as well, he made sure to take care of us without putting us into danger even if I probably didn’t make it easy for him. It was a bit difficult to adjust to that new lifestyle and the long training hours but we managed to, eventually. You adapted to it much easier than I did, though, and he paid particular attention to you since he knew you’d become someone big one day. Unfortunately, he’s not here to witness it."

 

"What happened?" he asked when Baekhyun fell silent for a few seconds. He made sure to squeeze the other’s hands in reassurance, almost wanting to stop him and tell him he didn't need to know after seeing the pained expression his beautiful features were tainted by. However, he needed to know.

 

"He was kind, Chanyeol, he was way too kind and trusting of his closest allies and that’s exactly what cost him his life," he started softly, voice darkening a bit as his hold on Chanyeol’s hands tightened, as if he was trying to control an outburst. Chanyeol felt something similar, he knew nothing about Seungsoo, he didn’t even remember what he looked like and yet, he could feel his heart ripping apart as Baekhyun recounted him their story together. It had been so unfair, everything had been so unfair. "Cobra was slowly starting to grow and take over the whole city with its many branches despite remaining way more fair than the other gangs it crushed and Seungsoo was gaining power, especially once he was assured that if something were to happen to him, he’d finally have someone to leave Cobra in the hands of," he explained, lips twitching a bit as he smiled at Chanyeol who simply listened, heart beating way too fast against his ribcage. "He couldn’t see the jealousy it ignited in others and especially in Junmyeon who had always thought he would be the one to take over one day when Seungsoo would die or be tired of this life," he spat out, hatred instantly glowing in his words as soon as started talking about Junmyeon. "We were unexpected and a threat to him, you were basically snatching his spot away and he hated it. He was ready to do anything to make sure he would be the most powerful one at the end and I tried understanding him, Chanyeol, I really did. He’s been there since the start, by Seungsoo’s side, he contributed so much to Cobra’s growth and it might not have been so powerful if not for his help but he wasn’t the leader, he didn’t work the hardest for it, Seungsoo did. Kyungsoo did as well and most of the time, they were both busy trying to contain Junmyeon’s sometimes reckless advice on what deal to choose and which enemy to take out. He probably found it unfair how he had worked so hard for Cobra but _you_ would be the one to inherit all of it once the time would come."

 

"What did he do?" Chanyeol asked, words released in a shaky breath. It was so difficult to hear this from Baekhyun, it was so painful to hear the way Junmyeon used to think about him, maybe that was even still the way he viewed Chanyeol. 

 

They had been together for so many years, Junmyeon had been someone to look up to, someone Chanyeol had worked hard to make proud of himself and yet, Baekhyun was shattering that image with the cold and harsh force of the truth. He had always thought that Baekhyun had been a mirage after falling for Junmyeon’s tricks but now he knew who the real mirage was. Junmyeon was nothing but a mirage, a nightmare dressed like a comforting dream that would pull you to what you thought would be the most beautiful and colorful garden you’d ever see only to push you off the edge of a cliff once you’d reach his trap, his victorious laughter accompanying you all the way down your descent to hell.

 

And after everything that had happened he had thought Baekhyun was a garden full of rotten but still beautiful roses whose thorns were the only thing left for you to collect once you’d step into it with the thought of reaching a promised land of beauty and purity.

 

He had been wrong, so wrong.

 

"Junmyeon was also young at that time, he was only twenty years old and he was greedy for power, already tired of being in the shadow of a leader instead of being the one seated on the throne. He gathered his own men behind Seungsoo’s back and crafted a plan to quench his thirst for power while none of us had any idea about it since he has always been really good at hiding behind a goodnatured mask and Seungsoo trusted him enough to never ever doubt him at all," Baekhyun started, gaze lost somewhere on Chanyeol’s chest, empty and blank as if he wasn’t looking at Chanyeol but seeing through him, lost in the memory unfolding in his own mind. He was probably reliving something he wanted to forget and Chanyeol could feel the other’s pain in his own chest, that thick, dark, and unreadable load of pain Baekhyun had carried on his own shoulders for ten whole years. 

 

They still had so many things to talk about, apologies to make to fix whatever was between them, and explanations to give but Chanyeol still didn’t like putting Baekhyun through this even if finally listening to his explanations felt like the painful slow burn of a fire he couldn’t free himself of. Despite everything, he gathered Baekhyun’s hands in his, cupping them and embracing them with his own bigger hands to show the other that no matter what had happened in the past or what would happen starting from now on, he would always be there to shield Baekhyun from the pain and the danger that seemed to never leave them alone. Baekhyun didn’t have to carry everything on his own anymore and it seemed that the latter was aware of it as that single act was enough to call for his attention, his gaze meeting Chanyeol’s and staying there, as if he felt protected by the endless oceans of love and familiarity comfort offered to him. 

 

He took a deep breath and continued.

 

"Seungsoo had never doubted it and that’s why he hadn’t been able to do anything when one day, Junmyeon entered his office accompanied by Minseok. All it took was a single bullet, Chanyeol. Seungsoo was gone with a single bullet because he had made the mistake of trusting the person he had thought would always be by his side and I wasn’t there to witness it but I spent hundreds of  nights seeing that scene in my sleep, the look on his face when Junmyeon pulled the trigger without hesitating, the words he had probably told him to convince him of not doing it… Even now, it still haunts me, the fact that he lost his life just because he wanted to save two little boys who had no one but themselves and Fate to cruelly throw them around," he said, voice so quiet, wobbly with the tears that Chanyeol could see glistening in his eyes along with the flashes of the scene he probably played in his mind, crafted by his own imagination but probably truer than it should be. "Kyungsoo saw it coming though, he had managed to intercept messages exchanged between Junmyeon and someone called Sehun an hour before they murdered his brother. It had been too late, however, and he hadn’t been able to prevent it from happening, they were already in Seungsoo’s office by the time he reached the mansion we all lived in together. He probably should’ve went to see Seungsoo first, maybe he would’ve been able to prevent it from happening, if he had been quick enough, maybe he would’ve been able to shoot Junmyeon first before the latter shot Seungsoo, but he didn’t. He barged in our room first, we were just there, watching a movie like normal fourteen-year-olds should and he threw the door open, eyes wide and tainted with fear. He was running around the room, he simply grabbed us and pulled us out of the house and as he shoved us into the car parked at the back of the mansion, we heard a gunshot."

 

"Why?" Chanyeol managed to ask through the heavy lump gathered in his throat, voice hoarse with an emotion that he felt far more than he would’ve expected. He could almost see the scene playing in his mind despite not remembering it. "Why did he save us instead of saving Seungsoo?"

 

"I asked him the same thing weeks after it happened," Baekhyun chuckled, empty, ugly, and dripping with the pain that Chanyeol could feel in his own veins. "He said that a few days before it happened, Seungsoo had told him that if something were to ever happen to him, Kyungsoo had to protect us first and make sure we were safe, that we should be Kyungsoo’s priority under any circumstance. That got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, Seungsoo knew about it. Maybe he had suspected it would happen but had no proof and he wasn’t the kind of man who’d act on something without having the proof if it. I hated him so much for that because he was just too damn kind for the world we were all locked up in and maybe, he had let it happen because he knew that Kyungsoo would be there to save us, maybe he had tried distracting Minseok and Junmyeon enough to leave us the time to find somewhere we would be safe in," Baekhyun said, words rushed and coated with emotion, his eyes avoiding Chanyeol’s once again, as if he hated having to be seen this way. His eyes were still drowning in a pool of sadness and hatred, bloodshot and wide open as he tried his hardest not to let his drops of weakness fall because this was Baekhyun and under any circumstance, he would remain strong and he wouldn’t allow himself to look weak.

 

However, Chanyeol let go of his hands with one of his and brought it up to the other’s face instead, thumb gently caressing the apple of his cheek. Baekhyun allowed himself to close his eyes and Chanyeol felt himself drowning as a single drop of pain slid down his cheek, followed by another, and another. He gathered it with his thumb, wiping those tears away and wishing with every ounce of his being that he could erase Baekhyun’s pain as easily, that he could absorb it all and make it his to finally let the other rest and be at ease.

 

He remained silent, not finding it in himself to say anything when he could feel his eyes burning, tears yearning to follow the same bath down Baekhyun’s took, pain desiring to meet Baekhyun’s and become one. Because they shared that pain, they should share it but Baekhyun had never allowed him to even catch a glimpse of it and now, Chanyeol was hit by the whole of it. He didn’t mind though, it was only fair and he wasn’t suffering as much as Baekhyun who remembered every single second of that damned day. As if sensing Chanyeol’s pain, Baekhyun brought one hand up to rest it against Chanyeol’s hand on his cheek. It would be okay. They were together.

 

"Kyungsoo drove off without hesitating, without even glancing back at the house his brother’s life had been taken in, and he simply brought us in one of his own safe houses. We were to leave right away but he first wanted to inform us about everything and we couldn’t leave and be safe when Junmyeon and his men were probably already looking for us. He could’ve hated us because when I think about it, it was our fault that Seungsoo died," Baekhyun said, voicing Chanyeol’s thoughts out loud after he had calmed down a little. "But he didn’t, he brought us somewhere safe and we were supposed to leave with him, go to America until things would settle down a bit but we couldn’t." Baekhyun stopped, faltering a bit after this and glancing at Chanyeol once before looking away, his hand dropping from his. 

 

"What happened?" Chanyeol asked again, gently urging him to speak and confused by the way Baekhyun took his other hand away from his as well, breaking any kind of contact between them before speaking again.

 

"We were safe in that house Kyungsoo brought us in and we only stayed there for a few hours before we had to board a plane. Kyungsoo was only eighteen at that time but maybe he had sensed that things were about to happen, he told me that he had warned Seungsoo many times about people betraying him, that he hadn’t thought Junmyeon would be the one to do it but that he knew it would happen at some point. He was calm though, he only focused on his brother’s last will and he was ready to do anything to keep us alive but he couldn’t, because Junmyeon found us before we even managed to leave the house. He got a hold of you while you were outside and we were inside, we were only alarmed by a gunshot and then the house suddenly started taking fire," he said, words once again dripping with panic as if he was remembering that scene so vividly and could still feel the heat of the flames against his skin. "We managed to sneak out of the house at the last minute and Kyungsoo dragged me away with difficulty because I didn’t want to leave without you but Junmyeon had gotten a hold of you and we heard a gunshot, we thought that he killed you. I wanted to stay, I wanted to die there with you but Kyungsoo had sworn to his brother to keep us safe and I was the one left but he still couldn’t leave me there even if I wished for so many years afterwards that he had."

 

And it was so familiar, painfully familiar to what Chanyeol had felt in the memory of the fire when men were holding him down and he had been watching the house quickly getting engulfed by flames, thinking that Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were inside, consumed by fire as he screamed at Junmyeon to let him die there, with Baekhyun. He could still feel it, the heat of the flames. He knew Baekhyun could feel it too.

 

"I thought you were dying in that fire," he found the strength to say, almost laughing at how cruel Junmyeon had been, at how disgusting and heartless Fate had been and still was with them.

 

"Junmyeon probably thought so too, that’s why he made you watch," Baekhyun said and hatred inflamed in Chanyeol’s veins all at once. "I had no idea about that part, we both thought you really were dead. We stayed in America until we found out that you were alive two years ago, he really did a good job at erasing any trace of you."

 

"Why didn’t he just kill me?" Chanyeol couldn’t help but ask because it didn’t make sense but he now knew that Junmyeon was heartless enough to simply keep him alive to remind himself of his victory.

 

"I don’t know," Baekhyun sighed and he closed his eyes for a few seconds, seemingly exhausted now that he had unfolded the truth in front of Chanyeol who felt it wrap around his neck and squeeze, making it difficult for him to breath. He had a hard time realizing that whatever he had just heard was true, it was his story, _his past._ "I guess he decided to keep you after realizing you lost your memories, maybe you woke up right when he was about to kill you. He probably had you beaten up enough for you to hit your head somewhere and lose your memories once you woke up. Maybe he knew that you were really good and that with the fact that you didn’t remember anything, he could shape you into a weapon he could use again and again. Maybe he kept you out of a sadistic pleasure."

 

"That wouldn’t be hard to believe," he spat out, hands curling into shaky fists, fingernails digging into his palms.

 

"The irony is that he probably doesn’t hate you that much anymore, from what I gathered. That psycho probably developed sick and twisted feelings for you along the years, he had the fucking nerve to tell me you belonged to him earlier," Baekhyun winced, disgust filling his features as Chanyeol saw him shivering. "Maybe that’s also why he kept you for so long, besides the fact that you were a great asset for him."

 

He remembered what had happened a few days ago, how Junmyeon had been behaving differently with him that time he had been back from the park. He had thought that it was all a work of his imagination but Junmyeon had really cupped his cheek and had been about to kiss him before retracting immediately when Chanyeol pulled away. He had been used all this time. He had been lied to all this time. He had been so blind and stupid. Junmyeon had used him and the sole thought was enough to cut his breath off when all this time, Junmyeon had been so important to him, important enough for Chanyeol to stupidly choose believing him instead of Baekhyun. Maybe it didn’t hurt as much as what he had felt when thinking that Baekhyun had betrayed him but it was still close enough.

 

He felt nausea churning in his stomach and he changed the topic a little bit, asking yet another one of his important questions.

 

"If Junmyeon managed to kill Seungsoo and even thought that Kyungsoo, you, and I wouldn’t be obstacles anymore, then why isn’t he at the head of Cobra right now? Why is it Sehun?"

 

"Simply put, Junmyeon is a coward," Baekhyun sighed. "After Seungsoo’s death, people still weren’t sure about what had happened to him, who had killed him, but it didn’t matter, every rotten soul had suddenly resurfaced in all the higher-ups and Junmyeon used that to his advantage. There was literally a war inside of Cobra after the leader’s death, half of the members mourned Seungsoo and the other half immediately tried jumping on the occasion to take over him. Junmyeon didn’t want to be part of that but he didn’t want people to know that he was the culprit either so he simply drove everyone to kill each other after announcing that he’d leave Cobra with Minseok because he couldn’t bear staying there after Seungsoo’s death. It made sense to everyone because they all knew how close they were and since Seungsoo was deemed a ‘soft’ leader, people thought Junmyeon wouldn’t be different."

 

"But wouldn’t he have more power if he stayed at the head of Cobra? That’s why he killed everyone," Chanyeol noted, finding the elder’s reasoning twisted and yet not even that much surprising after everything he had heard right before.

 

"It would’ve been dangerous for him, half of Cobra had been desperately looking for the culprit and Junmyeon was scared for his own life, I guess," Baekhyun snorted softly, shaking his head. "Sehun was completely unknown to Cobra and he was Junmyeon’s closest ally after Minseok so he simply put him at the head of Cobra after some difficulties, Sehun almost lost his life dozens of times while trying to keep everyone under his control. Everyone also knew that he isn’t the actual leader simply the new leader’s spokesperson but after a while, most people started considering him as the leader and it benefitted Junmyeon who was safe outside of it all while still controlling Cobra as he wanted. It had been difficult for Cobra to remain at the top after Seungsoo’s death, no one wanted to make deals with them when their leaders had just been killed and they were weakened by internal divisions. I think if Junmyeon had announced himself as the culprit, Cobra would’ve probably sunk right away. Loyalty was still important at that time, surprisingly, and Seungsoo had been important enough for people not to want to associate with someone who had betrayed him at first. Having an outsider take the blame was easier for people because at least, they didn’t think of themselves as accomplices of Seungsoo’s death, they could simply easily obey to Sehun while giving the excuse of it being nothing but business."

 

"Junmyeon chose the easy way," Chanyeol mumbled through gritted teeth, hating the way Junmyeon had caused everyone so much pain and yet had been able to get away with all of it without a single scratch for so many years.

 

"He did, unfortunately. Sehun still receives death threats and his close ones are still encountering danger even today by Seungsoo’s old supporters and other greedy people. Junmyeon’s simply reigning over it all from afar, in his own little safe assassin clan. Sehun’s just a puppet, maybe a royal one but he’s still a puppet."

 

"It doesn’t make sense for him to keep going like this though, shouldn’t he actually take over at one point?" he asked.

 

"He should. He will," Baekhyun sighed but Chanyeol knew it wasn’t out of exhaustion or anything else but irritation and anger towards the man who had destroyed their life. "We found out two years ago that he was planning to completely take over Cobra soon, that’s why we got involved again. Kyungsoo wanted to avenge his brother and I wanted to avenge you so we started working on it and that’s how we found out that you were alive."

 

"That’s why Venom’s been more involved with Cobra lately," he thought out loud, everything now making sense in his head.

 

"Exactly. Actually, he even founded Venom because of Cobra," Baekhyun added, catching Chanyeol’s attention again. "Cobra didn’t get involved in anything involving assassins, Seungsoo wanted to at least keep his business clean in that way and Junmyeon really hated that because he knew there was a lot of money in that field. Haven’t you noticed that even today, Cobra doesn’t get directly involved in murders unless necessary or doesn’t have a few actual assassins in its hands? That’s because Junmyeon founded Venom and he was planning to merge Cobra and Venom to make it look like it was to directly deal with that problem in Cobra and make his taking over natural with Sehun retiring from the business."

 

"Venom and Cobra. Venom directly drips from Cobra, just like Junmyeon did," he mumbled before laughing at the absurdity of all of this. "That bastard."

 

For so many years, the truth had been so close to him, he had been surrounded by it and yet he had been stupidly unaware of it. He felt so stupid, so wronged, and so _used._

 

He could feel Baekhyun looking at him but he didn’t dare looking back at him when his hands were shaking like leaves giving away a last shiver before being consumed by the fire that would engulf the whole forest they had been residing in. He could feel it, the heat of the flames, the crackling of his soul as it was being burned by it, the pain of his nails digging into the flesh of his palm and opening crescent shaped slits on the tender skin.

 

He had been part of such a sick maze all this time and no one had been there to show him the exit, no one had been there to take him by the hand and guide him out of it, on the contrary, Junmyeon had always been there to make sure he would always stay locked between those stifling walls, keeping him there with sad smiles and tender words. He had been so stupid and he hated it so much. He had been so blind, believing everyone’s words and hurting those who didn’t deserve it, even himself. He had lost Jongin because of this sick thirst for power and that lethal greed nurtured by Junmyeon. Junmyeon who had always been the man he had looked up to, the one who had always taken care of Chanyeol, who had taught him everything, and the one who had destroyed his life and hidden it away from him. He could feel each of his thoughts slicing through his heart like a well-sharpened knife held by no one else but Junmyeon.

 

He had been so blind all this time and he should’ve tried harder. He should’ve went after his past instead of listening to Junmyeon telling him that his past didn't matter, that he was part of their family now and that they would never ask him to leave. A memory that would’ve ignited a warm and soothing fire in his heart only a few hours ago was now consuming him like the flames of a wildfire thirsty of blood. He would make him pay. For everything, for lying to him, for manipulating him, for taking advantage of him, for everything he had done. He should’ve just ended him in the warehouse earlier when he had the occasion to. However, he hadn’t been able to do it, stupid doubts still lingering in his mind at that time even if as he thought back on it, nothing but regret filled Chanyeol up. None of it remained now though, and he knew that the next time he’d see Junmyeon, it would be the last. He would do it, for every ounce of pain the other had mercilessly sprinkled into his life until now.

 

He had still so many questions, so many things to ask, about Jongin’s death, about all the lies Junmyeon had told him, about Kyungsoo, and about Seungsoo and yet, with a single glance at Baekhyun who had been avoiding looking at him for a few minutes now, only one thing could leave Chanyeol’s mouth, words carrying a tinge of sadness that echoed deeply in the silent room.

 

"Why couldn’t you just have told me everything from the start, Baekhyun? Why?" he asked, pleaded to know the answer because it would’ve been so easy, they would’ve been safer if only they had both been honest from the start. He didn’t want to blame Baekhyun, he didn’t want to feel angry, and yet, he couldn’t help it when things could’ve been so much easier if only the other hadn’t hidden everything from him despite being asked for the truth so many times.

 

With that single question, Baekhyun finally looked at him again and Chanyeol found himself hit by a deep and cold feeling of apprehension as soon as he felt his soul trashing around, lost in the heavy swirls of guilt locked in Baekhyun’s dark orbs.

 

"Because it was my fault, Chanyeol," he replied, voice barely audible and yet freezing Chanyeol’s blood in his veins. "It was my fault. I’m the one who pushed you into Junmyeon’s hands the night of  the fire."


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

"What do you mean?"

 

Chanyeol’s voice echoed in the silent room with an hesitant tremor as he froze, Baekhyun’s words echoing in his head. His heartbeat had picked up as soon as Baekhyun had uttered those words, the guilt in them wrapping around Chanyeol’s throat and squeezing a bit, making him unable to move and look away from Baekhyun who seemingly had a hard time even holding his gaze.

 

Instantly, dozens of different scenarios filled his head up and somehow, it did make sense. The guilt Baekhyun seemed to feel right now and the fact that Baekhyun had never told him anything about all of this coupled with Kyungsoo’s words about his fear of Chanyeol hating him once he’d remember everything. Was that what Kyungsoo meant? That he’d hate Baekhyun because he had been the one to push him into Junmyeon’s hands? It didn’t make sense though, not when Baekhyun still looked so pained when merely recalling what had happened on that day. However, it could make sense. Why would Chanyeol be outside while Baekhyun and Kyungsoo had been in the house right before Junmyeon had put it into flames? 

 

Baekhyun couldn’t have done anything to hurt him voluntarily though, Chanyeol didn’t believe the other was capable of doing something of that sort. He observed the other as Baekhyun finally seemed to lose against himself and dropped his gaze down to his own hands as he wrung them together, twisting and bending his fingers in odd angles that looked painful but that the other probably didn’t even care about as he was too busy trying to keep himself in check. The guilt draped over Baekhyun’s whole body was thick enough for Chanyeol to feel affected by it and he let out a trembling breath, not even sure whether he actually wanted to know what had happened or not. 

 

However, he needed to. He needed Baekhyun to tell him everything tonight and he would listen to him, even if it would hurt both of them and might break the last thread that held them together, damaged and barely strong enough to tie them together anymore.

 

"What did you do?" Chanyeol forced himself to ask again when Baekhyun didn’t  give him any kind of reply but simply shook his head as if silently pleading Chanyeol not to ask. "Baekhyun," he insisted, barely even hearing his own voice over the loud beating of his panicked heart. It told him to stop, not to put Baekhyun through so much pain and simply take him into his arms and make sure he’d feel safe but Chanyeol ignored it. They both needed to go through this.

 

Baekhyun took a deep breath, tilting his head down a bit more and keeping his hands to himself before finally speaking again, voice wobbly and scratching against Chanyeol’s heart with each word. 

 

"All three of us had been in the safe house at first and Kyungsoo explained everything to us there even if we kind of already knew what was happening. I mean, we were young but not stupid," Baekhyun snorted right after those words, as if he didn’t even believe his own statement. "Kyungsoo told us Junmyeon and Minseok killed Seungsoo and we both didn’t take it well, we loved him a lot and I don’t know, I guess we never actually thought about the possibility of Seungsoo ever dying even if we both knew that death was likely in this field of work. You took it worse than me though, Seungsoo was a bit more special for you, he was someone you really looked up to and he made you his heir so he started spending even more time with you. Not that I took it well either but I guess it was worse for you," Baekhyun rambled on, words hesitant and still rushed in a way that Chanyeol could barely even link them together in his head.

 

"What happened?" he cut him off, urging him to get to the point before his thoughts started eating every single inch of his mind and left none of it behind. 

 

Baekhyun stopped at that, glancing at him before taking a deep breath and straightening his shoulders as if he had taken the inner decision to stop being a coward and just say whatever he had to say. How Chanyeol knew that was out of the question, it had always been confusing how he was able to read Baekhyun like an open book sometimes when on some days, Baekhyun was like a locked up door Chanyeol had lost the key of forever. However, Baekhyun was now ready to push that door open to let Chanyeol see what was hiding behind it and the latter wasn’t sure how to react when whatever was awaiting him could potentially change things forever. More than they had already changed at least. 

 

"You were… You weren't fine at all that day, Seungsoo was really important for you, maybe like a father figure and Junmyeon," Baekhyun faltered, shrugging a bit. "Junmyeon was important to you too, you spent a lot of time with him and he always acted nice, most of the time at least. That’s why you didn’t want to believe Kyungsoo at first when he told us everything. You didn’t want to at all, you kept denying it and saying that there must have been a misunderstanding somewhere."

 

"Just like I did when you first told me about Junmyeon a few months ago," he mumbled, now understanding Baekhyun’s reluctance the slightest even if he knew that wasn’t the only reason why. If Baekhyun was so scared, it was probably worse than that and Chanyeol wasn’t sure he was ready to hear it.

 

"Exactly," Baekhyun let out an empty chuckle. "Maybe a bit worse than your reaction now though, since you were still a child. You kept saying it was impossible and it was hurting Kyungsoo because you really went crazy about it, you kept pacing around and shaking your head while saying it must be wrong. It was really hurting me too because we were just there, trying to stay alive and you seemed not to care at all, you only kept saying that Junmyeon wasn’t that kind of person and that he’d never betray us this way," Baekhyun continued, features twisted as if it was physically painful to recount that day. Chanyeol felt a pang hit his hard at the fact that it was so similar to what had happened only a few months ago, to what had still been happening until a few hours ago too. 

 

"I guess I didn’t change," he couldn’t help but think out loud, far from being proud of that fact.

 

"It’s not your fault, Chanyeol," Baekhyun smiled a bit, still comforting him despite his own pain. "I guess I… I just couldn’t take it, I couldn't take the fact that even then, you were still trying to defend Junmyeon who had been so merciless. You’ve always defended him whenever I used to tell you that I thought he didn’t like us, you kept saying that it wasn’t true, that he was just awkward and couldn’t really express his feelings. I hated it so I just- I just snapped at you at that time and I just-" Baekhyun cut himself off for a shaky but deep intake of breath and Chanyeol knew that he was about to say it, whatever had been eating his mind for years. His heart violently crashed again his ribcage with each beat, almost physical painful. "I just told you to stop being so stupid and that you were blind, that it had always been so obvious but that you had always been a coward about it, that you preferred thinking that everyone appreciated us or else it would’ve been painful for you. We were still just kids and I- I didn’t know what I was saying, words just flew out of my mouth."

 

"What did I do?" Chanyeol asked around the knot in his throat, hands yearning to grab Baekhyun’s to stop them from shaking so much. However, he didn’t. He simply stayed still and waited for the moment everything would change.

 

"You screamed back at me and told me that I pitied myself too much, that I always was just too negative and that I always expected everything to go wrong, that it was stupid of me," he replied, as if reciting the words that had been marked into his head years ago. "That I needed to stop seeing the evil in everyone because everyone had a good side to them. I just said it was bullshit and I got so angry because we were fighting because of Junmyeon who had fucking killed Seungsoo and who you were still defending because you just didn’t want to believe it. So I said it was your fault," Baekhyun breathed out as if putting more air than usual into those words would be enough to make them disappear as soon as he’d say it.

 

"My fault?" Chanyeol questioned softly, gaze never once leaving Baekhyun’s features, raking over them for anything that would remotely help him understand what the other was trying to tell him.

 

"I said it was your fault," Baekhyun repeated, hair falling over his eyes and hiding his gaze away, something that still didn’t prevent Chanyeol from being able to imagine the amount of guilt swimming in the other’s dark orbs. He took a deep breath and continued again. "I said it was your fault that all of this happened. That if you hadn’t accepted living with Seungsoo, none of that would have happened. That we wouldn’t have to runaway to a country we didn’t even speak the language of, that we wouldn’t have had to spend days tiring our bodies out just to be able to avoid a punch and throw a well-aimed kick, and that Seungsoo wouldn’t have died," he recounted and Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun was living that memory in his head, that he had lived it thousands of times in the past ten years and that he never managed to free himself of it. His heart clenched and his fingers twitched, yearning to tangle with Baekhyun’s but before he could even move, the latter raised his hands up to run them through his face harshly in a poor attempt at getting a grip of himself. "I said it was your fault that Seungsoo died because if he hadn’t chosen to make you his heir, Junmyeon wouldn’t have done such a thing."

 

"Baekhyun," he called out softly, like a plea or a prayer that fell on empty ears. Baekhyun didn’t even look at him, too lost in his own memories, too weak and fragile and small to win over the guilt that had been eating his soul away for years. 

 

In a way, he could see why Baekhyun would’ve had accused him of such things at that time. The person who had taken them in and who they both loved dearly had just been killed, it was also easy to see that Baekhyun had particularly appreciated Seungsoo and maybe those words had been said out of grief and pain but they still held a part of true. Had Chanyeol not been named as Seungsoo’s heir, the latter might have not been killed out of greed and jealousy by Junmyeon. If Chanyeol hadn’t talked Baekhyun into accepting to stay with Cobra, they both would’ve been far from the danger of this kind of lifestyle. In a way, it really might have been because of Chanyeol and at fourteen years old, it wasn’t surprising that they had fought about this in a moment of panic and sadness but Chanyeol knew that those accusations weren’t completely true either. 

 

If Chanyeol had refused to become Seungsoo’s heir, the latter might have gotten angry about it and thrown them out again. Whether Chanyeol had decided to take over Seungsoo one day or not, the latter’s choice would probably still not have been Junmyeon and the latter would’ve ended up doing something wrong out of greed either way. Had they not joined Seungsoo, they would’ve remained homeless orphans for the rest of their life and Chanyeol wasn’t sure they would’ve lived much longer when they had to steal and take beatings to stay alive. They had already been lucky enough to survive like that until Seungsoo had taken them in and Chanyeol knew that dying out of hunger, sickness, or frostbite would’ve been a likely end for them if they had stayed in the streets.

 

It would be easy for Chanyeol to immediately be submerged by guilt after hearing those accusations and had Baekhyun told this to him a few weeks ago, maybe he would’ve already started blaming himself for the death of someone he didn’t even remember but things were different now. He had spent days blaming himself for something, pitying himself, and wallowing in stupidity and that had led him to nothing but more mistakes. Chanyeol had spent such a long time ignoring what his head was screaming at him and he wouldn’t do that anymore, he wouldn’t succumb to feelings he could easily avoid. He knew nothing had been this fault, it hadn’t been Baekhyun’s fault either, nor Seungsoo’s or Kyungsoo’s. If there was someone to blame, it was Junmyeon and even then, everything that had happened until today hadn’t been only his fault either.

 

However, it looked like Baekhyun wasn’t sharing his opinion and he ignored Chanyeol’s call, shaking his head in a violent movement, gaze lost somewhere in the air between them, eyes looking into the past rather than at Chanyeol who couldn’t bear witnessing what Baekhyun was doing to himself.

 

"I was wrong, it wasn’t your fault, Chanyeol," Baekhyun laughed, the sound coming off choked up and ugly, so different than the usual melody he carried to Chanyeol’s ears whenever he was happy or amused. His voice was wobbly, wet, and glistening with tears just like his eyes were. "I didn’t know that then though, and what I said… You took it really badly, we just kept accusing each other and after I said that, you just left," he continued, a single tear sliding down his cheek and drowning Chanyeol in an ocean of pain he couldn’t get out of no mater how much he tried. He couldn’t get out of it when Baekhyun hadn’t allowed himself to be pulled away from that dark, ugly, and deep ocean for years. "You left and I didn’t stop you because I was angry and upset and really sad but I thought that everything was your fault and that you deserved to feel as bad as I did. You just left right out of the door and not even five minutes after you got out of the house, we heard a gunshot and… And you know the rest of it, we thought you died and Kyungsoo had to drag me away from that place to keep us alive."

 

As Baekhyun’s voice finally died down, Chanyeol could feel himself breathless, as if he had just run through the whole hallway filled with Baekhyun’s memories without stopping once to take a break. It was a lot of information to take in but that wasn’t even the hardest part about it. The only thing that felt more painful than the fact that this had all been hidden away from him for years was the fact that this had all been hidden away from him _because_ Baekhyun had lived with the guilt of that moment for ten whole years.

 

For ten long years, he had lived with the last image of Chanyeol slamming the door behind him when leaving after a fight with him. For eight whole years, he had lived with the belief that Chanyeol had died that day because his accusing words had pushed him to leave the house. For the past two years, he had lived with the thought that if Chanyeol had forgotten him and had been taken in by Junmyeon, it had been his fault. He had lived with the fear of Chanyeol hating him and blaming him for everything that had happened for two whole years and even now, Chanyeol could see that fear in him. He could see it from the way Baekhyun kept glancing at him as if to check whether he had left the room and his life yet or not, from the way Baekhyun’s fingers were still shaking, from the way he didn’t even care enough to wipe the tears that were trailing down his flushed cheeks when Chanyeol knew he hated giving off a weak image of himself, and from the way his lips were still parted, as if he had still so many things to say but he was just too _scared_ to even utter another word now.

 

And Chanyeol hated it, he hated it because it was just so stupid but he could understand it, he could see why Baekhyun would feel that way. However, before he could even say anything, Baekhyun suddenly shot up, his hand grabbing Chanyeol’s and squeezing hard, as if he was scared the taller would leave him without even saying anything. His eyes finally locked in with Chanyeol’s and the latter felt choked up as soon as he was trapped in those two pools of panic, guilt, and sorrow.

 

"I’m so sorry, it was my fault," Baekhyun let out in a frenzy, wide-blown eyes never once leaving Chanyeol’s as the latter found himself unable to say anything, speechless when faced with a side of Baekhyun  he had never seen before. "I’m really, really sorry. If I hadn’t accused you so fucking stupidly that day then we would’ve never been separated, you wouldn’t have lost your memories, and Junmyeon would’ve never taken advantage of you like this. It was my fault, everything was my fault and you can hate me, you really have the right to hate me but _please,_ don’t. I mean, it probably wouldn’t hurt as much as the thought that you were dead which I’ve been through for eight years but I still wouldn’t be able to bear the thought of you leaving me because of my own stupid mistakes. Not that you don’t have the right to, you totally do. Because everything was my fault, if I just kept my damn mouth shut then none of this would’ve happened and you suffered so much, Chanyeol. You suffered so much and I did too but probably not as much as you did, it doesn’t even matter. You’ve been all alone for so many years just because I pushed you right into Junmyeon’s hands and I’m really sorry but please, don’t leave me. You know that I can’t do this, I’ve spent ten years without you and I died over and over again every single day of those years but I can’t take it, I wouldn’t be able to take it again so please, Chanyeol, just please, forgive me and I’ll never-"

 

As each word left Baekhyun’s mouth, Chanyeol could feel every single one of them materializing into sharp arrows in the air before piercing right through his heart, akin to poisoned weapons that Baekhyun hadn’t even fired on him on purpose. And it was almost ridiculous, the way Baekhyun was simply expressing the thoughts that he had bottled up inside of him for ten long years without even thinking about harming him when Chanyeol could feel every single one of his words slashing a deep scar into his body, spreading pain through his whole being. Suddenly, it felt too much and Chanyeol had the urge to stop it, stop Baekhyun from hurting himself too much, and save him from the deep ocean of guilt and pain he had been chained into for ten long years without anyone ever doing anything to pull him out of it. He hated it. He hated seeing him this way, he hated seeing Baekhyun so desperate when all he had ever shown Chanyeol was strength, confidence, and courage like Chanyeol had never seen before, not even in himself. He hated the way Baekhyun looked so weak, so small, and so fragile right then, his hand squeezing Chanyeol’s hard, his glistening eyes locked into his, and his words rushed, panicked, and barely even linked together as he blamed himself for things that had happened years ago, _pleading_ Chanyeol to forgive him and not leave him. 

 

To someone else, this side of Baekhyun might have been empowering, something that made them feel important and victorious because Baekhyun never begged anyone, he never let anyone see his tears, and he never looked so scared and bared in front of anyone, without any kind of guard up, without any façade, and without his usual infuriating yet alluring smile. However, to Chanyeol, this sight only brought pain, the kind of pain that he had never felt before, the kind of burn that both made him want to hide somewhere forever and fight against it at the same time. He hated it and he wanted to stop it, he just wanted to take Baekhyun into his arms and hide him away from the sharp claws of this cold, harsh world and cover his ears so he wouldn’t hear the ugly, merciless laughter of Fate as it continuously played with them like the weak puppets of a cheap show.

 

That was what he yearned to do and without any hesitation, that was exactly what Chanyeol did, cutting Baekhyun’s panicked and desperate rambling off by taking the other’s frail and trembling body into his arms.

 

Silence instantly fell over the whole room, Baekhyun’s voice dying down in his throat as Chanyeol wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close against his chest until Baekhyun had no choice but to crawl onto his lap and hugging his body as hard as he could, not with the intent of hurting the other but with the pure wish of being able to somehow absorb all of Baekhyun’s pain into his own body or at least squeeze him hard enough until every single one of the broken pieces he had lost in the past ten years would come together again and stick to each other in a way that would prevent them from straying apart from each other ever again. However, he knew that it wouldn’t be that easy, all of this wouldn’t be fixed with a single hug or a warm smile. Therefore, Chanyeol just kept Baekhyun against him, even if the latter simply stayed frozen against his chest for ten whole seconds, as if unsure about what to do now, as if he had never expected Chanyeol to take him into his arms after that confession he had kept to himself for too long, and as if he was scared that if he so much as moved a single inch of his body, Chanyeol would vanish into thin air.

 

However, Chanyeol said nothing, simply held Baekhyun against him and once the latter seemed to realize that this was really happening, that Chanyeol wasn’t running out of the door or throwing insults and accusations at him, his arms slowly sneaked around Chanyeol’s waist, hesitatingly at first before he finally returned the embrace, arms tightening around Chanyeol until he squeezed as hard as the latter did. Chanyeol could feel him burrowing his face against the crook of his neck and he shifted a bit, until he could rest his chin on top of Baekhyun’s head, the latter nuzzling against him, pressing his nose against Chanyeol’s neck and tickling him a bit as he inhaled deeply. Chanyeol couldn’t find it in himself to laugh or do anything but tighten his hold around him even more though, encaging his smaller body in his arms.

 

"You’re so stupid," he said after almost a full minute of silence, his voice hoarse from emotion and wobbly as he could almost feel the pain running through Baekhyun’s veins bleeding into his own body. "You’re so fucking stupid, Baekhyun," he said and finally, he felt the other’s body jolt a bit, his shoulders shaking a bit as Chanyeol felt something wet dripping on his neck, the other’s tears finally falling again.

 

"I’m sorry," Chanyeol managed to decipher despite Baekhyun’s voice being muffled against his shirt and he shook his head a bit, his hand gently rubbing circles on Baekhyun’s back, fingers gently trailing up and down the clothed bumps of his spine as he slowly started moving his body back and forth, rocking them together the slightest as if trying to comfort a crying child, which was exactly what he was doing, in a way. They were both so young, so young and stupid.

 

He took a deep breath in, trying his best to calm down while gathering his thoughts in his head before pulling away from Baekhyun a bit but not too much, just enough to be able to see his face properly. It felt like Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to survive without his touch right now and maybe, just maybe that thought was truer than what he believed. Baekhyun’s eyes were bloodshot when Chanyeol caught his gaze in his and his skin was pale, the golden light basking in the room not even enough to make him look healthier than he was now. His cheeks glistened with tears and sadness, and Chanyeol felt his whole soul cracking a bit at the sight of the pure sorrow and guilt staining Baekhyun’s beautiful features. He couldn’t help but cup the other’s cheek, thumb swiping under his eye to gather another stray tear that Baekhyun hadn’t been able to hold back.

 

This was the only reason. This had always been the only reason. Guilt. Fear. It was so stupid and yet, right at that moment, Chanyeol could understand it. It was so stupid but somehow, it was so _Baekhyun_ to hold himself back for so long because of that. It only showed how much he cherished Chanyeol and yet, the latter felt his heart splitting into two in sorrow.

 

"It wasn’t your fault," he murmured, hoping that his voice would be able to chase away every other whisper that had been screaming in Baekhyun’s head for years. "Nothing has ever been your fault, Baekhyun. Nothing," he repeated, making sure to stare right into Baekhyun’s eyes to keep his attention, to make him understand, and to make him breath again. 

 

However, Baekhyun shook his head, letting out a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh. "You went out of that house because of me. If I hadn’t-"

 

"No," Chanyeol cut him off firmly, his other hand cupping Baekhyun’s other cheek as well so he could hold him still and make him listen. He kept his voice strong, gentle, and genuine despite wanting to crawl into a hole and never have any kind of contact with the real world ever again. He couldn’t though, not when Baekhyun was in such a bad state, not when he had suffered so much without Chanyeol ever having any clue about it. He had to stay strong, not for himself, but for Baekhyun who needed to hear these words. "It wasn’t your fault. You might have said bad things that night but it was only out of anger and I know I probably said bad things too, you can’t blame us, we were so young and we had just lost someone dear to us. Getting out of that house was my own stupid choice, you didn’t push me out of there with your own two hands and not with your words either. I left and I suffered its consequences, it wasn’t your fault."

 

Baekhyun stayed silent throughout his whole speech, gaze slowly filling up with surprise and hesitation even if it still couldn’t overshadow the guilt and the sorrow. He looked as if he had never expected to hear those words coming from Chanyeol and the latter wondered how many times had Baekhyun imagined this scene in his head for the past months and how bad he had thought Chanyeol’s reaction would be.

 

"But," he started, choked up. "I told you it was your fault, I blamed you and that’s why you left." How many times had he repeated those same words in his head for the past ten years?

 

"It was my choice. If I had been smart enough, I would’ve known that getting out of the house was dangerous."

 

"You don’t blame me? You don’t hate me? You’re not going to hold me responsible for everything that happened to you and leave me?" His voice was so small, so weak, so fragile, just like he was, and Chanyeol felt it pierce his heart like the sharp and icy blade of sword.

 

"No, Baekhyun. God, I would never be able to do that," he shook his head because how could he leave Baekhyun when the air in his lungs would be taken away from him as soon as he’d stray too far away from him? "Stop this. Stop blaming yourself. I’m not blaming you for anything, I don’t hate you, and I’d never ever leave you. Just let go of this, don’t do this to yourself," he pleaded, forcing the words out despite the heavy lump that had lodged itself in his throat, trying its best to push the tears out of his eyes. However, he kept his eyes dry and smiled a bit at Baekhyun whose wide and teary eyes had never left him even once, as if to make sure this was real. 

 

His thumb gently chased a tiny, stray tear away from Baekhyun’s cheek before he leaned closer, eyelids falling shuts when he felt his forehead gently resting against Baekhyun’s. He breathed him in, everything that was Baekhyun, with his complex thoughts, with his sharp edges, with his beautiful flaws, with his sorrow, with his fears, and with his mistakes. He breathed him in, because he was the only thing Chanyeol wanted to carry in him for the rest of his life, nestled in a warm and wide corner of his heart and at the core of his soul.

 

"We promised to die together, didn’t we? In a big house with a lot of money in our pockets," he chuckled softly, feeling Baekhyun’s breath hitching as he repeated the words they had promised each other when they were still two orphans roaming around the cold and harsh streets of a city that had always been unforgiving with them. "I won’t break that promise, because I can’t survive at night without light."

 

He felt a warm hand gently rest on the side of his neck before the tip of Baekhyun’s nose was nuzzled against his, the proximity causing Chanyeol to feel Baekhyun’s damp cheek brushing against his, wetting his cheek a little bit with his sadness. Or maybe it was relief since he felt Baekhyun’s whole body going limp against his, his whole weight resting against Chanyeol who never once loosened his hold around him as Baekhyun seemed to let go of everything, his body relaxing as if it had been relieved of the weight it had been carrying for over a thousand years. Chanyeol hoped that weight would never crush Baekhyun ever again. He’d never allow it.

 

"I won’t break it either and I won’t leave you all alone in the dark," he heard Baekhyun whisper, their lips bushing together the slightest bit with those words. Chanyeol could feel his heart reaching out to the other, shaken with an odd mix between relief and sorrow as he could feel Baekhyun’s heart hammering against his own chest. They were close, so close, limbs locked together as if they were each other’s only lifeline, as if they yearned to make their souls become a single whole that would never split up again. "Thank you," he continued, those words containing so much more meaning than it seemed.

 

Chanyeol shook his head, smiling when the tip of his nose brushed against Baekhyun’s and caused the latter to let out a tiny chuckle that soothed him and filled his soul with a warm joy that swept away every ounce of sadness and pain. 

 

Silence settled over them, only disturbed from time to time by the quiet sniffling coming from Baekhyun who seemed to have stopped crying now. Chanyeol could basically feel it, the fact that Baekhyun could start forgiving himself now, that he wasn’t blaming himself for such a silly thing anymore. It didn’t matter. It hadn’t been his fault and now that Chanyeol had been able to let him know, he could also feel himself relax the slightest. Not only because Baekhyun felt better but also because he knew everything now, Baekhyun had told him everything about their past and Chanyeol could feel a deep feeling of relief washing over him even if along with it, shards of guilt prickled his skin at the thought of how much suffering he had caused Baekhyun without knowing anything.

 

He had almost killed Baekhyun only a few hours ago, Chanyeol knew that he probably wouldn’t have been able to pull the trigger but Junmyeon wouldn’t have hesitated in killing the other. Had Chanyeol not been overwhelmed by that memory that caused him to shoot Junmyeon and stop him from igniting that fire, Baekhyun might have died and it would have been no one but Chanyeol’s fault.

 

Chanyeol had always accused him of hiding things, of lying to him, and of manipulating him only because he had stupidly chosen to believe Junmyeon instead of Baekhyun and that could have costed the latter’s life. He had never once stopped to think about Baekhyun’s side of the story, he had never taken the time to get his answers out of Baekhyun, especially that day in his apartment when everything had gone down all at once. He had always believed Junmyeon instead of Baekhyun and now that he knew the whole story, he could honestly say that it had been a stupid mistake, he should’ve known, he should’ve searched for answers better. However, could you really blame him when Junmyeon had acted so caring and kind with him? He had been the elder brother than Chanyeol had never had but the latter had never even taken in the possibility of Junmyeon being the one who had actually ruined his life, along with Baekhyun’s.

 

Junmyeon had always been so cunning, so manipulative but Chanyeol had never once thought about the fact that he could be using those skills on him. The thought that Junmyeon had been talking about family and loyalty for ten years when he had only been trying to reprogram Chanyeol to use him like a weapon was almost ridiculous, it sent shivers of disgust and shame down his spine and Chanyeol hated himself so much each time he thought about how oblivious he had been to the whole ordeal. Junmyeon had a way with words and for years, he had been manipulating everyone around him, Chanyeol, Jongdae, and even Jongin.

 

As that name flashed through his mind, Chanyeol felt someone kick him in the stomach, momentarily stopping his breath as all the pain and sorrow he had tried to forget for the past few days resurfaced again, drowning him as he remembered how unfair Jongin’s death had been. Had Junmyeon really used Jongin’s death to manipulate him? Had he really orchestrated the whole thing? Had Jongin really died for the sake of keeping Chanyeol in the shadow of the truth? He needed to know. He had found Baekhyun’s bracelet there and everything had looked perfect to put the blame on him but he had said that Junmyeon had set up the whole thing. Chanyeol needed to know.

 

Baekhyun was a bit calmer now, simply resting his head against Chanyeol’s shoulder, still curled on himself on the taller’s lap and Chanyeol hated the fact that he was about to disturb him when he had suffered so much just to be able to tell everything to him but he needed to know.

 

"Baekhyun," he called out softly, looking down to meet the other’s steadier gaze now. His eyes were still red and puffy, exhaustion still staining his features probably in the same way as it tainted Chanyeol’s own features. He had to ask. "What about Jongin?"

 

Shadows fell over Baekhyun’s face at the mention of that name and Chanyeol heard him sigh as he shook his head.

 

"Do you still think I killed him?" Baekhyun asked softly and Chanyeol could now see how much that accusation had hurt him. He had been out of himself that day, he had even gone as far as destroying their matching bracelets and now, regret filled every single inch of his being, squeezing his heart in its hold.

 

"No," he replied honestly. "I just want to know what happened exactly."

 

"Junmyeon set everything up." Hatred echoed in his voice again and Chanyeol took a deep breath, knowing that he wasn’t going to appreciate what he was just about to hear. "That day, the day Jongin got shot, I called you. Do you remember?"

 

"Yeah, you sounded panicked and really weird on the phone," he replied, remembering how worried he had been about Baekhyun at that time before forgetting it all when Jongin had asked him to meet in that warehouse. 

 

"That same morning I… had an encounter with Junmyeon." Baekhyun scrunched his nose a bit, as if the mere memory was enough to displease him. "He threatened me, told me to leave this country right away if I wanted to keep living and it was our first encounter after ten years so things got out of hand. I don't know how he managed to find me but at least he was alone which helped since he caught me off guard. I wasn’t prepared and we fought, that’s how I got that wound on my arm."

 

"But the bullet grazed the shooter’s arm when I went after him that day, it was on the exact same spot as your wound," Chanyeol mused out loud, not really accusing Baekhyun but just trying to make sense of everything.

 

"That bastard might have done that on purpose," Baekhyun hissed. "He probably knew I was wounded on my arm and maybe he did get touched by a bullet but there’s the high possibility that he simply faked it when you went after him just to make it easier for you to believe it was me in the warehouse. I know I wasn’t able to hurt him too much, not on his arm at least."

 

Chanyeol didn’t ever notice any kind of wound on Junmyeon’s arm but he did remember noticing a scratch on Junmyeon’s face when they had met for lunch that day. He had explained it by saying it had been a result of a meeting with another gang. He had lied so easily and Chanyeol could feel nausea churning in his stomach once again at how insane all this was. Junmyeon had gone to unbelievable lengths just to put the blame on Baekhyun. He had been so desperate.

 

"So it was him in the warehouse," he noted, not even asking since it was obvious at this point. He could feel anger slowly taking his mind away from the nausea, flames firing up his body as he remembered chasing the man and shooting at him while Jongin had been resting in a pool of his own blood. "And the bracelet?" he asked, voice trembling a bit, even if he already knew the answer.

 

"He took it from me that day while we were fighting, I didn’t notice until he managed to escape me," Baekhyun sighed, fingers gently trailing over Chanyeol’s nape in comfort, as if he could feel the heat of the flames shrouding Chanyeol’s whole body. "I was wondering why he didn’t try harder to simply kill me then and there when he had the occasion to. It never came to my mind that he’d do that only to get the bracelet and set me up. He probably saw you wearing it and recognized it. He knew that seeing it in that warehouse would definitely not let you doubt about my involvement in Jongin’s death."

 

"He wanted me to kill you all along," he muttered through gritted teeth. This had always been what Junmyeon wanted. He saw it as the ultimate victory over Baekhyun.

 

He had been so stupid. He remembered calling Junmyeon as soon as he had gone back to Jongin’s side, the elder had picked up and acted completely unaware, asking him to bring him to Yixing quickly as if he cared when he had been the one to shoot Jongin only minutes ago. It had been so unfair. He had lost Jongin so unfairly, his best friend had not deserved such treatment. His hatred for Junmyeon only kept growing with each revelation that left Baekhyun’s mouth and Chanyeol could feel himself close to combusting. 

 

He had lost Jongin and he had been on the verge of losing Baekhyun all because of Junmyeon’s greed and his twisted schemes, all because Chanyeol hadn’t tried searching for the truth harder. He could feel regret and shame filling him up but he ignored it, not about to make the same mistake again, and chose to focus on the anger instead. He would make him pay. He wouldn’t falter anymore, he wouldn’t let his poisoned words get to his head anymore. He would make him pay for everything he had done to ruin his whole life.

 

"I’m sorry, Chanyeol-ah." Baekhyun’s gentle voice pulled him out of his thoughts and only then did he realize that he was shaking in anger and that Baekhyun was trying to clam him down by gently running his fingers through the hair on the back of his head. "I wanted to tell you that day, in your apartment. i should’ve told you but… My mind went completely blank because I didn’t know what had happened yet and you were accusing me so strongly, it reminded me of the day of the fire and I couldn’t say anything."

 

Baekhyun, who had been crying his eyes out only a few minutes ago while wallowing in the guilt that he had accumulated for ten long years, was once again the one to comfort him and apologize when Chanyeol had hurt him so much these past few days. It was unfair and he was so stupid.

 

He shook his head, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. Lingering on the past would be useless, he only had to focus on what he had to do starting from now on and right now, Chanyeol knew exactly what he had to do.

 

"I’m sorry," he said, drowning his gaze into Baekhyun’s surprised one. "For everything, Baekhyun. For doubting you, hurting you so much, and accusing you of things you never did. I’m sorry for causing you so much pain when all you’ve ever been doing was trying to help me. I’m sorry for almost dragging you into death with my own hands and being so fucking stupid about all of this. I’m really sorry," he finished, taking a deep breath only once he was done speaking.

 

"It wasn’t your fault either," Baekhyun replied gently and Chanyeol felt a pang hit his heart because he knew it was his fault but Baekhyun would never tell him. "You’ve been manipulated for so long, Chanyeol. Junmyeon had a strong control over you and you couldn’t do anything about it, it’s not your fault."

 

It was almost funny, the way they both blamed themselves for everything but kept comforting the other about it. However, Chanyeol didn’t have the strength to laugh anymore, exhaustion finally weighing down on his body now that everything was done, that he knew everything and that he had a million more things to think about. He gave Baekhyun a small smile and seeing as apologizing has made the latter calmer and almost in peace, Chanyeol took it upon himself to shift a bit, moving until he could lay on the bed, Baekhyun following the movement since they were still hanging onto each other. They shifted a bit for a more comfortable position, Chanyeol being careful as not to hurt his arm and cause the wound there to bleed again.

 

The corners of his lips curled up into a light smile when Baekhyun once again moved to be as close to him as possible, resting his head only a mere inch away from Chanyeol’s on the pillow, his arm draped over the taller’s shoulder as Chanyeol’s own arm was resting over his waist, their legs tangled together as they shared their breath, eyes locked together. Anything else but exhaustion vanished, anger, rage, sadness, and mourning, nothing else but the thought of being able to take Baekhyun into his arms freely again remained in Chanyeol’s head and for the first time in what felt like years, his soul was at peace.

 

"Thank you," he whispered gently, observing the way a small smile blossomed on Baekhyun’s lips, like a frail flower that had survived the harsh winter on its own and that still managed to shine beautifully against the merciless wind and the thundering skies.

 

"Thank you too," Baekhyun replied in the same tone, his breath tickling Chanyeol’s lips as he spoke. "For believing me and forgiving me."

 

There was nothing to forgive, at least not for Chanyeol but Baekhyun had accepted to forgive him for all his mistakes so he stayed quiet, not protesting and simply smiling lightly as his fingers slipped under the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt when the latter moved a bit. His skin was warm, as warm as Chanyeol’s chest felt and he took it upon himself to draw swirls and curlicues on Baekhyun’s lower back while the latter ran his fingers through the small hair on Chanyeol’s nape.

 

"From now on, let’s be honest with each other," he broke the silence after a few minutes, when Baekhyun’s eyelids had fallen shut and his body had relaxed against Chanyeol’s once again. "Let’s not hide anything from each other, let’s just share everything honestly and no matter what happens, let’s always listen to what the other has to say before jumping to stupid conclusions."

 

Whatever had happened until now, it was all because they both were too caught up in their own emotions to actually pay attention to the other and Chanyeol was ready to do anything to prevent the same things from happening again. 

 

"Alright, we will do that. I’ll do my best," Baekhyun replied, opening his eyes as soon as he had heard Chanyeol’s serious tone. 

 

His voice was heavy with exhaustion but Chanyeol could still decipher the promise in it, the tints of sincerity that reached his ears enough to sooth Chanyeol a bit. He smiled, leaving everything behind just to focus on what was happening now, on the sweet scent wafting off Baekhyun, on the way he felt so small in Chanyeol’s arms when the latter knew he was one of the strongest person he had ever met, on the way warmth spread over every inch of his body that was in contact with Baekhyun’s, and on the sweet melody of their hearts beating against each other, beating together.

 

"I love you," he whispered against Baekhyun’s lips, feeling them curve into a smile against his own, the sensation enough to send a pure jolt of happiness right into his heart, healing it and glueing its damaged pieces back together.

 

It was only the second time he had uttered those precious and heartfelt words to Baekhyun but he knew that the way he felt hadn’t changed since that first day. On the contrary, he felt a deeper connection to Baekhyun now that they had bared their thoughts to each other and those three simple words held more meaning than anything else Chanyeol had ever pronounced in his life.

 

"I love you too, Chanyeol-ah," was Baekhyun’s reply, his voice so gentle, so sweet, and so pure, like the clear water of a calm and undisturbed river that reflected the light of the sun, shimmering right into Chanyeol’s eyes and blinding him in a way that he’d never ever complain about.

 

They still had so many things to deal with, so many things to fight for, and so many obstacles awaiting them but for the first time in a long while, Chanyeol felt that he could breath and sleep away every scar that he had earned these past few days. Maybe Baekhyun felt that way too, maybe Chanyeol’s presence had the same effect on him, that was what the latter liked to think, at least, and by the way Baekhyun was gone deep into a slumber merely seconds after forming his reply, Chanyeol knew that he wasn’t wrong.

 

Therefore, he simply gave himself away into Morpheus’ arms, hoping with all his heart that he’d find the joy he held in his arms in his dreams too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sleep was usually something very difficult for Chanyeol to get, especially for the past few weeks, but that night, Chanyeol had been able to sleep better than he ever had, lulled by the soft beating of a heart against his own and lured into slumber by the warmth that never once strayed away from him throughout the whole night. Even in his unconscious state, Chanyeol could feel the surprise of being able to sleep so well and maybe it had to do with the fact that he had been getting very little sleep lately but he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep so well if he hadn’t been holding onto the only person that ever made him feel safe through it all.

 

However, all good things had to come to an end at some point and Chanyeol could feel himself slowly being snatched out of his slumber, a frown pulling his eyebrows down as he refused to wake up but couldn’t rest peacefully when he felt a weird sensation on his face. He shifted a bit, burying his face against his pillow in an attempt to make that weird feeling go away but he only felt air tickling his breath as if someone had just let out a silent chuckle. Only then did he realize what that sensation was and it took him a few seconds to be able to open his eyes but his thoughts were only confirmed when he was faced with two gentle pools of twinkling stars, the face he had left behind in his dreams greeting him again in this world with a gentle smile that Chanyeol couldn’t help but return.

 

"I remember you mocking me for staring at you while you slept and now you’re doing the same thing?" he teased the other, voice hoarse and laced with sleep as he pulled Baekhyun closer to him, arms encircling him as he pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead, the sleepy haze he was in pushing him to be bolder than he usually was. Or maybe it was the happiness of knowing that this wasn’t a dream and that they could now be together, despite everything.

 

"I just wanted to see what it felt like to be a creep," was Baekhyun’s reply, muffled against Chanyeol’s shirt, and the latter couldn’t help but laugh quietly.

 

Baekhyun seemed to be back to his usual self, all the tears and sadness from yesterday left behind and that made Chanyeol happier than anything. This side of Baekhyun didn’t break his heart like what he saw yesterday did.

 

"You could’ve just slept instead of creepily staring at me. You said you haven’t been sleeping well lately," he said, maybe feeling happier than he should about that fact.

 

"You haven’t either, seeing as you slept without waking up once until now," Baekhyun snorted, not mocking but simply as teasing as he usually was. "It’s almost noon."

 

"Noon?" Chanyeol repeated, surprised. "We didn’t go to sleep that late last night, I never sleep so much usually."

 

"I guess you were tired," he felt Baekhyun shrug against him before the latter pulled away a bit to be able to look at Chanyeol without disturbing is hold on him either. His eyes were sparkling with happiness and mirth, and somehow, he was even more dazzling than the sun peeking at them from its spot high in the sky. "Which left me no choice but to stay with you the whole time since you wouldn’t let go of me."

 

"Don’t act as if you wouldn’t have kicked me out of bed if you really wanted to leave," Chanyeol narrowed his eyes playfully.

 

"I’m not some kind of savage, Chanyeol," Baekhyun replied, narrowing his eyes right back at Chanyeol. "I would’ve only punched you in the stomach and if you did fall out of bed, it would’ve been your own fault."

 

Chanyeol chose not to say anything to that, simply chuckling softly, bubbles of happiness spreading through his whole body and making him feel as light as a feather as his gaze trailed over Baekhyun’s soft features. His skin seemed to have lost the flush from yesterday and it was a relief to Chanyeol since it meant Baekhyun hadn’t been majorly hurt from yesterday. Small bruises remained on his face though since he had earned a few punches from Junmyeon but it was nothing too bad and it seemed to add to his good looks as Chanyeol found himself mesmerized by the softness of his skin and the gentleness in his eyes. He was handsome, really beautiful, and the small rays of light dripping over them from the windows gave him a gentle gleam that Chanyeol hoped he’d be able to catch in the palm of his hand and hold forever.

 

Baekhyun seemed to be aware of the thoughts going through Chanyeol’s head since it took him only a few seconds to grow an amused smile on his lips, one that couldn’t stretch too widely because of the cut on his lower lip but that was still as mesmerizing as ever while he basked in the attention Chanyeol couldn’t help but give him.

 

"We’re going to have to get up now though, Kyungsoo knocked on the door half an hour ago to say breakfast would be ready soon. Or well, lunch, I guess."

 

"Really? I didn’t even hear him," Chanyeol frowned. Usually he was a light sleeper and he had been trained to sleep with an eye open and his ears listening to his surroundings instead of his dreams so it came as a bit of a surprise. It wasn’t really safe either, considering their current situation.

 

"You were really tired, I guess that’s why," Baekhyun shrugged, observing him before giving him another smile. "Worry not, Sleeping Beauty. I was here to protect you while you were gone into Dreamland, jumping around with pink unicorns and flying between rainbows."

 

"I think you’re the only real danger I need to protect myself from, right now," Chanyeol snorted, amused by Baekhyun’s antics.

 

They spent a few more minutes mindlessly chattering in bed about useless things and mostly bickering childishly in a way that Chanyeol had missed more than he had thought. However, at some point Baekhyun forced him out of bed, claiming that he was hungry and tired of laying down after too many hours spent doing nothing. Chanyeol could see through it though, and he knew that Kyungsoo hadn’t called them only to eat breakfast. They had things to talk about.

 

He let the shorter guide him to the kitchen, still rather unfamiliar with the way around the house, and he was surprised to see that Kyungsoo had really actually prepared food for them. The latter was still cooking something that smelled delicious on the stove when they entered the kitchen and Chanyeol allowed himself to head for the small table in a corner of the room to admire everything he couldn’t wait to get into his stomach, ignoring the way Baekhyun snorted as he followed him.

 

"Since you finally got out the room, I supposed that you decided to stop acting like idiots," the elder said as all three of them settle on the table.

 

Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun and he was surprised to notice that he still felt as comfortable as he had felt last night when he had been alone with Kyungsoo in the bathroom. He now knew why, at least, and it did make sense. Kyungsoo had really acted like an elder brother last night and even now, he had taken it upon himself to prepare them food.

 

"He told me everything, you were right," Chanyeol replied as he grabbed his chopsticks.

 

"I’m often right," Kyungsoo shrugged, gaze landing on Baekhyun afterwards. "Actually, I’m _always_ right but some people like to think of themselves smarter than they are whenever I state my opinion about something."

 

Beside Chanyeol, Baekhyun cleared his throat a bit as if he hadn’t properly swallowed the few grains of rice he had just brought to his mouth before Kyungsoo spoke. Chanyeol’s lips twitched a bit but he fought back a smile, it was still amusing to see Baekhyun act this way with Kyungsoo, it was so different than how he usually was: confident, a bit haughty, and mostly teasing.

 

"I didn’t listen to you _once,_ " he defended himself, frowning a bit. "And look where that got us! At least Chanyeol’s with us now. If I hadn’t gone there last night, maybe this would have taken much longer."

 

Chanyeol simply chose not to say anything about that subject, knowing that if he opened his mouth, he’d only worsen things. Maybe he also enjoyed seeing Baekhyun getting scolded too.

 

However, he seemed to be Kyungsoo’s next target.

 

"Well, I’m glad you at least settled everything and talked it out with each other," he said, sharp gaze landing on Chanyeol. "Do you remember anything else now?"

 

"No," Chanyeol replied with a sigh. "But it’s okay, I don’t need to remember everything to trust you two anymore."

 

"Are you really going to be with us this time or are you going to doubt everything again and cause trouble?"

 

He froze at the harsh question that Kyungsoo suddenly threw at him, surprised to hear such a thing even if he knew the other wasn’t wrong in asking such a thing when all Chanyeol had been doing until now was doubt everyone and even himself. Moreover, when he looked up to meet Kyungsoo’s gaze, he could see that the latter hadn’t asked that question to spite or destabilize him but simply because he wanted a genuine answer. Chanyeol could see it in the way Kyungsoo glanced at Baekhyun with something akin to worry in his eyes, as if he knew how much he had been hurt and didn’t want it to go on anymore. At that moment, Chanyeol was glad that Kyungsoo had been there with Baekhyun for the past few years.

 

He was also glad that Baekhyun had really explained everything to him last night because now, he knew what he had to do.

 

"I’ll fight with you," he replied with conviction and assurance. "I’ll do anything to help you and stop Junmyeon before he causes any more trouble. He’ll have to pay for everything he has done to us until now."

 

Kyungsoo seemed to relax at that, as if he had been apprehensive about Chanyeol’s reply but the smile he gave the latter was enough to reassure him.

 

"I’m glad then. You made the right choice."

 

They all continued eating in silence after that and Chanyeol smiled a bit when he felt Baekhyun’s warm hand rest on his thigh under the table, as if to thank him for his answer. Or maybe Baekhyun just felt the need to be reassured by Chanyeol’s presence, just like the latter felt reassured by that simple contact.

 

However, a few questions still lingered in his mind and he decided to ask them, wanting to make everything clear before they threw themselves into anything major.

 

"Why are you doing this though?" he asked, explaining further when the other two gave him confused looks. "You’ve been hiding for so long, it’s been ten years and Junmyeon didn’t know that you were still alive until very recently, right? You both could’ve stayed hidden in America, you would’ve been safe and away from all of this."

 

It might have been a cowardly thing to do, but Chanyeol knew that staying away from all of this wouldn’t have been such a bad thing either, even if he was incredibly glad that Baekhyun had found him and opened his eyes.

 

"Well, my reason’s obvious," Baekhyun chuckled softly with a shrug. "I’m only doing this because I wanted to avenge your death at first but after finding out that you were alive, I just wanted you back and now, I just want him to pay for everything he has ever done to us."

 

"I know, I’m glad you did everything you could to find me again," he smiled, resting his hand on Baekhyun’s on his thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.

 

They then turned to Kyungsoo, catching the small smile on his lips as he shrugged.

 

"At first, I just wanted to help Baekhyun and it took us eight long years but when we deemed ourselves ready to open that part of our past again, I looked into Junmyeon’s life, just because I wanted to make him pay for taking you away so cruelly," Kyungsoo started and for the first time ever, Chanyeol noticed how worn down he looked. "But then, I saw how he was living, how powerful he was, how much he had manipulated you, and I just realized that it just hurt to see him so successful when everything he has was built on Seungsoo’s death. My brother had been nothing but kind to Junmyeon and he died a painful and unfair death just because of that. Seungsoo didn’t deserve it and Junmyeon doesn’t deserve all the power he has now and all the power he’ll have once he completely takes over Cobra. I don’t want that to happen, I’m going to take Cobra back from him. He’s never been its rightful owner."

 

Chanyeol understood the way he felt more than he wished to, he had lost a brother too, he had lost Jongin because of Junmyeon’s twisted greed and he had lost ten long years of his life as well. He felt sorry for opening up this topic but he knew that they all needed to lay their cards down before anything happened.

 

"Do you want it, Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo asked, breaking the silence that had settled over them for a few seconds.

 

"What?" he asked confusedly.

 

"Cobra? Do you want it?" he explained, surprising Chanyeol who had not expected to be asked such a thing. "You are its rightful owner, Seungsoo made you his heir a long time ago. Do you want it?"

 

That part had completely escaped Chanyeol who still had a hard time grasping the fact that the huge crime group he had been working with alongside Venom was supposed to belong to him. However, he didn’t even need to think about his answer.

 

"No," he replied almost instantly, shaking his head. "I’m sorry but I don’t want it. I know Baekhyun told me you never wanted anything to do with Cobra and maybe you feel that it’s your duty to give Cobra to me but I don’t want it. Once we’ll be done with all of this, I don’t want to have anything to do with this side of the world. I’ll drop everything if I have to, even my identity if needed, but I don’t want to do this anymore. The underground world has worn me out too much and I’ve had enough for a whole lifetime."

 

He had never said that out loud and this hadn’t even been in his head until maybe a few hours ago but Chanyeol knew that it would be the right thing to do. He was tired of all of this and he knew Kyungsoo had done everything that day, ten years ago, to bring his brother’s last will into life and protect both Baekhyun and him but Chanyeol would never be able to take the responsibility of leading Cobra. He was tired of living in danger, he was tired of having to kill people to earn a living, he had spent his whole life fighting to stay alive even if he didn’t remember more than half of it and he was tired of it. Maybe it was cowardly of him to want to run away once they’d be done with Junmyeon but that was what he wanted to do. He wanted to leave and never come back to this city, it held too many bad memories for him, too much danger. He didn’t want to take that responsibility.

 

He glanced at Baekhyun and the latter gave him a small smile when they eyes met, his hand tightening around Chanyeol as if to silently tell him that once they’d be done with this, he’d follow Chanyeol wherever he went.

 

"I expected that answer," Kyungsoo chuckled quietly, probably not out of amusement. "And I understand it. You’d make the right decision, you both deserve to rest and be away from this for the rest of your life."

 

"Thank you for understanding me," he smiled a bit, glad that he wouldn’t be forced into things he didn’t want.

 

"I’d really love to be able to run away from all of this too, but I can’t and maybe I don’t even actually want to," Kyungsoo shrugged, gaze lost somwhere between the plates scattered on the table’s surface. "But my brother put so much work into Cobra and he died for it, I can’t let this go and I certainly can’t let Junmyeon have all of it after spilling Seungsoo’s blood so cruelly. I’ll take it back from him and make him suffer the same death as Seungsoo did."

 

"We’ll be there to help you through it all," Baekhyun finally spoke in behalf of Chanyeol as well and the latter didn’t mind because he really would do everything he could to make sure Junmyeon would pay for everything. 

 

"How are we going to proceed?" he asked, knowing that the sooner they’d start the preparations, the better it would be.

 

Kyungsoo hummed a bit at that and gone were the slopped shoulders and the lines of exhaustion on his face, he was back to the way he had been until now, strong and ready to do anything to reach success. 

 

"Attacking right away without any kind of preparation wouldn’t be the best thing to do. We have to make a plan and a good one because Junmyeon has basically the whole of Cobra against us three and we can’t win against so many people."

 

"Junmyeon is not going to spare us now that he knows what’s at stakes, he’s always been merciless," Chanyeol frowned, reminded of how many battles Junmyeon had won along the years thanks to his cold and harsh demeanor.

 

"He’s right," Baekhyun sighed. "We might all be trained assassins but Junmyeon is heartless. A heartless opponent will always win the battle if you don’t learn to act the same way."

 

"Junmyeon won against Seungsoo by raising his own little army behind his back, maybe we could do the same thing," Chanyeol suggested.

 

"That’s what we’ve been working on," Kyungsoo nodded, still appearing to be deep in his thoughts. They had all stopped eating by then, completely focused on the task at hand. "We have a higher chance of winning the battle from inside while gathering people to our side. I know a lot of Cobra members aren’t satisfied with their system but are too scared of Sehun to speak up."

 

"If we add to that people who used to support Seungsoo, we might gather a few allies to help us," Baekhyun added and it was obvious that they’ve been discussing about this before.

 

"That might take a while but it might be the safest way for us to win this battle," Chanyeol agreed. There was no way they’d be able to fight Cobra on their own. "You already have someone helping you inside Cobra, right?" he asked, remembering what Baekhyun had told him a long time ago.

 

"We do," was Kyungsoo’s only reply as he looked at Baekhyun.

 

"You’re still not going to tell me who it is?" he asked, turning to Baekhyun as well.

 

The latter gave him an apologetic smile. "It’s safer for you not to know."

 

Usually, Chanyeol would have argued about that and asked to know but he trusted Baekhyun now and he knew that he didn’t need to know it that much. He knew Baekhyun would tell him when the time would come and he really didn’t want to start another argument when they had made up only a while ago.

 

"Alright then," he sighed. "We’ll have to focus on gaining a few allies and staying alive and hidden."

 

"Junmyeon won’t be able to find us here," Kyungsoo chuckled softly, as if that small victory was enough to bring him joy. 

 

"How are you so sure?"

 

"This house is unregistered, there’s no trace of it anywhere and if he had followed us here, we would’ve known already," Baekhyun replied for Kyungsoo.

 

"The only thing we have to do is stay hidden here and wait while gathering allies even if we have to bribe them. We’ll attack him with that and catch him off guard."

 

"How long would that take?" he asked, curious and wanting to end this as soon as possible as well.

 

"Maybe a few day, maybe a few weeks. We’re not going to make our move until we’re sure of winning the battle," Kyungsoo shrugged. "We’ll start the preparations today."

 

Chanyeol simply nodded and with that, silence settled over the room as they all resumed eating. This was the start of something big and as he still felt the warmth of Baekhyun’s hand on his thigh, their fingers intertwined together, Chanyeol wasn’t scared even an ounce. As long as that hand would stay in his, he’d be ready to do anything to get out of this alive and victorious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Days merged into each other and before Chanyeol knew it, two whole weeks had passed after their encounter with Junmyeon in that warehouse. Those two weeks were filled with plan-making and suggestions shared between three people who had a common goal but somehow, this had been the most stressful two weeks of Chanyeol’s life.

 

Despite Kyungsoo having told them that there was no way Junmyeon would be able to find them in that house, Chanyeol couldn’t help but live on edge, expecting to be pulled out of his sleep by the deafening sound of a gunshot or the sly cracking of flames eating wood away. After that first night spent there, he had never really had a good night’s rest either because once the exhaustion of the past weeks had vanished, Chanyeol’s mind had decided to disturb his sleep with flashes of fire, echoing laughter, screamed accusations, and the pained face of someone he didn’t even remember. It constantly put him on edge and he often woke up in the middle of the night to Baekhyun’s worried eyes and a soothing hand running through his hair in a weak attempt to chase his nightmares away. Unfortunately, it never worked and rare were the nights Chanyeol could spend simply sleeping which made him tired during the day but at least, that was nothing unfamiliar to him as the past few months had been spent in a similar fashion anyway. 

 

However, he could see that he wasn’t the only one on edge as Baekhyun was constantly fidgety as well, gaze searching for him each time he entered a room Chanyeol was in and hands never once letting go of him during his sleep, as if he was also suffering form the same nightmares as Chanyeol. He didn’t make it as obvious as Chanyeol did and somehow, that only worsened everything for the latter who couldn’t do anything to help Baekhyun if he didn’t ask for help. That wasn’t the only reason why they were both on edge though, the fact that they were holed up in a house they couldn’t get out of only worsened things and Chanyeol, who never really liked being tied down to a particular place, was slowly losing his mind in that huge house that wasn’t even his to begin with.

 

He knew there was nothing to do about it though, if they went outside, the risk of being recognized by someone was high and it wouldn’t be a smart move, not when they were planning to catch Junmyeon off guard when attacking him. Fortunately, he was at least not alone there and both Kyungsoo’s and Baekhyun’s presence helped him. Baekhyun particularly kept him entertained, one way or another, and they spent a lot of time training together while Kyungsoo worked on contacting people that had a higher chance of accepting to work with them against Junmyeon. 

 

The most surprising thing about this, however, was the fact that in these past two weeks he hadn’t even fought with Baekhyun once, despite the both of them being on edge. They didn’t even have a single small argument about anything which often happened before everything had gone downhill with Jongin’s death and as happy as that made Chanyeol, he could still feel the unsaid words hanging between them along with the odd tension that never seemed to leave them alone. They hadn’t talked about the past at all since the day Baekhyun had told him everything and Chanyeol still had so many questions to ask but he kept them all to himself, not wanting to ruin everything between them, and that only caused him to be more tensed up around Baekhyun since he had to be careful about everything he said.

 

Therefore, the only kind of relief he allowed himself was the mock fights he had with Baekhyun to keep themselves in shape while they trained which was always fun because Baekhyun had the odd ability to make Chanyeol laugh even when he was in pain and that was a good thing, even if the assassin often used that against him to strike right after distracting him. Sometimes, Kyungsoo joined them and Chanyeol had the occasion to have a small fight with him that he won almost instantly since as much as Kyungsoo had taught a lot to Baekhyun in the past years, he didn’t seem to have a particular liking for fighting which always caused him to lose against Chanyeol who was much more skilled than he was in that area. 

 

As days passed, Baekhyun seemed to grow more and more aggressive when they fought though and when Chanyeol received a third punch that day while he was busy trying to avoid the way Baekhyun had tried swinging his foot against his calve to make him fall, Chanyeol couldn’t help but let out a loud stream of curse.

 

"Now, are you trying to break my heart to distract me and manage to finally land a punch on me?" Baekhyun asked as Chanyeol stumbled back, barely able to prevent himself from falling on his bum by pushing all his weight on his legs and flailing his arms around to gain his balance back. Baekhyun’s mocking, confident tone ticked him off for the first time in weeks. "That’s pretty mean of you."

 

"You’re really aggressive today, I think you might be the one trying to break my heart," he snorted lurching himself at Baekhyun and using his height to his advantage to swing his leg up, the sole of his feet colliding against the side of Baekhyun’s neck and pulling him down. "And my nose along with it."

 

"Don’t be a crybaby, you’re not hurt," Baekhyun snorted back as his back met the ground.

 

However, that didn’t stop him at all and as soon as he was down, he swept his leg along the floor, hooking it around Chanyeol’s ankle to make him lose his balance and stagger on his feet. Chanyeol had been expecting that move though and he didn’t fall for it, gaining his balance back and pulling himself away only to land a kick against Baekhyun’s leg. The latter let out a tiny groan that seemed to be out of irritation rather than pain and pushed himself up on his feet again as Chanyeol stepped back to give him some time to do so.

 

"You have to be able to hit your opponent in a fight now matter who they are, Chanyeol," Baekhyun said and all the teasing lilts in his vice had disappeared now. "Don’t hold yourself back."

 

"Why are you taking this so seriously?" Chanyeol couldn’t help but groan as he brought a hand up to his nose, wincing a bit as he felt it throbbing as the result of the heavy fist Baekhyun had crashed against it a while ago. "We both know we’re good at fighting, we don’t need to break each other’s bones to train."

 

Before Chanyeol could even argue about it more, Baekhyun suddenly reduced the distance between them in a few rushed steps and Chanyeol would’ve almost actually gotten his nose broken if his instincts hadn’t kicked in as something seemed to finally snap in him and he blocked Baekhyun’s attack with his arm, his other hand blocking another attack as Baekhyun tried throwing his free fist against his face without losing a single second. Having blocked Baekhyun’s both arms, Chanyeol held him in place and brought his leg up to knee him hard in the stomach, pushing him away with a kick when Baekhyun staggered back. Without wasting time, he threw himself at him, landing a punch against his face and wincing as it caused Baekhyun’s back to collide against the punching bag that was hanging in the corner of the room, not far from where they had started their fight.

 

He expected Baekhyun to snarl at him and actually break his nose but the latter only slid down the punching bag before letting himself drop on the ground, laughter escaping from his lips for a few seconds before he stopped, probably in pain since his lower lip had been busted by Chanyeol’s knuckles.

 

"Alright," he chuckled, looking up at Chanyeol with a gleam of amusement in his droopy eyes. "You win this time."

 

However, Chanyeol wasn’t really happy about that fact and as he stepped closer to Baekhyun, chest heaving up and down in a quick rhythm. He found it hard to breath not only because he was tired after almost three hours spent training in this room but because Baekhyun’s lip was bleeding and _he_ had caused that.

 

They might have been fighting but Chanyeol hated the way Baekhyun had pushed him to do that, to actually hurt him when there was no reason for them to train while hitting each other so violently. It only worsened the already bad mood that had been swirling around his head for days now and he felt himself pushed further towards the edge. He tried ignoring it, however, and simply stepped closer to Baekhyun, offering him a hand to pull him up on his feet.

 

"You won yesterday, it’s only fair," he mumbled as he pulled Baekhyun closer to him once he was standing again, their hands remaining laced while Chanyeol’s other hand raised to trail a careful finger over the shorter’s lip. He hissed a bit at the contact with the tiny bruise and Chanyeol breathed out heavily through his nose. "Look what you made me do. Are you okay?" he asked, his heart clenching at the sight even if Baekhyun looked unbothered by the fact that they had hurt each other this way. It usually wasn’t so violent.

 

"Your face looks worse, don’t worry," Baekhyun replied with a shrug even if he hadn’t even seen his own face yet. 

 

Chanyeol knew he was right, he could feel blood trailing down his nose, and his jaw and cheek were throbbing, probably bruised. Somehow, it didn’t hurt as much as the fact that he had hurt Baekhyun.

 

"What got into you today? You’re not like this usually," he asked again as he turned his gaze away from Baekhyun, not liking the sight of his bruised face. He let go of his hand to go and grab the bottle of water that was awaiting him on the table, on the other side of the room.

 

"I just got bored of fighting without actually hitting," Baekhyun shrugged nonchalantly as he followed Chanyeol, grabbing his own bottle of water and emptying it at once.

 

"Well, if you want to hit something, that bag’s there for a reason," he grumbled once he was done drinking, gaze still avoiding Baekhyun as he looked down to his bottle instead, tightening his fingers around the weak plastic to crush it.

 

"It’s not as fun, it doesn’t hit back," was Baekhyun’s disturbingly nonchalant reply and Chanyeol knew Baekhyun hated being stuck in this house as much as he did but he couldn’t help but be ticked off by that attitude. He stayed silent, however, and Baekhyun spoke again. "Do you remember anything?"

 

"About what?" he asked even if it was obvious, taking a deep breath to calm the anger that started sizzling in his stomach as soon as those words reached his ears.

 

"About that recipe I asked you to give me so I could bake a fucking cheesecake, Chanyeol. The past, what else?"

 

That seemed to be the last straw for Chanyeol who had heard that question at least once a day for the past two weeks and before he even realized it, words flew out of his mouth and he turned to look at Baekhyun, gaze shooting daggers right at him.

 

"No, I don’t, Baekhyun!" he couldn’t help but raise his voice, seemingly startling the other who flinched a bit. "Asking about it everyday isn’t going to make me remember either."

 

"I’m just checking," Baekhyun retorted through gritted teeth, glaring at Chanyeol back for the first in a long while.

 

That might have been Chanyeol’s cue to stop and leave the room or do anything to prevent this fight from actually breaking out but he was tired of being asked something so painful everyday because not only did it hurt him, but the identical answer he gave Baekhyun each time kept hurting the latter too and Chanyeol hated it. 

 

"By asking, you keep reminding me that I forgot everything and it doesn’t feel nice at all, Baekhyun," he replied, hoping that the other would understand him. It was already painful enough, Baekhyun didn’t have to remind him everyday.

 

However, Baekhyun seemed not to care about his feelings at all and he only continued talking, his words acting as the flames that slowly boiled the blood running through Chanyeol’s veins.

 

"I’ve been waiting for ten fucking years, Chanyeol. It’s only normal for me to want you to remember everything as soon as possible."

 

"I thought you loved me for me and not for our memories," he spat out, exasperated by the way Baekhyun didn’t seem to even remotely try understanding how he felt. A voice in his head told him to stop, to let it go, but they’ve both been on edge for a while now and finally, the words that had been unsaid until now were flying out of their mouth. It didn’t feel as nice as he had thought it would.

 

"I do," Baekhyun raised his voice higher than Chanyeol’s as if the fact that he even dared questioning it was enough to send him on a rampage. "But it would make me feel less stupid to talk about things if you actually remembered them!"

 

"You think I don’t feel stupid when you keep taking about things _I_ don’t remember?" he couldn’t help but say because it was true, as much as he liked listening to Baekhyun tell him about things that they used to do in the past, it still only emphasized the fact that he might never remember anything about it.

 

"Are you blaming me for talking about the past?!" 

 

"When did I ever blame you about that?!"

 

"I’m not stupid, Chanyeol, I can understand what you’re trying to say," Baekhyun narrowed his eyes but there was no glint of amusement in his dark orbs this time, only anger and a glint of pain that only fueled Chanyeol’s own anger because no matter what, they only seemed to end up hurting each other.

 

"You’re being stupid right now, Baekhyun. That’s not what I meant and you know it," he retorted, their voices gaining in volume without either of them trying to lower it down. 

 

He hated this. Chanyeol hated this so much but he couldn’t stop, not when there were still so many things on his mind, the fear of losing Baekhyun, the guilt of forgetting everything about them, and the fact that each day, Baekhyun woke up with a hopeful glint in his eyes before it died down when Chanyeol told him that he didn’t remember anything.

 

"It doesn’t seem to be the same for you, Chanyeol," Baekhyun started again and the way he pronounced his name, so haughty and almost accusing ticked Chanyeol off more than anything else. He could feel his hands shaking out of rage and he clenched them into fists to control himself. "But our memories are precious to me and I have the right to talk about them as much as I want because they reassure me, they keep me grounded and I keep stupidly hoping that one day, we’ll go back to the way things were before. Are you really blaming me?!"

 

That was the only thing Chanyeol could hear.

 

_I have the right to. I want. I keep hoping._

 

Baekhyun only kept talking about himself, he only saw through his own eyes. It was always about _him_ , about how much _he_ had suffered for the past ten years, about how much Chanyeol had hurt _him._ What about Chanyeol? What about his feelings? His pain? His worries? Baekhyun never considered it, he had never once taken the time to consider it.

 

"Yes, I blame you, Baekhyun!" he snapped and suddenly, words flew out of his mouth without his being able to filter them, pushed out by anger and a deep feeling of sadness that Chanyeol had tried to hide for the past few days just because he didn’t want to hurt Baekhyun. "You’re so fucking selfish! You’ve always been. You kept everything hidden from me for months just because you were scared that I’d hate you if I remembered everything. You’ve only thought about your own feelings, you have no idea how it feels to know that I’ve been treated like a brainless killing machine for ten years and that you might have been able to stop it a long time ago but that you didn’t only because you didn’t want me to leave you. You don’t know how it feels, Baekhyun. You can’t know when you’ve never been alone for the past years. You had Kyungsoo and our memories by your side while _I_ remember nothing about us. Have you ever stopped a second to think about that? Of course you haven’t, because you’re selfish."

 

By the time he was done pouring out everything that had been on his mind since that first night two weeks ago, Chanyeol was almost breathless, his chest heaving up and down with anger and rage as he looked at Baekhyun who, on the other hand, seemed to have stopped breathing altogether. He had stayed silent through it all, taking every accusation Chanyeol had thrown at him without flinching even once and the latter thought that he would’ve felt better after spilling everything but that wasn’t the case.

 

There was nothing but anger and pain in Baekhyun’s eyes and it took Chanyeol only a few seconds to realize what he had just said, regret immediately striking him and trying to overthrow the anger and the pain that he was already feeling. 

 

However, before he could say anything else, Baekhyun turned his back to him and rushed out of the room with quick strides, leaving Chanyeol to deal with the storms of feelings that were battling off inside him. He should’ve went after Baekhyun and apologized but in the end, the anger won over the regret and Chanyeol was left alone in a pool of rage, telling himself that Baekhyun deserved those words even if the thought felt like a sharp dagger digging into his stomach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hours passed and as Chanyeol had locked himself in the training room, not even leaving it once, he gave himself the time to cool off and realize that the anger had faded away rather quickly, enough for regret to claw at his soul violently instead. He had no idea where Baekhyun had gone, he hadn’t gone after him and it was now too late to go and look for him.

 

Despite being worried about him, Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to go and find him when guilt was swirling in his mind like a lethal storm every time he thought back to what he had told Baekhyun that caused him to leave like that. Those accusations hadn’t been made up, they might have been there somewhere in Chanyeol’s mind for a while but anger only made them sound uglier than Chanyeol had wanted them to and a part of him was ready to apologize as soon as he’d see Baekhyun. Although, another part of him was only ticked off further by the fact that Baekhyun had simply chosen to run away instead of talking things out. He always ran away when things weren’t going as he liked and Chanyeol hated that side of Baekhyun more than anything else.

 

Still, Chanyeol couldn’t ignore the glint of worry that shone brightly in his mind, preventing him from paying attention to anything else, even to the pain in his knuckles after he had spent a long time taking his anger out on the punching back that had tired him out after a while.

 

Why did they both always have to mess everything up at the worst of times?

 

Had Chanyeol really gone too far? Of course he had, but at least he had been able to say what had been luring in his mind until now. He really had thought of Baekhyun as selfish for hiding everything from him because he feared Chanyeol’s reaction but it had slipped out of his mind after a while, it didn’t matter and Chanyeol could understand him. He knew that it only meant that he was really precious in Baekhyun’s eyes and he had forgotten all about it but with the way Baekhyun had kept pushing all the wrong buttons earlier, it simply flew out of his mouth. He regretted it and he wouldn’t hesitate in being the first to apologize about it. Maybe he should actually really go look for Baekhyun and apologize now, before they dragged it out further.

 

"Chanyeol?" a sudden voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Kyungsoo looking at him from the door. "Have you seen Baekhyun?"

 

"I thought he was in his room," Chanyeol frowned, stomach churning violently. He felt something heavy settling over his shoulders, dread burning in his guts.

 

"He’s not, I looked everywhere around the house and he’s not there. I thought he was with you," Kyungsoo said, voice growing more worried with each pronounced word.

 

The blood in Chanyeol’s veins froze all at once.

 

"Are you sure? Did you really look everywhere?" he asked frantically as he stood up.

 

He thought Baekhyun was in his room. He thought apologizing to him would be as easy as climbing the stairs that would lead him to the other’s bedroom. Wasn’t he in his room? Where would he be? He felt his heartbeat squeezed in his chest, as if Chanyeol’s own bones were retracting around it. Had he gone out? Maybe he was in the backyard. Maybe he was left the house not long ago. Maybe he was doing this just to make Chanyeol feel bad, maybe he was just hiding somewhere around the house. That could be it. It had to be it.

 

"I did," Kyungsoo replied, chewing on his lower lip. "What happened?"

 

"We just… We just had an argument and he stormed out of the room but I thought he was with you or alone in his room, I didn’t go after him because-"

 

He was cut off by the loud sound of his phone vibrating against the wooden surface of the table at the corner of the room and he glanced at Kyungsoo before rushing towards it, hoping to see the name that had been on his mind for the past hours on the screen. Maybe it was Baekhyun, asking him to come and fetch him from wherever he had gone to. Maybe he would apologize to Chanyeol and the latter would apologize back to him right away because it had only been a few seconds since Kyungsoo had told him that he couldn’t find Baekhyun anywhere but Chanyeol already felt as if he had lost everything he ever had. 

 

However, he grabbed the phone and he heard something shattering in his head, something that oddly felt like the last thread that had linked him to Baekhyun.

 

He swiped his thumb over the screen and brought the device up to his ear, air blocked out of his lungs and the loud sound of his heartbeat preventing him from hearing anything at first.

 

 _"I’m glad you picked up quickly, Chanyeol-ah,"_ were the first words uttered by that disgustingly sweet and innocent voice that Chanyeol had grown to hate ever since that last night in the warehouse where he had heard Junmyeon’s wicked laughter echoing in his head, lost in a memory. _"I think you lost something today but don’t worry, I found it for you and I’m keeping it with me safely until you come and get it. I can’t guarantee that nothing will happen to him though, he keeps wiggling around and attacking my men like a rabid dog. I hope you’ll come fetch him quickly but of course, for a little price."_ That same bone-chilling laughter echoed in his head but this time, it wasn’t in a memory. This wasn’t a memory. This was real. _"Bring me Kyungsoo if you want him back. Tonight. I’ll send you the location soon."_

 

A loud beep screamed into Chanyeol’s ear as the line was cut off and he felt his heart freezing in his ribcage.


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

With Junmyeon’s voice still echoing in his head, Chanyeol turned to look at Kyungsoo who seemingly hadn’t been able to hear anything that had been said to Chanyeol on the end of the other line and despite the confusion written all over Kyungsoo’s face, Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

 

Baekhyun was with Junmyeon. Junmyeon had taken Baekhyun in and he was holding him as hostage and he wanted Kyungsoo in exchange of Baekhyun’s freedom and Chanyeol had no idea whether Baekhyun was actually okay or not right at this moment. How had that happened? How did he get a hold of Baekhyun? Where did he find him? Where did Baekhyun go? Hadn’t he been able to fight Junmyeon off and come back here? Baekhyun was anything but weak and he knew that Junmyeon was good but Baekhyun was as good and that meant that Junmyeon hadn’t been the one to confront him or else the outcome would have been different. Moreover, why would Junmyeon bother personally taking care of anything when he had hundreds of men at his order?

 

What had he done to Baekhyun? How many people had Baekhyun had to fight off before giving up? He probably didn’t give up, Baekhyun would never give up. There must have been too many people to fight off and Baekhyun couldn’t be able to get out of that alone. Was he okay? Where was Junmyeon holding him at? Why had he even stupidly went out of the house when it was obvious that Junmyeon would be looking for them everywhere?

 

All of those thoughts were swarming in Chanyeol’s head, loud and buzzing one after the other like a mad bunch of bees that he would never be able to stop until they went away on their own. He could feel the panic rising in him with each passing second and no matter how many times he tried calming himself down, taking a deep breath, and sorting his thoughts, he only found himself sinking deeper into that cold pool of panic. 

 

Amongst all those questions buzzing in his head, a single thought flashes brightly in his mind. That had been his fault, Baekhyun had went because of their fight and because Chanyeol had said hurtful things to him. However, he couldn’t even focus on the guilt for now when the only thing he could think about was that he had to do something, he had to save Baekhyun. He couldn’t leave him there, he couldn’t abandon him in Junmyeon’s hands. 

 

"Chanyeol," he heard, Kyungsoo’s deep voice snapping him out of the maze his mind had morphed to in a split second. The elder was standing right in front of him now and the impatient tone of his voice let Chanyeol know that it wasn’t the first time he had called for him. "Who was that?"

 

"Junmyeon," was the only thing Chanyeol could say, that single name tasting like poison on his tongue and causing his breathing to cut off for a second as he thought about everything Junmyeon could do to Baekhyun while he was standing there, panicking uselessly. 

 

His gaze caught on the way Kyungsoo’s features suddenly hardened, as if he had expected that answer but had still hoped that Chanyeol could say something different to him.

 

"What did he say?"

 

"He got Baekhyun," Chanyeol exhaled, the mere act of pronouncing those words physically hurting him as he couldn’t believe that they had managed to hide for two weeks only for things to end up like this. He raised a hand to run it over his face, the strength he unconsciously put into the movement enough for his skin to sting a bit once his hand dropped again. "He said he was going to send me a location and that we would meet tonight. That if I wanted Baekhyun back, I had to bring you to him."

 

In the two weeks they had spent together, Chanyeol had been able to get to know Kyungsoo a bit more and the man seemed to be a kind person that Chanyeol felt comfortable with. Never once had he brought up his or Baekhyun’s mistakes again, as if he had done his part after the little conversation they had that first night in the bathroom and he simply left them together, knowing that they would sort everything out on their own. He had also never seen him upset or angry even if they liked to bicker together with Baekhyun who, most of the time, tried his best to make Kyungsoo laugh with silly jokes. The elder always shook his head in exasperation when Baekhyun’s jokes were getting too much but he always laughed and he was the kind of person who felt like a rock you could lean against, someone who’d always be there for you, whether it be to guide you through difficult paths or clean up after your mistakes.

 

However, as soon as those words had left Chanyeol’s mouth, Kyungsoo sighed in irritation, his whole posture sloping as if someone had put a heavy sack of stones on his shoulders. Chanyeol heard him take a deep breath in before he turned around and started pacing back and forth in front of the younger, muttering unintelligible things under the hand that he had placed against his mouth. He was worried, deeply worried, and it was impossible not to notice that he had no idea what to do. Somehow, that sight only worsened everything for Chanyeol and the latter found it hard to breath as already, he started thinking about what he could do to fix his own mistake. Should they go out and look for Baekhyun? Chanyeol knew all of Venom’s safe houses or warehouses and maybe Junmyeon was keeping Baekhyun in one of them. Or maybe they should just call Junmyeon and negotiate. Chanyeol couldn’t wait. He would’t be able to wait, knowing that Junmyeon could do anything to Baekhyun right now.

 

What if it was a trap? What if he had already killed Baekhyun? That single thought was enough for him to feel his heart lurch in protest, fear planting its icy claws into the weak muscle and squeezing hard enough for him to be breathless for a few seconds. Baekhyun couldn’t die. Chanyeol wouldn’t allow it. It wasn’t going to happen. 

 

"We have to do something," he finally said, breaking the silence. "We have to go look for him. We could look into their places, or ask around, or do something. I don’t know, we have to do something, Kyungsoo, we can’t leave him there with Junmyeon-"

 

"What happened?" Kyungsoo cut him off, visibly able to get a grip of himself as he stood in front of Chanyeol again, dark eyes boring into his, shoulders squared, and voice demanding an answer. Chanyeol, for all his years spent shooting people and pulling himself out of the most intricate situations, found himself unable to say anything. It was always like this when it concerned Baekhyun, Chanyeol always lost everything when it came to the man he loved wth every inch of his soul. "Baekhyun would never throw himself into something so dangerous, he isn’t stupid enough to get out of this house alone without telling anything to anyone. What happened between you two?"

 

"We had a fight," Chanyeol explained, hands nervously moving in wide gestures as he explained everything to Kyungsoo. "We’ve been on edge for a while, you probably noticed too. We were training and he made me actually hit him, he kept hitting me too and he pushed me to hit back so I did it and I hurt him so I got angry because he made me do it and I hated it. Then, he asked if I remembered anything and I snapped because I’m tired of that question so we argued about it and I just… I just got angry at him and snapped, I told him that he always only thought about his own feelings, never considered mine, and was selfish for keeping everything from me for so long just because he was scared that I would hate him if I remembered everything."

 

It sounded stupid and Chanyeol knew it. It was ridiculous and they were both so stupid. It led them to this. It always did.

 

Kyungsoo seemed to know it too. Instantly, his features morphed into an expression of pure anger and exhaustion and he glared at Chanyeol, enough for him to feel worse than he already did.

 

"You’re both still so fucking stupid," the elder spat out, voice echoing in the training room and in Chanyeol’s head. He was right. "You’re not fourteen anymore, Chanyeol! Why can’t you both behave like adults instead of being so reckless and unable to control your fucking feelings?!"

 

Chanyeol’s teeth sunk into his lower lip as he stood there, taking every word that Kyungsoo threw at him even if it felt like  heavy blows to his guts. He was right. They had both behaved like stupid teenagers, taking their anger out on each other and looking for a victim to blame for everything. It was almost ironical how identical this was to what had happened years ago, when they were fourteen. Baekhyun had driven Chanyeol out of the house with his accusations and Chanyeol had ended up in Junmyeon’s trap, resulting in their separation of ten years and their life crumbling down since that day. It was the same thing now, only the roles were reversed. 

 

Chanyeol wouldn’t let history repeat itself.

 

"I’m sorry," he apologized through gritted teeth, hands shaking in anger. He wasn’t angry at Kyungsoo for slapping him with the cold harsh truth like he always did but at himself and at Baekhyun because ten years had passed and they still made the same mistake. The same stupid mistake.

 

"You always apologize, Chanyeol," was Kyungsoo’s lower reply. He wasn’t screaming anymore but he was looking at Chanyeol as if he was the biggest disappointment he had ever seen and he was right, he was so right. "Both you and Baekhyun, you always apologize after making the same mistakes. It doesn’t change anything, you never change. Why did you even say something like that to him?"

 

"I was angry and he asked for it, he kept pushing me to do it," Chanyeol tried justifying himself even if he knew there was no excuse for their childish behavior. "It was my fault, I’m sorry."

 

"It’s not _your_ fault, Chanyeol!" Kyungsoo said and he seemed to lose his temper again, making Chanyeol flinch with the volume of his voice. "It’s the both of you, not only you. Just because Baekhyun pushes you, it doesn’t mean you have to push him even harder."

 

"I know!" Chanyeol finally snapped, his mind still swarming with catastrophic scenarios that the sole act of imagining pained him. They were losing time. "We don’t have time to blame anyone for this, we can’t just linger on whose fault it was or what mistake we did that led things to this! Junmyeon has Baekhyun with him and he could do anything to him, Kyungsoo. We’re wasting time."

 

Chanyeol couldn’t afford to blame himself right now, he couldn’t afford to sit there and take Kyungsoo’s scolding even if he knew the elder’s words would linger in his mind for a long time after this. They had to change their attitude. They had to stop doing this and had it been another time, Chanyeol would’ve thought about this all night, he would’ve sat there, completely useless, and blamed himself for everything but he couldn’t afford to do that anymore. He had to find Baekhyun and save him. He had to make sure he was still alive.

 

"You’re right," Kyungsoo said after a sharp intake of breath, shaking his head and pacing in front of Chanyeol again.

 

"How did he even get caught?" Chanyeol couldn't help but mutter himself because despite not wanting to blame anyone, it still seemed so impossible for Baekhyun to get caught so easily, as soon as he’d step outside.

 

"He’s been out for a few hours, hasn’t he?" Kyungsoo asked, continuing once Chanyeol nodded. "That idiot probably went into the city to vent off his anger, his car’s gone and he always likes surrounding himself with noise and people whenever something’s bothering him. Junmyeon probably already had men scattered all over the city waiting to catch a glimpse of us and as soon as they saw Baek, they probably took him away. He can’t fight off too many people at once, especially if he doesn’t have any weapon on him."

 

"What should we do?" he asked the elder, feeling himself stifled with each second that passed with the knowledge that Baekhyun was in great danger. "Should we contact the people you’ve been talking to about Junmyeon in Cobra?"

 

"No," Kyungsoo shook his head, gaze fixated on the floor as he kept walking back and forth in front of Chanyeol. "I haven’t been able to convince any of them, we’re still in the first stages of our discussions and it’s too soon to ask them to do anything for us."

 

"What then? Can’t you track Baekhyun down with his phone? Or the security cameras around the city?" he suggested anything that came to his mind, frantic and desperate to find the solution to their problem as soon as possible. He had to do something, anything.

 

"No," the elder repeated, stopping in front of Chanyeol and looking up at him. "We’re going to do as he says."

 

" _What?!"_ Chanyeol couldn’t help but blurt out stupidly, looking at Kyungsoo as if he had grown a second head. 

 

"We’re going to act as if we’re doing whatever he’s asking for," he added as a precision. "He probably thinks that you’re ready to do anything to get Baekhyun back and he knows you’d go as far as sacrificing someone."

 

"I wouldn’t," Chanyeol mumbled softly even if Kyungsoo looked at him as if he knew he wasn’t convinced by his own words. 

 

As bad as it sounded, Chanyeol would really be ready to do anything to get Baekhyun back in one piece. He’d do anything but he wouldn’t need to because they’d think of a way to solve this without having to lose anyone. Or at least, he hoped so.

 

"Either way, Junmyeon thinks you’d be ready to do anything for Baekhyun and that includes giving me away to him to get Baekhyun back. We’re going to act as if that’s what you’re really doing and then we’ll get Baekhyun back once we’re there."

 

"Are you sure that’s going to work?" Chanyeol couldn’t help but ask as it sounded like a weak plan to him. Not that they had any other choice but this was Junmyeon they were talking about, he couldn't be trusted for anything.

 

"We have no other choice, Chanyeol. There’s just the two of us and we’ll have to fight them off, we can do it together," Kyungsoo frowned.

 

"There’s just the two of us against the whole of Cobra," he noted in despair shaking his head as it seemed absurd to just throw themselves in there without any kind of preparation. 

 

"We have no choice!" Kyungsoo repeated, voice raising higher this time, before he sighed. "It’ll be okay, don’t worry. We’ll just have to wait for him to send us the location."

 

"Why does he even want you?" It didn’t make sense when he could simply just kill Baekhyun off instead of asking for Kyungsoo.

 

"I guess I’m the only actual heir left for Cobra," Kyungsoo sighed and even now, it was still so obvious that he hated this whole situation. "Once he gets rid of me, there would be no one strong enough to overthrow him and take his leadership away."

 

"What about Baekhyun and I?" he wondered out loud.

 

"He probably thinks you two don’t want anything to do with Cobra, that you’d be content with simply running away and staying far from all of this."

 

He wasn’t really wrong, in a way, Chanyeol really did not want anything to do with Cobra or anything related to it once they would be done with all of this. He only wanted to run away with Baekhyun and spend the rest of his life together with him, in place where no one would ever bother them again, somewhere they would be safe in without having to worry about anything else. Once again, it might be cowardly but Chanyeol knew Baekhyun shared the same thoughts and they both deserved to finally be at rest after everything they had been through.

 

However, that could only happen if they managed to get Baekhyun back without anything happening to him.

 

"It’s really going to be dangerous," he muttered again, running a hand over his face as he sighed, feeling stifled by everything that seemed to be pressing down on his shoulders, the worry, the guilt, the despair, and the thought that things never ended and never settled.

 

"I know," Kyungsoo sighed. "But I also know you’re strong enough to survive through this for Baekhyun. Everything will go according to the plan so stop worrying. We have no choice anyway," Kyungsoo said with a final tone that couldn’t conceal the accusations that Chanyeol was able to discern in his  words and in his gaze.

 

However, he couldn’t say anything to defend himself when he knew that whatever had happened, it was their fault. He didn’t know whether this was going to work or not but even if it was dangerous and a really weak plan, Chanyeol was ready to do anything to make sure that Baekhyun would be back into his arms, safe and breathing properly. Even if it meant that he’d be the one to lose his own breath at the end of it all. 

 

"I’ll be in my room," were Kyungsoo’s last words before he turned away and walked out of the room, tension visible in every inch of his backside. 

 

He couldn’t even blame the elder for acting this way when he had been more than patient with the both of them until now and had never once reproached them anything. This might have been the last straw for Kyungsoo but Chanyeol knew that he deserve those accusing glares and the harsh words that had been thrown at him only a few minutes ago. It didn’t matter though, he would still do everything he could to fix this and make sure that Baekhyun would be safe. He didn’t have time to linger on guilt or any other feeling that would lead him to mess everything up even more.

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath, trying to sort his thoughts out, before deciding that he needed to get out of this suffocating room as well and headed towards the bedroom he shared with Baekhyun, hoping that it would help him breath more easily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Despite having craved to be out of the training room, Chanyeol hadn’t been able to spend much time in the bedroom he shared with Baekhyun as it only worsened his state of panic and reminded him that the bed was empty and that Baekhyun could very much be hurt, wounded, and maybe even dead at this exact moment. That wouldn’t really be something unexpected as Junmyeon had always hated Baekhyun and had been on the verge of setting him on fire to burn him alive if Chanyeol hadn’t intervened and prevented him from doing it that night in the warehouse. 

 

What if this was a trap and Baekhyun was already dead? Junmyeon wouldn’t hesitate to lure them in like this even if Kyungsoo seemed to know that Baekhyun probably wasn’t dead and that Junmyeon was actually going to give him back to Chanyeol in exchange of Kyungsoo. It seemed unlikely and Chanyeol knew that bad things were awaiting them, he couldn’t just stand still in a single spot when his mind was slowly being eaten away by thoughts that kept creeping into his head along with guilt, and anger towards everything and everyone that caused them to end up like this, including himself. He kept telling himself not to focus on the guilt and make the same mistakes but he couldn’t help it, not when Baekhyun’s pained expression before he left the training room kept flashing behind his eyelids every time he blinked. He didn’t want that to be his last memory of Baekhyun, they still had so many things to do together, so many places to see, and so many words to tell each other.

 

Either way, he had only managed to spend no more than two small hours upstairs before he had found his legs once again carrying him down towards the basement where he had went into the shooting range in the room right next to the training room he usually spent time in with Baekhyun. It usually always calmed him to feel the cold seeping into his skin through the tight grip he had on a gun and having to focus on a target he had to shoot perfectly always emptied his head of any stray thoughts he didn’t want to have but this time, he could barely even hear the muffled sound of gunshots as he was too lost in the maze inside his head.

 

He wondered if this was the way Baekhyun had felt for ten years, the suffocating guilt of having been the one to push Chanyeol right into Junmyeon’s claws. He knew that it hadn’t been Baekhyun’s fault, he’d never blame him for the accusations he had throw him that day but now, as Chanyeol was left with the memory of their fight and the dozens of terrible scenarios playing in his head, he couldn’t help but blame himself for everything. It had been no more than a few hours since Junmyeon had called him, the sun was about but there was still no other news from him and already, Chanyeol could feel himself losing his mind even more with each passing second. It was like an agonizingly slow death, a torture that he knew he wouldn’t be able to free himself of until he’d be able to feel Baekhyun’s heartbeat against his own chest, and to think that Baekhyun had gone through this for _years_ only worsened everything because no matter how much time passed, Chanyeol always seemed to mess everything up.

 

He knew they were both at fault but he could’ve understood Baekhyun better, he could’ve been calmer and dealt with the situation better instead of giving Baekhyun an eye for an eye. 

 

He wasn’t even sure Kyungsoo’s plan was going to work when it seemed so weak and disorganized. However, he was right, they had no other choice and for the first time, Chanyeol realized how alone they were in this. There was only the three of them and with Baekhyun trapped in Junmyeon’s claws, it was only the two of them against Junmyeon who had the advantage of having way too many people at his orders. However, they had no choice and Chanyeol would fight until his last breath if it meant that Baekhyun would get out of there alive, that was the only thing he cared about at the moment and he would only focus on that and nothing else. Moreover, Kyungsoo wasn’t stupid, far from that, and if he thought that this would work then Chanyeol could only follow his orders and work alongside him. He knew that the elder cared about Baekhyun as much as he did and he would do everything for Baekhyun’s safety as well so Chanyeol trusted him.

 

He hadn’t even seen the elder since their last conversation either, he knew that Kyungsoo needed time to himself as well and that he was angry, he didn’t want to disturb him and worsen everything by saying something wrong when they were both on edge after Junmyeon’s call. Perhaps he also felt a bit ashamed of everything and that prevented him from seeking him out to discuss this more even if he knew that was exactly what he needed to do in order to calm himself down. The only thing Chanyeol could do, however, was wait and distract himself with mundane things in order not to completely lose his mind until they’d go and get Baekhyun. 

 

"Forgot how to pull the trigger?"

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Kyungsoo’s voice, startling a bit before looking over his shoulder to see the other leaning against the doorframe as he looked at him, one eyebrow raised but a corner of his lips pulled up the slightest in a way that Chanyeol had come to learn meant he was a bit amused. No trace of anger remained and he was completely different from the way he had been a few hours ago, he wasn’t glaring at Chanyeol or throwing accusations at him anymore. The few hours spent apart had visibly helped him sort his thoughts out in a way that Chanyeol hadn’t been able to do. He sighed a bit.

 

"It’s impossible to forget how to pull the trigger when you’ve done it hundreds of times in your life," he simply replied, lowering his gun and finally noticing that his arms felt sore, as if he had been holding them up for too long.

 

"You’ve been standing there for ten whole minutes, aiming without shooting," Kyungsoo replied, answering Chanyeol’s silent question about the pain in his arms as he stepped closer to the taller. 

 

"I was just lost in my thoughts, I guess," he chuckled quietly, the heart not at it as he put the gun down on the counter in front of him and pressed on the button a few inches away from it, a soft buzzing reaching his ears as the target hanging a few feet away from him slowly advanced towards him.

 

He had been surprised to learn that a shooting range could actually be found in this house when Baekhyun had first shown it to him, taking great pleasure in Chanyeol’s surprised expression as soon as he had pushed the door open a few days ago. It wasn’t really anything spectacular, the room was rather small if you didn’t count the space taken by the shooting range, a wide closet pushed against one of the walls and containing enough firearms for all three of them not to ever find themselves without any means of defense. Chanyeol had also been surprised to see that but he supposed that it shouldn’t have been too surprising when the first thing that he had seen when entering the room was the shooting range.

 

It wasn’t anything massive either, there were only four spots, each booth limited by thin dark colored partitions, and four targets were hung a few feet away, the black-colored silhouette of  a man drawn upon a big rectangle-shaped fabric. When the target reached Chanyeol, it stopped, allowing him to see that his results were poor, the holes pierced through the target by the bullets he had fired, which were only five, scattered around, reminding him of the first target he had used on the very first day he had been training in a shooting range with Junmyeon. Two holes were pierced through the left shoulder, one on the very bottom of the target where the waist should be, and two were completely off the actual target, pierced through the white spot that enveloped the black silhouette, right next to the left ear. All in all, it was a pathetic result Chanyeol hadn’t gotten in years.

 

He sighed loudly, irritated by the results, the few holes pierced through the target glaring at him as if they judged his utter failure at aiming properly. He took off his ear muffs, throwing them on the counter carelessly before running a hand through his hair, messing up his dark locks more than they already were.

 

"I guess not shooting is better than this disaster," Kyungsoo chuckled softly, not phased at all by the glare Chanyeol couldn’t help but send him. "It’s okay, you were just distracted and out of your mind. We both know you’d never aim like this if you were to shoot a real human being and not a mere unmoving target," he continued, gently patting his arm in a comforting manner.

 

Chanyeol shook his head, softening his features as he looked at Kyungsoo properly. He wasn’t angry anymore and that was a relief, despite the constant furrow of his eyebrows that always lingered on his face whenever he was worried about something.

 

"How do you even have a training room and a shooting range in this house? I never actually got to ask," he said, wanting to talk about something that could distract him a bit.

 

"It was already here when we moved in," the shorter shrugged. "This house belonged to a former member of the army, I guess he liked to train in his own house. Though, this wasn’t his actual house, he came here only from time to time for vacation or something like that since it’s in the outskirts of the city, far from everything else. We moved in when he died."

 

"When he died?" Chanyeol couldn’t help but question, raising an eyebrow.

 

Kyungsoo mirrored his expression with a bit more seriousness. "We didn’t kill him, he died three years ago out of age. He had never registered this house for various reasons, he used to work with us from time to time when my brother was still alive. He helped us get the weapons we needed to smuggle across the border."

 

It wasn’t that surprising, it wasn’t the first time Chanyeol had heard of corrupt members of the police, of the army, or even of the government. However, he didn’t really have the heart to say anything to continue this conversation and silence fell over them, Chanyeol’s gaze lost somewhere on the target as he couldn’t help but wonder how Baekhyun was doing. He hoped that they weren’t hurting him too much, even if he knew Baekhyun being in perfect health wouldn’t change anything for him as he’d still fight his hardest against Junmyeon to free him.

 

"Listen, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo sighed next to him, calling for his attention again. He was calm again, taking back the aura of a strong rock you could lean against now that he wasn’t angry wth anyone anymore. "I’m sorry for being so harsh on you earlier, really. I didn’t mean to sound like that, I hope I didn’t hurt you."

 

"It’s alright, I kind of deserved those words and everything you said was true anyway," he replied honestly, trying and failing to curl his lips into a light smile. He was in no position to accuse Kyungsoo when the latter only wanted his good and had been right in everything he said.

 

"I really was right but I could’ve said things a bit more nicely," Kyungsoo smiled a bit, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

 

"I needed to hear that anyway," he shook his head. "We’re both acting really stupidly and I know you already warned me about that when I first stepped into this house but I don’t know. I guess we can’t help but mess everything up, we only keep hurting each other," he snorted, not out of amusement or anything akin to that but because it was so stupid of them and he was getting tired of it. "Maybe we were both happier when we were separated."

 

However, he shook his head as soon as those words left his mouth as he knew it wasn’t true at all, before Baekhyun, his life had been dull, he only killed people everyday in exchange of money and it just felt so meaningless, even if it was much more peaceful back then. Baekhyun had been like a sudden ball of light invading his life, it was painful and blinding to look at but it made him much more happier than walking around in the dark. He kept burning the skin of his fingers off every time he tried grasping it but he knew that he’d never give up on it and one day, he’d be able to hold it without hurting himself or scaring it off. The sole thought of never being able to be blinded by that light was enough for Chanyeol’s soul to wail in protest.

 

"That’s not true," Kyungsoo said softly before falling silent for a few seconds and speaking again after a deep intake of breath, as if he was carefully choosing his words before pronouncing them. "I know Baekhyun, we’ve been together for so many years and I can tell you that he never looked as happy as he does whenever you’re near him. I know it feels like I’m repeating myself over and over again but he thought for so many years that you were dead and when we found out that you were alive, we were both ecstatic. Especially Baekhyun," he smiled a bit.

 

"I’m glad I can make him happy," Chanyeol muttered to himself, watching as Kyungsoo’s smile widened at his words before he pursed his lips, as if hesitating to pronounce his next words. "What? You can tell me," Chanyeol urged him, he knew Kyungsoo wouldn’t start this conversation all over again if he didn’t have something important to say.

 

"I know you both love each other a lot but you grew up so differently. I also know Baekhyun told you that you aren’t really different from the way you used to be in your childhood, when you were together, but you are. You are different and I think that’s bothering him."

 

"How am I different?" he asked, frowning in confusion. He remembered Baekhyun once telling him that he wasn’t too different and that the small things didn’t bother him either. Had he lied about that?

 

"You just grew up harshly, I assume Junmyeon’s training was much worse than when he was with Seungsoo. Baekhyun grew up harshly too after we left for America but he’s not that different from his childhood, he probably expected you not to have changed much too and I guess he should’ve known since you lost your memories but it still hurts him, I think."

 

"What changed?" he asked again, a knot forming in his throat. He knew there was nothing he could do about that but it still made him feel bad. He had hurt Baekhyun much more than he had known.

 

"There’s just… this air around you," Kyungsoo started, eyes trailing over Chanyeol as if even now, he could see those few changes in him. There was also an air of nostalgia in his voice and the lump in his throat grew bigger. "You’re not as playful, nor as happy as you used to be. I can still see that same happiness in you whenever you’re with Baekhyun but otherwise, you’re not as light and positive as you used to be. I don’t blame you for that though, your living conditions pushed you to be this way."

 

The worst thing about hearing this might be that Chanyeol somehow knew it. He knew he wasn’t positive or happy most of the time. He knew he wasn’t as energetic as he could be and he had no memory to compare it too but he had the feeling that he was different from the way he used to be when he was a child living in the streets with Baekhyun.

 

"That’s why he keeps asking if I remember," he muttered to himself, feeling so stupid and heartless all of a sudden.

 

"I think that deep down, he hopes that you’ll go back to the way you used to be if you remember everything," Kyungsoo sighed softly. "That’s not much though, he’ll get used to it and it’s not like you’re a completely different person either. You’re still the same kid, in a way," he chuckled softly. 

 

"I’m really sorry I can’t do anything about that. I can’t really change myself suddenly," he said regretfully.

 

"I know, it’s not your fault," Kyungsoo smiled lightly, shaking his head as if to tell him not to care about it too much. "However, there’s something else that’s bothering him and you could do something about that instead."

 

"What is it?"

 

"Junmyeon," he replied and instantly, Chanyeol felt the energy sucked out of him. It was amazing how much effect a name could have on someone when you knew who the person who carried it was. "You grew up with him and he shaped you to be something almost like a slave, someone who’s going to do everything he says without questioning it. Not only you, almost every member of Venom was shaped to be this way," he added, probably after seeing Chanyeol’s sour expression. "You’re not with him anymore but that effect’s lingering on you even now."

 

"That’s not true," Chanyeol cut him off, shaking his head. He didn’t believe anything Junmyeon had ever told him anymore, he wasn’t working with him, and he was ready to take his life away with his own two hands now. It wasn’t true.

 

"It is, Chanyeol. You just can’t see it yourself. Even now, whenever we’re talking about him, you get this sour expression, as if you can’t bear the fact that we’re talking about him badly. It’s in your unconscious, almost like a habit."

 

Chanyeol fell silent at that. He couldn't even deny it, something in him always pushed him to stop Baekhyun whenever he was talking about Junmyeon too negatively and more than once, Chanyeol had had to stop himself from saying anything. Each time, he hated himself more afterwards.

 

"I never realized I still did that," he let a bitter chuckle slip past his lips.

 

"It’s not your fault," Kyungsoo tried comforting him. "It’s a result of ten long years of something similar to brainwashing, I guess. Junmyeon has a way with words, he can make you believe the silliest things if he wants to and you were just one of his many victims."

 

And Chanyeol hated it. He hated how easy it had been for Junmyeon to have so much control over him. Even now, Junmyeon was still the one in control of everything, he was still the one leading Chanyeol around, he was the one waiting for him to show up at the location he’d send him, like a vicious owner waiting for the return of its guard dog. He felt the flame of anger that had been sizzling in his guts for days now suddenly burst into a bigger wildfire that spread through his blood. He hated it.

 

"All of this is going to end once we get rid of him. I’ll do it. I’ll make sure he’ll never be able to hurt any of us again," he said through gritted teeth, the hand that had landed on the counter of his shooting stall now gripping the edge until his knuckles faded into white. 

 

"We’ll do that together, all three of us," Kyungsoo said softly as he gently patted the hand that was curled on the edge of the counter, like an older brother reassuring him when faced with the possibility of failure. 

 

He turned to Kyungsoo, offering him the most genuine smile he was able to muster. He was glad that Kyungsoo was there with them, things would have been so much harder had Chanyeol been alone to deal with all of this.

 

"Thank you," he said, voice carrying sincerity and genuine gratefulness to the shorter’s ears.

 

"You can thank me by being more careful around Baekhyun," he said, the corners of his lips twitching up into a smile as he crossed his arms over his chest. "But don’t worry, i’ll make sure to give him the scolding of his life once we get a grip of that idiot."

 

That was all Chanyeol needed for the weight on his chest to lighten a bit and he allowed himself to laugh softly, the sole thought of Kyungsoo once again having to scold Baekhyun as if he were a young, untamable child was amusing. He also knew that Kyungsoo wasn’t just saying that to make him laugh, he would really do it. It was only fair that Baekhyun heard the same words as he had heard from Kyungsoo’s angered self.

 

Then, a small thought made its way into Chanyeol’s mind as he couldn’t help but be reminded of all the times Junmyeon had a serious conversation with him involving his life choices or his mistakes. Kyungsoo was so different than Junmyeon even if he supposed they both had a similar role in his life. Junmyeon used to be the person who kept him in check and whom he could lean against and that was exactly what Kyungsoo had been for Baekhyun for years and now, for Chanyeol too. Yet, the two of them were so different.

 

Kyungsoo had told him everything that was on his mind, both the good and the bad things, and he might have accused Chanyeol of some things but he also had genuinely apologized for having used a harsh tone on him. He simply had stated his opinion with the sole purpose of helping Chanyeol understand the situation and prevent him from doing the same mistakes over and over again. He had never once imposed his opinion on him, he had never once told Chanyeol that he knew better than him, that he was older and therefore was to be respected. He hadn’t locked Chanyeol’s gaze into his to make sure that he was listening to each of his words and he hadn’t said anything that had ignited a feeling of guilt that prevented him from speaking his own mind. He did none of those things when that had been all Junmyeon had done with Chanyeol who only now realized it, now that he had something to compare Junmyeon to. 

 

Kyungsoo only acted for Chanyeol’s wellbeing along with Baekhyun’s and it was so much different than what Chanyeol was used to but he could already tell that this was much better than anything else he ever had gone through with Junmyeon. That shouldn’t be surprising, Junmyeon had never had pure and kind intentions with him.

 

"Do you want to compete?" Kyungsoo suddenly asked, pulling him out of his thoughts and of his internal comparison between what he had thought was a great older brother figure and what actually _was_ a great older brother figure.

 

"You wanna compete?" he asked in confusion as Kyungsoo suddenly had a gun in his hand, one that he had seemed to pull out of thin air.

 

"Yep, the one who scores the lowest will have to do the dishes," he explained, pointing towards the targets with a motion of his head.

 

It was so sudden and spontaneous that Chanyeol couldn’t help but look at the shorter for a few blank seconds before laughing softly and stepping to walk around Kyungsoo and take place on the booth that was on his other side since he didn’t want to deal with having to change the target of the booth he had already used earlier.

 

"You must really want to do the dishes," he teased the other, mood lifted up the slightest by their conversation even if he knew this was only a futile distraction. 

 

"You must really want me to miss the target and shoot you instead," Kyungsoo playfully narrowed his eyes, actually looking intimidating for a few seconds as he reached for the ear muffles hung on the partition separating their booths.

 

Chanyeol reached to do the same but before he could put them on, he felt something vibrating in his pocket and he instantly froze, looking at Kyungsoo who, once again, looked at him in confusion. He took a deep breath before putting the ear muffs down on the counter and reaching for the phone resting in his jeans’ back pocket, unsurprised to see the name on the notification even if his heartbeat had suddenly skyrocketed. There was nothing much. Just a time along with an address and yet, Chanyeol knew that whatever was about to happen in that place, it would change everything.

 

"Is it him?" Kyungsoo asked, putting his ear muffs down as well and looking up at Chanyeol with gravity.

 

"Yeah, there’s an address. He wants us to be there in an hour and a half," he replied, doing his best not to make the apprehension in his voice too loud.

 

"An hour and a half?" Kyungsoo frowned. "Of course he’d give us the address at the last moment to make sure we won’t prepare anything," he mumbled under his breath before looking at Chanyeol again. "Ready to do this?"

 

He could see the hesitation in Kyungsoo’s eyes, as if he thought that it was too soon for Chanyeol to be facing Junmyeon again but it didn’t matter for him. Chanyeol knew that he could do it. He would do it for Baekhyun and he wouldn’t get out of there until he’d make sure that Baekhyun would be safe.

 

"Let’s go," he said with a final tone, sharing a look with Kyungsoo for the few seconds it took the latter to be able to believe Chanyeol.

 

Kyungsoo took a deep breath in before nodding as determination spread through his features, his shoulders squared up and his chin held high in the same way that Chanyeol forced himself stand. They could do this. They would.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t alone in this and he knew that they would do anything to win this battle and put an end to a war that had been going on for way too long.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The drive to the address Junmyeon had sent him was quiet, Chanyeol being the one behind the wheel, and so many things had been going through his head but he couldn’t find it in himself to actually voice out anything to Kyungsoo who had been sitting on the passenger seat, not a single word slipping past his lips ever since they had gotten inside the car. He knew whatever was about to happen could either go really wrong or would put an end to everything once they’d all get out of there, hopefully alive. No words were exchanged between them but Chanyeol could feel the tension and the deep worry radiating off the other.

 

They had discussed everything right before leaving though, and Chanyeol knew that there was nothing left to say besides wishing each other good luck and exchanging words of comfort but even that wasn’t happening. It was very simple, too simple. Chanyeol would simply bring Kyungsoo inside, where Junmyeon was probably waiting for them, and once Junmyeon would give him Baekhyun back, Kyungsoo would be able to free himself of the knots Chanyeol had tied around his wrists in order for them to fight and get out of there together, all three of them. However, he knew that it wouldn’t be as easy as it sounded and it was almost surprising that Kyungsoo was willing to go in with such a weak plan. The only thing he had told Chanyeol when the latter had once again reminded him of how dangerous it was, had been that if Junmyeon refused to cooperate then he would free himself right away and they’d fight until they’d be able to take Baekhyun away from him. He also hoped that Baekhyun was in a good enough shape to fight alongside them.

 

Either way, Chanyeol couldn’t even find a way out of his thoughts but oddly, he felt rather calm, as if he had finally been able to throw everything else away just to focus on what he had to do. His heartbeat still was faster than usual but his fingers weren’t shaking, his grip on the steering wheel wasn’t too tight, and he didn’t feel the urge to flee this situation. It felt as if this was a normal mission, one that Junmyeon had sent him to so many times in the past few years, one that summoned the cold-blooded assassin in him, a side of himself that Chanyeol hadn’t been able to be in contact with for what felt like a whole lifetime. He knew what he had to do and for the first time in a long while, Chanyeol was completely sure that he would do it. He would do it for Baekhyun.

 

Once he stopped the car in front of their destination, Chanyeol took a few seconds to look in front of him, turning the engine off and taking in the old, half crumbled building offered to his sight. It was dark outside and it was difficult to actually see it properly since this street wasn’t lighted up, being placed in a part of the city that people rarely went to, far behind the cheapest and most disadvantaged neighborhoods of Seoul. It was a place that Chanyeol didn’t really recognize so he supposed that either it was an actual random place chosen by Junmyeon or it was part of Cobra’s territory which wouldn’t be surprising. It was obviously abandoned and it wasn’t that big, it actually looked like an abandoned construction now that he looked at it more carefully, a building that had probably been meant to house a few families before the construction had been stopped halfway, once the base of the building had been constructed. It looked worn out by time but Chanyeol supposed that it was safe to go in it, Junmyeon wouldn't make the stupid mistake of risking his own life like this, unless it was actually a trap. Chanyeol was ready for anything anyway but despite the eery silence surrounding them, only disturbed by the muffled sounds of the night he could hear from inside his car, it looked nothing like a trap. He could see light through the holes that had been supposed to be windows but that lacked the glassy surface for them to be called as such and that could only mean that someone was inside.

 

He turned towards Kyungsoo, their eyes meeting for a few seconds. Chanyeol could see determination in the other’s eyes, along with a small glint of apprehension that he wasn’t able to conceal. However, whatever he saw in Chanyeol’s eyes seemed to help him a little and he nodded once, as if to himself, before speaking.

 

"We’re doing this for him," was the only thing he said.

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath in, noting that he still felt rather calm, maybe a bit too calm, and nodded as well.

 

"We’ll get him out of here and end this once and for all."

 

He was surprised by the determination he could hear in his own voice but Kyungsoo seemed to be reassured by it, the corners of his lips quirking up a bit before he nodded at Chanyeol, silently asking him to finally move. The latter glanced at the silent building in front of them once before pushing the door open and getting out of the car to walk towards the passenger side where he opened the door and grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm, pulling him out of the vehicle. He had to act as if he was really willing to exchange Kyungsoo for Baekhyun so he looked at the shorter once before pulling him along as he headed towards the building, eyes raking over his surroundings for any sign of danger and ears wide open to catch any kind of sound that could help him visualize what was awaiting them inside. However, there was nothing, only silence, the sound of their shoes rubbing against gravel as they walked, the wind blowing into their hair, and the sound of his heartbeat echoing in his chest and in his head.

 

Once in front of the building, he pushed the door open, carefully and slowly, the hand that wasn’t holding onto Kyungsoo’s arm patting the slight bump of the gun resting against his waist and under his clothes just to make sure that it was still there. There was nothing at first, only the same eery silence but the lights were indeed on so Chanyeol could properly see the narrow hallways that spread in front of them. Still as silently, they continued walking ahead, Chanyeol’s eyes trailing around him, their steps careful and slow as he knew this might still be a trap and someone could suddenly jump on them from anywhere. In the silence of the building, their footsteps echoed in the hallway and Chanyeol could feel Kyungsoo tensing up next to him when they neared the corner that probably led them to a wide room as the building wasn’t completely constructed and walls hadn’t been put around to separate what he guessed were supposed to be apartments into smaller rooms.

 

They rounded the corner and he was proven right when they walked into a wide and empty room, the very dim light not concealing the man that was standing a few feet away from them, facing them and greeting Chanyeol with an unfamiliar smile on familiar features. Chanyeol stopped moving, standing in the doorway, his grip on Kyungsoo’s arm tightening a bit when he felt the latter tensing up even more.

 

Junmyeon’s features were twisted by a wide and sinister grin that didn’t show anything remotely close to any kind of pure feelings, only a sly tint of victory could be seen in the curve of the grin that split his face into two, the corners of his lips pulled up with a sick feeling that seemed to be condescendence mixed in with something wicked, something that sent chills down Chanyeol’s spine. The elder was simply standing there, in front of them, hands linked behind his back, shoulders squared, and chin held high as if he was the master of this sick game, as if he really had been an owner waiting for the return of his hunting down with a lifeless body held between its blood stained teeth. He was standing alone in this wide and empty room and yet, he exuded confidence, the aura of someone who had been playing with an endless number of pawns for his whole life without ever losing a single battle. Had this confrontation taken place a few weeks ago, Chanyeol would’ve felt intimidated but now, he could only feel disgust and anger swirling around in his stomach like nausea. How had he never been able to see Junmyeon for what he really was?

 

Chanyeol had expected to feel many things on their first encounter since that night in the warehouse, two weeks ago, when he had finally discovered who Junmyeon really was and what he had done to him and Baekhyun. He had expected himself to be attacked by shame, regret, and maybe, just maybe, he had also taken into consideration the possibility of the elder still having too much control over him, over his mind and his thought process. However, the only thing Chanyeol could feel right now was the slowly uprising anger sizzling in his stomach like the first spark that would ignite a wildfire ready to spread through a whole forest and leave only ashes in its wake. He could feel it in his blood, as each drop coursing through his veins seemed to suddenly turn into lava, spreading the slowly growing rage through his whole body and sending a few drops of fire towards his soul, drowning his mind and turning each of his thoughts into heavy and dark whiffs of smoke that seemed to vanish after a while, leaving only a single thought in his head. He wanted to scratch that sly smirk off Junmyeon’s twisted features with his own fingers, he was yearning to dig a hole through the elder’s chest for each time he had ruined Chanyeol’s life, for every single time he had hurt him or anyone that he held precious to his heart. He craved to let the fire in him break free and engulf Junmyeon whole until nothing but ashes and a horrible memory of the other remained on earth.

 

However, he couldn’t do it. Not until Baekhyun was safe.

 

Junmyeon seemed to be aware of that, both of Chanyeol’s newly implanted hatred towards him and the things that held him back from doing anything to hurt him. He knew it, he knew Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to do anything to him right now and he seemed to be jubilating with that fact, the bone-chilling smile on his face growing wider with each seconds Chanyeol spent simply throwing poisoned arrows to the others with his eyes. Junmyeon still thought that he was the master of this game, the leading predator of this hunt, and despite yearning to make the other regret everything, Chanyeol couldn’t do anything. Not now.

 

"It’s been a while." The loud silence draped over the room was finally broken by Junmyeon’s slick, light, and overly cheerful voice, each of his words crawling over Chanyeol’s skin, snaking around his neck and squeezing him. However, his words weren’t directed at him and his gaze had finally shifted from Chanyeol to Kyungsoo. "How have you been?" he asked Kyungsoo who tensed up even more under Chanyeol’s hold. "I’ve spent so many years thinking you were dead and that caused me quite a huge amount of worry and grief, Kyungsoo. I’m elated to see you alive and breathing in front of me after all this time."

 

He sounded kind, actually worried and even satisfied, as if his words were genuine but now, Chanyeol was able to discern the counterfeit emotions in his voice, the underlying note of mockery and the snarl hidden beneath his words. 

 

"Drop the act already, Junmyeon," Kyungsoo snapped, hissing those words loudly and Chanyeol could only imagine how painful it must be for him to face his brother’s murderer after so many years. "We all know you were the one trying to kill us that night. You put that house on fire years ago after getting rid of my brother like the fucking coward that you are."

 

Chanyeol could feel the anger radiating off Kyungsoo in heavy waves but he did his best not to say anything, simply studying Junmyeon and trying to look around to spot any kind of clue as to where he had hidden Baekhyun. There was a single door on the left, closer to Junmyeon than it was to them but otherwise, there was nothing else, the room was entirely empty and yet, Junmyeon managed to fill it up with his disturbingly icy presence. His gaze snapped back to the elder when he heard that ugly, twisted laughter coming out of him, one that sounded like the cackling of crows and the hiss of a snake at the same time. He shook his head, gaze still not leaving Kyungsoo whose breathing was growing heavier with anger. Chanyeol tightened his hold on his arm, silently telling him to calm down. 

 

He could see what Junmyeon was trying to do. He always did that, intimidating and destabilizing  his victims to win the battle before it even started.

 

"I see you’re still not fit to be the leader you never wanted to be. You snap too easily, Kyungsoo," he said as if reproaching the latter of a flaw that could be problematic for him. However, it wasn’t difficult to sense how fake it all was and before anyone said anything else, Junmyeon’s gaze caged Chanyeol in place. "How about you, Chanyeol? It’s been a while too, how have you been?"

 

The gentle tone was sickening and Chanyeol had enough of this fake concern and his useless words.

 

"Our deal was to give you Kyungsoo and get Baekhyun in exchange. You’re wasting our time," Chanyeol finally intervened, surprising himself with the harsh words that were pushed out of his mouth by the anger boiling his veins.

 

Junmyeon pulled his eyebrows into a slight frown, not an angry one, but one that showed crafted disappointment.

 

"You’re right but I just thought that it would be nice to have a conversation together, just like the old times."

 

And Chanyeol finally snapped, unable to stay calm anymore.

 

"We never had a real conversation," he spat out towards the elder who frowned even more. "It was just you poisoning my mind with your well-chosen words and trying to control me for years."

 

Maybe he thought his words would do something to Junmyeon, maybe he thought there was still a bit of humanity left in the elder, or maybe he stupidly thought that everything hadn’t been a lie in all the years they spent together but as soon as he saw Junmyeon’s features pull into an exaggeratedly sorrowful expression, Chanyeol was only met with disappointment and it fueled his rage even more.

 

"I never wanted things to end up like this, Chanyeol," the elder said, a thick curtain of sadness draped over his features. He brought his hands in front of him and the white bandage wrapped around the hand that Chanyeol had wounded himself made it impossible for Chanyeol to believe any of his words. However, he still listened, like a habit, like a _programmed_ habit. "I just gathered you from the streets and took you in because I thought you needed help. I just saw you as a brother I needed to take care of," he said before a soft, sly chuckled escaped his lips and the sadness on his face vanished in the blink of an eye. Instead, Junmyeon trailed his gaze over Chanyeol’s body, the latter overwhelmed with shivers of discomfort as he felt his eyes on him. "I guess I stopped seeing you as a brother a few years ago but can you really blame me? You grew up to be a really handsome young man."

 

It was wrong, so wrong. He didn’t like these words, he didn’t even like the thought that while he had been looking up at Junmyeon as an almost father figure, the latter had been nurturing twisted feelings for him. However, were these even actually _feelings?_ Chanyeol didn’t want to know, he wouldn’t try to know, but there was no way someone like Junmyeon would be able to ever have pure feelings towards another human being. He had actually thought about it a lot these past two weeks and that was the only conclusion he had managed to reach.

 

"Do you hear yourself?" he couldn’t help but spat out, thoroughly disturbed by the elder’s words. The only comfort was that Junmyeon had said _a few years ago_ which meant that at least, nothing of that sort had happened when Chanyeol was still a child. "You _raised_ me. How can you say such things after confidently telling me that you raised me and saw me as a younger bother for years?" He shook his head, disbelief mixing in with disgust and shame for never having noticed such things before. Junmyeon frowned, parting his lips to say something but Chanyeol didn’t give him the occasion to. "Whatever you’re implying, it’s nothing pure, Junmyeon. It’s sick and twisted and it’s not even real. The only reason why you kept me for so long is because you like having complete control over me, I was just one of your pawns, you just saw me as a mere possession."

 

"Maybe you’re right," Junmyeon admitted, without even arguing about it, the bone-chilling smile back on his lips. "That doesn’t change the fact that I chose to keep you alive and that you’re throwing that fact away so ungratefully. I kept you alive, I gave you a home, a family, and instead of thanking me, you’ve been betraying me for months."

 

Those words were so familiar. Chanyeol had heard them dozens of times in his life. 

 

_I gave you a home. I gave you a family. I raised you. I made you into who you are today. Are you going to leave me alone? Would you be happy without your family? I’ll let you go if it would make you happy, even if it would hurt me a lot. I’d do it for you, Chanyeol._

 

He had heard it so many times and even now, those words echoed in his head with a voice tinted with worry and pain, one that always managed to seep into his head and make him forget every kind of protest he had been about to spill to Junmyeon. He had heard them so many times and Chanyeol had always backpedaled right away. He had heard them so many times and even now, he could hear them lying under the words Junmyeon pronounced out loud. He had heard them so many times but this time, they had no effect on Chanyeol other than fueling his anger and the feeling of unfairness and injustice that had been pressing down on his shoulders for so long. He didn’t want to hear them anymore. He didn’t want to give Junmyeon the occasion to pronounce them. They meant nothing. They had never been sincere.

 

"Stop trying to manipulate him," he heard Kyungsoo mutter next to him but the only thing Chanyeol could focus on was the way Junmyeon’s gaze had locked into his, trying to see into his soul, trying to put order in his mind by messing it up and crafting all of it back into the way he wanted it to be. He wouldn’t allow it to happen. He hated it. He could feel the fire in him about to burst. He hated it so much.

 

"Stop fucking lying!" he finally snapped, voice booming in the wide and empty room and echoing against the bare walls. No one flinched in the room but he could notice the twitch of Junmyeon’s eyebrow. "You’re the one who ruined my life! You’re the one who beat me up and made me watch as you burned my whole life down into ashes. You’ve been manipulating me, you’ve used me only to increase your power and I was nothing but the trophy you earned from your biggest and cruelest victory," he fired, as if he was nothing but a gun whose trigger was being pressed on again and again until no bullet was left inside. He supposed that was what he had always been, a weapon. "You killed Jongin with your own hands and you’re talking about family to me?! We were never a family, Junmyeon, we’re all pawns you like to control to your liking."

 

"I don’t like this attitude, Chanyeol," Junmyeon said and suddenly, all traces of amusement were gone from his features, the frown on his face turning into a slightly irritated one. He was getting angry, actually angry, and it was almost satisfying to see him react this way when faced with the truth. "Whatever I did, I did it for your own good. I just wanted you to be happy and that was the only reason why I did all of those things."

 

Chanyeol wasn’t even sure whether Junmyeon was lying at this point of it he really thought that everything he had done would’ve really made Chanyeol happy but it didn’t matter. He didn’t want to try to understand him anymore.

 

"Then it was really stupid of you to think that being forced into a life I didn’t want and manipulated for ten years would make me happy. Did you also think that killing my best friend would make me happy? You did all of that for your own benefit, you kept me because I made you feel powerful and because I could be useful. You killed Jongin just to blame it on Baekhyun and give me another reason to stay by your side."

 

"Enough!" Junmyeon cut him off, finally snapping as his features twisted into an expression of pure anger and he took a  step forward, closer to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo who had remained silent until now, probably to let Chanyeol fight his own battle. "I didn’t raise you just so you could betray me, Chanyeol," Junmyeon spat out, words bright and clear with anger as he brought up the past again. It was nauseating, the way he could easily switch between claiming he had raised Chanyeol and claiming that he wasn’t a brother to him anymore. "I put so much hard work into you, into making you the person that you are today. You’re the most skillful assassin of this city, maybe even of this country! And I’m the one who made you like this. I raised you like that while treating you with so much care. You’re different than all the others, I watched you grow up, I shaped you to be the powerful assassin you are today and you were supposed to belong to me," he repeated the same words he had used that day in the warehouse and Chanyeol hated it, his rage only fueled by the way Junmyeon was still speaking of him like a mere object. "We shared a lot of things, pain, anger, power, money and you’re betraying me now. For what? For a pathetic person who you claim to love," he snorted, as if the idea was absurd, while waving his healthy hand in front of him in a circular gesture.

 

Chanyeol had so many things to say in reply to Junmyeon’s long monologue but anger seemed to prevent him from saying anything as he felt his chest tighten with an emotion that felt too heavy and that he needed to get out of himself. However, before he could do anything, the single door on his left opened and anything he might have planned to say suddenly vanished into thin air when his gaze caught on the figure being pushed out of the door as it stumbled forward with a groan of protest.

 

"Baekhyun," he couldn’t help but mutter under his breath, like a prayer pronounced up to a starry sky but that would inevitably fall on deaf ears.

 

All at once, Chanyeol felt himself pulled out of a world of darkness, his eyes finally catching a glimpse of light after what felt like a whole lifetime spent in a cave shoved in the darkest corner of the world. He could feel himself blinded by the sight that he had sought ever since Baekhyun had left the training room in a fury, only a few hours ago, and as soon as his gaze caught the other’s, Chanyeol felt himself enveloped in a comforting warmth, the weight that had been crushing his chest lifting up the slightest bit now that he could say for sure that Baekhyun was alive and breathing properly. He felt himself take a step towards the other but he felt Kyungsoo nudging him the slightest, the light press of the shorter’s elbow against his arm enough to pull him out of the blinding happiness he had locked himself in, his bubble bursting as if someone had blown a string of air carrying tiny but strong sparks against it.

 

Upon a second inspection, Chanyeol unfortunately felt himself devoured by flames of rage again when he caught sight of the state Baekhyun was in, his face bruised up, one of his eyes swollen, dried blood staining the spot right under his nose, and lower lip busted to add up to the small cut on his cheek. His shirt was torn here and there as if he had fought someone who had been holding a dagger, blood dried around the little cuts Chanyeol could see on his body, where the holes in his shirt were. His hands were tied in front of him with an intricate knot and a sharp rope that he had seemingly tried freeing himself from, judging by the way the skin of his wrist was scratched off and bloodied. He looked weak, so weak and pale as he looked at Chanyeol with his wide eyes, as if he hadn’t expected to see the latter so soon, as if he had been scared that he would’ve had to get himself out of this situation alone. He was hurt, he hadn’t been treated with kindness at all for the past few hours and the sight was enough for Chanyeol to feel something sharp settle in his chest, something as icy as a lethal blade piercing through his heart as he realized that he hadn’t been there to protect Baekhyun, he hadn’t been there to help, he hadn’t been there for him while the other was suffering.

 

He felt rage screaming in his head, sizzling in his stomach, and boiling in his veins but before he could even do anything, Baekhyun suddenly started trashing violently, trying to free himself from the harsh grip that locked him down, mumbling things against the duck tape that had been used to keep him from talking. Chanyeol yearned to snatch Baekhyun away from the hands of the person who held him captive right now but his gaze met Sehun’s dark orbs and he took a deep breath in, telling himself to calm down.

 

Sehun pushed Baekhyun forward, making him advance towards the center of the room a bit more as a few unfamiliar men followed them out of the door and Chanyeol flinched when Baekhyun almost stumbled down, tripping on his own feet as he was continuously pushed forward. He could see it in Baekhyun’s eyes, that he would give everything to be able to cut off the man’s hands himself to make him pay but he was weak and if he hadn’t been able to free himself from those ropes for the past hours, then there was no way he could do it on his own now. His gaze trailed away from Baekhyun and Sehun, landing on Junmyeon again and taking in the victorious and nauseating grin stretched across his features.

 

"Let him go," he demanded, voice low and dark, rumbling in his own chest like the groan of a bloodthirsty monster waiting to be unleashed.

 

"Don’t forget our deal," Junmyeon reminded him. "Give us Kyungsoo first."

 

"I’ll only give him to you if we exchange them properly and Sehun gives me Baekhyun at the same time."

 

"Chanyeol," Junmyeon sighed, the same way he used to do whenever he was explaining Chanyeol how to properly use a dagger years ago. He hated it, both the other’s attitude and the memory. "You’re in no position to demand things now. Give us Kyungsoo first," he repeated with a final tone.

 

Chanyeol’s gaze slid down to Baekhyun once again and the latter shook his head, his wide eyes partially covered by his ruffled, inky locks. He could read it in Baekhyun’s gaze, he knew the other didn’t want him to do it, he knew Baekhyun thought that there must be another way, that they could win this if they fought hard but they had no choice and right now, with Sehun right behind Baekhyun, he didn’t want to push his luck.

 

He turned to look at Kyungsoo who had been looking at Baekhyun as well before the elder looked up to meet his gaze for a second during which Chanyeol felt him communicate tons of different feelings to him, trust, determination, strength, and encouragement. There was no trace of hesitation and Chanyeol took a deep breath in before pressing his hand against Kyungsoo’s back and pushing him forward, guiding him towards Sehun. 

 

Instantly, one of the unfamiliar men who Chanyeol supposed were Cobra members advanced forward, meeting him halfway to grab Kyungsoo’s arm and pull him where the others were standing. Chanyeol heard Baekhyun groan in protest but Sehun’s hold was tight on him and it prevented him from doing anything with his probably already worn-out body. Chanyeol stood where he was, avoiding to look at Baekhyun to focus on Junmyeon instead, every single inch of his body filled with tension and the instinct to fight that he did his best to suppress.

 

"Give him to me now," he demanded again, gaze boring into Junmyeon’s even if it made him sick to see the victorious glint he could see in there.

 

"Is this really what you want, Chanyeol? Do you really want to leave me, us, your family for him?" he asked, nodding towards Baekhyun who Chanyeol did his best not to look at. This tone was so familiar. _Would you be happy without your family? I’ll let you go if it would make you happy, even if it would hurt me a lot. I’d do it for you, Chanyeol._ He could hear it in his head before Junmyeon even pronounced those poisoned words. "Are you going to leave me alone? Would you be happy without your family? I’ll let you go if it would make you happy, even if it would hurt me a lot. I’d do it for you, Chanyeol."

 

This was so familiar and Junmyeon’s features were pulled into an expression of utter sadness, as if he was saying his last words to a cherished one, as if he wasn’t ready to let go of someone he loved. However, Chanyeol knew none of it was real. All of it was carefully crafted to mess with his mind. He knew it now.

 

"Give him to me, Junmyeon."

 

"Just give me a single word and I’ll slice his neck open," Junmyeon continued, ignoring Chanyeol’s words as he used that gentle tone he always used whenever he wanted Chanyeol to make the _best choice for us_. "You still have the choice. I’ll remove him from your life forever and he’ll never be able to bother us again. Make the right choice and I’ll forgive you, Chanyeol-ah. I’ll make you happy."

 

"You’ll never make me happy, Junmyeon," Chanyeol finally snapped, his eyes continuously jumping between Junmyeon and Baekhyun to make sure that the latter was okay and that no one was doing anything to him. "You never made me happy! I’ve never noticed until recently but all you’ve ever done is manipulating me. You don’t want to make me happy, that’s not the kind of feelings you have for me. That’s not the kind of feelings you’ll ever have for anyone! Remember that conversation we have about choosing a loved one over anything else? You’ll never be able to do that because nothing else but power and money matters to you," he spat out, satisfaction growing in him like a low simmer as he saw the way Junmyeon’s expression hardened. "You never did anything for my own good, you only kept thinking about yourself because that’s the kind of person you are. You only turned me into a killing machine that would bring you nothing but money and victory, everything you say is twisted and disgusting! You’re nothing but a power-thirsty monster, Junmyeon, and you’re trying to turn me into one too but I won’t allow you to do that anymore."

 

He was breathless by the time he was done speaking, surprised by his own words and maybe, just maybe, a little proud of himself too for finally being able to free himself of Junmyeon’s grasp, for standing up against him, for finally being able to say whatever was on his mind without the other influencing him into forgetting everything. For a split second, his gaze landed on Baekhyun and he felt his chest tightening at the way the latter was looking at him, his dark orbs glistening and sparkling like a starry night, each single diamond hung there shining with a different feeling amongst which Chanyeol could discern surprise, maybe a bit of disbelief, pride, but most importantly, the same love that Chanyeol could feel his heart beating with.

 

However, Junmyeon spoke again, voice booming across the wide room like one of a madman as he accompanied each of his words with wild gestures.

 

"You’re such a fool, Chanyeol," were his first words, filled with hatred, a feeling that Chanyeol had never thought the elder could nurture towards him but he supposed that was what it had always been, somehow. "I could offer you everything. With a single word from you, I could give you everything you’d ever want! I could give you much more than he would ever be able to. Money, power, everything! I could give you a status as high as mine if you accepted to just be by my side but you’re rejecting all of this like a fool just for a miserable street rat."

 

"Better a street rat than a heartless monster, right?" he mocked the elder, defiant, brave, and free for the first time in front of Junmyeon. His gaze slid to Baekhyun again and he could see the smile in his dark orbs despite his inability to properly move his lips, he could see it in the way his eyes took the crescent shape of the moon Chanyeol was willing to pluck off the sky just to make him happy. "And you seem to forget that I’m just as much of a street rat as Baekhyun is."

 

Junmyeon was not the kind of person who ever actually showed his emotions but Chanyeol supposed that the only good thing about spending so many years with him was the fact that he had came to learn every little quirk of his that indicated a few emotions he could never fully conceal. Anger was one of those and Chanyeol knew that the elder was positively fuming now, he could tell from the way his hands were clenched into tight fists, even his wounded one where the bandages that had been white until only a few seconds ago were now stained with a bit of red. Junmyeon was fuming and it wasn’t something that would benefit him in this kind of situation but he couldn’t help but feel a deep and thick wave of satisfaction and victory washing over him the more he looked at Junmyeon’s scrunched up face, the angry frown that pulled his eyebrows down and the thin line his lips were pulled into.

 

However, all of that seemed to disappear in the blink of an eye and the elder parted his lips only to let out a loud, sinister fit of laughter that echoed against the bare walls of the empty room, the mocking, cruel, and broken cacophony coming out of his mouth sending shivers of discomfort down Chanyeol’s spine.

 

It lasted for long seconds during which no one made a sound, not even Baekhyun, before Junmyeon got a grip of himself back and his gaze locked into Chanyeol’s again, pinning him there. His orbs were as dark as his soul, like the endless pit of all the mistakes and the cruel acts he had committed in this lifetime.

 

"You seem to forget, Chanyeol," he repeated the latter’s words, voice elevating in the air like the strong and chilling wind of the harshest winter storms Chanyeol had encountered in his life, full of ice particles and snowflakes that would cling to one’s skin and leave a flame there as it melted down into a tiny poodle. "That monsters are the only ones able to survive through this world by crushing every pathetic obstacle on their way and climbing up to the top. That’s what I am, but you? You’re nothing but a mere bullet, Chanyeol, and I’m the one who always pulled the trigger. That’s the only use you’ll ever have in this life. That was _your_ choice."

 

After those words, Junmyeon really seemed to pull the trigger to a weapon Chanyeol had never imagined having in himself and all of a sudden, everything snapped and crumbled, the tension that had been hanging heavily around the room shattering easily, its shards falling off the floor in a monstrous symphony of grunts, barked orders, screams of pain, and something that oddly sounded like a war cry.

 

Chanyeol felt something in him snap and without even thinking about it, knowing that this was the perfect moment they had talked about when planning all of this, his hand flew towards his waist where he grabbed the gun strapped there and in the blink of an eye, he aimed towards Junmyeon and shot, pulling the trigger without any hesitation, without any moment of falter, but with the blindness of a hunter that had been chasing his prey for a long while without ever being able to shoot it down.

 

However, it seemed that he hadn’t been the only one to think of this outcome and as soon as he even moved a single finger to reach for his gun, a form came out of the small group led by Sehun, throwing itself right between Junmyeon and Chanyeol to prevent the bullet from reaching its first target by letting it lodge inside his own body.

 

Everything happened quickly after that. 

 

"Keep an eye on them!" he heard Sehun bark but he barely glanced towards Kyungsoo and Baekhyun to catch a glimpse of the former freeing himself from the rope Chanyeol had loosely tied around his wrists earlier. 

 

The last thing he could see was Kyungsoo throwing himself back to aim a strong blow to the man that had been holding him with the back of his head colliding against the other’s nose before his attention was drawn in by the few men who suddenly moved away from Kyungsoo, crowding in front of Junmyeon to protect him instead, Sehun following to leave only half of the group around Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. 

 

Chanyeol could no longer pay attention to them, however, as a few of the men suddenly retrieved their guns from where they had been hidden under their clothes, aiming at Chanyeol who fired at them before most of them could, aiming towards their hands to force them to drop the guns as he did his best to avoid their bullets, solely relying on his skills as an assassin as there was nothing else he could hide behind. Fortunately, only a few of them had guns, the major part simply holding bats or other long metallic dangerous objects in their hands as they quickly approached Chanyeol who lurched himself at one of them, shooting him through the chest only to grab him and pull his body against his to use him as a poor form of shield against the others’ bullets.

 

He advanced towards the group, catching from the corner of his eyes Kyungsoo who had managed to get a hold of a gun and had gotten rid of a majority of his own opponents, before looking back in front of him to see that someone was running towards him with a heavy metallic bat in his hands. He simply threw the body he had been holding against his towards the approaching man, causing him to lose his balance as the lifeless body seemed to be heavier than he was, before a sharp pain on his shoulder called his attention, a bullet grazing him and causing more irritation than pain. He aimed, shooting the man who fell on the floor and having now neutralized most of those who had been holding a gun.

 

However, he suddenly heard someone running towards him from behind and he turned around sharply just in time to step back, ducking to avoid the bar that had been about to crash against his shoulder. He pushed the man away with a kick but he seemed to be rather quick, swinging the bar close to Chanyeol’s head again before the latter managed to shoot him.

 

"Chanyeol, cover for me!" he heard on his right, turning around to see that Kyungsoo was struggling against two men, one of them holding a knife in his hands and the other yet another long metallic weapon. He took his aim, aware of the rapidly approaching footsteps on his left, and shot twice, each bullet landing perfectly on their targets to free Kyungsoo who immediately dropped on the floor right in front of Baekhyun, who seemingly had been thrown down in the momentum of the fight, and worked on untying the other who, despite being injured, might be of great help in this fight.

 

There was no one around them so Chanyeol turned back to his own battle but the lack of attention had been a stupid mistake since he felt a sharp blow against his leg, a bat colliding with his thigh and causing him to drop down on the floor before he rolled on his back, away from the second swing his opponent had tried landing on him. He aimed once, messing up when the man moved and only able to shoot him on his abdomen instead of straight through his heart or his head but that was enough for now since the man dropped on the floor while choking up in pain and no bullet came out when he had pulled the trigger a second time anyway. He could hear Baekhyun’s voice on his left, Kyungsoo had obviously managed to free him, and Chanyeol was as relieved as he was worried when he noticed that a string of men walked right through the door that Sehun had brought Baekhyun out of, more than a dozen of them charging into the room and welcomed by Kyungsoo and Baekhyun who had managed to grab hold of a metallic bar to use as a weapon.

 

He scrambled to get up, a small jolt of pain shooting through the leg that had been struck earlier but he ignored it, throwing his empty gun to the floor as he couldn’t waste time by charging it again and simply grabbed the bat that had been used on him earlier instead. However, before he could step forward to help Kyungsoo and Baekhyun out, the latter turned to him, shaking his head.

 

"We’ll take care of these, just fucking kill the psycho already!" were Baekhyun’s first words to him and Chanyeol stupidly felt his heart skip a beat at how, despite everything, Baekhyun would fight this war with him.

 

It shot another wave of determination right through him and he chose to listen to him, turning towards the three men standing in front of Junmyeon uselessly alongside Sehun and charging forward, adrenaline and rage coursing through his veins and increasing with each rapid beat of his heart.

 

"Stop standing there and fight him, you useless idiots!" he heard Junmyeon bark and like well-trained dogs, the three men charged towards him all at once.

 

However, Chanyeol wasn’t scared and he swung his bat forward to strike the shoulder of the first one that had been able to reach him, the strength of the movement causing him to crumble down on the floor pathetically in a way that Chanyeol couldn’t help but match to the attitude of someone who had just barely joined a gang they shouldn’t be part of. Before he could dwell on the thought, however, his second opponent attacked him right at the same time as the third and Chanyeol found himself ducking to avoid both of their attacks, resulting in their bats unintentionally clashing in the air like swords. He used their moment of confusion to slide one of his legs on the floor, his ankle hooking around the calve of one of them and pulling until the guy lost his balance and fell on the floor, or rather right on top of the one who had already been on the floor and had been trying to get up. The only opponent that was still on his two feet didn’t waste time however, and he struck, hitting Chanyeol’s already wounded shoulder with his bat and causing a sharp jolt of pain to travel through his whole arm before he took a grip of himself and tightened his hold on his own bat to use it like some sort of dagger instead as he shoved it right into the man’s stomach, putting all his strength into the movement and causing the other to choke for a second and lose his balance. Without wasting time, Chanyeol hit him again, this time on the shoulder, followed by a strike right against his face that caused the man to stagger back before Chanyeol put his whole strength into his last blow, the bat landing heavily on the man’s head and causing him to drop down on the floor, unconscious.

 

He had no time to rest, however, as the other two scrambled up on their feet, lurching towards him at the same time. He heard a gunshot behind him, glancing over his shoulder but unable to actually see anything as both Kyungsoo and Baekhyun seemed to be surrounded by men even if the crowd had considerably decreased, a few bodies laying on the floor. Before he had time to inspect the situation more and dwell on the suffocating worry tied up around his neck, he turned back to his two opponents, his grip around the bat tight as he swung forward, his body twirling a little bit with the force of the movement as his weapon collided with one of his opponent’s face, the terrible noise of bone cracking not fazing him the least as he swung forward again, turning his body to the other side to strike his second opponent. However, the latter avoided it by ducking to the side which caused him to lose his balance and Chanyeol took advantage of the situation to raise his leg up, kicking him away as the sole of his feet dug into his stomach.

 

Before he could finish him off, he felt something heavy colliding against his back, a groan of pain escaping his lips as he turned around to see his first opponent who seemed to be slightly dizzy judging by the way his legs were wobbling a bit as a result of the earlier strike against his face. Ignoring the pain, Chanyeol forced himself to swing his bat forward and let it fall heavily against the man’s head, knocking him down and causing him to fall on the floor. He had no time to rejoice, however, as he could hear footsteps approaching him, his very last opponent groaning as he advanced towards Chanyeol who turned around just in time to counter his attack with his own bat, the two long metallic bar clashing in the air like swords and causing the two men to momentarily freeze as they fought to overpower each other. However, Chanyeol seemed to be stronger and he pressed down, knuckles fading into white as his grip around the handle remained tight and he put his whole weight on pressing down against the other’s weapon. It took only a few seconds of struggle until the other finally dropped his bat and Chanyeol didn’t waste a single second before finishing him off with a strike against his face and another one on top of his head once the man started crumbling down.

 

He was left breathless by the end of it, his body sore in all the places it had been struck by his three now neutralized opponent’s weapons, but his gaze was steady as he glanced to his left, taking notice of the situation of his two allies. It didn’t look nice. There was still too many people fighting them even if it had decreased and he could see that while Baekhyun was doing his best despite his weak state, Kyungsoo was having a much more difficult time. He had never been too skilled in hand to hand combat after all but he still managed to stand his ground despite seemingly being able to use only one arm. 

 

Chanyeol had half the mind to go in and help them but his attention was caught as he looked back in front of him instead, gaze landing on the only thing that now separated him from a fuming Junmyeon. Sehun was now standing in front of him, his usually blank face now covered with a really thin curtain of irritation as his dark orbs bored into Chanyeol’s. He looked as intimidating as he always did, still oozing that aura of power and danger that seemed to be carved into his whole being but Chanyeol knew that he was only another obstacle separating him from doing what he had to do and therefore, he stepped forward, silently praying to whoever was listening above him that both Kyungsoo and Baekhyun would be okay on their own. He couldn’t hear his exact words, his heavy breathing and his heartbeat too loud for him to pay attention to anything else, but Junmyeon leaned towards Sehun a little bit, probably muttering orders into the taller’s ear, words that seemed to pull the strings attached to Sehun’s limbs as the latter immediately nodded once before stepping forward towards a still advancing Chanyeol, his hand reaching for his waist before he brandished a dagger.

 

The blade was sharp and long, it carried the shine of a weapon that hadn’t been used on too many people which could only mean that it would be much more effective even if that much was obvious by the length of its blade. The handle was red and Chanyeol couldn’t see it properly as it was covered by Sehun’s fingers but he could discern a few swirls that were similar to what had been on Junmyeon’s lighter that day and it wasn’t difficult to know that it was yet another cobra that would be used against Chanyeol. However, he didn’t even flinch, he didn’t even falter as he slowly advanced towards Sehun, the latter stepping forward as everything suddenly seemed to turn into slow-motion around them, their gaze catching each other and clashing like two completely different worlds. He knew that by the end of this, only one of these two worlds would remain.

 

"Are you going to hide behind your little puppy like you’ve been doing for years now, Junmyeon?" Chanyeol called out, gaze never once leaving Sehun’s as they both stopped a few steps away from each other. Sehun’s eyes narrowed and he could see his left one twitching a little, the movement barely noticeable but still not escaping Chanyeol’s eyes.

 

"Why fight when I can just watch you receive the punishment you deserve and enjoy the show?" he heard the elder reply in a harsh tone that he couldn’t conceal behind his usual mocking lilts. 

 

"You’ve always been a coward," he muttered, not particularly caring whether Junmyeon would hear him or not as his whole attention was poured into Sehun who had still not uttered a single word.

 

The few seconds spent simply sizing each other up had been enough for Chanyeol’s body to recover a bit from the fights it had just been through and wanting to end this as quickly as possible, he stepped forward, eyes still locked into Sehun’s as the latter remained where he was, his stance showing the perfect image of someone who wouldn’t get out of a fight without winning it.

 

"Aren’t you tired of obeying to each of his orders like a well-trained puppy?" he threw at the other, slowly and carefully stepping closer to him.

 

"You’re more of a puppy than I am," was the only thing Sehun retorted, his whole face carefully void of any kind of emotion as he took a single step closer to Chanyeol as well, gaze never once leaving him.

 

"At least I’m not a mere puppet ready to be discarded."

 

That seemed to hit Sehun right on spot and the next thing he knew, the latter charged towards Chanyeol who immediately mirrored the movement, rushing towards his opponent and ignoring every scream of pain or grunt coming from the familiar voices that were just on his left, a little behind him. Instead, he poured all his attention into this battle, tightening his grip around his metallic bat, footsteps as loud as his wild heartbeat before the horrible screeching coming from Sehun’s blade meeting Chanyeol’s bat drowned everything else out. He had managed to stop the immediate attack that Sehun had aimed towards his chest, countering it with his bat and pushing hard to make the other stagger back which, however, didn’t actually happen since Sehun was holding his ground well. He had an advantage over Chanyeol whose only mean of defense was a bat, something much less lethal than a dagger, so he poured everything on simply trying to avoid the attacks for now until Sehun would eventually feel a bit tired by it.

 

Chanyeol did his best to step back for each step Sehun took forward, keeping a defensive stance and blocking most of Sehun’s attacks as they engaged into a lethal and dangerous dance around each other, their weapons clashing, their grunts twirling in the air to mix together. Sehun feigned an attack with his dagger on Chanyeol’s shoulder only to wait for the latter to step to the left just to land a kick on his leg, causing Chanyeol to stagger a bit before he caught a grip of himself and swung his bat forward, using Sehun’s own strategy against him to feign an attack only to strike on the other side, his bat landing heavily on the other’s side, crashing against his ribcage and pulling only a faint sound of pain out of his mouth. It only seemed to anger Sehun more and his blows only quickened after that, the blade slicing through air and almost grazing Chanyeol’s neck before the latter stepped back just in time to avoid it, continuously stepping back after that to avoid each of Sehun’s blows, blocking some of them with his bat but not able to escape all of them as the dagger sliced against his arm after a while, the cut not too deep but painful enough for Chanyeol to groan.

 

Sehun stepped back after that, a corner of his lips lifting into a smug smirk as he seemed to take a few seconds to enjoy this ridiculously small victory. Chanyeol didn’t give him the pleasure of seeing pain on his features, keeping control of his expression as he tightened his hold around the bat and stepped aside, Sehun following until they were simply walking in circles, neither narrowing nor increasing the distance separating them as they battled with their gaze for a few seconds, waiting to see who would be the owner of the next blow. 

 

Chanyeol took it upon himself to move after a while, lurching himself towards Sehun who wasn’t really surprised but who didn't have the time to counterattack either, simply stepping to the side to avoid Chanyeol’s bat. However, the latter had predicted this move and before his opponent even finished stepping aside, he threw a leg up, using his other leg to twirl until the sole of his combat boot crashed against Sehun’s neck, causing him to bend down to the side a bit while letting a satisfying groan of pain escape him. However, Sehun took advantage of his position and the next thing Chanyeol felt was a sharp pain shooting up his ribs as his blade sliced through Chanyeol’s waist, the cut still not deep enough to bring Chanyeol down since he stepped back to try avoiding it but still rather painful. However, he managed to land a blow against Sehun’s face with the tip of his bat, using the other’s moment of destabilization to push him away with a kick, following him with the intention to crash his bat against his body again but his opponent stepped back, avoiding the attack. 

 

Sehun’s features were now completely bare of his controlled blankness, rage and hatred dripping from each of his features, reflected on the glistening trail of blood flowing down from his nose. He didn’t wait, however, charging towards Chanyeol again and the latter once again ran towards him to meet him halfway, putting everything into this single attack as he dropped his defenses and simply aimed just as Sehun did, heart pounding in his chest and pain soaring through his body as his bat clashed against Sehun’s wrist, a strangled shout of pain escaping the latter who had no choice but to drop his dagger after a few seconds of struggling.

 

The attack costed Chanyeol his weapon too, however, as the blade had sliced through his hand before Sehun dropped it, causing him to let his bat fall as well and leaving the two of them bare of anything but their own bodies to fight. Sehun didn’t lose any second, not even wasting time by trying to get his dagger back from the floor as he simply crashed his fist against Chanyeol’s nose instead. The latter wasn’t able to avoid that attack but he managed to get a hold of Sehun’s wrist instead, holding him down with a hand and destabilizing him only to crash his other hand against his face in a heavy fist. If there was something Chanyeol was confident in, it was hand to hand combat but Sehun was as good as he was so without wasting another second, he kneed his opponent in the stomach, throwing him back and causing him to crash on the floor. However, Chanyeol wasn’t quick enough to step back and avoid the foot that Sehun had slid along the ground, hooking it on his ankle and pulling until Chanyeol landed on the floor, pain shooting through his back.

 

Before he could linger on that pain, he felt Sehun settle heavily on his thighs, preventing him from moving as he then proceeded to shower blows after blows on Chanyeol’s face, his movements aggressive, not properly calculated as if he had let anger take over his rational side. Chanyeol tried freeing himself, grabbing hold of his wrists but unable to do so as the other couldn’t even leave him the occasion to open his eyes. It all suddenly ended, however, but before Chanyeol had the time to do anything but turn his head to the side, he felt strong fingers circling his neck in a tight grip before Sehun squeezed, gradually cutting off Chanyeol’s breath.

 

The latter could feel his mind slowly turning hazy but there was no trace of panic in him as he knew that cold feeling could be one’s worst enemy during a fight. Instead of panicking, Chanyeol tried looking beside him, hoping to find anything that would get him out of this while Sehun seemed to be too far gone in his madness to pay attention to anything but his neck. He couldn’t properly see anything for a while and the thought that he hadn’t caught a glimpse of Baekhyun and Kyungsoo for a while worsened everything but after a few seconds, Chanyeol’s eyes managed to land on the gun that was laying on the ground next to him. It might not be loaded but it was his only chance right now so Chanyeol reached out with a hand, forcing on his wounded arm until he could feel his fingertips grazing the gun before he pushed on his arm more, letting out a choked grunt the moment he managed to grab it properly.

 

Without hesitating, he gripped it tightly and with a single movement, he brought it against Sehun’s ribs, close to his chest, and pulled the trigger in the span of a few seconds, the loud sound of a gunshot echoing in the already loud room. Suddenly, the grip around his neck loosened and the other’s body fell down on him heavily, the characteristic warmth of blood seeping from Sehun’s clothes to his own suddenly flowed to him as his heart was beating faster than ever but Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel relief embracing him as he could breath properly again, ugly and loud coughs escaping his mouth one after the other.

 

He didn’t have time to waste, however, so he pushed Sehun’s body away from him, rolling it to the side in order to scramble up to his feet, with some difficulty as he was dizzy from the lack of air and his whole body was in pain. He glanced at Sehun whose eyes were wide open, the same glint of madness shining in his eyes, albeit a bit dimmer now. He wasn’t dead yet but Chanyeol knew he wouldn’t be able to move from the way he was wheezing for air and rapidly losing blood. 

 

"Boss!" he heard on his left and when he glanced over his shoulder, he could see that only three men were left to battle off with Baekhyun who was taking care of two of them while Kyungsoo seemed to be struggling with one of them, a hand pressed to his waist where blood oozed from, probably out of a wound pierced into his body by a bullet. 

 

The three men were looking at Chanyeol, visibly intending to rush onto him to protect Junmyeon now that the only obstacle separating him from the elder was neutralized but his two friends didn’t allow that to happen, keeping them busy despite the obviously exhausted state they were in. Nonetheless, amidst his struggle to breath in more air into his lungs and stop coughing, Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel that the pain around his neck was washed away by a deep sense of relief. All three of them were still alive.

 

"Go, Chanyeol!" he heard Baekhyun scream, voice considerably carrying less strength than it had when he had first talked to Chanyeol a few minutes ago but still snapping him out of his daze. It squeezed his heart, sending a pang right through it as his body and his unconscious yearned to properly fight alongside Baekhyun like he had always been supposed to do.

 

However, Chanyeol listened to him, knowing that he only had to focus on a single thing, and his gaze finally landed on Junmyeon, as sharp and precise as an arrow aimed towards a fixated target. The sight that greeted him wasn’t an unpleasant one and his gaze trailed over said target, taking over the rather unusual state Junmyeon was in, his usual calculated expression full of crafted emotions traded for one of pure rage as he stood a few feet away from Chanyeol, his whole body shaking like a leaf caught in the middle of a thunderous summer storm, although it wasn’t out of weakness or fear. It was out of anger and even if Junmyeon didn’t even glance over Chanyeol’s shoulder to take a look at Sehun’s body sprawled on the floor, he could see the glint of betrayal in his abyss-like eyes and as Chanyeol started advancing towards him, the anger that oozed off him only seemed to increase. Chanyeol was not surprised to see that he already had a gun tightly held in his uninjured hand.

 

"You don’t have anyone else to hide behind now, do you?" he couldn’t help but ask, voice still a little hoarse but breathing almost gone back to normal now.

 

Deep inside of him, there was a small spark of joy at the prospect of finally being able to reach Junmyeon without anything else standing between. Finally, he would be able to make him pay for everything he had ever done, to him, to Baekhyun, to Jongin, to Kyungsoo, and to Seungsoo whom he didn’t even remember but knew had been undeserving of the end he had gotten. At this point, there was nothing but the need to end this as soon as possible and he would’ve expected to feel a bit of hesitation, maybe a bit of fear at the thought of having to take Junmyeon’s life but none of it was present in Chanyeol and he was infinitely grateful of that. He didn’t want to make this harder than it should be and he supposed that after everything that had happened tonight, it was only natural for him to have killed the image he used to have of Junmyeon in his head. The elder wasn’t someone he looked up to anymore, he wasn’t someone he wanted to make happy, he wasn’t the man who had given him a shelter, a family, and a new life.

 

He was nothing but a monster and Chanyeol was proven right as soon as Junmyeon raised his hand, aiming at him with his gun without any kind of hesitation. Chanyeol didn’t falter, however, continuing to walk towards him while he slowly raised his hand as well, pointing the muzzle of his gun right back at the elder whose eye twitched at the sight.

 

"Are you really going to kill me, Chanyeol?" 

 

Somehow, Chanyeol would’ve expected to hear those words as yet another fabricated emotion, something crafted to destabilize him and overpower him all at once but he knew that it wasn’t the case. These few words sounded more genuine than anything Junmyeon had ever said to Chanyeol, as if he was genuinely curious about it, and as if he already knew the answer but wanted to ask just because he couldn’t believe it. Chanyeol didn’t feel the usual pinch in his chest but he stalled for a few seconds, not out of hesitation, but because he wanted to grave this image into his head.

 

"Are _you_ really going to kill me, Junmyeon?" he asked back, only a little mocking as he repeated the elder’s words. He didn’t know what pushed him to ask but he had the feeling that it was the right question.

 

It seemed to strike a nerve in Junmyeon however and the next thing he felt was the loud scream of a gunshot and the pain of a bullet lodging into his shoulder. It was painful and only added to the already present exhaustion in his body but Chanyeol didn’t stop walking, he ignored the pain shooting up through his whole body, gritting his teeth and never once looking away from Junmyeon as he continued walking towards him. He caught the slight tremor in his hands, his fingers tight around the gun that he had just fired at Chanyeol and his chest heaving up and down, as if his heart was beating madly against his ribcage. There was an unfamiliar glint in his eyes now, it wasn’t madness, it wasn’t fear, nor was it betrayal. It wasn’t love either, nor admiration. Maybe it was the feeling of finally not being able to deny the fact that your most prized possession had turned its back on you. Chanyeol didn’t want to name it but he knew that it had been the only thing to push him into making a mistake. He had shot Chanyeol but Junmyeon knew how to properly aim and he wouldn’t miss a target even if he was shaken up. He had aimed Chanyeol’s shoulder, not any vital part of his body.

 

It was ironical how despite everything, Junmyeon was the one unable to kill Chanyeol and perhaps, that was the only reason why he had never actually been the leader of this wild and excruciating hunt. 

 

"Are you going to kill me instead of helping your friends who are on the verge of losing against my men? They might be dead by the time you shoot me," Junmyeon muttered, voice low, trembling like a cornered animal, like a hopeless man who was desperately trying to use his last card.

 

It didn’t work, however. Chanyeol didn’t look away from him even once. He wanted to mark this image into his head and never forget it.

 

His heart continuously beat against his chest, echoing in his fingertips and in his head, fast, wild, like the ticking of an alarm that counted down the seconds left before an explosion.

 

A beat.

 

His finger tightened on the trigger, his aim didn’t falter and he knew that as soon as he’d fire, the bullet would pierce right through Junmyeon’s dark, ugly, and soulless heart. 

 

A beat.

 

Junmyeon’s finger tightened on the trigger as well and Chanyeol saw his efforts to stop his hand from trembling.

 

Another beat. 

 

"Your death will be the only memory I’ll keep of you," were Chanyeol’s last, final words to the man who had disguised the crumbles of his life by building up a new, glittering, and fake home on top of them, making Chanyeol a prisoner inside of it.

 

Then, he started pressing on the trigger a bit harder, eyes wide open as he drunk every single drop of fear he could see in Junmyeon’s face.

 

A beat.

 

Suddenly, his loud heartbeat was overpowered by the sound of a bone-chilling scream coming from behind him, followed by another, and a smaller gasp before all of it faded away when something whizzed right beside Chanyeol’s arm, air shifting to tickle the small cut on his flesh the slightest bit before Junmyeon parted his lips in a scream of pain, the loud clatter of his gun crashing on the floor following right after.

 

A small, sharp knife was planted on the back of his hand, blood oozing from the wound.

 

A beat.

 

Chanyeol turned around, the alarm bells screaming in his head skyrocketing as the sound of footsteps approaching echoed in the suddenly silent room.

 

On the next beat of his heart, a voice arose in the room, strong, sly, mocking, and quiet all at once.

 

"I think it’s about time someone carves a new name on that throne of yours, Junmyeon."

 


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

Silence had never been so loud to Chanyeol’s ears, louder than the worryingly fast dance of his heart against his ribcage, and neither had it ever been so stifling, as if it had materialized into a gigantic monster taking over the whole wide room and had chosen Chanyeol as its first victim, its heavy fingers wrapping around his neck tightly enough for him to be unable to breath for a few seconds.

 

A long time ago, maybe a whole lifetime ago, Jongin had told him that a voice could be the sharpest dagger someone could shove right into a target’s heart and he hadn’t said that out of a desire to sound mysterious or wise, he had based that statement upon what he had done for close to ten years. Jongin’s voice had always been his main weapon, after all, his voice along with his appearance and the wicked intelligence that had gotten all of them out of trouble too many times for Chanyeol to even keep count of it. Jongin had always used his words, his beautifully crafted words to convince, manipulate, deceive, and negotiate and each time he had let a few words out of his mouth, coupled with that handsome smile of his, it was guaranteed that he would be the winner of a battle led by words only.

 

He had been right, Chanyeol thought now, as silence wrapped all around him and he couldn’t even move a single inch of his body. After all, communication was what linked every human being together and it was also what could break their ties in the blink of an eye, in the second it took for one to pronounce a single word that, if not chosen carefully, could break someone’s whole soul. A voice could be shaped, it could be a weapon, it could be a soothing and warm blanket in the middle of a storm, it could be the single push you needed to climb up the steps of a staircase that you’d always dreaded, it could be a harsh shove that threw you down the edge of a cliff, it could be the trigger to emotions you didn’t you were even able to feel, and it could be the thickest mask you’d ever carry with you.

 

Chanyeol had heard a lot of voices in his life, he had heard many versions of a single voice, a single constant version of other voices, he had heard how a voice sounded when someone was giving their last breath away, how it sounded when someone was begging, when someone was thrown in the eye of a storm of pain, and the voice used when someone was trying to shape your own mind. He had also heard voices inside his own head, many different ones that never spoke during the day but always, _always,_ came to find him when the moon shone brightly over its kingdom of stars. Those were never loud. They never screamed. They only whispered and yet, they were always louder than anything Chanyeol could’ve ever heard in his life.

 

However, this was louder than anything else. _This_ voice was almost louder than those whispers, it was even louder than the silence that followed it and perhaps that was because Chanyeol had always associated that voice to the silence before a storm, a wise silence that never was broken unless necessary by its owner.

 

The owner of that voice took a step forward, freeing himself of the darkness gathered in the hallway and stepping into the room instead, letting the dim light shine upon his features and enlighten everyone about his identity even if Chanyeol was familiar enough with that voice to know who it belonged to without having to see a face. Even without hearing that voice, seeing that dagger planted on Junmyeon’s hand and the three similar daggers planted on the chest of the three last men that had been fighting Baekhyun and Kyungsoo at the elder’s orders was enough for Chanyeol to know that this wasn’t just a trick, that Minseok was really standing on the threshold of the door. After the single sentence he had uttered, he seemed to be back to his characteristic silence, simply watching them from where he stood even if his gaze seemed to be locked on Junmyeon who was holding onto his now wounded hand, his eyes wide open and bloodshot as he looked at the man standing across him.

 

Confusion and disbelief twirled all around Chanyeol like a whirlwind he was stuck in and his gaze continuously jumped between Junmyeon and Minseok who battled with their eyes before he glanced at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo who had not moved an inch either. Kyungsoo’s face was rather blank, pain mostly staining his features as he was injured both on his arm and on his waist and seemed to have a hard time even standing on his legs after being shot twice. Baekhyun, on the other hand, seemed to have earned a few more bruises than when he had been tied up and held up by Junmyeon’s men, blood oozing from a fresh wound on his leg that looked similar to the result of a bullet grazing one’s body. However, his expression was way more different than Kyungsoo’s and Chanyeol’s confusion only increased as he saw the relief in his eyes and the grin that slowly stretched on his bloodied lips, a smile that looked like one that belonged on a winner’s face. 

 

Baekhyun seemed to sense his gaze on him and when his eyes met Chanyeol’s, full of relief and of comfort, it all suddenly made sense to him.

 

The talks of someone helping Baekhyun and giving information to him amongst Cobra’s men. Baekhyun’s confirmation of having someone who helped them. What had happened on the meeting before Junmyeon had decided to set a trap for Baekhyun right after they had fought when Chanyeol had seen him with Kyungsoo in the warehouse. There had only been Jongdae, Junmyeon, Sehun, and him in the room that day, when they had discussed how things would happen, but Junmyeon had said that Minseok was already aware of the plan. Minseok who had always kept quiet about everything, who never made too much of a comment except when he had blamed Chanyeol for focusing on his feelings that day, in Junmyeon’s kitchen. Minseok who had once told him to be careful. Minseok who was someone Chanyeol both knew very well and knew nothing about in the way that perfectly fitted what Baekhyun had once said to describe the person who was helping them when Chanyeol had asked if it was someone he knew. 

 

_You can’t ever actually know someone for real. You don’t actually know anyone._

 

He didn’t actually know Minseok for real. Judging by the pure rage and the disbelief clouding Junmyeon’s expression as he tried grabbing the dagger planted on his hand with his bandaged one before pulling it away from his flesh with a grunt of pain and letting it drop on the floor, Junmyeon had never known Minseok for real either. 

 

Chanyeol didn’t actually know what was happening, he had no information about the context, or if Minseok could really be trusted but he glanced at Kyungsoo who nodded at him with a quirk of his lips and then, he slowly lowered the gun that had been pointed at Junmyeon until that moment. He couldn’t comprehend anything right now and something still churned in his stomach but if there was someone he could trust, it was Kyungsoo so he allowed himself to relax the slightest bit. They were all alive, in a bad state, but all alive and that made it easier for him to bear the pain still coursing through his whole body. They were alive and Minseok was there to help them. It was okay now, Junmyeon was on his own against the four of them and there was nothing he could do to win this battle anymore. 

 

However, the tension hanging around the room was too thick and heavy for Chanyeol to actually let himself go so he simply watched as Junmyeon finally broke the silence, obviously shaken up and in pain even if he knew the grimace on his face was a mere result of the disbelief and the small glint of betrayal he could see in his eyes.

 

"What the hell are you doing, Minseok?" he asked after getting a grip of himself, the pain of his newly wounded hand visibly forgotten as he seemed to both not know anything about what was going and sizzling at the thought of what could possibly be going on. 

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help but rejoice at the thought that finally, Junmyeon would be able to taste what it felt like to be betrayed by someone you thought you could lay your life between the hands of. His gaze slid back to Minseok who stepped away from the doorway but still stood in front of all of them, distance still separating them. His eyes never once left Junmyeon and Chanyeol wondered how long this has been going for, what had pushed Minseok to do this, and how Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had even managed to convince him to do this. He didn’t know any of that but if there was one thing he could tell by the small yet almost sadistic smile hanging on Minseok’s lips, it was that he enjoyed this more than Chanyeol would’ve thought.

 

"What the hell does it look like I’m doing, Junmyeon?" he snorted, mimicking Junmyeon’s words, voice quiet but sharp like the hiss of a snake right before it injected venom into its victim’s body.

 

Junmyeon seemed to finally realize what was going on as soon as he heard those words and for a split second, when Chanyeol looked back at him, he caught sight of an expression he had never ever expected to see on the elder. It was something that looked like the broken and cracked surface of a mirror, an expression one would make when they’d feel claws digging into their heart. It was an expression that spread heartbreak and betrayal over every singe inch of Junmyeon’s being, slicing right through the mask Junmyeon seemed to have glued to his face years ago. It was a feeling Chanyeol was painfully familiar with and yet, he didn’t feel an ounce of sympathy for the man who had been deserving of such feelings more than anyone else in this world.

 

However, Junmyeon got a grip of himself in the blink of an eye and pulled his features into that same grimace of anger he had shown Chanyeol only a few seconds ago. Realization seemed to hit him hard and its consequences were probably worst than anything the elder had ever felt.

 

"All these years, we’ve been working together," Junmyeon started again and his voice was lower now but it still carried ashes of anger and flames that spread all over the room, his rage echoing against the bare walls that he thought would witness his ultimate victory but that simply cheered on his downfall instead. "We’ve built all of this together, you’re the person I trust the most, we’ve been together in this since the very beginning. What are you doing?" he asked, demanded, as if he still was leading everything, and as if he still was in any position to demand anything to anyone.

 

"The closer you are to the King, the easier it will be for you to slit his throat open in his sleep," was the single answer Minseok seemed to be willing to give Junmyeon, each of his words seeming to materialize into ice shards in the air with the single aim of piercing through Junmyeon’s soul.

 

Chanyeol had never expected to see such a scene unfolding in front of him, out of everyone, he had never thought that Minseok would be the one to end up betraying Junmyeon. He had always been so quiet, always obeying Junmyeon’s words, always planning everything together, and never once doing anything out of Junmyeon’s words. There was no reason why he would’ve ended up betraying Junmyeon when he had never done it even once in ten years and even longer than that since they knew each other well before Venom had been founded, when Seungsoo was still alive. Chanyeol found it utterly confusing and surprising but if Minseok was willing to be an ally, then he would accept him just as Kyungsoo seemed to have done.

 

However, Junmyeon seemed to accept the reality much more quickly now and instead of properly relying to Minseok, the only thing he did was let out a small chuckle, a barely audible one that was followed by another and another before the volume of his laughter slowly increased and he threw his head back, a loud cacophony of ugly cackling and laughter filling the room. The sound didn’t carry any hint of amusement though, there was only tints of disbelief, along with the now familiar sizzle of rage in his voice. He was laughing out of rage like a madman that had lost everything, including his last thread of sanity. Perhaps he was even laughing at himself, at his own blindness, and at the fact that he hadn’t seen this coming.

 

Discomfort filled Chanyeol’s whole being as everyone else but Junmyeon kept silent and for the first time that night, he felt the urge to run away, to end this once and for all, and finally run away with Baekhyun to a place far away from this vicious mess. 

 

"Stop this right now, Minseok," Junmyeon finally said once he was done laughing, demanding yet another thing as if a few words had always been enough in the past to get Minseok to do whatever he wanted. It probably had, but it wasn’t the case right now and he seemed to know that since his voice was still dusted with insanity. He brought his newly injured hand up, rubbing it over his face as if to get a grip of himself but only smearing a bit of blood on his cheek and adding to his mad appearance.

 

Minseok seemed unfazed by it, however, and Chanyeol was once again reminded of how Minseok had never once made Junmyeon angry in the ten years Chanyeol had spent together with them. They had always been close and Junmyeon had never once had to raise his voice at Minseok who never had given off the feeling of being intimidated by Junmyeon. All of them held respect for Junmyeon and all of them had known that there was a limit between them, Chanyeol had known not to demand too much of the elder and to take his words back as soon as Junmyeon seemed upset, even if that had never really been a natural reaction. Jongin had known to never miss the deadlines Junmyeon gave him to gather information about people because the latter was punctual and everyone around him should be. Even Jongdae knew when to shut and stop making angering and silly jokes with a single glance thrown by Junmyeon to him.

 

There had never been anything of that sort with Minseok, however, he never seemed intimidated by Junmyeon despite obeying to him better than anyone else. He never averted his gaze, never was startled by a glare Junmyeon could send him, and never had he treated Junmyeon as if the latter was his owner and he owed him his life.

 

That seemingly hadn’t changed even today and Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel the anxiety in him increase the slightest as he spoke again.

 

"Stop giving me orders," he  spat out, calm and cold. "Stop acting like you control everything. I’m getting tired of that."

 

"Everything makes sense now," Junmyeon laughed, the sound coming off choked. "They were always one step ahead of us, always ungraspable whenever we were about to reach them. You were the one helping them all along."

 

Minseok stayed silent at that, letting Junmyeon process everything as he simply watched. Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, both of them as silent as he was.

 

"What did they give you?" Junmyeon spat out again when he got no answer, voice increasing in volume and echoing in the room with anger. "Money? A promise of power once this would end?" he asked before letting out a choked, bitter chuckle. "All these years, I’ve given you all of that. I made you into who you are. I gave you power and money and that’s how you’re going to betray me?"

 

"You keep uselessly repeating yourself, Junmyeon." Minseok cut him off and Chanyeol managed to discern the small hint of impatience in his voice. "That’s exactly what the problem is. All these years, I’ve been your shadow. I’ve always been here for you, doing everything you told me to do at a single snap of your fingers. But I’m not your guard dog, I’m getting bored of being yet another one of your weapons."

 

Chanyeol had never heard Minseok pronounce so many words at once and amidst the surprise, he still managed to understand Minseok. He was just like everyone else for Junmyeon, a pawn, someone to use, a weapon, and someone he’d probably be willing to discard as soon as he’d grow useless. That was how Junmyeon viewed everyone around him and Minseok had dealt with it for so long, it was only expected of him to grow tired of it after a while.

 

"That’s the deal we’ve made years ago, Minseok. We agreed on things being this way. We agreed on increasing our powers when I’d completely take over Cobra. I was about to do it and you know it," Junmyeon replied though gritted teeth and Chanyeol could see that he was clenching his hands into fists again, blood oozing both from the fresh wound on one hand and through the bandages around his other hand. He didn’t seem to notice the pain though, he was too far gone in his madness and whatever was going through that wicked head of his.

 

"I worked so hard for both Cobra and Venom and you never gave me what I deserved. You gave me money, power, a title but none of these were as good as I deserved. Without me, you wouldn’t be where you are today and yet, you never managed to see that," Minseok said after taking a deep breath in, as if trying to control himself. 

 

His voice was eerily calm, he was too disturbingly calm, as if he wasn’t about to cut off the hand that had fed him for years, as if it would be nothing short of easy for him to take Junmyeon’s life away like he did to his many victims so often. His gaze was almost totally blank and no emotions were reflected on his face just like it never was the case. Minseok had never been a man of emotions and Chanyeol had never thought that it would actually be possible for Minseok to feel anything, even greed and injustice since he was the messiest assassin of Venom, often beating up his targets until they ended up unrecognizable or leaving them in a bloodbath after losing his temper. 

 

He had always been the most feared amongst Junmyeon’s assassins and now, Chanyeol could see why. He was so cold, like winter storm throwing ice shards and snowflakes around in a moment of unstoppable madness only to dim down once it had done all the damage it could. His gaze might be empty but his eyes were sharp and strong, not even straying away from Junmyeon once, his child held high, his shoulders squared and giving him an intimidating aura despite his average height. 

 

"And what? Are you siding with these fucking street rats to take over the empire I built on my own and worked so hard for?" Minseok stayed quiet, simply tilting his head as he watched Junmyeon lose every bit of control he had on himself and simply stepped towards him, slowly, step by step. "You think they will give you more than I did? They won’t. You don’t deserve more than I’ve given you. You’re just another fool betraying me," Junmyeon suddenly screamed but without faltering even as Minseok continued approaching him.

 

"Don’t make your last seconds pathetic."

 

Minseok’s words were like the harsh slam of a door closing in and echoing in an empty and lifeless building but Chanyeol felt his heartbeat picking up as he watched the elder walk towards Junmyeon, still as slowly, still never once pulling his gaze away from him and moving almost in slow motion, as if he wanted to enjoy every single second of this. This sight wasn’t an unfamiliar one, Minseok had always been the kind of assassin that would take great pleasure in scaring his victims to death before actually taking their life away and Chanyeol had witnessed it more than once but it was still so odd to see him treat Junmyeon like any other target he had ever been assigned.

 

"You don’t mind me doing the honor, Chanyeol, do you? I waited longer than you did." Minseok addressed him for the first time and Chanyeol couldn’t find the strength to say anything, simply looking at Junmyeon who caught his gaze and returned it with a look full of emotions, only for half a second. 

 

Junmyeon never begged, even now, he wasn’t exactly begging but the way he had looked at Chanyeol was clear. He was asking him to do something, to help, he was _demanding_ him to do it just like he had done so many times in the past, as if he had forgotten that Chanyeol wasn’t in his grasp anymore. However, he didn’t feel any kind of pity towards Junmyeon who, despite everything, still stood his ground, looking nothing less than the leading party of a hunt that he had been lost in. He still held his chin high, he still glared with every ounce of his dark soul, he still looked nothing less than authoritative and powerful despite the new glint of madness Chanyeol could see around him, highlighted by the blood stains on his face and the rage his whole body seemed to be trembling with.

 

Chanyeol felt as if he was just a witness of all of this, watching this scene from a comfortable seat and through a screen that he’d be able to switch off as soon as things would get too much, but that wasn’t the case. Minseok’s footsteps echoed in the deafeningly silent room, Chanyeol’s heartbeat resonated in his head and his whole body was in pain, his legs sore, the cuts on his arm and on his waist still burning and sending jolts of electricity through his whole body, the feeling only heightened by the bullet that was still lodged somewhere in his left arm. He could feel the warmth of his blood still trailing down his arm, dripping on the floor when his shirt and his jacket’s sleeve couldn’t soak it up anymore. It was painful and Chanyeol wanted nothing more than to crumble down on his bed and sleep the pain away until all of this would end but he couldn’t do that, he didn’t want to do that when he was witnessing such a striking scene.

 

Soon, only a few steps separated Minseok from Junmyeon and once the latter realized that, Chanyeol noticed that he seemed to lose a little bit of his façade and stepped back a bit, the slightest, as if it had been more of an unconscious reaction than something meant to protect himself. He wouldn’t be able to protect himself and that much was confirmed when Minseok slowly brought one hand up, slipping it under his jacket and probably reaching for a holster since when his hand reappeared, there was a gun held tightly between his fingers. Without hesitating, he pointed it at Junmyeon and despite having done the same thing only a few minutes ago, Chanyeol felt his breath hitching in disbelief because despite the words he had heard coming from the both of them, the thought that this couldn’t be happening, that Minseok would never betray Junmyeon to help them instead lingered in the back of his mind.

 

Junmyeon seemed to have the same reaction as he froze before suddenly perking up and shaking his head, that same ugly, disconcerting smile stretched widely on his lips and splitting his face into two, a broken chuckle escaping him from time to time as Minseok continued stepping towards him, no trace of emotion on his features. 

 

Chanyeol could barely discern anything over his deafening heartbeat and the sudden cacophony that he seemed to hear in his head, like the song made out of the scream of a car crashing against a building, a train going off its rails, and the cackling of crows at night all at once. His chest was heaving up and down, his gaze rapidly jumping between Minseok and Junmyeon who shook his head violently, muttering things under his breath, things that Chanyeol couldn’t and didn’t want to hear. 

 

Then, he moved, all of a sudden, bending his body forward, leaning down and reaching for the gun that he had dropped on the floor when Minseok had thrown a dagger at his hand. Something tied around Chanyeol’s throat. Watching was different that being the one to point a gun at the man whose death he wished more than anyone else’s. He didn’t do anything, though, simply watched as, while Junmyeon was scrambling to take a hold of the gun with his injured hand, Minseok only tightened his hold around the gun, back straight, shoulders squared, chin held high, and eyes narrowed down on his target. 

 

Silence was still screaming loudly in the room, barely broken by Junmyeon’s fumbling and Minseok’s footsteps but not overpowering the cacophony of jumbled thoughts in Chanyeol’s head. Junmyeon finally managed to grab hold of the gun, hissing in pain, like a cornered animal, but gaze still dark and full of rage as he looked up at Minseok who was still a few steps away from him. Junmyeon stretched his trembling hand out, aiming towards Minseok whose current role had been played by Chanyeol only a few minutes ago. 

 

For a split second, a thought hit Chanyeol. He had been supposed to be the one to do it. He was supposed to be the one to kill Junmyeon to make him pay for everything, for all that he had done to every single person Chanyeol held close to his heart. He had been about to do it, he would’ve done it had Minseok not interrupted him and even now, he still wanted to do it. He had promised himself to do it, it was the only way for him to break free from the life Junmyeon had forced him into and it would be the only thing helping him sleep better at night. He wanted to do it. He needed to do it. 

 

However, before he could even part his lips to say something, a loud gunshot echoed in the room, shattering the silence and causing Chanyeol’s heartbeat to cease for a split second before skyrocketing.

 

They had both aimed at each other but Minseok had been quicker and as Chanyeol watched Junmyeon’s body slowly crumble down and crash on the ground with a muffled but heavy sound, a trail of blood flowing down the newly pierced hole between his eyebrows, he felt as if his whole life was crumbling down. It wasn’t a life he would mourn, however, it was a life he had never wanted, a life that had been tainted with lies and crafted emotions, a life that Chanyeol would only benefit from letting go of. Even if he felt a part of himself dying at that exact moment, it was only a part he had wanted to kill all along, the part of him that had been weak, stupid, and manipulated into doing things he’d regret for the rest of his life.

 

The gunshot seemed to echo endlessly amongst the four people left alive in the room, in the whole building, and for a few seconds, Chanyeol found himself unable to look away from Junmyeon’s body, watching as life bled out of him, crimson, dark, and as abundant as the sins he had crafted with his own fingers in this lifetime. It took him another few seconds to realize what had just happened.

 

It was done.

 

Junmyeon was dead now, he was free, all of them were free and even if Chanyeol might carry the regret of not being the one to take his life away for a long time, he couldn’t help but feel something in him bubble at the prospect of justice finally falling into place. It was still a bit of a bittersweet feeling, however, it wasn’t easy to tell himself that the man he had uselessly given ten long years of his life to wasn’t part of this world anymore and he knew that it wouldn’t have had the same effect on him had he been the one to pull the trigger on Junmyeon. Although, he felt no trace of sadness, no hint of regret, and especially nothing akin to the deep feeling of mourning he knew he would’ve felt if all of this had happened a few weeks ago. The only thing Chanyeol could feel at the moment was a bit of joy and the singular feeling of freedom, as if the chains that had been holding him down in the deepest part of an ocean made out of lies, manipulations, and pain had finally snapped, leaving him the occasion to swim up to the surface. 

 

He took a deep breath in, filling his lungs with that new sensation of freedom, savoring it even if pain still caged his whole body down, before he finally looked up from Junmyeon and observed Minseok instead. The latter had lowered his gun after pulling the trigger and was still on the same spot he had been on when shooting Junmyeon, standing still, frozen, almost like a statue, as his gaze was fixated on Junmyeon. Chanyeol couldn’t discern anything in his eyes and that was nothing unusual but he couldn’t help but wonder what was going through Minseok’s mind now. Did he regret it? Was he mourning the friend he had spent maybe half of his life with? How had it felt to pull the trigger on him? How could he manage to stay emotionless through it all?

 

It didn’t matter, though, not when Chanyeol could feel the fire that had been sizzling in the pit of his stomach for days, weeks now, slowly vanishing into thin air, relief washing it away slowly but surely, the way water always gently danced along the shore of a beach to fill in any trace left on the sand and give it its usual smooth illusion again once it retracted back into the sea. He looked away from Minseok, his gaze naturally drawn by Kyungsoo who was looking at Junmyeon’s lifeless body without saying anything, the emotions in his eyes clashing together as his whole body seemed to be lighter despite the wounds still bleeding all over it. It was as if a big weight had been lifted off his shoulders and even the pain wasn’t enough to make him curl on himself anymore. He had waited to see this for so long and maybe, a burden he had carried on his shoulders for long years had vanished into thin air the same way life had dimmed in Junmyeon’s eyes as soon as the bullet had lodged into his head.

 

Then, he felt Baekhyun’s gaze on him, his heartbeat picking up the same way it always did whenever he could feel the other laying his eyes on him, and as if naturally drawn by a force Chanyeol would never be able to understand, he looked to the side and caught Baekhyun’s gaze. His eyes were wide, filled with disbelief, but bright, sparkling with a new glint that Chanyeol hadn’t seen in his eyes for a long time now. Hope, a bright gleam that shone right into Chanyeol’s soul, like the small slit of light slipping under a closed door and drawing him, pushing him to take a step closer before he simply erased the small distance separating them, messily tucking his gun under the waistband of his jeans and finally, _finally_ taking Baekhyun into his arms.

 

Impatient as ever, Baekhyun didn’t even bother waiting for Chanyeol to reach him, he stepped closer to him as well, meeting him halfway as their bodies crashed against each other in a rush before they turned that small collision into a gentle but tight embrace, Chanyeol’s arms circling Baekhyun’s body as tightly as the latter had wrapped his own arms around Chanyeol’s shoulders. Chanyeol felt himself breathing for the first time in the past hours now that Baekhyun was in his arms, safe, alive, and letting his heart beat against Chanyeol’s like he so often had done in the past days. He felt his heart adjusting to it, rejoicing in his ribcage as it finally could be in contact with its one and only twin after so long. He felt it beating lightly, peacefully, and yet energetically as Baekhyun buried his face against his neck, his breath tickling Chanyeol who never once let go of him even if the pressure was agonizing on his wounded arm. 

 

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now that they were free to love each other without living with the fear of being separated forever and Chanyeol  breathed it in, Baekhyun and this new, unfamiliar sensation of freedom he had never known he craved so much.

 

Baekhyun was the first to pull away, looking up at Chanyeol with his sparkling eyes and the blood and bruises smeared all over his beautiful face. Even in this state, Chanyeol knew Baekhyun would always be the most beautiful sight he’d ever lay his eyes upon and, listening to what  the melody in his heart told him to do, he gently cupped Baekhyun’s cheek, watching as the latter’s lips curled into a small yet bright and genuine smile as he leaned into his touch, one of his hands coming up to rest on Chanyeol’s. They stayed silent for a bit and Chanyeol could feel Kyungsoo’s gaze on him, probably one full of fondness and amused exasperation, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from Baekhyun as they communicated with nothing but their eyes and their beating hearts for a few seconds.

 

It had only been a few hours since their argument but Chanyeol had lived every single second of it like a lifetime full of fear and regret, all kinds of scenarios popping in his head as he couldn’t help but consider the fact that he could have been late, that they could have failed, that Kyungsoo’s plan might be too weak but now, he knew that Kyungsoo had been so confident in it because he knew that Minseok would be there to help them. Kyungsoo had been right after all, he could feel that Baekhyun was hardly standing on his two feet, his whole body weight leaning against Chanyeol after probably the hours Junmyeon had spent ordering his men to beat him up. It was a wonder that he wasn’t too harmed and that he would recover after some rest and the same went for Kyungsoo. He was wounded and upon a closer look, he had been able to see earlier that he had indeed been shot on his side and that there was a long gash along his left arm.

 

They would be okay, though. They would all be safe now that Junmyeon was dead. They had done it and he could see the same joy reflected in Baekhyun’s eyes as he never once looked away from Chanyeol. They had so many things to talk about, so many apologies to make, and so many things to fix about their relationship and their attitude concerning each other but at that moment, nothing else but being able to squeeze Baekhyun into his embrace mattered.

 

"It’s done," Baekhyun whispered after a while, breaking the silence. Chanyeol didn’t know whether his voice was so weak because his body was or because he was overwhelmed with the thought of what had just happened. 

 

"It is," Chanyeol smiled back at him, taking a deep breath in before looking over Baekhyun’s shoulder, gaze falling on Kyungsoo who was looking at them with a smile that could only belong to a person who was proud of what they had done and felt happy by the sight offered to him. He was smiling at them like an older brother looking at his two younger and troublesome siblings whom he loved despite everything. "We’re free," he said, looking back at Baekhyun after giving Kyungsoo a wide and warm smile.

 

They were all free now and things would be difficult from now on but Chanyeol was willing to bear with it a bit more of it meant that at the end, Kyungsoo would take what he deserved and Baekhyun and him would be able to leave and go far away from this cruel city. It held too many bad memories for them and they might have grown up in it, it might have been the place where everything had began but Chanyeol didn’t want this bloodthirsty city to drag them down more than it already had. They could travel out of the country, build a new life together or come back here after a few years. They could travel all around the world, laughing together as they watched the sun rise from different cities, eating all kinds of weird food all over the world. They could get lost in the busy street of a completely unfamiliar city and Chanyeol could watch in disapproval as Baekhyun would smile at a stranger and compliment them as his fingers slipped into their pockets to snatch their wallet away. They could just drive together all around the country with nothing but the sound of each other’s heartbeat accompanying them. 

 

Perhaps Baekhyun would like to settle down somewhere else, maybe he’d like to go back to America where they could buy a house and never get out of it unless completely necessary because Chanyeol didn’t even want anyone else to be blinded by Baekhyun’s beautiful smile. Maybe they could hold hands in the streets without fearing anyone else’s eyes on them, maybe they could drop a few bills to those homeless and tired children who ran around the cold streets with worn out clothes, holes in their shoes, and dirt on their face, looking the way they both had years ago. Maybe they could love each other freely, maybe Baekhyun would talk him into getting a dog or moving houses once every year, maybe Baekhyun would end up making him lose his mind with his teasing words and his mystery-filled eyes, maybe Baekhyun would never allow Chanyeol to let go of his hand again, maybe Baekhyun could read all of his thoughts right now, maybe he was thinking the same way as he looked up at Chanyeol, his smile pure and untainted under the harsh treatment light had given him. 

 

Maybe Chanyeol would never ever have to fear surviving at night without light.

 

However, his happy little bubble full of dreams and possibilities concerning their life starting from now on was burst in a split second when the sound of a gunshot exploded into his ears again, followed by the muffled thump of a body falling lifelessly on the floor.

 

Baekhyun jumped away from him, his wide and surprised eyes staring into Chanyeol’s for a second before he looked behind him, Chanyeol following his eyes to find his own widening when they took in the sight of Kyungsoo’s body on the ground, facing up and letting the both of them see the new wound that had been pierced through his chest, right where his heart should be.

 

All at once, Chanyeol felt explosions going off in his head, panicked screams and confused whispers communicating in his thoughts as he stood still, the blood in his veins turning into ice, his heartbeat pounding against his temples, and his breath cutting off for a second as everything seemed to freeze around him. However, Baekhyun’s loud scream seemed to shatter everything as he called for Kyungsoo’s name, stepping away from Chanyeol and dropping down on the floor next to Kyungsoo, the sound of his knees colliding with the ground loud in Chanyeol’s ears.

 

"Kyungsoo!" Baekhyun called again, louder, insistently, despair increasing in his voice when no word was uttered from the other. Chanyeol saw his hands trembling violently as he slowly brought them up, letting them hover above the wound on Kyungsoo’s chest as if he didn’t know what to do, as if touching the blood oozing from the hole there would make it real. "Kyungsoo," he muttered this time, voice breaking on the last syllable and trembling as much as his hands did when he brought them tor rest on the elder’s shoulders and tried shaking him a bit.

 

However, there was no reaction from him, even if Baekhyun spent ten whole seconds shaking him and muttering his name over and over again. Chanyeol could only watch, barely even hearing Baekhyun’s words above the loud sound of his heartbeat but able to feel every single emotion that was flowing in Baekhyun’s voice and dripping into him, one by one, until he soon felt himself drowning all over again. There was despair, a deep, thick trace of despair in Baekhyun’s voice and his back was now turned to Chanyeol but the latter knew that his features were scrunched up into a pure expression of sorrow and pain, his voice wobbling with the tears that probably couldn’t even gather in his eyes from the shock of the situation and Chanyeol could feel the same emotion in himself. 

 

Suddenly, everything dawned upon him and his chest tightened once the shock was wearing off as he realized what had actually just happened. It hit him like a truck, like a harsh slap in the face, and his chest heaved up and down in anger as he watched Baekhyun crumble down so easily after having spent hours locked up here, beaten up, and having fought alongside them to unlock the freedom they had all craved from the very beginning. The pain coursing through his whole body suddenly shifted into big, orangey, and hellish flames that he could feel licking through his whole soul as he couldn’t believe that this, all of this had amounted to yet another stupid mistake and a betrayal from someone they had relied on, even if Chanyeol had learned about it only a few minutes ago.

 

In a single and sharp movement, he turned around, Minseok’s expressionless features meeting him and the glint of pleasure in his eyes fueling the fire damaging Chanyeol’s whole being. He stood there, in front of them, his gun still held tightly in one hand but lowered down as he simply watched, gaze focused on the whole scene as if he took great pleasure in it. His gaze snapped up to bore into Chanyeol’s and when a corner of Minseok’s lips was pulled up into a sly and rare smile, Chanyeol knew that he had indeed taken great pleasure in killing two people who had been after each other for such a long time.

 

"What the fuck did you just do?!" he couldn’t help but scream, voice bursting and booming across the whole room when he couldn't take the assassin’s silence anymore. Why had he done that? Hadn’t Kyungsoo told Chanyeol that Minseok was safe only a few minutes ago? Hadn’t he just killed Junmyeon to help them? Hadn’t he just saved Kyungsoo and Baekhyun by eliminating their last opponents? "I thought you were with us."

 

Had they been betrayed again? Had they made a stupid mistake again? 

 

The only answer Minseok found them deserving of seemed to be his loud, high, and slow laughter. It was an odd combination, a sound that could almost scream a headache right into Chanyeol’s skull, a somewhat clear melody carrying the hints of madness and murder that Minseok had worn all over him for years like a mask.

 

Chanyeol heard Baekhyun quieten down as soon as Minseok started laughing and by the time he was done, the former was already on his feet, any trace of sadness and mourning swept away by the pure rage Chanyeol could feel oozing form his whole body, from his tensed shoulders, from the bruises and the angry tears on his face, the blood on the fingers that he clenched into fists, and the hoarse and strong voice with which he pronounced his next words.

 

"We had a fucking deal," he screamed will all his guts, obviously too shaken up to control himself. "You had to help kill Junmyeon and this wasn’t part of it," he continued, pointing to Kyungsoo’s lifeless body.

 

Kyungsoo’s lifeless body. The mere thought of Kyungsoo surviving through the war they had just won only to be killed mercilessly by one of their allies was worse than anything else, even worse than the thought of Kyungsoo ending up this way after having helped them so much along the way. He could feel the anger rising, the rage taking over even more when Minseok laughed again, louder than before.

 

It ended abruptly though, and in the blink of an eye, every ounce of emotion was wiped away from his features again, giving him the image of a madman unable to control the few weak emotions that he had left. His expression was blank again and Chanyeol felt a shiver running down his spine at the disturbing sight.

 

"Do you really think I would be interested in the small portion of power you were planning to give me once Kyungsoo would be at the head of Cobra?" he asked, almost blankly, obviously not even expecting an actual answer.

 

"That’s what we settled on when we talked about you helping us," Baekhyun accused him through gritted teeth and Chanyeol could see that he would do anything to slice Minseok’s throat open with his own hands right now but it would be too dangerous to get closer to him.

 

They were at a disadvantage, Baekhyun’s body was weak and Chanyeol was starting to feel dizzy from the blood loss, the hand that he had pressed against his arm to stop the bleeding not effective at all when it had been almost more than ten minutes since he was shot. Minseok had waited for all of them to kill each other before intervening for the best part, he had probably taken great pleasure in watching Chanyeol go through so many opponents and had decided to kill Junmyeon himself for his own personal pleasure when Chanyeol would’ve been able to do it on his own. Now, both him and Baekhyun were too exhausted to properly fight an opponent as strong as Minseok was.

 

"Did you actually think I accepted working for you because I thought you’d give me more power than Junmyeon did?" Minseok asked, mocking them and looking down at them as if they were stupid. He stopped for a second, bringing his gun up and gently trailing his fingers over the muzzle in a show of power before he loaded it in a sharp movement and let his arms fall again. "I only took part in your stupid little hunt because it seemed interesting enough. Do you think I’d need any of you to get rid of Junmyeon? I could have done it years ago if I’d wanted to back then."

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help the frown that settled on his face as soon as Minseok had pronounced those words as if everything had just been a show to watch for him, a game that he took part in out of boredom when to Chanyeol, it was much more than that. It was a battle he had lost a part of himself in, a war that had taken his best friend away from him, a cruel fight that had now taken a part of both Baekhyun and his life away. They had lost so many things because of this, had gone through so much pain, and Chanyeol had lost almost half of his life because of this damned issue but here Minseok was, treating them as if they had been nothing but entertainment to him all along. In a way that was what they had been, Minseok had always simply watched from afar, always leaning against a wall and crossing his arms over his chest, observing, studying, and never speaking unless spoken to first.

 

He could feel Baekhyun sizzling with anger and pain next to him, his whole body trembling probably both from the rage and the exhaustion. Why was Minseok still speaking to them? Why hadn’t he just shot all three of them instead of stopping after getting rid of Kyungsoo? He didn’t know but as soon as he heard Baekhyun snarling like an angry and bloodthirsty predator, Chanyeol’s hand shot up to grab his arm, ignoring the pain in his own injured one and gritting his teeth as he held Baekhyun back before the other even had the occasion to simply throw himself at Minseok and attack.

 

They were too weak. They were both cornered.

 

"So that’s what you were after all along? Cobra?" he asked, spitting out that godforsaken, poisonous, and cursed name. It only brought trouble to everyone. It only hurt everyone and pulled anyone who got too close to it down an abyss-like hole.

 

"I should’ve known from the way you played on both sides, always helping Junmyeon as much you’ve helped us," Baekhyun muttered through gritted teeth, not even fighting Chanyeol’s hold on him. "You’re the only one who never once lost this game."

 

"You’re wrong," Minseok finally said with a light sigh, as if all of this was starting to get on his nerves. Chanyeol observed him. He still had a gun in his hand and probably a few knives hidden somewhere under his clothes, maybe in his sleeves, maybe somewhere just as easily reachable for him. He knew that he still had a gun too but Baekhyun had no weapon to fight with and they were both barely able to stand on their two feet. They had no chance to make a stupid move. They had to be careful. "I’ve always willingly lost against someone, mainly against Junmyeon but I’m tired of that. Now, I’ll make sure that there will be no one left on my path, I won’t let any potential winner remain. The path to the power I rightfully deserve will be clean and steady."

 

As soon as his last word had left his lips, he raised his armed hand again and shot, leaving Chanyeol just enough time to move away, pulling Baekhyun along with him as they stumbled back and away from the bullet’s range even if judging by the small hiss of pain coming out of Baekhyun’s lips, the bullet had managed to touch him. A quick glance his way was enough for Chanyeol to notice that it had fortunately only grazed his arm, however, and that was enough for Chanyeol to grab his own gun, aiming at Minseok.

 

"You never deserved the chances given to you both by Seungsoo and Junmyeon. They’ve been stupid in thinking that you were worthy of any of this," Minseok spat out, finally letting the blood-chilling emotion that was hatred seep into his voice as his gaze locked into Chanyeol’s. This was what it was about. This was what it had always been about, whether Chanyeol was worthy or not of something he didn’t even want.

 

"Run!" he screamed to Baekhyun as he pulled the trigger once which didn’t seem to faze Minseok who had ducked down as soon as Chanyeol aimed, rolling on the ground to avoid the bullet that lodged right where he had been only a blink of an eye ago. 

 

The gun might soon be empty, it wasn’t his, just one belonging to the men he had just killed in the fight and he had no idea how much it had been used so he readied himself for the possibility of being completely at the mercy of Minseok but he was careful not to show any trace of fear on his face. 

 

"Why the fuck do we have to run again, just fucking shoot him," Baekhyun screamed back at him as Minseok shot again, the loud sound of a gunshot echoing in Chanyeol’s head and in his ribcage, startling the both of them as the bullet lodging right in front of their feet, as if the elder had purposefully chosen to aim right there, to scare them away instead of hurting them or maybe just to intimidate them more.

 

"We don’t have the choice, just fucking run!"

 

Chanyeol’s grip on his weapon remained tight as he never once pulled it away from Minseok who was on his feet again, looking at him through his dark and soulless eyes, stepping towards him slowly as if he didn’t fear the bullets that Chanyeol could fire at him. The latter pulled the trigger a second, praying with all he had for a gunshot to explode in the room but the only thing that reached his ears was a small click as the magazine had entirely emptied itself by that point.

 

All at once, he felt cold dread take over his whole body, dusting drops of cold sweat down his spine and along his right temple as he pulled the trigger again despite knowing that it would be useless, a bullet wouldn’t magically appear there and nothing would come and save them from Minseok’s monstrous presence either. The latter’s face broke into a wide, victorious, and animalistic grin that was closer to a grimace than anything else and he kept his gun pointed at them, slowly taking a step closer to them. Chanyeol could feel panic whispering into his ears, pushing him to make a mistake, dragging him down the edge of despair but he ignored it, focusing on Baekhyun’s hand gripping his arm and Minseok’s icy aura getting closer and closer to them.

 

Why wasn’t he shooting? Why was he simply slow advancing towards them? 

 

It didn’t matter. At the moment, he didn’t need to understand the situation, he only needed to get both Baekhyun and himself out of there safely so he simply grabbed the latter’s hand, pushing him forward enough for Baekhyun to squeeze his hand tightly before pulling him as he started running towards the door. Chanyeol matched his pace, their hands linked as he continuously looked over his shoulder, Minseok’s euphoric laughter echoing behind them as they easily, _too_ easily, left the room and ran into the hallway. When he had first walked through it, it had been with Kyungsoo by his side but now, they were leaving the elder’s dead body inside and they would never be able to run side by side again. The thought caused pain and sorrow to slice through his heart sharply but Chanyeol had no time to dwell on his feelings when he could hear Minseok’s slower footsteps echoing behind them as they continued running.

 

He was slower than they were, however, and that was as relieving as it wad distressing because Chanyeol couldn’t help but look over his shoulder every two seconds, their heavy and rushed breaths all he could hear along with Minseok’s footsteps and the loud hammering of his heart against his chest. They had to get out of here even if Chanyeol had been the one to chase targets all his life and now he was the one reduced to nothing but a weak prey that had no means of defending itself against a hungry predator.

 

"Why isn’t he shooting?!" he heard Baekhyun ask next to him just as they reached the door, crashing against it with the momentum of their running.

 

"I don’t fucking know," Chanyeol groaned as he pulled on the door that seemed to refuse even budging the slightest bit no matter how hard Chanyeol pulled on the knob and pushed the door. He violently shook the doorknob but the door refused opening and it wasn’t difficult to conclude that Minseok had locked it behind him when entering the building.

 

However, the footsteps were getting louder and Chanyeol’s head was swarming with thoughts, panic once again seeping into his blood as he heard Baekhyun speak next to him without being able to decipher his exact words. He looked around but there was nothing, no trace of keys on the floor, nothing but a few stones on the floor and the heavy and rusted door that had opened so easily earlier but that was now impossible to push open. They had to get out of here. He had to open this door. He had lost too many people. Baekhyun had lost too many people. He wouldn’t let anyone separate them again, not Minseok, not even Death. 

 

"Stall him," was the only thing he said to Baekhyun who looked at him with wide, confused eyes before understanding as soon as Chanyeol backed away from the door.

 

He caught Baekhyun looking around as well before he leaned down to reach for the small stones that were on the floor right before Chanyeol ran towards the door again, putting all his weight in use as he crashed his shoulder against the heavy door, pain shooting through his whole body and even reaching the pulsing wound on his other arm. The door didn’t budge a single inch however, only the loud sound of his body crashing against the door resonated in the hallway before it was mixed in with the sound of stones falling on the floor as Baekhyun probably threw them to Minseok. He backed away, rushing to hit the door again as he knew Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to stall Minseok for long with a few mere stones even if he could aim properly enough for Chanyeol to hear a soft sound of pain through the cacophony in his head before it was drowned out when he threw himself against the door again. 

 

It budged a bit, slowly giving in and Chanyeol put his whole strength into it again even if he could feel his arm slowly going numb but after a fourth try, the door was finally thrown open and without wasting a second or paying attention to his body’s screams of pain, Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s hand and pulled him out as they started running towards Chanyeol’s car. It was still parked right in front of the building and as they ran towards it, Chanyeol could still hear muffled footsteps behind them but no sound of gunshot or any other weapon that could potentially harm them.

 

"Why isn’t he shooting, Chanyeol?!" Baekhyun asked again, distress and panic so clearly discernible in his voice that Chanyeol felt his own cold emotions decrease a bit because one of them had to stay strong, one of them had to prevent the other from making mistakes. "He could’ve killed us five times already but he’s not doing anything."

 

"Get in," Chanyeol said as he grabbed the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the car as he let go of Baekhyun’s hand and headed towards the driver’s side, getting in and barely even settling properly before he started the engine and immediately drove off as soon as Baekhyun had closed the door after settling in as well, tires screeching and screaming as Chanyeol did his best to escape. "There’s a gun in the glovebox," he informed Baekhyun whose breathing was as heavy as Chanyeol’s was, their chests heaving up and down and their lips parted to let out heavy puffs of air.

 

His hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, knuckles fading into white as his gaze kept raking over the view in front of him, the streets narrow and lacking any kind of light. The fact that he could still feel blood slowly oozing from his arm and drying around the wound only made everything worse, the blood loss making him dizzy and the pain shooting through his whole body and sinking its claws into his core costing him the ability to properly focus on driving. However, Chanyeol didn’t linger on that, foot pressing on the accelerator as hard as he could to get the car to reach a high speed that would bring them away from Minseok and his eery silence and disturbing lack of actions. Baekhyun had taken his words into consideration, leaning forward to pull the little boxy compartment open with his trembly fingers before he rummaged inside while Chanyeol gritted his teeth and did his best not to let the car stray off the road.

 

He couldn’t allow himself to mess up when they finally had the occasion to escape and reach a safe place Minseok would never find them at. He would get them to a safe place. He would make sure Baekhyun would be safe.

 

He thought back on Minseok’s attitude, on the fact that he had never actually tried killing them despite having taken both Junmyeon and Kyungsoo down. He had finally shown hatred towards Chanyeol and yet he hadn’t actually shot them despite perfectly being able to do it so many times, as Baekhyun had just said. Why? Why didn’t he just end everything like he said he would? Why did he let them go so easily? He didn’t know, he couldn’t know when his head was buzzing with so many thoughts, each of them made louder by the headache that was pounding against his temples in rhythm with his hammering heart. Why? Why couldn’t they ever put an end to all of this? Why was it so difficult for them to get rid of a life they had never even wanted to begin with? What was Minseok trying to do?

 

A single glance at the rearview mirror was enough for him to see two flashes of light reflected on the glassy surface and suddenly, the answer dawned upon Chanyeol, bright and heavy. Behind them, not too close to their car but not too far away from it either, there was another car and Chanyeol couldn’t see who was behind the wheel but he could recognize the vehicle that belonged to none other than Minseok.

 

It was obvious. Why hadn’t he known? Why hadn’t he thought about it? Minseok had always loved the chase, he had always said that chasing a target was the most thrilling part of the whole process of killing someone. He had always taken deep pleasure in watching his victims squirm in fear and play with their mind before he finally got bored enough to put an end to their suffering with a single slice of his knife against their neck. He liked being messy, he liked the thought that whoever would find the dead body would probably retch their heart out right beside it after nausea hit them at the ugly and traumatizing sight he’d leave them once he’d be done. He liked the chase. He wanted to chase them, he was simply playing with them the way a cat cruelly played with a mouse before putting an end to its suffering once it would grow bored of the game.

 

"There’s no gun in here!" Baekhyun screamed, alarmed when he glanced up, drawn in to the rearview mirror by the light reflected on it as Minseok got closer to them.

 

Chanyeol pressed harder on the accelerator all of a sudden, the engine rumbling as it jumped into a higher speed, causing their body to be throw back against their seat. Beads of sweat trailed down his temple, pain jolted through his arm as he kept his grip on the wheel tight and secure, his other hand resting on the gearshift. He had planned all of this. From the very first moment he had been standing in front of the building, Minseok had planned all of this and Chanyeol could feel rage simmering in his veins, dizziness hitting his skull, but determination taking over his whole body as adrenaline was pumped into him with each harsh, violent, and hammering beat of his heart.

 

"Fuck," he heard Baekhyun curse but he couldn’t look at him, gaze continuously jumping from the road to the rearview mirror to see that Minseok was behind them, getting closer. "Take a left!"

 

"There’s no light there at all, why would I take a left?!" Chanyeol screamed back at him despite himself, unable to use a normal tone of voice when they were being chased by someone who wouldn’t hesitate to kill them at all.

 

His eyes flickered up to the rearview mirror. Minseok was getting closer.

 

"We can’t go back to the house anyway, just do as I say!" Baekhyun groaned urgently.

 

Chanyeol cursed under his breath, not even knowing why they couldn’t go back to the house but choosing to trust Baekhyun as he suddenly pushed his foot on the brake and swerved the car to the left, the tires screeching in protest as he drove into a small alley that was barely even big enough to fit the car. It had probably taken Minseok aback, however, so as soon as he managed to keep the car from crashing on the walls of the buildings surrounding them, Chanyeol pushed the engine to drive in full speed again, chest heaving up and down both out of pain and because he had to get them out of this situation, he had to get them to a safe place.

 

"Is there anywhere else we can go?" he asked, taking a right turn to get out of the small alley and driving up a normal road again, one hand resting on the gearshift and continuously moving it to get the car to go faster. 

 

Baekhyun seemed to think for a bit, shaking his head at first and mumbling under his breath before he looked at Chanyeol.

 

"There’s this little house but it’s out of the city, in a small town next to Seoul. We can go there if we manage to get rid of him," he informed Chanyeol before twisting around to look behind them.

 

"We’ll pass through the center of the city first," he decided in a split second, taking another left turn as he started recognizing the place they were in and took the path to the bustling part of the city instead.

 

"Why? Are you crazy?!" Baekhyun hissed next to him.

 

"We can’t get rid of him here!" he screamed back at him, not needing Baekhyun to question his decisions when there was literally nothing else they could do at the moment. "There’s just us, we can’t lose him if there’s nothing to hide behind."

 

Baekhyun mumbled something under his breath but before Chanyeol could even try deciphering it, the other suddenly cursed loudly.

 

"He’s right behind us!"

 

Chanyeol’s gaze snapped up to the rearview mirror and he couldn’t miss the reflected headlight gradually getting closer to them.

 

"Chanyeol!"

 

His attention was called by Baekhyun’s scream and when he properly looked in front of him again, he could see that his lack of attention of two seconds was enough for the car to head right into a stop sign at an intersection and he let out a small sound of surprise before swerving the car to the left at once, the tires screeching as the speed hadn’t been slow enough for him to do that. The sudden motion caused his body to be thrown to the left as well, his injured arm crashing against the door and sending trails of pain through his whole body before he got a grip of himself and tried to gain control over the car again. He heard Baekhyun curse loudly next to him, his hand colliding against the door as Chanyeol saw him cling both to his seat and to the handle on the roof of the vehicle.

 

His heart was beating too loudly, almost overpowering the groan of the car as it zigzagged a little over the road before Chanyeol managed to gain control over it again and pushed it to drive straight, at full speed, his gaze jumping to the mirror to see that Minseok was still behind them albeit with a bit more distance separating them now. He paid attention to the road again, they were close to the city now, the streets were lighted up properly and it made it easier to see but it was a bit blinding for Chanyeol who had to blink a few times to get rid of the hazy sight and the dizziness momentarily spinning his head around.

 

There were more cars around them now, parked on the side of the street and not too many people around since it was way past midnight but the more they drove into the city, the more he knew there would be people around. This city never slept and especially not at this time, when it was still not too late by partygoers’ standards. However, that was perfect, Chanyeol knew that they had more chances of losing Minseok in a crowded space so he looked around carefully, fighting the pain and the urgency running through his veins to concentrate instead. He didn’t know where Baekhyun would direct him to go but they could take care of that later, once they’d be safe and away from Minseok.

 

However, the next second, he felt something colliding against the back of the car, the vehicle lurching forward for a second as Chanyeol’s wide and bloodshot eyes glanced at the mirror to see that Minseok was right behind them, pushing his car to bump against theirs again. The vehicle lurched forward again and Chanyeol did his best to keep control over it, pressing his foot on the accelerator as hard as he could to put some distance between Minseok and them again.

 

"Careful!" Baekhyun screamed again, his voice echoing in Chanyeol’ head like a hammer, along with his heartbeat and the dizziness.

 

He looked at the road and they were nearing the busy streets, they weren’t alone on the road anymore so there was a car right in front of them, going considerably slower than their car did and they were driving right towards it. He glanced to the left, his hands following his eyes to turn the wheel and pull the car to the left as well as soon as he noted that there was no car coming from the opposite side which allowed him to drive right past the slower car that honked at them, the loud sound worsening Chanyeol’s headache as it was only a wheeze in his ears since they drove right past it too fast.

 

However, before he could rejoice about having avoided that obstacle, he could hear the rumbling of  an engine right next to him, loud in his ears, and when he turned his head to the left, his eyes met Minseok through the windows of their cars as they were driving side to side, Minseok occupying the lane for the cars coming form the opposite side since there was no one. Their eyes met only for a single second but it was enough for Chanyeol to take in the insanity he could see in his dark orbs along with the vicious smile stretched over his lips right before Minseok swerved his car dangerous close to theirs. Out of reflex, Chanyeol pushed the car to the right to avoid it but it caused the tires to rub against the sidewalk as they wheezed past a lone man walking there. His scream was as deafening as the metallic sound the tires screeched and Chanyeol pushed the car to away from the sidewalk again only for Minseok’s car to bump against the side of his, pushing him back again and causing him to momentarily lose control of the vehicle.

 

"Go faster!" Baekhyun screamed at him and for the first time ever, Chanyeol could hear the hint of fear in his voice, something caused by the fact they had nothing to do to protect themselves besides running away.

 

He cursed loudly and pushed the car to its maximum speed again, the engine groaning loudly as Minseok’s car collided against their back again, pushing the car to the right before Chanyeol swerved it to the left and then to the right again when he lost control before gaining it back a few seconds later. He blinked, once, twice, thrice before the black dots covering his sight disappeared, his head and his heart pounding, the pain still planting its claws into his body. He tried ignoring it, however, because a car was coming from the opposite side, on Minseok’s lane, headlights flashing in signal and honk booming to them as it asked Minseok to move. 

 

This was their only chance so Chanyeol crushed his foot against the accelerator and drove as Minseok had no choice but to move his car behind them again. He didn’t have to worry about the other bumping against them anymore so he drove, fast, as fast as he could and soon, there was more distance between them. However, they had finally entered the busiest streets of the city and when he saw a car in front of them, Chanyeol heard Baekhyun’s loud gasp before his eyes flickered to the opposite side of the road where no one else was coming from. He glanced at Minseok’s car in the rearview mirror before pushing the car to go faster and suddenly swerving it to the left to drive past the car only to drive faster when a car was coming towards them from the opposite side, Baekhyun screaming his name again before Chanyeol swerved the car to the right to regain his own lane again, the honking car wheezing past them.

 

He glanced at the mirror and the white car he had just passed by was behind them, which meant that Minseok hadn’t been able to follow them and wouldn’t for a bit since a trail of cars was now coming from the opposite lane. There was another car in front of them and it caused them to slow down considerably as they were now in the center of the city but Chanyeol took a left at the next intersection, driving as fast as he could and continuously glancing at the rearview mirror to see that Minseok was following them again. He passed the car that was in front of them since the opposite lane was available but Minseok followed them, although almost crashing into a car suddenly appearing on the lane. 

 

He couldn’t focus on the small victory, however, as a numbing pain shot up his wounded arm, causing him to groan loudly as his arm trembled, begging to be let down and rest but Chanyeol couldn’t let go of the wheel so he ignored it, shaking his head to get rid of the dizziness.

 

"Are you okay? You’ve lost too much blood." Baekhyun’s panicked voice arose from next to him and he couldn’t say anything for a few seconds.  
  
He was losing too much blood and he wouldn’t be able to bear with the pain for much longer if they couldn’t get rid of Minseok and drive more carefully in a way that didn’t cause him to constantly be tensed up. However, even if they managed to somehow lose Minseok and drive to a safe place, Chanyeol wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive through this all. His whole body was in pain and he had lost too much blood, Baekhyun was not in a better state and he knew it. He was in no shape to take care of Chanyeol the way it was needed and Chanyeol was in no shape to take  care of him either. They were alone and these weren’t just small scratches, Chanyeol had been shot and he had also noticed that Baekhyun could barely even stand on his left foot, they wouldn’t be able to care for each other properly. He looked at Baekhyun’s worried, pale face before making a split decision.

 

"Take my phone. It’s in my jacket’s pocket."

 

"Why?" Baekhyun asked in confusion but still did as told, hand rummaging through Chanyeol’s pocket and a hiss escaping him when the scratched skin of his wrist probably rubbed against the fabric.

 

"Look for Yixing in the contacts list," he asked after Baekhyun had found the device, voice barely loud enough for the other to hear him. It was painful. Everything was painful. "Send him a message with the address we’re headed to and tell him to bring all the equipment he needs for us."

 

"Yixing?" Baekhyun repeated, freezing. "Isn’t that the doctor hired by Junmyeon to take care of all of you? Are you stupid?"

 

"We have no choice unless you can magically make blood bags and medical care appear for us!" Chanyeol argued, trying his best to focus on the road.

 

"How can we even trust him? He worked for Junmyeon and _Minseok!"_

 

"Yixing doesn’t care about our business. He never got involved, he just helps us when we need medical care and he’s not even close with Junmyeon either. Just do as I say! Trust me."

 

Baekhyun looked at him for a few silent seconds before sighing and giving his whole attention to the phone as he did as Chanyeol told, allowing the latter to relax the slightest bit with the knowledge that they might be okay after all of this. Yixing could be trusted, he never took sides, never got involved and only complained when they got hurt too often.

 

With that issue solved, Chanyeol took a left turn, then a right turn as they drove deeper into the city, swerving the car to the right when there were a few people crossing the streets and screaming at him when he passed right in front of them, almost running them over. He didn’t stop, however, and soon they had reached a street that allowed cars to drive on three lanes so he could freely swerve between the cars sharing the road, passing them by with Minseok still hot on their tracks. They were driving too fast, breaking too many rules and drawing too much attention but that didn’t matter right now, Chanyeol did his best to keep the car away from danger, zigzagging between the other occupants of the road and earning loud honks wheezing at him as Minseok followed him. Soon, the latter was driving right beside them, his car getting dangerously close to theirs so Chanyeol pushed his vehicle to the right to avoid it as Minseok drove onto his lane as a result. 

 

In a spontaneous decision, Chanyeol suddenly swerved to the left, bumping his car against Minseok’s and pushing him back into his lane, causing his car to zigzag a bit as he seemed to lose control for a few seconds and zigzagged dangerously. Chanyeol took the occasion to increase his speed, leaving Minseok behind  a bit as the latter moved his car to drive in the same lane.

 

"There’s a red light right in front of us!" Baekhyun said and Chanyeol looked properly in front of him to see that they were indeed driving right into an intersection with an orange light that would turn into red in no more than three seconds. 

 

"We can’t stop."

 

"There’s a truck on the intersection, Chanyeol. We’ll crash against it!" Baekhyun protested.

 

"Not if we’re fast enough," he replied as an idea suddenly formed in his head and he glanced up to see that Minseok was still right behind them. 

 

He took a deep breath in, inwardly praying to whoever was watching them above as he crushed his foot against the accelerator, the engine rumbling loudly as the car lurched forward and they drove right towards the intersection just as the light turned red, leaving them a few seconds before the light of the other roads would turn green. He didn’t stop, going as fast as possible and grateful that there was no car in front of them at all as he continued driving, making sure that Minseok was right behind them. He glanced to the left, taking in the truck that had been waiting on the intersection and slowly started driving once their light turned green. Chanyeol heard Baekhyun scream next to him but he paid no attention to him and pushed the car forward, faster and faster as the truck almost reached the middle of the square formed by the intersection. 

 

He heard a loud honk going off from the truck but Chanyeol pain no mind to it as their car wheezed right in front of it, almost grazing it as they cut its path off and caused it to slow down and stop in the middle of the intersection while Chanyeol never slowed down and continued driving. He heard the loud wailing of tires screeching followed by the metallic sound of a crash and when he glanced to the rearview mirror, the truck was in the middle of the intersection, several cars honking at it. It wasn’t as straight as it should be on the road which meant that a car had crashed against it and pushed it a bit, unable to slow down in time. Minseok wasn’t behind them anymore and Chanyeol drove off as fast as he could, not wasting a single second.

 

The whole car was silent for a few seconds save for the engine rumbling and the other cars wheezing past them along with the bustle of the busy city but despite all of that, the only thing Chanyeol could hear was his heart hammering against his ribcage in a rather painful manner. He glanced up at the rearview mirror. There was no one behind them. No one. 

 

They had done it.

 

They managed to lose Minseok by making him crash against a truck, something that probably hadn’t been deadly but effective enough as it prevented him from following them anymore. They had done it. He could feel the adrenaline sizzling in his veins but the headache and the dizziness were nothing but whispers at the back of his head for a few seconds as everything dawned upon him. 

 

"We did it," Baekhyun whispered, breaking the relieved silence hanging over them both.

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath in, letting his head fall back against the headrest of his seat as his whole body suddenly grew heavy, the adrenaline he had been working on slowly slipping away from his grip.

 

"We did," he whispered back, unable to keep himself from continuously glancing back at the rearview mirror to check if someone was following them.

 

However, after a few seconds, the only car that was behind them seemed to be driving too slowly to be Minseok so he allowed himself to relax a bit but not too much, they weren’t safe yet.

 

"I’ll give you directions," Baekhyun said, calmer, softer, and yet in a foreign voice.

 

They were left alone for the first time since their fight and Chanyeol felt the pit of his stomach burning at the thought that they shouldn’t have been alone in this car. Kyungsoo should have been with them.

 

However, now was not the time to mourn. It wasn’t the time to dwell on their personal problems and their relationship that kept deteriorating either. They had to reach a safe place so Chanyeol silently nodded before focusing on the road properly to get them away from the city as soon as possible, following the directions that Baekhyun quietly yet still urgently gave him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Baekhyun had told him that there was a ‘little house’ they could go to, Chanyeol had expected it to actually be a small house lost in the middle of somewhere, maybe a crumbling small one bedroom apartment, something like a small hut or any other place that could potentially be difficult to live in but that wasn’t what greeted them after almost half an hour of more driving at a dangerous speed with dizziness hanging over him like a hawk. The place Baekhyun had directed him to go to ended up being actually lost in what seemed to be the middle of somewhere, another house hidden by trees and probably miles away from the nearest neighbor but it wasn’t anything crumbling down or ugly.

 

It was a small two storied house that probably had no more than two bedrooms , a kitchen, a living room, and a bathroom but despite the darkness of the night surrounding them, it looked rather nice. It wasn’t a house that was taken care of everyday, that was for sure, but there was no crack on the walls, the blinds were pulled down and hid the windows but at least there seemed to be windows and the grass right in front of it was overgrown but in a way that showed that someone used to trim it well a long time ago. It was nice and when Baekhyun pulled him out of the car and half carried him inside as Chanyeol leaned almost his whole body weight onto him, he could see that the interior was even nicer than the outside. 

 

It actually looked like a house someone had been living in a long time ago, unlike the bigger house they had spent their last two weeks in, and it was just warm and comforting, the gentle colored light only pouring more warmth into the furnitures that were all of a deep, chocolate brown that matched the mood of the house. There were no pictures but the living room was comfortable, albeit small, and he could catch a glimpse of the kitchen from where he was, it was furnished and clean as well even if the house looked and felt dusty.

 

However, Chanyeol couldn’t focus on looking around more when he plopped down on the couch with difficulty, groaning a bit as the cut on his waist rubbed against the sofa’s leather and pain shot up his arm as the sudden movement hurt him. He still felt dizzy, the room was spinning around him despite the fact that he was still and laying down, he had a hard time keeping his eyes open into more than small slits and even if they were open, he could barely see anything as his vision was dotted in black and white each time he blinked. He had a hard time breathing and he was burning, his whole body was burning with exhaustion, the blood on his clothes making everything more uncomfortable. He wanted to sleep, he felt cold and shivers ran down his spine, his clothes soaked in sweat as well because at the same time, he felt suffocated by heat.

 

He felt warmth suddenly envelop his hand into a safe cocoon and he forced himself to blink his eyes open, the only sight that greeted him ending up being blinding to him so he closed his eyes again before opening them after three seconds that he counted in his head. His ears were ringing and he couldn’t hear anything properly for a while but Baekhyun was kneeled on the floor, next to him, his hand gripping Chanyeol’s tightly as he hovered over the latter, speaking, probably asking millions of questions that Chanyeol didn’t have the strength to reply to. He was bruised, his face was covered in bruises and he had blood on his whole body, both his own and belonging to the people he had fought earlier. He probably felt as bad as Chanyeol did, probably worse, Chanyeol didn’t know what Junmyeon had done to him before they arrived on the meeting place but he had been in a bad shape and even now, he could see exhaustion oozing from him. And yet, he was still the only thing Chanyeol wanted to look at, he was still the only beautiful light Chanyeol focused on to ignore the dark spots closing on him even more each time he blinked.

 

He was so glad, despite everything, that Baekhyun was alive, here, by his side, caring for him when the pain he was going through might be blinding, deafening, and numbing all at once.

 

"Chanyeol," he finally managed to make out the sound coming from Baekhyun’s mouth. "Are you okay? Stay with me."

 

"Tired," he heard himself mumbling back as a reply, the word escaping him incredibly slowly.

 

"Stay awake," Baekhyun shook his head, squeezing his hand tighter and gently shaking his shoulder. It hurt but it at least kept him awake. "Chanyeol, please," Baekhyun pleaded him, voice cracking.

 

It wasn’t even anything too bad. It was just a bullet still lodged in his arm, it wasn’t supposed to be deadly but it was painful and Chanyeol had been losing blood for close to an hour now. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before forcing them to open again when the warmth on his hand was suddenly gone. He groaned in protest, blindly reaching for Baekhyun’s hand again but the latter was already on his feet, pacing in fort of him worriedly, one hand tangled in the hair on the back of his head. He was so worried and despite everything, Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel warmth seeping into his body at the sight. Baekhyun was worried about _him_. Despite everything.

 

"What should I do?" he heard the other mumble as he kept dancing back at Chanyeol. "Do you want me to start cleaning your bruises? I could try pulling the bullet out myself, I’ve done it before. But my hands are shaking. I could make it worse. I could fuck it all up. What do you want me to do, Chanyeol?" Baekhyun asked, suddenly turning towards him.

 

Chanyeol could decipher the panic and the worry in his voice along with the slightly hysterical glint in his eyes so he tried shaking his head before using his healthier hand to support himself as he tried sitting up. He hated seeing Baekhyun like this. He didn’t want to worry him. He was okay. He would be okay.

 

"What the hell are you doing?!" Baekhyun almost screeched, dropping next to him again. "Just lay down."

 

"I’m okay, stop worrying," he grunted, not out of irritation or any other feeling but merely out of pain because it was difficult to even speak now.

 

"There’s a bullet in your arm and half of your blood gone from your body, how am I supposed not to worry," Baekhyun mumbled, gaze raking all over Chanyeol body, hands hovering over him without actually touching him, as if he didn’t know what to do and was scared of hurting him more.

 

Chanyeol parted his lips to say something but before he could even managed to get a word out, a loud noise came from the door as someone knocked on it, causing them both to freeze at once. Chanyeol watched Baekhyun’s eyes widen, the worry slipping away from him as his features hardened and he shot up on his feet in the next second. Chanyeol felt everything darkening around him, the pain increasing and snarling into his ringing ears, but he forced himself to watch as Baekhyun disappeared into the kitchen before emerging back to the living room, fingers gripping the handle of a knife tightly.

 

It was stupid. If it was someone who wanted to harm them, they wouldn’t just knock on the door before entering but Baekhyun was already consumed by worry and it could still very well be a trap so Chanyeol didn’t say anything as the other slowly advanced towards the entrance door that directly opened up into the living room. Even if he wanted to say something, he wouldn’t be able to anyway.

 

Then, Baekhyun threw the door open and Chanyeol watched as he instantly pressed his knife against the man’s neck, causing him to freeze and widen his eyes in surprise. That expression was familiar and it took Chanyeol a few seconds to actually be able to see the man’s features and recognize him but he relaxed.

 

"Well, hello there," a familiar, calm, and soothing voice said and hadn’t it been for the pain and the worry of having to watch Baekhyun slit Yixing’s throat open, he would’ve laughed. "Nice to meet you too."

 

"Who the fuck are you," Baekhyun hissed, keeping the blade pressed against the other’s neck.

 

"Baekhyun, that’s Yixing," Chanyeol was able to say, voice coming out more like a wheeze than anything else.

 

"Yixing?" Baekhyun asked and Chanyeol couldn’t see his face but he knew that he was probably studying the doctor’s face for a few seconds before he suddenly pulled away as if remembering who he actually was. "Right. Yixing."

 

The taller let out a soft, slightly amused chuckle that caused Baekhyun to tense up but he didn’t say anything and simply stepped aside to let Yixing step in and closed the door behind him right away, locking it. The doctor was carrying a few bags that looked heavy enough to contain medical stuff and Chanyeol felt relief washing over him as the man walked directly to him, a frown instantly forming on his gentle features as soon as he saw the state Chanyeol was in.

 

"I’m glad you called me," he said as a form of greeting before kneeling on the floor next to Chanyeol. "We won’t move you, we’ll do it here."

 

"I’m really sorry to involve you in this Yixing, I know you…" Chanyeol started explaining, slowly and with some difficulties, not even sure what he was supposed to say. "I know you never wanted it but things are-"

 

"It’s okay, I know. I’m not taking sides or getting involved in anything. I’m just here to help you get back on your feet again," Yixing cut him off calmly before he opened one of his bags and rummaged through it for something Chanyeol couldn’t see. His gaze was focused on Baekhyun who stood over them, knife still in hand as if he would be ready to harm Yixing if he did anything that looked remotely suspicious to him. It was almost adorable but Chanyeol couldn’t linger on it. He could see Baekhyun’s legs shaking, he was leaning his whole weight onto his right foot. He could barely stand on his two feet. 

 

His attention was pulled back to Yixing when he heard the sound of fabric being ripped apart and he saw that the doctor was cutting his shirt open, both on the chest and on the arm to free Chanyeol from the fabric that would get in the way. Before Chanyeol had the time to wonder what Yixing knew exactly or if he had just said so to keep Chanyeol from speaking, the other spoke again.

 

"Baekhyun, was it?" he called out, looking over his shoulder at Baekhyun once before focusing back on the task at hand as he cleaned the area around Chanyeol’s wound with disinfectant, burning the latter’s skin a bit and causing him to groan softly. "Could you go and get me a small bowl of warm water along with some cloth we can use to clean him up, please?"

 

"You really think I’m going to leave him alone with you while you have all those sharp objects in that bag of yours?" was Baekhyun’s immediate reply and Chanyeol had expected it but he still looked at the other disapprovingly. Or at least tried.

 

"Well, considering I’m a doctor, I’m probably the safest person you can leave him to right now," Yixing said, purposefully avoiding the sharp suspicions in Baekhyun’s words.

 

"Just do as he says, Baekhyun," he intervened, earning a frown from Baekhyun. "You can trust him," he added after a few silent seconds, hissing in pain as Yixing came too close to the wound on his arm.

 

Baekhyun simply looked at him for a bit longer, gaze flickering to Yixing from time to time before he sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

 

"Fine. But I’m really good at knife throwing and I can have a perfect view of what’s happening here from the kitchen. Keep that in mind."

 

With those last words, he turned around and headed toward the kitchen, continuously glancing at Chanyeol over his shoulder as he did so. The latter closed his eyes once Baekhyun left, the pain too much for him to pour more strength into keeping his eyes open any longer. He knew he had nothing to fear concerning Yixing, however, and the latter chuckled softly, as if he wasn’t intimidated at all by Baekhyun’s threat but simply amused, maybe oddly endeared.

 

"I’m sorry," he apologized, words mumbled. "He’s just worried."

 

"No need to apologize," Yixing replied as he pulled his hand away from Chanyeol’s arm and rummaged through his bag again, judging by the sounds reaching his ears. "You’re really lucky to have someone willing to make these kind of threats for you and protect you no matter what. It shows that he’s just scared of losing you and cares about you a lot."

 

"I am," Chanyeol whispered with a tiny, quiet chuckle before groaning in pain when the small movement caused his arm to move a bit. He really was lucky to have Baekhyun by his side in spite of everything that had happened until this exact second. "Take care of him too once we’re done. He’s hurt," he mumbled, mouth getting loose, tongue getting tied up, and eyelids now impossible to lift up. He was so tired. He wanted to sleep.

 

"I noticed," Yixing hummed. "I’ll take care of him if he promises not to stab me while I try to heal him."

 

Chanyeol simply hummed a bit, not actually having heard what Yixing had said since his ears had started ringing again and he felt his mind slipping into some kind of abyss, as if absorbed by a hole Chanyeol didn’t have the strength to pull himself out of. He was so tired. Would Baekhyun be okay if he allowed himself to sleep for a little bit? Would he be holding his hand when Chanyeol would wake up? Would he be smiling at him?

 

"Alright," he heard someone mumble after a few seconds that might as well have been a few minutes. He didn’t know. He was exhausted. "We’ll take the bullet out now."

 

Those were the last words he heard before he felt himself slipping, sliding down something that didn’t seem to end even if he knew his body was still resting on the couch, Yixing by his side. The last thought he caught in his head before his mind shut off was whether the light waiting for him at the end of this enormous cliff would smile at him or not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t until what felt like an eternity later that Chanyeol felt himself finally reach the end of that long and exhausting fall, finally able to find the door at a corner of the abyss his body had thrown him to. The first thing he could feel was warmth, small drops of warmth that seemed to have gathered on his hand before it ended up forming a pool, and then a sea that was cocooning Chanyeol’s whole body, keeping it safe and secure. His arm was buzzing, it was numb and he knew that he would’t be able to move it even if he tried but he did no such thing, staying still as he slowly felt his mind awaken and leave the healing slumber it had been forced into.

 

The first thing he could see was white dots behind his closed eyelids and Chanyeol knew that a headache would start hammering against his temples as soon as he’d open his eyes since it was just a low buzz at the back of his head now so he simply kept his eyes closed for now and listened. There was no real noise, maybe just the sound of birds chirping outside but even that was distant in his ears, although that information was enough for him to know that it wasn’t night anymore which meant that he had been asleep for a few hours now, if not more. The second thing he noted was that there was indeed warmth enveloping his hand and it took him a few seconds to be able to figure out that someone was holding his hand, gently and tightly at the same time, as if they didn’t want to hurt Chanyeol but couldn’t afford to lose their grip on him either. 

 

He didn’t even need to see it to know who was holding his hand but Chanyeol still forced his eyes to open, a sharp pain indeed planting its claws on his temples and pulsating through his whole brain. However, as soon as the blurriness clouding his eyes dissipated, that physical pain seemed to be nothing compared to the daggers and the arrows that dug right into his heart, one by one, as if coated by a poison that seemed to distort the weak muscle, squeezing it and breaking it apart.

 

He glanced out of the small window on his right, noting that it wasn’t exactly night anymore, but it wasn’t day either. Time seemed to be stuck somewhere between sparkling stars and fluffy clouds in the sky, as if it had stopped to allow the Moon to greet the Sun for a few seconds that they would hang onto to shine on their respective time until the next meeting that wouldn’t be any longer than a few seconds either. As if wanting to impress the Moon and convince it to greet it as beautifully the very next day, the Sun had tried to give it a display of beauty that certainly did not match the Moon’s own grace but that came close to it as the sky was painted with a few drops of baby blue and a few sprinkles of pastel pink that were gently enveloped into a bright and warm orange color, like a flame with the Sun at its very core. However, Chanyeol wasn’t even looking out of the window, not interested one bit by anything he could see in the sky, whether it be the Sun, the Moon, or the stars.

 

He found his very own source of light in the person laying down next to him on the bed, warmth pouring from the windows and gently glowing on Baekhyun’s skin, giving it a honey-colored taint that looked better on him than anyone else, despite the paleness draped over his whole face. For the first time ever, the first thing that Chanyeol noticed about Baekhyun when looking at him wasn’t that he was beautiful, a sight he’d never want to take his eyes off of, but that he simply looked exhausted, sorrowful, and just broken.

 

His eyes were wide open and his hand was indeed holding onto Chanyeol’s as he laid down by his side on the bed but he wasn’t looking at Chanyeol, he probably wasn’t looking at anything in particular, his eyes lost somewhere on the taller’s chest as if he was looking through him and seeing something that he didn’t like but that he couldn’t close his eyes to avoid. It would probably follow him and seep behind his closed eyelids. Chanyeol had probably slept for a few hours and his first guess was that it hadn’t been that long, that maybe he had just managed to stay asleep until dawn, but he could say for sure that it hadn’t been the case for Baekhyun. Dark and heavy bags were protruding under his eyes, his skin carried the paleness of someone who hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep for a whole night and he just looked heavy, lost, as if he wasn’t even there, next to Chanyeol.

 

He had no real expression on his face, no frown, no pursed lips, nothing but blankness and exhaustion but his eyes, as always, were open windows to Chanyeol and it took him only a second to be able to decipher the emotions that gave Baekhyun’s eyes a dim look, his usual sparkles overshadowed by them. Sometimes, Chanyeol couldn’t tell what Baekhyun was thinking about, he had no idea what was going through his head and he was like a locked door, not letting Chanyeol in at all, but other times, he was like an open book and right now, as they laid together in the calm brought by the gentle dance of the sun as it rose in the sky, Chanyeol could read right through him.

 

Perhaps that was because he knew that look on Baekhyun’s face, he had seen the same one on the mirror weeks ago, when the person he had called a brother had been snatched away from him so cruelly. He still sometimes saw that expression on his reflection, it was still too soon, the pain and the sorrow was still too fresh even if days and weeks had gone by since Jongin’s death but for Baekhyun, it had only happened a few hours ago. He had lost the only person who had been by his side for ten long years during which Chanyeol knew he had craved to die and live at the same time, maybe the only person who had kept him alive all that time.

 

Chanyeol still wasn’t too familiar with Kyungsoo, he still remembered nothing about him but even he could feel the spikes of pain that had been shoved right into his chest, impossible to be slid out of his body to free him from the pain. Kyungsoo had kept them together, he had guarded them, he had protected Baekhyun, maybe even until his last breath and yet, his death had been such a cold, unfair one. He had died by a single bullet in a moment of happiness that they had all shared before Minseok had shattered it. For a split second, he wondered if it had been their fault. Would that have happened had they not fought and had Baekhyun not been caught by Junmyeon? It would be so easily to blame himself and let the guilt tweak  with his mind again but Chanyeol had learned his lesson. It would have happened sooner or later. They wouldn't have been able to stop it because no matter how or when that confrontation with Junmyeon had taken place, Minseok would have still intervened and helped them only to betray them later. None of them had suspected it, not him, not Baekhyun who had looked so euphoric at the prospect of having finally won, and not Kyungsoo who had not even spared Minseok a single suspicious glance either before the latter had shot him.

 

They might have been able to prevent it but right now, Chanyeol didn’t want to think about it because he knew that was exactly what was going through Baekhyun’s head.

 

Baekhyun was clinging onto his right hand and Chanyeol didn’t want to let go of him so he forced on his other arm, pain shooting up his wounded limb as he raised his hand, slowly, carefully, until he could cup the other’s cheek, cradling him gently and with care as if Baekhyun was a precious and beautiful flower he was scared of harming. The sudden warmth on Baekhyun’s cheek seemed to pull him out of his thoughts and he finally looked at Chanyeol with a startle, eyes widening a bit when they met the latter’s before his eyes lost some of their shadows and a glint appeared in his dark orbs, like the first ray the sun painted across the sky after long hours of sparkling darkness. It was more beautiful and captivating than any other sunrise Chanyeol would ever see.

 

"Are you okay?" Chanyeol whispered, voice hoarse even if his tone was low. He forced his lips to curve into a smile, not because he didn’t feel like smiling but because he still felt tired to the bone. Baekhyun’s presence made it better, though. It felt like an eternity had passed since the last time they had whispered gentle words to each other while laying side by side and looking into each other’s eyes.

 

"Are _you_ okay?" Baekhyun immediately asked back, moving closer to Chanyeol but carefully, even if his wounded arm was on the other side. " _You_ scared me a lot and you’re still asking whether I’m okay or not? I’m not the one who got shot and lost like half of his blood," he continued rambling, complaining, and scolding Chanyeol in such a familiar way that the pain coursing through his veins was momentarily replaced by a gentle warmth that seemed to seep right into him when Baekhyun wrapped his arm around his waist and rested his head on his shoulder, burying his face against the crook of his neck.

 

It felt like Baekhyun had been craving to do that but had only been scared to wake Chanyeol up. The thought widened his smile a bit.

 

"I’m alive, aren’t I? It was just a small bullet," he chuckled quietly, letting his wounded arm fall back on his side with a small grunt of pain.

 

"Next time you have a _small bullet_ in your body, I’ll make sure to dig it out myself just to shoot you with it again," he heard Baekhyun mumble, voice muffled against Chanyeol’s bare skin since he was shirtless.

 

"You can’t even do that," he commented gently, protesting even if it was oddly comforting to hear those words from Baekhyun. He wasn’t okay, he was still mourning and in pain, but he’d be okay. Chanyeol would be there for him.

 

"There’s nothing I can’t do. Including shutting you up for good if you don’t do it yourself right now," the other threatened him gently, the exhaustion in his voice preventing him from sounding half as intimidating as he probably wanted to.

 

And Chanyeol simply fell silent, both because he felt like he had to do whatever Baekhyun wanted him to and because he wanted to savor the feeling of having the other in his arms again. He had almost lost him. He would’ve lost him tonight, maybe, if Minseok had not chosen to shoot Kyungsoo but Baekhyun instead. They could’ve all died there. He could’ve lost Baekhyun and the mere thought was enough to cut his breath off and force him to speak again.

 

"You scared me a lot too, you know," he whispered after a while. "I was so scared of not arriving there on time, of going there and finding out that you already died. From the first second you simply left the house, it was the worst few hours of my life and I just–"

 

"I’m sorry," Baekhyun cut him off, pulling away a bit to be able to look up at Chanyeol who met his gaze, nothing but sincerity and regret greeting him in those dark orbs. "All of this happened because of such a stupid thing. I know I’ve been selfish all along and I know I pushed you to react that way. This wouldn’t have happened if I simply managed to get over everything. I shouldn’t have left the house so stupidly, especially since Junmyeon’s men caught me so close to it."

 

"You didn’t go into the city?" he asked, surprised. He had thought that Baekhyun had been caught because he had gone back to the core of the city and he knew Kyungsoo had thought that way too.

 

Baekhyun threw him a tiny glare, shaking his head. "Of course not, Chanyeol. I’m not stupid enough to do that. I just went into the woods to take some fresh air and I was about to go back and apologize to you for being stupid but suddenly, they were there, a dozen of them, including Junmyeon and I couldn’t fight them all. They just took me away," he sighed, anger still palpable in his voice.

 

It all made sense now. Junmyeon had already found them, everything would’ve happened either way but instead of attacking them by surprise, he had chosen to lure them in and used the situation to his advantage. He had probably jubilated at the thought of being able to call Chanyeol to his feet. It still made him so sick and even now, Chanyeol was filled with regret. He should’ve been the one to pull the trigger on him.

 

However, now wasn’t the time to linger on that. Not when the anger on Baekhyun’s face faded and sorrow and guilt remained.

 

"It’s not only your fault, Baekhyun," Chanyeol shook his head, moving his hand to cradle Baekhyun’s cheek again. There were no tears in his eyes but drops of sadness weren’t needed for Chanyeol to feel Baekhyun’s sorrow flowing into his own chest. "I should have handled things better instead of just snapping at you, I’m sorry too. We both just always keep everything to ourselves and then we just explode. We need to stop doing that."

 

"I won’t do the same mistake anymore, I promise," Baekhyun said, voice trembling with emotion. "We both lost too many people. I can’t make the same mistake. I can’t afford to lose you," he shook his head, as if the mere thought was enough to cloud his mind with a darkness he’d never be free from.

 

"We didn’t lose Kyungsoo because of you. It wasn’t because of me either," he said and Baekhyun froze against him, as if he had craved to hear those words but had not actually expected to. "It was going to happen either way. We were going to trust Minseok either way and sooner or later, he would’ve done it."

 

"That doesn’t change the fact that it happened, Chanyeol," Baekhyun sighed, closing his eyes for a second to gather his mind together as if it was slowly slipping from his grip.

 

"It doesn’t," Chanyeol agreed even if his heart ripped apart at that fact. At the end, when all of this would end, their loved ones wouldn’t come back to life. Nothing would fix this. "But the least we can do it make sure to stop Minseok before he makes more damage."

 

"Oh, I’m going to rip his heart apart with my own hands, don’t worry," Baekhyun spat out, hatred echoing in his voice.

 

"We’ll do it together," Chanyeol said, gently rubbing his thumb over the apple of Baekhyun’s cheek and watching as he relaxed under his touch. 

 

"We’ll stay together. No matter what," Baekhyun looked at him again, eyes filled with a sadness Chanyeol wanted to absorb into himself. "Promise me?" he asked, voice rarely audible but so painfully similar to the broken and weak child Chanyeol used to protect in a memory lost inside his dreams.

 

That child had grown up and was perfectly capable of protecting himself from any kind of opponent without Chanyeol’s help but still, Chanyeol wrapped his healthy arm around Baekhyun’s tired body, pulling him even closer than he was, yearning to protect him from anything and everything, his fears, his thoughts, and his sorrow.

 

"I already promised you. I won’t let anything separate us, we’ll grow old together. That’s what we promised a long time ago, isn’t it?"

 

"You still remember that?" Baekhyun asked, joy singing in his voice for the first time tonight as he looked up at Chanyeol with surprised eyes.

 

"I’m not going to forget the same memory twice," Chanyeol chuckled softly, the pain and the exhaustion forgotten when Baekhyun gave him a small yet beautiful smile.

 

"It’s been a while since you talked about remembering anything new so I guess I just lost hope," he admitted with a small empty chuckle, happiness gone from his voice again. "I guess that’s why all of this happened too. I won’t keep asking you about it though," he added, glancing at Chanyeol before letting his gaze fall to his collarbones again, fleeing. "Just take your time and don’t force yourself. It doesn’t matter anymore to me, really. I’ll still love you, whether you remember me or not."

 

Chanyeol had wanted to hear those exact words for a long time and he couldn’t deny that he was happy to finally hear them coming from Baekhyun’s mouth with nothing but sincerity. However, those memories were as important to him as they were to Baekhyun and he didn’t want the latter to feel that he was burdened by them.

 

"You trigger a lot of things in me, you know. Pain, confusion, sometimes sorrow, and anger. You also make me feel things I’ve never experienced before, happiness, warmth, love, and the feeling of finally belonging to someone not because I feel like I should but because I want to, with my whole heart," he said softly, watching as Baekhyun’s eyes sparkled the more he spoke, his teeth sinking into his lower lip as if to contain himself. "But the most beautiful things you trigger in me are memories and I love them. It might take a long time, maybe a whole lifetime but I know that one day, I’ll remember every single second I’ve spent with you in the past and I can’t wait for that day to come but I won’t rush it. We don’t need to rush it."

 

"We can just wait, as long as you need. I don’t mind," Baekhyun smiled at him, voice gentle, gaze even gentler on Chanyeol’s face.

 

And that was all the latter needed to hear for his heart to finally be at ease. Baekhyun nuzzled his nose against his neck again as they kept each other warm, falling silent once again but only for a few minutes because as much as Chanyeol wanted to never ever mention the things that hurt them both, some things had to be done.

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, knowing that Baekhyun didn’t need details to know what he was asking.

 

The other nodded, obviously knowing what Chanyeol meant as he sighed before looking up at him again.

 

"We contacted Minseok a long time ago," he explained. "It was Kyungsoo’s idea, he knew that it would be easier if we had someone from Cobra on our side and Minseok seemed to be the most dangerous but also the easiest option since Kyungsoo knew him very well and was aware that Minseok probably craved for more than Junmyeon gave him. Everyone craves for more than they already have anyway," he shook his head. 

 

"Did he really accept easily?"

 

Baekhyun shrugged. "He did. I think he was already aware of the fact that we were alive when we contacted him, it was a bit after out first meeting. I know Junmyeon sent him to kill one of the clients we snatched away from you and I think you were there with him, right?" 

 

"Yeah," Chanyeol nodded after a few seconds of thinking. "I remember that day. I was only watching him from a roof and helping him but we lost contact so I couldn’t hear anything he said when he was with the target. I only saw him stab him to death after the man said something and whatever he heard there, it’s what caused Junmyeon to finally start panicking about the situation, I think."

 

"The guy probably described us to him, Kyungsoo was usually the one to contact clients and meet them and that’s what we wanted. We wanted Junmyeon to be restless because that would push him into making mistakes. We contacted Minseok a bit after that, Kyungsoo talked to him and offered him a high rank in Cobra if he helped us get rid of Junmyeon. He accepted after a few days."

 

"At least he hesitated," Chanyeol commented, still finding it hard to believe when Minseok had always been Junmyeon’s most loyal ally, his shadow, his righthand man and his oldest weapon. However, Chanyeol knew that never in this world, you actually knew anyone.

 

"He did but he accepted easily and gave us information about Junmyeon’s whereabouts, his meetings with Cobra, his exact plans too. He was the one to warn me about the ambush Junmyeon prepared for me but he did it only a few minutes before it happened," Baekhyun snorted, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe his own stupidity. "We should’ve known. He played on both sides, never giving us too much information and never straying Junmyeon away from his path to us either."

 

"You couldn’t know," he tried comforting the other because it was true. No one could know what would ever happen.

 

"I guess," Baekhyun shrugged. "But now, we’re all alone against him. He’s probably going to take over Cobra. You killed Sehun, they have no leader left and Minseok is strong enough to get rid of anyone who would oppose to him."

 

Chanyeol hadn’t thought about that but it made sense, Cobra was all Minseok ever wanted, it was all everyone had ever wanted and now, he had it. He would use it to get rid of them too.

 

"We don’t need anyone," Chanyeol shook his head. "We can overcome anything if we just stay together," he said even if even he wasn’t totally comforted by his own words.

 

"Why didn’t he just kill us tonight? He could’ve done it," Baekhyun frowned, obviously having thought about it a lot.

 

"Minseok is like that," Chanyeol sighed. "He spared us only because this is a game to him and he probably wants to fight us properly, not after Junmyeon already weakened us. His mind works like that. He wants his own victory, he’s probably even going to wait until we’re all healed and ready to fight to attack us instead. He’s just putting us on edge and trying to destabilize us. Seeing us run away from him like that probably felt euphoric to him," Chanyeol explained, nausea churning in his stomach. Everything about this life was so disgusting.

 

"He’s so fucking weird," Baekhyun suddenly noted and Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile at that, a bit amused by Baekhyun’s weirded out expression despite everything.

 

"He is," he agreed. "We all are," he added with a sigh.

 

"Yixing won’t help us, will he?" 

 

"No, he made it clear," he replied, gaze trailing over Baekhyun’s body. The bruises on his face were cleaned up, Yixing had probably taken care of Baekhyun’s wounds too, his right ankle was wrapped in bandages. He hadn’t ended up stabbing Yixing, Chanyeol thought with a tiny spark of amusement even if he was mainly relieved that Baekhyun wasn’t too badly injured.

 

"What about that Jongdae guy?" he asked again, pursing his lips.

 

Chanyeol shook his head regretfully. "He’s probably going to side with Minseok. They have something going on together so Jongdae probably wouldn’t even hesitate. He’s always been the most loyal one out of all of us and he’s too similar to Minseok for us to even question it. They’ll fight us together, if needed."

 

They really were all alone. They had lost every single ally they had.

 

"Wonderful, we’ll have two psychos to deal with instead of just one. It’s like a fucking Christmas deal where you buy one and get one for free," Baekhyun grumbled, hiding against Chanyeol’s neck again as if he didn't want to see or hear anything else. The way he had said it was so adorable that Chanyeol couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

 

It wasn’t even funny, far from that, it wasn’t meant to be funny at all but he couldn’t help but laugh loudly and once he started he couldn’t stop himself at all even if his whole body was still in pain and the movement caused by his laughter worsened it. It was almost relaxing, laughing like that and moving his whole body with the force of it even if it made him kind of feel like he was losing his mind.

 

However, when Baekhyun’s own laughter mixed in with his only after a few seconds, their carefree notes of happiness twirling together in the air between the sun rays and the sparkling particles of dust lazily flying around, it didn’t matter. It didn't matter. 

 

Even when they quieted down minutes later, breathless and smiling at each other stupidly despite the pain and the sorrow nestled in the core of their soul, Chanyeol knew that it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered when at the end of the day, Baekhyun would still be there to hold his hand, smile at him, and make him feel like he was willingly losing his mind.

 

Nothing else would ever matter as long as they’d stay together and fight anyone and anything on their path together, as one.


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

Loneliness had always been something that Chanyeol had fought against, forcing himself not to fear it even if it kept chasing him and he could never stop running away from it. 

 

It was such a cold feeling, maybe a small monster that only grew with time if you fed it well enough and kept it behind closed doors, far from anything or anyone who could potentially free you from its long and sharp claws made of a kind of ice that just burned through your flesh enough to reach your soul. Loneliness was like having caught an eternal cold spell inside your body, winds blowing softly in your head during the day when the sun was up and the streets were filled with noise only for it to turn into a fully developed storm once night fell over your head like a heavy bat aiming to steal your consciousness away. It spread snowflakes all around your whole being, the strong whirlwinds that twirled around your soul carrying shards of ice wherever they went and shoving them into your heart, rain falling over you continuously and making you feel drenched to the bone no matter how much you tried convincing yourself that you weren’t cold, that you weren’t sick, and that you would be okay. 

 

Loneliness was something Chanyeol had live with his whole life, it was like an eternal companion, a friend who left him alone when he ignored it but always came back at the end of the day, whispering into his ear, always _whispering,_ wrapping its arms around his body in a choking hold that prevented him from dragging enough air into his lungs, pressing its hands against his eyes to force him not to pay attention to anything else. Loneliness was like a lover, someone who was always on your bed, waiting for you when you came back from work, from meeting a friend, from eating outside. It would always be there, waiting for the perfect moment to whisper into your ear as it kept your bed frosty instead of warm. Loneliness was something very hard to get rid of.

 

However, Chanyeol had managed to chase it away. He didn’t feel cold anymore, he didn’t hear venomous whispers in the dark of the night anymore, he didn’t feel suffocated by a chilling hold around his neck anymore, and Loneliness wasn’t the person warming his bed and his soul at the end of the day anymore.

 

Chanyeol hadn’t chased Loneliness away, he had just found the one person who managed to get rid of it for him.

 

Baekhyun had done it so easily, melting away the eternal winter that had settled in his soul for years by shining over Chanyeol like the brightest star in the sky, like the sun he knew he’d never be able to survive without anymore. He had drowned out those silly whispers with his bubbly and crystal-like laughter, replacing them with notes of happiness and beads of joy that always twirled around Chanyeol like colorful bubbles reflecting the light of the sun and illuminating his whole night away. He was always there at the end of a day they spent together, waiting with his arms open in Chanyeol’s bed, wrapping his whole body around the taller’s in his sleep, as if he wanted to protect Chanyeol from anything and everyone, including his nightmares and the vicious thoughts that always came crawling out at night.

 

Baekhyun had chased it away and it never came back ever again, he never gave Chanyeol the occasion to feel Loneliness crawling in again when they spent every single second of the past two weeks together, in that little house they had ran away to, bruised and barely breathing. It hadn’t been an easy two weeks at all, not when the mourning and the sorrow brought by the loss of one of their most precious friends was constantly hovering over them, keeping them awake at night when Chanyeol often had to wipe Baekhyun’s tears away himself, both when the latter was still asleep or when he was clinging to Chanyeol with his whole body, wide awake and afraid of not being able to embrace him that way again one day. 

 

It wasn’t easy to live in with the fact that yet another person Chanyeol considered as a brother had been snatched away from him so cruelly for the second time but no matter what, Baekhyun’s pain was worse than his and even if seeing the other eat himself away with the guilt and the sadness he couldn’t get rid of felt worse than anything else for Chanyeol, he couldn’t afford to linger on his own feelings. Not when Baekhyun needed someone to lean on, not when Baekhyun had suffered so much for so long and someone needed to put an end to it, and not when Baekhyun sometimes spent his whole nights silently crying, waking up from a nightmare or not even having gotten a single wink of sleep because of the images flashing in his head every time he closed his eyes, only to act as if nothing had happened once the sun chased the night away.

 

Chanyeol knew how he felt, he knew it better than anyone else and he did his best to show Baekhyun that he’d always be there, that they’d go through this together and after two difficult weeks, he could see that Baekhyun was feeling a bit better. He was sleeping more, eating more, smiling more, and had started acting like himself again instead of a ghost of the person he used to be before losing a huge part of himself that day they had vanquished an enemy only to earn a worse one. 

 

However, they were both slowly healing, both physically and mentally, and they could still find happiness in the moments spent together, away from Loneliness and trouble. 

 

They were indeed away from Loneliness but in the span of those two weeks, there was something even worse that had caught up with them. They weren’t lonely anymore, they had each other, but Chanyeol had realized that they were _alone._

 

They had no one to fight alongside with anymore, they had no allies, no friends, no one to trust, and no one to lean on for support. They were all alone, just the two of them, against a ruthless and heartless enemy that was certainly not alone anymore as he probably had an army at his orders, putting them at a disadvantage. They had no one to work with and that shouldn’t matter, Chanyeol knew that it shouldn’t matter as long as Baekhyun never let go of his hand but it was still going to be difficult to defeat such a huge enemy when they were alone.

 

It wasn’t exactly a scary situation, however, Baekhyun had told him countless times that he wasn’t scared and Chanyeol shouldn’t be either because why should he be scared when he knew that Baekhyun would always be there with him? Why should he be scared when Baekhyun had promised to never leave him alone in the dark and Chanyeol had promised back to never chase the light away? They were together and they would go through this together, Chanyeol knew it because in those past two weeks, they had made a lot of progress, together.

 

They spent hours just talking, listening to each other and trying to understand each other’s feelings to prevent anything bad from ever happening between them again and now, Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun understood him as much as he did. Nothing was left unsaid, they had shared everything, their fears, their sadness, their complaints about each other, the things they needed to change in their relationship, and what they needed to fix in a way that it would never be damaged again. They  talked a lot and never once did they fight again. In those two whole weeks, they’ve been on edge, as much as they had been before the night Junmyeon was killed, maybe even more than that and yet, no argument exploded between them, no wildfire, no ocean of pain was throw at each other either and Chanyeol was confident enough to say that finally, they had sorted everything out, both with the present and the past and maybe, that was the only thing they needed to do in order to be able to fight this war on their own, together.

 

That didn’t mean they had nothing to actually fear anymore though, and Chanyeol knew that Minseok was only waiting for the right moment to strike again which meant they couldn’t just focus on their relationship and ignore everything else. They had to get ready for a confrontation and expect the worst, they couldn’t just stay hidden in this peaceful world forever, they had to get out and fight until victory would be in their hands. Therefore, right after his arm and his whole body had healed enough for him to move properly again, Chanyeol had started training again, forcing on his arm even if it was still not completely healed and Yixing hadn’t came to see them since that day again as it could be dangerous and lead Minseok to them.

 

The house they lived in was small and wasn’t as equipped as the other one was so it was a bit difficult but Chanyeol could still practice outside if needed, they were far from everything else after all, in a small town away from Seoul so it was less likely for anyone to see and recognize him there but he mostly preferred practicing on the single, old punching bag that was hung on the only bedroom of the house. It was the only thing he could do but Chanyeol didn’t want to lose time, he wanted to end this as quickly as possible to avoid another mistake, he didn’t want to be the losing party anymore. He was healed anyway, his arm didn’t hurt that much as long as he didn’t force on it too much and there hadn’t been any other major injury on his body either. They needed to get ready to fight.

 

"You’re forcing on your arm too much again."

 

Baekhyun’s voice suddenly snapped him out of his thoughts and he froze, his fist only inches away from colliding with the harsh fabric the punching bag was made of. He grabbed it, stopping it from swinging a bit and looked over his shoulder as the hints of disapproval in Baekhyun’s voice still lingered in the air. He wasn’t surprise to find the other leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest in that endearing way he always did whenever Chanyeol did or said something that displeased him. A frown was staining his beautiful features and his gaze was hard and accusing on Chanyeol, his lips pressed into a tight line that he broke to say something again. Already knowing what he was going to say, Chanyeol cut him off instead.

 

"I’m not forcing on it, I’m just practicing so it won’t get rusty," he simply said with a shrug and a small smile that he knew wouldn’t appease Baekhyun at all but that he still offered to the other.

 

"You won’t heal if you don’t rest, Chanyeol," Baekhyun sighed, pronouncing his name in that familiar way he always did whenever he was about to scold Chanyeol like a mere child.

 

Usually, Chanyeol just let him do so because despite not doing it with actual anger, Baekhyun was still difficult to cut off when he looked like he was seconds away from shoving a dagger into your brain because he thought you were stupid. Chanyeol was more familiar with that situation than he liked to be.

 

He let out a soft chuckle, mostly endeared instead of irritated by the way Baekhyun’s concern and worry about him seemed to have tripled since he got hurt, and turned to him as he started unwrapping the bandages around his hands that he had used to protect his skin from the harsh fabric of the punching bag. Baekhyun simply narrowed his eyes at him and had it been anyone else, they probably would’ve apologized right away but Chanyeol wasn’t intimidated the least by the man he shared his bed and his heart with. He let the bandages fall on the floor carelessly and stepped closer to Baekhyun who stood there, on the doorway, not even finding it necessary to move when he knew Chanyeol would end up gravitating towards him instead. 

 

He was so beautiful, Chanyeol couldn’t help but think as he approached him. His hair had grown a lot, dark locks dripping on his forehead like ink that contrasted with his fair skin, almost brushing his eyelashes and reaching to the stars sparkling in his eyes. Baekhyun had gotten better as well, the bruises on his face had almost entirely faded out, only  a few of them were left and there was a small scar across his cheek that Baekhyun hated now but that Chanyeol really liked pressing his lips against. He still looked exhausted as he had a difficult time sleeping at night but even that wasn’t enough to make him look faded away or weak, he still looked every inch of a strong man who had been through a lot and was both as beautiful as a rose and as dangerous as its thorns. Chanyeol wanted to keep holding on that beautiful flower for the rest of his life.

 

"I’m already healed, Baekhyun. It doesn’t hurt anymore," he said as he stood in front of the shorter, moving his arm as a proof. It really didn’t hurt anymore and there was just an ugly scar left on his skin as a proof of what had happened to him.

 

"Still, you’re tiring yourself out too much. Even I don’t train that much despite feeling better than you," the shorter protested, glancing at Chanyeol’s arm before looking up at him again. 

 

"I’m fine," Chanyeol sighed. Hearing Baekhyun telling him to rest was more tiring than anything else. "Weren’t you supposed to go buy groceries? Why are you back so soon?"

 

"Why? Am I bothering you?" Baekhyun raised an eyebrow, irritation seeping into his voice and slightly dripping onto Chanyeol himself.

 

Baekhyun had been more on edge than he was for the past few days and it wasn’t anything to worry too much about because Chanyeol knew he was going through a hard time, having just lost Kyungsoo, but sometimes, it was difficult to deal with it without offending him too much. However, Chanyeol was used to it and he didn’t mind dealing with Baekhyun through this, he knew the latter would feel bad about it later and come snuggling up against him like a kicked puppy. It was almost amusing, seeing the way Baekhyun could go from acting like a rabid and crazy dog to a playful puppy dragging you into trouble just because he felt bored in the snap of a finger.

 

"You know that’s not what I meant. Usually, you just spend more time charming the old lady from the store, that’s why I asked," he replied with a playful smile, hoping that Baekhyun would mirror it.

 

However, it didn’t happen and Baekhyun simply looked up at him in silence, not a single shift in his expression until Chanyeol sighed, giving up. He turned around, leaning to reach for the bandages he had dropped on the floor and starting to roll them together into a small ball instead to keep his hands busy. Baekhyun obviously didn’t want anything to do with him for now and Chanyeol knew not to force his chance when they had managed to avoid a fight from breaking out until now but the tension sometimes skyrocketed between them. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep preventing it from happening when Baekhyun seemed to want it to happen sometimes.

 

Chanyeol was almost desperate now, he didn’t know what to do sometimes. Baekhyun had mostly gone back to the way he used to be, joking around with him, teasing him with his cryptic sentences, and simply spending time with him but sometimes, none of that remained and he just locked himself away from Chanyeol, spending a few hours alone in their bedroom and ignoring every attempt of communication from Chanyeol. They sometimes argued about silly things but it was nothing but small arguments that always ended with laughter and Baekhyun winning because most of the time, he was right. However, this was different, Chanyeol recognized this behavior from  the day Baekhyun had left the house on a whim after their fight and had ended up in Junmyeon’s claws. He recognized it, the tension, the mean tone, and the invisible shoves that Baekhyun kept pushing against Chanyeol.

 

He ignored it, however, Baekhyun just needed a bit of time and despite Chanyeol’s patience running thin, he wouldn’t make the same mistake again, not when he wanted Baekhyun’s pain to vanish instead of growing with each passing second. He had suffered a lot and Chanyeol wouldn’t add up to it, not when Baekhyun had made considerable efforts and hadn’t brought up the past at all since their conversation about it on the first day they stepped into this house.

 

"Do you want to run away, Chanyeol?"

 

Baekhyun broke the silence after a few seconds, surprising Chanyeol with words he hadn’t expected to hear at all. He froze all at once, processing those words before turning to Baekhyun again. He wasn’t leaning against the doorframe anymore, he had stepped more into the room instead but still stood right in front of the door, his arms still crossed over his chest but this time, Chanyeol could see the line of tension stretched over his broad shoulders and the way his jaw was clenched hard, as if he was scared of what Chanyeol was going to answer.

 

"What?" he simply asked, not sure what Baekhyun was actually asking even if he had a small idea about it.

 

"Do you want us to run away?" the other asked again, voice strong as it rose in the room but Chanyeol could still hear the small note of uncertainty his last word echoed with in his head. 

 

"Why would we run away?" he asked softly, surprised by the way Baekhyun looked at him, the sparkles in his eyes trembling with fear, his eyebrows pulled into a frown tainted with sadness, and his lower lip caged by his teeth. Chanyeol stepped towards him again, slowly, as if approaching a wounded animal that could attack him at any moment.

 

"Why the hell wouldn’t we run away?!" Baekhyun finally snapped, throwing his hands up as if Chanyeol’s stupid question had exasperated him and annoyed him further. Chanyeol took a deep breath in as he stood in front of Baekhyun, observing him, trying to understand what was going through his head and why was Baekhyun acting the way he usually did right after waking up from a nightmare at night. "We could run away! We could leave everything behind. We could run far away from Cobra and Minseok and every damn problem this country has ever given us," he listed, voice suddenly gaining in volume as he shook his head, way too agitated.

 

"You don’t really want to run away, Baekhyun," Chanyeol shook his head as well, frowning in confusion. Why was he suddenly bringing this up when they had never talked about it? Why would they run away when things hadn’t ended yet?

 

"Maybe we should, Chanyeol!" Baekhyun retorted, gaze turning sharp and dark as it locked with Chanyeol’s. "It’s not worth it. Cobra’s not worth it, it’s not worth every single person we’ve lost, it’s not worth all those years we’ve lost and it’s not worth the possibility of losing you too!"

 

Those words were pronounced with a loud, agitated voice, and Baekhyun had looked away from him at one point but Chanyeol could finally understand what this all was about, he could hear the words Baekhyun refused to say out loud but hid beneath his anger and his agitation instead. He was scared. He was scared of losing this fight, he was scared of losing himself, and he was scared of losing Chanyeol. He could understand, Chanyeol carried the same fear in his heart but he had learned to live with it and ignore it because fear was the last thing they needed right now.

 

"We can’t run away, Baekhyun. I don’t want to," he said firmly but not angrily, catching Baekhyun’s gaze with his to make sure that the other would understand him. They couldn’t, they wouldn’t run away. Not now. Not after everything that already happened. 

 

However, Baekhyun didn’t seem to share the same opinion and Chanyeol watched as his whole body deflated, as if a heavy weight had settled on his shoulders and was trying to drag him down as he looked at Chanyeol with an expression that let the latter know his answer had been the thing Baekhyun had feared the most.

 

"Why?" Baekhyun asked and his voice had lost its volume and its strength, it turned into nothing but a small scared sound that barely even left Baekhyun’s mouth, trembling and muffled as he looked at Chanyeol with a crestfallen expression, stepping closer to him as if wanting to convince him with the sadness in his eyes.

 

Chanyeol shook his head, looking away. "We can’t, Baekhyun," he repeated with a sigh, doing his best not to waver. "We’ve lost so many people for Cobra, we’ve lost so many things in the way and we can’t just run away like cowards after all we’ve already been through."

 

"I’m willing to be a coward if it means you’ll still be alive with me, Chanyeol," Baekhyun snapped again, spitting his words out through gritted teeth as if he was frustrated by Chanyeol and he was, the latter knew he was but it wouldn’t change anything. He had promised himself to fight until the end, he had promised it to Baekhyun as well and he knew the other wasn’t stable enough to take the right decisions right now. He had probably thought about this only a few seconds ago and  decided on his own that it would be the best thing to do when it was certainly not.

 

"Even if we run away, this wouldn’t end," he replied, keeping his voice calm as he did his best not to snap back at Baekhyun. That wasn’t what they needed right now. "Do you really think Minseok would let us simply run away? We could hide but he would find us, it would be useless. This isn’t going to end unless we fight until the end and get rid of him once and for all."

 

"We’re alone, Chanyeol!" Baekhyun’s voice rose again and Chanyeol felt his words slicing his heart into two, his scared and trembling gaze only adding salt to the wound. "We’re alone, There’s just the two of us against Minseok and the whole of Cobra."

 

"We promised each other, Baekhyun. We promised to fight together until the end and to never let go of each other," he replied through gritted teeth, hating the fact that they were even having this argument when they had settled on that more than two weeks ago. They had promised each other to fight together and end everything, Baekhyun had been so confident at that time so why was he behaving like this now? That promise had been so important to Chanyeol and they hadn’t had any problem until today either so why was he doing his best to ruin everything by pushing Chanyeol’s buttons again? "You said it yourself. We’re alone. We’re alone because they took everything from us, they took my memories, they took Jongin, and they took Kyungsoo. You said that we would get our revenge," he continued, not even able to hold back the accusations in his tone when he felt like Baekhyun was letting go of his hand halfway through a harsh path they had decided to cross together.

 

"Revenge never ends, Chanyeol!" Baekhyun screamed at him, bringing a hand up to ruffle his hair in frustration, startling Chanyeol who didn’t manifest it with his body but felt hurt by the way Baekhyun once again didn’t try understanding him. "We got our revenge on Junmyeon, he died. And then what? Now we have Minseok after us. It just never fucking ends and I’m tired," he lowered his voice, stepping closer to Chanyeol who took a step back, shaking his head as he saw the plea in Baekhyun’s eyes. 

 

He was scared. Did he ever think that Chanyeol could be scared as well? Chanyeol was scared. He was more scared than ever, scared of losing this battle, scared of losing Baekhyun, and scared of what would happen if they ever managed to end this, but he was _tired_ of being scared. It had been months and it hadn’t ended yet. He was tired of living in fear. 

 

"We can end it, Baekhyun," he pleaded back, locking his gaze into Baekhyun’s, begging him to understand him as well, wishing he would believe in him. Did Baekhyun not trust him? "We’ll end it together and we’ll take over Cobra."

 

At his last words, Baekhyun suddenly froze, looking at him with wide eyes, still not out of the spell of madness induced by his fears and his worries. 

 

"You want to take over Cobra?" he asked softly, almost coughing those words out as if they were difficult for him to pronounce or he had a heard time breathing even just thinking about it.

 

Chanyeol had thought about it a lot and he had told Kyungsoo that he wasn’t interested in Cobra at all, that he wanted nothing to do with it and that both Baekhyun and him would leave this country and never come back again once this would end but things had changed since then. Kyungsoo had said that he would take over Cobra and Chanyeol knew that he wouldn’t need their help, that was why he had been able to speak so confidently that day but Kyungsoo wasn’t there anymore. They had lost Kyungsoo for the same reason they had lost Jongin and Seungsoo. They had all fought for the same thing, one way or another, they had all fought for Cobra, even Jongin who had been recruited by Junmyeon to help him erase everything about his past. 

 

Cobra was like a curse that would follow them around forever and Chanyeol knew that the only way to end the curse would be to learn to manipulate it instead. He was aware that the only way that would happen was for him to kill Minseok and get rid of the last obstacle between Cobra and him to finally be able to take what was rightfully his. He had never wanted it, even now, he still didn’t want the burden that Cobra would inject into his life but that had always been what was supposed to happen, Chanyeol had always been supposed to take over Cobra. That was the only reason why Seungsoo had taken them in, it was the reason why Seungsoo had died after asking Kyungsoo to protect them instead of protecting his older brother, it was the only reason why Kyungsoo had died too and Chanyeol would be the next person on the list, no matter what. All these people had lost their life and vengeance was such an odd and self-destructive concept but the least he could do to honor all his friends’ death would be to make it worth it and finally take what rightfully belonged to him to put an end to this disaster. It would be difficult and he would only sign himself up for a lifetime full of danger and trouble despite yearning to just spend the rest of his days doing nothing but loving Baekhyun. However, that was the right thing to do. He would do it.

 

"That’s the right thing to do and the only way to end all of this," he replied softly, gaze still locked into Baekhyun’s as he uttered those words with unwavering confidence. He knew Baekhyun would understand him. He’d understand him once he’d be calmer.

 

"Why? I thought you didn’t want to take it over?" Baekhyun asked, words rushed out of his mouth as if he couldn’t keep them in, as if he had a hard time even sorting his thoughts out but still needed an answer.

 

"I didn’t," Chanyeol explained, doing his best to stay calm even if Baekhyun was too agitated, his hands still tracing big movements in the air and his voice as alarmed as his eyes looked. "But I thought about it and if I don’t take over Cobra, we’ll never be in peace. You said it yourself, that’s what Seungsoo wanted me to do. He chose me as a heir and he lost his life just because he wanted to protect us."

 

Baekhyun had been the one to tell him that, he had said it himself and Chanyeol knew how much he appreciated Seungsoo, he knew how much Baekhyun regretted everything and how important the man had been for them so he expected Baekhyun to finally calm down and get a grip of himself. Chanyeol had done his best to stay calm and explain everything with clear words and there was no reason for Baekhyun to get even angrier when Chanyeol knew he shared the same thoughts. However, understanding was far from being the thing that Chanyeol saw explode in Baekhyun’s gaze and before he could even say anything else, the other’s voice boomed across the room, loud, sharp, lethal as a dagger, and cold as an ice shard.

 

"You don’t even remember the man, Chanyeol!" was the next accusation Baekhyun threw at him and all at once, Chanyeol felt the blood in his veins freeze and his heart constrict in his chest as once again, he was faced with the same situation that had led them to problems in the past. Once again, Baekhyun chose to slap him with the cold harsh truth wrapped around his accusations instead of understanding him. "You don’t remember any of this and you’re willing to risk losing your life for something you don’t even remember."

 

This scene was familiar. It was way too familiar and it would be so easy for Chanyeol to make a repeat of what had happened only two weeks ago, when Baekhyun had thrown the same accusation at him and Chanyeol had thrown back uglier words at him, when they had blamed each other for things that shouldn’t even matter anymore, and when Baekhyun had simply turned his back to him and left only for Chanyeol to find him locked under Junmyeon’s claws. It would be so easy for Chanyeol to listen to the anger those words instantly ignited in the pit of his stomach, it would be really easy to simply let those flames guide him to burn Baekhyun too, and it wouldn’t be too difficult for him to throw the same accusations back at Baekhyun. He could tell him that he had been the one to push him into Junmyeon’s trap that day, ten years ago, he could tell him that if he had forgotten everything, it was simply his fault, that they had spent ten years away from each other because of the words Baekhyun had pronounced that day. He could accuse Baekhyun and he could hurt him, he knew exactly what words would hurt him the most and he could do it because he was as scared as Baekhyun was and maybe just like Baekhyun, he too needed to scream at someone to vent off the anger and the pain. 

 

It would be so easy to just let history repeat itself for a third time and had this been a few weeks ago, Chanyeol knew he would have listened to his anger and done it. It would be really easy. 

However, he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to hurt Baekhyun, he didn’t want to make the same mistake again and he wouldn’t allow Baekhyun to do it either. He wouldn’t act in the usual immature and reckless way they somehow always did, he wouldn’t lead the both of them into yet another mistake, another untamable wildfire, or another loss that might destroy one of them forever. Chanyeol had done it before, they had been through this and he knew how this would end. He didn’t want it to end the same way. He wouldn’t let that happen again.

 

After a deep intake of breath, Chanyeol let all the air out through his nose again, willing himself to calm down no matter how much Baekhyun had tried riling him up, probably unconsciously since he wasn’t feeling good enough to control himself either. He looked at the other again once he was sure that no mistake would escape his lips and he simply observed him, silently, calmly, letting his gaze trail all over Baekhyun’s features, taking in his wide eyes, the glint of panic in them barely concealed by the deep shadow of fear that was as dark as a cloud hiding away the stars in his two orbs. His lips were parted, as if he had only been able to stop himself from saying whatever he said once it had already left his lips and his chest was heaving up and down in an alarming rate, showing that he was almost close to hyperventilating and that fear had completely taken over him.

 

Chanyeol had never seen Baekhyun like that. This wasn’t just a fight started out of frustration or boredom, this was a genuine and desperate plea from Baekhyun to him, an attempt at keeping Chanyeol alive, and maybe a sign that the other needed to hear some things. Baekhyun was usually a strong person, someone who never let any kind of weakness appear to the outside world but sometimes, even the strongest of trees managed to snap a branch or two when surrounded by harsh storms. He could feel his heart growing too small and too big for his chest at once, as if it didn’t like it there anymore, as if it wanted to run away as much as Baekhyun said he did. The pain ignited in him by the sight Baekhyun unwillingly offered to him was worse than anything else Chanyeol had ever experienced and he felt as if Baekhyun’s suffocation was his own, his breath cutting short as the other seemed to be having a hard time dragging air into his lungs.

 

Chanyeol wouldn’t do it. He had learned from his mistakes and pushing Baekhyun back when the latter shoved him away would never be the right thing to do. Instead, he listened to his heart’s own pleas and stepped forward, walking towards a frozen Baekhyun who was looking up at him as if he had already lost Chanyeol or at least, was scared of losing him. And Chanyeol knew he was. This was what it was all about, the fear had pushed Baekhyun to utter those words but Chanyeol knew him, he knew Baekhyun enough to tell that he would regret those words, both the accusation about the memories and the offer about running away. Chanyeol knew him and he also knew that all Baekhyun needed right now was a bit of comfort, reassurance, and maybe a few whispered words of love that Chanyeol would never be tired of giving him.

 

It was almost natural, almost automatic, the way his arms immediately wrapped around Baekhyun’s broad yet trembling shoulders as soon as he could reach him and was standing close enough to him to pull him into his tight embrace. He didn’t let Baekhyun hide against the crook of his neck like he usually liked doing, however, and he leaned down a bit until he could rest his forehead against Baekhyun’s and drown his gaze in his to make sure that he would be the only thing Baekhyun would see, listen to, or breath in. 

 

"Just breath, Baekhyun. It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere," were the gentle words he whispered to the other, each small syllable carrying reassurance, comfort, and love to Baekhyun’s ears even if he could barely even hear his own voice over the loud sound of his heartbeat, or was it Baekhyun’s? It didn’t matter that much, Chanyeol knew their hearts beat as one.

 

Baekhyun’s droopy eyes were filled with gentle swirls of surprise and as Chanyeol never once looked away from him, focusing on nothing but the rapid puffs of air escaping the other’s parted lips and falling on his skin. The shorter silently looked at him for a few seconds, almost confused, as if he really had expected Chanyeol to push him away after his accusations and the thought was enough for the latter to feel something pinching his heart. They still had so many things to work out in their relationship, so many things to improve, and so many things to learn about each other but Chanyeol knew they would get there one day, they were slowly progressing but they would get there. For now, all he had to do was make sure that Baekhyun would be okay and as he watched that dark and massive cloud slowly vanishing from Baekhyun’s dark orbs and leaving the usual gentle and sparkling stars in its wake, he couldn’t help but think that maybe, they were on a good track.

 

Soon, he felt Baekhyun’s arms gently wrapping around his waist and the other closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in as Chanyeol kept watching him, making sure that he was okay, that he felt better, and that the fear that had been staining his beautiful features was finally vanishing away. Chanyeol didn’t say a word, simply letting Baekhyun sort his own thoughts out as he tried regulating his breathing and synched it with Chanyeol’s. He knew that sometimes, words weren’t needed and that only a warm embrace was enough to calm Baekhyun down. He didn’t need to say too many things, he didn’t need to confuse Baekhyun with too many words, he didn’t need to accuse him or blame him for anything either, he only needed to let Baekhyun know that he was there and that he had nothing to fear. He had to be strong enough for Baekhyun to be able to lean on him without the fear of crumbling down along with the pillar he had trusted his weight with.

 

When Baekhyun opened his eyes again, Chanyeol was still looking at him and he curved his lips into a gentle smile that Baekhyun didn’t return but he could see his gaze softening so Chanyeol deemed the silence enough and brought a hand up to gently cup Baekhyun’s cheek.

 

"Better?" he asked softly, voice still no louder than a whisper as he watched Baekhyun lean into his hand like a small kitten craving love and attention. Baekhyun rarely acted this way and as adorable as it could be, it was mostly worrying since Chanyeol knew the only characteristic of a kitten that Baekhyun carried was the sharp claws strong enough to skin someone alive.

 

The other stayed silent for a few more seconds, however, nodding a bit but not too much since their foreheads were still pressed together.

 

"I’m sorry," Baekhyun finally said after a few more seconds and his voice was barely audible but Chanyeol caught the way it shivered and trembled in the air shared between their mouth. "I just–"

 

"It’s okay, I know," Chanyeol cut him off softly, still smiling a bit as he felt Baekhyun gradually relaxing in his arms. His back hurt a bit as he had to lead down to maintain eye level with him but he didn’t mind, he couldn’t pay attention to it when worry was still too thick in his mind. He was glad that Baekhyun felt better now and when the latter’s lips twitched up into the tiniest of smiles, the fire in his chest finally dimmed down.

 

"I don’t know what happened to me, I just… I just freaked out for a second," he said, letting his gaze slide down somewhere on Chanyeol’s chin to avoid his eyes.

 

"Yeah, I thought you were about to actually shove a dagger into my brain," he chuckled softly, hoping to lighten up the mood and smiling a bit wider when Baekhyun shook his head in what he knew was amusement before that usual playful glint shone in his eyes, dimmer than usual but still there.

 

"You’re too thick-headed for that to even work," he retorted, gently, with less bite than he probably would’ve liked but Chanyeol didn’t mind. If Baekhyun was able to talk that way to him, then it meant that he was okay.

 

"It’s a good thing then since you’d regret stabbing my handsome face right after doing it," he shrugged, not even leaving Baekhyun the occasion to shut him up and leaning closer a little bit until he could gently brush the tip of his nose against the other’s, nuzzling him in a way he knew would always pull a small chuckle out of him.

 

The small, crystal bead of laughter indeed escaped Baekhyun’s lips and Chanyeol felt himself breathing again, as if that single sound was enough to wash everything else away. And it was. However, Baekhyun broke the silence again with a sigh followed by soft words and hesitating glances.

 

"But I was serious, you don’t have to force yourself to do something you don’t want to do."

 

Chanyeol simply smiled a bit, pulling away to stand more properly and look at Baekhyun, thumb gently caressing the hesitation away from his features as it brushed over his skin. His heart felt too big for his chest again but this time, it wasn’t out of fear or frustration but out of a feeling that would always link him to Baekhyun, a feeling as pure as the other’s smile when he was the happiest. It made him happy too, the way Baekhyun was willing to throw away something that he so obviously wanted just because he couldn’t bear the thought of losing Chanyeol. 

 

They both wanted this. Baekhyun wanted to kill Minseok with his own two hands and Chanyeol knew that he would never be able to sleep without any nightmares as long as he wouldn’t avenge Kyungsoo’s cruel death. He only did this because he was scared but Chanyeol had so many things to avenge as well, a stolen life, a stolen revenge, and stolen people.

 

"I’m not doing this for something or someone I don’t remember," he started softly, making sure to look into the two dark skies that Baekhyun’s eyes were, reassured by the fact that every single star in there shone for no one else but him. "I’m doing it for you. I will do it for you, in order to be able to love you freely without having to live with the fear of losing you one day and the only way to do that is to become the most powerful man in this city. I don’t want to live as a runaway and neither do you, I know it. You want to end this and avenge all the people we lost just as much as I do."

 

"I do. I really do," Baekhyun sighed, closing his eyes for a second during which Chanyeol felt his world going a little darker until those stars twinkled for him again when Baekhyun’s eyelids fluttered open. However, his eyes were sparkling with fear and uncertainty, the same way they did earlier but minus the anger and the frustration. "I’m just scared of losing you. I can’t lose you a second time, Chanyeol," Baekhyun breathed out, the pain carried in the small puff of air falling through his lips tickling Chanyeol’s own lips and seeping into his soul.

 

His free hand gently trailed down Baekhyun’s arm until he could find familiar fingers to lace with his, the smile he gave the other strong and certain. He would be strong for Baekhyun, both when Baekhyun was already strong enough for himself and when he was tired of acting strong in front of everyone else.

 

"You’re not going lose me. We’re not going to lose each other," he said, voice clear and confident. He wouldn’t lose Baekhyun. He’d make sure of that. "Everything will be okay as long as we stay together, right? We don’t have to be scared. I’m not going to be scared as long as you’re with me and it should be the same for you too."

 

His voice seemed to almost act like a lullaby that slow danced into Baekhyun’s mind, soothing it and putting it at ease as Chanyeol felt his whole body relaxing against his, as if those words had been the only thing he needed to hear. Chanyeol had known it was the case and maybe he didn’t expect it to work that much but Baekhyun seemed to be calmer now, his gaze softening as a smile blossomed on his lips, as weak and frail as newborn flower but just as beautiful as a rose that had been gardened with care for a long while.

 

"I just can’t convince you, can I?" Baekhyun then said softly after his eyes had gently trailed over Chanyeol’s features for a few seconds, each of his words laced with a quiet chuckle. Chanyeol knew gratefulness was hidden behind them and none of the uncertainty remained in the other, it had all vanished.

 

Chanyeol chuckled softly, unable to keep himself from melting down as Baekhyun’s eyes curved into those small crescent shapes that always shone over Chanyeol and poured light into his life, even in his dreams.

 

"Isn’t it time for me to man up and do the right thing for once?" he asked softly, shrugging a bit as Baekhyun let go of his hand to wrap his arms around his neck instead.

 

"Do something only if you really want to," Baekhyun repeated, still smiling a bit before the curve of his lips turned playful and his eyes shined brighter, mirth dancing in his dark orbs. "I love you even if you fuck up sometimes."

 

"Thanks," Chanyeol snorted in amusement, narrowing his eyes the slightest at Baekhyun whose smile only widened, causing him to simply end up grinning like he always did whenever their eyes met. "I love you too, even if you’re a little mean sometimes," he replied with utmost sincerity.

 

He loved Baekhyun with his whole being, every single inch of his soul loved every single inch of Baekhyun’s soul and that included every sharp edge and dangerous cliffs that the other was made of. He loved Baekhyun with his happiest smile, the darkest shadows in his eyes, his angriest glare, his fearless attitude, and his gentlest words. He loved Baekhyun with every single one of his faults, his sins, his fears, and his nightmares. He loved Baekhyun wholeheartedly and he knew that it was nothing less than mutual.

 

It was almost natural, the way gravity pulled him closer to Baekhyun again, as if the latter’s breath was enchanted and controlled his soul, as if the lights in his eyes were a lighthouse and Chanyeol was a poor and weak man lost in the middle of the ocean, and as if his lips were the cure to the poison running through Chanyeol’s veins. Their lips fit perfectly together and Chanyeol had kissed Baekhyun hundreds of times now but he knew that it would always feel like the first time, breath-cutting, enchanting, time-stopping, and maybe a bit magical as their tongues engaged in a gentle dance, a choreography that they had gone through times and times again but that they probably would never get tired of.

 

And as they kissed, Chanyeol was once again reminded of the fact that he really had nothing to be afraid of as long as Baekhyun would always be by his side at the end of the day.

 

Baekhyun was the first to pull away, smiling up at Chanyeol who could almost feel his lips curving against his own from how close they still were, the other’s fingers tangled in his hair and Chanyeol’s own hands resting on his waist in a strong and secure hold. Their eyes found each other and when Baekhyun’s started gleaming with the same glint he always had before he did something either really stupid or really amusing, Chanyeol already knew he was about to lose a small battle against him.

 

"Wanna fight?" were the serious words that Baekhyun managed to utter even with a teasing smirk on his lips, one corner lifted up a bit higher than the other in the way that always made Chanyeol’s heart skip a beat or two. Now, he knew for sure that Baekhyun was back to himself.

 

"Why do you suddenly want to fight?" he couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation when a few minutes ago, Baekhyun was almost hyperventilating from panic and fear. "We were kissing just a few seconds ago."

 

"Fighting can be as entertaining as kissing," Baekhyun shrugged mischievously, raising an eyebrow.

 

"I was fighting a punching bag earlier, I had enough fighting for today," Chanyeol protested, not really understanding what Baekhyun wanted to do but still amused by his attitude.

 

"Even a silly child can fight a punching bag, Chanyeol, that’s boring," Baekhyun snorted before he tilted his head a bit, challenge spreading all over his features at once. "You’re the one insisting to keep training, don’t tell me you’re just scared of losing against me."

 

As much as Chanyeol knew Baekhyun, the latter knew him even more and those words were enough to spark off the competitive side in Chanyeol who immediately snorted.

 

"Scared of losing against you? I always win against you," he scoffed, half playful and half serious as he played along with Baekhyun who perked up at once, smile widening.

 

"Nope, you don’t," he singsonged just to tease Chanyeol who wasn’t sure whether he wanted to punch Baekhyun or kiss him anymore. Either way, he felt himself losing against Baekhyun’s usual tricks, his beautiful smile, his convincing eyes, and his lips almost brushing against Chanyeol’s as he spoke. "Wanna bet?" he then asked, pulling away entirely from Chanyeol who stopped himself from protesting.

 

"Alright," he immediately agreed. He was ready to make Baekhyun eat his own words and wipe that devastating smile off his lips. Preferably with his own lips. "What does the winner get?"

 

Baekhyun hummed for a bit. "What would you want?"

 

"What would _you_ want?" Chanyeol asked suspiciously because he knew Baekhyun wouldn’t suggest such a thing if he didn’t already have something in mind.

 

The other gave him one last look full of mirth before his eyes slowly trailed down Chanyeol’s body, observing him with a darkening gaze that set fire to Chanyeol’s body wherever it passed by. He still had the same confident smile on his lips and no matter what, Chanyeol was relieved to see it again.

 

"If I win, _you’re_ going to bend that cute little ass for me," Baekhyun finally said when Chanyeol could almost feel his breath escaping him from the way he had been silently observing him for a while.

 

He looked at the other in surprise, not having expected such a request since they had never really been in a situation that required them to talk about that side of their relationship and Baekhyun had never brought up such a thing. He shrugged, narrowing his eyes.

 

"The stakes are high," he finally said after a few seconds, humming softly. "If I win, you’re getting tied to that bed for the whole day and I will make sure to shut you up through it all so you can’t complain."

 

Baekhyun’s smirk merely widened and for a second, he almost looked as if he was considering to take Chanyeol up on that offer, which wouldn’t even be surprising, but he simply shrugged, still looking nothing less than a winner before the battle had even begun. It was a bit irritating but Chanyeol had the stupid habit of finding Baekhyun’s irritating confidence adorable so he said nothing.

 

"Alright then. We can settle this in the living room, it’s wide enough for a fight," he said and with that, he turned around, walking out of the bedroom without even a single glance at Chanyeol who knew the other was expecting him to follow behind.

 

He snorted in amusement before heading downstairs as well, once again noting that it had been way too easy for Baekhyun to convince him when they had better things to do than to fight just to determine the winner of a silly bet. 

 

However, later on, Chanyeol had not minded losing against Baekhyun that much for the first time ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t until a few hours later that Chanyeol could really tell that Baekhyun had finally put an end to his mourning phase to take matters into hand and started behaving like himself again.

 

The first thing that Chanyeol noticed when he woke up was that the sun was setting through the window and that the other side of the bed was empty, no smaller form curled into his arms and no gentle breath tickling the skin of his neck. It was rare for Chanyeol to actually wake up alone, it hadn’t happened in the whole two weeks they had spent in this little house since even if Baekhyun stayed awake for hours at night, he never left the bed, simply staring out of the window or at Chanyeol, tired eyes filled with fear and sorrow whenever Chanyeol woke up to be greeted by that sight. 

 

The second thing that he noted was that he hated waking up alone despite having done so for a vast majority of his life, until maybe a bit more than a month ago since four weeks had now passed since the first night he had spent with Baekhyun in Kyungsoo’s house. They always went to sleep together, always woke up together, and Baekhyun’s smile was always the last thing he saw before closing his eyes and even if that smile was often absent in the morning, Baekhyun’s beautiful eyes were always what greeted him first as soon as he woke up. He didn’t like this feeling at all, the bed was cold, felt too big, and he might have been asleep for no more than two hours but he still would have liked for Baekhyun to be there with him. Why would Baekhyun even leave the bed when he hated being cold and the house wasn’t properly heated at all?

 

Soon, his hazy and sleepy mind was disturbed with a loud shriek that oddly sounded like an alarm echoing in his head and he sat up at once, looking around for any sign of Baekhyun as something cold snaked around his neck and heart simultaneously, squeezing hard enough for Chanyeol to spring up on his feet. A quick glance at the old little clock resting on the bedside table was enough to tell him that it had indeed not been more than two hours since he had gone to sleep with Baekhyun in his arms, pleasure and bliss still coursing through his veins before he had given himself away to a deep slumber. His gaze then raked over the room for a few seconds, eyes wide and heart hammering in his chest hard enough for it to reverberate in his temples and echo in his skull. Their clothes were still scattered around but a quick glance was enough for Chanyeol to notice that the shirt Baekhyun had taken off his own body was missing from where it had been discarded at the foot of the bed. 

 

It was completely silent in the house which was odd because Baekhyun usually always kept the television turned on, a habit that he shared with Chanyeol even if none of them ever paid full attention to what was unfolding on the screen. It was usually never silent, Baekhyun couldn’t help but be loud every single second he spent breathing, when he wasn’t about to take someone’s life away at least and Chanyeol had always been fascinated by how eerily quiet and annoyingly loud Baekhyun could be at the same time but now, he knew that this wasn’t usual. Panic slowly started screaming harder into his soul and without wasting another second, Chanyeol grabbed a pair of jogging pants from the floor, not really caring who they belonged to as he shoved his legs into it and almost tripped on his way to the door before properly pulling the piece of clothing up to his waist.

 

Why had he been asleep? Why didn’t he feel Baekhyun leave the bed? He might be tired after what they had spent the last few hours doing but that wasn’t a good enough excuse for Chanyeol to simply let the other out of his sight. What if something had happened while he was asleep? What if Baekhyun had tried going out again to buy something and he had been caught by Minseok? It happened once with Junmyeon despite Kyungsoo having told them that it would be impossible for anyone to find them so there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t happen again. What if something bad happened? What if Baekhyun was hurt? What if Minseok had gotten hold of him? What if Minseok was hurting him? The louder these thoughts become in his head, the louder Chanyeol’s own breathing grew and soon, he couldn’t hear anything but the wild pounding of his heart against his ribcage as it danced crazily to the rhythm of his worry and fear. He couldn’t lose Baekhyun. He couldn’t afford to lose him again. He couldn’t live through the same thing once again when just a few hours ago, he had promised Baekhyun that they would never lose each other. 

 

It was growing more difficult to breath and as Chanyeol ran down the stairs, his footsteps were louder than they should probably be if danger was right around the corner but he couldn’t grasp control over his body when Baekhyun might be in danger. His eyes kept raking around for any sign of danger or anything that might be of any indication as to where Baekhyun was but there was nothing and Chanyeol was slowly starting to lose him mind. However, he turned towards the living room, stopping in his tracks as soon as his gaze fell on a small, curled up form on the couch, air suddenly seeming to slap him as hard as relief did when he finally took a deep breath.

 

He was okay. Baekhyun was there, with him, and he was okay.

 

His loud and heavy sigh along with his equally as loud and boisterous footsteps seemed to have alarmed Baekhyun who had already been looking at him before Chanyeol had even noticed that he  was innocently sitting on the couch, as innocently as Baekhyun could get, at least. He was looking at Chanyeol with a confused frown on his beautiful features that were illuminated by a ghostly and blueish light emanated from the screen of the laptop Chanyeol saw resting on Baekhyun’s lap for the first time ever.

 

"You know, the hot bedhead and after-sex package you got there doesn’t match with your wide eyes and alarmed expression at all," Baekhyun spoke first, voice gentle but still dancing around Chanyeol’s head with a teasing and amused edge as he felt the shorter’s eyes trail over his features, his bare chest, and the jogging pants that hung low on his hips. "You don’t look hot. You just look crazy right now, what got your panties twisted?"

 

Chanyeol willed himself not to be ticked off by those words, taking in another deep breath before he slowly stepped towards Baekhyun, knowing that his surprised expression was traded for an irritated one nonetheless. How could Baekhyun be so casual and relaxed after having freaked out so bad only a few hours ago? 

 

"You weren’t in bed," he grumbled under his breath as he plopped down next to Baekhyun on the couch.

 

"Of course, since you lost the bet and didn’t end up tying me to it," Baekhyun chuckled softly, even if the sound was intended to tease Chanyeol more than to show signs of amusement. His only comfort was the gentle fingers the other ran through his hair to free his eyes from the ruffled strands covering them, a sign that Baekhyun knew the reason why Chanyeol had been so agitated. "What a shame, if I might add."

 

Chanyeol simply scoffed, glaring at the other even if he couldn’t help but observe him at the same time, making sure that nothing had indeed happened to Baekhyun in the short time Chanyeol had spent asleep. He didn’t look hurt, he actually looked better than he did earlier when Chanyeol had to reassure him and chase his fears away, his skin glowing a bit under the artificial sun that shined upon them from the ceiling, his eyes sparkling as he looked at Chanyeol with nothing but amusement and playfulness in those dark orbs that had been shadowed by fear a while ago. He still looked tired and Chanyeol hoped that he wold at least get a good night’s sleep tonight since they had talked about some things and settled the fact that they had nothing to fear as long as they were together but he also knew that he couldn’t force Baekhyun to stop mourning Kyungsoo when Chanyeol’s own wound still stung whenever Jongin’s face flashed in his mind.

 

Still, Chanyeol didn’t want to linger on those thoughts so he humored Baekhyun whose hand lingered on his hair a bit before he let it drop on the small space on the couch between them. Chanyeol’s gaze dropped along with it and he couldn’t avoid the skin of Baekhyun’s legs displayed to him as he seemed to be wearing nothing but the shirt Chanyeol remembered wearing earlier today, the clothing a bit too big on him but falling over him in a nice way, his collarbones bared a bit and the marks Chanyeol had painted on his skin with his own lips now peeking at him from behind the black fabric. He was beautiful and Chanyeol felt the flame that Baekhyun had sparked in his chest months ago, maybe years ago, still pouring warmth through his whole body, relaxing him and soothing him as it glowed brighter with each beat of his heart. It wasn’t the characteristic heat of lust, however, because that wasn’t the only flame Baekhyun ignited in him, there were so many of them and when meshed together, they formed a wildfire that no one else but Baekhyun could control.

 

"I don’t need to win a bet to tie you to my bed, I could do it now if I wanted to. I could also tape your mouth so you’ll stop saying irritating things," he still said, however, and Baekhyun raised an amused eyebrow at him before finally looking away from him and at the screen of his laptop again.

 

"You’d feel so empty without my beautiful voice there to whisper filthy things into your ears, though. You seemed to like it earlier," he said so casually that had Chanyeol not been used to it, he probably would have choked on his own breath. However, he wasn’t a teenager or a shy person and Baekhyun had seen all of him just as much as he had seen all of Baekhyun so this kind of comment didn’t even faze him anymore.

 

"What are you doing?" he asked instead of replying to Baekhyun’s antics, gaze sliding from the way the screen’s light drew shadows on Baekhyun’s gentle features and highlighted the slope of his nose and the little bridge formed by the curve of his upper lip to look at the laptop instead, frowning a bit. "Where did you even get that?" He hadn’t seen it at all until this exact moment and it looked rather unfitting in the small country-style house when even the television wasn’t of the latest and biggest models.

 

"It’s Kyungsoo’s," Baekhyun replied and with the way he uttered that name, all trace of amusement vanished from his features and Chanyeol felt a pang hit his heart as he watched the way the smaller trailed his fingers over the keyboard without pressing on it, as if caressing a precious memory. Kyungsoo was a hacker, Chanyeol remembered and when that single thought sent him back to Jongin, the pain seemed to grow thicker in his chest, squeezing his heart against his ribcage. "I didn’t really get the courage to use it until now," Baekhyun chuckled quietly, emptily, as if he found it stupid himself.

 

"It’s okay, I understand," Chanyeol said softly, his arm naturally sliding up until he could drape it over Baekhyun’s shoulders, pulling the other close against his side to silently comfort him. The smile that Baekhyun offered him in exchange was small and painted with sadness but it was enough for Chanyeol to know that it was okay. Baekhyun had avoided the topic of Kyungsoo completely until today and two weeks were certainly not enough to mourn someone you spent almost half of your life with but they would be okay, they were getting there.

 

"I know you do," Baekhyun whispered and Chanyeol smiled back at him. They shared the same pain and he was so glad that Baekhyun allowed him to mourn with him. The latter turned to the laptop again, looking at it but seeing something in his head instead, maybe something that unfolded in his memories, the small nostalgic and sorrowful smile enough proof for Chanyeol to know. "He kept one laptop on every single one of the houses he owned. He used to tell me he’d never be able to survive without an internet connection and sometimes, just to tease him I’d ask whether he liked spending time on his computers more or if he preferred spending time with me," Baekhyun chuckled softly and Chanyeol couldn’t find it in himself to laugh as well when the little choked sound was overflowing with pain. "He always got irritated by that kind of question so he always replied that nothing was more important to him than his computers but one sad look from me was enough for him to crumble down and sigh before adding that it was always better whenever I was in the same room as his computer. Mostly to make sure that I didn’t get myself in trouble, he used to say."

 

It wasn’t that difficult to imagine that scene, it had probably happened dozens of times and Chanyeol regretted never being able to actually witness it but he could see it clearly in his head. The frown on Kyungsoo’s face when Baekhyun pushed him into irritation out of boredom before it was replaced by a gentle smile as soon as Baekhyun looked at him like a kicked puppy that was awaiting nothing but a small praise from its owner. Chanyeol still didn’t know much about Kyungsoo but in the two weeks they had all spent together, he had been able to figure the other out a bit. Kyungsoo was someone who had a hard time expressing his feelings when it wasn’t a necessity for him to do so and he might have acted like a caring older brother to the two of them, but he always had this air of responsibility around him, as if something heavy was pressing down on his shoulders and he had stopped fighting it a long time ago. He had helped them a lot, though, pulling Chanyeol back to his senses, calling him out on his faults on their first official meeting and never once being biased towards Baekhyun when it could have been natural for him to be. Without Kyungsoo, maybe they wouldn’t be here today and Chanyeol hoped that at least, his soul was now free of any kind of heavy weight or rusty chains.

 

"I’m sure he never let you touch his computer or any kind of electronically device he used," Chanyeol noted softly, just to spark a smile on Baekhyun’s lips. It worked and Chanyeol leaned a bit towards it, like a man lost in the middle of the cold woods without any other means of warning his insides up.

 

"I can be trusted with anything," Baekhyun snorted a bit as if it was absurd of Chanyeol to say such a thing, slipping away from his small sorrowful world to jump into Chanyeol’s again. However, the latter saw through it and raised an eyebrow, causing Baekhyun to roll his eyes a bit. "Fine, at first, he didn’t let me near any of that stuff," Baekhyun finally confessed pulling a fond chuckle out of Chanyeol who didn’t budge when the other poked his side to stop him from laughing. "But when I… grew up, he actually taught me a few things."

 

"Really? Like what?" he asked curiously, surprised by that bit of information since the things he used to always watch Jongin do were nothing but flying fingers over a keyboard and intricate codes that were nothing but a headache to Chanyeol.

 

"Not much, just how to hack into some companies’ least secured files and look up information about the underground world in weird gossip websites. He also taught me how to use the thing to access into some security cameras but I know how to do it for like two cameras in the city only," Baekhyun explained and Chanyeol frowned a bit, rather confused.

 

"How did you manage to learn that?" he asked, not able to hide the fact that he was rather impressed judging by the little smug smirk that Baekhyun sent his way before shrugging.

 

"I guess it just happens when you live with a hacker for ten whole years but really, it’s just some really restricted and basic stuff. I know nothing besides the few things he taught me."

 

"It could still be useful," Chanyeol commented, humming a bit.

 

"It could be," Baekhyun bit his lower lip before sighing a bit. "I was actually trying to use my very limited hacker skills to find some information we could need about Minseok."

 

That, however, was unexpected and Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun in surprise, not really knowing what he should feel about this. They hadn’t brought up the topic of Minseok and Cobra or revenge for two whole weeks until earlier today since both of them were too hurt to even think about it, both physically and mentally, so it was a surprise for Baekhyun to take that step on his own right after their small argument.

 

"Don’t look at me like that," Baekhyun said, looking away from Chanyeol with a small sigh. 

 

"I’m just surprised. I didn’t expect you to start working on it so soon when we argued about it earlier," he explained softly.

 

Baekhyun sank his teeth into his lower lip and sighed before replying. "I just… I just thought about what you said, about Kyungsoo, about doing what’s right, and about not having to fear anything as long as we’re together and you were right," he nodded to himself, as if reliving that scene through his mind and agreeing with all of it again. "We have to get our revenge and get you at the head of something that has always belonged to you. Why waste more time? We’ve waited long enough already and the sooner we’ll start, the sooner we’ll be done with it. We can do it anyway, as long as we’re together."

 

As Baekhyun spoke, Chanyeol couldn’t ignore the way the small flame in his chest seemed to grow   warmer, spreading heat through his whole body with each word pronounced by Baekhyun. Chanyeol had been waiting for this for a long time, for Baekhyun to recover a bit and go back to his usual determined, confident, and fearless self. The sorrow deep inside his heart might not be completely gone but Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun was ready to do anything to make himself feel better and that included letting Chanyeol help him so they could both do the right thing and finally get the revenge that they both craved so much.

 

This might seem insignificant, Baekhyun had only tried looking up for some information about their enemy but it was still a good start and Chanyeol was once again proved that Baekhyun was the strongest person he’d ever have the pleasure of meeting. He had been able to win over his sadness and despite having tried pushing Chanyeol away or convincing him to simply run away together earlier, Baekhyun was now ready to do what he had to do, only two weeks after losing one of the most important persons in his life. They both had no one but each other left and Chanyeol felt his chest welling up with pride at how Baekhyun was able to get a grip of himself so quickly, after having heard what he craved from Chanyeol. Wielding to the gentle urges shooting through him, Chanyeol leaned closer to the other and pressed a gentle kiss against the side of his head only to bury his nose in his soft, inky locks and breath in the scent that was so familiar to him and that Chanyeol sometimes couldn’t even differentiate from his own.

 

"I’m glad you want us to do this," he said gently as he pulled away to look at the shorter properly again, the gentle smile that Baekhyun offered him wrapping around him like a warm blanket before Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows as he thought back on what the other had just said. "Wait, there’s a gossip website for the underground world?" he asked, incredulous.

 

Baekhyun simply snorted, amusement ringing in the small sound.

 

"Well, that’s what I like to call it but Kyungsoo always used a complicated and weird name," he shrugged, pulling his attention back to the screen where he very slowly and almost hesitantly typed a few codes made of letters and numbers that almost gave Chanyeol a headache on the spot. "It’s like a small website that people can’t access unless they have the right codes and I think it’s a place where hackers exchange information, sometimes against weird things and sometimes for free. It’s usually free when it’s something that everyone already knows and it’s impossible to tell who the people on the website really are, their identity is hidden."

 

"That’s… unexpected," Chanyeol heard himself say.

 

"Well, where did you think Kyungsoo got all that information?" Baekhyun chuckled, amused by Chanyeol’s reaction. "Sometimes, it’s easier to scroll through here even if it’s all codes and weird words instead of hacking into everyone’s files one by one."

 

"I thought gossip websites were only for celebrities or high school students," Chanyeol snorted, intrigued as he observed Baekhyun carefully reading through a few messages exchanged there. There wasn’t anything, it wasn’t even a proper website, there was just a tiny message box surrounded by codes and inside of it, there were just a few messages sent hours and sometimes days apart by different people with numbers used as names.

 

"It’s not a gossip website, it’s just how I call it," Baekhyun grumbled under his breath before throwing Chanyeol a glance. "Though, I guess it really is kind of like celebrities. You used to be popular in there, you know."

 

"What," was the only thing Chanyeol was able to say, frowning.

 

"Yeah," Baekhyun snorted, shaking his head at him, eyes filled with amusement. "People sometimes send in things like ‘The Chairman was taken down by Venom’s sniper’ or ‘I heard he wasn’t into hackers, too bad for you.’ Kyungsoo always laughed at that so I guess it’s some kind of weird hacker humor."

 

"Shouldn’t hackers just discuss about who killed who or make tutorials to hack into porn websites? Why would they discuss my tastes?" Chanyeol deadpanned, frowning when Baekhyun burst into laughter.

 

"Do you really think the world we live in is serious? These people don’t know each other at all, they can say whatever they want to each other without fearing getting exposed since they know how to protect themselves. And hackers are nerds so," he shrugged before biting his lip. "That’s actually how I kept myself updated on you before we met. I used to ask Kyungsoo to check everyday if there was anything said about you but it was rather rare, there were mostly messages about underground business and weird jokes that could also pass off as threats. I still asked him to check everyday though and he ended up teaching me because he was tired of checking in every day."

 

"It does sound like I am a celebrity and you’re my fan then," Chanyeol laughed smugly, rather pleased with that piece of information.

 

"Yet, you’re the one who ran after me like a madman in the streets more than once," was Baekhyun’s smug reply, shaped by a slight raise of an eyebrow and the mocking smile on his lips.

 

Chanyeol frowned and cleared his throat before nodding towards the screen.

 

"Anyway," he started, ignoring Baekhyun’s amused chuckle. "Did you find anything useful?"

 

"I got a few things," Baekhyun replied and all the amusement and the playful banter was gone form his voice as once. "Minseok did proclaim himself as the head of Cobra since both Sehun and Junmyeon are known to be dead. There’s been protest, from what I understood, since the higher-ups probably all tried taking the lead instead but Minseok probably silenced them or killed those who were too much trouble and now he’s basically Cobra’s leader."

 

"He didn’t lose even a single second," Chanyeol couldn’t help but say through gritted teeth, stomach churning with anger at the thought that Minseok had finally reached his initial aim. He was finally King, after taking so many lives and Chanyeol was revolted at prospect of someone like him sitting on that cruel throne right after killing Kyungsoo. He couldn’t let it go on. "Did he take control over the whole business?"

 

"I don’t know about that," Baekhyun sighed softly. "I assume he did because knowing him, he wouldn’t lose a single second and everyone is probably afraid of him so it would be easy for him to take over the whole of Cobra in just two weeks. He probably spread around the fact that he killed both Junmyeon and Sehun to use everyone’s fear to his advantage and if we add to that his already worrying reputation, it would be easy for him."

 

"He hasn’t tried attacking us though," Chanyeol hummed softly.

 

"I don’t know why, maybe he expects us to simply run away and leave him alone?"

 

"Probably not," he shook his head. He knew Minseok too much for that to even be a possibility. "He probably wants to put us on edge and is waiting for us to make a mistake. He might be looking for us and he might find us soon too."

 

"He might," Baekhyun pursed his lips. "I don’t know what he’s currently doing, there’s no way for me to know but I know that he at least has an ally," Baekhyun said, finger sliding on the trackpad of his laptop before he pressed on it and a picture appeared on the screen. 

 

"That’s Jongdae," Chanyeol sighed, a bitter taste invading his mouth even if he already knew whose side Jongdae would choose. The worst thing about all of this was that one by one, Chanyeol was pushed to fight the people he had alway considered as brothers. It wasn’t the case anymore, however, no matter how much he told himself that they had never been a family to begin with, it was still difficult. "Isn’t that Junmyeon’s house?"

 

"It is. It was taken from the security camera in front of it right before Minseok shot it and destroyed it."

 

"How did he know we could watch him from here?" Chanyeol asked as Baekhyun pressed on a  few keys that seemed to play the last few seconds recorded by the camera, Jongdae appearing in the shot, followed by Minseok who glanced at the camera once before shooting it with the gun that he pulled out from under the hem of his jacket. The screen went black instantly but it wasn’t difficult  to figure out that Minseok had probably started living in Junmyeon’s house, maybe along with Jongdae. He really had no shame and would milk Junmyeon’s power until the last drop.

 

"He knew, we told him that we could watch them so he probably figured out a long time ago but didn’t find it necessary to destroy the camera since he was supposed to help us," Baekhyun frowned and it was obvious in the tensed up line of his jawline that the mere mention of Minseok’s name was enough to anger him. "This was from two weeks ago, the day after Junmyeon’s death. I don’t have the skill to hack into any other camera but he probably destroyed all of them too anyway."

 

"So you’ve been watching us like this for the whole time," Chanyeol commented even if he already had figured that Baekhyun had been watching him and the others closely since the beginning.

 

"Well, not really," Baekhyun shrugged before a tiny smile tugged the corners of his lips upwards. "Kyungsoo tried hacking into Junmyeon’s security system and his cameras a lot but each time he managed to do it, he would be kicked out of it almost immediately since your hacker was really good and could detect him right away. Jongin always kicked him out of the system so it was easier to get into it from time to time, just for a few seconds if we knew there would actually be something to see."

 

"I remember Jongin telling Junmyeon about it once but it wasn’t something unusual," Chanyeol replied softly, a smile forming on his lips as he remembered the way Jongin would always boast about kicking hackers out of their systems to Junmyeon just to get the other to reward him with more money. The memory was bittersweet and he sighed, trying not to linger on it. "A lot of our enemies tried doing it, I guess he never really thought it would be you."

 

"It’s possible, Kyungsoo stopped trying too often after a while," Baekhyun explained and they weren’t watching the same memories in their mind but Chanyeol knew that they shared the bittersweetness of it all. "He actually was rather amused by it and he kept trying but not with the intent of actually watching what was happening there. I guess it turned into a competition after a while, to see how long Kyungsoo could last before Jongin managed to kick him out of the system."

 

It wasn’t even surprising to hear that kind of thing and Chanyeol could almost visualize that scene in his head, Jongin getting involved in a childish battle with another hacker behind the screen of his computer late at night and sporting that wide grin that made him look like a child on a Christmas morning whenever he managed to kick Kyungsoo out of the system. He had probably taken great pleasure in it and that might explain why he had never really tried upgrading the system instead of having to kick hackers out of it every single time they took control of it. If Jongin were here with them, it would have been easier, he would have told them what to do and how to gain the upper hand. He would have helped them and unlike Jongdae, he would have taken Chanyeol’s side because he was the most loyal friend Chanyeol had ever had and he would always be by his side, no matter how stupid the road Chanyeol took would be. 

 

It had been so unfair. Jongin had died out of a monster’s greed for power and control over Chanyeol who still felt nausea crawling into his stomach whenever he thought about Junmyeon’s last words before he died, the way he had explained the twisted feelings he had for Chanyeol, the lust for control over him and the way he objectified Chanyeol whom he had never genuinely loved. Love wasn’t even close to what Junmyeon had nurtured for him, it was only a deeply rooted feeling of possession and control from what Chanyeol managed to gather. Either way, it had been so unfair, both Jongin’s and Kyungsoo’s death, and the thought was enough to bring Chanyeol back to the goal they had at hand.

 

"Do you think we could actually go through with Kyungsoo’s initial plan?" he asked softly and Baekhyun seemed to be startled by his voice, as if he had been lost in his head, wandering through a maze of memories. He had been thinking about it for a while and even if they hadn’t managed to actually do it, Kyungsoo’s plan of trying to win Cobra over from the inside might still be a good idea. They had no choice. They were alone.

 

"I was actually trying to look up for more information on what he told me before–" he cut himself off with a deep intake of breath. It was still too early to actually put a name on what had happened to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol gently rubbed Baekhyun’s shoulder in silent support until he spoke again. "I gathered the names he had given me of people he thought could help us and I focused on the easiest target since we can’t go around asking everyone to help us."

 

"Who?" he asked, paying more attention to the screen as Baekhyun typed on the keyboard and pulled up a file containing a man’s picture along with a few lines of information about him next to it.

 

"Nam Joohyuk," Baekhyun started, pointing at the picture of a young handsome man with gentle features that probably hid a sinful soul. "He’s the head of Cobra’s drug branch. He doesn’t have much influence but he still used to be close enough to Sehun to know a lot about their business which means that he’s now probably close enough to Minseok as well."

 

"Why would he even help us? He doesn’t look like an easy target."

 

"He never had a good relationship with Sehun and he used to be one of our other informants inside Cobra but he didn’t know who we were. He’s greedy and fell into it as soon as Kyungsoo brought up our will to take Sehun down from his position so he helped us a little bit in return of some money but he cut every form of contact since Sehun’s death. Minseok probably scared all of them," Baekhyun snorted.

 

"If he cut contact with you and Minseok scared him away, it would be difficult for us to convince him again," Chanyeol commented, hesitating a bit since it might be too reckless of them to do such a thing.

 

"It’s our only chance, you said it yourself. It would be good to have someone helping us from inside because right now, there’s no way for us to know anything about what Minseok is planning," Baekhyun explained, furrowing his eyebrows a bit.

 

"He could rat us out to Minseok as soon as we contact him, Baekhyun."

 

"He won’t, Chanyeol."

 

"How are you so so sure?" 

 

"He won’t do it we approach him the best way possible," Baekhyun shrugged before curving his lips into that usual confident smile. "We can threaten him. If he’s scared of Minseok, he probably won’t like the idea of Minseok finding out that he could betray him. He’s rather stupid, he managed to snatch the spot as the head of Cobra’s drug branch because his father used to have the position. He’s easy."

 

"Alright but what is he even going to tell us if we convince him?" Chanyeol sighed, uneasy about the whole ordeal. It sounded too dangerous.

 

"He can just inform us about what Minseok is planning to do and what his schedule is like," Baekhyun said mockingly, as if the idea of Minseok actually being at the head of Cobra was absurd. It was. "We can’t just wait for Minseok to strike us first and catch us off guard like Junmyeon did, Chanyeol. We have to act faster than him. We have to control things for it to end the way we want it to."

 

It was a weak plan once again, one that could work really well if they did it properly but also one that could drag them down to their end. Chanyeol really didn’t want to find himself in the same situation as two weeks ago, helpless and at someone’s mercy but he couldn’t deny the fact that Baekhyun was right either. They couldn’t just hide here like cowards and wait for Minseok to find them. That had already happened once and Chanyeol was tired of always being the losing party, he couldn’t protect Baekhyun just by hiding him away and he knew that it wasn’t what he wanted to do either, deep down. 

 

Moreover, Baekhyun was looking at him with confidence, as if he genuinely believed that they could win this battle if they chose their moves right and they had no choice. They had no better plan and it was still better than blindly throwing themselves into Junmyeon’s house with the aim of killing Minseok in his sleep. He couldn’t act like a coward right after telling Baekhyun that they had nothing to fear, not when the other was looking at him with a hopeful glint in his beautiful eyes, as if even now, he would do whatever Chanyeol told him to but he still hoped that the other would listen to him. He was tired of being so passive. Baekhyun was right, they couldn’t just wait for things to happen on their own.

 

"Alright, let’s do that," he finally said, breathing those words out and hoping that the air leaving his mouth would carry the last crumbles of fear he still had in him. He had nothing to fear anyway. As long ad Baekhyun would be with him, he had nothing to fear. He’d do anything to protect Baekhyun and he was aware that the only way to do that would be to get rid of Minseok. He would do it. 

 

"Great!" Baekhyun instantly perked up, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he looked at Chanyeol with a wide grin. Chanyeol couldn’t ignore the small dusting of relief at the corner of his lips. 

 

It was okay. They would do this together.

 

"Let’s contact him," he said, wanting to start doing things as soon as possible now that he knew both of them were ready to win this harsh and exhausting battle.

 

"We will," Baekhyun nodded as he closed the lid of his laptop and pushed it away so it would rest next to him on the couch instead of on his lap. He then turned to Chanyeol and gently patted his cheek in an almost mocking way, cooing his next words at him. "But for now, it’s time to go to bed."

 

"What?" Chanyeol couldn’t help but stupidly say when the other continued patting his cheek like he would do to a young and naive child, that mocking and teasing grin still wide on his lips. Chanyeol frowned in confusion and grabbed his wrist to pull his hand away. "What the hell are you doing?"

 

"We need to sleep, Chanyeol-ah," Baekhyun shrugged, way too amused by the situation. "We’re going to wake up early tomorrow morning."

 

"Why? Where are we going?" he demanded answers, slightly ticked off by the way Baekhyun actually came back to his old self and had taken the reigns of Chanyeol’s life once again, leaving him in the dark albeit still allowing him more light. Chanyeol couldn’t mind, though, not when Baekhyun’s eyes sparkled that way only for him.

 

"We’re going to pay a visit to Kyungsoo’s house," Baekhyun shrugged.

 

Chanyeol looked at him blankly for a few seconds. "Are you stupid?" he then deadpanned, unable to see how going to Kyungsoo’s house would help them when Junmyeon had been about to find them there and Minseok probably knew its location too.

 

"You might be the stupid one if you think I’m going to fight that psycho with kitchen knives," Baekhyun snorted, still mostly amused by Chanyeol’s reaction. "We have nothing here, apart from kitchen utensils and I don’t think those would be the best weapons to use in order to chase the evil spirit away. Not when he’s supposed to be human, at least."

 

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol said, not able to keep his voice from sliding into that tone of impatience adults often used when a child was starting to annoy them too much by insisting to go play outside in the middle of a storm. Baekhyun’s smile grew even more amused. "There are probably people waiting for us to go back there. It would be dangerous."

 

"Alright, then how else do you expect us to get weapons?" Baekhyun asked, raising an eyebrow as if he already knew Chanyeol had no answer.

 

And he really had no answer because apart from a single gun Baekhyun had found under the bed of the bedroom, they really had nothing to defend themselves with and finding weapons would be difficult when Chanyeol mostly used a sniper riffle and Cobra led the arms trafficking in Seoul. 

 

"Thought so," Baekhyun snorted softly and his features softened when Chanyeol glared at him a bit, still silent. "Minseok probably knows we aren’t planning to go back there so there might not even be anyone waiting for us. It’s been two weeks after all, he knows we’re not coming back there and we’ll go early in the morning to avoid the bustle of the night. If there really is someone watching the house, they would probably change shifts early in the morning, we’d catch them off guard."

 

It actually did make sense and that was the worst part of it because no matter how much he tried denying it, Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun was right. As always.

 

"Fine but if someone tries shooting us, I’ll use you as a shield," he finally said after a few silent seconds spent thinking with Baekhyun’s heavy and insistent gaze on him.

 

The other immediately perked up, obviously happy that Chanyeol had agreed to two of his stupid ideas and the next second, Chanyeol found himself with an armful of a smirking and amused Baekhyun whose heartbreakingly beautiful smile was getting too close to his own lips.

 

"Of course you will," he drawled out, muttering those words right against Chanyeol’s lips before he pressed a soft kiss against his couplets, like the gentle and fleeting touch of a butterfly’s wings that still managed to send this heart crashing against his ribcage, caught in the eye of a storm made out of wild and hammering beats.

 

When he pulled away, he looked at Chanyeol with a winner’s smile and it was obvious that he thought that instead of using him as a shield, Chanyeol would rather jump in front of Baekhyun to use himself as a shield for the other. The worst thing about it was that it was entirely true and as Baekhyun’s smile turned gentle, his tender gaze boring into Chanyeol’s and somehow clearing away any trace of shadows left in his head, he couldn’t help but think that even if Baekhyun was probably dragging him into trouble and would probably continue dragging him into trouble for the rest of his life, Chanyeol would still give everything to spend every single second of it by his side, until his last breath would be stolen away from him.


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

 

That question had left his lips at least twice since they had first gotten into the car and Baekhyun had asked, or more like forced Chanyeol to drive towards Kyungsoo’s house and now, as the car was parked on the side of the road right beside the woods, Chanyeol couldn’t help but repeat it again because _he_ wasn’t sure this was a good idea at all. Baekhyun, on the other hand, seemed tired of hearing that question and he didn’t even reply to Chanyeol, simply rolling his eyes and mumbling something that oddly sounded like _coward_ before he opened the door and got out of the door. Chanyeol was almost sure that word was pronounced on purpose because before he even noticed it, he had followed Baekhyun out of the car, sparked off by the accusation. 

 

Chanyeol wasn’t scared per say, he was just reticent about this whole weak plan that Baekhyun had forced on him last night and that he had yielded to because it was almost impossible to refuse anything to Baekhyun when he was looking at you with those tender eyes and sharing his breath with you, his alluring lips brushing against yours with each pronounced word. One day, perhaps, Chanyeol would stop falling for the other’s tricks.

 

"If you ask that question to me one more time, I’ll bury you next to that tree," Baekhyun said sternly, pointing to one of the dozens of trees at his left. However, he wasn’t angry, Chanyeol could see amusement swirling in his eyes and somehow, that was worse than anger.

 

He simply sighed, grumbling under his breath as he locked the car and walked towards Baekhyun who stepped into the woods as soon as Chanyeol was close enough to him and motioned him to follow as they took the path towards the house they hadn’t seen in two weeks. The sun hadn’t fully risen from its sleep yet, the sky painted in dark blue, pink, and purple hues that meshed together in a big cloud that actually prevented light from reaching them properly. It was still eery in the woods, rather dark as the clouds in the sky and the leaves of the tall trees around them spread shadows around them but Baekhyun seemed to know his way around the woods so Chanyeol trusted him and walked alongside him. They were already there anyway and backing away now would be useless when Chanyeol knew they had to go through this in order to make everything easier later on. They needed weapons anyway, Baekhyun was right, and he was probably just being petty because the other had pulled him out of his sleep so early in the morning.

 

Spring had settled over the country a long time ago but it was still too early in the morning for the weather to fit a walk in the woods, the breeze that danced around them gentle but still rather cold on Chanyeol’s face. They didn’t even have much clothes back where they were staying now but he had managed to find a sweater that was warm enough for now and it had been much easier for Baekhyun to find fitting clothes as well but Chanyeol could still see the tense line on his shoulders, something that could be there either out of nervousness or simply because he was cold.

 

"Are you cold?" Chanyeol asked just to make sure, even if there wasn’t much he do could about it when he didn’t have a jacket to offer to Baekhyun or an embrace to wrap around him in such a dangerous environment.  
  
It was silent all around them, nothing but the woods’s natural sounds greeting them with the gentle wind, the melodious chirping of birds, the leaves rustling in their trees, and the sound of their footsteps as they walked on a few dead leaves or dry sticks that snapped under their feet. There was no sign of danger for now but Chanyeol was still rather alert, the gun that they had found in their house still resting against his waist, tucked under the hem of his jeans and easy to reach in case he would have to use it. However, the woods were empty, there weren’t even animals and they were still close to the road so it wasn’t surprising but Chanyeol knew not to lower his guard until they would be back in the car and on the road to a safe place again.

 

"A little bit," Baekhyun replied, looking at him with a light smile now that Chanyeol wasn’t asking the same question over and over again.

 

"Your fault," was the only thing Chanyeol replied, however, just to irritate Baekhyun who snorted at his face and gave him a mock condescending look before looking in front of him again.

 

"We’re close," he said instead and the next few minutes were spent in silence since they didn’t want to alert anyone of their presence if there were any ears close enough to hear them.

 

Soon, Chanyeol felt Baekhyun tensing up next to him and when he looked properly in front of him instead of letting his eyes take in every possible shadow hiding behind the trees, he caught a glimpse of a familiar house, still far enough to look tiny but close enough for Chanyeol to feel something painful shift in his chest. It would be empty, Kyungsoo wouldn’t be there to open the door to them and scold Baekhyun for his stupidity the way he had done almost a month ago now and the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

 

Baekhyun suddenly stopped walking, surprising Chanyeol who stopped in his tracks a few steps later as he had been distracted with the memories and hadn’t immediately noticed that Baekhyun wasn’t walking next to him anymore. He turned to the other, his heart twisting in his chest when he saw the way Baekhyun was looking around, his chest heaving up as he seemed to take a deep breath in. Chanyeol hadn’t thought about how difficult it would be for Baekhyun to go back to a house he had lived with Kyungsoo in for two years and find it empty or possibly occupied by people who were waiting for them to show up in order to kill them and instantly, guilt simmered in his stomach, spreading through his whole body. Maybe he should have insisted more and refused to come back here, this was one of the main reasons why he had been so reticent in agreeing to this idea. It was too early, Chanyeol hadn’t been able to even drive past Jongin’s house once since his death and here Baekhyun was, forcing himself to go back there only two weeks after Kyungsoo’s death.

 

Baekhyun was strong, stronger than Chanyeol even, but there was just so much he could take, he was human too and not being able to just absorb all of his pain and chase it away felt like nothing but a long and slow agony to Chanyeol.

 

However, he had to be strong for Baekhyun too so he stepped closer to him again, his hands reaching for the other’s, fingers gently lacing with his without any difficult, as if their hands had always been meant to hold each other tightly and never let go. He let his gaze travel the familiar path that was Baekhyun’s face, a trail his gaze had gone through hundreds of times before but one that would never cease to amaze him since each time his eyes wandered over Baekhyun’s beautiful features, he always found a part that was more mesmerizing than it had been the last time. Looking at Baekhyun was like taking an eternal journey that would never end and that would never cease to amaze you no matter how much you went over it before, it was like traveling to a place you wanted to find yourself in again as soon as you left, his gaze constantly drawn to Baekhyun no matter how much he forced himself not to look at him.

 

Besides beauty, there was sorrow on Baekhyun’s features this time, however, Chanyeol could see it on the furrow of his eyebrows and on the lines it drew on his forehead, his eyes filled with a glint that Chanyeol had became well acquainted with for the past few weeks. He kept looking around, his gaze not settling on a single place but raking all over the woods, jumping to the house across them and then to the trees besides them before finally settling on Chanyeol. 

 

"It happened just there," were the soft words Baekhyun pronounced, his hands vaguely motioning around them before suddenly, his frown turned into one filled with anger. "I was just there when Junmyeon’s men attacked me."

 

Those words were like a needle to Chanyeol’s heart and he looked around as well, obviously not seeing any trace of what had happened to Baekhyun here but still able to imagine the whole scene in his head. He hated the mere images flashing in his mind, he hated the fact that that had happened at all, and he hated the fact that Baekhyun had this kind of memory haunting him in his dreams. He didn’t want to let the other know, however, and he didn’t want Baekhyun to linger on it either so he simply squeezed his hands harder, leaning to gently press his lips against one corner of Baekhyun’s, earning his attention and shaking him off the bad memories.

 

"It’s okay, I’m here now," he said, gaze drowning in the ocean of sorrow he could see in Baekhyun’s to make sure he would understand what Chanyeol meant. He was here now, he wouldn’t let anything of that sort happen to Baekhyun again. He would protect him with his own life if needed but he wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt Baekhyun ever again. 

 

A soft smile blossomed on Baekhyun’s lips and he said nothing but Chanyeol could read the words he wanted to say in his eyes, tender sparks of love and gratefulness chasing away the swirls of sorrow and fear in his dark orbs. Once he was sure that Baekhyun was okay again, Chanyeol gave his hands a gentle squeeze before letting go one of them to pull him alongside as he continued walking towards the house, wanting to get this done with as soon as possible so they could go back, away from the bad memories and the sorrow Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to ignore here.

 

Baekhyun soon started leading the way again and he seemed to suddenly gain a surge of confidence, the tension in his shoulders vanishing away and his chin held high as his gaze never once strayed away from their destination. Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile at that, chest filling up with warmth at the prospect that Baekhyun really wouldn’t be scared of anything as long as their hands were tightly clasped together. He didn’t fear anything either and soon, they reached the house, only a few feet separating them from the wide mansion.

 

They stopped walking, hiding behind a large tree and taking a few seconds to observe what they were about to throw themselves into. The house looked no different than how Chanyeol had last seen it, it was still big, still painted in a calm beige color, and it still looked imposing, with its wide windows, its two floors, and the grass surrounding it that seemed to have grown out too much since there was no one left to take care of it properly. There was nothing different and yet, Chanyeol felt way too different when his gaze trailed over it. It was empty and that thought was painful but he still forced himself to observe his surroundings, noting that the blinds were still open, left untouched as if someone still spent their days in the house, but it was entirely silent and there was no movement discernible through the windows. 

 

There were no cars parked in front of it either and no threatening form walking around it to check the surroundings which meant that, at first sight, the house was indeed empty but Chanyeol wouldn’t trust that too much. It was still way too early in the morning and it wouldn’t be surprising if the people awaiting them there had merely fallen asleep and would be ready to wake up as soon as they’d step into the house. He dragged his gaze back to Baekhyun who looked up at him as well, similar thoughts probably going through his head.

 

"There seems to be no one," he said softly, making sure that his voice would be barely audible because they couldn’t be careful enough when they didn’t even have proper means of protecting themselves. "But that doesn’t mean there actually is no one."

 

"We settled on not killing anyone if we encounter someone," Baekhyun reminded him and it wasn’t difficult to discern the notes of disapproval in his voice.

 

"It would be a stupid move to just kill anyone, it would alert Minseok and he’d know that we’re preparing something," he reminded the other because as much as Baekhyun could come up with stupid but probably efficient plans, he was too reckless. "We’re not killing anyone unless we have to."

 

"So we’re going to play hide and seek in this house?" Baekhyun snorted, obviously displeased with it.

 

"We’re good at hide and seek, aren’t we? We played it together for a while," Chanyeol retorted with a raised eyebrow, referring to all the times he had to run after Baekhyun in the streets.

 

"True, I guess it’s more entertaining this way too but if we’re in danger, I won’t hesitate to do it," Baekhyun finally conceded and Chanyeol was relieved that they wouldn’t have a problem concerning what to do inside. 

 

Then, they silently looked at each other, nodding before they started slowly and carefully advancing towards the house, going around it by the woods to use the back door since Baekhyun said he could find the key to open it easily and it would we less alerting if someone was inside. They were careful with their footsteps and they advanced in one single line, Baekhyun walking in front of Chanyeol who made sure to rake their surroundings with his eyes to spot any sign of danger. There really was no one, however, and they managed to reach the backdoor safely, Chanyeol gesturing at Baekhyun to wait as he took a few seconds to lean towards the door and just listen.

 

There was no sign of life inside, no footsteps, no muffled voices, and no stray sound that could come from an electronic device such as a phone or the television but they were at the back of the house and it was less likely to hear anything coming from inside from there. However, he still nodded at Baekhyun who took it as a sign to start moving and immediately crouched down after stepping closer to the two small flowerpots that were right against the wall, next to the door. The flowers that had once been colorful and bright were now withered, their colors dark and sickly but Baekhyun didn’t even glance at them, only grabbing the smaller of the pots with one hand to tilt it until one side was off the ground. There was a small key on the ground, dirtied and darkened as it probably spent way too much time there and Chanyeol found it weird that they would keep a key there when anyone could simply lift the flowerpots up to find it but Baekhyun had told him that this house had been unregistered for a long time and that even he had forgotten the existence of that key until last night.

 

Once he grabbed it, Baekhyun stood up again and grabbed the doorknob with one hand as the other guided the small key towards the hole. However, Chanyeol’s hand shot up to grab his arm and he stopped him, replying to the confused look Baekhyun gave him with a raise of his eyebrows as his other hand grabbed the gun that had been tucked under the hem of his jeans. He grabbed it tightly and aimed towards the door, gently pushing Baekhyun to the side a bit so he would be the one directly standing in the entrance when it would open. Baekhyun had nothing but a kitchen knife hidden somewhere in his sleeves to defend himself and Chanyeol wasn’t about to put him in danger so only once he made sure that everything would okay did he motion Baekhyun to unlock the door.

 

The other did it slowly, turning the key in its hole as quietly as possible after giving Chanyeol a tightlipped smile, and once the door unlocked with a drowned out and soft click, they both froze, waiting for a few seconds for any kind of sound to reach their ears and alert them. However, nothing happened so Baekhyun slowly pushed the door open, letting Chanyeol step in front of him. He glanced inside, gun still aimed in front of him but there was no sign of life so he stepped inside, Baekhyun following after him and stopping when he did so they could listen to their surroundings once again. The house seemed frozen even if the backdoor only led to a small hallway that opened into the kitchen, it almost seemed like they had entered a foreign world where there was no one but them and the caution with which they slowly advanced towards the kitchen, Chanyeol still a step ahead of Baekhyun to clear the path.

 

They walked alongside the walls, grazing them to conceal themselves from anyone who might watch and stopping right before the door opened into the kitchen to check whether it was empty or not. Chanyeol’s gaze traveled over the room, the black and white cabinets and the counter that was decorated with various cooking utensils, kitchen knives and a rice cooker resting on the other side of the stove, the small kitchen island surrounded by stools that were pushed against it neatly, not protruding too much away from it. There was no sign of life, nothing that indicated them that the kitchen had been used in the past two weeks but Baekhyun still seemed to wait for a sign from Chanyeol before he stepped inside and looked around as well. His gaze then found Chanyeol’s and they silently communicated through it for a few seconds before Baekhyun motioned towards the exit, silently telling Chanyeol to continue advancing since they would need to cross the kitchen to reach the main entrance hall where they would take the stairs that would lead them up to the bedroom.

 

Chanyeol gave the other a small nod before gesturing him to follow as he stepped out of the kitchen and into the entrance hall that was, as predicted, empty and bare of any notable change since the last time Chanyeol had been there. However, instead of heading towards the stairs, Chanyeol simply walked towards the living room, fingers still gripping his gun tightly and ready to shoot if needed. He ignored the frown of confusion that Baekhyun gave him before following him and only focused on all of his senses as he tried checking whether the living room was empty or not since that was probably the most likely place he would have chosen to stay in if he were given the duty of watching over this house. He pressed his back against the wall, right next to the entrance and waited for a few seconds, listening as he felt Baekhyun rest next to him before peeking into the room and once again, finding it empty.

 

He felt Baekhyun take a peek over his shoulder as well before the other relaxed and let out a long breath at the same time as Chanyeol who turned to him and finally lowered his gun, his whole body remaining tense and alert, however.

 

"There’s no one," Baekhyun said, voice soft and tone low as if he found the house way too silent to actually speak with a normal volume.

 

"That’s weird," Chanyeol replied back in the same tone. He would’ve expected Minseok to plant a few men around here to wait for their return even if Chanyeol knew they wouldn’t have come back at all had they not been in dire need of weapons to fight with. However, Minseok didn’t know that so maybe he really did think that Chanyeol was smart enough not to come back here and had taken his men away after a few days. 

 

"It’s perfect, we can just take what we need and leave," Baekhyun shrugged and, as usual, he was way too relaxed for such a dangerous situation.

 

"Let’s be quick and not linger around too much," Chanyeol simply said, unable to stop his gaze from raking over their surroundings as he couldn’t help but think that they still weren’t safe.

 

"Fine," Baekhyun shook his head a bit but the gesture contained more endearment than irritation so Chanyeol let it go. "I’ll go upstairs and you go to the basement to get whatever you need. There’s a few riffles there, take what you want."

 

"Splitting up is not a good idea," he frowned, not really appreciating the prospect of letting Baekhyun wander around alone even if this was technically his house and there seemed to be no one but them. It still wasn’t safe enough.

 

"You’re the one who said that we should be quick, we’ll be slower if I wait for you to get what you need from the basement," Baekhyun argued calmly and once again, he did make sense so Chanyeol sighed but nodded halfheartedly. The quicker they’d be out of here, the better it would be.

 

"Alright, let’s meet here in ten minutes. If you’re not here in the minutes, I’ll go upstairs. Scream if you need me," Chanyeol said, staring at the shorter to make sure that he’d understand how serious he was.

 

Baekhyun simply snorted, his lips curving into an amused smile as he looked up at Chanyeol, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

"I’m not some weak damsel in distress, Chanyeol. I can defend myself if anything happens, you know it," he said and the way his smile suddenly turned smug was enough for Chanyeol to know that he was referring to the fight he had lost against Baekhyun only yesterday. " _You_ scream if you need me."

 

And it was true, Baekhyun could defend himself. He could even defend Chanyeol if it was ever needed, he was one of the best fighters Chanyeol knew and he was just as talented in aiming with a sniper riffle from the top of a building so there really shouldn’t be anything to worry about but he just couldn’t help it. It was almost natural to worry about Baekhyun and protecting him from anything and everything remotely harmful was like an instinct that Chanyeol could never rid himself of, no matter what. Baekhyun was strong, he was far from being weak, and he could defend himself more than anyone but in Chanyeol’s eyes, he’d always be the beautiful, fragile, and precious flower that no one should even lay a finger on lest the ethereal beauty of its gentle petals would wither. 

 

He couldn’t allow that to happen and Baekhyun seemed to know what was going through Chanyeol’s mind because in the next second, his smile grew wider but gentler, like the expending pinkish petals of a flower that danced along with the gentle summer breeze. 

 

They had no time for Chanyeol to waste on admiring Baekhyun, however, and with a quirk of the other’s eyebrows, he snapped back into the present situation, taking a deep breath before leaning to press a fleeting peck on Baekhyun’s lips. It was almost energizing, as if his lips were really part of a flower and Baekhyun held in them the delicious and revitalizing nectar that Chanyeol needed to function properly.

 

"Just shut up and be careful," he whispered into Baekhyun’s mouth, breathing him in deeply once before the other nodded and gave him a gentle smile.

 

Chanyeol looked at him for a few more seconds, just to comfort himself, before parting from him and heading towards the stairs that would take him to the basement. Right before taking them down, he glanced over his shoulder to see Baekhyun already disappearing upstairs, the sight as worrying as it was reassuring.

 

However, he didn’t waste more time and simply went down to the basement, still on his guard and focusing on any worrying sound or sight he might encounter on his way down there. He did his best to stay quiet even if there really seemed to be no one but them which he actually couldn’t say for sure because they hadn’t even checked the rooms upstairs and anyone could be hiding there. They hadn’t heard anything though, and Chanyeol knew that if something really were to happen, Baekhyun would be able to get himself out of the situation and he should simply focus on getting whatever they needed.

 

The basement was no different than it had been on the last day Chanyeol had spent there, it was still cold, still dark, the lights still didn’t work in the hallway and Chanyeol felt a shiver running down his spine at the familiarity of it all. He wasn’t there to find Baekhyun in the training room and playfully fight him though, nor was he there to vent off his frustration by shooting unappealing targets. He was there to get whatever he needed and leave as soon as possible. It wasn’t even a matter of safety anymore, Chanyeol simply didn’t feel comfortable here when he knew that the owner of the house would never step into it ever again.

 

Without losing time, he headed to the room that contained the shooting range along with the closet where most of the weapons were held, still quiet and careful in his steps and still checking if the room was empty before stepping into it. It indeed was empty and Chanyeol immediately walked to the closet that he opened without any difficulty since he had had the occasion to use the weapons that were now offered to him many times before. 

 

There was a wide range of choice in front of him but Chanyeol didn’t dwell on what to choose for too long, his gaze was immediately drawn to the sniper riffle that rested there, held by a few straps against the black velvet of the cushion that covered the back of the small closet to prevent anything from happening to the expensive and dangerous weapons held there. He quickly unstrapped it from its spot with skilled fingers since he was experienced enough to know how to treat this kind of weapon and didn’t fear accidentally shooting or anything of that sort. As soon as he could properly hold the weapon, he did so, fingers tight around it, one of them resting on the trigger as he tried aiming through the scope mount that had already been fixated on it. It felt as if a lifetime had passed since the last time he had held a sniper riffle and suddenly, Chanyeol felt in his element again. He wasn’t made to use small guns that could take someone’s life away in a single shot but that didn’t come with the thrill of actually aiming from afar and watching as your target crumbled to the ground with a single clean hole on their forehead. It almost felt painful but Chanyeol couldn’t deny the fact that he had missed this, no matter how much he sometimes hated the life that had basically been imposed to him.

 

He took a grip of himself back after a few seconds, however, knowing that he didn’t have time to waste on nostalgia, and grabbed the long, black case that was resting on one of the shelves built on the bottom of the closet. He put it on the ground before opening it and nodding in satisfaction as he carefully put the riffle inside, securing it with the straps before standing up again and grabbing three other guns that might not be neither his nor Baekhyun’s preferred mean of attack but that could still be useful. He secured them in the case as much as he could since there wasn’t enough room for more than a riffle and two guns, his hands then quickly grabbing the munitions that he’d need for all these weapons as he continuously glanced over his shoulder to watch the door and stopped moving every few seconds to listen to his surroundings. It would be difficult to hear anything from this room since it was basically sound proof because of the shooting range but it was still a habit he didn’t want to get rid of when Baekhyun was alone upstairs.

 

As soon as he was done, he closed the case, locking it before standing up and closing the closet as well, making sure to leave it as he had found it and finally grabbing the case. He took a deep breath, not out of nervousness or worry but because he was starting to feel suffocated in this room when memories of his time spent there wouldn’t stop swarming his head. He chanced a glance towards the shooting booths, pain piercing through Chanyeol’s chest like a single tiny needle, not strong enough for him to linger on it too much but still a bit painful and distracting, like an itch he couldn’t scratch. Kyungsoo had given him advise about his relationship with Baekhyun in this exact room, there, near the shooting stalls when Chanyeol was overwhelmed with anger, guilt, and a deep worry concerning their future. He had been so calm as he joked around with Chanyeol for a bit, with that comforting heart shaped smile on his lips, before he had pulled his bushy eyebrows into a slight frown, his wide eyes filling with an endeared irritation as he had explained things about Baekhyun to Chanyeol, opening his eyes on his faults and wrongdoings.

 

He had so many things to thank Kyungsoo for, so many things to be grateful of, and still so many things to learn from the other but Chanyeol would never be able to do it and maybe the realization hit him at that exact moment because the needle in his heart suddenly expanded, growing and thickening until it dug a wide hole in chest. The pain was so similar to what he had felt when losing Jongin and Chanyeol realized that it wasn’t different, if Jongin had been a best friend, a real brother to him, then Kyungsoo had been an elder brother, someone who shared his thoughts and his wise words with a clueless Chanyeol who had needed it more than anything else.

 

However, that pain simmered in his heart, spreading through his whole chest while hardening and oddly turning into something that felt like steel, cold, harsh, and unbendable, something like determination and anger, maybe something like the thirst for revenge. 

 

He wouldn’t let his friends’ death go to waste. He wouldn’t let Minseok get away with it.

 

With a last look around the room and a deep, difficult intake of breath, Chanyeol finally headed towards the door again, his own gun still in hand as he kept checking his surroundings for any sign of danger while heading towards the stairs that he climbed quickly, his long legs dragging him up two steps at a time even if the sound of his footsteps was skillfully muffled and quiet, as it should be. There was still no one in the entrance hallway when he reached it and as reassuring as that was, it also meant that Baekhyun wasn’t done looking for his daggers and Chanyeol was left to wait for him, a ball of anxiety nestled in the pit of his stomach like a small but wild flame on the hearth of a fireplace. He waited for a few seconds, gaze raking all around him out of habit as he tried his best to stay still and listen, hoping to catch any sound that might indicate to him where Baekhyun was or if anything had happened to him. The more he waited, the more impatience and worry seeped into his mind, however, loud and impossible to ignore, like the song of crows at night and already, Chanyeol was starting to regret having agreed to let Baekhyun wander upstairs alone. They hadn’t checked the house enough, there could still be somebody up there. What if Baekhyun had stumbled upon one of Minseok’s men and had been taken off guard? 

 

It was starting to get impossible to wait there and stay still, his gaze continuously flickering to the stairs as he debated whether he should actually go up and find Baekhyun to make sure that he was okay. He had told the other that he would join him after waiting for ten minutes but Chanyeol hadn’t even kept count on how much time had passed since they had parted their ways so there was no way for him to actually know whether Baekhyun was late or if he just had been too quick and impatient.

 

His feet were already begging him to be let free to climb up the stairs and Chanyeol was on the verge of snapping but just as he took a step forward, a shadow suddenly was drawn on the light off-white colored stairs and Chanyeol felt his whole body tensing up as he automatically stretched out the hand that had still been holding onto a gun, aiming towards the intruder as he stepped back a bit to make sure that whoever was descending the stairs wouldn’t immediately see him standing there. He held his breath, fingers tight on the gun that he gripped firmly as he waited, watching and listening to the muffled footsteps that were getting closer to him as questions suddenly started swarming his head and pounding in his skull alongside his rapid paced heartbeat. Did Baekhyun not notice that someone was upstairs? Did something happen to him? Why hadn’t Chanyeol just went upstairs as soon as he was done instead of stupidly and uselessly waiting there?

 

Despite the onslaught of worry and dark thoughts in his head, his grip was firm on the gun and his finger tightened on the trigger as soon as he could see a pair of legs descending the stairs but when he recognized those shoes, tension suddenly vanished away from his body and before he even had the occasion to let out a relieved breath, Baekhyun’s beautiful features greeted him. His eyes lighted up in relief when they met Chanyeol’s and he quickly climbed down the last steps, walking towards Chanyeol silently until they stood in front of each other, the glint in the shorter’s eyes suddenly turning into a mischievous one.

 

"Eager to see me?" were the soft yet teasing words that Baekhyun greeted him with, the playful smile on his lips almost pulling an automatic smile on Chanyeol’s own pair before he got a grip of himself and narrowed his eyes a bit, reminding himself not to stupidly smile at every silly thing Baekhyun said if he wanted the other to stop acting like a playful child. He should also work on concealing his feelings and especially the constant worry he felt about Baekhyun or else the latter would continue teasing him about it the way he did with the next words that he uttered, a pleased tone in his voice. "You were quicker than I expected. I know you can’t even spend a few seconds without me by your side but still, you shouldn’t rush things, Chanyeol-ah. We’re not hormonal high school students anymore, are we?"

 

"I’m not but I can’t say I’m sure about you. Your height is kinda confusing sometimes," he retorted with a serious expression, fighting off the triumphant smile that tried claiming a spot on his face when Baekhyun scrunched his nose the slightest bit in distaste, the teasing smile slipping off his face as soon as Chanyeol had uttered those words. It felt nice to win from time to time, even if it was a low blow that cost him the playful yet threatening look Baekhyun sent him.

 

"I’ll chop you off like a useless tree, Chanyeol," the other said and Chanyeol simply snorted, not even scared the slightest bit by that empty threat when it was obvious that Baekhyun had a hard time concealing the amusement sparkling in his eyes.

 

They had no time for childish banter, however, and Chanyeol’s gaze trailed over the other, observing him and noting that he was empty handed and looked the same way he did when they had parted ways a few minutes ago.

 

"Where are your daggers?" he asked, eyes lingering on the straps of the backpack hung on Baekhyun’s shoulders.

 

"Blades are made to be concealed under alluring clothes, not carried in your hands in the broad daylight," he replied, raising a brow as if to tell Chanyeol that he should already have known the answer.

 

"What’s in that?" he then asked, motioning towards the bag.

 

"Clothes," Baekhyun shrugged.

 

It wasn’t really an utmost necessity but it would still be way more comfortable to have his own clothes, or at least clothes that fit his size instead of either being way too short or way too baggy on him. He hadn’t entered this house with his luggage but there had already been clothes readied for him, as if they had known that Chanyeol would inevitably live with them here at some point and it had seemed odd to Chanyeol at first but he couldn’t deny that it had also been nice not to have to worry about clothing so he didn’t say anything.

 

"There was no one upstairs, right?" he asked the other instead.

 

"Nope, I didn’t check the other rooms since you said to be quick but I didn’t hear anything either so I guess there really isn’t anyone there," Baekhyun replied before his gaze fell to the case Chanyeol was carrying. "What did you get?"

 

"Sniper riffle, a few guns, and some munitions," he simply replied before throwing a look around. "We should go now, lingering around is useless."

 

No matter how safe it seemed, Chanyeol still wouldn’t be able to relax until they’d be back in the car and on the road to their own little house again.

 

"Let’s use the back door again, just in case," Baekhyun nodded and with that, they silently walked towards the exit.

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help but glance at Baekhyun from time to time, trying to read his feelings on his features but the only thing Baekhyun allowed anyone to see was the soft glean of sadness in his eyes, his features pulled into the usual blank expression he had on whenever he didn’t want to appear weak to anyone. However, Chanyeol knew him well enough to be able to see through it and it was obvious to him that being in this house wasn’t good for Baekhyun. He could basically feel the sorrow radiating off him and as much as Chanyeol had wanted to avoid this, he also knew that Baekhyun had probably wanted to return here to allow himself a proper closure, which would also explain why he had lingered upstairs for longer than expected.

 

He glanced around as well, taking in his surroundings one last time as they crossed the kitchen and headed into the hallway leading to the back door. He would miss this house, it had been nice to live here with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo even if it hadn’t lasted for longer than two weeks and Chanyeol wondered if they would be able to come back here again once everything would end and they wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

 

He could still hear the birds’ chirping from outside along with the wind that gently blew against the windows in the hallways but he paid attention to Baekhyun’s breathing as it arose in the air next to him in a slow and rhythmical pattern. However, the gentle rhythm was suddenly disturbed by muffled sounds coming from behind them and Chanyeol froze, his hand grabbing Baekhyun’s to stop him form walking as well. He listened, his eyes meeting Baekhyun’s confused ones as muffled footsteps echoed behind them, footsteps that didn’t belong to them and that seemed to be nearing them, judging by the way the sound was slowly getting louder. Baekhyun’s eyes widened a bit as well, indicating that he had heard the sound too, and Chanyeol’s heartbeat suddenly picked up. Why hadn’t they heard anyone until now? They had even talked for a while earlier and no one had appeared to disturb them so he had assumed that the house was empty but the footsteps were getting closer, proving him wrong. 

 

He felt Baekhyun tensing up under his touch and Chanyeol let go of him at once, his hand now reaching for the gun he had tucked under the waistband of his jeans. He had told Baekhyun to avoid a fight but if they had no choice, Chanyeol wouldn’t hesitate to break his own words and do whatever was needed to get themselves out of here safely. However, before he could even properly aim towards the entrance of the hallway to wait for whoever was approaching them, he suddenly felt a pair of hands push him back and he was about to protest but one look from Baekhyun was enough to shut him up. The other continued pushing Chanyeol back until he felt his back pressing against a wall, which actually turned out to be a door because the next second he was pushed further back and darkness surrounded him at once as his back was once again pressed against a more uncomfortable surface, hard things digging into his back as Baekhyun closed the door behind him. 

 

It was completely dark but it didn’t take Chanyeol long to figure out that the other had pushed him into a closet that probably stored cleaning supplies, judging by the chemical yet pleasant smell he breathed and the shelves that he felt digging into his back. It was a tiny and cramped space and even if Chanyeol couldn’t see anything at all, he still felt Baekhyun’s body pressing against his front and the shorter’s breath tickling his chin. It was highly uncomfortable, with the case still held in one hand, his other hand still gripping a gun, and Chanyeol couldn’t help but hiss his next words out.

 

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, voice barely audible even to his own ears since he could still hear muffled footsteps approaching, as if someone was descending the stairs and didn’t bother being quiet while doing it.

 

"Playing hide and seek," was the reply breathed out against his skin and he could barely even decipher Baekhyun’s words from how silent he was being but it was impossible for Chanyeol to miss the lilts of amusement carried in the other’s voice. "That’s what you wanted."

 

"Who’s there?" 

 

The muffled voice reached his ears before he could even muster a reply to Baekhyun and Chanyeol froze, feeling Baekhyun’s breath cutting off for a few seconds against him. The footsteps were definitely closer now and they stopped for a second, probably at the threshold of the hallway as whoever was there was checking their surroundings before stepping in. The voice was an unfamiliar one which was at least a bit reassuring since it meant they would at least not be chased by Minseok again but that didn't help Chanyeol calm down at all. They were hiding in a stupid closet because Baekhyun had chosen to turn this into a game when they could’ve simply gotten rid of the intruder and escaped.

 

Soon, he was able to discern vague shapes in the dark of the closet and he looked down, gaze raking over the shadows that formed Baekhyun’s face as the other seemed to be looking up at him. If he squinted a little, Chanyeol was almost sure he would be able to see the alluring yet infuriating curve of Baekhyun’s amused smile but he had no time to think about the fact that Baekhyun was enjoying this too much when the footsteps had started echoing again, closer to them, as if the man was walking towards the closet. They had been just about to reach the exit, the door was at the end of this hallway and Chanyeol tightened his grip on his gun, unable to move a single inch of his body when shelves were digging into his back and Baekhyun was leaning almost his whole weight against his front.

 

The only source of light was the small slit of sunlight seeping into the closet under the door so Chanyeol’s eyes aimed towards it to watch in case a shadow would disturb the long ray of light but before he could properly look, he felt fingers pressing on his chin. His eyebrows curved into a confused frown as Baekhyun gently turned his head to make him look into his eyes even if Chanyeol couldn’t actually see his eyes and his heart froze in his chest for a few seconds before hammering against his ribcage. He tensed up when the same fingers gently ghosted over the skin of his chin, their caress as soft and fleeting as Baekhyun’s breath tickling him. He felt Baekhyun pressing his body more against his, a thumb tracing the curve of his lower lip and suddenly, it was obvious what Baekhyun was trying to do, turning this into one of those games they hadn’t played in a long time, one where Baekhyun would always be the winner no matter what, one that Baekhyun set up on his own, and one that no one but him could control.

 

Chanyeol widened his eyes, turning his head to silently tell Baekhyun that this wasn’t the time to do this even if he couldn’t deny the light simmer of heat curling in his lower stomach as he could feel every inch of Baekhyun’s body pressed against his, their hearts beating together even if Chanyeol’s pace was way faster. Baekhyun didn’t pay mind to any of it and he simply pulled his hand away from Chanyeol’s face, not even giving the latter the occasion to rejoice because the next thing he felt was a warm breath getting dangerously close to his lips, burning his skin up and causing him to look down at Baekhyun again, the latter’s eyes finally sparkling like the only source of light in this cramped and dark space.

 

He hated this, he hated how Baekhyun could turn everything into a simply game for his own amusement, dragging Chanyeol into it even if he couldn’t even confidently say that he was never willing to be part of it. Footsteps were nearing them and soon, the light in the closet diminished, as if someone was standing right in front of the door, but Chanyeol couldn’t even pay attention to it when he couldn’t see anything but could _feel_ Baekhyun’s lips a breath away from his. He could feel them, he could breath him in, he could almost feel their tender and addicting texture brushing against his own lips but he could _only_ feel them because Baekhyun did nothing to actually press his mouth against his. He simply stayed there, sharing his breath with Chanyeol who could feel every single inch of his being trying to push him forward, the flames in his chest dancing wildly, reaching towards the sparks that lighted up Baekhyun’s hooded eyes. He did nothing, he stood still, tempting, waiting for Chanyeol to take the next step, waiting for him to lose this vicious game and acting every little bit of the winner he already knew he was.

 

And Chanyeol had always lost against Baekhyun. Always, in every silly and reckless game they had played, so he finally yielded to his soul and his body’s will and erased the last inch separating him from what he would always crave. He felt himself go slack as his lips finally found their owner, cushioned by the victorious smile that Chanyeol had felt Baekhyun’s lips curl into before they grew soft again under his own pair. He breathed in through his nose, heartbeat still echoing in his head and in his chest, even up until the tip of the fingers tightly gripping his gun, but he couldn’t focus on anything else but the taste of Baekhyun’s lips, the sensation of their couplets molding together like two halves of a whole enhanced by the fact that Chanyeol couldn’t see anything and simply felt Baekhyun and listened to their surroundings. There was no sound for a few seconds before Chanyeol heard a sigh right in front of the door and then footsteps retreating away from them.

 

It was difficult to pay attention to anything but the taste of Baekhyun’s lower lip as he pulled it into his mouth, biting, sucking, and worshipping it like it was the only thing Chanyeol wanted to keep doing for the rest of his life. He felt Baekhyun’s breath tickle his skin again as the other relaxed against Chanyeol, growing pliant and so soft against him, causing him to feel his heart twitch a little in pain at the fact that he couldn’t hold him, his hands both holding onto something else. It wasn’t the case for Baekhyun, however, and when Chanyeol felt his warm fingers cascading over his jaw and his neck, it was the last straw before his hand seemed to grow a mind of its own and shot up to rest on Baekhyun’s hip even if the gun was still on the way, the cold steel pressed against the other’s clothed skin. Baekhyun didn’t seem to mind, however, and Chanyeol heard him let out a soft, pleased sound that echoed in the cramped space of the closet and flowed into Chanyeol’s head, like gasoline that fueled the fire in the pit of his stomach.

 

However, it might have been too loud and when Chanyeol heard footsteps rapidly approaching them again, he finally broke the kiss and looked at the still closed door, inwardly cursing at Baekhyun and at himself for once again having yielded to the other so easily. He tensed up, raising his armed hand when a shadow appeared under the door again, heartbeat echoing in his head before it was abruptly cut off and drowned out by a voice coming from outside.

 

"What are you doing?" another unfamiliar voice said and the shadow under the door shifted a bit, probably turning to face the new male voice.

 

"I think I heard something around here," the closest voice replied and Chanyeol couldn’t help but glare down at Baekhyun, ticked off further by the wide smile he could still discern on his face.

 

"There’s no one around here," someone snorted, nearing them as well and Chanyeol froze, feeling Baekhyun tense up against him as well. "This house has been empty for two fucking weeks but the asshole still makes us keep guard on it."

 

"You’re right," the first man sighed. "I just woke up, I guess I just imagined it."

 

They really should have checked all the rooms earlier, it made sense that the guard could only be sleeping but it hadn’t even crossed Chanyeol’s mind and if the guy had just woken up, it could only mean that he was a heavy sleeper anyway, Baekhyun had spent quite some time rummaging upstairs.

 

"You’d get a bullet in your head if the boss knew you were sleeping."

 

"You said it yourself, this place is empty," the man defended himself and Chanyeol heard the characteristic sound of a gun being secured again, followed by muffled sounds of fabric brushing against fabric. He was probably putting his weapon away. "And there’s no one to watch us. The psycho’s certainly not there."

 

"Be careful, he’s crazy enough to listen to us from where he is. I don’t trust this place," the other said and it was obvious from his tone that he was joking, the two men suddenly laughing a bit. It was also obvious that they both didn’t like Minseok at all.

 

"Here to take over the shift?" the first voice asked and judging by the lack of response, the other must have simply nodded. "Come on then, I can’t wait to go home and sleep on an actual bed," he continued, his voice growing quieter as footsteps resonated again, indicating them that the two men were probably leaving.

 

Silence fell over them again but Chanyeol stayed still for a few more seconds, just to make sure that the two men would be far enough not to hear them again. Baekhyun seemed to be more impatient however and he moved away from Chanyeol, the latter feeling slightly cheated when he noticed that Baekhyun could actually move and didn’t even have to press himself against him so much. He said nothing, however, following the other as he slowly and quietly opened the door, glancing outside once before motioning at Chanyeol to follow him out.

 

The sudden switch from the darkest of places to a hallway full of sunlight momentarily blinded him but Baekhyun didn’t seem too bothered as he directly headed towards the exit only a few steps away from them. Chanyeol glanced over his shoulder but followed him, getting out and closing the door as quietly as possible behind him before Baekhyun urged him to be quicker with a motion of his hand, causing Chanyeol to frown, but he still did as told and without losing any other second, they immediately dashed towards the woods after making sure that there was no one to see them outside.

 

They stayed silent through it all, continuously glancing over their shoulders to check if someone was following them but it wasn’t likely when the two men they had encountered in the house seemed like the type to slack off their job when there was no one to watch them, which was a relief for them since Baekhyun had seemed decided to attract trouble right into their face. At least nothing had happened and Chanyeol could relax a bit once the trees could hide their bodies, his grip on the case and the gun still tight, however.

 

He could completely rid himself of the tension only once they reached the car and silently threw the case and Baekhyun’s backpack on the backseat after getting inside, both of them releasing a long and relieved breath. It didn’t last, however, and as soon as his heartbeat had slowed down to a normal pace, Chanyeol’s sharp gaze found Baekhyun’s wide and seemingly innocent one.

 

"What the hell were you thinking?" he hissed, unable to keep the anger out of his voice even if he had still faltered a bit at the expression of innocence Baekhyun had given him.

 

"What?" the other raised an eyebrow, however, and all the fake innocence was suddenly gone, replaced by amusement in his eyes and a wide grin. "I didn’t do anything."

 

"It was already dangerous enough and you decided to fucking kiss me while we were hiding in a damn closet," he accused the other as he turned the engine on and started driving off without losing any more time.

 

"I didn’t kiss you, Chanyeol," Baekhyun simply shrugged, however, and Chanyeol had to keep his eyes on the road again but he could still feel the amusement and the confidence oozing off the other. It was irritating but what was even more irritating was the way Baekhyun looked so handsome with that cheeky grin on. "I was just standing there, innocently, trying to be as quiet and still as possible and you’re the one who actually kissed me, in case you couldn’t notice back there."

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath in, trying to keep the irritation at bay because the other was ultimately right. He hadn’t actually kissed Chanyeol, he had only lured the latter into doing so by keeping his lips so close and available and Chanyeol had been the one to start the kiss, unable to resist.

 

"And that moan, you did it on purpose, didn’t you?" he asked instead of saying anything else, narrowed eyes catching the way Baekhyun’s smile widened a bit. It was enough for him to know that he was right.

 

"Of course not." He saw Baekhyun shaking his head from the corner of his eye, still with that same infuriating smile, but tried his best to focus in front of him, wanting to get them back home as soon as possible. "I never have to simulate anything when I’m with you. It was a natural reaction to an amazing kiss. You’re great and I can’t control my body when it’s happy, can I?"

 

Silence fell over them for a few seconds before Chanyeol sighed, knowing that there was no way for him to win this argument when he had lost it the second Baekhyun had decided to turn all of this into a game.

 

"You’re unbelievable."

 

"Oh, but I’m real," was Baekhyun’s reply, his amusement singing into Chanyeol’s ears like a gentle song he was so used to he knew he had to listen to it at least once a day. "I’m not one of those dreams you probably have every night. I’m real, don’t worry you can believe in me. The kiss felt pretty real, didn’t it?"

 

Speechless by the way Baekhyun could be so shameless even if he knew he should be used to it by now, Chanyeol turned his head to glance at him quickly, catching the way Baekhyun was looking at him with insistence, eyes widened in mock innocence despite the swirls of mirth and amusement in them. His smile widened when he caught Chanyeol’s gaze and out of nowhere, he batted his eyelashes irritatingly, leaning a little closer to Chanyeol who couldn’t help but burst into a sudden fit of laughter at the other’s antics.

 

Baekhyun didn’t take long to let his voice twirl in the air alongside Chanyeol’s, little notes of happiness dancing together between them as Chanyeol shook his head in endearment. It was a mystery, the way Baekhyun could push him into the most dangerous situation one second only to make him feel like the happiest man on earth the next one. 

 

Chanyeol didn’t mind anymore, though, he didn’t try understanding anything or changing anything because there wasn’t really anything bothering him when he knew he had the same exact effect on Baekhyun. He had stopped fighting it a long time ago and he only focused on feeling it, enjoying it as much as possible, knowing that he wouldn’t trade this for anything else in the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naturally, after having had such a troublesome start of the day, Chanyeol would have expected Baekhyun to grant him the occasion to spend the rest of it while resting, watching television, or just training to vent off the tension accumulated in his veins after what he had pulled in Kyungsoo’s house but of course, Chanyeol had come to be disappointed in himself. He should have learned that not a single day spent with Baekhyun would be calm and adventure-less but he still had hoped for it to be the case since as soon as they had reached their little house far away from anything else safely, Baekhyun had simply pulled him to lay down on the couch for a short nap. 

 

They had needed the rest after waking up in the wee hours of the morning and almost having messed up everything they had been working on for two weeks because of Baekhyun’s reckless tendencies to turn everything into something that would entertain him and allow him to torture Chanyeol at the same time. It had been nice, Chanyeol had been able to get a bit of sleep, cocooned by the warmth of Baekhyun’s embrace as the other hadn’t moved even once after laying down, his head resting against Chanyeol’s chest to listen to the gentle and soothing lullaby that the latter’s heart sang for no one but him. It had been so comfortable and waking up to Baekhyun’s lips peppering gentle kisses along his neck had felt heavenly, the sensation leading Chanyeol to not letting him get up for close to half an hour and simply holding him in his arms to listen to all the different lilts and edges Baekhyun’s voice took as he spoke to him, telling him stories, trivial things, recounting memories from their childhood, and speaking of things that didn’t even make sense just because he knew Chanyeol liked the sound of his voice.

 

The rest of the day had been rather uneventful as well, they had spoken of the next steps they would take regarding Minseok but they hadn’t gotten into it in details either, focusing on simply spending time with each other. They had watched a few movies and Baekhyun had dragged him into another fight but this time, it hadn’t been serious nor had there been a bet at stake, just something Baekhyun had come up with for the sake of winning against Chanyeol. That hadn’t happened, however, and as soon as Chanyeol had won, he had imposed a recompense on Baekhyun, asking him to cook dinner since usually, Baekhyun never got near the kitchen or even if he did, it was simply to drape himself over Chanyeol’s back and watch him cook, slipping a few crude comment here and there without really bothering Chanyeol who had grown used to it.

 

The only other major event of the day was the whole pack of eggs that Baekhyun had broken, resulting in Chanyeol half scolding him and half mocking him before taking things over once it had been obvious that asking Baekhyun to cook would always be a huge mistake.

 

It had been taken care of, however, and they had managed to eat a proper meal, Chanyeol allowing himself to rest more afterwards by once again draping his whole length over the couch and deciding not to move at all until Baekhyun would drag him to bed. The latter had been rather calm after dinner, leaving Chanyeol on his own and disappearing upstairs to do whatever kept his whole attention away from Chanyeol who, despite liking the silence for a few minutes, was now growing bored and couldn’t help but wonder what had snatched Baekhyun’s attention away from him.

 

However, before he even had the occasion to push himself to go find the other and check, he heard muffled footsteps descending down the stairs and he couldn’t deny that the sound allowed him to relax the slightest. He didn’t like not having Baekhyun right under his eyes nowadays.

 

"Where have you been?" he asked, gaze still focused on whatever cheesy drama was playing on the screen.

 

"Stop being an old couch potato and get dressed. We’re leaving," was the only reply Baekhyun gave him and Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, finally trailing his eyes away from the television to look at Baekhyun, a protest forming on his lips.

 

However, as soon as his gaze landed on the other, he felt words dying on his lips before they were even muttered and his breath hitched at the sight that greeted him.

 

It had been close to an hour since Baekhyun had disappeared upstairs and now, Chanyeol could see what the other had exactly been doing in the room while he had been cluelessly waiting for him back here. The first thing he noticed was that Baekhyun’s eyes were beautiful. That was a thought that crossed his mind at least thrice a day but now, those beautiful and expressive droopy eyes were brought up even more, lined in black and sparkling more than usual as if Chanyeol’s reaction had fed their lights. The soft and inky locks Chanyeol usually loved to run his hand through were parted in the middle, a small patch of his forehead bared but the sides still covered with the few strands that fell over each side so naturally, as if Baekhyun had probably not spent minutes trying to get this result. His hair looked velvety but a little damp at the same time, almost shining as if the stars in Baekhyun’s eyes were sparkling right into the few strands that brushed against his eyelashes. It was so different from the usual floppy way Baekhyun let his hair rest on top of his head and it gave him a slightly more mature look when coupled with the dark lines around his eyes. Chanyeol’s own surprised eyes traveled down a little, lingering on the naturally pinkish tint of Baekhyun’s lips and the unblemished skin of his cheeks and chin before trailing down his neck and directly landing on his alluring collarbones that looked nothing less than part of a sculpture an artist had spent hours carving so beautifully. 

 

The first few buttons of his shirt were left undone, baring a bit of his chest as well and it wasn’t too obvious like that but Chanyeol knew that under the clean and soft-looking fabric of his shirt, Baekhyun’s body was lean, sculpted but not too overdone. It couldn’t be seen through his shirt, however, as the piece of clothing looked a bit too big on him but it was obviously a wanted effect since with a small movement, it wouldn’t be difficult for the opened collar to slide bit to the side and reveal the bare skin of Baekhyun’s shoulder. Baekhyun worked the checkered shirt perfectly, the black and white colors twisted a bit by small details one wouldn’t be able to see unless they stood directly in front of Baekhyun as there seemed to be blue dots in the space separating each of the tiny squares that were also filled with a barely visible red line, all these colors unexpectedly meshing together perfectly. The hem of his shirt was tucked into his jeans on the front, the back of it left to flow freely to enhance the curve of Baekhyun’s hips, the black fabric of his skinny jeans hugging his thighs and his curves perfectly, not leaving anything to the imagination.

 

Nowadays, Baekhyun looked nothing but gentle, fragile, and innocent in Chanyeol’s eyes, the aura of sadness he seemed to be locked in following him around no matter what he did, whether he curled into Chanyeol’s arms for comfort or dragged him into a playful fight but tonight, nothing of that side of Baekhyun was left. On the contrary, he looked nothing less than the human embodiment of a sin Chanyeol was willing to burn in hell for, his sharp features crafted by the claws of the most cunning and devilish creatures, and the lights in his eyes turning to wild and thirsty flames instead of gentle and enchanting stars. He simply looked breathtaking, Chanyeol’s heart hammering in his chest, skipping a beat or two from time to time as he momentarily forgot how to properly function, pulled in by the alluringly lethal gleam in Baekhyun’s eyes. He was so mesmerizing, an otherworldly creature whose beauty could rival the most sought after flowers of the world, the most beautiful sight Chanyeol had ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes upon, an ethereal picture painted by the finest artists, the perfect image of one of the wonders of the world standing right at the foot of a high and frightening cliff that Chanyeol would never hesitate to fling himself down from to reach. His soft-looking lips were curved into a confident and dashing smile as he basked under the attention Chanyeol was giving him, adding to the look of a predator ready to pounce on an oblivious prey that would probably gladly let itself be devoured and take pleasure from every single second of it.

 

It took Chanyeol a few seconds to be able to properly think again and once he did, he could ignore everything going through his head to finally register what Baekhyun had just said.

 

"We’re leaving," he repeated blankly, unable to look away from Baekhyun’s collarbones for a few seconds until he registered his own words as well and suddenly frowned in disapproval, gaze boring into Baekhyun’s. "Where are we going? And most importantly, where do you think _you’re_ going dressed like that?"

 

He couldn’t hide the notes of disapproval in his voice, laced together with a small lilt of possessiveness as the mere thought of Baekhyun going out of this house this way and exposing this sinfully attractive sight to anyone other than him was enough for his chest to tighten and the small, hideously green monster deep inside of him to groan, awakened from a deep and undisturbed slumber.

 

" _We_ are leaving," Baekhyun reminded him, crossing his arms across his chest and causing his shirt to be tugged down a little bit to reveal even more skin. Chanyeol felt himself slipping into a flame but Baekhyun spoke again, instantly pulling him out of it by pouring a bucket of iced water all over him with his amused words. "No need to turn into a possessive predator, I’m not leaving you all alone and defenseless here, don’t worry, _babe,_ " he continued, stressing on his last word and drawing Chanyeol’s gaze to his lips, a shiver running down his spine as he watched Baekhyun’s two soft couplets curl more than necessary to form that single word.

 

He couldn’t even focus on the mockery hidden behind those words.

 

"Where the hell are we going? We’re not going anywhere," he instantly protested, sitting up at once and frowning at Baekhyun who simply rolled his eyes. He was so beautiful and it was distracting Chanyeol too much, causing his voice to go softer than he’d like to as he was trying to fight for something there. Mostly for his sanity.

 

"We talked about it yesterday. We’re going to contact Nam Joohyuk," Baekhyun explained, stepping closer to Chanyeol whose first instinct was to recoil back against the backrest of the couch. The closer Baekhyun would be to him, the easier it would be for him to draw Chanyeol into acceptance with his well-chosen words and his dazzling smile. Baekhyun seemed to know that too and his smile turned smug, a soft, husky chuckle escaping his lips and tickling Chanyeol’s heart. "Don’t be scared, I won’t bite unless you ask me to. Though, I know you don’t mind bite marks so i guess I don’t have to wait for you to ask, actually."

 

"We don’t have to get out of here to contact him, do we," Chanyeol grumbled under his breath, ignoring the seductive edge Baekhyun’s voice suddenly took. He knew this trick too well.

 

"Oh, but we do," Baekhyun shrugged and Chanyeol forced himself to look at his face and not at his fair, sculpted, and delicious-looking collarbones. He could still feel his heart going on a rampage against his ribcage and Baekhyun was so unhealthy for him at this point but he couldn’t bring himself to actually look away from him. "He frequents this nightclub every Friday night, it will be much easier for us to find him there instead of trying to contact him through the phone or anything else."

 

"We’re going to a _nightclub?!"_ Chanyeol screeched, finally snapping out of it when he realized that Baekhyun was once again trying to throw them right into the wolf’s den. "Are you crazy? Do you really think we have the luxury of going to a fucking nightclub right now? We’ll be shot as soon as we step into it!"

 

"We won’t be," Baekhyun sighed, amusement still dancing in his eyes along with those flames Chanyeol tried not to look at. "No one knows me and few people know what you actually look like too. In the nightclub we’ll be going to, at least."

 

"How is this nightclub different than the other ones?" Chanyeol snorted, completely unamused. 

 

"It’s a nightclub out of Cobra’s territory, it’s totally safe," Baekhyun argued.

 

"If it’s out of Cobra’s territory why the hell would that Joohyuk guy be there?"

 

"He goes there _because_ it’s out of Cobra’s territory. I told you he didn’t have great ties with Cobra nowadays."

 

"No," was Chanyeol’s final answer and he dragged his eyes away from Baekhyun, forcing himself to look at the screen instead. 

 

"We can just blend in with everyone else and then pull him aside for a nice little chat!" Baekhyun insisted and Chanyeol could hear him stepping closer but he ignored him, or did his best to ignore him at least, until Baekhyun suddenly slid onto his lap, as quietly and swiftly as a stray black cat dancing around the shadows of dirty back alleys.

 

"No," he said through gritted teeth, turning his head away from Baekhyun.

 

He might be right. He probably was right just like he always was but this would be dangerous. They weren’t going to find themselves in a house far form everything else with the potential of meeting one or two guards like this morning. This was completely different, they would be in a nightclub, surrounded by people who could either rat them out to Minseok or catch them off guard with a sudden attack after recognizing them. No matter how Chanyeol looked at it, it was stupid. 

 

Moreover, there was _no way_ he’d allow Baekhyun to get out of this house looking like that when he had him all to himself for close to a month now. Just thinking about letting Baekhyun wander in a crowd full of horny and drunk people was enough for his fingers to twitch, unconsciously looking for a gun to grab and use.

 

However, Baekhyun seemed determined and when Chanyeol felt him getting closer to his face, his sweet and addictive scent seeping into his breath, Chanyeol found it necessary to repeat his answer, just to remind himself of it.

 

"No, Baekhyun."

 

"That’s our only chance, Chanyeol," the other said, voice lower than necessary as his arms sneaked around Chanyeol’s neck and the tip of his nose trailed over his jawline, his breath sending a storm of shivers down his spine. His hands unconsciously found their way to grip the other’s waist, nails digging into his clothed skin, and when gentle fingers grabbed a hold of his chin to turn his head towards Baekhyun, Chanyeol felt the resolve in him starting to crack a little. "Please."

 

His gaze finally met Baekhyun’s dark one, his droopy eyes looking into Chanyeol’s so beautifully, the stars sparkling just for him, the flames offering him a gentle and alluring private show, and the swirls of mirth in his dark orbs wrapping all around Chanyeol and caressing his soul.

 

He sighed softly and as soon as that soft puff of air left his lips, the rest of his breath was stollen away when Baekhyun’s soft lips were pressed against his, the kiss offered to him no doubt being one filled with victory and amusement from Baekhyun.

 

Chanyeol was weak. He was so weak against Baekhyun, always losing, always letting the other win every single one of his games, but never once complaining because losing didn’t matter if it meant Baekhyun would smile at him so brightly and happily. That didn’t change the fact that he was weak, a lost case, so easy to convince for Baekhyun who probably profited of that fact too much, using it to his advantage, without nurturing the purpose of hurting Chanyeol but still using his weaknesses against him nonetheless.

 

Chanyeol was so damn weak and that thought never left his head even as Baekhyun pulled away from him and grabbed his hand to drag him upstairs and personally get Chanyeol ready for their night out since the latter was too busy grumbling and almost sulking like a silly child to do it himself. Chanyeol was so weak against Baekhyun and as they left the house later on, he kept inwardly cursing himself, continuously throwing Baekhyun nasty and disapproving glares as he drove them to wherever Baekhyun wanted them to go, once again following the other’s directions. He was way too weak and he hated it but he couldn’t do anything about it when Baekhyun made sure to steal his breath away with yet another kiss as soon as he had turned the engine off, parked down the block near the nightclub he was probably going to regret ever stepping into.

 

He was so stupidly weak and Baekhyun enjoyed that fact too much, his hand holding onto Chanyeol’s tightly with that dashing yet infuriating smile still hung on his lips as he pulled the taller towards the entrance. He had been right, this neighborhood was far away and outside the limits of Cobra’s territory, Chanyeol had never even stepped foot into it but he knew that it belonged to one of Venom’s rivals which he knew also meant that it belonged to a rival gang of Cobra’s as well. It could mean that they were safe since no one outside of Cobra probably knew what Baekhyun looked like and Chanyeol rarely showed his face in public either but if someone was to recognize him, it could also go really wrong. He was technically on an enemy’s territory but Baekhyun was confident in himself so Chanyeol supposed that if all of his plans had worked until today, there was no reason for him to be too wary of this one either. Even if most of Baekhyun’s plans had been on the verge of going terribly wrong. 

 

He took a deep breath in, eyes raking over his surroundings. The street was rather empty which could be surprising but not really considering the fact that if someone from Cobra would venture into enemy territory, it wouldn’t happen to be an overly popular club. However, the closer they got to the the nightclub, the louder the few voices he could hear were and soon, his gaze caught on the long line waiting at the entrance, a lone bouncer intimidatingly guarding the door and checking people’s IDs before letting them in.

 

Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun, finally breaking his long silence to complain about the situation with a quiet voice that still carried notes of disapproval to Baekhyun’s ears. Even if the latter would ignore them.

 

"Is this really necessary, Baekhyun?" 

 

The other sighed, giving Chanyeol a look that showed the latter he had been expecting to hear this question for a while now.

 

"Yes, it is absolutely necessary, _Chanyeol,_ " he replied, voice lost somewhere between amusement and irritation. "We have to get in touch with the guy if we want to make some progress. You know it."

 

"I know that," he huffed because Baekhyun was right, he knew he was right but Chanyeol didn’t like this situation at all. "Couldn’t we have just cornered him while he was on his way home or something?"

 

"That’s boring," was the only reply Baekhyun gave him, accompanied by a soft chuckle.

 

Of course, things always had to be a game for Baekhyun. 

 

"There’s plenty of amusing things to do back at home."

 

Baekhyun actually rolled his eyes at him this time and Chanyeol frowned, aware that he was only being petty but not even able to stop himself. If Baekhyun had the right to drag him into trouble, then Chanyeol had the right to make every second of it a living hell from him. Even if Baekhyun seemed to be more amused by it than anything else.

 

"Don’t be a killjoy," Baekhyun’s sultry, amused voice caressed his ears, his dark-lined eyes catching Chanyeol’s and making everything a tiny little bit better, which wasn’t a good thing because Chanyeol was so damn weak. "Moreover, he’ll be mostly defenseless and out of his mind here so it’s going to be easier."

 

"What if we get recognized by someone?"

 

"Then we run," Baekhyun shrugged, eyes glinting playfully into Chanyeol’s. "There’s no victory without risk."

 

That was such a shitty plan, Chanyeol thought bitterly while his shoulders dropped. Once again, he’d have to make sure Baekhyun wouldn’t get himself into too much danger.

 

"And how do you plan to get in? Through the backdoor?" he asked with a small snort.

 

"We can’t use backdoors everywhere, this isn’t an empty house," Baekhyun snorted right back at him before his smile widened. "We’ll walk in right through the front door."

 

And with that, Chanyeol felt Baekhyun tugging on his hand harder as he dragged him towards the entrance, steps slow and casual but his grip tight around Chanyeol’s fingers. The latter widened his eyes a bit but before he could even have the occasion to ask Baekhyun if he had lost his mind, they suddenly found themselves closer to the bouncer whose eyes landed on him, trailing down his body in a standard, emotionless motion to observe him. The guy was rather tall and seemed to have a permanent frown etched on his face, his short hair a mess, and the black suit he was wearing leaving nothing to the imagination concerning the muscles barely hidden under the fabric. He looked intimidating enough but that didn’t particularly affect Chanyeol who simply glanced at Baekhyun as the other stood right in front of the bouncer, a few complaints coming from the people who had probably been lined up in front of the door for a while.

 

He had that small, seductive smirk etched on his lips as he looked up at the man, features dusted with an odd combination between innocence and sultriness that Chanyeol had never seen anyone work as well as he did. He caught the bouncer’s eyes dropping to the curve of Baekhyun’s lips and all at once, he felt the beast hidden deep in the pit of his stomach awakening again, its green and ferocious eyes glaring right back at the man as he pulled Baekhyun closer to him.

 

"Hey, looking good as usual," came Baekhyun’s gently, alluring voice next to him, each of his words laced with appraisal and an odd tone of mischief. Chanyeol saw the bouncer’s eyebrows twitch and he tightened his grip around Baekhyun’s fingers, forcing himself to be quiet so Baekhyun could work his wicked magic. "We have somewhere to go right after here and I fear we might be late if we wait to get in too long. You wouldn’t mind letting us in now, would you?"

 

Chanyeol’s gaze bounced back to the man and when he saw him glancing over his shoulder, Chanyeol already knew Baekhyun had won this insignificant battle.

 

The man nodded once before stepping aside to let them in, his eyes lingering on Baekhyun a second too long as Chanyeol pulled him inside without waiting, his own eyes glaring daggers into the bouncer’s whole being. Baekhyun threw the man a last smile and Chanyeol felt the anger that had been simmering in his stomach for a while now grow a bit more agitated, not dimming down even when they stepped into the club and walked through the crowded hallway, the loud bass echoing between the walls and reverberating in his chest.

 

"Was _that_ necessary?" he hissed into Baekhyun’s ear, leaning close enough to make sure that the other would hear him above the loud music blasted through the whole club.

 

"It got us in without any trouble so looks like it was," was the amused reply Baekhyun gave him and once again, he was right. That only irritated Chanyeol further and he could already feel that this night was going to be one of the worsts of his life. "You’re going to break my fingers," Baekhyun added afterwards, the disapproval in his eyes obviously faked.

 

Chanyeol finally noticed that he was squeezing his hand more than necessary and loosened his hold a little, gaze still boring into Baekhyun’s with disapproval and the sizzling flames in his stomach only fueled by the way Baekhyun seemed to be thoroughly enjoying this situation.

 

"Did you know him?" he asked as they weaved their way into the main room of the club, the music much louder here and the crowd denser.

 

"I’ve been here once or twice before, he recognized me. I made sure he’d recognize me if I were to ever come back, he’s really easy to fool."

 

It did seem to actually be a popular club, the spacious dance floor filled with people dancing, moving their bodies to the beat of the music blasted through the whole room by the DJ Chanyeol could see on an elevated corner of the room. The night was still young but most of them already seemed drunk out of their minds, only a few seats available on the bar lined along the back of the room where at least three bartenders worked to cater to everyone who asked for a drink. The lights were dim but colorful, hues of red and dark blues dancing along to the music around the room, shining into the patrons’ face and highlighting their drunken features but not enough for him to actually see what anyone looked like. The only thing he was sure about was that every single person in this room seemed to be fitting in just well and Chanyeol was thankful that Baekhyun had taken it upon himself to force him to wear decent clothes that allowed him to blend it nicely. All of them were dressed in expensive and revealing clothes as they swarmed around, letting the music and the alcohol dictate their actions as most of them were willingly cramped against each other, sweaty bodies brushing, rubbing, and groping each other.

 

It wasn’t difficult to conclude that alcohol wasn’t the only substance flowing through their veins and as Chanyeol glanced to his side, he was unwillingly met with a couple making out against the wall, as if they hadn’t been able to wait long enough to get themselves out of the door to devour each other’s soul through a sloppy and rather disturbing kiss. His gaze trailed behind them, to the left and he saw a few booths placed away from the dance floor and the bar, a few private spots that were probably accessed only by more expensive customers. It wasn’t much, just dark, velvety and comfortable-looking seats surrounding tables whose size varied depending on each booth, all of them separated by partitions that didn’t allow you to see what was happing in the neighboring booths. He could discern from here white powder dusted over the dark surface of one of these tables, no doubt the remnants of what the middle-aged man, who was surrounded by beautiful ladies who barely looked legal enough to even step foot inside this place, had not been able to get into his system.

 

There was a door hidden behind the farthest booth and when Chanyeol looked up, it was obvious that it led to a staircase linked to the second floor where more private rooms were probably awaiting special customers for special deals. It was high and it would probably be easy to get a whole view of the dance floor and the bar from up there if you leaned on the railings since it was an open floor that simply looked like a balcony from where Chanyeol was. He knew better, though, and he slid his gaze around a bit more, spotting the door near the bar that was marked with a ‘staff only’ sign and that probably led to the back of the club. There was another emergency exit on a corner of the room but besides that, it was a rather cramped and full place.

 

The prospect of Baekhyun having been here on his own before sent prickles of discomfort down his spine and he forced himself to keep the burning possessiveness he could still feel in his stomach away from his features.

 

"Let’s go to the bar," he said to Baekhyun who nodded before letting Chanyeol lead him there.

 

It was difficult to weave a path through the crowd but Chanyeol made sure to hold Baekhyun’s hand tightly in his in order not to lose him somewhere along the way, ignoring the wandering hands trying to reach for him and glaring at whoever tried even laying a single finger on _his_ lover. He might have shoved a few people away too forcefully but everyone seemed to drunk to mind and it at least allowed him to get themselves to the bar safely so Chanyeol didn’t even feel an ounce of remorse. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself, anyway, not when he would always nurture the wild instinct of simply protecting Baekhyun from anything and everything, no matter how insignificant the danger might seem.

 

There were two high stools conveniently available for them at the counter and he led Baekhyun to one of them, waiting for him to sit down properly before settling on the stool next to him and finally letting out a deep breath. They were at least far away from anyone else, a lone woman sitting on Chanyeol’s right, his left occupied by Baekhyun who had an empty stool next to him as well. He turned his back to the woman to face Baekhyun instead, gaze finding the other’s curious and still highly amused one. The red lights found Baekhyun for a second, highlighting his features, his hair drawing a few shadows that descended down to the apple of his cheeks, his jawline sharp and complimented by the color. It somehow suited Baekhyun, the red lights giving him a sharp look, sparkling in his eyes like flames that probably could consume Chanyeol as soon as he’d reach for them, and giving him a predatory look that was merely enhanced by the light touches of makeup Baekhyun had around his eyes.

 

He simply looked mesmerizing, different than usual, but beautiful all the same and Chanyeol felt his chest tightening in pride as the thought that this otherworldly and dashing creature belonged to no one else but him. Everyone wasn’t aware of that, however, so he made sure to pull Baekhyun’s stool closer to his by hooking his feet on its circular footrest. Baekhyun’s pleased smile widened a little and the red light was gone from his face but he looked nothing less than the sinful devil Chanyeol knew he was and that was confirmed when he leaned even closer to Chanyeol to speak to him over the loud music.

 

"No need to be so possessive and territorial, Chanyeol-ah," were his first words and Chanyeol knew for sure that when he felt his lips grazing his ear the slightest, it was on purpose.

 

"I can’t help it when you look like that," Chanyeol replied, not even bothering to deny the way he felt. It was probably obvious anyway, just like the fact that Baekhyun enjoyed it too much was.

 

"And how do I look?" the other asked, raising an eyebrow and drowning his gaze into Chanyeol’s.

 

Chanyeol sighed, trailing his gaze over Baekhyun’s features for the umpteenth time that night.

 

"Like the reason behind the murder I will probably commit by the end of the night."

 

Baekhyun instantly burst into laughter at his words and the music was way too loud but Chanyeol was still able to pick up the melodious notes of the other’s gentle laughter, Baekhyun’s features loosing that sly amusement to leave way for genuine joy. His eyes scrunched into small crescent shapes and Chanyeol felt himself lost in the moonbeams they hid, his chest bubbling with happiness as he couldn’t help but be infected by Baekhyun’s laughter, the tension and the storm of negative feelings diminishing a bit.

 

"Why commit the murder of unworthy people? I don’t even see anyone else but you in this room. I don’t want to see anyone else but you," Baekhyun finally said a few seconds later when he had calmed down a bit. Chanyeol felt his chest warming up with those words and he bit his lower lip to conceal the grin that threatened to stretch all over his face. He was so damn weak. Baekhyun leaned closer to him again, lips curling into that alluring smile Chanyeol had fallen in love with a long time ago. "But I won’t stop you. I do like this possessive and adorably side of you."

 

"I’m sure I won’t look as adorable when squeezing the life out of that man behind you," Chanyeol snorted, glaring right into said man’s soul.

 

He was dancing a few steps away from them and Chanyeol had noticed him as soon as they had settled on the bar but he seemed not to be able to take the hint. However, as soon as his gaze met Chanyeol’s, he scrambled away, probably scared. Chanyeol felt satisfaction simmering in him.

 

"What man? I only see this silly and handsome possessive man," Baekhyun replied, not looking away from him even once as he rested a hand on Chanyeol’s thigh, the warmth of his fingers seeping into the latter’s skin through the fabric of his jeans.

 

That was the last straw and Chanyeol couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle at the other’s antics, shaking his head a bit before turning to the bartender who was busy cleaning a few glasses near them. He called for his attention, ordering two glasses of Whiskey that the man poured them in a few seconds, putting them in front of him with a slight thud. He slid one of them towards Baekhyun, taking the other for himself and bringing it up to his lips for a tiny sip as his gaze traveled over his surroundings once again.

 

No one had tried disturbing them for now which meant that no one had recognized them and the only eyes Chanyeol managed to catch on them from time to time were only filled with lust or other sly feelings he knew were present in the eyes of almost every occupant of this club anyway. It was a relief and the small sip of alcohol helped him relax the slightest bit as well.

 

"I thought we were here for business," Baekhyun said after a few seconds, his fingers wrapped around the glass that he hadn’t drunk from yet.

 

Chanyeol shrugged, letting the glass rest on the shiny surface of the counter again, gaze falling on the golden colored beverage.

 

"Jongin used to tell me that you should always take a drink first when you go into a club or a bar for business," he explained, feeling Baekhyun’s attentive gaze on him and raising his eyes to meet it. The mention of Jongin was like a small but agonizing pinch to his heart but it was less painful than before, it didn’t make him want to kill someone or hide somewhere and never see the light of the day again. He was getting better. They were getting better.

 

He felt Baekhyun’s fingers squeeze his thigh in silent support and it sent a jolt of warmth through his whole body, the fact that Baekhyun had been able to know that he needed the comfort even if they were surrounded by too many people and the music was too loud for them to even properly hear each other.

 

"He was right then, he taught you well," Baekhyun smiled gently.

 

"He said it helped showing everyone that you’d be happy to be there just for a drink as well and that it also made you look relaxed, helped you blend into the crowd and look inoffensive or something like that," he shrugged, returning the other’s smile with one of his own.

 

However, Baekhyun’s smile turned playful once again and Chanyeol knew that whatever he was going to say would either irritate him or make him laugh but the other seemed to take a liking into making him wait since he took a small sip of his drink as well before speaking.

 

"It looks like you’re getting into mind games," the other finally said, an amused glint in his eyes.

 

"I guess I spend too much time with you. It looks like you’re rubbing off on me," Chanyeol snorted softly, words tainted with a tiny note of accusation that he couldn’t keep from escaping him.

 

The beginning of their relationship had mostly been a string of mind games Baekhyun had made him take part in, after all, and even now, Chanyeol knew that it would be so easy for Baekhyun to do the same thing, distract him, use him, or manipulate him. He was weak and Baekhyun was really good at dragging people into games he was sure of winning.

 

However, Baekhyun didn’t seem offended by his words at all and he simply leaned closer to Chanyeol again, curving his lips into a tender and familiar smile, the one that was as light as a butterfly against Chanyeol’s lips whenever they kissed, the one that felt like a warm blanket in a cold winter night and that rivaled the diamonds hung in the sky every night.

 

"You know I love you, right?" Baekhyun muttered into his ear, lips bushing against his skin the slightest but not with the intend of seducing. It was almost a natural thing for Baekhyun to touch him, be close to him, wrap himself all around Chanyeol at night and never let go of him because as much as Chanyeol couldn’t survive at night without light, Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to shine so bright if Chanyeol wasn’t there to live off that light.

 

And Chanyeol knew. He knew it. It was the only thing he was sure of, the only thing he would never ever doubt in this twisted and cruel life. It was the only thing he wouldn’t ever question because how could he when Baekhyun always muttered those words as if he was putting his whole soul into them? He could never ever doubt it when Baekhyun didn’t pronounce those words too often, as if it was a secret he had cherished and kept to himself his whole life. He couldn’t when each time he whispered those words into Chanyeol’s ear, it was at random times, as if he just couldn’t keep that confession to himself anymore, as if his heart was the only thing pushing them out of his mouth and he couldn’t help it. He could do nothing but believe it with every single ounce of his being when Baekhyun pronounced those words as if he was exhaling his last, precious breath.

 

"I know," he smiled, seeing, hearing, and feeling nothing else but Baekhyun in a room full of strangers and bright, colorful lights. Nothing was more dazzling than the tiny sparkles in Baekhyun’s eyes. "I love you too," he continued, pouring the flames gently cocooning his heart in  comfortable warmth into those few words he’d never grow tired of repeating to Baekhyun.

 

He couldn’t, not when the smile that blossomed on Baekhyun’s lips every time he heard those words was the most beautiful picture, one Chanyeol wanted to carve into his soul forever.

 

However, that smile slowly vanished when Baekhyun seemed to catch something over Chanyeol’s shoulder, his features morphing into a more serious expression as he nodded towards a place located somewhere behind Chanyeol, the swift action barely noticeable.

 

"There’s our man," was the only thing he said and Chanyeol got it instantly. 

 

They were done playing around.

 

"What is he doing?" he asked, not bothering to turn around and look since that wouldn’t be discreet at all.

 

"He just got out of the door that leads to the private rooms upstairs and now he’s sitting in one of the private booths, surrounded by a few girls and another man," Baekhyun replied, gaze still stuck on their target.

 

"Who’s the other man?" he asked, bringing his glass to his lips for another tiny sip. 

 

"I’m not sure," Baekhyun hummed, staying silent for a few seconds as he simply observed before speaking again. "He looks like a businessman but I can’t tell you whether it would be an illegal business or not."

 

"If the meeting’s happening in a nightclub, I’d lean more towards the former."

 

"You’re right," Baekhyun’s eyes found his for a second as he flashed Chanyeol a smile before focusing back on his task. "They just shook hands, I guess the meeting went well," he said before falling silent for a bit more. "Joohyuk just gave him a small transparent bag filled with pills."

 

"Not an odd gift since he’s the head of Cobra’s drug branch."

 

"He has a habit of offering drugs as a gift to people he’s doing business with, if I remember well," Baekhyun added before his gaze finally moved to Chanyeol properly again. "He looks drunk, not too much but just enough. He seems to be laughing too much and is talking with big hand movements."

 

"That’s perfect," Chanyeol hummed before giving the other a questioning look. "How are we gonna approach him though?"

 

"We just have to wait a bit, don’t worry," Baekhyun simply said, shrug nonchalant and smile confident.

 

They spent the next few minutes simply talking a bit together, Baekhyun taking occasional sips of his drink but Chanyeol refraining from doing so since not only was he too busy making sure that whoever was looking at Baekhyun too much received arrows through his glares but he also had to drive them back home later. He still hadn’t turned around to take a look at what their target was doing but judging by the way Baekhyun was relaxed and kept glancing at the guy over Chanyeol’s shoulder, the latter supposed that everything was going according to the plan.

 

They didn’t even have an actual plan, however, Chanyeol only knew that they were supposed to pull the guy aside to threaten him or whatever Baekhyun would do since he had told Chanyeol on their way here that he would do the talking. Chanyeol didn’t particularly mind, Baekhyun was way better at speaking than he was anyway and he would be content just with making sure that Baekhyun was safe. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that Baekhyun suddenly perked up, gaze lingering over Chanyeol’s shoulder longer than before and causing the latter to fall silent.

 

"Is he moving?" he asked, studying the other’s features.

 

"He is, looks like he’s planning to dance a bit," Baekhyun replied, Chanyeol’s gaze following his to finally fall on their target of the night.

 

The guy was taller than Chanyeol had imagined, dressed in expensive dark clothes, hair swept away from his forehead to reveal the handsome features that Chanyeol hadn’t really paid attention to back when Baekhyun had showed him a picture of him. He did look a bit too drunk, his footsteps uncoordinated and his body swaying the slightest but he still seemed to be sober enough to give the two women that were hanging on his arms a dashing smile. He looked rather ordinary, like a rich spoiled man rather than the head of a branch of the city’s most powerful crime group.

 

"How are we gonna proceed?" he asked Baekhyun while already moving to stand up.

 

However, he was stopped by the other’s hand and fell back on his seat, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

 

"I’ll bring him outside, it’ll be easier to convince him if we’re alone and away from here," he explained, standing up. "Wait for a sign and then follow us outside when you get it."

 

That sounded like yet another dangerous plan but Chanyeol was slowly getting used to those and, wanting to save himself the trouble of questioning Baekhyun without getting any answer, he simply sighed before nodding.

 

"How are you going to bring him outside, though? He seems busy," Chanyeol snorted softly, hiding the slight tint of worry behind that sound.

 

Baekhyun simply gave him one of his confident, beautiful smiles and Chanyeol’s stomach churned a little bit at the sight. Why did he have the feeling that whatever was going to happen, he wasn’t going to like it at all?

 

"Watch and see," was the only reply he granted Chanyeol before turning around without any other word and cutting his protestations off before they even left his lips.

 

Chanyeol was left to simply sigh a bit, gaze following Baekhyun as he disappeared into the bustling crowd of the dance floor, blending into the sea of dancing bodies without any difficulty. Chanyeol had no idea what he was trying to do but Baekhyun somehow had the talent of getting himself out of the worst situations without a single scratch so he supposed that it would be okay. He watched as Baekhyun started dancing in the middle of it all, unable to see him properly since there was just too many people but still managing to catch glimpses of his moving arms, the way his hips seemed to ride the beat of the loud music that boomed through the whole room, reverberating even in Chanyeol’s chest. There were so many people around Baekhyun, a couple that were humping each other more than dancing properly on his left, three girls who looked barely even old enough to be here swaying along to the rhythm in front of him, no doubt dictated by the unhealthy substances running through their blood. Their target was also close to him, only a few people separating Baekhyun from the man and his two companions who seemed to be really bad at dancing and only knew how to trail their hands over various parts of his body.

 

There were so many people and yet, Baekhyun was the only one Chanyeol could pay attention to, his heart thudding heavily in his chest as his gaze took in every single movement of Baekhyun’s body that somehow seemed to have become one with the music as he danced perfectly along to it. His features were relaxed into a pleasant expression as if he was enjoying this more than anything else and his eyes closed so he could simply feel the music through his whole body. However, Chanyeol knew him well enough to note that this was nothing but a calculated expression and he was still a bit confused about it all but he could also see that he wasn’t the only basically drooling over Baekhyun, the three young girls dancing in front of him continuously glancing at him and giggling amongst themselves obnoxiously.

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath in. They were probably high school students at most and Baekhyun didn’t even glance at them once, they weren’t harmful and the green monster luring in the corner of his mind should go back to its silent slumber. He couldn’t blame them too much, though, not when he felt a familiar fire sparking up in the pit of his stomach and slowly spreading through his whole body as he yearned to hide Baekhyun away from everyone else and show him off as his most precious possession to every single person in this room at the same time. He exhaled all the air in his lungs at once and forced himself to look away from Baekhyun for a few seconds, letting his gaze fall back on the glass of Whiskey that he had still been holding onto this whole time, his fingers tight around it. He suddenly decided that he actually did need a bit of alcohol in his system to survive through the torture Baekhyun was probably putting him through on purpose and he brought the glass to his lips to take a single but big gulp, his throat burning the slightest as he swallowed the drink down. He was good at holding his alcohol up anyway so a single sip, no matter how big it was, didn’t matter that much.

 

However, when his gaze trailed back to the dance floor, to the spot Baekhyun had been occupying a few moments ago, his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach, consumed by the flames there in a split second when he found himself unable to locate Baekhyun. A lump of fear instantly tied in his throat but he forced himself to say calm in order not to attract unnecessary attention to him, his gaze crazily raking all over the dance floor at once. He went through all the unfamiliar faces, the three young girls from earlier and the couple who had been right beside Baekhyun, along with people he had never seen but there was no single trace of Baekhyun. He looked a bit more to the left, straightening his back to have a better view and finally, his gaze found the person who still seemed to shine the most in the whole room.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t blinded by Baekhyun’s beautiful and alluring aura this time, however. On the contrary, the flames that spread all over him in a split second, coursing through his veins and devouring his soul were anything but pleasant. A bright green alarm echoed in his head, close to the shriek of a furious beast and pounding against his temples as he took in the sight that was presented to him, Baekhyun’s closed eyes, the thin sheet of pleasure spread over his features, the alluring roll of his hips in synch with the now highly annoying music wrapped all around them, and the strong, foreign hands that were holding onto his waist. Chanyeol’s knuckles faded into white around the half empty glass he was still holding, his jaw clenching and unclenching with tension as he watched the way Baekhyun was pressing his back against their target’s chest. The man had a cocky and lustful smirk on his face as held Baekhyun against him, dancing along and letting his gaze linger way too long on the way Baekhyun’s hips moved, the latter’s backside probably brushing his crotch with every single movement. He finally understood what Baekhyun had meant when he said he would bring the target outside.

 

That wasn’t part of the plan.

 

Having to watch a stranger basically humping Baekhyun in the dirtiest way possible wasn’t part of the plan at all and Chanyeol felt every single ounce of his being lurching forward, pushing him to just stand up and snatch what belonged to him away from this insignificant asshole who even dared laying not one, but both of his dirty hands on _his_ precious Baekhyun. He hated it. He hated having to watch this so much, his chest constricting as he felt rage and possessiveness twirling around him, his mind once again lost in the eye of a violent storm that he did his best to ignore without any kind of success. He hated it so much.

 

Baekhyun was _his,_ every single inch of his being belonged to Chanyeol the same way the latter belonged to him and the sight he was forced to witness was nothing less than painful, the image offered to him pressing on every single one of his wrong buttons without rest. He knew this was just a plan, he was aware that the expression plastered on Baekhyun’s face was a calculated and simulated one but he couldn’t dim down the sudden murderous urges swarming him as he watched    the _foolish_ man leaning down to whisper something in Baekhyun’s ear, a wide smirk spreading on the latter’s face at once. He felt rage bubbling inside of him, the urge to stand up and snatch Baekhyun away stronger than ever. It was mostly possessiveness, jealousy, and any other ugly feeling remotely close to that but the instinct to protect Baekhyun was equally as strong, marked deeply at the core of his soul, carved into his mind and dictating him to make sure that nothing would happen to Baekhyun. Because Baekhyun was so beautiful, small, and fragile, both inside and outside even if Chanyeol knew deep down, that it wasn’t even exactly case. He couldn’t help it. He hated it.

 

What if the guy tried doing something? What if he tried taking this further up? What if he dragged Baekhyun up to those private rooms hidden upstairs? What if he did something to Baekhyun while the latter was too busy dancing to notice anything? Would he really let Baekhyun do this to him? Was he really going to let Baekhyun act so intimately with another man right in front of his eyes? What if he hurt Baekhyun? What if Baekhyun couldn’t protect himself? What if something happened to him because Chanyeol was too busy drowning in his own rage to do anything? Too many ugly scenarios and enraging thoughts buzzed through his head, the dim lights and the dark atmosphere shrouding the whole nightclub not helping him at all.

 

However, Chanyeol had learned from his mistakes and he wouldn’t act on a whim. He wouldn’t.

 

He took a deep breath, gaze never once leaving Baekhyun and their target even as he tried inwardly talking himself into a calmer state, doing his best to ignore the green eyed and monstrous beast roaring in him loud enough to drown out every other sane thoughts. He clung to those, however, because they were there with a purpose and he couldn’t ruin everything just because he was going insane with the thought and the image of Baekhyun being so intimate with someone other than him. This was work. This was business. This was Baekhyun’s plan. He couldn’t do that. This was their last chance. He had to trust Baekhyun, he would never do anything to hurt Chanyeol on purpose. He was controlling the situation. If anything were to happen, he would have no problem shoving one of the daggers he probably kept in his sleeves down their target’s throat. Nothing would happen. This was okay. Chanyeol only had to let him go through with this stupid plan so they could go home as quickly as possible.

 

It took him around five minutes to calm down enough for his heart rate to regain a normal pace, the process slowed down since he had never once looked away from Baekhyun the whole time and the latter had continued dancing, pulling his prey into his alluring trap so effectively Chanyeol could almost feel Joohyuk’s weakness from where he was.

 

At some point, when Chanyeol was sure that he wouldn’t be murdering anyone for now, Baekhyun turned around to face Joohyuk, his arms wrapping around the taller’s neck so naturally Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel his right eye twitch in irritation. Then, he watched as Baekhyun leaned forward, his heart freezing in his chest for a second before he realized that he was only intending to say something to their target but had to lean closer to his ear because of the loud music. The only thing that Chanyeol could see after that was Joohyuk leaned to whisper back into Baekhyun’s ear, causing the latter to let out a pleased chuckle that screamed fake to Chanyeol but that probably pumped up Joohyuk’s ego. With narrowed eyes, Chanyeol felt his confusion grow for a split second as Baekhyun pulled away from their target only to grab his hand and start pulling him away from where they were.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to move or not but when Baekhyun’s eyes met his for a split second when he looked over his eyes, he knew that it was the sign Baekhyun had told him to wait for. Relief washed all over his body at once and finally, Chanyeol stood up from his spot at the bar and weaved himself through the crowd with quick steps, not wanting to lose Baekhyun when anger was still simmering in his veins. It was the plan, though. Even if Chanyeol hadn’t been told about it at all.

 

The fresh air from outside was a nice contrast with the stifling atmosphere in the nightclub and he felt disoriented for a split second when the music was muffled behind him and all he could hear was conversation coming from the people still lined up in front of the entrance. He took a deep breath, calming himself down and feeling rather proud of himself for having survived through this without harming anyone. He couldn’t linger there uselessly, however, and he looked around, frowning when he was unable to spot Baekhyun and their target. His gaze caught on a small alley on his right after a few seconds, a bit far from the nightclub, and he let his feet carry him there since it seemed like the likeliest place to take someone if you wanted to convince them of something the way they were planning to.

 

The closer he got to it, the better he could hear muffled voices and it didn’t take him long to recognize the husky chuckle belonging to Baekhyun so he sped up the pace and stood right in front of the opening, freezing at the sight shoved into his eyes as soon as he could spot Baekhyun. He had his back pressed against the dirty wall, Joohyuk’s body pressed against his front as if the latter had been the one to cage him there. Chanyeol felt his fingers twitch as he watched the man lean against Baekhyun’s ear, probably whispering things that Chanyeol didn’t even want to imagine while his hands were gripping Baekhyun’s waist. The latter did nothing, staying still and Chanyeol waited for him to do something, to push the other away, or shove a blade against his neck even if every single inch of him was craving to personally make sure Joohyuk would never be able to get his hands on Baekhyun or on anything else, for that matter.

 

However, his blood started boiling in his veins when Joohyuk’s lips were getting dangerously closer to Baekhyun’s, the latter still not doing anything to prevent that from happening. He felt something wrap around his neck, tight and cruel and vicious, something that didn’t even loosen when Baekhyun turned his head away at the last second, causing Joohyuk’s lips to land on his cheek before he trailed down the length of Baekhyun’s neck.

 

That was the last straw and Chanyeol felt green and ugly explosions going off in his mind as his body seemed to be taken with a foreign control that pushed him forward, his hand reaching for the gun tucked in the holster under his jacket. Before he even realized what he was doing, his hand grabbed a vicious hold of Joohyuk’s collar and he pulled him back and away from _his_ Baekhyun in a violent movement only to slam him on the wall right beside the latter. Maybe Baekhyun had something else in mind, maybe this had been part of his plan as well but Chanyeol couldn’t care at the moment and he simply did what he had yearned to do for too long now, digging the barrel of his gun against Joohyuk’s neck.

 

"What the fuck are you doing?!" were the slurred words coming from the person Chanyeol was nurturing more murderous feelings towards than he had to anyone else in his whole life.

 

His pupils were blown wide, an obvious sign of the alcohol running through his system, and he was slurring his words but Chanyeol could see that he wasn’t too drunk either, something that was confirmed by the way his eyes widened in fear as soon as he properly looked at Chanyeol.

 

"I think it’s time to sober up a little," he replied through gritted teeth, satisfaction crawling through his mind when Joohyuk kept silent for a few seconds, surprised and probably still wise enough not to try angering someone who held a gun against his throat.

 

Chanyeol caught Baekhyun moving away from the wall from the corner of his eye and he guided his gaze to him, rapidly checking if he was injured or if the idiot he was hiding at gunpoint had done anything to him. However, the only thing that greeted him were the sparkling swirls of amusement dancing in Baekhyun’s eyes and Chanyeol felt his anger fueled a notch by the way Baekhyun !probably enjoyed all of this. His amused smile grew wider when his gaze met Chanyeol’s and the latter chose to turn to their target instead, before his finger _accidentally_ slipped on the trigger.

 

Now that his surprise was gone, the latter seemed to have lost a bit of his wisdom, glaring at Chanyeol and trading the fear in his eyes for irritation.

 

"What do you want?" he asked through gritted teeth, gaze flickering to Chanyeol’s hand once before he looked at it him again, probably unable to see anything because of the angle. That was enough for him to know that he was only putting on a brave act.

 

"I’d love to burst your brains out right now," muttered, voice low and dark with that same feeling of possessiveness mixed in with anger.

 

Joohyuk seemed to be confused for a few seconds before his gaze flickered to Baekhyun, then to Chanyeol again, then to Baekhyun as he seemed to put the pieces back together and finally understood why Chanyeol was almost trembling with rage. He seemed to be smarter than Chanyeol thought but that didn’t stop him from digging the barrel of his gun deeper into his neck, calling Joohyuk’s attention back to him because the mere knowledge that he was looking at Baekhyun was enough to send shivers of discomfort down his spine.

 

"I… I didn’t know," Joohyuk then said, trying to press himself back further against the wall of the dirty back alley.

 

Baekhyun chuckled quietly next to them and Chanyeol reminded himself to deal with him once they’d be done with this matter.

 

"You’re Nam Joohyuk, head of Cobra’s drug branch, aren’t you?" Baekhyun finally spoke, voice losing any trace of amusement now that they were finally talking business.

 

"Yes, you little shit," Joohyuk snapped at him, obviously annoyed by him since Baekhyun basically seduced him into a trap. 

 

"Watch your language," Chanyeol groaned and without his having to do anything remotely painful to the the other, Joohyuk startled and looked at him with wide eyes. How could someone so pathetic even end up as one of Cobra’s higher ups? Privileges, he guessed.

 

"You used to be Venom’s sniper, right?" Joohyuk asked, voice small and almost trembling now that he was addressing Chanyeol.

 

"Used to be?" he couldn’t help but question, frowning.

 

"Well, Cobra and Venom merged together when Kim Junmyeon was still alive and now that he died, that Minseok self-proclaimed himself as the new leader of Cobra after killing Sehun and anyone who even tried opposing him. You haven’t shown yourself for close to a month so I assume you _used to be,_ " was the other’s soft, hesitating reply.

 

His words sent a sour taste down Chanyeol’s throat.

 

"He really didn’t waste a single second," he heard Baekhyun mutter next to him and when he spoke again, Chanyeol chose to let him do the rest of the talking. "You hate it too, don’t you?"

 

"Why would I?" the other replied, tensing up even more under Chanyeol’s hold.

 

Baekhyun seemed to notice it too, his lips twitching into a knowing smile.

 

"He wasn’t supposed to be your leader, especially not like this."

 

"I got no say in that matter," was Joohyuk’s calculated reply and Chanyeol could see the gears turning in his mind as he tried to figure out why exactly they were holding him down and engaging this conversation with him.

 

"Oh, come on," Baekhyun snorted softly, gaze never once wavering as he stepped a bit closer to Joohyuk. Chanyeol glanced at him, making sure that he wouldn’t do anything that would actually force him to use his gun before they got what they wanted from the  target. "You hate him more than you hated Sehun," he muttered, gentle voice coaxing Joohyuk into admission.

 

"I didn’t hate him," the other replied but it was obvious that he had never been mentally strong and his panicked gaze kept flickering between Chanyeol and Baekhyun. He was scared, which meant that Baekhyun was right.

 

"You did," Baekhyun stated easily. "He never gave you enough money for your job, like he did to most people. All of you snakes are so greedy," Baekhyun spat out, shaking his head in calculated amusement. He was trying to anger the other and Chanyeol wasn’t sure that was the best thing to do.

 

Joohyuk seemed to finally snap at that, offended by the truth in Baekhyun’s words, and retorted with an angry voice.

 

"You seem to be greedy too, trying to shove your tongue down my throat despite having a boyfriend right here–"

 

Chanyeol didn’t give him the occasion to even finish that sentence, however, his fist flying to collide against the other’s face without hesitation as his words sent rage through his whole body. No one was allowed to speak to Baekhyun like that, not on his watch, and if he could, he’d make sure this guy would never even be able to speak about anyone but unfortunately, they were here for a purpose.

 

"I’ll bust your tongue instead of your brain if you’re not more careful," he threatened the other, voice low and rumbling with anger.

 

He could almost feel the satisfaction radiating off Baekhyun next to him but he paid no attention to it, pleasantly watching as Joohyuk groaned in pain, spitting the blood in his mouth out before looking at Chanyeol again, all traces of irritation gone from his eyes. He was such a weakling.

 

"What the hell do you want from me?!" he finally asked, voice trembling the slightest with despair.

 

"We actually want similar things," Baekhyun casually shrugged. "We want you to help us get rid of Minseok," he continued, going straight to the point and surprising Joohyuk who froze for a few seconds before laughing as if the idea was absurd.

 

"Why would I do that?" he asked once he had stopped laughing, convinced by the cold steel of Chanyeol’s gun against his neck.

 

"Because you’re not satisfied with your new leader," Baekhyun stated simply, as if it was obvious.

 

"I don’t care about it as long as he pays me properly," Joohyuk tried one last time but his gaze kept flickering around as he was so obviously lying.

 

"Really?" Baekhyun drawled out, tilting his head a bit as he let curiousness seep into his voice. "Is that why you met with a few of your men in this exact nightclub a few days ago to discuss a way to slip some pills into his drink and make him choke on his own blood?"

 

Chanyeol felt Joohyuk freeze against him, his breath hitching for a second as panic filled his eyes entirely. He too was surprised by that but he supposed that was the reason why Baekhyun had been so sure that Joohyuk would help them. Baekhyun never took part in a game if he wasn’t sure of being the winner once it would end.

 

"It’s a slightly stupid plan, if you were to ask me," the other continued, chuckling softly to drag their target into a deeper state of distress. "We’re not in a royal palace from centuries ago or anything of that sort. You should upgrade your evil plans."

 

"How do you know that?" Joohyuk asked, voice now barely audible, as if it wanted to disappear and hide away from the danger that Chanyeol and Baekhyun probably represented for him.

 

"I got my ways," Baekhyun shrugged, his smile turning slier as it widened. "I also got my ways to make sure Minseok knows about it too."

 

"You can imagine how he’ll react to it, can’t you?" Chanyeol added, unable to keep the satisfaction at bay as Joohyuk gulped loudly, wide eyes filled with fear and panic.

 

It didn’t take him too long to finally give up, cursing under his breath for a few seconds during which Chanyeol felt the anger dimming down, victory taking its spot away. If Minseok were to learn that someone was plotting his downfall behind his back, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill them and that was exactly what he had done until today so it wasn’t difficult to see that Joohyuk was sure that it would happen to him as well.

 

"Fine," he finally said through gritted teeth. "Fuck, fine! What do you want me to do?"

 

"You’re going to set up a meeting for us with Minseok."

 

"What?!" Joohyuk immediately protested, eyes wide.

 

"Not a direct meeting," Baekhyun added, rolling his eyes in amusement. He had probably done that on purpose just to see Joohyuk panic like that and Chanyeol had to bite his lower lip to conceal an amused smile. He was too good at this. "You can just tell him that there are a few rebellious allies for your drug business and that they requested a meeting with him concerning a few things."

 

"He won’t believe me," Joohyuk shook his head violently.

 

"He will," Baekhyun said sternly, eyes narrowing in threat. "You’ll make him believe you and he will believe you. He’s probably eager to show himself off as Cobra’s new leader, anyway. Tell him the meeting will take place in one of Cobra’s old warehouses. The small one near the construction site Cobra stopped years ago. You know which one I’m talking about?"

 

"Yes," Joohyuk muttered, obviously still unwilling to do this.

 

"If he doesn’t want to go there, choose a similar spot. We’ll contact you to get some information on the matter soon but the meeting will have to take place on Monday night, three days from now. That’s all you have to do, we’ll take care of the rest," Baekhyun continued and Chanyeol was almost impressed by how serious he could get when it came to business. "Don’t try to rat us out to him or attack us on your own either, you’ll fail and we’ll know. If I sense anything fishy, Minseok will know about your evil little plans right away."

 

"Fine," Joohyuk snapped, unable to control himself after the string of orders Baekhyun had poured on him. He probably wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of orders. "You better pay me a good sum of money for this."

 

"I’m letting you live, that’s more valuable than any amount of money," Chanyeol snorted, still bubbling with the need to hurt the other but keeping himself away from it. They needed his help.

 

"You can go now. Thanks for your cooperation," Baekhyun added, giving Joohyuk a blinding but vicious smile that still managed to tick Chanyeol off.

 

Chanyeol finally pulled the gun away from Joohyuk, freeing the latter who instantly relaxed but still threw them distasteful glares before immediately scampering away from them, quietly cursing under his breath, footsteps way more coordinated than before. Chanyeol supposed he had at least really sobered up a little and he relaxed the slightest now that they were done with their purpose for tonight. Joohyuk would most likely cooperate, Baekhyun had used the best words possible to let him know it would be in his best interest.

 

However, Chanyeol’s gaze found Baekhyun and instantly, all the anger and the irritation struck him at once when he saw the innocent smile Baekhyun was trying to give him. Chanyeol silently glared at him for a few seconds, pouring all his negative feelings into his gaze as he tucked his gun away again. Baekhyun didn’t seem to be affected by it at all and he chuckled softly before stepping closer to Chanyeol and grabbing his hand.

 

"What? At least it worked and we can go home now," Baekhyun said without needing Chanyeol to tell him what had gotten him so worked up.

 

"Was that really necessary?" he demanded through gritted teeth, still letting Baekhyun lace their fingers together, however. Because he was so damn weak when Baekhyun looked at him with an apologetic glint in his eyes that was mostly drowned out by all the amusement and mirth but that was still genuine nonetheless. 

 

"It worked, didn’t it?" Baekhyun smiled, pulling him closer. Chanyeol very reluctantly let him do so.

 

Chanyeol sighed. He was right, as always. At least, it worked without them attracting unnecessary attention to themselves. He supposed it might have not been that easy had they tried something else. Maybe he could let it go this time. Baekhyun looked apologetic enough. Mostly amused out of his wits but still a bit sorry.

 

"What are we going to do now, though?" he asked instead.

 

"We’ll figure it out. We just have to wait a bit so let’s just go home now," Baekhyun smiled, pulling on his hand to get him to start walking towards the car.

 

They walked in silence for a bit but it only lasted a few seconds before Chanyeol couldn’t help but speak again, the images of Baekhyun so close to another man unwilling to leave his mind and continuously flashing behind his eyelids each time he blinked.

 

"Did you have to let it go that far? He was about to fucking shove his tongue down your throat. You could have pushed him away or pressed a knife against his neck the way you did to me so many times," he accused, hating the way he sounded so petty and jealous even to his own ears.

 

However, Baekhyun didn’t seem to hate it and he pressed himself closer to Chanyeol, their arms brushing and their hands remaining laced as he looked up at Chanyeol with a wide, amused, and beautiful smile.

 

"Maybe I just wanted to see your reaction," he chuckled softly and Chanyeol felt himself melt away so easily, it was slightly pathetic.

 

"Satisfied?" he snorted.

 

"Very," Baekhyun stated confidently, satisfaction and amusement twirling in his voice along with a few teasing notes. "You look really hot when you’re jealous."

 

"You’re making it worse," Chanyeol snorted even if he felt his heart warming up a bit at Baekhyun’s words.

 

Then, the other did something unexpected.

 

"But I’m sorry," he muttered a bit hesitantly, glancing at Chanyeol as if he was afraid that the other really would be mad at him. But how could he be? "It was just business but I know I might have taken it a bit too far. It didn’t mean anything to me, you know it."

 

"It’s okay," Chanyeol sighed, lips curved into a small but light smile. The mere fact that Baekhyun was willing to genuinely apologize was enough for him to know that it really did mean nothing but business. That was just the way Baekhyun was, he liked to push Chanyeol to his limits whether he did it on purpose or unconsciously and Chanyeol had learned to accept him the way he was, just like Baekhyun had learned to accept him the way he was. "Just don’t do it again or I can’t guarantee the same calm reaction as tonight."

 

A relieved smile blossomed on Baekhyun’s lips before he shook his head in amusement. "This was a calm reaction?"

 

"I didn’t kill him, did I?" Chanyeol grumbled under his breath, pulling a soft chuckle out of the other.

 

They fell into silence again after that, Baekhyun finally deciding to just let Chanyeol be and enjoy his own satisfaction instead. Chanyeol pulled him closer, letting go of his hand to drape his arm over his shoulders and tuck him against his side instead, aware of how possessive he was being but unable to regret it when Baekhyun let out a satisfied sigh and rested his head against his shoulder.

 

However, he caught a whiff of an an unfamiliar scent and immediately, he looked down at Baekhyun in disapproval.

 

"You smell like him," he complained, hating every prospect of this situation all over again.

 

Baekhyun didn’t lose his amusement, however, simply shaking his head in mock exasperation and looking up at Chanyeol with that devastatingly beautiful smile that hid away how much he actually enjoyed this situation.

 

"I’ll let you shower with me when we’re home just so you can make sure I’m all clean again," he replied, cooing those words out as if Chanyeol was a child throwing a tantrum.

 

"I will," Chanyeol retorted immediately, not even trying to hide the pettiness away from his voice.

 

They looked at each other for a few silent seconds before Baekhyun burst into laughter, dragging Chanyeol into it as well. The latter laughed along, finally releasing all the tension he had accumulated in his body in the span of a few hours.

 

It didn’t matter, though, because at the end of the day, Baekhyun was once again smiling at no one else but him. And he hadn’t allowed his lips to meet Joohyuk’s, even if he could have.

 

"We make a good team, don’t we?" Baekhyun asked once their laughter died down, snuggled against Chanyeol as they walked to the car as if he too had missed the other’s warmth in the short time they had spent apart.

 

"We’ve always made a good team," Chanyeol replied gently, confident even if he didn’t remember it all.

 

And Baekhyun might drive him crazy one day with his silly games and his tendency to drag him into danger on every single occasion he could get but that didn’t change the fact that they would always make a good team, together. 

 

Left alone, they might be a mess, but when together, nothing could ever stop them.

 


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

Patience was like waiting for the grey, threatening clouds to dissipate at dawn to leave way for the sun to shine over the droplets of rain they had cried over the earth for the whole night and call every single tear back up to the heavens. Patience was waiting for the wind to stop throwing dust into your eyes with the cruel intent of clouding your sight with a dark storm and pull thunder and rain out of your soul. Patience was waiting, craving to feel the warmth of a lover’s embrace for days, weeks, months, and maybe long years during which you aged of several lifetimes. Patience was looking out of the window for days, waiting for half of your heart to come back to you from war. It was a feeling locked in the eyes of a hungry and lonely puppy waiting at the door of a home for its owner to finally come back to it without moving a single inch ever since sending them away in the morning of the same day. It was the sole thing that kept a tired and worn out body from collapsing in the middle of an everlasting and wounding day, the only spark to cling onto for the flames of determination to never cease fluttering around that same weak body.

 

Patience was knowing how to control every single cell of your being, knowing how to order your soul and your heart around, knowing how to be the one and only master of your needs and your cravings. Patience was waiting, waiting no matter how difficult and painful it was, waiting and enduring until eventually, the chance to strike back and reach for the well-deserved prize at the end of a long and painful road would be presented in front of you on a silver plate. Patience was staying still, not moving even a single inch of your body even through the wind, the rain, the icy cold, the scalding hot sun, and the pain surging through your veins. It was waiting, looking, watching, hearing, and sensing with your finger pressed against the trigger, a pull away from adding another stolen life to an endless collection.

 

It could be the biggest weapon on earth, it could be the only way to keep yourself alive through the wait and the display of a weak façade that you could never break until you’d be sure that the right moment would come. It could also be the biggest weakness in the world, the one thing that would lead you to being crushed under the crumbles of your dreams and expectations when you’d realize that all the waiting had amounted to nothing and had been utterly useless.

 

Patience was something that Chanyeol had been taught. He had carved the ability to be patient into his mind through harsh training and painful words whenever he was faced with failure. He had taught himself to never ever move even a single inch away while waiting for his target to slide into his sightline. He had mastered the patience needed to aim properly before shooting, he had learned to always glance back at the target to make sure he hadn’t missed even if he _knew_ he never missed, always striking with a single bullet right in the middle of the victim’s forehead or right between their eyebrows, depending on his mood. 

 

One of the main reasons why Chanyeol had carved such a high status for himself in the underground world was because he had always been patient and was always rewarded with a perfect success rate concerning his skills as an assassin.

 

However, when the sun peaked at the moon behind the pastel and warm colored curtains covering the sky on Monday morning, Chanyeol finally learned that patience was nothing but a superficial notion that even someone with nerves made out of steel couldn’t always grasp between their fingers.

 

It was the third day after Baekhyun’s shenanigans and his dangerous behavior at the club where they had gotten a hold of Joohyuk and convinced him to work for them. It was the day Chanyeol had both dreaded and expected for such a long time. It was the day everything would hopefully end. He wasn’t sure exactly what would end, if he would be happy with how things would end or if he’d be one of those persons whose patience had amounted to nothing but he knew that something had to end tonight and he had had a few days to prepare himself for that prospect.

 

The past two days had been part of the slowest days of his life and despite knowing that he still had until tonight to actually do something about this whole situation, he still could feel excitement, dread, and something like adrenaline surging through his veins like a poison that had kept him up for most of the night. He hadn’t been able to sleep much despite knowing that he needed all the rest he could get for tonight, only drifting in and out of sleep, the time he spent awake much more lengthy than the time he spent in Morpheus’ slippery embrace. It had been the same way for the past two days as well, he hadn’t been able to stay in place, continuously training, making up all kinds of scenarios in his own head, or going through the whole plan with Baekhyun who, despite not being in a state as bad as Chanyeol’s, obviously dreaded this very day just as much. They had been together through it all, however, and Chanyeol knew that he would do anything to make sure they would be together by the end of this day as well.

 

That was the only reason why he was even going through all of this, after all, and he was once again reminded of that after spending most of his night simply letting his eyes drift between staring at the moon and Baekhyun’s sleeping figure next to him only to decide that moonlight was worth looking at only if it made Baekhyun’s skin glow, caressing the other’s features as gently as Chanyeol’s gaze did, and reflecting on the inky silk of his locks. Sometimes, halfway through the nights, Chanyeol forgot whether he was looking at Baekhyun or a moonbeam that had been graced to him by the heavens, a personification of one of the most beautiful things in the universe that he never wanted to send back up to the sky. Baekhyun was always in his embrace whenever the sun took over the moon’s reign too, however, and then, he turned into a drop of sunlight instead, warming Chanyeol up, shining into his life, and pulling him out of the night that always managed to fall over his mind, his thoughts turning into little stars that sparkled too painfully for him and tired him out.

 

Sometimes, Chanyeol wasn’t even sure whether Baekhyun was real or not but all it took was for the other to shift a little, adorably crinkling his nose in his sleep, or unconsciously letting out a soft sleepy sound for Chanyeol’s heart to sing love songs in his chest and dance over its own rhythm all at once. It always reminded him that he was alive, alive and breathing the same air as Baekhyun, a beautiful and ethereal creature that Chanyeol would never allow himself to part from.

 

That night, the reason behind Chanyeol’s sleeplessness was only half natural.

 

Despite it being difficult to sleep with the adrenaline and dread coursing through his veins along with the dark thoughts, Chanyeol almost forced himself to keep his eyes open and his gaze over the face that he wanted to mark into his memories and never forget. He knew he had to sleep, he knew he had to rest and gather as much strength as he could but somehow, he wanted to spend this last night simply staring at Baekhyun, marking every single one of his quirks into his mind even if he already knew all of them by heart. The more he trailed his gaze over the gentle furrow of Baekhyun’s eyebrows, his fluttering, closed eyelids, the gentle slope of his nose and the beautiful arch of his upper lip, the deeper Chanyeol found himself buried in a thought as dark as the nights he used to spend without Baekhyun by his side.

 

What if this would be his last chance to spend a whole night simply staring at his dream with his eyes wide open instead of letting his unconscious travel to the Lands of Morpheus to seek for it?

 

Chanyeol was determined to get out of this excruciatingly long fight as the sole and only winner but it wouldn’t be easy, not when his opponent was a heartless being that might just be even worse than anyone he ever had to fight until this day. He would do his best to protect Baekhyun but he knew that he wasn’t indestructible, no matter how much he would force himself to appear as such. It would be difficult and at the end of it all, he might be unable to dream with his eyes wide open and lost on Baekhyun throughout the next reign of the moon over the earth. Not because Baekhyun would be taken away from him, not at all. Chanyeol was simply throwing himself into this battle with the mindset of giving his life away if it meant that Baekhyun would continue shining as brightly as if he was part of the moon and this world was his to reign over.

 

He was only doing this for Baekhyun and what would happen to him didn’t matter that much if it meant that Baekhyun would be safe. If he was to lose this fight, he was only willing to do so by taking Minseok down with him to make sure that Baekhyun would be okay afterwards. This was for Baekhyun. Because Baekhyun deserved a happy ending more than Chanyeol did.

 

He had thought about a lot of things while waiting for the sun to rise and laying a breath away from the light of his life, he had thought about everything they had gone through, every single ounce of pain he had been at the receiving end of, and each and every day Baekhyun had spent with a blinding pain in his soul, all because of him. Baekhyun deserved so much happiness and Chanyeol would only leave this world after making sure that he would get it, because no matter how much Chanyeol had suffered until today, it was nothing compared to what Baekhyun had been through for the past ten years of his life. Baekhyun had always lost, _always,_ but tonight, Chanyeol would do everything in his power to make Baekhyun the sole winner of this war, even if he would give his last breath away fighting for him.

 

Now that he thought about it, maybe patience was none of the things he had thought it was. Maybe patience was nothing but Baekhyun who had never given up despite being a child of the dirty streets of a cruel city. Baekhyun had never given up, he had never given up on Chanyeol, not when the latter had dragged him into a life he might not have wanted when they were young, not when he had cried his lungs out while begging Kyungsoo to let him throw himself into a fire years ago to meet Chanyeol in the deepest part of the abyss, and not when he had had to live for eight long years dying everyday with the thought that Chanyeol had lost his life because of him. He had always waited, waiting and waiting again until the day he had found out that Chanyeol was alive, he had continued waiting even after figuring out that Chanyeol didn’t have a single memory of him left. He had never stopped being patient, not when trying his best to make Chanyeol remember, not when the latter hated him, not when Chanyeol had chosen the man they were the victims of over him, and not now, when they had no one but each other left.

 

Baekhyun was the strongest person Chanyeol would ever meet in his life and right at that moment, as he synched his breathing with his, Chanyeol once again thought that if there was someone worth giving his last breath away to, it would be no one but Baekhyun.

 

As if Baekhyun had somehow managed to hear his thoughts, he slowly started stirring a bit, his eyebrows furrowing the slightest bit and pulling Chanyeol’s lips up into a tender smile that widened when his eyelids fluttered open, eyelashes batting softly like a bird’s wings against dawn’s sky. It was a bit endearing, the way Baekhyun could probably wake up as soon as someone would step closer to his bedroom’s door but never did when Chanyeol was sharing the same bed as him. He hoped it was because Baekhyun knew he would protect him under any and every circumstance, at the beginning of a day, in the middle of the night, or even through the end of the world.

 

"Couldn't sleep?" the other mumbled softly, hooded and sleepy eyes staring into Chanyeol’s as he shuffled a bit closer to him until the tips of their nose brushed together and Chanyeol almost went crosseyed looking at him.

 

He hummed softly, knowing that it would be useless to deny it, and simply trailed his hand up Baekhyun’s bare arm, fingers dancing over his shoulder a little bit before finding their way up along the other’s neck, squirming over his jaw for a while and then finally tangling in his silky locks. "It’s too early, you should go back to sleep," he whispered, swiping Baekhyun’s hair away from his forehead so he could look into his eyes more properly. It had been only a few hours since Baekhyun had fallen asleep but Chanyeol still had missed the gentle sparkles in those dark orbs enough for him to finally take a deep breath as soon as he found them again. They were so beautiful, much more beautiful than the few diamonds he had spotted in the sky through the window earlier.

 

"You haven’t slept much, or at all," the other replied, closing his eyes for a second as if Chanyeol’s gentle caresses against his scalp were enough to send him back into slumber.

 

"How do you know?" he chuckled softly, feeling more than seeing Baekhyun shivering at the deep, hoarse sound of his voice. 

 

"I’m amazing enough to know," he smiled, the curve of his lips lazy and sleepy as he looked into Chanyeol’s eyes again. "And you have eye bags."

 

"If you’re trying to say I’m ugly, I’ll kick you out of bed," he playfully threatened the other but Baekhyun didn’t take part in his gentle banter, his smile fading off a little bit.

 

"What’s wrong?" he asked instead, his hand taking the same path Chanyeol’s had taken on his body, trailing over the taller’s arm, his shoulder, and his neck only to slide over his nape where his fingertips danced and drew small curlicues on his skin.

 

He stayed silent for a few seconds, simply enjoying the sensation but unable to do so for much longer when Baekhyun was looking at him with that worried gleam in his eyes, waiting for an answer.

 

"Today’s the big day," he simply breathed out, his chest tightening a bit.

 

Nothing had really happened since the meeting with Joohyuk and after that day, Chanyeol hadn’t shown any visible sign of anxiety or fear either, he had simply focused on training and preparing himself for a fight that wouldn’t be easy to win. They hadn’t talked about it much besides the few technical aspects and what would happen to them there and Baekhyun hadn’t shown any sign of fear either but Chanyeol knew he wasn’t the only one to feel this way right now. He could see it in the way Baekhyun was looking at him with an understanding glint in his eyes.

 

"It is," Baekhyun hummed softly, fingertips still sliding over Chanyeol’s skin. A few silent seconds passed by before he spoke again. "Are you scared?"

 

He almost smiled at the way Baekhyun knew him so well but the anxiety slowly crawling into his mind prevented him from pulling his features into anything but a grimace.

 

"I really don’t know how everything’s gonna go tonight," he confessed, comforted the slightest bit and coaxed into it by the warmth of Baekhyun's fingers against his skin. "We waited for it and I know we managed to win against Junmyeon, we would’ve won even if Minseok hadn’t appeared then but this is different. Minseok is so much worse than Junmyeon," he explained, mind flashing back to every single victim of Minseok’s that he witnessed, the way their bodies were barely even human once Minseok was done with them. A single mistake would lead them to that kind of end.

 

"You don’t need to be scared, Chanyeol," Baekhyun called for his attention again, eyes boring into his as his fingers stilled against his nape, grabbing onto it to make sure Chanyeol was listening to his soothing voice. "As long as we’re together, there’s nothing that we can’t overcome, right? That’s what you said. That’s what we both believe in."

 

And he was right. Chanyeol knew Baekhyun was right but despite it all, words flew out of his mouth.

 

"I’m not scared for myself, Baekhyun," he exhaled. "I’m scared for you."

 

"Me?" the other asked, that single word almost breathed out against Chanyeol’s lips because of how close they were to each other.

 

"I’m scared of losing you." He took a deep breath, shaking his head a bit. He hated himself for showing this side of him to Baekhyun again when the latter had been nothing but strong through everything they had been thrown into but he couldn’t help it. Fear wasn’t like patience, you couldn’t learn to control it, not all of it, at least. "I don't even care about what could happen to me, at this point. I only care about you, I’m doing this for us but I don’t want to lose you. I’ll never forgive myself if I lose you again."

 

He couldn’t lose Baekhyun, not when the mere thought was enough to send billions of tiny poisoned arrows into his chest, each of them piercing through his heart, wounding it, killing it slowly, sucking the life out of him through their sharp tips. He couldn't lose Baekhyun when even spending a few minutes with the other out of his sight was like spending a whole lifetime in anxiety and worry. He couldn’t imagine a life without Baekhyun. He couldn’t even for a single second draw the image of that kind of life in his mind. It just didn’t work, it didn’t fit, that kind of life was nothing but a big, thick curtain of darkness in Chanyeol’s mind.

 

He couldn’t afford to lose Baekhyun and he would do everything he could in order not to let that happen but Baekhyun wasn’t a damsel in distress. He wasn’t a weak, naive person who needed Chanyeol’s protection and would stupidly listen to every single order he would give him. This was Baekhyun’s battle as much as it was Chanyeol’s, this was _their_ battle and they would both fight in it because despite wanting Baekhyun to never ever leave the confine of this small, safe house they’d been living in for almost three weeks now, Chanyeol knew it wouldn’t happen. Baekhyun would fight, he would put his everything into it and he wouldn’t want Chanyeol to protect him because they both had to fight their hardest to make sure that everything would turn out okay. He wouldn’t be able to protect Baekhyun forever, no matter how much he needed to do it, even if he saw it as his eternal duty. They would both fight and Chanyeol needed both to fight and make sure that Baekhyun was okay.

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun called out to him softly, his hand now cupping Chanyeol’s cheek, thumb gently rubbing over his cheekbone. They looked into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, Baekhyun’s continuously darting between Chanyeol’s as his teeth sank into his lower lip for a few seconds. He took a deep breath before speaking and Chanyeol felt himself doing the same thing. "If you want, we can still drop everything and run away. We don’t have to do this. We don’t have to fight. We only need to survive and we can do it together, away from all of this."

 

It was tempting. Even now, it sounded so tempting to simply grab Baekhyun’s hand and run away as far as they could, go somewhere no one would recognize them at, away from pain, death, and sorrow. It was so tempting, Chanyeol could feel every single ounce of his soul pushing him to accept Baekhyun’s offer but a single proper look into Baekhyun’s eyes was enough for him to shake his head, fears and worries tamed by the bright glint of uncertainty in Baekhyun’s eyes. 

 

He was being selfish again. It would be selfish to drag Baekhyun away with him now when he had refused the other’s offer to run away only a few days ago. It would be stupid of him to believe for even a single second that they would be able to survive away from all of this when this life was all they had known. It would be even more foolish to think that Minseok would even let them run away. He wouldn’t. Minseok would go after them even if it meant dropping all the power he had in his grasp right now and running through borders for years to locate them. Minseok never once let his prey escape him. He might engage in a vicious game with it, he might torture it and let it think that it had won for a short while but at the end, he would still crush his target with a single blow. They were the targets and the only way to be free would be to face the predator head on and win the battle instead of fleeing like cowards.

 

Moreover, Chanyeol had already been through this so many times in the past. Deep down, he knew he didn’t actually want to run away. It was just the fear talking, the voices _whispering_ like they always did when night fell upon him. However, daybreak was chasing them away now and the only voice he was paying attention to was Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun who wanted this revenge, Baekhyun who had patiently waited for ten long years in order to love him freely, Baekhyun who had lost so much in this useless war.

 

He needed to do this. He needed to do this for Baekhyun more than for himself.

 

"No," he finally replied after what felt like an hour, his voice firm, unwavering now that he had finally been able to take the reigns of his mind and chase the fear away. He didn’t have to be scared. As long as Baekhyun would be with him, there would always be a glimpse of light waiting for him at the end of this abyssal path. "We’ve been running away for too long. I’m tired of running away from a fight that would only follow me around like a curse," he shook his head, grabbing the hand that was still cupping his cheek to lace his fingers with Baekhyun’s. "I wouldn’t even be able to live peacefully without avenging all the people we lost. Both Jongin and Kyungsoo have died without any reason, simply because they loved us. We can’t do this to them and I know you wouldn’t be able to live with that guilt for the rest of your life either. We need to take what belongs to us back."

 

The smile that blossomed over Baekhyun’s lips was enough for him to know that he had said the right thing and Chanyeol’s gaze dropped to it, eyes filling with the wonder of a child seeing the first flower blossoming after a long and harsh cold winter. It gave him strength and it was still almost surprising, the way Baekhyun could turn his whole mind around with a single glance, a mere word, or a tiny smile. 

 

"You’ve grown so much," the other whispered, as if a louder tone would scare the sun away and call the moon back to watch over the world. "I’m really proud of you." Chanyeol felt his lips curling into a wide smile as well, one that he couldn’t keep at bay when his chest warmed up with the words that he had been craving to hear from Baekhyun all this time. That was what he wanted to be, someone Baekhyun could be proud of, someone he could lean on, and someone he would never have to let go of. "I can now see why Seungsoo wanted you to be his heir."

 

As soon as he heard those words, however, the smile fell off his lips like a leaf wounded by an early Fall. That was another thing he had thought about for days and maybe that was the sole reason why he was so insecure about this whole situation.

 

"Would I really be able to do it, though?" he couldn’t help but ask Baekhyun who looked at him in momentary puzzlement, his thumb gently rubbing soothing circles over the back of Chanyeol’s hand.

 

"Do what?"

 

"Take over Cobra. Would I really be able to do it?" he repeated, sighing softly.

 

"Of course, you can do it," Baekhyun chuckled softly, as if Chanyeol’s insecurity amused him. However, he knew that wasn’t the reason why he was laughing, it was just an attempt at lightening Chanyeol’s mood. "You’re a great assassin and you’ve been in this field for years, you’ve been the closest to the leader of an assassin clan for such a long time as well so you know how to lead. You can do it. It might be difficult at first but I’ll be there for you every step along the way and we’ll learn together. I’ll help you."

 

"But I was raised by Junmyeon", Chanyeol snorted bitterly, spitting that name out like the curse that it was. "What if I turn out to be like him?"

 

That instantly broke Baekhyun’s smile, replacing it with a frown and Chanyeol felt bad but he couldn’t hide that thought away. Junmyeon was all he had known for years, he had been the perfect figure to look up to, the perfect model Chanyeol had based his whole life on until only very recently.

 

"Junmyeon didn’t raise you, Chanyeol. He manipulated you. Seungsoo is the one who raised you, who raised us, and he taught you a  lot of things. You might have forgotten it, but it’s still somewhere deep inside of you and I’m sure you’ll be able to put it into use. You’re not a monster, you’re not going to turn into one like Junmyeon," he said, catching Chanyeol’s gaze as he pronounced those last words very clearly and loudly to make sure he understood. "You’re a skilled assassin and you’ll be able to lead Cobra just the way Seungsoo would’ve wanted you to. I know you can do it and Junmyeon did too, that’s why he kept you with him for so long at first, until those disgusting feelings were born."

 

Chanyeol couldn’t help but scrunch his nose in disgust at those last few words, the memory of what Junmyeon had told him about that still so fresh and still very much making him feel slightly nauseous. At least, his grimace made Baekhyun laugh a bit.

 

"You shouldn’t worry about Cobra right now, though. We have a psycho to deal with first and believe me, if we manage to kill Icy Satan himself, every other member of Cobra is going to accept you and thank you for the rest of your life," he continued after his laughter died down a little.

 

"Just when I thought you’d matured a little, you go and call Minseok _Icy Satan._ What are you? A child?" he snorted, this time out of amusement.

 

"You know very well I’m not a child, Chanyeol-ah, don’t you?" Baekhyun drawl out in a low voice, obnoxiously wiggling his eyebrows while looking into Chanyeol’s eyes.

 

"I’m really going to kick you out of bed," Chanyeol laughed, playfully trying to put as much distance as possible between them but failing to do since Baekhyun’s hold on him was strong enough to hold him in place and he wasn’t even willing to actually pull away from the other.

 

Instead, he surprised Baekhyun by suddenly leaning forward to land a small peck on his lips, smiling when the other instantly relaxed against him and stopped wiggling around so much. No trace of fear was left in Chanyeol now, there was nothing but warmth and endearment for the man he wanted to share his life with left in his chest.

 

However, there was still something he needed Baekhyun to know so he waited for the other to be done with playing with the bird’s nest that was supposed to be his hair to speak again.

 

"Just so you know, I’m not going to lose you," he stated, voice carrying strength and a final tone to Baekhyun’s ears, his words seemingly pulling the other’s lips into a light smile. "This isn’t like fighting Junmyeon. Minseok is far worse, he’s not manipulative and calculating like Junmyeon was, he’s just a blood thirsty monster ready to do anything to please himself and he won’t be afraid to play dirty right under our eyes if he ever has the occasion to."

 

"I know," the other simply said, those two small words enough for Chanyeol to know that Baekhyun would be with him through it all.

 

However, he already knew that and it wasn’t what he wanted to discuss with Baekhyun.

 

"I don’t know how all of this is going to end, even if we both are going to fight until the end to win this battle. But if it all came down to choosing between taking over Cobra and keeping you by my side, I wouldn’t even hesitate, Baekhyun. I’d choose you."

 

Maybe Baekhyun already knew that, maybe he already suspected that Cobra didn’t matter to Chanyeol as much as it mattered to him but the latter still enunciated those words with confidence and no trace of hesitation. If he were to make a choice, it would always be Baekhyun. If he were to choose between keeping his own life and keeping Baekhyun alive, his choice would still be Baekhyun. It would always be Baekhyun. No matter what.

 

"You won’t have to make a choice, Chanyeol," the other said with as much confidence as Chanyeol had in his voice, his gaze sharp and sure as it locked with Chanyeol’s. "You won’t make the choice because at the end, you’ll have both Cobra and me by your side. I will never ever leave you alone, not in this lifetime, not even after death. I’ll always be by your side. We promised, right?" the other reminded Chanyeol, his eyes gleaming with gentler and tender sparks.

 

"We promised," Chanyeol whispered back to him, his heart melting in his chest and dancing around in joy all at once. The way Baekhyun smiled at him made it worse, his lips taking on that beautiful, boxy curve, his eyes crinkling in the corners and taking the gentle shape of the half moons that shined directly into Chanyeol’s heart. It was impossible for him to keep his next words to himself when his whole soul was screaming them at its twin and the same words were dripping from Baekhyun’s eyes, shimmering and wrapping all around Chanyeol like the warmest and safest waters he could give his body away to without fearing any harm. "I love you," he finally whispered, like a secret shared with no one but Baekhyun and the sun watching over them behind its warm colored robes in the sky.

 

"I love you too," Baekhyun whispered back to him, closing his eyes as Chanyeol nuzzled the tip of his nose against his. His eyes were closed too but he didn’t need to see Baekhyun’s smile to know it was offered to him the same way he didn’t need to look into his eyes to know those words of love were coming from the bottom of Baekhyun’s heart.

 

He didn’t need to see anything when he could feel the other’s heart beating against his, beating _for_ him and, lured into a gentle slumber by that familiar melody after a while, Chanyeol finally allowed himself not to fear anything. Baekhyun’s heart would always beat against his, tonight, tomorrow, in a week, and even years later, up until they would both grow old and their hearts would be too weak to continue beating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t until a few hours later that they actually managed to get out of bed, Chanyeol having drifted in and out of sleep for a while and keeping Baekhyun from moving away since he had refused to let go of him. He knew Baekhyun didn’t actually mind staying in bed with him for just a  few more hours anyway, he simply liked complaining for anything and everything. He hadn’t even protested too much either as the sun had barely even risen when he had woken up to Chanyeol staring at him and they both had probably needed the few more hours of sleep that ended up charging them enough for Chanyeol to finally allow Baekhyun to drag him out of bed.

 

They had decided to eat afterwards and since neither of them liked cooking that much, it hadn’t mattered much that all they ate was cornflakes that ended up being too soggy for Chanyeol as he had spent more time continuing to stare at Baekhyun and listening to him endlessly chatter to pay proper attention to his breakfast. He wouldn't have been able to eat even if he had wanted to though, nervousness was still settled somewhere in the pit of his stomach like a stubborn flame unwilling to die out no matter how much he tried to ignore it. They laughed together, conversed casually like they always did and even if he couldn’t eat a proper meal, it didn’t matter much for Chanyeol when Baekhyun was smiling at him, shoving spoonfuls of cornflakes into his mouth and staining his chin with a few drops of milk.

 

He always ate like a child and no matter how many times Chanyeol cleaned around his mouth, collecting the stains of milk with his thumb, Baekhyun always managed to mess the corner of his mouth again. After a few minutes, Chanyeol had finally managed to catch on the fact that he was doing it on purpose and he playfully scolded him, calling him out on his childish behavior and laughing along with him until Baekhyun finally finished his cornflakes without any major trouble. By the end of it, the flame in his stomach had fairly dimmed down and Chanyeol was grateful for Baekhyun’s obvious efforts to cheer him up on one of their most difficult days.

 

However, the joy and carefreeness could only last for a moment before they had to properly discuss their plan for tonight as the hours were quickly flying away and they had a fixed time to present themselves at the meeting place.

 

"Let’s just go over it again since we couldn’t talk about it in details last night, Joohyuk sent us the confirmation at like 1AM," Baekhyun grumbled, obviously displeased by that fact.

 

"It probably wasn’t easy to get Minseok to agree for a meeting concerning the drug branch," he shrugged, knowing how Minseok was even if he hated to defend the man who had been all over _his_ Baekhyun only a few days ago. The blood in his veins almost started boiling again at the memory.

 

"Either way, we aren’t too well-prepared for it but at least, we have the advantage of the meeting taking place somewhere we’re familiar with," the other replied, standing up to take both his and Chanyeol’s bowls to the sink for them to wash the dishes later. "It’s going to take place where I asked it to but even if Joohyuk convinced Minseok to attend the meeting instead of him, he probably isn’t going to do it alone."

 

"He won’t, he’ll probably be wary of everything since he thinks of us as mere toys and weaklings but he also knows that we’re not that bad," Chanyeol hummed. It was really difficult to ever fully understand Minseok but that was one thing he was sure about. The elder wasn’t reckless or stupid, he was powerful but he’d always be careful and protect himself.

 

"Joohyuk did say something like that," Baekhyun mused out as he settled back across from Chanyeol on the small kitchen table. "He never walks around alone these days, he always has Jongdae by his side and a few other men. He said Minseok would probably put a few people around the building and inside as well since it’s a two-storied building and the meeting will take place on the ground floor."

 

"There’s an abandoned construction site right in front of it, the area is secluded and no one would come to disturb us if we’re quick enough to desert the place once we’re done," Chanyeol informed the other even if Baekhyun probably already knew all of that, he had chosen that specific place for a reason, after all. "We can take them by surprise, he probably isn’t expecting us to find him now, not after two silent weeks."

 

"Exactly, there’s nothing to show that Joohyuk ratted us out to him and he probably really does think this will be nothing but a business meeting," Baekhyun agreed, his eyebrows furrowed in that familiar way they always were whenever he was thinking hard about something.

 

"I think it would be best to wait for them to settle first. It’ll be easier to attack once they think they’re safe. Minseok is probably going to get there early just to make sure that the place is safe. We should go in through the backdoor and get rid of his men one by one to free the path to him first," he offered as that seemed to be the best thing to do. It would be useless to go in and directly attack Minseok himself if they would be outnumbered and shot as soon as they laid a finger on the elder.

 

"I don’t think that would be the best thing to do," Baekhyun suddenly said, causing him to frown a little bit.

 

"What do you think we should do then?" he simply asked, not bothered by the fact that Baekhyun was opposing to him. Baekhyun was smart, they both were and Chanyeol trusted him to make a good decision as well so they could simply discuss it together and form the best plan possible.

 

"I think only one of us should go in while the other watches the whole area from a near place," Baekhyun explained and his tone was sure but it was obvious from his gaze that he already knew Chanyeol wouldn’t be pleased by his proposition.

 

"No," he immediately refused, shaking his head. "That would be too dangerous for the person inside. We shouldn’t separate."

 

"It would be easier to go in alone, Chanyeol," Baekhyun argued calmly. "We’re both assassins, really good ones at that, and we both have already had to infiltrate a house but this is different. Minseok is going to have men planted everywhere and going in together would be too much of a hassle, we might slow each other down. One of us should be stationed in the construction site in front of it."

 

"It would be too dangerous, Baekhyun," he repeated, voice firmer after having listened to Baekhyun. It could make sense, it did make sense, but Chanyeol would never want to leave Baekhyun alone in the middle of their mission if staying together would give them a higher chance of surviving. "If one of us watches from afar, it would take an awfully long time to reach the other in case something happened if he’d have to cross the whole building and then go in."

 

"It would be much easier to have a global view of the whole building!" Baekhyun frowned harder, voice going up a notch as he seemed to grown frantic when faced with Chanyeol’s refusal. "It would be really helpful to have someone watching through a scope mount to locate people inside the building and then give directions to the other," he continued explaining, hands motioning around as he did his best to convince Chanyeol before he finally realized that he was getting worked up over the issue and leaned back into his seat instead, mumbling his next words out. "And this way, at least one of us would be safe if things took an ugly turn."

 

He couldn’t help but sigh at those last few words, bringing a hand up to run it through his hair in frustration. It made sense and Chanyeol didn’t like it but Baekhyun was right, in a way. It would be much safer for one of them to give directions to the other instead of the both of them throwing themselves into the lion’s den blindly. This was important, they wouldn’t afford to accept failure because failure would mean death, or worse, in this situation and Chanyeol had promised both Baekhyun and himself that they would end this day hand in hand like they always did.

 

However, this wasn’t a matter he needed to breach with his emotions, he simply needed to think and do the right thing. He had tried his best to stop acting on his emotions for such a long time and he didn’t want to break that decision in the most crucial moment for them. He needed to trust Baekhyun. The latter was asking him, pleading him with his eyes, trying to convince him and make him trust this decision. Baekhyun wouldn’t do anything stupid. He wasn’t stupid and what he said did make sense so there was no reason for Chanyeol to make an issue out of it when the last thing they needed now was to fight and hurt each other. They had to trust each other fully and work together, as one, because that was the only way they would be able to overcome these hardships. With these thoughts in mind, Chanyeol took a few seconds to observe Baekhyun, his teeth sinking into his lower lip out of distress before he finally sighed and gave the other a tiny nod of his head.

 

"Alright, you’re right. It would be smarter to do that," he grumbled halfheartedly despite himself, worry still etched deeply into his mind no matter how hard he tried ignoring it.

 

At least, the relieved and beautiful smile that spread over Baekhyun’s lips made it easier to deal with.

 

"Great, then I hope the lack of practice didn’t make your wonderful sniper skills rusty. You did get a bit old in the past few weeks but it wouldn’t be fun if I won over you both in the hand-combat and the sniper departments," Baekhyun shrugged nonchalantly, firing those words out quickly with a teasing smile as if he already knew what Chanyeol’s reaction would be.

 

"You’re going to be the one to go in while I watch from afar?!" Chanyeol’s voice boomed throughout the room with tints of surprise and disapproval.

 

"Of course," the other shrugged once again, still with that same infuriating smile. It was still amazing how Baekhyun could find something to be amused by under any circumstance, however bad it was. His eyes narrowed a bit and he cut Chanyeol’s incoming protestation off before it was even fully formed on his lips. "The only area I can’t help but lose against you in is height." He scrunched his nose a little bit in distaste at his own words but not even that was enough to calm Chanyeol down. "But it’s still an advantage for me because it makes me so much faster and swifter than you are. It’s only natural for me to be the one to go in while you play the sniper hero."

 

"Baekhyun," he says in that tone that always seemed to come out whenever Baekhyun proposed something that could either end up being the best thing he had ever imagined or a terribly stupid mistake. "I actually don’t think that’s a good idea."

 

"Chanyeol," the other retorted in an exasperated tone. "This is our only chance. You’re really good at guiding an operation through the eyes of a sniper and I’m really good at sneaking up on people to quietly attack them, you know it yourself," he reminded Chanyeol who almost grimaced at the memory of all those times he had painfully experienced that particular skill of Baekhyun himself.

 

"We don’t know what Minseok is preparing for us. He could already be aware of everything for all we know," he protested even if he could feel his walls crumbling down bit by bit the more Baekhyun explained everything in a rather logical way.

 

"That’s exactly why I need you to be there to guide me through it," Baekhyun repeated, this time with a softer voice as if he could feel Chanyeol’s worry heightening and his resolve crumbling down bit by bit.

 

"Fine," he finally said after a few silent seconds. This would be the best thing to do. "We’ll be communicating through it all though," he stated more than asked because it would happen, he wouldn’t leave Baekhyun the choice concerning that aspect.

 

"We will, don’t worry," the other chuckled softly. "I knew you’d make an issue out of this so I grabbed earpieces from Kyungsoo’s house when we were there."

 

"I’m glad that was one of the few thoughtful moments you had that day," he scoffed without any real bite. He still hadn’t entirely gotten over their misadventures from that day even if it was all just really amusing adventures in Baekhyun’s eyes.

 

"Thank you," the other snorted before drifting the conversation towards a more serious topic again. "The construction site in front of the building we’ll be meeting Minseok at is basically done already, the building is properly built save for the windows and the back of it but you’ll be able to conceal yourself properly to watch and help me."

 

"Alright," Chanyeol once again sighed reluctantly. "But if I see that even the tiniest of things is going wrong, I won’t hesitate to immediately join you in there," he warned the other because no matter how important their revenge was, Baekhyun’s safety mattered much more to him.

 

The other seemed to know that and the smile that he gave Chanyeol wasn’t an irritated or impatient one, the corners of his lips was dusted with fondness and his eyes were gleaming with endearment, as if he liked the way Chanyeol was constantly worried to death about him. He probably did and somehow, Chanyeol appreciated that as well.

 

"You can. Whatever I say won’t stop you anyway but please, Chanyeol," the other said softly, almost pleading. "I know this is important to you but it’s just as important to me. Minseok killed Kyungsoo, right in front of my eyes and I need to, I _have_ to be the one to avenge him or I will never be able to get a good night’s sleep ever again."

 

It could have been easy for Chanyeol to protest at that moment but he didn’t, he couldn’t because the way Baekhyun looked right now was painfully familiar, a reflection of what Chanyeol saw in the mirror when Jongin’s death was still fresh and awfully painful to him. Chanyeol hadn’t been able to kill Junmyeon with his own hands, at least not physically, and maybe that would remain as the biggest regret of his life but he wouldn’t do that to Baekhyun. He’d be there to help but Minseok was Baekhyun’s target and he would respect that.

 

"I know," he said, leaning over the table to grab Baekhyun’s gentle fingers between his, lacing their hands together, forming their own string of fate tainted red by the droplets of blood that would always stain their hands no matter how many times they’d try washing them away. "I’ll be there to help you but I know how important it is for you and you’ll be the one to take Minseok’s life away."

 

Even if Chanyeol would have to be the one to bring him closer to his end, Baekhyun would be the one to pull the last ounce of life away from him.

 

Baekhyun’s smile was grateful and bright, so bright with the light that Chanyeol had fallen in love with years ago without the feeling ever diminishing an ounce.

 

"Thanks," the other whispered, giving Chanyeol’s hand a gentle, grateful squeeze before his eyes narrowed mirthfully. "But I know you, you’re probably going to jump into the situation as soon as someone gets too close to me so I’m telling you right now, you’re not allowed to go in until I give you the sign."

 

"What sign?" he mumbled under his breath, inwardly cursing the way Baekhyun knew him so well even if his chest warmed up at the same time.

 

"You’ll know when you see it," the other shrugged, mysteries and sparkles swirling together again in those beautiful dark orbs. Chanyeol simply smiled back at him, ridiculously weak and smitten.

 

"At what time do we have to be there?" he asked after struggling to rid himself of the effect Baekhyun’s smile had on him. It was still as difficult as the very first day. The first day in the present they shared together, and probably the very first day of the past too.

 

"Midnight," Baekhyun replied, his slender fingers playing with Chanyeol’s, gaze focused on them. 

 

It was still in a long time, noon was still an hour away and Chanyeol wasn’t sure how he’d be able to survive until the meeting time with the way his heart kept beating at an irregular pace, dread, excitement, and adrenaline churning in his stomach all at once. He wasn’t really scared, he had stopped being scared as soon as Baekhyun had smiled at him this morning and he just wanted all of this to end quickly so he could finally focus on nothing else but Baekhyun. At least for a little while because he knew only more hardships would await them as soon as the biggest one would be overcome. 

 

As if Baekhyun had heard his thoughts, which almost seemed to be the case most of the time, his playful eyes locked with Chanyeol’s again and the latter prepared himself for probably another crazy thing to come out of the beautifully shaped mouth of his lover.

 

"Now, we have the whole day to waste away and if you think I’m going to spend the whole of it in the kitchen, you should at least do something to make it more entertaining," the other said, voice taking an almost sultry tone as his eyes darkened, gleaming stronger than ever.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t even surprised anymore, just deeply amused.

 

"I don’t think it’s the right day to _entertain_ you, Baekhyun. We should probably just train a bit more or something," he said, half serious, half wanting to simply contradict the other.

 

"Don’t be boring, Chanyeol," Baekhyun instantly retorted, disproval clear in his voice despite the amused smirk still permanently hung on his lips. "Even the old lady from the convenience store in town is more entertaining than you when we gossip."

 

"You don’t know half of the people she gossips about," he deadpanned, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Wrong," the other retorted. "I know none of the people she gossips about but that doesn’t mean it’s not interesting to listen to."

 

"Go gossip with her then," he snorted, slightly offended and ridiculously jealous of an old woman Baekhyun could only see as his grandmother. Hopefully, at least, he thought before almost shaking his head at his own stupidity. Baekhyun still had the ability to make Chanyeol feel more stupid than anyone else ever could.

 

"Don’t be jealous of an old lady," the other scolded him, enjoying this far too much judging by the amused rays oozing off his whole being. "She always gives me a pack of candy for free and you certainly can’t compete with her cookies but in the candy area…" Baekhyun trailed off, wiggling his eyebrows so obnoxiously Chanyeol felt the urge to punch him, almost wincing at his crude and very stupid pun.

 

However, despite being stupid and so irritating, Baekhyun somehow always got whatever he wanted, even in the worst situations and Chanyeol still wasn’t completely sure how it happened, but he always, _always_ ended up losing against the other. And as soon as he tugged on Baekhyun’s hand harshly to pull him closer over the table and press his lips into his, the victorious and knowing smile on the other’s mouth was once again enough for Chanyeol to feel like he had lost for the thousandth time.

 

Or at least, until Baekhyun whispered three gentle little words into his ear, three little syllables that dripped directly from Baekhyun’s heart into his, sending the weak muscle into overdrive, a confession that warmed Chanyeol’s soul up, wrapping it in gentle, loving flames that made him feel like he had won the rarest, most precious, and brightest jewel in the whole universe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those three little words were the same ones that Baekhyun whispered into his ear the same night, hours later when they were in front of the meeting place, making Chanyeol’s heart beat faster than it had the whole day, through Baekhyun’s useless antics to make him feel less nervous, the hours they spent getting ready for this exact moment, and the whole silent journey in the car. It hadn’t taken long to get there with the way Chanyeol had driven faster than usual with the unconscious intent to get there as soon as possible and then go back to a safer place as soon as everything would be done, hand in hand with Baekhyun once again.

 

The later had been silent through the whole drive, his fingers occasionally drumming on the armrest of his seat, his hand sometimes slipping down to rest on Chanyeol’s thigh, pouring warmth into his skin through the fabric of his jeans and soothing his heart the slightest bit. His gaze had constantly been trailing around, looking in front of him, out of the window, to the rearview mirror, and then lingering on Chanyeol. Despite the way he had tried hiding it the whole day, it was obvious that Baekhyun was as reticent and dreadful as Chanyeol was and somehow, that was a comforting thought because Chanyeol just had to focus on calming himself down in order to calm Baekhyun down as well. That hadn’t been easy to do throughout the whole day but now, as they both stood at the back of the building Chanyeol was to station himself at, their fingers laced together as they silently stared at each for what Chanyeol hoped would not be the last time ever, he felt his heart bathing in calm. It was an old feeling of peace, like the silence before the harshest of storms, but it was soothing nonetheless and he found the strength to curve his lips into a small smile.

 

Baekhyun rewarded him with a gentle smile of his own, his gaze trailing over Chanyeol’s features as if to mark his face into his memory a last time. 

 

"Stop looking at me as if you’re never going to see me again," he said softly, hoping that the teasing lilts in his voice concealed the small spark of fear he tried keeping at bay in the pit of his stomach. 

 

He did feel calm but it didn’t mean that he didn’t feel scared at all because he did. He did, but it didn’t matter because it was an unfounded fear, a feeling that he’d overcome by avoiding what he dreaded the most. They would find each other again at the end of this night. That was the only reason why they were doing this, in order to be able to freely hold hands again and never ever have to let go of each other. 

 

"I think that’s just the way someone looks at the person they’re deeply in love with," Baekhyun said softly, his thumb drawing gentle circles on the back of Chanyeol’s hand, coaxing the spark that was in his his stomach to burst into a wild fire consuming Chanyeol’s entire soul and keeping him warm. It wasn’t fueled by fear, however, the flames fluttered with nothing but affection and love. "You always have the same look in your eyes whenever you look at me. That or the look that tells me you’re not sure whether you want to kiss me or break my nose," he added as if in afterthought, voice caressing Chanyeol’s ears in mirth.

 

However, that wasn’t enough for Chanyeol not to notice the way his voice quivered the slightest bit with something that sounded as cold as dread no matter how much Baekhyun tried hiding it behind the usual playful gleams in his eyes. And at that moment, Chanyeol couldn’t help but bite his lower lip to conceal a grin at the thought that Baekhyun wasn’t the only one able to read the deepest parts of him anymore. He wasn’t the only one able to predict each of Chanyeol’s moves, able to hear every thought hidden behind his words like he used to be months ago. Chanyeol knew Baekhyun as much as the latter knew him now and somehow, he felt his chest welling up in pride, his heart singing in joy and dancing around wildly in his ribcage.

 

Now wasn’t the time to linger on how much they had grown together in the span of these last few months, however, and Chanyeol squeezed Baekhyun’s hands a last time before letting go, ignoring the way cold seeped into his soul as soon as the warmth of Baekhyun’s skin was taken away from him.

 

They had things to do, important things to do as soon as possible and they couldn’t get behind on schedule.

 

"I’ll ultimately decide whether I want to kiss you or break your nose once we get out of here later," he said, leaning down to grab the case containing his sniper riffle before looking around warily. "There’s no one around but you should stay here and wait for me to settle and give you the green light to go in. Stay here, don’t move until I tell you to and don’t speak too loudly either," he continued, voice growing stern and loosing every trace of affection or amusement now that he knew they had to focus on the task at hand instead of on each other.

 

Baekhyun never really was good at focusing on the right things, however, so he simply rolled his eyes, knowing for sure that it always ticked Chanyeol off when he did that.

 

"Yes, I know, you’ve told me to do that four times already today. We talked about this and I know what I have to do, I’ll just wait for you, no need to repeat it a fifth time later on while you’re settling on your spot," he grumbled, lips curved into that usual infuriating yet dashing smirk. Chanyeol still wasn’t sure whether he loved it or hated it. "Though, I have to say I love this bossy side of you. It’s kinda hot," he added, voice lowering down a bit and taking on an almost sultry edge.

 

In the span of those few months, Chanyeol had prided himself with learning how to ignore Baekhyun’s seductive tendencies when necessary and that was exactly what he did at that moment, simply raising an eyebrow.

 

"Don’t turn your earpiece off and be careful not to break it as well. They’re probably done settling so I’ll go now," he said, heartbeat a bit too loud in his ears as he looked right into Baekhyun’s eyes, hoping that his unwavering gaze would be enough for the other to win over the small fear settled somewhere in him.

 

It seemed to be as Baekhyun’s smile softened a bit and he silently nodded before motioning Chanyeol to leave so they could finally start what he hoped wouldn’t be a suicide mission. It was supposed to go well, there was no reason for it go downhill and all Chanyeol had to do for now was to turn away and open the door to disappear up the stairs and settle on a spot he’d judge perfect to watch over Baekhyun and guide him into the building right across the street.

 

It was difficult to do, however, and Chanyeol wasn’t really sure why he found himself unable to move even a single inch of his body, gaze lost on Baekhyun who looked at him in confusion for a few silent seconds.

 

"What’s wrong?" he then asked, eyebrows furrowing in the way that let Chanyeol know the other was probably imagining all kinds of scenarios and was ready to once again offer Chanyeol to just drop everything and leave.

 

Chanyeol didn’t want that to happen, though, so he simply voiced out the bright thought that rung in his head like an alarm and kept him from walking away from Baekhyun.

 

"A good luck kiss," he requested softly, aware of how ridiculous he sounded but not even caring about it when this night could either end every single ounce of pain they had both been through or add hundreds of layers on top of it to thicken it even more.

 

He would’ve expected Baekhyun to tease him, maybe mock him about it and refuse to comply to his request but surprisingly, the other did none of that and simply let a gentle, tender smile blossom on his lips as he shook his head lightly before stepping closer to Chanyeol. The latter closed his eyes, his free hand resting on the other’s waist as their lips met and he kissed the most precious flower he had ever owned, one that he hoped would never be plucked away from him. Baekhyun’s lips were soft as petals, warm as the sun’s caress, and captivating as a colorful field of flowers that covered miles and miles of Chanyeol’s world. The kiss didn’t last long but Chanyeol felt every ounce of hesitation and fear drained out of him as he breathed in the familiar, comforting scent wafting off Baekhyun from their close proximity.

 

Only when he felt brave and energized enough did he break the kiss, his lips lingering on Baekhyun’s lower lip for a second before he finally pulled away and looked at the shorter for a last time, letting the sparkles swirling in his dark orbs shine into his soul for another second and chase away every trace of shadow left in him before he stepped back. It was now easier to turn around and open the backdoor of the abandoned, nearly fully constructed building and climb up the stairs after closing the door behind him and leaving Baekhyun to wait for his instructions outside.

 

His long legs took him up two steps at once and his footsteps were muffled but quick, his gaze trailing around out of caution even if he did his best to be as fast as possible since they had already lingered outside for too long and if Minseok were to wait for who he was supposed to meet for too long, he would probably get suspicious and find out that something was wrong. Silence echoed around him the same way his heart beat steadily in his temples and it didn't take long for Chanyeol to reach the third floor of the building, his steps careful as he wasn’t even sure this building was safe enough for anyone to even wander inside. It didn’t matter that much, however, as this was the best spot possible for him to have a perfect view of the two storied building right across the street and as soon as he reached the right floor, he stopped, freezing to listen to his surroundings for a few seconds. It was completely silent and only when he was sure that it would be safe did he slide a finger over the single earplug he was wearing, pressing on the tiny button to activate it as he laid his long, rectangular black case on the floor, kneeling beside it to open it. The line grizzled once as he got his sniper riffle out of the case and immediately started setting it in front of the opening made for a window that wasn’t actually there, leaving nothing but a rectangular, small hole in its place.

 

 _"Are you in?"_ Baekhyun’s voice said into his right ear, perfect and loud enough for him to understand everything.

 

"I’m setting things up," he replied into the tiny microphone sealed under the collar of his shirt. "Can you hear me clearly?"

 

 _"I can, it’s perfect,"_ Baekhyun replied with a  light chuckle as Chanyeol set the weapon properly, not forgetting to fix the scope mount with the night view on top of it and checking the munitions before letting the long barrel of his weapon rest on the windowsill. He closed an eye, leaning forward to look through the scope mount, fingers tight around the weapon he was familiar with. It wasn’t his own riffle, not the one he used all the time, but if you were a good musician, playing with someone else’s instrument wouldn’t alter the sound you produced and Chanyeol knew that this wouldn’t affect his skills either. _"Do you think this would have a similar effect to phone sex if used properly?"_

 

At those words, Chanyeol simply shook his head in exasperation, his lips twitching into a faintly amused smile as he was too focused on adjusting his view to properly listen to Baekhyun’s nonsensical words.

 

"We’re not going to have anything remotely close to phone sex right now, Baekhyun," he chuckled quietly, expecting to hear the light snort that caressed his ear the next second.

 

 _"I didn’t say anything about right now so maybe you’re the one a bit too impatient if that’s immediately what came to your mind,"_ the other drawled out teasingly, his words helping to ease Chanyeol’s nerves further even if he knew this conversation was probably just for Baekhyun to ease his own nerves down. 

 

"You haven’t moved, have you?" he asked as he finally looked at the building across from where he was stationed.

 

It didn’t look too abandoned, for once, it looked rather strongly built and not too old. It was a rather small warehouse, a two-storied building that looked empty and unused but not to the point of slowly crumbling down. The walls were of a dirty brown, he supposed since he couldn’t see properly, and the surface was tagged in different colors, different words and figures covering a few patches of the building located in an old and mostly unused neighborhood of the city. However, the light he could see through the old and dirty windows on the ground floor was enough for Chanyeol to know that it wasn’t entirely unused since Minseok was waiting there for the person he was supposed to meet, a man also stationed in front of the door, dressed in all black as he looked around, not moving a single inch away from the entrance.

 

Chanyeol trailed his gaze to the right, catching sight of another man looking out of the window right next to the door, probably stationed in the entrance of the building to wait for whoever they thought they were going to meet. A shadow moved on the other side of the door and Chanyeol lingered there for a few seconds, waiting for another shadow to pass by before the light was suddenly turned on in that room and he managed to count three men there which made a total of five men on the ground floor minus Minseok whom he didn't manage to catch sight of yet.

 

 _"Nope, I’m waiting very patiently while behaving,"_ Baekhyun’s bored voice replied into his ear, momentarily breaking Chanyeol’s focus before he raked over the ground floor a second time to make sure he hadn’t missed anyone.

 

"There are five people on the ground floor, one of them is outside, right in front of the door," he informed the other, slowly moving his gaze upwards to inspect the first floor. One window was broken and he lingered there for a second, trying to see despite the complete lack of lightning in that floor. The night view of his scope mount helped, however, and he knew that Minseok would probably station a few men on the second floor as well which turned out to be exactly what he had done since it took Chanyeol only a few seconds to catch movement in the room.

 

 _"How many people on the first floor?"_ Baekhyun asked, his voice now serious and stern as they had no time to joke around or make crude jokes anymore. It had always been easy for Baekhyun to jump from one emotion to another and adjust to the environment and as much as that could be a nuisance sometimes, it was always useful whenever the situation took an abrupt dangerous or serious turn like it did now.

 

"I spotted two men in the room on the far left side of the floor," he muttered, gaze slowly moving to the right, going over to the next window that didn’t let anything appear, the whole floor silent and unmoving until he reached the last window on the far right side where shadows moved, a faint light turning on for a second as if someone had lighted up a small flame. It could either be the light coming from an electronic device such as a phone or the small flame of a lighter used to light up a cigarette. Judging by the color of the light, Chanyeol would lean more towards the latter option but it didn’t matter that much as the small second of light was enough for him to discern a few shadows behind the window. "A few more in the far right side but I thought this was supposed to be a warehouse? It just looks like a simple building with a few rooms," he commented as he took another overall look over the first floor for the last time.

 

 _"It is a warehouse, that’s what people usually call it anyway but it’s divided into small rooms. It used to store a few things for several small shops around the city before they all closed down and it was left empty. Cobra ended up snatching it away but even they rarely use it,"_ he heard Baekhyun explain before the other sighed softly. _"Looks like it won’t be that easy, there’s around ten men inside, right?"_

 

"Right," Chanyeol replied, nodding to himself even if Baekhyun couldn’t see it. They both knew this wouldn’t be easy but they trusted each other and that was what mattered. Chanyeol was there to guide Baekhyun through it and he was ready to jump in if anything was to go wrong. "But you’ll enjoy it more this way," he continued lightly, knowing that Baekhyun was probably far less nervous about this than he was.

 

 _"You’re totally right,"_ the other chuckled softly, the soft melody of his laughter flowing right into Chanyeol’s chest and warming it up the same way you’d feel warmed up by sliding under your blankets after spending the whole day outside in the middle of the icy winter. _"Check the fire escape for me,"_ the other then requested.

 

Doing as told, Chanyeol slowly raked his gaze over the building while moving it towards the right where he knew the staircase leading to the fire escape was. It wasn’t anything too big since the building was small, just a grey, metallic staircase that was planted right in front of the ground floor’s emergency exit and that led to the emergency door of the first floor. They had discussed it back at home and Baekhyun would go in through there instead of the backdoor as it would probably be easier and less guarded. He could’t really see much of the staircase, however, as it was difficult from where he was but there was no one on the stairs and the guy stationed in front of the entrance of the building was far enough from it.

 

"I can’t see properly but I don’t think there’s anyone outside. Not sure if there’s someone waiting inside, on the other side of the door though," he added, listening to Baekhyun hum in thought into his ear.

 

_"I’ll go from there, it’ll be easier to take people down starting from the first floor."_

 

"Alright, it’s clear so you can go. I’ll keep an eye on the guy in front of the entrance but I won’t take him down unless absolutely necessary since they just got there and they’re probably still communicating," he said, trailing his gaze to the side and away from the warehouse while waiting to catch a glimpse of Baekhyun moving there.

 

It didn’t take too long, only a few seconds later, he caught a shadow slipping into his sightline as it grazed the surrounding buildings while heading towards the staircase only a few feet away. Quickly, Chanyeol guided his gaze towards the man guarding the entrance door, making sure that he had no idea that someone was heading towards the side of the building before snapping his eye back to Baekhyun and following him amongst the dark shadows of the night. Baekhyun slid into the narrow alley just wide enough for nothing but the fire escape to fit, pressing his back against the wall and looking up to see whether Chanyeol had missed someone there or not.

 

"Is there someone?" he asked, his gaze slowly raking over the staircase until he couldn’t see the top anymore.

 

 _"Nope,"_ Baekhyun’s voice replied through his ear plug and Chanyeol watched as he carefully made his way up towards the stairs, slowly climbing them as his hand disappeared somewhere under the hem of his jacket, holding a dagger when Chanyeol caught sight of it again.

 

"The door might be locked," he warned the other as he turned his rifle a bit to the side, finding the nearest window to the fire exit again and lingering there for a few seconds. There was a shadow who seemed to be alone there but he only had the view of the window and he couldn’t be sure whether someone was hiding in the same room away from the window.

 

 _"I have amazingly skilled fingers, it’s alright,"_ Baekhyun’s teasing voice whispered into his ear and he snapped his gaze back to him, watching as he wrapped his fingers around the door, now unable to see the rest of him from where he was. _"Too bad I won’t be able to show you, it’s not locked. But well, you already know what I can do with those magical fingers,"_ he continued, mock disappointment dusting his voice, and the way he was talking directly into Chanyeol’s ear through the ear plug only made the playful edges of his words more obvious than usual. Chanyeol forced himself not to lose his focus.

 

"Shut up and go in. Be careful," he grumbled, sliding his focus to the window as he waited, catching the sound of a door opening before he heard a gasp that didn’t belong to Baekhyun through the earplug. 

 

He frowned, cutting his own breath off as he paid attention to all the sounds he could catch but silence took over once again after a few mere seconds during which he heard the rustling of clothes followed by a groan of pain and the characteristic sound of a blade piercing through a human body.

 

 _"Someone surprised me in the entrance hall but I surprised him more,"_ he then heard, those words accompanied by a low chuckle that was the cue for Chanyeol to breathe again as he then noticed how fast his heart was suddenly beating.

 

"Good job," he muttered, trying his hardest to focus on the window he was looking through. He had promised himself to remain coldblooded during this but it was so different than the usual missions he had gone through hundreds of times over his life. It was the same thing, the same duty, the same weapon in his hand, and the same kind of earpiece he had worn so many times but it was different. This was a matter of life and death both for him and Baekhyun. He could end up watching as Baekhyun got killed instead of watching him take Cobra’s men down one by one.

 

 _"I know,"_ Baekhyun said, snapping Chanyeol out of his thoughts. 

 

He took a deep breath in before gathering his focus again. He wouldn’t allow himself to make a single mistake.

 

"There's someone in the next room, he might not be alone. I’ll watch but might not intervene since I’d have to shoot through the window and the sound would alert everyone else," he said, gaze fixated on said window to watch the shadow move around the slightest bit.

 

 _"Don’t worry, I don’t need your help for now,"_ Baekhyun replied and the next thing he heard was another door opening at the same time as he saw the shadow turn to the left, probably looking at an intruding Baekhyun.

 

That particular window was difficult to look through as it seemed to be really stained by something that blurred everything out but it didn’t keep Chanyeol from listening to Baekhyun move around, a foreign voice saying something as he watched the shadow move as if reaching for something against their waist. Before the man even had the occasion to say or do something, however, Chanyeol heard something rustle before he saw a sharp object, no doubt Baekhyun’s dagger, fly across the room and plant itself right into the man’s chest in the span of a few tiny seconds.

 

The shadow swayed for a second before tilting back as Chanyeol bit into his lower lip, preparing himself for the sound of a body crashing down on the floor to alert everyone else of Baekhyun’s presence in the room. However, before the anxiety could resurface and freeze his blood, Baekhyun ran towards the shadow and seemed to manage to catch it before it hit the floor since the only thing he could hear was the rustling of clothes and the small, muffled sound of something heavy being laid down on the floor.

 

" _Cleared,"_ he heard Baekhyun whisper.

 

He hummed softly, already moving his gaze over to the next window to check if there was anyone which wasn’t the case. There were no shadows behind the window and Chanyeol’s wasn’t even sure whether that was normal or not. There had also been more than a lone man in the room Baekhyun had just went through when he had looked earlier but he supposed they had moved to another room.

 

"The next window I see is bare, there’s no one but I’m not sure it’s an actual room or not," he mumbled, keeping his gaze there as he heard Baekhyun hum quietly in reply.

 

 _"I think it’s just the window in the hallway then,"_ the other replied and it didn’t take Chanyeol long to see Baekhyun’s shadow move right in front of the window, passing it by and glancing at him even if he probably couldn’t even see Chanyeol from where he was because of the distance and the darkness he was hidden in.

 

"It was, I saw you," he informed the other before carefully raking his gaze around as he moved to look at the third and last window on the floor, the broken one on the far left side of the building. 

 

There, he could see three moving bodies, one of which was leaned against the wall right across from the window, the two others seemingly seated down somewhere near the window since Chanyeol could only see the top of their heads. All three of them were turned to the left which could only mean that there was either a fourth person in the room or something to look at in that direction.

 

"I can see three people in the next room, there might be a fourth one," he said when he heard complete silence, an indication that Baekhyun was waiting for his directions.

 

 _"I can handle three but it might be a bit noisy,"_ the other whispered, the line grizzling a little bit with his breath.

 

"The window’s broken, I can take some of them for you without making any noise," he replied. "There’s one standing right in front of the window, I’ll take that one down and the other two are sitting, they’ll probably be surprised for a second so you can use it to your advantage."

 

 _"Alright, take him down when I count down to one, I’ll open the door at the same time,"_ Baekhyun said before waiting for a hum of agreement from Chanyeol and starting to count.

 

While Baekhyun’s voice counted into his ear, Chanyeol aimed properly, making sure that the scope was adjusted to make him shoot right between the guy’s eyebrows. He was unmoving which would be helpful but the man could shift at any moment so Chanyeol made sure to keep his aim right, listening to Baekhyun’s voice as his finger already started tightening around the trigger. As soon as Baekhyun was done counting and his voice was replaced by the click of a door being opened, Chanyeol pulled the trigger, ears invaded by the sound of a gunshot muffled by the silencer he had fixed on his sniper riffle as he watched a clean wound piercing through the man's forehead, blood oozing from the hole almost immediately as the now lifeless body slid down the wall. Without wasting a single second, he trailed his gaze over to the two other men who had shot up on their feet, Baekhyun’s dagger planting into the chest of one of them as the other scrambled for a gun, his lips parting to alert everyone else before Baekhyun silenced him with a punch to the face. Chanyeol caught sight of a hand holding a gun peeking from the corner of the view the window allowed him to have and immediately, he aimed and shot before the trigger could be pulled.

 

That seemed to alert Baekhyun who left his current opponent to take care of the newly wounded man instead, disappearing from the window and leaving Chanyeol to the sight of the man he had been fighting with until now. He seemed wounded in the chest but he wasn’t dead yet so before he could disturb Baekhyun’s fight, Chanyeol aimed and shot the man’s head, watching as the body crumbled down on the floor, joining the other two dead bodies already there and leaving a single opponent in the room. He waited, listening to what he could hear through his earpiece as that was the only way he could keep up with Baekhyun’s fight. His opponent seemed to be rather strong and as the sound of pained groans and bones colliding together reached Chanyeol’s ear, worry churned in his stomach like a storm ready to devour everything on its path. However, it took him only a few seconds to hear the bone-chilling sound of a blade slicing through skin before the characteristic gurgle of someone choking on blood was followed by the muffled thump of a body dropping on the floor.

 

 _"I’m properly warmed up now,"_ Baekhyun’s slightly breathless voice whispered into his ear again and that was enough for Chanyeol to finally be able to take a deep breath in, a soft snort that mixed in both relief and amusement escaping his lips.

 

"Great because there are still people waiting for you downstairs," he replied, dragging his gaze down to the ground floor.

 

The man who was watching the entrance outside was still there, unmoving, gaze still trailing around him but the guy who had been on the window placed on the right side of the door wasn’t there anymore. He trailed his gaze to the other side of the door, looking into the lighted up room to see that the three men were still there, moving and pacing around as if they were getting impatient.

 

_"How many?"_

 

"The guy at the door, three people on the far left room, and I can’t see the fifth guy that was around. He might be in the hallway so you should be careful," he asked, almost pleaded Baekhyun as his heartbeat was growing from steady to slightly more fast-paced. They were nearing the end.

 

 _"I’m going down the stairs, I’ll start with the room of three people,"_ the other informed him, his voice calm and steady against Chanyeol’s ear.

 

"Alright, the window is not broken so I won’t help you unless it’ll be absolutely necessary but I’m going to take down the guard at the entrance of the building. He might hear the fight since he’s near the window," he explained, observing the lighted up room where two of the men were now standing in front of the window, laughing at something together.

 

 _"Alright, only intervene if I ask you to,"_ Baekhyun replied, causing Chanyeol to snort softly.

 

"I’ll intervene if you’re about to get shot in the head," he retorted, earning a barely audible chuckle from Baekhyun, his cue to look away.

 

 _"I’ll wait for you to take him down before going in,"_ the other said in a more serious manner and Chanyeol silently nodded to himself out of habit even if Baekhyun couldn’t see him.

 

He trailed his gaze to the man guarding the entrance, observing him for a bit, he had an earpiece on and if Chanyeol's memory wasn’t playing him tricks, he had seen him around in meetings with Cobra he had attended in the past. It didn’t matter though, and he knew that as soon as this man would be shot, they’d have to act fast because he was probably communicating with Minseok or someone else to inform them about someone arriving or not and if he was silent for too long, the others would only grow suspicious. 

 

It took him only a few seconds to aim right in the middle of the man’s forehead but the latter parted his lips, probably saying something to whoever was listening to him through something similar to the earpiece attached to his own ear. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, at least people wouldn’t be suspicious of his silence directly if not long had passed since they had last communicated with him so Chanyeol waited for a few seconds, making sure that the man’s conversation was done before finally pulling the trigger.

 

"Cleared," he informed Baekhyun once the body dropped on the ground, lifeless. "Be quick, they’ll get suspicious if that man doesn't communicate with them for too long."

 

The only reply Baekhyun gave him was silence as he seemed not to lose even a single second, Chanyeol looking into the right window just in time to see the movements accompanying the characteristic sounds of fighting he could hear through his ear piece. One man already seemed to be down and Baekhyun was left to fight off the remaining two, Chanyeol watching with a finger curled tight against the trigger of his weapon as Baekhyun received a punch to the face before retaliating with a kick to the man’s stomach, pushing him away to free himself for a few seconds during which he sliced the throat of his second opponent open, the body twitching as it fell down. They were being a bit too loud and Chanyeol’s heart was beating even louder as he tried telling himself that it would be okay since there wasn’t much people left in the building anyway.

 

Baekhyun and his opponent moved away from the window just as a groan of pain that he recognized as Baekhyun’s reached his ears, his heart jumping to his throat and preventing air from reaching his lungs for a few seconds as he could only listen, half of him itching to just leave everything behind and run to Baekhyun’s help while the other half of him willed him to stay rational and remain where he was. Fortunately, it all ended a few seconds later, silence screaming into Chanyeol’s ear again, only disturbed by his own erratic heartbeat as his wide eye raked over the window through the scope in search of a sign of life from Baekhyun. 

 

"Baekhyun? Are you okay?" he asked urgently after a few seconds of silence that felt like several lifetimes, a sigh replying to him before finally, he caught a glimpse of Baekhyun through the window.

 

His heart seemed to be the target of all the bullets he had fired earlier all at once as soon as his gaze met the blood staining Baekhyun’s busted lip and the small scratch on the apple of his cheek. Anger and distaste immediately flooded his entire being, washing away every other feeling and pushing him to just join Baekhyun to properly fight by his side but Chanyeol had prepared himself for this and he did his best not to lose the grip he had on himself. Baekhyun would be okay. He had survived until now without any major injury and he was a good fighter. They were reaching the end of the night. They were so close to their goal and he couldn’t ruin everything now so he took a deep breath, Baekhyun’s voice finally whispering into his ear and soothing him the slightest bit.

 

 _"Stop freaking out, I’m okay,"_ the other said, his breathless voice holding slightly amused lilts.

 

"I’m not freaking out," he lied through his teeth. "You can’t even see me."

 

 _"I don’t need to see you to know,"_ was Baekhyun’s reply, the one that warmed Chanyeol’s chest up and loosened the knots in his throat.

 

He chose to change the subject and focus back on the task at hand, wanting everything to end as soon as possible so they could go home and be safe again. 

 

"There probably is one man left around there somewhere," he said, recalling the man who had been looking out of the window near the door earlier.

 

 _"I’m going out of the room,"_ Baekhyun informed him and Chanyeol followed him out with his gaze even if all he could see was the dirty surface of the building now that Baekhyun wasn’t standing in front of the window anymore. _"Here he is,"_ he heard Baekhyun say, snapping his gaze back to the door as soon as he did even if he couldn’t see anything.

 

He could only assume that the other was talking about the last man he had seen earlier and he listened, unable to do anything else but visualize the fight in his head through the sounds that he picked up through Baekhyun’s microphone. There seemed to be only a single opponent which reinforced the possibility of it being the man from earlier and he didn’t seem to be that great since there was no sound of pain coming from Baekhyun. He could only hear knuckles hitting bones and groans coming from an unfamiliar voice that probably belonged to Baekhyun’s opponent before all of it stopped with the muffled thump of something heavy falling on the floor. It didn’t take long for him to figure out that the fight was done and Baekhyun was the winner.

 

 _"Cleared,"_ he heard in his ear, Baekhyun’s slightly breathless voice finding him again even if Chanyeol still couldn’t see anything that was happening beyond the walls of the building.

 

"I don’t think there’s anybody left," Chanyeol said as he found another window to look through, gaze meeting nothing but emptiness and walls. "Are you hurt?"

 

It had been fairly easy and it had taken less than half an hour probably, Chanyeol didn’t want to let his gaze stray away from the building for even a single second so he had no way to actually check the time but he knew it hadn’t taken too long. Baekhyun had went in there alone and as planned, he had taken down every single obstacle encountering his path, some people harder to fight than others even if he had emerged as the ultimate winner until this exact second. Nothing had gone wrong and Chanyeol could feel relief simmering in the pit of his stomach like satisfied and gentle flames that still refused to dim down, worry still fueling them rather well. It wasn’t the end yet, they hadn’t gone through the whole of their plan and Baekhyun was still in there, alone and without him to make sure he was okay.

 

 _"Just a few bruises here and there but nothing as bad as what I gave everyone else."_ Baekhyun’s quiet chuckle was enough for his shoulders to droop a bit in relief. He wasn’t hurt and that was the only thing that mattered for now. _"Still no sight of Minseok?"_

 

"I haven’t seen him until now," Chanyeol hummed, furrowing his eyebrows a bit at that. He had almost forgotten that they were there to locate Minseok and get rid of him, too focused on making sure that Baekhyun was safe. "I’ll check around," he said, waiting for Baekhyun’s hum of approval to move his gaze away.

 

He started by the window on the right of the door, it was still empty and he knew that Baekhyun was probably waiting somewhere around that room, in the hallway. He lingered there for a few seconds to make sure that there was no moving shadow before raking his gaze over the dirty wall, then the door, catching a glimpse of the lifeless body still sprawled in front of the entrance before inspecting the last window of the ground floor, on the far left of the building. Baekhyun had gone through it earlier and had been the only person emerging from there alive which still seemed to be the case since there was no sign of movement at all there, the lights still on but no shadow moving around. 

 

"Maybe he’s just hiding away from the windows out of precaution," he hummed softly, barely registering his own words as he was simply focused on moving his gaze up to the first floor, starting from the left window, the broken one that still opened the way to a dark room that looked haunted, empty and forgotten just like the bodies strewn there by Baekhyun would probably be at the end of the night. "Can I shoot him if I catch a glimpse of him?" he couldn’t help but ask, only half joking.

 

 _"Only if you don’t kill him on the spot,"_ Baekhyun chuckled softly, voice so soft and warm.

 

Silently, he let his gaze slide over the building’s surface to land on the next window, ignoring the slight strain in his shoulders for having stayed in the same position for so long, back bent a bit and eye stuck against the scope mount he used to look into the building. That room was completely still as well, no light illuminating this one either. There was still no trace of Minseok and he wondered if he was hidden in that last room or if the ground floor had another room somewhere else since Baekhyun hadn’t went through the entirety of that floor yet and the elder could very much be hidden somewhere else. He was in the building that was for sure, there wouldn’t be so many guards around if Minseok wasn’t there but Chanyeol only had a vague visualization of the building’s interior and he couldn’t find anyone as long as they were away from the windows. 

 

The last window on the far right of the first floor didn’t reveal anything to him either and he lingered there for a few more seconds since the window was too dirtied up for him to properly see anything and he thought that being extra careful would be the best thing to do. Minseok could’ve simply moved the same way Baekhyun had after all but if that had really been the case then Baekhyun would’ve already been busted and things wouldn’t be so calm and quiet either.

 

"Where are you now?" he asked Baekhyun after making sure that the last room was empty too, trailing his gaze back down to the entrance door since that was where Baekhyun had been earlier even if Chanyeol couldn’t see him.

 

The building was quiet, way too quiet. As much as Chanyeol liked to think that Baekhyun was good enough for this whole plan to go smoothly without a single bump along the way, it was almost entirely impossible for it to be the case. In the worst case, Minseok had probably been communicating with all those guards and now that all of them were silent, he should have suspected something, maybe someone else should’ve gone around to check what was happening if not Minseok himself. However, nothing of that sort was happening, it was silent, the whole building was still and the meeting hour had probably already passed by more than only a few minutes. Minseok should be restless about the whole thing. He should be, maybe at least half as restless as Chanyeol was now starting to feel. 

 

Baekhyun was silent too. Way too silent. He hadn’t heard his voice in a while.

 

"Baekhyun?" he called out again, louder to make sure that the other would hear him properly. "Where are you?" he repeated, snapping his gaze to the window on the right side of the door to find it empty before bouncing back to the door and then to the window on the other opposite side.

 

It was empty. There was nothing. It was silent, entirely silent save for the suddenly loud thundering of Chanyeol’s heart in his ribcage and a strident, shrill sound that he knew was only echoing in his head, a disturbing sound that oddly sounded like an alarm bell screaming at him.

 

He tightening his finger around the trigger of his sniper riffle, bringing his free hand up to his ear, tracing a finger over his earplug, pressing on the tiny button to restart it in case the bluetooth connection had encountered a problem.

 

"Baekhyun, can you hear me?" he asked again, voice even louder, urgency and panic slowly starting to echo around each other in every single word that had just left his lips. 

 

Silence was the only reply he got and he froze for a few seconds, the blood in his veins turning into ice as panic started coursing through his veins, turning every single feeling swirling inside of him into cold winds that twirled around each other, forming harsh and unstoppable storms that took over everything else. He could feel it, each whistle of those winds screaming into his ears, echoing in his head, the ice in his veins snapping and breaking into huge boulders that crashed in the pit of his stomach when he finally heard something through his earpiece. It was nothing but a high pitched grizzle, however, and Chanyeol winced, pain shooting from his ear to his entire head as his hand immediately flied up to rip the earplug away from his ear since the sound didn’t seem to stop on its own.

 

He couldn’t focus on the pain it had caused him, however, unable to pay attention to anything but the cold, sharp panic piercing through his body and mind from all sides as his trembling hands scrambled to get a proper hold of his sniper riffle and he used it to look into the building again. Why had the connection suddenly cut off? What had happened? Was Baekhyun okay? Why hadn’t he replied to anything Chanyeol had said for a while and even then, why had silence been the only thing Chanyeol had heard for a while when he had been able to pick up on each sound Baekhyun’s surroundings made while he was fighting? He didn’t know. He didn’t know at all but he had to find Baekhyun, he had to see him and make sure that he was okay. He quickly raked his gaze all over the building, starting from the ground floor, going through every single window and even the entrance before moving up in a hurry, looking over all three windows on the first floor, disappointment and fear growing inside of him with each passing second, gathering into a sharp blade that dug deeper into his throat with every single second he spent looking for Baekhyun and not finding him. 

 

In a last desperate attempt, he looked towards the fire escape, the stairs Baekhyun had first taken to go into the building since they agreed on Baekhyun getting out through there if anything bad happened and he had to leave in order to survive. However, it was empty, there was not a single moving soul and Chanyeol listened, he listened with his bare ears but there was nothing. Nothing. Nothing but the sounds of the night, the wind, the faint sound of cars passing by the livelier neighborhood that was close to where they were. There was no hint of a fight, no scream, no curse, nothing that sounded like Baekhyun’s voice calling for help and yet, Chanyeol could feel it somewhere deep inside of himself, the urgency, and the regret.

 

Baekhyun would never get out of there. He would never give up on a fight. He hated running away and he’d rather lose and die with dignity that run away like a weakling. They had done that so many times before and Baekhyun hated it. He hated it. Chanyeol hated this. He should’ve went in with Baekhyun, he should’ve insisted. He should’ve fought harder and imposed his opinion, he should’ve forced Baekhyun to listen to him. He should’ve never let the other go in there alone. He looked over the whole building in a hurry, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of Baekhyun, anything, even if it was something that he’d hate seeing, he just needed to see the other and decide on what he should do. He dragged his gaze down to the ground floor again, zeroing in on the window on the far right of the building, the one looking into the room that Baekhyun hadn’t went in yet, the one that hadn’t shown anything but emptiness to Chanyeol until only a few seconds ago.

 

But it wasn’t empty anymore.

 

It wasn’t empty and it wasn’t silent around Chanyeol anymore. 

 

It wasn’t empty and the silence was chased away by the loud siren wailing inside of Chanyeol’s head, growing louder the longer he looked into that room.

 

It wasn’t empty.

 


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

Chanyeol’s eyes widened as his gaze landed on the sight offered to him, that sole image digging into his chest and piercing his lungs, cutting his breath off as if fear had personally found him and had decided to the suck the life out of him on its own.

 

There, he could finally catch a glimpse of Baekhyun. He could finally meet the other’s eyes, they still sparkled even from such a huge distance and even if Chanyeol was only looking at him through the scope of his weapon. He was there, meeting Chanyeol’s gaze as if he knew exactly where to look. He wasn’t trembling. There was no trace of fear in his dark orbs. Only reassurance and confidence, as if he knew what he was doing, as if he was still alone there and in control of everything, as if he had walked into this situation the same way he had walked into this same building, alone and sure that he would get out of there at the end.

 

However, he wasn’t alone.

 

An arm was curled around his waist, tight, comfortable, like a cobra curling around its victim and squeezing as hard as possible just for its own entertainment when it didn’t want to simply jump in and inject its poison into the prey. Another arm kept Baekhyun still, crossing over his chest, the hand attached to it holding a knife against the other’s neck, the blade digging into the skin hiding his jugular away from sight. Chanyeol felt the same blade digging into his heart, piercing, pushing, breaking, and slicing his whole soul away, fear settling in like poison coating that imaginary blade.

 

He looked up, a little bit, moving a single inch up to catch the man’s identity even if he _knew_. He knew and yet, when he could only see dark strands of hair falling over a forehead, black, inky, soft, and silky like the deadliest of poisons, he felt his own breath turning into steel and ice in his lungs, heavy, uncomfortable, and painful. The man moved a little bit to the side, sliding away from where he was hiding right behind Baekhyun to reveal the corner of a painfully familiar crooked smile and one eye, the other half of his face remaining hidden behind Baekhyun’s head as they were the same height.

 

However, Chanyeol didn't need to see Minseok’s whole face to recognize the sly glint of madness in his dark orbs, shadows threateningly swirling in his one eye, devouring every ounce of light that could’ve been in there to leave room for nothing but a faint shadow of satisfaction, a thick coat of madness that seemed to rustle in his eyes the same way the wind would trash around between the curtain of leaves covering the moon away from the sight of a lone wanderer trapped between the trees, in the darkness of a merciless forest. His smile was plain, pure, but nothing akin to innocent or kind. It had never been. It had always been icy, empty, quiet, and heavy on Minseok’s lips but today, it seemed to carry even more of a sadistic edge, as if he could finally unleash that side of him now that there was nothing and no one holding him back, including himself.

 

Chanyeol remained frozen only for a few seconds but every single one of them felt like a lifetime and he could distinctly hear each beat of his heart, the rhythm increasing rapidly, like an alarm warning him of an imminent danger that was now close enough to press a blade against his neck, against _Baekhyun’s_ neck.

 

What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t shoot Minseok when the other probably was expecting that to happen and was hiding behind Baekhyun very precisely, not leaving a single inch of him out to Chanyeol’s sight expect for part of his face. He couldn’t shoot, not when Minseok could use Baekhyun as a shield and not even Chanyeol’s precision skills would help him at the moment.

 

Every single inch of him was yearning to jump out of this window and join Baekhyun to free him from Minseok’s claws but he distinctly remembered Baekhyun’s words and his warning not to do anything unless he was asked to. However, that didn’t matter at this moment and Chanyeol wanted to run out of this building this exact second but at the same time he didn’t want to leave only for Minseok to slice Baekhyun’s throat open as soon as Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to see them anymore. He had feared this would happen. He had warned Baekhyun. He had told him that it would take Chanyeol a while to reach the building from where he was stationed. He had told him that this would be dangerous and what he had feared the most was happening at this exact moment.

 

Before he had the time to dwell on everything that was going through his head, Minseok caught his attention again, his dark gaze boring into Chanyeol’s puzzled one as he raised the hand that was holding onto Baekhyun’s hips up and with a twitch of his fingers, called to Chanyeol in a beckoning motion that asked him to come closer. He knew what the other was asking him to do, however. He was asking, demanding Chanyeol to go there and, judging by the way Chanyeol caught the tip of his blade digging into Baekhyun’s neck and drawing a little drop of blood, he wasn’t leaving him the choice.

 

The whole situation sent Chanyeol into puzzlement as it would be so easy for Minseok to simply slice Baekhyun’s throat open there and then kill Chanyeol afterwards, run after him, chase him and end everything once and for all. That wasn’t what the elder was doing, however, and the unsettlingly chilling smile twisting his features into a sly grimace simply told Chanyeol that whatever he was going to do to Baekhyun, he wanted Chanyeol to be able to see it from a closer distance. Or maybe the satisfaction spread all over his features was just an indication that this was a mere challenge, maybe he was asking Chanyeol to come quickly if he didn’t want that drop of blood to be the first part of a scarlet sea flowing out of Baekhyun, pouring his life away. Either way, Chanyeol couldn’t waste time on trying to figure out the intentions of someone he’d never be able to understand.

 

He would do it. He would go there and he would do everything he could to make sure that no harm would touch Baekhyun.

 

He glanced a last time at the latter, to make sure that he was okay but found himself dragged further down into a pool of confusion he hadn’t been trapped in for a while instead. Baekhyun was a strong person and he was brave enough to rarely ever feel anything even close to fear even when faced with the worst situation but now, as he looked at Chanyeol with the hint of a smile, one that Minseok probably couldn’t see, Chanyeol wasn’t able to understand him either. There was no trace of pain on Baekhyun’s features, nothing but confidence in his eyes and only when he gave Chanyeol a slight nod of his head did the latter finally understand everything. He had mentioned a sign earlier, he had told Chanyeol to move and join him only after he would be given the signal to do so and this very much looked like the signal he had been talking about. It didn’t make sense though, how would Baekhyun have known that Minseok would be able to find him and call Chanyeol to him? It was as if he had planned everything to come to this point and as if even now, with a blade digging into his neck, he was still in control of the situation.

 

And maybe he was. Maybe he had known that all of this would happen. Maybe he had wanted all of this to happen and maybe this was the occasion he was taking advantage of in order to be able to bring Chanyeol to his side so they could fight together. It didn’t matter, it didn’t matter because whatever Baekhyun was planning to do, Chanyeol was sure that _his_ only aim in all of this was to make sure that Baekhyun would be alive by the end of this night and he would do everything in his power to fulfill that sole aim.

 

Therefore, with a last glance at Minseok’s sinister and cruel smirk, he dropped everything, pulling away from his sniper riffle, carelessly letting the earpiece he had been holding in one hand drop to the floor before shooting up to his feet properly and straightening his back, his long legs carrying him out of the building without wasting another second. He almost fell a few times while running down the stairs, rushing and making sure to move as quickly as he could because knowing Minseok, it wouldn’t be unexpected of him to be counting in his head and digging that knife further into Baekhyun’s skin with each passing second. Knowing Baekhyun, he wouldn’t let that happen and it would be fairly easy for him to free himself from the other’s hold but he wouldn’t do it and Chanyeol was slowly losing his mind but all of that didn’t matter.

 

As predicted, it did take Chanyeol a while to reach the warehouse and with every rushed step he took forward, millions of new thoughts crashed around in his skull, confusing him, trying to distract him and scare him. Why hadn’t Baekhyun been more careful? How hadn’t he seen Minseok approach him? Why was he so calm about this whole ordeal? Had he done it on purpose? It could be a smart move, one that allowed Chanyeol to slip into the building without alarming Minseok with his new presence since the latter was aware of it already but that didn’t change the fact that it was also a stupid move. It didn’t matter. Nothing but Baekhyun’s safety mattered at the moment and with the strong wind painfully slapping him in the face as he ran towards the warehouse, Chanyeol felt ready to take on a pain that could be a thousand times stronger than anything he had ever felt if it meant that Baekhyun would be safe.

 

As soon as he reached the door, he kicked it open, running into the building without wasting more time and immediately going to the right, heading to the side he had last seen Minseok and Baekhyun in. There was only two doors in that hallway, one that probably led to a storage closet and one that hopefully led to where Minseok was holding Baekhyun hostage. He threw the door open, stepping in and immediately freezing as soon as his gaze landed on what he had been looking at from his spot in the building across the warehouse in the last few seconds that had felt like several lifetimes stealing parts of his soul away one by one.

 

Minseok was still holding onto Baekhyun with the same bone-chilling and crazed curl on his lips and Baekhyun was still completely still in his hold, not moving a single inch since the blade pressed against his neck seemed sharp enough to slice through him with a single brush. In spite of the danger he was shrouded in, Baekhyun still didn’t look frightened, there was no sign of fear in his eyes, nothing but confidence and maybe a bit of relief as if he had half expected Chanyeol not to be able to make it there in one piece. His eyes dived into Chanyeol’s, offering him nothing but a pool of calm and confidence, something that was so different from the flames of doubt and fear Chanyeol could feel all around him, inside of him, in the deepest part of his soul that was starting to shrink away, just like his sanity.

 

The room was empty, Chanyeol had thrown a glance around while entering and that had been enough for him to see that there was no one but the three of them there, nothing but a single door on his left either, and yet he felt suffocated, moonlight pouring into the room and lightening everything up for him the slightest bit since there was no other source of light in the room. His gaze snapped away from Baekhyun, landing on Minseok’s face instead, half of it still concealed behind Baekhyun but the visible half enough for Chanyeol to pick up on every single dust of cruelness, every single trace of sadistic pleasure, and each glint of greed emanating from frozen spikes splattered all over the ghostly pale skin of his face. There wasn’t much to read on Minseok’s face, there was nothing much to help Chanyeol understand him, and there had never been anything of that sort in the ten years he had spent by the elder’s side. It had always been this way. Minseok had always been a ghost, trailing behind its owner, whispering things into his ear maybe, and patiently waiting for the right moment to strike and take his life away and make it his instead.

 

That was exactly what Minseok had done to Junmyeon and now, as fear, panic, dread, and rage all fueled the flames devouring Chanyeol’s soul away, he couldn’t help but look at Minseok and see the ghost of Junmyeon. Maybe Minseok was worse than Junmyeon, maybe Junmyeon had been worse than Minseok, maybe they were on an equal level, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing but Baekhyun’s safety and Chanyeol could feel his fingers twitching, his whole body yearning to do something but there was nothing he could do, not when Minseok used his blade better than anyone Chanyeol had ever met and he was holding it against Baekhyun’s neck, of all people. A single mistake could cost Chanyeol’s life through Baekhyun’s death.

 

It was eerily silent for a few seconds during which they sized each other up, even Baekhyun not uttering a single word, until Minseok’s thunderingly quiet voice snapped the heavy silence into two and discarded it away with words as sharp as his blades.

 

"You thought you could fool me, Chanyeol? You thought _you_ , of all people, could fool me?" he muttered, words loud and clear even if they seemed to be muttered behind a thick and unbreakable wall of darkness. 

 

Chanyeol felt a shiver crawl down his back, like an ugly creature whose nails were scratching each and every bump of his spine. While Junmyeon’s voice on his last day had been painful to his heart like a snake injecting its venom right into the weak muscle and letting it pump through his whole body to kill him from the inside, Minseok’s voice was sharp and quiet, it wheezed through the air without a single pause, and didn’t miss its target. Minseok’s voice was like a shard of ice sharpened into a blade after years of crafting, the wintery cold piercing right through his heart, slicing it into two, and chilling every inch of his body on the way. The chilling cold wasn’t born from a feeling of betrayal and hatred coming from Chanyeol like it had been the case for Junmyeon, however. The blade was pushing fear right into Chanyeol’s body, carving it over his heart and freezing him all over.

 

His gaze continuously jumped between the blade pressed against Baekhyun’s neck, the latter’s eyes, and Minseok’s blood-curling smirk that looked nothing less than a grimace. He took a deep breath in, forcing air into his lungs even if he could see that Baekhyun was barely even breathing as if he knew that a single movement would be enough for Minseok to let the life bleed out of him without hesitation. 

 

"Let him go," was the only thing Chanyeol said, chest heaving, heart pounding, and voice loud and clear, stern and steady despite the fire storms exploding all over his body, mind, and soul.

 

"I taught you everything you know, Chanyeol. I know exactly how you operate," Minseok continued, ignoring Chanyeol and suddenly, the latter realized that he liked the other much more when he pronounced no more than three words a day to him.

 

"In that case, you also know that you should let him go if you don’t want anything to happen to you," he hissed through gritted teeth, blood boiling in his veins the more he realized that despite everything he could say, Minseok was the stronger one between the two of them as long as he had Baekhyun in his lethal embrace.

 

"I know a lot of things," the other hummed and there was still no trace of emotion in his voice despite the satisfaction in his eyes. It was emotionless, cold, and that was maybe the worst thing about all of this. Minseok felt nothing. People who felt nothing would never regret anything. "I also know that it was stupid of you to think that I wouldn’t keep an eye on every single member of Cobra when I know very well how easy it is to betray someone."

 

Before Chanyeol even had the occasion to say anything, as if on cue, the only other door in the room, right on his left, opened and the breath was once again sucked out of him at the sight that greeted him.

 

It had been a while since he had last seen him but Jongdae hadn’t changed at all, the corners of his lips were still permanently upturned, his hair was still unruly and Chanyeol could still see the bump of the lighter he always carried around in his pocket through the fabric of his tight, skinny jeans. The only difference now was that Jongdae’s eyes weren’t filled with amusement as they bored into Chanyeol’s for a split second, he wasn’t looking around with an amused or snarky smile either. He wasn’t even directly looking into Chanyeol’s eyes, he had turned his gaze away as soon as their eyes had met for a bit. He looked a bit worn out, maybe a bit emotionless and Chanyeol couldn’t help but wonder if that was the effect Minseok had on everyone he spent too much time with. However, if Chanyeol had still had the tiny hope of Jongdae staying out of all of this since he had almost disappeared ever since the day Junmyeon had tried to set Baekhyun up while using Chanyeol for it, now, there was no doubt that Jongdae had chosen his side.

 

Ignoring the pang of pain hitting his heart, Chanyeol trailed his gaze down to what, or rather who Jongdae was holding before the body crashed on the floor as soon as he let go of it, obviously lifeless as it rolled on the floor a bit until it finally stopped a few steps away from his feet. It was obviously a man but despite the fact that the body laid on its back, facing skywards, it was impossible for Chanyeol to recognize it with the state it was in. His gaze trailed over the burned off, almost melted skin of the man’s face and he felt his stomach churning with nausea at the sight, figuring that it was Jongdae’s doings since only he would torture someone that way. Knowing him, he had probably shoved the man’s face into any kind of boiling liquid which resulted in the state his face was in and when he inspected the body a bit more, he noted that the middle finger was missing from the dead man’s right hand, Jongdae’s trademark.

 

When he allied this with Minseok’s words about betrayal, it wasn’t difficult for Chanyeol to end up figuring out the body’s identity.

 

It could be no one but Joohyuk and judging by the state he was in, he had done his best not to give them away but he could only take so much pain and maybe he had just confessed everything after that one missing finger and Jongdae had simply continued out of amusement or frustration. Joohyuk had contacted them last night and he wasn’t even sure whether that had really been him or not anymore, maybe Minseok had been planning all of this all along and had calmly waited for them to show up tonight, watching every single one of Baekhyun’s moves and sacrificing the men he had just lost simply for his own amusement. Maybe they had tortured Joohyuk in the next room and had gotten an answer out of him only a few minutes ago. He didn’t know, he didn’t want to imagine it and he didn’t even feel any kind of remorse concerning the suffering the other had been through. He only felt incredibly angry and stupid because this was bound to happen and they should’ve avoided it. He had known Joohyuk would eventually cause them trouble and he had warned Baekhyun. Now wasn’t the right moment to find anyone to blame, however, not when they both could’ve handled things better and the only thing Chanyeol could do was look back at Minseok, trembling fingers curled into tight fists at his side as he didn’t know what to do for the first time in a while. 

 

His gaze kept drifting between Minseok’s emotionless gaze and Baekhyun’s calm one, still having no clue about what was going through the latter’s head and why the hell he was so calm about all of this. How could he be so calm when Chanyeol could feel beads of sweat rolling down his spine like frozen drops of fear, distress churning in his stomach and panic squeezing his lungs between its claws, rendering him unable to breathe properly as all kinds of thoughts buzzed through his mind, loud and dangerous.

 

"It was a great move from you two though," Minseok broke the silence again, his words wrapping all around Chanyeol’s neck, seeping into his throat the same way the hard and icy wind always found a way to seep beneath thick layers of clothing on a winter night. "At least you’re finally out of your rat hole and I can make sure that you’ll never get out of this place, right?" he asked, dragging his gaze towards Baekhyun instead as he seemed to press the blade a little more against his neck.

 

He saw Baekhyun’s eye twitch a bit and that was enough for Chanyeol to feel something snapping in him, panic and fear flowing through his veins faster than anything else as he took a step forward, words leaving his mouth in panic.

 

"Wait!" he called out, pulling Minseok’s gaze back to him. It was cold. Emotionless. Black like burned steel, dirtied snow, and empty, silent rooms. Minseok wasn’t Junmyeon. He wouldn’t hesitate. He had no weakness. He would take both his and Baekhyun’s life away in the blink of an eye and go on with his life as if nothing had happened.

 

He couldn’t allow that to happen. Chanyeol couldn’t allow him to harm Baekhyun. He couldn’t let anything happen to Baekhyun. Not to the sweet, beautiful, fragile, and weak Baekhyun from his past. Not to the strong, brave, fearless, and lethal Baekhyun he had held in his arms every night for the past few weeks. 

 

He couldn’t let anything happen to Baekhyun, that would destroy him. 

 

"Just let him go," he asked, demanded, pleaded. He felt Baekhyun’s gaze on him but couldn’t look at him, not when he hated letting the other see him so pathetic. "I’ll give you what you want, just let him go."

 

That was the only thing he could do. There was nothing else he could do when both Jongdae and Minseok were in this room and he knew they were both as good as him, good enough for Chanyeol to know this wasn’t a fight he was sure of winning. He couldn’t, not when it would take a single second for Minseok to slice through Baekhyun’s neck and snatch him away from Chanyeol until the end of time.

 

It was pathetic and there was nothing Chanyeol could do but play by Minseok’s rules. Had he been alone in this room against the two of them, he wouldn’t have hesitated to pull out the gun that he could still feel tucked into the waistband of his jeans, he would’ve fought even if he would’ve lost his life by the end of it but he couldn’t do that when Baekhyun’s life was much more precious than his own in his eyes.

 

"I want you to die so I can claim my rightful title as Cobra’s one and only leader," was the only thing Minseok stated, voice steady as his empty eyes bored into Chanyeol’s. Straight to the point, without sugar coating, just like Chanyeol would’ve expected from the elder.

 

He hated it so much. He hated all of this. He hated Junmyeon and Minseok and this life he had been forced into when he was nothing but a child seeking a home and the way pulling the trigger from afar was a natural skill of his and most of all, he hated Cobra with every single inch of his wounded soul.

 

"After killing so many people for Cobra, you’re not going to stop?" he couldn’t help but spit out, something in him finally snapping.

 

Cobra. Cobra. _Cobra._ It was always Cobra. Chanyeol wouldn’t choose Cobra over Baekhyun the way both Minseok and Junmyeon had chosen it over anything else, even their own emotions.

 

"Not until I get what I want."

 

Minseok’s reply was like a cold, merciless slap to the face and it was the last thing Chanyeol needed to hear to make up his mind.

 

"Fine!" Chanyeol’s voice boomed through the room, each note of panic echoing against the bare walls. "We’ll leave, we’ll go far away and I’ll let you have whatever the fuck you want. Just let him go, Minseok."

 

Silence settled over the room for a few seconds after his voice died down and Chanyeol stubbornly avoided looking at Baekhyun, keeping his gaze stuck on Minseok because he didn’t want to see the disappointment in Baekhyun’s gaze. He had promised the other that he was going to fight until the end, that he would never be scared and he was breaking that promise but he had no choice. Chanyeol would let his dignity bleed out on the floor if it meant Baekhyun would keep breathing around him.

 

Then, a small note of vicious amusement resonated in the room, a quiet, tiny one that could only drop out of Minseok, one that sent shivers down his spine.

 

"You give up so easily. If Jongin would’ve listened to me and stopped shoving his nose into places it had nothing to do in, maybe I wouldn’t have had to tell Junmyeon that getting rid of him would be the smartest thing to do."

 

Emotions had finally seeped into Minseok’s voice after all this time, some of his words echoing with amusement, mockery, and a vicious hint of pleasure as he took in Chanyeol’s reaction to what he had just said.

 

Chanyeol felt his heart freezing in his ribcage at the mention of his late best friend and that was enough for the panicked flames in him to grow even wilder, twirling around his soul, burning it up and boiling the blood in his veins. It had been Minseok’s doing. Junmyeon had been the one to pull the trigger but Minseok had been the one to advise him to do so. Minseok had taken part in killing Jongin and he was about to do the same thing to Baekhyun and Chanyeol would never allow that to happen.

 

Suddenly, he felt rage take over him and in a split second, his hand shot up to the weapon tucked against his waist but as soon as his fingers had retrieved it from its hidden spot, before he even had the occasion to aim properly, he saw Baekhyun move at once. He threw his head back, using the split second during which Minseok was distracted by the vicious pleasure brought to him by Chanyeol’s pain to hit the other’s face with the back of his head. Chanyeol felt his heart stopping when Minseok had no choice but to let go of his grip on Baekhyun in surprise before getting a grip of himself in the blink of an eye and shoving his dagger forward, the blade slicing through Baekhyun’s shoulder as the latter had been quick enough to avoid a fatal blow but slow enough to still receive a wound.

 

Everything suddenly took a different turn and the fear and worry in Chanyeol seemed to vanish into thin air now that Baekhyun wasn’t held against a sharp blade, the rage and thirst for revenge taking over at once, in the split second it took for a dry forest to vanish into ashes on a scorching hot summer afternoon. Chanyeol could feel the flames suffocating him, closing in on him, and burning his soul away bit by bit as he watched Baekhyun attempting to throw a punch at Minseok before the latter managed to get a grip of himself and caught his fist, stopping him and swinging his dagger forward. A high pitched, loud siren echoed in Chanyeol’s head, pushing him to run to Baekhyun’s help but as soon as he took a step forward and finally pulled his gun out to start aiming, he felt something heavy crash against his side, throwing him down and causing him to lose his grip on the gun that flew away from him as he crashed on the floor, something heavy settling on him.

 

He looked up, surprise and confusion swept away by rage and betrayal when his gaze met Jongdae’s emotionless one. The sight somehow sent a pang to his chest, Jongdae had never looked at anyone with those empty eyes, but before he even had the time to dwell on that, he realized that the other wasn’t there just to distract him. He was there to fight Chanyeol and prevent him from helping Baekhyun in his own fight, something that became obvious as soon as his curled fist flew towards Chanyeol’s face.

 

Before the other’s small yet heavy fist managed to land on his nose, Chanyeol shifted a bit, moving his head to let the other’s knuckles only graze his ear and land on the ground as he moved suddenly with his whole body, intending to throw Jongdae off balance. It wasn't difficult to do since the other was small and rather light and Chanyeol had always been more built than he was so he poured his whole strength into moving and bucked his hips up, turning to throw the other off him but still receiving a punch to the face as he did so since Jongdae was small but really quick in his movements. Chanyeol managed to throw him off however, and as soon as he could free himself from the other’s grip, he scrambled away, sharp eyes locking in on him to watch his every move as he put some distance between them. Pain spread through his nose after the hit he had received but Chanyeol couldn’t even focus on it when the fact that Jongdae had been the one to punch him was much more painful than any other kind of physical wound. 

 

He had a second to spare as Jongdae was busy getting back on his two feet and he sacrificed it to look over his shoulder, gaze finding Baekhyun who was busy fighting Minseok off only a few feet away from him. They were both strong fighters and Minseok was still holding onto his dagger but Baekhyun seemed to manage for now since Minseok’s nose was bleeding and there was no sign of emotion on his face but Chanyeol could recognize the bestial thirst shining in his eyes as he never once glanced away from Baekhyun who seemed to be holding onto something as well as he fought his opponent. Chanyeol didn’t manage to catch on to the details, however, because Jongdae had used his split second of distraction to strike him again, this time with a kick to the stomach that threw him back a little before he gathered his focus back and grabbed onto the other’s ankle before he could pull his foot away, holding him down and swinging him away which ended up being useless since Jongdae only used the momentum to bounce back on his feet and crash his fist against Chanyeol’s jaw. Ignoring the pain, Chanyeol took the occasion to grab the other’s wrist, gripping it tightly to keep the other in place as he used his other hand to land a punch on Jongdae’s face, the latter staggering backwards with the strength of it. 

 

Chanyeol was slightly breathless as he watched Jongdae bring a hand up to to wipe his now busted lip with the back of it, a trail of blood staining his skin as his gaze bore into Chanyeol’s, still carrying that steel of curtain that kept any kind of emotion hidden away from him. He hated it. He could almost sense that Jongdae hated it too, he could tell so by the way the corners of his lips were turned down when usually, he would have a smile on his face even in his angriest moments. Jongdae hated this. Deep down, he probably hated turning against the person he had been loyal to for years but it wasn’t difficult to see that his loyalty for Minseok was greater than what he felt towards Chanyeol. He hated it. Chanyeol hated the person Jongdae had turned into only after a few weeks spent by Minseok’s side and he hated the fact that he was now fighting Chanyeol only because Minseok had probably told him to. He hated having to fight yet another person he had considered as a brother for years and it was difficult because as much as Chanyeol liked to think that everything he had gone through had hardened him and helped him get rid of his stupid emotions, it wasn’t the case and it would never be. Somewhere deep inside of him, Chanyeol still cared for Jongdae, the person who had always been there to make him laugh with his stupid jokes at the end of a bad day, the one who seemed to be much older than him despite being born only a year earlier than Chanyeol was, the friend who always could brighten a whole room with his weird conversations, his wide, sometimes creepy smile, and his raunchy flirting methods that no one was ever spared of.

 

"Jongdae," he couldn’t help but call out, breathless, helpless, and unwilling to watch yet another part of his life go down in the flames that he would have awakened himself. "You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to side with Minseok."

 

He was pulled out of his own weak thoughts and hopes when Jongdae launched himself at him again, ignoring his words in favor of showering him with a series of punches, one fist attempting to crash against Chanyeol’s cheek before he stopped it, protecting himself with his forearms only for Jongdae’s other hand to fly towards his jaw through an opening in his defensive stance, once again stopped at the last moment by Chanyeol’s hand as he grabbed it. Another punch followed and Chanyeol avoided that one by stepping back, his ears picking up on a groan of pain coming from somewhere behind him before his attention was called back by the kick Jongdae tried landing against his neck only for Chanyeol to duck down and avoid it again.

 

He had never seen Jongdae actually fight. This was the first time he was witnessing the other’s skills in hand combat since Jongdae never actually went into the field unless it was to catch a target and bring them to wherever he takes all his victims to torture them without anyone hearing any scream of agony. Therefore, he was surprised to see that Jongdae was actually good at this and he almost had a hard time keeping up with him since not only did the other have great skills but he was also small and quick, something that could always be used as an advantage, especially against someone as tall as Chanyeol who had more strength than agility.

 

However, Baekhyun’s life was at stake and the faster Chanyeol would be able to either defeat Jongdae or convince him to side with them, the faster he’d be able to help him fight against Minseok. He forced himself not to pay attention to the fight unfolding behind him, closing his ears and his eyes off to everything that didn’t directly concern his own opponent, Jongdae.

 

The other was launching another punch at him, one that Chanyeol intercepted with his own hands and held onto, twisting the smaller’s arm behind his back and turning him around by the same occasion, pulling on his limb until he knew a single movement would be enough to dislocate his shoulder and a groan of pain reached his ears. It might take a while for Chanyeol to actually get into a fight properly but that didn’t change the fact that he was good at this, more than just good, and now that Jongdae was unable to move if he didn’t want to hurt himself, Chanyeol took the occasion to attempt talking to him.

 

"Jongin was killed because of Minseok, Jongdae! How can you side with him?" he had the occasion to mutter amidst the effort of holding the other locked in place, words thrown out between gritted teeth and despair and anger swirling in his voice as he leaned down to speak right into Jongdae’s ear to make sure that the latter would hear him.

 

However, the other took the occasion to throw his head back, the back of it colliding with Chanyeol’s chin, pain distracting him for a few seconds that Jongdae used the free himself from his hold and turn around to throw a kick against Chanyeol’s calf, breaking his balance for a few seconds. The taller put his whole weight onto his other leg, however, managing to stay on his two feet and finally gathering the will to retaliate by curling his hand into a tight fist that crashed against Jongdae’s face when the other tried striking him with a punch of his own. Chanyeol felt pain spreading through his own body as his knuckles crashed against his old friend’s nose but he ignored it, giving his all to a fight he didn’t want to take part in and landing another punch to Jongdae’s face when the latter was destabilized for a few seconds. It threw him back and without wasting another second, Chanyeol threw his leg up, the sole of his combat boots digging into Jongdae’s chest and pushing him to stumble back and lose his balance, his body crashing down on the floor.

 

He could hear voice closer to him now and a glance to his left was enough to catch sight of Baekhyun and Minseok fighting still as fiercely as earlier, bruises scattered over the elder’s face, blood staining his upper lip and a cut trailing over his cheek, one that looked nasty and deep enough to probably leave a scar later on. He seemed to be moving slower than earlier, however, as if he was tired, which was surprising until Chanyeol managed to catch sight of the blood on his left leg, a wound opened up there, a difficulty for him to move but a major advantage to Baekhyun. The latter wasn’t in any better shape, however, blood was still oozing from the wound on his shoulder that he got when freeing himself from Minseok’s hold earlier and there seemed to be another wound around his ribs since blood was oozing from there as well and pain was plastered over his features. He had the upper hand for now though, because there was a dagger in his hands, one that he hadn’t been holding when Chanyeol had barged into the room earlier to see him trapped in Minseok’s hold which meant that he had kept it hidden underneath his clothes until now since it also looked different from the knife he had been using when infiltrating the building. It looked like an effective, sharp weapon against Minseok who held nothing between his fingers anymore, only using his fists to fight and maybe, just maybe they would be able to get out of this place alive by the end of the night.

 

He didn’t linger on it, however, and quickly turned his attention back to Jongdae who was still on the floor but was trying to get up despite the frown on his face, an obvious sign of pain or possibly dizziness. Jongdae wasn’t used to this kind of fight, after all, and his stamina might be lesser than Chanyeol’s. The latter let his long legs take him towards Jongdae without wasting more time and a few seconds later, he was settled down on his opponent’s smaller body, putting his whole weight onto it as he locked Jongdae’s hips between his thighs, anger and rage crashing inside his chest like the angry flames of a fire revived after hours of struggle to tame it down. He hated this, his chest was heaving with regret as his fierce glare bored into Jongdae’s still forcefully blank eyes. 

 

Jongdae wasn’t this kind of person. He had never been the kind of person to blindly follow orders, he had always been the only one to openly question some of Junmyeon’s decisions even if he knew when to speak and when to put an end to his tasteless jokes. He had always been the one to breach any kind of topic they all tried avoiding during meetings, both casual or work-related ones. He had always been the bravest one of Venom’s assassins, the one suggesting things no one had the guts to bring up, the one who always arrived late to meetings despite Junmyeon scolding him about it everyday because he didn’t like to be tied down by rules and he wanted his freedom, no matter how little it might be. Jongdae never followed stupid orders blindly, he was never greedy, never heartless to the people he cared about and Chanyeol knew he cared about them because if Minseok and Junmyeon’s betrayal could be understandable at some point, Jongdae was so, so different from them. Jongdae wasn’t a power-thirsty monster, he wasn’t the kind to sacrifice his friends for his own benefit and he might have been with Venom for a bit less than five years, much less than Chanyeol or even Jongin, but he had been the most loyal of its members after Jongin.

 

Jongdae had grown with them, he had grown with Chanyeol, had always laughed around with him whenever the training was too difficult or Minseok was too harsh with his words, he had always  been there to take Jongin’s hands into his and gently massage his fingers after the younger spent hours typing away on his computer because he wanted to be the best hacker this city would have to offer. Jongdae was a bit scary, he was a bit odd, his jokes sometimes offended Chanyeol and he used to scare Jongin on purpose a little bit when they were younger with crude descriptions of what he liked doing to his victims but he cared. Chanyeol knew he cared and he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand how Jongdae had managed to reach this point.

 

He wanted to understand. Had everything been a lie? Had Minseok taken Jongdae into his schemes a long time ago as well? Had everything they had lived been a huge, ugly lie? He needed to know. Chanyeol needed to know and he didn’t believe in the emptiness in Jongdae’s eyes. He knew amused sparkles were hidden there, he knew emotions were hidden somewhere in there because Jongdae wasn’t heartless and he was a friend, a brother. He knew this wasn’t Jongdae. This wasn’t what he wanted and he needed to understand and pull Jongdae up to his senses again and when his fist crashed against the other’s face again, out of pure rage and pushed by the agony Chanyeol could feel wrenching his soul apart, he didn’t stop himself. 

 

He didn’t stop himself, landing another punch, and another, and another, watching as Jongdae’s eyes remained emotionless, his heart burning as the other didn't even try stopping him anymore, simply laying there and taking each and every punch that Chanyeol threw at him but felt in his own chest instead. After a few seconds, when there was still no sign of reaction from the other, Chanyeol finally stopped, breathless, eyes stinging in rage and sadness and betrayal and anger, each of those emotions shoving spikes into his heart, crafting a knot in his throat, and filling his lungs with boiling water. He could hear Baekhyun and Minseok fighting next to them, a few feet away and he yearned to turn and look, look and help, but he didn’t because that was Baekhyun’s battle and Jongdae was Chanyeol’s, a battle he wanted to emerge out of as a winner but with an ally by his side and not another death added to his long collection. 

 

His knuckles were a bit sore, Jongdae’s features were bloodied, his eyebrow dripping blood, the apple of his cheek reddened and scratched, a scarlet trail flowing down his nose, and his lower lip was busted. He ignored it. Chanyeol ignored all of that because the only thing he could see was the lack of emotion in the other’s gaze and his hands curled into fists against but this time, they were gripping the collar of Jongdae’s shirt, his reddened knuckles stinging, fading into white and red as he gripped the other tightly, lifting his upper body off the floor a little bit, shaking him slightly as his sorrowful and angry glare bored into Jongdae’s black, void eyes.

 

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, voice barely audible, breaking a bit, each word stumbling down his lips and landing on Jongdae who blinked once, twice, as if Chanyeol’s words were small crumbles landing on his face and he tried blinking them away. "Didn’t Jongin matter to you? Don’t I matter? Didn’t you ever care?" he asked, voicing every thought out, hoping desperately that it would reach the Jongdae that was hidden deep down the lifeless eyes he was looking into, the Jongdae that he _knew._ "We’ve been through so many things together. We’re brothers. Is it that easy for you to turn against me?"

 

Silence was the only answer Jongdae seemed to be willing to give him and as soon as the last question had left Chanyeol’s mouth, he glanced away, avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes but remaining unmoving as if he was tired, exhausted, but not enough to let his façade crumble down. Still deeply disappointed and yearning to understand the other, Chanyeol followed his gaze, looking to his left, gaze landing on Baekhyun and Minseok, breath cut off when he saw the way Minseok seemed to have gained the upper hand again, his fingers wrapped tightly around Baekhyun’s wrist, applying pressure to make him let go of his dagger. However, Baekhyun used his other hand to attack him, throwing it against the wound on Minseok’s left leg, fingers digging in until a soft groan of pain reached Chanyeol’s ears and Baekhyun was freed from the elder’s hold. He forced himself to glance down at Jongdae, taking a deep breath and willing his wildly beating heart to calm down only to freeze when finally, he managed to catch a glint of something in the other’s eyes, his eyebrows furrowing up the slightest bit before emotions were wiped away from his face and he looked back up at Chanyeol.

 

Worry. It had been worry in Jongdae’s eyes as he looked at Minseok lose the upper hand against Baekhyun.

 

It all suddenly seemed to make sense as his gaze locked into Jongdae’s, not straying away even once as it all started dawning upon him and he felt incredibly stupid for not having thought about it earlier. Minseok and Jongdae were together. They had gotten together before all of this had started and it had been an odd relationship, one that no one really knew anything about besides the fact that it had slightly tamed Jongdae and that they spent a lot of time together whenever they weren’t busy running around from mission to mission. Chanyeol remembered Junmyeon telling him once that there were no feelings involved between them and he had believed it because of all people, Jongdae and Minseok were the most unlikely ones to ever be able to develop any kind of pure, heartfelt feeling. It had made sense and Chanyeol had never questioned it much because it was always awkward for him to imagine the both of them together but he had really thought that it was a purely physical relationship.

 

However, he could now remember the small argument he had witnessed one day in Junmyeon’s kitchen, when both Minseok and Jongdae had been there and the elder had slightly blamed Chanyeol for Jongin’s death - the thought almost made him burst into laughter now - and Jongdae had immediately jumped to his defense, dragging the conversation towards the subject of feelings out of nowhere. He had blamed Minseok, implicitly accusing the other of being emotionless and Chanyeol remembered it well now, the way Jongdae had seemed to have gotten upset and angry at the elder for the first time ever and the emotions that had swirled in his eyes but that Chanyeol hadn’t paid much attention to. It wasn’t difficult to finally understand what had happened that day now. Jongdae hadn’t been talking about just any kind of emotion, maybe he had only been talking about the emotions Minseok should have for him, the feelings that he was supposed to return but that he seemingly didn’t. 

 

Jongdae wasn’t doing this out of greed. He wasn’t taking Minseok’s side because of a thirst for power. He was by the elder’s side because of feelings, _emotions._ As unexpected and surprising as it was, Chanyeol could now look at Jongdae and see himself in the emptiness glaring back at him.  He could now see a man ready to do anything for the person he maybe couldn’t breathe without anymore, a man throwing himself away into danger just because the person he loved with the darkest corners of his heart had asked him. He could see himself, the person he had been a few weeks ago, blinded by love, putting much more importance into Baekhyun than into himself, ready to throw his whole life away if it meant Baekhyun wouldn’t lose his. That was still the person Chanyeol was today. Maybe that was exactly why he could finally understand Jongdae and realize that the emptiness in his eyes wasn’t exactly a deep void, only a wall built from hesitation and confusion. Jongdae wasn’t a monster, he wasn’t like Minseok but he loved Minseok and he was obviously more than ready to throw himself away for him, even if he probably knew deep down that he was doing a huge mistake. 

 

It was a mistake Chanyeol wouldn’t let him commit. 

 

"You love him, don’t you?" he finally asked after what felt like an hour, voice carrying those words to Jongdae’s ears with an air of certainty that could only hint at the fact that he already knew the answer to his own question. 

 

However, Jongdae seemed to be surprised by those words, his eyes widening the slightest bit, for a split second during which Chanyeol knew he had asked the right question. The glint of surprise was quickly washed away though, once again hidden behind the same curtain of steel Jongdae had plastered in his dark orbs that suddenly seemed to fire up with anger and before Chanyeol even had the occasion to move a single finger, something dug into his stomach harshly and the next thing he felt was his back meeting the cold, hard floor again. 

 

Jongdae didn’t waste a single second after managing to push Chanyeol away and their positions seemed to be reversed since before the taller could even move away, Jongdae settled on him, pining him down with the whole weight of his smaller but still rather strong body, locking his hips between his legs to keep Chanyeol still as he landed a punch on his face, pure rage dripping from his eyes as he looked down at Chanyeol. The pain spreading through his nose once again was enough to call Chanyeol back to reality, making him focus on the fight again as he managed to avoid Jongdae’s next blow, blocking it by catching the other’s fist into his palm, his bigger hand locking around it to stop him. He couldn’t avoid the next punch, however, as Jongdae used his free hand to strike his face again before he could stop him.

 

He did his best to defend himself more than retaliate to the other’s attacks, blocking his punches and trying to catch his fists and lock them in order to prevent him from fighting but it was no use as Jongdae seemed to be even more determined to win this fight after the question that Chanyeol had asked, unconsciously fueling the fire that he knew was hidden behind the walls built in Jongdae’s irises. He ended up having no choice but to fight back for a bit, even if he simply wanted to make Jongdae realize his mistake and stop him before he did something he would never be able to take back, but he knew that Jongdae was in a state that wouldn’t allow him to realize anything if words were the only thing used on him. Therefore, Chanyeol allowed himself to finally fight back, letting go of the other’s wrist and using the second of blankness that took over Jongdae after landing another punch on him to strike back, his fist meeting the other’s face and throwing him off guard enough for Chanyeol to grab his arms and swing him to the left. They rolled over, exchanging their positions as Jongdae was now the one pinned down by Chanyeol, his chest heaving in what was probably exhaustion as Chanyeol shot a hand up to the his neck, fingers tightening around it and cutting his breath off the slightest bit to force him to listen.

 

He was tired himself but he knew that Jongdae was in a worst state than he was since contrary to him, Chanyeol was used to this kind of fight. The smaller squirmed a bit under him, trying to free himself but Chanyeol never once loosened his hold on him, watching as Jongdae did nothing but exhaust himself until he couldn’t take it anymore and let his words escape him.

 

"He doesn’t love you!" he shouted to the other, his eyes boring into Jongdae’s as he couldn’t help but shake him a bit again, hoping with all his heart that his words would reach him. He felt Jongdae’s already broken breath hitching at those words and he instantly froze under Chanyeol who felt a small glimmer of hope lighting up in him. Maybe this would be okay. Maybe he wouldn’t have to stain his hands with Jongdae’s blood. Maybe the other could realize his mistake. "He doesn’t love you like you do, can't you fucking see?!"

 

Sorrow crept through his heart as he saw the glint of pain slowly seeping through the cracks that started to form in the walls built in Jongdae’s eyes and Chanyeol almost hated himself for having to spit those words out at Jongdae, the person who had always made him smile through the hardest times, the friend who had always been by his side and who had always defended him through the years. However, he had to do this. This was the only way.

 

"He’s just using you," he continued, gritting those words out through his teeth.

 

It seemed to have the opposite effect from what he wanted on Jongdae, however, and the latter let out a groan of anger before starting to hit Chanyeol’s wrists and hands, scratching his skin off with his nails while squirming harder than ever, enough to make Chanyeol lose his balance and loosen the hold he had on Jongdae’s neck. The other pushed him away again, kicking him away furthermore only to follow Chanyeol with the intent of crashing his fist against his face. The latter had prepared himself for it, however, and he avoided it by scrambling away, the floor scratching the skin of his hands off until he managed to get back on his feet. Jongdae lurched himself at him and Chanyeol used the occasion to throw himself at the other as well, managing to avoid his strike by catching him in his arms, locking him into his embrace only to fold his leg and throw it up, knee digging into the other’s stomach hard enough to draw a pained groan out of him.

 

"He’s doing to you the same thing that Junmyeon tried doing to me for years," he groaned, breathy and pained as he kneed the other in the stomach once again. "He’s manipulating you and he’ll never love you back, Jongdae!"

 

"Shut the fuck up," he heard Jongdae groan, voice darker and lower than Chanyeol had ever heard it before, as if it wasn’t him speaking but a beast trapped somewhere deep inside of him growling, a monster that had taken over him.

 

Before he could say anything else, he felt something hooking around his ankle before pulling, making him lose his balance after a few seconds of struggling during which his hold on Jongdae had loosened a bit. The other took the occasion to push Chanyeol away as much as he could while simultaneously pulling on his ankle and it didn’t take long for Chanyeol to lose his balance entirely and stumble back before crashing on the floor. He immediately swept his leg on the floor, however, crashing his foot against Jongdae’s ankle hard to make him lose his balance and stumble down as well. He chanced a glance over his shoulder, catching a small glimpse of Baekhyun on the floor as well, straddling Minseok’s hips with his hands tight around the elder’s neck. They were closer than earlier, only a few steps separating them and they seemed to have been fighting with their bare hands for a while now. He immediately glanced back at Jongdae, not allowing himself to be distracted.

 

However, that single second spent looking away from Jongdae seemed to have been fatal and when Chanyeol looked at him again, he barely had the occasion to scramble back and away from him, the blade of the dagger Jongdae was holding in his hand slicing through his arm instead of his chest like the other had planned to do. Surprise and pain spread over him at once as he noted that the dagger was the one Minseok had been holding against Baekhyun’s neck earlier and blood oozing from his left arm as he realized that Jongdae must have picked it up from the floor while Chanyeol was looking away.

 

Alarm bells rung in his head loudly, screeching like a wounded animal, loud as the silence before a storm, and stifling as the waves of heat oozing from a wildfire. Jongdae didn’t waste a single second, lurching himself at Chanyeol again, dagger held tightly between his fingers and pointed at him. It took Chanyeol a split second to realize that it was a lost case, that there was nothing he could do anymore, and that he had to fight for his life and Baekhyun’s properly. He rolled away just in time for the blade to only scratch his cheek, piercing through the floor, the metallic sound echoing in his head the same way Jongdae’s groan of rage did.

 

He was beyond trying to make the other understand, however, and while Jongdae pulled the blade out of the small hole in tug on the ground, he quickly scrambled up to his feet, Jongdae doing so almost simultaneously before they lunched themselves at each other again. A scream of pain came from behind him but he paid it no mind and fully focused on his own fight, forcing his head not to turn and glance back as he tried to grab the other’s hand to block his attack. Luckily, the blade only sliced through the back of his own hand and he managed to wrap his fingers around Jongdae’s wrist, digging his fingers into his skin and pressing as hard as he could until the other finally had no choice but to let go of the dagger, ignoring the pain from squeezing his own wounded hand so hard. Without wasting a second, Chanyeol punched the other, again, and again, putting his whole anger and rage into every single blow, hating the fact that he had to do this but not having any other choice because he wouldn’t lose again after being led by his own emotions.

 

Jongdae was barely fighting back anymore, he was exhausted, maybe more mentally than physically but Chanyeol didn’t care, he couldn’t care when he had to end this and help Baekhyun. He grabbed the collar of his shirt with one hand, locking him in place to make this easier for him before lifting his hand, curling it into a tight fist and gathering every ounce of strength he had and swinging it in front of him like he’d throw a heavy rock into a troubled river, watching as it landed on Jongdae’s face.

 

Pain spread through his hand as his already scratches knuckles collided against the other’s cheek bone but he paid it no attention, clenching his jaw hard as he pulled his hand back again. Jongdae’s body was tilted sidewards a bit as a result of the strong blow but Chanyeol was still holding him, pulling him to stand properly again. His gaze was hard and cold as he took in Jongdae’s indifferent expression, as if it wasn’t painful, as if he didn’t mind being beaten up, as if he just didn’t care anymore. It made him angrier than he should be. He felt his nails digging into the tender flesh of his palm from how hard he was clenching his fist. 

 

He swung forward and punched him. Once again.

 

And again. 

 

"He doesn’t love you back!"

 

His eyes were gleaming with rage. His voice was hoarse, desperate, filled with hatred. He never looked away from Jongdae once. The sound of bones colliding with bones sent a shiver creeping down his spine.

 

He grabbed the other, holding him tightly, kneeing him in the stomach again.

 

And again.

 

His fist found its way back to Jongdae’s face. He felt something break under his knuckles, bones, a nose. Maybe Jongdae’s heart. Maybe his own.

 

"He isn’t capable of loving anyone."

 

Each word leaving his mouth was as violent as a fatal blow. His knuckles were hurting. His heart was ripping into small pieces with each blow he landed on the man he had once considered a brother. He barely could hear his own voice.

 

"He won’t ever love you back, Jongdae."

 

His fist crashed against the other’s face.

 

Again.

 

It was painful, his hand was sore. He didn’t care.  He punched him.

 

Again.

 

He pulled his hand back, fingers curled into a tight, heavy first that would probably be enough to finally steal Jongdae’s consciousness away.

 

He heard a scream, his tightly curled hand stopping only inches away from Jongdae’s face. 

 

Footsteps. 

 

Rushed footsteps. 

 

A groan tainted with rage.

 

"Chanyeol!"

 

The voice freezing him over was the same one as the owner of the scream of the pain from earlier. It was Baekhyun’s voice and it seemed to snap something in Chanyeol, breaking the wall of steel he had built around himself in order to keep his focus on his own battle and not let distractions lead him to his own downfall. 

 

He heard that wall crumble down into broken pieces right when a pained gurgle reached his ears and it took him a split second to turn around, barely registering the surprised glint in Jongdae’s half-lidded eyes before the air was cut off him, the sight unfolding before his eyes digging into his stomach like a well-aimed and merciless punch. He felt everything come down to a still, the whole world turning idle, his heart stopping, the blood thrumming in his veins freezing at once, and his breath locking somewhere in his throat, tangled amongst the ice pricks and the tight ropes forming a lump there. Something snapped in his head, a part of his mind, maybe a piece of his soul, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know. He could barely even see. He could barely even hear. He could only pay attention to the siren echoing in his head, drowning his ears, slicing through his brain, screeching loud and louder and even louder with each passing moment, warning him, alarming him, threatening him, _warning_ him. 

 

But it was too late.

 

He was frozen as he could only take in the sight that he wished he never had to see, the sight that he wish he could erase from his brain the second it was indefinitely marked into it. The sight of Baekhyun standing only a few feet away from him, closer than he was earlier when he had been straddling Minseok and gaining the upper hand on him. That wasn’t the case now. He couldn’t breathe. His chest felt too tight. His throat felt too loose. His head was throbbing too much. It hurt. It was incredibly painful but he didn’t even know where he was hurting. Maybe his heart. Maybe his head. Maybe his eyes were the most painful part of his body as he took in Baekhyun’s frozen features, the pain staining his beautiful face, his wide, sparkling eyes looking into Minseok’s two dark, empty voids filled with nothing but rage. They weren’t facing Chanyeol, they had been standing behind him but they weren’t facing away from him either. They were standing there as if Minseok had been approaching him and Baekhyun had been running after him to stop him.

 

He dragged his gaze down with difficulty, feeling every single inch of his soul ripping apart as he followed the length of Baekhyun wounded, bloody arm down, down, down until he reached those beautiful, slender fingers that fit so well in-between his, like pieces of a puzzle meant to be complete every single second of a day. Those fingers weren’t intertwined with his this time, however. Chanyeol felt something puling in him. Something clouding his eyes. Something stinging in his irises and in his chest and in his mind, like a needle trying to burst something open, like a nail trying to lodge itself into a wall.

 

Those fingers weren’t holding his. They were wrapped tightly around Minseok’s wrist, as if Baekhyun had been the one to guide his hand down and change its course from its original target. As if Baekhyun had been the one to guide the blade Minseok was clutching in his fingers into his own abdomen.

 

Something was wrapping around his throat, around his skull, around his heart, and squeezing. Pain. It was painful but Chanyeol didn’t know where that pain could come from if not from the fact that Baekhyun was bleeding out in front of him as soon as Minseok pulled the dagger out of him, damaging his harmed body even more. He felt something slipping away from his fingers. Something crashed on the floor. Jongdae. He had been holding Jongdae. Not anymore. He turned around fully, facing Baekhyun. He already had another hole piercing through his abdomen, only a few inches away from the slit Minseok had just opened in him, one that had probably been earned earlier, the reason behind that pained scream he had heard. Minseok’s hand on his arm was obviously the only thing holding him up, his other hand still clutching onto the dagger tightly as he was brandishing it again, holding it tightly, features twisted in an angry snarl as he was about to stab Baekhyun again. And again. And again. Like he always did to all his victim. 

 

He couldn’t though. This wasn’t a victim. This was Baekhyun. Sweet, fragile, beautiful Baekhyun Chanyeol had sworn to protect with his life years ago only for the other to give his own life away willingly to prevent the blade from reaching Chanyeol himself.

 

All of a sudden, Chanyeol found himself running, running as the blade went down again, stopping mere inches away from Baekhyun’s already harmed body as he felt himself crash against Minseok, pushing him away harshly with a kind of strength he didn’t know he had. The elder scrambled away, losing his balance and landing a few feet away, surprised and even angrier when the blade seemed to cut through his own hand as he fell down. However, Chanyeol didn’t look at him. He couldn’t. He couldn’t when he had to catch Baekhyun’s weak, frail body into his arms as it crashed down with nothing holding it up anymore, his own body following down, his knees crashing against the floor painfully even if he couldn’t even care about it when it at least meant that Baekhyun wouldn’t go through too much pain. The sound his knees made as they collided with the floor was loud, echoing in his head infinitely, the same way his heartbeat reverberated through his whole body, each beat surging pain through his veins. He didn't care. He couldn’t care. 

 

Baekhyun’s eyes were wide open, staring at Chanyeol, his lips parted as he wheezed, having a difficult time dragging air into his lungs when blood was oozing out of him. He was pale, paler than even moonlight, and Chanyeol could feel life bleeding out of his own body with each crimson drop Baekhyun’s wounds cried.

 

"Baekhyun," he called in a small, broken voice, one hand under Baekhyun’s nape as he laid on his lap, his other hand hovering over the wounds on his abdomen. He couldn’t breathe. This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be real. "Baekhyun!" he screamed this time, despair and pain clashing together in his voice along with disbelief as he pressed a hand against his wounds, doing his best to cover both of them even if it was difficult with a single hand.

 

He was trembling, his stomach churned with nausea as Baekhyun’s blood stained his hand, warm, wet, and more painful than anything else he had ever been through.

 

He shook the other a little, almost hysterically, calling his name again and again and again but not collecting any kind of reply besides soft whimpers escaping Baekhyun’s lips as he tried looking down at Chanyeol’s hand pressing against his wounds. Chanyeol shook his head, feeling his eyes well up with tears, of anger, of pain, of betrayal, of regret because he should’ve paid more attention. He should’ve heard Minseok approaching him from behind. He should’ve sensed it and turned around before Baekhyun had managed to throw himself in front of him in order to protect him.

 

Only a few seconds passed like that, with Chanyeol staring at Baekhyun, at his hooded eyes, at the bruises on his face, the blood staining his features and oozing from his body. This wasn’t happening. He felt flames spreading through him, as if Hell’s gates had opened just for him, fiery flames snaking around his limbs to drag him in and lock him up into an eternal pain. He shook his head harder, forcing himself to take a deep breath in, almost choking on the air he forced into his lungs. This wasn’t happening. It would be okay. Baekhyun would be okay. He was still conscious. Probably just in shock. Chanyeol would bring him to Yixing, even to the hospital as soon as they’d get out of here and Baekhyun would never leave him because Baekhyun loved him and he would never ever leave him alone in this cold, cruel world they had sworn to win against together years ago.

 

He forced himself to look away, gaze catching on the weapon that had pierced a hole through Baekhyun’s life and was trying to suck him in. It was resting only inches away from them, on the floor where Minseok had dropped it after Chanyeol had pushed him away with every ounce of strength he had left in him. The dagger laid there, so innocently, so inoffensively, so coldly. It was familiar.

 

It was the one Baekhyun had been holding earlier. It was Baekhyun’s dagger. He had been wounded by his own weapon. But that wasn’t why it felt familiar.

 

It was black. It was black but under the crimson stains on the handle, Chanyeol could decipher white curlicues, intricate forms, maybe words, maybe just figures meant to look lethal and beautiful like their owner. He couldn’t breathe. The siren in his head was even louder, screaming, wailing, screeching at Chanyeol. It was familiar. This feeling of suffocation, this feeling of dissociating with his body, this feeling of remembering. He had felt this pain before.

 

Flashes. Flashes of black and white braids around a wrist. 

 

Flashes but empty dialogues. He blinked. Something flashed in his mind. An image.

 

Black and white. An image of himself, so young, so pure, so naive, offering a dagger to Baekhyun. 

 

Black and white. 

 

A big smile, crescent-shaped, droopy eyes. Happiness, a gift, a prize, pride. 

 

Black and white.

 

The only reason why Baekhyun had insisted to go back to Kyungsoo’s house.

 

Black and white.

 

Black and white stained crimson when Chanyeol managed to get a grip of himself, ignoring the alarm, ignoring the images, ignoring the pain and the suffocation and the dizziness that always hit him in these moments, ignoring everything else but the rage bursting through him, like deadly fireworks, like explosions crumbling whole buildings down, like flames annihilating miles of green leaves and strong trunks.

 

Black and white suddenly became red, crimson, fiery flames, and explosions when Chanyeol looked up and away from Baekhyun’s pained features, gaze raking over the room like a rabid predator to find his prey only in less than a second, there, a few feet away from him, standing strong and steady on his feet when Chanyeol’s whole life was bleeding out in his arms.

 

Minseok was there, Minseok who had betrayed him, Minseok who had betrayed all of them, Minseok who had taken everything away from him, his revenge, his happiness, his last friend, and now, the sole reason why he was still breathing.

 

Minseok. It was Minseok. It had always been Minseok. 

 

Minseok who needed to pay. Minseok who had so mercilessly stabbed Baekhyun not once but twice, rendering him into a bleeding, wheezing mess in Chanyeol’s arms. Minseok who had his hands wrapped around Jongdae’s neck, the latter holding a dagger against the elder’s neck, his eyes sparkling, their earlier emptiness filled with sanity and tears, a sight Chanyeol had never witnessed before.

 

He was holding the blade there, looking into Minseok’s betrayed gaze, but he wasn’t doing anything, merely letting Minseok squeeze the life out of him because he couldn’t. Jongdae couldn’t. He had tried and maybe Chanyeol’s efforts hadn’t been useless, maybe he had managed to wake the other up and cause him to try and get rid of this cold, lifeless man bursting with the lives he had taken away without any kid of hesitation but he couldn’t. Jongdae would never be able to kill him, even if he probably just had the occasion to, even if even now, he could easily shove the blade into Minseok’s neck despite the latter’s strong hold around his own neck. He would never be able to kill the man he unexpectedly loved with all his heart.

 

But Chanyeol could. He would. He had to.

 

And without a single second of hesitation, he quickly but gently let Baekhyun rest on the cold, bloodied floor, looking into his eyes, reassured by the sparks still lighted up there. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay there, with him, and do everything he could to keep him alive but he had to do this. He would keep Baekhyun alive and that would be the first step.

 

He shot up on his feet, looking around, finding the black and white dagger but seeing nothing but crimson rage, everywhere, on the blood oozing from Baekhyun, on the blood staining the blade of the dagger he had gifted the other years ago, on the heartbeat pounding in his temples, on the anger coursing through his veins, and on the pain throbbing through his whole body and soul. His fingers tightened around the black and white handle, he turned around, seeing red, crimson as he looked at Jongdae’s eyes slowly falling shut, the hand that had been holding a blade against Minseok’s neck falling down but the elder not once loosening his grip around the neck of who had once been a lover he had never felt anything for.

 

Something pushed Chanyeol forward, his whole soul dragging him forward, pushing him and pulling him, every single ounce of his being yearning to run. His legs obeyed. He could barely register what he was doing. He was in pain. He could still hear Baekhyun wheezing in pain. He could still feel his warm blood on his fingers. He could still feel agony ripping through his heart, eating his soul away, burning his sanity into ashes. He ran and ran and threw his free hand forward, clutching on a jacket, a shirt, a shoulder, it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because he pulled Minseok away, using those few seconds of distraction as the elder paid attention to Jongdae and the advantage of his back facing Chanyeol, as if he had been approaching the latter again but had turned around the second he had heard Jongdae’s rushed footsteps nearing him for an ill attempt at freeing himself from a poisoned love he was drowning in.

 

He didn’t care. He couldn’t think. His head was buzzing. He was suffocating. His sight was blurry, tears and rage clouding his vision. He could hear it. The siren. The screams and screeches of his mind. It was hazy. He couldn’t register his own movements.

 

Flashes. 

 

Flashes lost somewhere between the present and the past. 

 

Smiles. Laughter. 

 

Screams. Pain.

 

Minseok hadn't seemed to hear him and he was surprised as Chanyeol pulled him away from Jongdae, cutting the words that he hadn’t been able to register off and freeing Jongdae who crashed on the floor limply. Baekhyun was bleeding out on the floor too. He was bleeding out and dying and Chanyeol was losing him. No. Chanyeol wouldn’t lose him. Jongdae crashed down. Chanyeol couldn’t glance at him to see whether he was okay or not, he couldn’t hear him, he couldn’t see him, he couldn’t hear or see anything but Minseok who tried defending himself, punching and kicking, attacking, blow after blow, but Chanyeol retaliated, fighting back, kicking, punching, pushing him away as if someone or something else had taken control over his body. Maybe it was rage. Maybe it was pain. Maybe it was a beast hidden deep inside of him. He didn’t care, he barely registered what he was going, looking but seeing nothing but crimson blurriness, listening but hearing nothing but Baekhyun’s pained whimpers echoing in his head.

 

And suddenly, before any of them realized anything, Chanyeol felt his hand lurching forward, struggling against something before moving again, as if piercing through a wall of steel. It was warm, however, not cold and when he looked down, the blade of his dagger, of Baekhyun’s dagger, had pierced through Minseok’s abdomen.

 

It was warm. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t hear. He couldn’t breathe.

 

It was cold. Cold. Not warm. Just cold.

 

Cold like the visualization of a world without Baekhyun. Minseok had dragged him into his Lands of Eternal Cold. A world without Baekhyun. He had snatched Baekhyun away from him. 

 

Minseok’s blood was warm on his hands, his wide eyes were staring up at Chanyeol, surprised, shocked, cold.

 

A world without Baekhyun would be cold.

 

He felt something seeping into his mind. Cold. Something breaking in his mind. It would be so cold. It was painful, ice embracing his skull and warmth seeping into him at the same time, something soothing up in his mind and loosening and opening and letting him catch a glimpse he had yearned to see for so long but all he could feel was cold. He felt dizzy, he felt satisfaction creeping into him as he pulled the blade out of Minseok’s body. But it was cold. So cold.

 

It would be so cold.

 

_"Hey! What are you doing out there? It’s so cold, you should find a shelter. You can’t sleep in the streets in this weather. Hey, can’t you hear me? I told you to find a shelter."_

 

It had been so cold before.

 

_"It’s warmer here, isn’t it? It’s a bit dirty, far from everywhere else and there’s only a big mattress but we can share. We’ve been sharing since I brought you here anyway. You were unconscious when I found you but your fever went down."_

 

It was painful. His head hurt. He was scared.

 

Scared of losing Baekhyun. 

 

He didn’t want to lose Baekhyun.

 

A hand was gripping his arm, stained, crimson. Cold through the fabric of his clothes. Sharp like the devil’s claws. He couldn’t pay attention to it. He pulled his own hand away and threw it forward again, the blade piercing through skin for the second time as he blinked, blinked, blinked. 

 

Flashes. 

 

Black and white. 

 

Crimson. Colorful.

 

_"You haven’t been eating for days?!"_

 

_"I gave all my food to you since you were sick, Baekhyunnie."_

 

_"But what about you? You need to eat too!"_

 

_"I’ll eat when we’ll find food."_

 

_"We can just steal it!"_

 

_"That’s too dangerous!"_

 

He hated it. He was dizzy. Dizzy with pain, with anger, with flashes of a childish smile and crescent-shaped eyes crinkled at the corner. 

 

Bright. 

 

It had always been so bright back then. 

 

_"You’re like light. Without you, I’d trip all the time. You help me walk properly without hurting myself. I wouldn’t be able to do all this without you. And it’s also really really cold at night when you’re not next to me so that’s why I’ll call you Light too."_

 

_"Light doesn’t have anything to do with warmth, silly."_

 

_"Don’t act smart, Baekhyun."_

 

So bright. 

 

As bright as Minseok’s blood staining his hand. 

 

He blinked. 

 

He pushed forward again, almost unconsciously, as if it was automatic. He felt flesh and nerves and muscles and blood opening a path for his blade. The hand gripping his arm was starting to weaken its hold on him.

 

He was dizzy. 

 

Too dizzy.

 

_"You’re dizzy, just lay down, Baekhyun."_

 

_"How do you expect me to lay down when I'm laying on a  bed offered by the man who got me beaten up in the first place, Chanyeol?!"_

 

_"He’s not that bad! He’s actually really nice and told us we could stay here while you were sleeping. He said that we could live with him."_

 

_"Why the hell would he say that?"_

 

_"He said we could work with him, that we could become a family."_

 

He felt Minseok’s legs giving out, his hands, his nails scratching Chanyeol’s arms as he tried to free himself and fight back. He couldn’t, however, not when Chanyeol snatched the blade out of his abdomen again. He dropped down on the floor, Chanyeol followed him. The floor was harsh, dirty, cold, painful under his knees. 

 

He was suffocating. 

 

_"Stop throwing me on the floor, it hurts my knees, dumbass!"_

 

_"Seungsoo keeps scolding me because I’m not really fighting you when we’re training."_

 

_"It hurts, Chanyeol!"_

 

_"It doesn’t! You always say that and when I feel bad and slow down, you kick me all of a sudden and end up winning the fight."_

 

It was coming back to him. 

 

He felt himself move to straddle Minseok’s hips the same way Baekhyun had been doing earlier before he had lost the upper hand. He felt the blade piercing through Minseok’s body again, he felt his headache growing stronger, his heartbeat screaming into his temples louder.

 

Screaming. 

 

Loud. So loud. 

 

Too loud.

 

He was losing Baekhyun. 

 

He was losing Baekhyun. He couldn’t lose Baekhyun. 

 

He was losing himself but he couldn’t loose Baekhyun. 

 

It was his fault. He pulled the blade out, not hearing his victim’s gurgles of pain, his whimpers. 

 

His fault.

 

_"It’s all your fault, Chanyeol! If you hadn’t accepted working for Seungsoo then we wouldn’t be hiding in a fucking safe house in the middle of the fucking woods to run away from Junmyeon! Seungsoo would still be alive. We would still be safe. It all happened because of you!"_

 

He could see it. 

 

Tear-filled eyes, glistening cheeks, rage and heartbreak. Betrayal. Baekhyun accusing him. Baekhyun. Baekhyun. 

 

He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop his hand from pulling out and stabbing again. And again. And again. Blood was splattering on his face, his cheeks, his chin. 

 

It was warm. So warm. 

 

Hot. It was hot. Too hot. 

 

He couldn’t breathe. He was suffocating. 

 

It was hot. 

 

Too hot.

 

_Hot._

 

_The pain was scalding hot, burning his skin, leaving it red and purple and blue. It was hot. His whole body was burning and the flames in front of him were sizzling and cracking and consuming Chanyeol’s whole life away._

 

_He had lost._

 

_He had lost Baekhyun. He had lost him in the flames. He was gone. In flames. Like Chanyeol’s whole life. He had lost him._

 

_He couldn’t lose him._

 

_It wasn't real. It was painful. So painful. He couldn’t lose him. He didn’t want to lose him. He was in pain. He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget losing Baekhyun. He wanted to forget Baekhyun’s death. Baekhyun wasn’t dead. No, he wasn’t. He wanted to sleep. He was tired. Exhausted. He didn’t want to remember._

 

_Pain. It was so painful. He felt his head collide against something as hard as a rock, kicks and punches showered on him. Laughter. He wanted to forget that sound. He wanted to forget everything._

 

_Black. It all faded to black._

 

_He wanted to forget._

 

_He had lost Baekhyun._

 

_He needed to forget._

 

_It was painful._

 

It was painful. So painful. 

 

He remembered this pain. 

 

He remembered going through the same suffering ten long years ago. He remembered and with each time the blade pierced through Minseok’s body again and again and again it was becoming clearer. Memories surged through his mind one by one, whizzing through his head, chasing each other around his mind, flashing brightly. A smile here, a tear there, accusation bright in one of them, dimmed happiness following after. They were all so different, so similar, so familiar, and so unfamiliar at the same time but every single one of them was beautiful because Baekhyun was always there, in every single image flashing through his mind once before settling there forever, after years of absence. It was clear. So clear. And painful.

 

Baekhyun. Baekhyun. He couldn’t forget Baekhyun.

 

Seconds had passed, maybe minutes before Chanyeol managed to get a grip of himself back. The realization that Minseok was still warm but lifeless under him was welcomed with indifference. He was looking into those lifeless eyes and this time, there wasn’t even emptiness in them. Nothing. No cold. No warmth. No indifference. No life.

 

He pulled away. Hands crimson and wet and warm with Minseok’s blood. His trembling fingers finally let the dagger drop, crimson, black and white entirely stained and erased. Jongdae was next to him, still crumbled down on the floor, frozen, unmoving, looking over at Minseok with empty eyes, the eyes of someone who was lost, clueless at the end of a longstanding captivity.

 

He looked over his shoulder. Baekhyun was there. Still there. Crimson on the floor.

 

He shot up on his feet, tripping and stumbling down as he got off Minseok’s lifeless body, dragging himself on the floor, scratching his hands and knees as he reached Baekhyun and cupped his cheek, cupped his nape and lifted his head up a bit so he could lay on Chanyeol’s lap. Like he always did. 

 

Like Baekhyun always used to love doing when they were younger and he was exhausted.

 

"Baekhyun," he called out, whispered, pleaded, voice broken as his gaze trailed over Baekhyun’s pale, glistening face. He was sweating, glowing, blood on his face, on his lips, on his neck, on his body. His chest was heaving up and down slowly, barely even moving. He was so beautiful. Even now, Chanyeol was laying his eyes on the most beautiful creature he would ever have the honor of seeing.

 

His eyes were closed. Chanyeol could feel pain spreading through his whole existence and he wished Baekhyun would’ve left him take those blows. He wished his body had been the one pierced by a familiar, sharp blade. With the deepest part of his soul, he wished he could inhale Baekhyun’s pain and breathe life back into him.

 

His trembling thumb gently rubbed over the apple of his cheek. There was a scratch there, a small cut. Chanyeol felt the pain in his deepest core. He was so pale, so fragile, so weak and for the first time ever, Chanyeol knew that it wasn’t only how Baekhyun looked in his eyes. It was the way he actually was, for the first time ever. He was loosing too much blood, Chanyeol pulled his hand away from under Baekhyun’s head to press it against his wound again, hating himself when Baekhyun whimpered in pain but knowing that it was the best thing to do.

 

He had to do something. He had to call someone. He had to keep Baekhyun alive.

 

"Baekhyun," he called again, louder, with more despair, the plea in his voice bigger than ever.

 

Finally, finally Baekhyun’s eyes fluttered open, with difficulty, like a butterfly’s wings fighting against the strong wind and losing the battle, exhausted. His gaze met Chanyeol’s, they locked together and the latter felt an ice shard piercing through his chest, followed by a blade of steel, and then a crimson, heated metal spike. His eyes were still sparkling like two pools of stars gleaming for no one else but their owner, two oceans Chanyeol loved letting himself go in because he knew they would never bring any harm to him. But the stars were tired, exhausted, and dim, as if they didn’t have the strength to smile back at their owner anymore. It was painful, so painful but it was nothing compared to what Baekhyun was probably feeling and he wished with his whole soul that he was the one bleeding out on the floor instead.

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun breathed out, exhaled, barely audible, the second syllable of his name barely even pronounced. 

 

His heart howled in sorrow in his chest, replying to the call, pleading its owner to pronounce that single name again.

 

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol rushed out, panic squeezing around his heart so coldly. As cold as the winters he had spent squeezing Baekhyun in his arms to make sure he wouldn’t get sick as they laid on their dirty mattress years ago, in the middle of a dirty, abandoned warehouse they had called home for such a long time. "Baekhyun, listen to me. Look at me. Don’t close your eyes, don’t fall asleep, just look at me, please," he pleaded, begged, words as loud as his despair, as trembly as his whole body, and as broken as his soul. "Please, Baekhyun, just look at me. I killed him. I killed him, Baekhyun and it all ended and I’ll keep you alive. Please, just-"

 

"Free," he heard the other say before a fit of coughing took over him and he winced. Warm, his blood was so warm under Chanyeol’s hand and he felt his whole being going down in coldhearted flames. "We’re- we’re free," he repeated after Chanyeol leaned down a bit to hear him properly. He still could barely decipher those words, it took him a lot of effort since he was dizzy and in pain, and his ears were still ringing from the abundance of memories flowing into his mind but he listened with his whole soul, feeling it ripping apart inch by inch with each sound escaping Baekhyun’s lips.

 

Baekhyun was smiling up at him, his eyes crinkling a little bit, bright, so bright and beautiful, lighted up like a warm summer sky hidden behind the rustling leaves of a forest protecting the sky from sight. The curve of his lips was faint but Chanyeol still felt it shine into his whole being, so bright that he felt his eyes stinging, sorrow and pain pooling in them until finally, Chanyeol was tired of being strong and let everything go, letting Baekhyun’s light reflect on the tears that slid down his cheeks before they turned pink, stained by the crimson blood on his face.

 

He shook his head. Baekhyun’s eyes fluttered close before opening again, so slowly, as if it took the other a considerable and exhausting effort to drag his eyelids up again. He shook his head harder, pleading the other under his breath, repeating his name like a mantra that would magically keep him alive. This couldn’t happen. This wasn’t happening. Baekhyun was barely breathing and Chanyeol felt himself drowning.

 

"Baekhyun," he called out again, the precious name lost in the sob that he couldn’t keep in, stumbling down his lips, so gentle yet so broken. He had to call someone. He had to do something. He fumbled to get his phone out, fingers shaky as he grabbed the device and pulled it out of his pocket only to accidentally let it drop because his hand was slippery with blood and he was scared and in pain and he was shaking and Baekhyun needed help. He took a shaky, choked up, but deep breath in, moving his hand to grab the phone back.

 

But he couldn’t do anything when Baekhyun brought a trembling hand up, groaning in pain as he rested it on Chanyeol’s own hand, the one that was still pressed against Baekhyun’s abdomen, their fingers lacing together over his wounds for what felt like the last time. The blood made everything slippery but Chanyeol squeezed hard enough to never ever let go of the only hand he had ever wanted to hold forever.

 

"Baekhyun, you can’t do this to me," he cried out, voice booming through the whole room, maybe the whole building, so loud because he felt like he couldn’t reach the man he loved anymore. He felt as if the light was too far away, dimming down, running away from him, _dragged_ _away_ from him. "You promised! You promised we would die together. We promised we would die together when we’d be old and still together and you promised, Baekhyun," he rambled out, aware that he wasn’t even making sense but unable to do anything about it when his whole body was raked with sobs and he had started shaking Baekhyun a little, desperate and hopeless.

 

The other parted his lips, his hooded eyes somehow brightening, sparkling harder and giving Chanyeol some hope before it all vanished when those sparkles gathered up into tiny, shimmery, wet crystals that trailed down Baekhyun’s eyes, sliding down his cheeks. He tried saying something and Chanyeol cut his own already slow breath to listen to him carefully but all the other could do was cough and whimper in pain, a tiny, small trail of blood appearing at the corner of his lips as he tried pushing a word out of his mouth without any success.

 

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol pleaded, like a man watching everything he had ever owned going down in flames, like a child begging his mother to let him keep the light on at night because he was scared of the monsters hiding in the dark, under his bed. "I remember," he finally said, hoping that it would be enough to give Baekhyun something to hold onto, hoping that it would keep him alive. "I remember everything, Baekhyun. Everything! Everything about you, everything we’ve been through, everything we told each other. I remember it all and you can’t fucking leave me with nothing but memories of you, Baekhyun."

 

He felt Baekhyun’s fingers twitching in his hold, so warm, so cold, so fragile and perfect in Chanyeol’s own hand. His lips quirked up a bit higher. Chanyeol felt a bigger hole stretching in his chest, piercing, tearing, and burning his soul apart. He held on tightly. He would never let Baekhyun go. Never. He had promised. They had promised and Chanyeol wouldn’t break yet another promise. He would never let Baekhyun go.

 

"I’m- I’m glad," the other stuttered, exhaling deeply after those words but never once looking away from Chanyeol even if he probably could barely even see him, his eyes still flooded with tears, his cheeks glistening more as Chanyeol’s own beads of sorrow and pain landed on his skin, their face so close to each other but the gap between them widening with each passing second. 

 

"Please," Chanyeol pleaded, gripping the other, pressing on his wound harder, squeezing his fingers between his, crying, wailing, pleading, begging, slowly dying inside.

 

Baekhyun took a deep breath in, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again, staring right back into Chanyeol’s eyes, those stars shining so beautifully, brighter than ever, as if they were giving him a farewell and their brightest beauty as a last memory.

 

"So glad," he breathed out again, smiling so beautifully, so calmly, so peacefully but only fueling Chanyeol’s pain and adding strength to the storms bursting inside of him and stealing all his breath away. "Never forget me again, Chanyeol-ah."

 

"Never," he replied, pleaded, breathless, and hopeless. "I’ll never ever forget you again, Baekhyun."

 

It hurt. It hurt so much and as life was bleeding out of Baekhyun, Chanyeol felt himself sinking, deeper and deeper, away from life, in the deepest part of a fire he wanted to lock himself in forever to suffer until the end of time. It would be far less painful than what was cruelly offered to his eyes right at the moment.

 

He felt panic growing stronger when Baekhyun’s chest remained still for longer than two seconds before heaving up again. He called for him, screaming his name, pleading him to stay awake, shaking him harder as if that would help, begging him to stay alive, shaking his head in denial.

 

However, Baekhyun didn’t seem to hear Chanyeol anymore. He didn’t seem to hear anything. He was only smiling up at him, looking up at him, gaze unwavering as if he wanted to mark Chanyeol’s face into his mind until the end of time. 

 

"Never… Never ever forget that I will always love you," Baekhyun whispered, voice as gentle as cherry blossoms tickling your cheeks while dropping down the sky, as warm as the sun kissing your lips in the morning to wake you up with its brightness, and as soft as a last exhale filled with the emotions and the memories of a whole lifetime.

 

"I will always love you too, Baekhyun. Always," he replied, voice quivering with his tears before silence fell over the both of them, as sudden as a blade piercing through skin. 

 

Silence. A deafening silence he hadn’t heard in a long time. A silence Baekhyun always, always chased away for him. A silence he tried breaking without wasting a single moment.

 

Chanyeol called for him but he didn’t reply, despair and heartbreak digging into his soul and slicing him open. He shook him harder, breathless, almost hysterical as he cried and screamed for the man he loved more than his own life, pain and madness clouding over everything else. However, the other didn’t budge, only looking up at Chanyeol, only holding his hand with his weakening fingers, only loving him even in the last words he could pronounce.

 

Baekhyun smiled up at him, so beautiful even as his eyelids fell shut the same way Night always fell over Day by endlessly hunting the sun down across the sky, and Chanyeol felt his whole world sink into an endless pit of darkness, shadows chasing his only light away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the epilogue so stay tuned for it!!
> 
> After reading this, you can go and kindly curse at me on twitter (@Bbaegi_) or tumblr (@byunbaegi) if you feel like killing me! Or we could just be normal friends too lmao


	30. Epilogue

Silence danced loudly around the room, each of its muffled steps on the floor echoing loudly in his head, each note blaring like a siren that had started to deafen him the second he managed to catch on to the fact that everything around him was drowned in silence. There were long notes of silence, a monotonous rhythm, each small note separated from the next by a tiny second that somehow seemed even more silent than the siren he could hear in his head. 

 

It was an odd kind of silence, it was muffled and unclear in his head, as if his ears weren’t awake enough to listen properly to his surroundings, but it was silent all around him nonetheless and he felt himself frowning, his eyebrows furrowing in distaste.

 

He had never liked silence. He hated it. He had always disliked the way it was louder than anything else, how empty it was, and how deep it could be. Silence always hid something, words, feelings, thoughts, or danger that would take you on by surprise while you were too busy listening to the deep silence surrounding you to pay attention to anything else. It reminded him too much of the cold nights he had spent in the streets, alone and hiding his small body from danger in narrow alleys, nighttime always worsening the cold weather and freezing his already weakened limbs. Silence had always been wrong for him and for his whole life, he had always tried filling it up and chasing it away as far as he could by making unnecessary noise, drumming his fingers over any hard surface, humming under his breath, talking, and talking, and making noise and never ever staying alone. It was never silent whenever _he_ was there, by his side.

 

However, he was alone now. Alone and trapped in the dark with nothing but silence as his sole companion. Nothing but that blaring siren, slow, steady, and loud. It wasn’t the first time he was trapped in nothing but silence and darkness but now, it felt wrong. It felt incredibly wrong, more than it had ever and slowly, he could feel that small spark in him growing, that small spark that always shined coldly through his whole body and froze him all over. That small spark called fear. Maybe it had already frozen him because he couldn’t move, he couldn’t even feel anything, as if he was barely even alive and maybe he wasn’t even alive anymore. He couldn’t move his body, he felt so heavy and he wondered whether that was the weight of his fear and his demons crawling in the darkness he was trapped in and laying themselves all over his body, locking him in yet another trap. 

 

He felt his chest heaving up sharply, as if he had inhaled too much air at once, as if he was waking up, and every single ounce of air filling his sandy lungs was dragging a needle through his body, pain shooting through his chest before spreading along his shoulders, his arms, jumping around in his stomach and then descending towards his legs. He could feel it now. He felt the fingers of his left hand twitching once, twice, before freezing again. The pain was horrible but at least, it had been enough to call his body back from wherever it had been trapped in until now and when his chest heaved up a second time, another deep breath filled him up. The pain started fading away a little, lingering in the back of his mind but dimmer, part of it devoured by the numbingly cold fear surging through his veins. He was freezing. It was so cold. He couldn’t move. One of his hands was trapped somewhere. Somewhere that didn’t feel as cold as the rest of his body did. It was dark, so dark, and silent. Was it really silent? 

 

The alarm he had taken for Silence’s screeching earlier was starting to grow louder, louder and less _silent_. It wasn’t silence. Slowly, he could feel something unfolding in his head, a door opening up in his mind, the chains rattling as he was freed and suddenly, the silence was absorbed by a loud siren, even louder, right next to his ears, screaming at him and ordering him to breathe and reminding him that he was alive by wailing louder with each steady beat he could feel in his chest.

 

Suddenly, his eyes snapped wide open. It wasn’t dark. It was too bright. He closed his eyes again. Pain shot up through his head, like nails being pounded into his temples, trying to carve a way through his skull, like someone was squeezing his head between their claws, as if something was trying to make him explode. He heard a loud beeping, it worsened everything and for a single second, everything was muffled, even the small whimper that he heard coming from his own mouth. He opened his eyes again. He blinked, once, twice, three times, until the pain was starting to fade away and keeping his eyes open wasn’t a torture anymore. He heard loud panting, as if someone couldn’t breath, as if fear was wrapping around someone’s neck and squeezing as hard as it could. The ceiling was bright, white, pristine. It wasn’t dark anymore. It wasn’t silent either. The loud panting he had heard, the heavy breaths he could still hear drowning everything else out and chasing the silence away to replace it with cold, frozen notes of fear was coming from his own mouth. It was bright, too bright. He was alone. Being alone was worse than being trapped in silence.

 

_"…hear me?"_

 

It wasn’t silent. 

 

A voice seeped into his mind, digging itself a path through the fear and the panic and the silence and the darkness he had been trapped in. It was muffled. He couldn’t hear it properly, his own breath too loud, his heartbeat way too quick and agitated, like an alarm. An alarm? Was it really his heartbeat? A heartbeat didn’t sound so mechanic and strident and dead. Dead. He wasn’t dead. His hand was warm, warmer than the rest of his body. Warm, it was warm and soothing and he focused on it, letting the warmth enveloping his fingers slowly travel through the rest of his body, like a soothing flame embracing him and fluttering around him protectively, chasing the cold away as if it had always been its duty to do so. 

 

It was a familiar warmth. A flame that had always fluttered deep inside his heart. Dark shadows dancing in his heart and forming the perfect figure of a flame that never once ceased embracing the sparks inside of him. He felt those sparks slowly growing, the light that had been dimmed down until now slowly coming back to life in his soul as soon as it found a reason to shine again. The only reason he had ever had.

 

"Baekhyun, can you hear me?"

 

The voice was clearer now, everything was clearer, and soon, he felt his body slowly obeying to him again, as if the warmth had finally managed to unfreeze it. He took a deep breath in, the panic that had been suffocating him slowly dimming down, melted away and replaced by a bright streak of relief that seemed to be enough to allow him to slowly turn his head. It hurt a bit, he still felt numb, as if he hadn’t moved in days, but as soon as he managed to look beside him, the blurriness fading away, he finally managed to understand what the siren he had heard until now had been. It was coming from the small machine next to his bed, beeping and drawing a line over the screen, transcribing his heartbeat.

 

"Welcome back to us," Baekhyun heard again and he trailed his gaze a bit to the side, noting that he was enveloped in white bedsheets and if he had ever doubted where he even was, the simple sight of a familiar person dressed in white was enough for him to conclude he was in a hospital.

 

"Yixing?" he asked, more to pronounce a word than to actually check the familiar man’s identity. His voice was hoarse, it sounded so unfamiliar, like the groan of an old wooden floor a child would jump all over simply to make some kind of noise. His throat hurt and it wasn’t difficult to figure out he hadn’t used his voice in way too long.

 

"I’m glad you remember me, that's a good sign," the other replied, that light, dimpled smile offered to Baekhyun who looked at him for a few confused seconds before understanding his words.

 

Right. He was at the hospital for a reason.

 

However, before he had time to dwell on it, he remembered the warmth enveloping his hand and his gaze suddenly jumped down, landing on the figure curled next to him. He seated on a really uncomfortable looking chair, back hunched as his upper body was resting on the bed, face buried between stiff arms, and a hand gently holding onto Baekhyun’s, as if it was stuck there, as if nothing would ever be able to untangle their fingers.

 

He felt his chest suddenly stifling, as if the flame nestled there was growing stronger and smoke was staring to seep into his lungs, rendering him unable to breathe for a few seconds as his eyes never once left Chanyeol’s sleeping figure. Or maybe it wasn’t a flame. Maybe it was the lights in his heart flickering crazily and weakening him by using too much of his energy. Maybe those lights were simply excited and delighted at the sight of the only person who had ever been able to switch them on and off the way he wanted. Chanyeol never once damaged those lights, though, he always made Baekhyun keep them on, he made Baekhyun unable to ever switch them off by once whispering to him that he needed those lights to survive, years ago, when his voice hadn’t been as deep and his smile hadn’t been as dark. 

 

"He’s been here the whole night," Yixing spoke again and only then did Baekhyun notice that his voice was almost as quiet as a whisper, as if he didn’t want to wake Chanyeol up, and it wasn’t difficult to see why. 

 

Chanyeol was asleep, knocked out and hidden in a deep slumber judging by the way Baekhyun’s panic and his earlier croak hadn’t even woken him up. He had never been a heavy sleeper and even if he was, Baekhyun knew he’d always wake up at the first sign of danger that he always managed to sense even in his sleep so it wasn’t difficult to figure out that he was probably exhausted. Something pinched his heart as he observed the other, the lights in his heart shining too strongly and making him wince when they suddenly dimmed down, worry and pain weakening them as Baekhyun trailed his gaze over the other’s features. His hair was still the same dark color it had always been but his strands were a bit longer than Baekhyun remembered them to be, way more unruly as well, as if he had spent hours running his hands through his hair, pulling and tugging at it in frustration, maybe worry. It wasn’t even a supposition, Chanyeol always ran his fingers through his hair whenever he was at a loss, whenever he didn’t know what to do and had nothing to hold onto but the last pieces of his sanity. Baekhyun knew him. He knew him better than he knew himself.

 

That wasn’t all, however, his eyebrows were furrowed, as if even his slumber wasn’t peaceful and he was trying to get a grip of himself even when asleep, his eyes moving frantically under his closed eyelids. He was probably having a bad dream, his eyebrows were always furrowed when he was having a nightmare and there was always a line on his forehead, a line that Baekhyun would’ve loved to sooth with his thumb but he still didn’t have the strength to move even a single finger. He didn’t want to risk waking the other up either so he simply continued observing him, worry and sadness sizzling in his stomach and almost giving him nausea as he took in the blemish tone of Chanyeol’s skin, his sickly pale cheeks that were almost as white as the sheets of his bed, the worrying color only disturbed by a small cut on the apple of the cheek Baekhyun could see. It wasn’t a fresh cut, it was healing and it might not be deep enough to leave a scar but it was still there, the only flaw on Chanyeol’s handsome face. There wasn’t any other sign of injury so he tried not lingering on it too much, his gaze trailing down over the slope of Chanyeol’s nose and finally landing on his dry, chapped lips, bruises blossoming where Chanyeol had obviously torn the skin off with his own teeth.

 

It was yet another one of his nervous habits and Baekhyun took a deep, shaky breath in, trying to suck air into his lungs through the lump that had formed in his throat, painful and heavy. Chanyeol looked exhausted to the bone but somehow, that still didn’t change the fact that he was the most beautiful sight Baekhyun had ever laid his eyes on, his handsome features unchanging and still soothing Baekhyun’s pain more than any kind of medicine Yixing had probably been on the verge of injecting into his blood a few seconds ago. He probably hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in too long, he looked sick and worried to death and yet, Baekhyun felt his chest warming up and his own exhaustion slowly turning into ashes, the flames Chanyeol offered him through their tangled fingers dripping onto the gasoline that always seemed to be hidden somewhere in Baekhyun’s soul. That would be the only explanation as to why it was so easy for Chanyeol to set his whole entire being ablaze with a single touch or a few whispered words. 

 

He felt himself burning in that familiar way, that way he always felt whenever Chanyeol was there, by his side, holding his hand and never once leaving him. Baekhyun had been burned off and hurt by those flames so many times in his life, sometimes enough to consider himself dead. However, even now, years after the very first time he had noticed that Chanyeol was nothing but flames and he was nothing but an inflammable soul, a few drops of gasoline, he loved every single thing about those flames, the pain, the danger, but most of all, the warmth. 

 

"He’s actually been here every night for the past two months," the doctor added softly when Baekhyun remained silent for too long.

 

"Two months?" Baekhyun repeated, surprise dragging his gaze up from Chanyeol to Yixing instead.

 

"You’ve been out for two months now," the other explained softly, that same smile lingering on his lips.

 

Two months. Two months was a really long time. He couldn’t really grasp it, not when his temples still pulsated with a lingering pain and Chanyeol’s hand was so warm in his. He couldn’t even remember how he had even ended up here, the last thing he recalled was fighting Minseok in that warehouse, taking stupid decisions but almost winning over the other. He could remember the deep worry coursing through his whole body at that time and the urge to glance over his shoulder every two second to make sure Chanyeol was okay, not because he didn’t trust him to win the fight but because he would constantly worry over him no matter what. 

 

He didn’t recall anything else, however, he didn’t know what had happened and why he was lying in a hospital bed. The rest was blurry, half of that memory cut off as if someone had sliced through it with a sharp blade.

 

"I… I don’t remember," he whispered softly, gaze dropping back to Chanyeol, the only thing that kept him grounded through his confusion and the frustration that came with not knowing what had last happened to him.

 

Chanyeol at least looked fine, he didn’t look too different than the last time Baekhyun had seen him and he didn’t look injured either. However, Baekhyun supposed he probably had had plenty of time to heal in those past two months that Baekhyun had missed. His stomach churned at the thought. Chanyeol must have worried himself to death.

 

"That’s expected," Yixing said and when Baekhyun felt warm fingers on his cheek, he tensed up, snapping his gaze back at him.

 

"No need to growl like an angry puppy, I’m just checking up on you," Yixing chuckled, still as unbothered as Baekhyun remembered him to be the last time they had seen each other and he had held a knife against his neck. He forced himself to relax as the doctor checked up on him, shining light into his eyes and making sure that he was okay while speaking again. "You’ll probably start remembering little by little, the shock of that day coupled with the fact that you spent two months in a coma probably caused you to erase a little bit of the last memories."

 

"What happened?" he couldn’t help but ask even if Yixing probably didn’t know much, his stomach clenching and his fingers unconsciously tightening around Chanyeol’s. The latter made a soft, sleepy sound and Baekhyun felt his lips quirking up a little bit, his chest warming up and the heat almost causing his eyes to burn a bit. He was so relieved.

 

Yixing’s gaze was steady and light on him once he pulled back after making sure everything was okay, his hands shoved into his pockets. Baekhyun realized that he was only wearing a white shirt, not the usual white coat doctors would be wearing.

 

"He called me in the middle of the night two months ago, he was in a really bad state and I couldn’t really understand what he was trying to say, just that you were hurt. He basically begged for help and I was surprised because he doesn’t need to ask for me to even help him," Yixing chuckled softly, his gaze dropping to Chanyeol for a second before finding Baekhyun again. "I guess he was really scared. I told him to bring you here, to my house as quickly as he could."

 

"This is your house?" Baekhyun couldn’t help but ask, furrowing his eyebrows.

 

"It is," Yixing shrugged, still smiling. It was an odd smile. Baekhyun wasn’t used to people who constantly smiled so kindly. "After a few years of having to fix up assassins’ injuries, I guess I slowly started bringing in the necessary material to make it easier for me."

 

"I see," Baekhyun mumbled, not bothering to linger on details or confusing behaviors when he only wanted to hear the rest of his story.

 

"You were in a pretty bad state though," the doctor continued softly. "You were stabbed twice in rather critical parts of your body, you had other similar injuries, and you also lost a lot of blood. I wasn’t sure you would make it but I guess you really are as stubborn as Chanyeol said you were. It took you two whole months but here you are, mostly healthy even if you’ll probably feel really tired for a few days. There’s no lingering injuries or bad effects though, so you should be okay."

 

"What about Chanyeol?" he asked, meeting Yixing’s confused gaze. "Is he okay? Was he injured? Badly?"

 

Yixing simply observing him for a small silent second before letting out a light, surprised chuckle.

 

"I just told you you were stabbed twice and almost died and you only want to know if Chanyeol is okay?"

 

"Well, the last time you were with us I was there to make sure you’d bring him no harm but I’ve been out for two months now. Can’t be sure about what you did while I was asleep," he replied, hoping that the hoarseness of his voice didn’t hide the playful edge he wanted it to have. He supposed Yixing wasn’t a danger to them if he had managed to keep him alive.

 

"Well, I might have been a bit harsh with the needles I used on you just as a revenge for the knife against my neck but otherwise, I think I’ve been a good doctor to the both of you," Yixing shrugged, his smile turning a bit playful.

 

"Thank you," was the only thing Baekhyun could say, voice still weak but much clearer than his first croak.

 

"No need to thank me," the other shook his head and started stepping back. "I just hope you both know you’re really lucky to have each other. I’ll leave you two alone now, don’t tire yourself out too much. I’ll come back to check on you later."

 

And with that, Yixing was gone before Baekhyun even had the occasion to form a proper reply and suddenly, he was left alone with the only man who had ever been able to chase the loneliness away from his life.

 

He let his gaze fall back to Chanyeol, forgetting all about this rather odd encounter with Yixing when he noted how Chanyeol’s eyebrows were even more furrowed now, his lips curled down as well, as if he was really unhappy about something he was seeing behind his closed eyelids. Was he dreaming about that night? It wouldn’t be surprising, Chanyeol’s nightmares were rarely made out of fantasies and fears, they were always broken replays of horrible things that had happened to him in real life. 

 

For the first time ever, Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to properly talk him out of his fears if he were to wake him up as he didn’t even know what had happened that day. He only had small flashes and he tried focusing on them, closing his eyes for a few seconds and furrowing his eyebrows when the headache snarled at him, scratching against his temples in warning. He paid it no attention though, breathing slowly as he forced his mind to gather up whatever he remembered of that day, ignoring the pain. It wasn’t much, everything was clear up until the last moment, he remembered their last night, Chanyeol’s promise of never losing him, their whispered words of love and the last kiss they had shared before Chanyeol had left him to settle on his spot across the warehouse. He had infiltrated the house after that and he didn’t exactly remember everything but he knew he had went through the whole building before Minseok had suddenly taken him off-guard. He remembered feeling only half surprised, he had struggled a bit but had taken it easily, letting the other gain the upper hand and staying silent as he called Chanyeol to join them.

 

That was when it got a bit more difficult to visualize in his head, Chanyeol had talked with Minseok but he didn’t remember the whole content of the conversation. He just had small flashes that shone in his head bright enough to send pain clashing against his skull, flashes of Chanyeol telling Minseok that he would give him anything, flashes of Chanyeol giving up what was so important to them just for the sake of Baekhyun’s safety. It was blurry after that but Baekhyun remembered fighting Minseok. It had been difficult but he didn’t remember most of the fight, just a lot of pain. Pain that had suddenly turned into agony before it was all wiped away when he knew Minseok would make Chanyeol go through the same agony. The agony heightened after that, he had a red-tainted flash of throwing himself on Minseok and fighting him off a bit after screaming Chanyeol’s name. He had been stabbed a second time, he supposed.

 

He could still feel it, the blade piercing through his body without any difficulty, with the skill of someone who had done the same thing to dozens, maybe hundreds of victims before. It had been so painful, Minseok’s anger launched at him through that single action, but it didn’t seem too painful either now when he knew he had taken that agony in Chanyeol’s stead. Something lodged itself in his throat, his head throbbing with pain. Another flash, of him, on the floor, in the middle of a crimson pool flowing out of his own body, Chanyeol’s hand in his. Tears. There had been a lot of tears but they hadn’t been his, he hadn’t cried much. Baekhyun would never cry much if he knew the price he had paid was worth Chanyeol’s safety. It was painful but he had the echoes of a broken voice in his head, pleading and begging and crying for him. Gentle words, a last breath, happiness.

 

_‘I remember it all and you can’t fucking leave me with nothing but memories of you, Baekhyun.’_

 

That was it.

 

That was where it all stopped. There was nothing else. 

 

There was nothing else but that single sentence.

 

He felt something bubbling in his chest. His heart, maybe. Bubbles of happiness maybe, moving all around, jumping around, popping and multiplying and tickling him and letting hope surge through his veins. Chanyeol had said he remembered. He had said he remembered everything and Baekhyun didn’t know why and how it could’ve happened but he could barely even focus on anything else but the pure feeling of joy suddenly wrapping all around his body like a comforting embrace that suddenly pulled him out of the cold winter he had been trapped in for too long. Chanyeol remembered and somehow, it didn’t even feel real. He barely even remembered hearing those words, he didn’t even remember the look on Chanyeol’s face as he had pronounced them but they were enough to make him forget all about the numb limbs he barely even could lift off his bed. It didn’t feel real. He had waited to hear those words for so long and it was almost like a dream.

 

He suddenly forced himself to stray out of that thought, his breath hitching for a second. It felt like a dream. He didn’t remember much of what had happened in the last part of that night. It felt like a dream. What if it had really been a dream?

 

What if it had been nothing but the result of Baekhyun’s imagination? What if he had wished to hear those words from Chanyeol so much that he had merely dreamed them in the two months he had spent asleep and away from the real world? It could’ve been the case. He didn’t remember much. It could’ve all happened only in his head. The bubbles in his chest suddenly all popped at once, leaving nothing but a big void in their stead, a void that was gradually filled up by disappointment and the pain from finding himself crashing on the floor, ascending from the clouds of a dream he was still desperately clinging onto.

 

It could’ve been a dream.

 

His gaze focused back on Chanyeol and he took a deep breath in. It could’ve been a dream but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered right now was that Chanyeol was alive, that he was alive too, and that their hands were still tangled together, just like they had always been meant to. It didn’t matter for now and even if it somehow _did_ still matter, Baekhyun didn’t want to spoil everything by lingering on an issue he had promised himself long ago to never put much importance into. 

 

The only thing that mattered for now was that he was there, that Chanyeol was with him, and that sole thought was enough to warm his whole body up again, the gentle flames under the skin of Chanyeol’s hand caressing Baekhyun’s skin as well and calling for his attention back. Chanyeol was the only thing that mattered and for the first time since he woke up, Baekhyun realized that the void in his chest wasn’t exactly disappointment. 

 

Maybe it was just coming from the fact that he had spent two whole months away from Chanyeol despite the other seemingly always lingering by his side. He had missed him and maybe Chanyeol had missed him too. He probably had, Chanyeol had always been way softer than he was and he had always been the one to scold Baekhyun whenever they spent too much time apart when they were still two little kids trying to survive in the streets. It hadn’t changed, he thought as his lips curved into that smile Chanyeol always managed to coax out of him. Even now, he was still the same. Even now that they had both grown up, Chanyeol was still just as soft and tender, he still didn’t like spending too much time away from Baekhyun and the latter momentarily hated himself for having put Chanyeol through this.

 

Maybe it was time to put an end to it.

 

"Chanyeol," he called out softly, tightening his grip on the other’s hand, clutching his fingers harder as he didn’t have the strength to simply nudge him awake. The other simply furrowed his eyebrows even more, however, scrunching his nose a little bit as if he didn’t want to be disturbed from his sleep and Baekhyun had to bite his lip to keep his laughter in at the adorable sight. "Chanyeol," he called out a bit louder while gently running a thumb over the back of the other’s hand.

 

That seemed to do the trick because Chanyeol slowly started stirring, a small groan escaping his lips as he buried his head deeper against the sheets, rubbing his forehead against his arm a little bit. If he had such a hard time waking up, he must really be exhausted and Baekhyun felt bad for pulling him out of his slumber but he couldn’t help it, not when he had missed the other so much and watching him sleep wasn’t enough. He also knew that Chanyeol would probably get upset if he woke up hours later and found out that Baekhyun hadn’t bothered waking him up earlier.

 

It was still a bit endearing to watch Chanyeol slowly waking up though and he stayed silent after that, knowing that the other would open his eyes on his own in a bit, and simply waiting while still gently caressing his hand with his thumb. It took a few seconds but eventually, Chanyeol’s eyes fluttered open, his gaze dark and hooded as he stared ahead of him blankly, probably trying to pull himself out of sleep. Baekhyun’s heart squeezed in his chest when he couldn’t help but notice how dark his gaze was, however, and he knew that it wasn’t because he had just woken up. There was nothing but exhaustion and shadows in Chanyeol’s eyes, a bit of sadness maybe along with emptiness.

 

He remained silent, however, waiting quietly and watching as Chanyeol slowly brought his gaze down to their hands, as if he didn’t even want to look at Baekhyun’s face, as if he knew that the sight that would greet him would be the same one that had greeted him every day for the past two months. Baekhyun’s heartbeat suddenly fastened in anticipation and it was odd, Chanyeol always made his heartbeat go crazy but it was different this time, he wasn’t sure why it was happening now. It beat almost as painfully as it had months ago, when he had first met Chanyeol on the rooftop of a random building after years spent apart. It was painful. 

 

It had been painful that day too, when he had looked into Chanyeol’s eyes, talked to him, and fought him without the other even batting an eyelash at Baekhyun. Without Chanyeol recognizing him at all. His heartbeat had been painfully fast, agonizingly so and it had eventually pushed him to simply let the rage take over and make him stab the man whose memory he had clung onto in order to be able to live for nearly ten years. He had wanted Chanyeol to feel the same pain he felt, at that time, he had wanted the other to feel as if his heart was being sliced into tiny pieces, as if someone had shoved their hand into his chest to pull the life out of him. He had wanted Chanyeol to suffer as much as he had, he had wanted Chanyeol to understand but it hadn’t happened. He had looked fine, so healthy and well, without Baekhyun. And maybe that had been why he had hurt the other that day.

 

That wasn’t the case today, however. Chanyeol looked anything but fine, there was no light in his eyes. There had always been shadows clinging to Chanyeol but it was as if they had multiplied while Baekhyun had been asleep, as if Chanyeol had been trapped into a dark room with no hint of light to keep him alive or guide him out. Today, Baekhyun didn’t have the same desire for Chanyeol to suffer like he had that day. On the contrary, he wished he could absorb that pain and keep it to himself, to make sure Chanyeol would never feel anything but happy and safe, nothing like the void  darkness in his eyes suggested now.

 

However, as soon as the other finally noticed that Baekhyun’s thumb was drawing gentle circles on the back of his hand, his eyes widened and he snapped his gaze up to land it on Baekhyun instead. The shadows in his eyes slowly retracted, simmering down and crawling back and away all of a sudden, as if Chanyeol had finally managed to find a source of light in the dark and empty room he had been trapped in until this exact moment. Baekhyun felt his lips curving up into a wide, gentle smile and Chanyeol always told him that he was like light but at that moment, Baekhyun couldn’t help but think that Chanyeol was shining brighter than even the warmest of sunsets.

 

"Well, it took you a while to notice I was here. Did you perhaps grow even slower and rustier that you already were while I was away?"

 

His voice still felt a bit hoarse but it had cleared up, it would would probably be even better once he’d get to drink some water, but he was almost proud of himself when it echoed with amusement and mirth in his own head, right next to his headache’s dance against his temples. However, what felt even better was the way Chanyeol’s expression suddenly went from almost blank to surprised, and then to pure happiness.

 

He only heard an unnecessarily loud call of his name in that voice he loved so much before suddenly, he found himself locked in an equally familiar embrace, strong arms wrapping around him as much as they could when he was still lying on a bed. He could only let out something halfway between a cough and a chuckle when Chanyeol’s quite heavy body started pressing down on his chest as almost his whole upper body laid on top of Baekhyun. He was probably on the verge of falling off his chair as he hugged Baekhyun tighter than he ever had. Or maybe not, Chanyeol’s hug were always tight and Baekhyun had missed this feeling. He had missed the way he always fit perfectly in Chanyeol’s embrace, as if it was meant to be given to no one else but him. He had missed how safe and secure it felt to just give himself away to the other, knowing that Chanyeol would never ever let any harm touch him and would always do everything he could to protect him, just like Baekhyun would do. Just like Baekhyun had done. 

 

Most importantly, he had missed how warm it always was to simply let the other hug him, as if the flames nestled somewhere deep inside of Chanyeol fluttered at the mere contact with Baekhyun and grew stronger, wanting to reach out to him, wanting to impress him and convince him to never get too far away. Or maybe they were just reaching out to the cold gasoline splattered all over Baekhyun’s existence, rendering him so easy to be set ablaze at once and destroy anything on his path, including himself. Maybe that was it, because that was how it felt to be loved by Chanyeol and love him back just as ardently. It was warm, cozy, safe and secure from cold nights and chilly breezes, but sometimes it was suffocating, like smoke seeping into his lungs, like ashes crowding him up and burying him down, the fire painful and the flames sometimes too big even for him to control them. 

 

It never mattered, however, because he was never alone in those flames, Chanyeol was always there to hold his hand.

 

"I hate you so fucking much," he heard, Chanyeol’s voice muffled against his neck and maybe a little wobbly. There it was, Baekhyun thought, those flames. Those flames were surrounding them again, suffocating him and Chanyeol, but Baekhyun had missed them and he could barely even breathe but he enjoyed being locked in those flames more than he ever had. "I really hate you."

 

"Is that why you’re trying to crush me?" he couldn’t help but laugh softly, ignoring the way his own voice was wobbly to his ears and simply raising his arms with a bit of difficulty to wrap them around Chanyeol, to keep him there a little longer despite his own words.

 

Chanyeol didn't seem to share the same intention, however, and he quickly pulled away, as if burned by the realization that he had been hurting Baekhyun. The latter was relieved and could breathe more easily without the extra weight on his chest but it didn’t mean he enjoyed breathing more than being in Chanyeol’s embrace so he furrowed his eyebrows in protest.

 

"Did I hurt you?" Chanyeol immediately asked, eyebrows furrowed and eyes quickly traveling all over Baekhyun’s body, as if he could detect every single injury and tend to them himself.

 

"No, silly," he chuckled softly, letting his hand crawl across the bed to grab Chanyeol’s again. His hand was warm. Being stuck in darkness for two whole months had felt cold.

 

"Well, then," the other said before his features took on that expression he always had on whenever he was unhappy with something and Baekhyun was the reason behind it. He didn’t mind. He liked being the source of every single feeling traveling over Chanyeol’s features, no matter how bad it could be sometimes. "I still hate you so fucking much because I thought you wouldn’t come back to me and it was so fucking scary, Baekhyun. I swear, you never realize what you do to me and it hurt so much and I was so fucking scared without you. You left me alone through so many dark nights and I don’t even know if there ever was anything but nights through these two months but I really fucking hate you."

 

Baekhyun took in every single one of the words, silently listening to Chanyeol voicing out his frustrations and knowing that there was so much more to it than he was saying. It was obvious in the way his skin was still so pale, in the way his hands were almost trembling, and in the way he was barely even blinking as he looked at Baekhyun, as if he was scared that the latter would disappear if he didn’t constantly keep an eye on him. There was so much more to it but Baekhyun didn’t say anything, simply listening because he knew Chanyeol didn’t hate him, he knew Chanyeol loved him with every single inch of his dark soul and that was the only reason why he was talking like that. 

 

He simply made sure to tangle their fingers together, never once looking away from Chanyeol because maybe he was also scared that he would disappear and leave him locked up in his own mind again. The smile never once left his lips either as he took in the way Chanyeol was so agitated but so _alive_ and when he was done speaking, his chest heaving up a bit in result of all the words he had rambled while barely even breathing, Baekhyun simply let his thumb draw gentle circles on the back of his hand again.

 

"I’m sorry," he whispered, voice carrying nothing but honesty and regret to Chanyeol’s ears. The latter’s eyes were puffy from lack of sleep but mainly because Chanyeol’s eyes always got puffy whenever he was about to cry, always reddening a bit when he tried his hardest to keep the tears in. 

 

It was easier for Baekhyun to keep his tears in, he had more practice from all those years he had had to stop himself from crying to comfort Chanyeol who might have always been taller and stronger than him even in their childhood but still always refused to go to sleep without holding Baekhyun’s hand. _It’s to make sure I don’t lose the light halfway through the night, to make sure I can survive,_ he used to say. Even now, he was always holding Baekhyun’s hand before sleeping. He used to do it two months ago and he would probably do it even twenty years from now.

 

"I’m sorry," Baekhyun repeated when Chanyeol remained silent, his wide eyes red and puffy but his hold on Baekhyun’s fingers so strong the latter knew nothing would ever snatch him away. He was biting his lower lip so hard, the already chapped and dry skin bruising a little more under his lips. He always did that when he was trying to get a grip of himself. It used to take longer, sometimes a whole minute before he let go and took a deep breath. Now, it took only a few seconds and Baekhyun wondered if Chanyeol had grown up even more while he was away. It was regretful, he had missed two months more of Chanyeol’s life. "But I’m here now," he finally said, voice breaking a little bit and only when Chanyeol brought a hand up to trail gentle fingers over his cheek did he notice that his skin was wet. Maybe he could allow himself a moment of weakness, just this once. "And I'm not going anywhere."

 

Chanyeol took a deep breath in, curving his lips into a light smile, the accusation in his eyes suddenly turning a bit playful as he cradled Baekhyun’s cheek, his thumb collecting the tiny tear that slid right under his eye.

 

"You’re not going anywhere," the taller repeated, maybe to reassure Baekhyun, maybe to reassure himself. "I sure as hell am not letting you go anywhere," he suddenly said and Baekhyun chuckled softly, tightening his fingers around Chanyeol’s. The latter’s other hand remained against his cheek and Baekhyun leaned into the warmth. "I think I’m really going to tie you to a bed one day. Preferably this bed because I’m sure you’ll manage to get yourself into trouble even when tied to a bed so at least, Yixing would be here to fix you up when needed."

 

"I’ve been back for less than twenty minutes and you already want to tie me to your bed? I see you’ve really missed me," he drawled out teasingly, happiness blossoming in his chest when Chanyeol gave him his usual exasperated look before laughing softly.

 

Chanyeol then sighed, letting his other hand drop from Baekhyun’s cheek to hold the latter’s hand with both of his, lifting it up to press his lips against Baekhyun’s pale knuckles, spreading warmth through his whole hand. Baekhyun took a trembling breath in as he watched Chanyeol close his eyes, still holding Baekhyun’s hand tightly between his and letting his head drop so he could press his forehead against their laced hands. His heart was still beating so quickly in his chest and it was ridiculous but Baekhyun had always loved this feeling.

 

"I really missed you so damn much," he mumbled, almost as if he was talking to himself more than to Baekhyun who couldn’t help but smile at those words. "I really thought you were going to…" he trailed off but Baekhyun didn’t need the end of his sentence to understand him.

 

"I missed you too," he replied honestly, voice trembling a bit with emotion before he got a grip of himself and smiled. "C’mon, you wouldn’t get rid of me so easily. I thought you had more faith in me."

 

"I do have faith in you… It was just really bad," the other mumbled and Baekhyun bit his lower lip, knowing that there were things they had to talk about.

 

"What happened?" he asked hesitantly.

 

Chanyeol’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

 

"You don’t remember?" he asked.

 

Baekhyun simply shook his head. "Not everything. I have small flashes but I don’t remember how I got here, for example," he explained quickly, not wanting to worry Chanyeol too much. Then, he bit his lips again, hesitating before pronouncing his next words. "I guess I know how you feel now," he said with what he hoped passed off as a playful smile. He shouldn’t do this but he needed to know whether it had been a dream or not.

 

"I guess you do," Chanyeol simply chuckled even if the sound carried no trace of joy whatsoever. He didn’t deny forgetting everything. He didn’t correct Baekhyun by telling him he remembered now. Maybe it had been a dream. Or maybe Chanyeol hadn’t heard the question underneath his words. "It’s normal that you don’t remember how you got here, you passed out from too much blood loss before I brought you here. Even I don’t remember much, actually. I wasn’t in any state to pay attention to anything but you."

 

"I’d still like to know," he insisted softly, squeezing Chanyeol’s hand a bit harder. He knew it might be hard for Chanyeol to recall that experience but he still needed to know exactly what happened or he’d have to force on his memories and it would be too painful.

 

"You were fighting Minseok and I was fighting Jongdae, you remember that, right?" the other sighed softly, caving in easily just like he always did. Baekhyun simply nodded, silently asking him to continue. "You were gaining the upper hand at first but Minseok managed to stab you once, I guess. I didn’t hear because I was too focused on Jongdae and I’m really sorry for that. I guess he thought he was done with you and tried attacking me from behind instead but you threw yourself at him and when you called my name, it was already too late. He already stabbed you and he was going to do it a third time but I managed to prevent it. It was useless though, the harm was already done and you were in a bad state. I called Yixing as soon as I could and I brought you here as quickly as I could too but it was really bad and I barely even realized what was happening. The only thing I could think about was that it all happened because I didn’t pay enough attention to you in the first place and-"

 

"It wasn’t your fault, Chanyeol-ah," he cut the other off instantly, as soon as he heard those words. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want Chanyeol to find yet another mistake to blame on himself. He already had so many things to feel guilty about and Baekhyun didn’t want to add something else to the list when it hadn’t even been his fault. He simply caught the other’s fleeting gaze and gave him a reassuring smile. "I could’ve simply waited for you to turn around and notice after calling your name. I’m the one who chose to throw myself at Minseok and I’m the one who wanted to take that wound instead of you. And I don’t regret it at all," he said, making sure to keep his tone firm and final, hoping that Chanyeol would understand him.  
  
Because it was true, he could’ve dealt with it another way. He could’ve called for Chanyeol’s attention earlier and maybe Chanyeol would’ve also noticed that Minseok was approaching him on his own. Things could’ve happened differently but Baekhyun didn’t regret anything. He had done it because he had wanted to. He had done it because Chanyeol was important enough for him to give his life away without batting a eye. And if it were to happen again, he would do the same thing and nothing would stop him. He would do it if it meant that Chanyeol would be safe.

 

And maybe the latter already knew all of that. Maybe he knew and maybe he also knew that he would’ve done the same thing had he been in Baekhyun’s shoes. Maybe that was why he simply smiled at Baekhyun and leaned down until he could press his chapped lips against Baekhyun’s equally dry ones, the kiss a bit rough because of the state they were both in but Baekhyun wouldn’t trade it for anything else. He wouldn’t trade those gentle shadows embracing his lights and balancing them out for anything else. He wouldn’t trade the way he could feel Chanyeol’s heart beating so fast against his for anything else. He wouldn’t trade Chanyeol for anything else, not even his own life.

 

"It’s alright now," Chanyeol whispered against his lips before pulling away and settling back on his seat, a smile lingering on his lips. The void in his eyes was gone, his eyes were shining more than they had when he had woken up and Baekhyun liked to think that it was all because of him. "It doesn’t matter because you’re okay now and Minseok is dead."

 

"He's dead?" Baekhyun asked because it should’ve been obvious but he didn’t remember witnessing Minseok’s death and he couldn’t prevent the way his heart froze in his chest for a second.

 

"He is. I killed him," Chanyeol nodded, the line of his jaw suddenly tensing up as if he recalled the exact moment he had done it. 

 

Baekhyun gently ran his thumb over the other’s knuckles, knowing that it probably hadn’t been an easy thing to do. Minseok might have been nothing but cruel and disgusting to them at the end, and maybe throughout his whole life but Chanyeol wasn’t like Baekhyun, he couldn't let go of things as easily. He had grown up with Minseok and maybe he hadn’t been as important as Junmyeon had but he had been in Chanyeol’s life for so long and Baekhyun knew it probably hadn’t been easy for Chanyeol to do it. 

 

However, he wouldn’t deny the fact that he was proud of the other, even if he had planned to take Minseok’s life with his own hands. He was proud and relief mixed along with that feeling, enveloping his heart and coaxing it back into a gentle and joyful dance. 

 

"We’re free then," he whispered, more because of the emotion pooling in his chest than because of physical restraint and pain.

 

They were free. Free to love each other without fearing anyone separating them, free to hold hands without having to pull each other around and run away from danger, and free to finally live without guilt and mistakes weighing down heavily on their conscience. It was odd to tell himself that everything had finally ended. It almost seemed like a dream that Baekhyun hadn’t know he had craved to make real until this exact moment, when Chanyeol smiled at him with that wide grin that showed almost every single one of his teeth, that adorable dimple peeking at him and lulling him into that gentle dreamy state he always found himself in whenever Chanyeol smiled at him like that. 

 

"We’re free," Chanyeol repeated, voice falling to a gentle whisper to match Baekhyun’s tone but the joy obvious in the way those words almost bubbled out of his mouth, as if he had waited so long to be able to tell them to Baekhyun. And maybe he had. "We’re free and together. Just like we promised, right?"

 

"Just like we promised," Baekhyun chuckled softly and it was so odd, the way even after almost fifteen years since the very first time Chanyeol smiled at him, that smile was still the only one that would ever be able to make his insides feel all warm and fuzzy. Maybe it wasn’t that odd, because Baekhyun somehow knew for sure that the way his heart beat so crazily for Chanyeol wouldn’t change even in fifty years from now.

 

"I wish I could’ve been there to witness it and help you until the end though," Baekhyun sighed after a few silent seconds. "I guess I just wasn’t strong enough."

 

"Stop talking nonsense," Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, his voice taking on that edge it always had whenever he thought Baekhyun was being stupid. It was almost funny, it would’ve been if Baekhyun wasn’t overwhelmed by regret. "You did your best until the end and you’re the strongest person I know, Baekhyun. You fought until the end and even when you were already badly hurt, you still continued to fight just for me. You literally threw yourself to death just to protect me and I don’t think you realize but you almost _died._ You would’ve died, if you hadn’t been strong and stubborn enough to come back to me so I don’t want to hear anything so stupid coming out of your mouth again or I swear, I’ll really tie you somewhere and use duck tape so you’ll be out of danger _and_ silent."

 

The only thing Baekhyun could do was laugh softly, knowing that saying anything that could offend Chanyeol would either lead the other to get actually angry or just stretch this argument. And maybe the other was right. Maybe he also liked the fact that Chanyeol saw him as a strong person and was ready to remind him that he was whenever Baekhyun was tired of reminding it to himself.

 

"Fine, I’m sorry. You’re right," he said softly, choosing to focus on nothing but the way Chanyeol’s smile warmed him up, his gaze dropping to their tangled fingers. "But you keep talking about tying me up and I’m afraid to say you’re all bark and no bite," he then couldn’t help but tease the other, looking at him through his lashes the way he knew always did _something_ to Chanyeol.

 

However, the latter seemed to be prepared this time and he simply narrowed his eyes, mirth and amusement dancing in those wide, dark orbs. 

 

"I think we should stop talking about tying you up to bed while we’re in Yixing’s house unless you want him to kick us out for indecency," Chanyeol playfully warned him, pulling soft laughter out of Baekhyun.

 

It was nice. He had missed being able to laugh with Chanyeol in such a carefree way and maybe the price he had to pay for them to be able to even reach this point in their life had been worth it.

 

However, there was still a thought unwilling to dim down in Baekhyun’s head and the longer he observed Chanyeol’s smile, the more he felt the need to ask. Chanyeol had lost so many of the shadows in his eyes, he looked so sure of himself, despite simultaneously looking sick and exhausted. Something had obviously changed about him and maybe it was just the result of the happiness brought by Baekhyun’s awakening but the latter still hoped that there was something else. He still hoped that the clarity all around Chanyeol was caused by the fact that he _remembered._ Maybe Chanyeol would’ve told him himself, maybe it would’ve been his first words to Baekhyun as soon as the latter woke up and maybe Baekhyun was just deluding himself with stupid wishes and hopes but he needed to know. He needed to ask.

 

He parted his lips, taking a deep breath in and preparing himself to ask a question he had promised the other to never ask again weeks, months ago. He needed to know. He needed to ask a last time, the last time ever before he could open up a whole new chapter of their life. He needed to ask.

 

However, before he even had the occasion to form the words he wanted to say, a loud sound coming from the door interrupted him and he turned to look at it, surprise filling him up and chasing every other thought away when his gaze landed on someone he hadn’t expected to see.

 

"I heard that someone managed to get the light bulb to work again without us having to completely change it for a better one," were the words that immediately helped Baekhyun decide that he didn’t appreciate the man who had brutally barged into his room, with those lips curled into a somehow feline yet sly smile and a voice that was far more amused than Baekhyun appreciated.

 

Or maybe it was just the fact that he seemed to think his rather lame and childish pun was the best thing he had ever created.

 

"Can’t you be more gentle when you open the door, Jongdae?" Chanyeol’s reprimanding voice arose next to him but Baekhyun still didn’t turn his narrowed eyes away from the intruder.

 

"Or you could’ve just not opened the door at all," he said, hoping that his sudden distaste for the other was obvious in his voice. "What is he even doing here, Chanyeol?" 

 

His voice had suddenly taken a reprimanding tone as well but Baekhyun couldn’t help it, not when the last memory he had of Jongdae was of him fighting Chanyeol off that night and choosing Minseok’s side rather than theirs. There might not be any kind of direct danger now since Chanyeol didn’t seem to be bothered by the other’s presence but that didn’t mean Baekhyun wasn’t either and he wondered if it was finally time to see whether he had gotten rusty or not after two months of being stuck in a bed, unconscious.

 

"Well, Sleeping Beauty’s awake now, there’s no need to be as quiet and moody as usual, Chanyeol" Jongdae snorted, completely ignoring Baekhyun’s words until he finally looked at him, his eyes shining with an amused glint that seemed brighter than it was in _normal_ people’s eyes. "And I was actually here to collect Chanyeol like I've been collecting him every morning for the past two months but Yixing told me you were awake so i came here to greet you. You should thank me, Light Bulb, not snarl at me."

 

"Well, either way you're late," Chanyeol quirked an eyebrow. "You were supposed to be here half an hour ago."

 

"I was diligently working all night while you were sleeping," the other mirrored Chanyeol’s expression, albeit much more playfully.

 

"There’s lipstick stains on the collar of your shirt. Three different colors," Chanyeol snorted and Baekhyun wasn’t sure whether he was really reprimanding Jongdae for being late or for something else.

 

"You’re with him now?" Baekhyun suddenly asked Chanyeol, not finding it difficult to connect the pieces.

 

"I am," the taller nodded with a light smile.

 

"Are you sure that’s a good idea?" Baekhyun asked, more worried rather than angry at Jongdae’s bad puns now. He had been on Minseok’s side after all, he had been _with_ Minseok.

 

"Yeah, don’t worry," Chanyeol said, glancing at Jongdae who had fallen silent now before looking back at Baekhyun. "I know what you’re thinking but it’s not like that anymore. Without him, we might’ve actually not won that night. I was too shocked by the state you were in to do anything for a while and Minseok was about to attack me while I was unaware but Jongdae prevented him from doing so and tried stopping him," Chanyeol explained and surprise filled Baekhyun up. He glanced at Jongdae, noting that the amused glint had totally vanished from his eyes, replaced by shadows that seemed to seep under his eyes, digging dark bags there. His cheeks were prodding more than Baekhyun remembered, he was skinnier. "He also stuck around afterwards to help me with everything."

 

"I didn't really have the choice, you were kind of a mess," Jongdae shrugged, looking at Baekhyun afterwards. "It was a really amusing experience now that I think about it. He often walked into closed doors, literally, and then blamed me for not telling him the doors were closed. I think he went a little crazy over these past two months," Jongdae said while lowering his voice, as if he was sharing a secret.

 

"He doesn’t need to know that," Chanyeol mumbled from next to him, frowning and glaring daggers at Jongdae who looked totally unfazed and mainly amused.

 

"Yes, I do," Baekhyun snorted, amusement filling him up when it earned him an offended look from Chanyeol.

 

"Don’t worry, I’ll tell you everything you need to know later," Jongdae grinned, his smile a bit too wide and hiding a bit of slyness but harmful nonetheless as it pulled Baekhyun’s lips into an amused smile as well.

 

Maybe Jongdae wasn’t that bad.

 

Especially not if he had been there to keep Chanyeol grounded while Baekhyun hadn’t been there. He knew how much of a mess Chanyeol could turn to and he was perfectly aware of how difficult these past two months must have been for him, even if he still hadn’t asked much about what had happened. He wanted to live in peace for even a few minutes longer, without having to worry about the outer world.

 

"I don’t think it was a good idea to let you two meet," Chanyeol mumbled but Baekhyun managed to catch on the relieved glint in his eyes. 

 

"It’s not like you had the choice," Jongdae snorted.

 

"Thank you, Jongdae," Baekhyun said, putting an end to what he suspected was about to turn into a childish argument. His voice carried nothing but honesty and it seemed to surprise Jongdae who gave him an odd look.

 

"What for?" he asked, as if he really had no clue. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe he regretted a lot of things.

 

"For being there for Chanyeol while I was away," he started, giving Chanyeol’s hand a gentle squeeze and smiling at him before turning back to Jongdae. There was no amusement or glint left in his eyes. "And for helping him that night too. I know it must have been difficult to choose and I know it probably still is difficult because Minseok wasn’t just…" he trailed off, unable to finish that sentence when he saw the sudden darkness that seemed to shroud Jongdae’s whole body, obvious in his features and in the way he seemed to suddenly tense up. Almost as if he had done his best not to think about that name until this exact moment. "Just, thank you," he finished, hoping that the other would understand.

 

Silence fell over the whole room for a few seconds and Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, wondering if he really shouldn't have said all that and almost regretting it. However, Chanyeol simply gave him something that looked like a grateful smile, caressing the back of his hand with his thumb.

 

"It’s okay," Jongdae then said but his voice wasn’t amused or playful anymore. It wasn’t anything. Just resigned and empty. He seemed to take a deep breath in before continuing. "It was the right thing to do. He…" Jongdae trailed off, as if it was painful to talk about Minseok even without pronouncing his name. Baekhyun was familiar with that kind of pain and pushed by a wave of relief and gratefulness, his tightened his hold on Chanyeol’s hand, maybe to reassure himself. "He didn’t love me. He would’ve never loved me. He was just using me and I guess it took me a while and a bit of help to understand," he continued, giving Chanyeol what seemed to be a sad smile. 

 

It was odd, Baekhyun didn’t personally know Jongdae but he had the feeling the other was usually never sad.

 

"It was still very brave of you to help us in the end," he shrugged, not wanting to dwell on it too much but not wanting to discredit Jongdae either. He had helped them, after all.

 

"Well, I didn’t do much," the other chuckled, almost bitterly. "I didn’t even do it it to help you two actually, I just did it to free myself. Though I guess I had a hard time doing it. I couldn’t even kill him, I would’ve never been able to. Chanyeol ended up being the hero," he shrugged, lips curling into a faint smile again. Maybe it was forced but Jongdae seemed to be strong enough to recover at one point. Baekhyun hoped he would.

 

"Chanyeol always liked playing the hero," Baekhyun said to change the course of the conversation, giving Chanyeol a teasing smile that earned him a groan.

 

"Oh, I know," Jongdae chuckled lightly, seemingly back to his usual self in the blink of an eye. "I remember he got drunk out of his mind a long time ago and asked everyone around him to call him Super Sniper. I almost managed to convince him to buy pink tights and wear them for the rest of the night."

 

"No one fucking asked you, Jongdae," Chanyeol groaned in embarrassment and Baekhyun burst into laughter, Jongdae following behind almost instantly.

 

Maybe they would actually get along very well.

 

Maybe that was exactly what Chanyeol wanted because he soon laughed along with them and Baekhyun hadn’t felt so happy and free in such a long time. Maybe that was what he finally was, happy and free to be with the man he loved without fearing anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Where are we going?"

 

"You asked twice already and my reply isn’t going to change since I’m not Chanyeol and I don’t get all mushy and weak when you look at me. You’ll see, just be patient for once in your life," Jongdae replied, obviously exasperated but still highly amused by the torture he was putting Baekhyun through, if the wide and snarky smile curled on his lips was of any indication.

 

A whole week had passed since the very first time Jongdae had given him that annoying smile and Baekhyun came to find out that it didn’t get less annoying as time passed. On the contrary, the more time he spent with Jongdae, the more irritating the other seemed whenever he didn’t just comply to what Baekhyun said or worse, kept annoying him with lame puns and weird conversations. Chanyeol had said the day he had woken up at Yixing's house that they would get along well because they were a bit similar in their attitude and Baekhyun didn’t know whether Chanyeol was blind or not but he had nothing in common with this constantly smirking and amused man who loved to tease him with puns about his name time and time again.

 

Though, maybe he was feeling particularly irritated today because he was finally allowed to be discharged from Yixing’s own hospital gathered in a small room of his surprisingly huge house and instead of being there with him, Chanyeol had sent Jongdae. He supposed he should be understanding, Chanyeol was much busier than he used to be now that he was at the head of Cobra and Baekhyun wasn’t even supposed to be out yet anyway. Yixing had told him many times that it would be better if he stayed under his care for a few more days but Baekhyun had felt suffocated in that small room. He might have started an argument with Chanyeol over his discharge at least once a day since he had woken but he had managed to convince the other at the end.

 

Chanyeol had been supposed to be with him, however, and he hadn’t said anything when they had talked about it this morning. He always spent his nights with Baekhyun, even if he sometimes came in when it was way past midnight because he had meetings to attend and people to deal with. He always spent as much time as possible with Baekhyun, never leaving him before lunch time but he had unexpectedly had to leave in the morning today, without saying much. Baekhyun had at least hoped that he would come back to bring him home in the afternoon but Jongdae had been the one to barge into his room with a wide grin and Baekhyun hadn’t returned the smile even once since then, barely even glancing at the other as he drove him to an undisclosed destination. Fortunately, he didn’t feel awkward, Jongdae had visited him enough times for Baekhyun to be able to call him a decent person whenever he wasn’t upset or angry.

 

He supposed he should get used to this anyway, he probably wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with Chanyeol as they used to now that he was the leader of a wide crime group that had a huge influence over most of the city. It was odd to think of Chanyeol as _Cobra’s_ leader but it felt a bit nice at the same time. That was what he had been supposed to be since the very first day and Baekhyun couldn’t help but still take a bit of pride at the fact that Chanyeol had kept his promise, keeping both him and Cobra in his hands by the end of a long battle.

 

He had been reluctant at first, when Chanyeol had first told him he wanted to take over Cobra and even now, he was still aware of how dangerous their life had suddenly gotten, much worse than before. But maybe he still felt a bit odd about it only because Chanyeol had refused to share any kind of information about Cobra just because he didn’t want to stress Baekhyun out about it.

 

Sighing, he finally turned to Jongdae who still had that calm but sly smile on his lips as he continued driving without paying attention to Baekhyun.

 

"How did things go when Chanyeol took over Cobra?" he finally asked, carefully wording his question as he didn’t want to mention anything or anyone who would be painful to Jongdae. He appreciated him enough to do that, at least.

 

"He didn’t take over Cobra," Jongdae simply said.

 

"What?" Baekhyun stupidly asked, surprise and confusion making him unable to phrase a proper question.

 

"He lied to you actually, he started working for an electricity company instead," Jongdae deadpanned.

 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Baekhyun snapped, confusion only heightening when Jongdae looked at him for a second, that wide, mocking smile finding its place back on his lips.

 

"Just kidding," he eventually said but Baekhyun somehow wasn’t sure whether it had been a joke or not since the smile was still there and it still seemed to hide things only Jongdae himself understood. 

 

That didn’t mean Baekhyun was pleased with that little useless joke, however, and he made sure that the other would know by glaring at him until he actually noticed it which took a few seconds longer than Baekhyun would’ve liked. The result wasn’t appreciated either when Jongdae simply let out an unpleasant cackle.

 

"Well, it went rather smoothly actually," Jongdae shrugged when he seemed to finally want to reply to the actual question, keeping his eyes on the road. They were still in the city, at least. "Most people were left with no clue as to what to do since there wasn’t anyone left to lead them after that night," he said, the line of his jaw tensing up for a second at those words and causing him to stop talking.

 

It was still painful, Baekhyun knew it. Chanyeol had told him so, because Jongdae spent his nights with too many people, too many women who left traces of lipstick or small marks on Jongdae’s neck but were never enough to do more than just distract him from the pain for a short moment. Baekhyun had asked if that wasn’t considered normal for Jongdae as he had always been the kind to spent his nights in clubs from Baekhyun’s observations when he still was just a shadow watching all of them from afar, too scared to strike. Chanyeol had shrugged, shaking his head and telling him that it wasn’t, not when there were too many women, much more than before, and certainly not when the reason why he was doing this had completely changed. 

 

He had also told him he would get better though, because Jongdae was stronger than he looked and the ice spike still planted in his heart would slowly melt away with time. Baekhyun sincerely hoped that one day, Jongdae’s teasing smile wouldn’t seem too forced, as if his whole being was frozen and he had to carve the curl of his lips into ice every morning, after an exhausting but unsatisfying night.

 

"So yeah, it was easy for Chanyeol to just walk in and claim himself as the new leader," Jongdae continued after seemingly managing to get a grip of himself. "Well, actually it did take a lot of shouting and threatening but there wasn’t too many opposing people. I guess the worst of them were already killed and the rest was tired enough to just accept Chanyeol as their new leader. It took almost a month to settle things properly without having to kill everyone but he took over at last and now he’s been the leader for a month."

 

"How is he?" Baekhyun asked, worrying his lower lip under his teeth. Chanyeol had refused to share anything and Baekhyun wasn’t sure whether it was because he was literally living a nightmare or because he just really didn’t want to stress him out.

 

"He’s great," Jongdae shrugged, lips curving into a more genuine smile as he glanced at Baekhyun. "It was a bit difficult to adjust at first and I think it’s still difficult now but no one has really complained until now and he’s good at leading anyway. He knows what he’s doing, most of the time at least," he added as if in afterthought.

 

"I’m not sure I’m entirely reassured," Baekhyun couldn’t help but snort.

 

Chanyeol was made for this and he knew it, Seungsoo had known, Junmyeon had known, and even Kyungsoo had known. Baekhyun remembered how Kyungsoo had asked Chanyeol if he wanted to take over Cobra before deciding on anything and his heart still squeezed painfully in his chest at the memory of the friend he had lost. It was getting better though. Slowly but surely.

 

"Don’t worry too much, it’s okay for now," Jongdae said, pulling Baekhyun out of his thoughts. "And I’m sure he’ll be even better at what he’s doing once you’ll be there to help him."

 

"I will be," Baekhyun said absentmindedly but firmly.

 

He would be there, to help Chanyeol. Whatever the other wanted to do, Baekhyun would always be by his side to help and make sure he’d be okay. Maybe it was dangerous, and maybe this hadn’t always been what he wanted but Baekhyun had promised to never ever let go of Chanyeol’s hand and he would do anything to keep that promise. Moreover, it was already obvious that they made the best team, that they would always be successful at what they wanted to do as long as they’d be together.

 

"Well, here we are," Jongdae said and Baekhyun only then noticed that he had stopped the car.

 

He turned to look out of the window and as soon as he realized where they were, his heart suddenly froze before going crazy in his ribcage, seemingly scaring his breath away because he found himself suffocating for a few seconds. 

 

In front of him, stood the house he had left his childhood and his hopes in years ago. It was a huge house, Baekhyun used to like calling it a mansion because it sounded powerful and like the perfect word to describe what that big house with the hallways that felt like a maze looked in the eyes of the twelve years old boy he was when he had first stepped into it. He used to like those hallways. He used to like chasing Chanyeol down those hallways.

 

It was just as he remembered and yet, it was so different than how he remembered Seungsoo’s house to be. It was huge, there was still a gate keeping it away from unwanted visitors but what had once been a beautiful black gate was now rusty and chipped, he knew that touching it with his bare hands would probably irritate his skin. It was huge, but it looked so small, so empty. Or maybe it looked even bigger because Baekhyun knew every single one of the ghosts hidden behind those dark, dirty walls. The surface had once been a beautiful white color, not too welcoming but not too scary either. It had looked clean years ago, it had looked cleaner than the streets he had spent years living in with Chanyeol.

 

It was different now, however, and he felt his heart roaring in pain as he realized that of course, it looked different. It was empty. There was no one left to care about the garden he used to find unexpected in a mafia leader’s living place. There was no one to make sure the walls would remain bright and out of the vegetation’s greed to climb up and cover every little surface they could find. It was an empty house, it had been empty for years, and yet, Baekhyun felt his chest filling up with the memories and the pain of what now seemed like another life. A life that he wasn’t sure he missed, but a life that he was sure he didn’t hate.

 

"What are we doing here?" he asked Jongdae, not once letting his gaze stray away from the house standing a few feet in front of him. 

 

He was still inside the car, parked right in front of the gates and yet, Baekhyun felt his soul shivering with the cold oozing out of the empty house he had once lived in with a patched up family he had thought real. He could barely recognize the house but somehow, his trembly and weak voice was even more unfamiliar to him.

 

"Chanyeol said he would meet you here as soon as he’d be done with business," Jongdae said, his choice soft and gentler than Baekhyun had ever heard. "Go inside, he’ll be there soon."

 

Baekhyun almost felt like laughing but the need to ask _why_ was stronger. However, Jongdae wouldn’t know. Jongdae probably didn’t even know where they were either. Chanyeol probably didn’t know either. He probably didn’t remember.

 

Everything around him was almost blurry as he got out of the car without even being able to throw any other word at Jongdae, unable to take his eyes off the place that had thrown his whole life upside down. Twice. His life had been thrown upside down twice, in this same exact place.

 

The chipped paint on the gates indeed felt harsh against his skin as he pushed the rusty door open, not sure whether the loud and pained groan he heard was coming from the old door or his wounded heart bleeding all over again. The small path that led to the house wasn’t long, it was still as boring and unnecessary as Baekhyun remembered it to be. The only difference was that the path wasn’t even there, grass and weeds had almost completely covered the gravy, the tiny stones that used to be there almost entirely painted green. He knew exactly where to step, however, and maybe the most striking difference was that ten years ago, Baekhyun had never once felt like turning back and running away from this place with every single step he took towards the mansion.

 

The door was still taller than Baekhyun, it still looked welcoming and repulsing at the same time. However, Baekhyun pushed the heavy door open easily now whereas ten years ago, he had to put his whole strength into opening the door if he was alone to do it. It wasn’t locked and somehow, that wasn’t even surprising.

 

Oddly, he still felt _home_ when he stepped inside and let his burning eyes travel around the entrance hall. It was wide and Baekhyun had always liked how wide the house was because it meant that he could run around and be as loud as he wanted. Seungsoo had never minded how noisy he was. Seungsoo had always smiled at him whenever he looked up at the man he wished were his real brother, maybe even the father he never really had. He had never made Baekhyun feel foreign, _rejected,_ even when Baekhyun looked at him as if he didn’t trust him in the first few weeks they had spent together. He had never once gotten angry even when Baekhyun was being too loud on purpose, too irritating, asking too many questions, saying too many unnecessary things just to see where the limit was. Just to see what would eventually make Seungsoo kick him and Chanyeol out back into the streets he had collected them out of.

 

It had never happened. Chanyeol always used to tell him it wouldn’t happen. _Because he’s our family now and family never leaves you behind._

 

Baekhyun heard someone laughing. He also heard someone sobbing. It echoed in the wide, empty house for a second and that was all it took for him to realized those two different things had gathered into a single sound and that it had gotten out of his own mouth. He took a step forward, and another, and another until he could walk through the hallways of what Chanyeol had once told him to call _home_. He still knew this place like the back of his hand, he still remembered how to reach the kitchen, he still remembered the old lady who always used to ask him how he liked his pancakes in the morning despite already knowing the answer. The floor was dirty, the cupboards were probably empty, but wherever Baekhyun looked, he could see a family made out of different people who managed to accept each other and live together. 

 

The hallways were still long and abundant. Baekhyun still remembered how Chanyeol liked to hide in these hallways to practice for the day Sungsoo would send them to infiltrate a house in order to help. He walked into the living room, biting his lower lip hard but unable to say whether it was to stop a sob from escaping him or to prevent a grin from splitting his face into two. The room was wide but it wasn’t empty, there were still a few pieces of furniture. Seungsoo’s favorite couch was there, in the middle of the room and Baekhyun slowly stepped to it, sliding his hand over the backrest, exactly where Chanyeol’s head used to reach whenever he sat there when he wanted to know how being Seungsoo felt like. It was old, the fabric was almost scratchy now but he didn’t mind, his fingertips collecting dust and memories before he dragged himself out of the room and headed towards the stairs. 

 

Chanyeol had almost fallen off those stairs once and Baekhyun recalled the way he had almost experienced what a heart attack was when he was only thirteen. He remembered how fast his hand had reached out for Chanyeol as soon as the latter’s foot had slid off the edge of the first step because he had been walking backwards while looking at Baekhyun who followed him. He had been too busy to notice they had already reached the stairs, excitedly telling Baekhyun about how he had touched a gun for the first time and how he had impressed Seungsoo by aiming right in the bull’s eye only after two tries. Baekhyun had pulled him away at the last moment and they had stumbled backwards, Chanyeol’s already bigger body crushing him as they fell together but Baekhyun hadn’t even minded the pain that lingered on his back for the whole day because at least, he had saved Chanyeol.

 

Soon, he reached the hallway where he knew both his room and Chanyeol’s room were and as soon as he laid his gaze on the door at the very end of this hallway, he felt his legs wobbling a little, his hand reaching out to the wall so he could support his weight on it. Seungsoo’s office was in this hallway too. Seungsoo always used to spend too much time there, sometimes hours and Kyungsoo used to scold him, asking him just what a mafia leader even had to work on that would make him spend hours locked in an office. Kyungsoo had always known though, he probably just liked scolding his elder brother because he was the only person allowed to talk to him this way without earning an injury in return.

 

Seungsoo used to spend too much time in his office. He had always been there for most of his time. He had been there even when Junmyeon and Minseok had decided that he wasn’t worth being at the head of the one thing he had dedicated his whole life to, until his very last breath. The breath they had taken away from him so mercilessly. 

 

That door was closed. The room had probably been cleaned and it was probably old and dusty just like the rest of this house. Baekhyun should open that door but he couldn’t do it. He was so weak and he felt so pathetic, walking around an empty house and clinging to memories only he remembered now but he couldn’t help it.

 

Because only he was left to remember whatever had happened in this house.

 

He took a deep breath in, closing his eyes and resting his head back against the wall for a few seconds. His eyes were dry when he opened them again and he stepped away from the wall, taking a few steps forward until he reached the window a few steps away from where he was standing. It was dirty and it was difficult to look outside and see properly but Baekhyun still smiled as his gaze fell to the huge garden at the back of the house. It was dead, weeds had won over every flower and beautiful bush Seungsoo had hired a gardener to tend to at that time. 

 

It almost looked like an actual maze now, the trees overgrown and fruitless, the once colorful flowers all absent from their beds, and the joy and peace that had once been dancing around now gone and replaced by emptiness and sorrow. Seungsoo had loved the garden. He used to say he always managed to make the right decisions whenever he took a walk there to think. Baekhyun remembered him telling Chanyeol that a great leader should aways have a hideaway to find peace and tranquility in at the worst of times. He also remembered Chanyeol asking if that hideaway could be a person while holding Baekhyun’s hand. Seungsoo had laughed and nodded, telling Chanyeol to make sure to never lose that hideaway and smiling at Baekhyun while reminding him to never stray too far away from the people he wanted to protect.

 

Baekhyun smiled, wobbly and a little weak, the reflection on the window dirtied, and barely recognizable but somehow still so similar to the reflection of a little boy who used to like looking out of that same window every morning.

 

He remembered it all. He remembered every little thing that happened in this house, down to the smallest details. He remembered it all.

 

 _Only_ he remembered it all and the realization struck him harder than ever.

 

However, as he took a deep breath in, inhaling the dust, the scent of _old,_ and the memories, it didn’t matter that much. For the first time ever, he found himself thinking that it didn’t matter that much.

 

It didn’t matter if he had lost almost every single person whose memories were filling this whole mansion up. It didn’t matter if only Baekhyun was left to remember Seungsoo and what had happened in each room of this mansion and how Junmyeon had always looked at them as if they were bugs he couldn’t wait to crush under the sole of his expensive shoes. It didn’t matter if Chanyeol didn’t remember the promises they had made to each other in this house, the promises that they had made to each other in their old warehouse, or the way they had never ever let go of each other’s hand.

 

It didn’t matter because he had Chanyeol now and Chanyeol was so much more important than a few memories.

 

Standing in a house full of dusty memories and looking out of a cracked and stained window, Baekhyun could finally realize that nothing else mattered now that Chanyeol was by his side. That was what he had always wanted, even when he thought it would be impossible, even when he thought things would never go back to the way they used to be. It didn’t matter because Chanyeol loved him just as much with or without those memories. He was in love with Chanyeol, not with the memories of what now felt like a different lifetime. He loved Chanyeol for who he was now, not for who he used to be before, even if he was a bit different the the little boy Baekhyun had first given his heart to.

 

And maybe now that he had no reason to cling to those memories, he could let go. He could let go of everything but Chanyeol’s hand and start a new life with him, open a wide and blank page waiting to be filled new memories they would both cherish together. It was still a bit painful to know that Chanyeol didn’t remember half of their story but it would be okay.

 

It would be okay as long as Chanyeol never let go of his hand.

 

That single thought was somehow accompanied by a sudden feeling of warmth and Baekhyun let it embrace him, only taking a second to notice that the source of that warmth was two strong arms wrapping around his body and pulling him back against a familiar and firm chest. He was surprised, not having heard any footsteps approaching him, but he wasn’t startled. He simply leaned back against the feeling of safety offered to him, his whole body relaxing as if he were laying on the bed he had missed so much throughout a long and exhausting day full of bruises and headaches.

 

"What’s on your mind?" Chanyeol’s low, gentle voice whispered to him, his lips grazing Baekhyun’s temple before he pressed a gentle kiss there. It was warm. And gentler than anything else.

 

"Is this your revenge for all the times I sneaked up on you and scared you?" he asked playfully even if he knew his voice carried nothing but contentment and peacefulness to Chanyeol’s ears. He leaned back, resting his head against the other’s shoulder while bringing his hands up to rest them on Chanyeol’s arm. They were so secure as they hold onto him, linked over his chest as if he never wanted to let go. Baekhyun knew Chanyeol never wanted to let go.

 

"Maybe but it didn’t seem to work that much," Chanyeol chuckled softly and Baekhyun felt him tilt his head a bit to look at him. He smiled but didn’t look at the other, letting him observe him instead as he kept his gaze out of the window. "How are you?"

 

"Upset because you made me come here on my own and you also had the nerve to be late," he replied, thumb gently drawing circles on the back of Chanyeol’s hand. "But otherwise, I’m great now."

 

"What if I just wanted to see if you got rusty during these past two months?" Chanyeol replied and Baekhyun almost shivered at how low his voice always got whenever he was being playful.

 

"Are you basing your observations on how rusty you usually are even after a full night's rest?" he snorted, unable to contain the amused smile spreading on his lips.

 

"No, I’m basing them on the fact that I would have expected you to hear me and shove a dagger against my neck before I even had the occasion to call your name but look," Chanyeol said, gently swaying him in his arms to add more playfulness to his voice. "I caught my prey."

 

"Maybe you only managed to to do it because I wanted to get caught," Baekhyun retorted, knowing that Chanyeol was right but unwilling to lose their childish argument. It at least helped him take his mind off unnecessary thoughts and the more Chanyeol spoke, the easier it was to focus on nothing else but his comforting presence in a house full of ghosts. "But I’ll bring my dagger on our next cute little date to make sure you don’t get as cocky as you are now."

 

The only answer Chanyeol gave him was soft laughter before Baekhyun felt himself spinning around, Chanyeol’s warm hands sliding down to hold onto his waist once he had turned him around. He caught a glimpse of dark hair, an even darker gaze, and a bright smile before gentle lips took his hostage and he caved in, almost melting as Chanyeol’s lips were so soft and warm against his. Chanyeol always kissed him like he was the most precious jewel he had plucked from the sky’s night gown. He always cradled Baekhyun’s cheek, soft and gentle, he always tasted Baekhyun’s lower lip as if he couldn’t get enough before making his way into Baekhyun’s mouth and exploring it like his favorite place, a place he had the occasion to discover hundreds of time already without ever getting tired of doing it.

 

And Baekhyun always kissed back with passion, always melting away against the man he loved when those flames hidden in Chanyeol’s chest were right against the lights in his heart, the small sparkles there blinking crazily as soon as the dark smoke dancing around the flames were reaching out to him.

 

They parted away after a while but Baekhyun didn’t step back, just like Chanyeol never ceased looking at him while offering him the smile Baekhyun knew was made just for him. He felt warm hands grabbing one of his and he let Chanyeol drag it down, his other arm remaining wrapped around the taller’s neck. Gentle fingers played around his wrist, caressing his skin gently, and Baekhyun leaned up to press a last kiss against Chanyeol’s lower lip.

 

"Why are we here?" he finally asked, voice not louder than a whisper, coaxed out of him gently by the fingertips still caressing his wrist. "Is this where you’re gonna live now? As the head of Cobra?"

 

It seemed like the most appropriate reason why Chanyeol would’ve asked him to come here and somehow, the idea was painful but calming at the same time. Painful because this house was full of memories and ghosts but calming because Baekhyun knew that he didn’t want to actually forget those memories and never see those ghosts again. This was where it had all started and he knew that letting this mansion rot away would be much more painful than painting it with life again. Or maybe he was just weak and didn’t want to completely part from what felt like nothing but another lifetime now.

 

Chanyeol didn’t answer, however, still smiling gently, as if he could read Baekhyun’s thoughts before his gaze dropped lower and he leaned forward again. Baekhyun’s eyes closed and he kissed his most favorite warmth again, embracing the wafts of heavy smoke and inhaling it all, feeling it cradle the lights that were nestled inside of him but that belonged to Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol was gently playing with his lower lip, sinking his teeth into the tender flesh and soothing it with a caress of his tongue when Baekhyun felt something unfamiliar sneaking around his wrist, Chanyeol's fingers finally stilling and tangling with Baekhyun’s the next second. The latter pulled away, eyes fluttering open in confusion before Chanyeol smiled at him and took a small step back. He furrowed his eyebrow a bit but followed the silent demand of Chanyeol’s eyes, letting his gaze drop to their hands but freezing in surprise at the sight that greeted him.

 

Baekhyun’s wrist hadn’t been bare for years until only very recently. The friendship bracelet that he had stolen years ago had always been around his wrist, even when Chanyeol had took its twin off and thrown it at him before leaving Baekhyun in a house that had gone down with the flames that Junmyeon had unleashed on his life.  He had always worn the black and white braids around his wrist as a memory of Chanyeol whom he thought had died in that fire, as the seal of their promise, and as the comfort he had needed in order to survive for so long. He had never taken it off, even when he had found out that Chanyeol remembered nothing about the bracelet Baekhyun had been wearing for years. He had never taken it off until Junmyeon had stolen it from him and Chanyeol had ended up destroying both of their bracelets in a fit of rage induced by Junmyeon’s poisonous words.

 

There had been nothing around his wrist ever since and Baekhyun always felt empty whenever he trailed a finger over the skin, his fingers so used to clinging onto the braids there that they refused to stop seeking for them and always caused him to feel a fresh wave of pain whenever he couldn’t find them. His wrist had been bare for what felt like an awfully long time but now, it wasn’t anymore and Baekhyun’s heart suddenly felt too big and heavy for him as he took in the bracelet that was hanging around his wrist.

 

The first thing Baekhyun noticed was black and white. However, braids weren’t circling his wrist this time. It wasn’t the bracelet a homeless child had stolen for the person he wanted to be his best friend forever. There was a single black string around his wrist and it wasn’t a braid, one of its extremities was tied to a ring that seemed to be made out of white gold and the other to a second ring of equal size but colored in a deep black instead. It wasn’t a braid but the two black and white rings were connected, tied, built into each other, and inseparable. It was black and white around Baekhyun’s wrist. It wasn’t a friendship bracelet stolen from a grocery store, it was probably an expensive bracelet bought with dirty but hard-earned money. It wasn’t their old friendship bracelet and yet, Baekhyun found himself unable to breathe as he looked up at Chanyeol who had been observing him almost nervously this whole time. Their fingers remained tangled all along, their hold on each other as unbreakable as the eternal embrace the black and white rings against Baekhyun’s wrist shared.

 

"It’s a gift, to replace the old one," Chanyeol finally explained, voice low and gentle yet sending quivers through Baekhyun’s chest.

 

"That bracelet was really special," Baekhyun replied, realizing that those quivers in his chest were coming from him and not from Chanyeol. He bit his lower lip, dragging his gaze down to his new bracelet and looking at it instead of focusing on the painful memory of Chanyeol tearing their bracelets and Baekhyun’s heart apart back in his small apartment. "It’s really pretty."

 

Chanyeol smiled at him, the curl of his lips almost painful to Baekhyun’s eyes before he looked down and brought his free hand to pull the sleeve of his jacket up, revealing the twin of Baekhyun’s new bracelet around his own wrist. Baekhyun’s chest quivered again, reflected on the choked up, wobbly chuckle that escaped his lips at the sight. 

 

He couldn’t breathe. The house was dusty and dark, the air heavy and difficult to drag into his lungs. Baekhyun was perfectly aware that it wasn’t why he was suffocating. Maybe he couldn’t breathe because the love for Chanyeol he had been keeping somewhere deep inside of his heart for years was endlessly growing bigger by the second and he couldn’t contain it. Maybe he loved Chanyeol so much he couldn’t breathe when he was away nor when he was right in his arms. Maybe it was just the fact that he was willing to die for the man smiling down at him that kept cutting his breath off, as if constantly challenging him, as if reminding him that he was at risk every single second he spent loving him. As if loving Chanyeol was both suffering an agonizing death and living through the biggest blessing granted to him at the same time.

 

"It’s different from what we had before and I’m really sorry for destroying our first bracelets," Chanyeol said softly and Baekhyun had a hard time tearing his gaze away from the bracelets around their wrists, so close to each other as their hands remained tangled, but when he looked up, Chanyeol looked like a reflection of the quivers in Baekhyun’s chest. Then he smiled, strong, reassuring, and so handsome Baekhyun felt his breath hitching once again. "The black and white braids had been so easy to destroy and tear apart but I can assure you, nothing will ever separate these two rings."

 

Baekhyun chuckled softly but it sounded more like a sob to his own ears, a joyful yet sorrowful melody synched to the fast and painful beat of his heart. And it was ridiculous. It was so stupid because Baekhyun hated crying and being weak but it had always been so easy for Chanyeol to turn his whole world upside down. It had also always been so easy to let himself go in front of Chanyeol because he knew the latter loved every single one of his flaws and his weaknesses as much as Baekhyun loved every single one of his.

 

"Not even the strongest and harshest of blows?" he asked softly, smiling as his eyes burned from the flames and the smoke and the love Chanyeol’s smiling eyes were draping him with. "Promise?"

 

The other shook his head, giving Baekhyun’s hand a gentle squeeze.

 

"Not even the strongest and harshest of blows will ever break them apart. I promise." Baekhyun believed him, somehow. Because Chanyeol always kept his promises, no matter how long it took him. He smiled, his sight a bit blurry now even if he felt as if Chanyeol was clearer than he had ever been to his eyes. "These can be our new friendship bracelets," Chanyeol said, one of his hands now cradling Baekhyun’s cheek as if he knew tears would eventually fall off and he was ready to collect them, whenever that would be. His smile was a bit playful though, but mostly honest and open. "Or maybe something more."

 

"Something more?" Baekhyun repeated and he knew, he _knew_ what Chanyeol was saying, he could feel it in each erratic beat of his heart but he wanted to hear it. As usual, Chanyeol caved in so easily, smiling, leaning closer and looking right into Baekhyun’s eyes, knowing that Baekhyun _knew_ but playing along because they both could be so weak and stupid sometimes.

 

"Something more," Chanyeol repeated, shrugging a bit but never once letting go of Baekhyun’s hand, never once looking away. "Because you’re not just someone I want to be best friends with forever anymore, Baekhyun. You’re the man I love, the man I’ve always loved, and the man I want to love forever. You’re the person I’d kill for, die for, but mostly importantly, you’re the person I live for. You’re the light to my darkness," he said, his thumb gently caressing the white ring and then the black ring against Baekhyun’s wrist as he pronounced those words, voice falling to a whisper by the end of his sentence as if he was sharing a secret with the only person that was worth hearing it.

 

And Chanyeol had been right because as soon as he was done speaking, Baekhyun felt a tear escape his eye but it didn’t go too far, the taller’s thumb collecting it almost instantly, wiping it away gently. Baekhyun’s heart was still quivering but it wasn’t trembling in fear or throwing itself against his ribcage in rage and sadness. Baekhyun just felt so happy and warm and safe and maybe, just maybe everything he had been through, every single thing he had lost along the way had been just for this exact moment.

 

He chuckled softly and this time, it didn’t sound like a sob. It sounded happy and Chanyeol couldn’t help but chuckle along, as if he was just as happy and maybe a bit embarrassed because they didn’t bare their feelings to each other in such a raw way too often. But Baekhyun understood him and he also knew that Chanyeol understood him just as much.

 

"How can you die for me and live for me at the same time?" was the only thing Baekhyun found himself able to say and it seemed to be enough for Chanyeol who simply chuckled and shook his head, narrowing his eyes playfully afterwards.

 

"Shut up, you’re ruining the mood, idiot," he groaned.

 

Baekhyun felt him trail his thumb over the tangled rings on his bracelet and somehow, he could feel that gentle caress on his own skin. Or maybe that was just the softness of Chanyeol’s gaze on him. He was looking at Baekhyun as if he was holding galaxies and hidden treasures in his eyes and it was stupid because the only treasure Baekhyun had ever possessed was the hand he was holding in his.

 

"I just want you to live for me," Baekhyun replied on a  more serious note, still unable to wipe away the stupid smile that he knew was stuck on his face. "Because that’s all I’m going to do. I’m going to live for you and I’ll spend every single second of it loving you more than I’ve ever thought it was possible to love someone."

 

That seemed to be the only thing Chanyeol had needed to hear because he kissed Baekhyun again, stealing his breath away and feeling his lungs with the thick, dark smoke Baekhyun had fallen in love with. He was only able to breathe properly when it was seeping into his whole being and it reminded him of a night years ago, when Chanyeol had told him that he wouldn’t survive at night without light. He had been holding Baekhyun’s hand and looking right into his eyes, as if the only lights he needed were hidden there.

 

"I didn’t have to steal it like you did years ago," Chanyeol said when they parted away, drawing a chuckle out of Baekhyun. "Because we’re grown-ups now and as promised, we’ll be living in a big house with a lot of money and power but most importantly, together," he smiled while gesturing around him and Baekhyun felt his heart finally appeasing, nestled in the blanket of warmth Chanyeol always magically made appear in his chest. "We can live wherever you want, it doesn’t have to be here. We can do whatever we want now and there won’t be anything or anyone to stop us."

 

"I like it here," Baekhyun simply said, his heart squeezing a bit in his chest but not in an unpleasant way. "But are you asking me to move in with you so early into our relationship?" he then asked, playfully narrowing his eyes at the other.

 

"I’ve waited for almost fifteen years now, haven’t I?" Chanyeol snorted and he was right. It had been fifteen years now since the first time they had smiled at each other and it was so odd, the way it felt just like yesterday but also like a whole different lifetime at the same time. "I don’t want to ever lose you again and I don’t want to spend a single second with you out of my sight so please, would you like to move in here with me and stay with me forever?"

 

And it was so similar to the day Baekhyun had stolen their friendship bracelets from the convenience store years ago. Baekhyun had said he wanted Chanyeol to be his best friend forever and Chanyeol had shyly asked him if he really wanted that. It had been a bit similar to the question Chanyeol was asking him now because the latter looked at him with expectant eyes but a tad bit of hesitation, as if he wasn’t entirely sure of what Baekhyun wanted.

 

But Baekhyun had always wanted the same thing. It had never once changed over the years and it would never change.

 

"Yes," he said, smiling brightly at the other and feeling amusement seeping into him when Chanyeol seemed to relax. "You didn’t even leave me the choice anyway, you already put the bracelet on me," he continued teasingly.

 

"I was asking just as a formality," Chanyeol shrugged just as playfully before observing him for a few silent seconds. "I’m not the leader of Cobra, by the way."

 

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun instantly asked, confused. They had been talking about Cobra just earlier with Jongdae.

 

Chanyeol simply shrugged.

 

"It’s not called Cobra anymore, I decided to change its name while you were away. For a new beginning and because that name carried too many bad memories for the both of us."

 

"What did you change it to?" Baekhyun asked, gently caressing Chanyeol’s knuckles with his thumb. It had been a good decision, Chanyeol was right. It would be better for the both of them to start everything anew.

 

"It's called Luminis now," Chanyeol replied and Baekhyun felt his heart thudding in his chest again.

 

"Why?" he whispered.

 

"It means _light_ in Latin," Chanyeol smiled softly and it was obvious that he had given it a lot of thought. "Obviously, because of you… Because I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you, I would have no idea that Cobra belonged to me, and because I just also wanted you to be part of it while you were away," Chanyeol sighed before biting his lower lip. "Also because when Jongin had first given us information about you, he couldn’t really find anything to give us about ‘Light’, just the fact that the word ‘light’ came from ‘luminis' in Latin," he chuckled softly, the sound filled with nostalgia and a bit of sorrow.

 

Baekhyun understood. Chanyeol didn’t want to forget Jongin the same way Baekhyun didn’t want to forget Kyungsoo or even Seungsoo.

 

"It doesn’t sound very threatening," he said, successfully pulling a real chuckle out of Chanyeol.  
  
Jongdae’s words about Chanyeol working for an electricity company now made sense and he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to punch his new friend or congratulate him for that stupid pun.

 

"That’s okay, I’m sure your presence by my side will be enough of a threat to others as it is," Chanyeol shrugged. He was right, Baekhyun would always be by his side through it all. "Anyway, do you want me to give you a tour of our new house?" Chanyeol then asked playfully.

 

Baekhyun felt another pinch in his heart but he kept his words in, refraining himself from telling Chanyeol that he knew every nook and corner of this mansion by heart. He didn’t know. He must not know. Baekhyun hadn’t asked again but he knew Chanyeol telling him that he remembered everything had only been a dream.

 

"Sure," he simply said, smiling because it didn’t matter. This would be a new house. A new life, and Baekhyun would discover it along with Chanyeol.

 

And that was all it took for Chanyeol to grab his hand even more tightly and look around.

 

"Well, since you’re upstairs, I’m assuming you’ve already seen the living room but let’s still take a look at it from over here," he said, grinning with all his teeth and looking more like an excited child than the leader of an influential and powerful crime group.

 

"I did," Baekhyun said, playing along just because that smile was precious to him and he wouldn’t do anything that might erase it. He let Chanyeol pull him towards the stairs and they leaned down just enough to catch a small glimpse of the living room.

 

"It’s a bit big, isn’t it? It looks more fitting for at least four people rather than just two, maybe even more sometimes," Chanyeol said, looking away from him and Baekhyun forced himself to chuckle.

 

"I can be loud enough for it to feel completely full," he shrugged, looking at the armrest of Seungsoo’s seat, the only thing he could properly see from the first floor.

 

"I know you can be," Chanyeol snorted and Baekhyun playfully wiggled his eyebrows at him because Chanyeol made it so easy to focus on something other than the pain.

 

"The kitchen is great too, right?" the other asked, purposely ignoring him. "Maybe we could hire someone to cook for us and clean the house from time to time. Maybe it could be a kind old lady who’d always ask us how we liked our pancakes in the morning just because she cares enough to ask even if the answer is unchanging."

 

Baekhyun felt himself freezing at those words, his gaze snapping from the living room to Chanyeol’s side profile as he seemed to be in deep thought, not looking at Baekhyun. He felt something pinching his chest. Maybe it was an impression, an image given to Chanyeol by a memory he couldn’t remember.

 

"We could, the house’s too big for us to actually clean it properly," he said, voice tight, as tight as the pain snaking around his neck and squeezing.

 

"It’s a good idea," Chanyeol said before finally turning to Baekhyun.

 

He had an odd look in his eyes but Baekhyun paid it no attention. He was the one feeling odd anyway.

 

"Those stairs," Chanyeol then chuckled, observing them. "Remember when I almost fell down from right here but you pulled me away before I could stumble down and I ended up crushing you instead?"

 

Baekhyun felt something in him completely locking up as soon as he heard those words, his eyes widening and his heart suddenly snapping in his chest like lightning before crashing around like a leaf held hostage in the eye of a storm instead. 

 

Chanyeol tugged on his hand, dragging him away from the stairs before he even had the occasion to process those words yet alone say something in exchange. He could feel his legs moving, his body following Chanyeol along but he was barely even aware of anything but how fast his heart was beating. What had Chanyeol just said? He must have heard it wrong. Or maybe he had remembered something. He must’ve remembered a single memory while Baekhyun was away. Maybe it came from another dream, another scene from the past replayed in his mind.

 

Or maybe Baekhyun was once again imagining things and yielding to the strength of his wishful thinking.

 

They now stood in front of the door that hid what had once been his bedroom and Baekhyun felt himself suffocating and breathing in fresh air all at once when Chanyeol pushed the door open and glanced inside.

 

"This was your room," he said before turning to look at Baekhyun, a gentle smile on his lips, gaze almost hazy as if he wasn’t looking at Baekhyun but at a roll of memories unfolding in his own head. "Or well, our room I guess, since I never actually slept in my own room but always in yours. I hated sleeping alone. I couldn’t, actually, I was too used to holding you in my arms like I did every night when we lived in the warehouse," he continued and Baekhyun couldn’t bring himself to say anything, overwhelmed by those words and the realization of what they actually meant.

 

He couldn’t say anything, lips parted open but words forming a lump somewhere in his throat and refusing to come out. He couldn’t think of anything, thoughts all jumbled up together because he couldn’t believe it and he wasn’t sure this was real and his chest felt so narrow and tight for his heart all of a sudden and this couldn’t be real because if it was, his life would be thrown upside down for the third time in this house.

 

"I don’t know why I even bothered keeping my clothes and everything else in my own room because I didn’t spend much time in there, I usually just followed you around wherever you went, right?" Chanyeol chuckled but before Baekhyun could follow along or just do _something_ , he pulled him deeper into that hallway, where the door of Seungsoo’s office stood.

 

"And this was Seungsoo’s office," he sighed, lips curled into a small, saddened smile as he pushed the door open, his other hand still holding onto Baekhyun’s.

 

He felt something in his mind unfolding as that door opened and it was clean, just like he had thought. There was no sign of the murder and the sacrifice that had happened in this room ten years ago. There was nothing. No elder brother or father figure, no gentle laughter, no firm voice scolding them when they did something wrong, and no remnant of who the room had once belonged to. There was nothing but memories and the realization that Baekhyun wasn’t the only one who had those memories, that he wasn’t the only one who remembered anymore came like a cruel slap and a gentle caress all at once.

 

Was that it? Was that what finally grabbing onto your dream instead of hurting your arm while forcing it to stretch out to attempt reaching it felt like? Was that what Baekhyun had always waited for? The soothing feeling of finally fulfilling your only quest, the relief lapping up at your feet and slowly reaching up your body like the gentle waters of a sea Baekhyun had always wanted to bathe himself in. Was that it?

 

It was. It really was. It felt like a billion memories exploding in his head and somehow, when he looked at Chanyeol again, it wasn’t the strong, powerful assassin that he was seeing. As he looked at him, the only person Baekhyun could see was the clumsy, tall, and lonely child who had so much love to give that Baekhyun would never have to fear a drought. And for the first time ever, when Chanyeol turned to meet his gaze, Baekhyun knew for sure that what he was seeing was a small, scared child who had always only wanted someone to care enough for him to never ever dread the cruel wind of the perpetual winter he seemed to be stuck in.

 

And suddenly, Baekhyun couldn’t contain it anymore.

 

"You remember," he mumbled softly, Chanyeol’s smile widening the slightest bit at those words. Those words were real. Those words were the only words Baekhyun had ever wanted to hear from Chanyeol and when the latter parted his lips, Baekhyun’s biggest wish was granted.

 

"I remember," Chanyeol said and it felt like the air seeping into his lungs was even clearer now. It felt like a secret he wanted to scream to the whole world. It felt like the key to a lifetime of happiness and warmth. "I remember. I remember everything. I remember everything about you," Chanyeol repeated and maybe he had finally pulled Baekhyun out of the deep and dirty waters of an ocean he had never wanted to die in because suddenly, Baekhyun could breathe and all that was left to him from that ocean of sadness was a few lingering drops trailing down his cheeks.

 

"You remember," he said and when his voice sounded muffled to his own ears, he realized that he had thrown himself into Chanyeol’s embrace without any hesitation, without even noticing. Just like you could let yourself get lost in your thoughts at the end of the day but your legs would always take you back to your home because they knew how to get there without you needing to guide them.

 

Maybe it wasn’t him who had found his way back home but Chanyeol.

 

"You remember," he repeated, sobbed against Chanyeol’s chest and he wasn’t sure whether the ground was shaking under his feet or if it was Chanyeol’s shoulders quivering. The other’s hold around him was tight and Baekhyun could feel happiness and relief coursing through his veins, spreading through him and glowing brighter than anything else he had ever seen. "I thought– When I woke up I thought–" he tried saying but the emotion puffing his chest up was too much for him to speak properly for a few seconds until he felt Chanyeol’s fingers gently caressing his nape and soothing him. "I thought it was a dream."

 

"It wasn’t," he heard Chanyeol say, his voice muffled against Baekhyun’s hair where he had nuzzled his face. Baekhyun pulled away, looking up at him, surprised, confused, but most of all, happier than he had ever been, like a child who had waited all year round for Christmas to make his only wish real. "I remember since that night but… But I just didn’t know how to tell you and this seemed like the best way."

 

"How?" Baekhyun asked, voice wobbling and swaying with happiness, broken notes that somehow felt righter than anything else. Chanyeol’s smile was so wide, his eyes so bright and glistening as he looked at Baekhyun but he was stronger than he used to be and there were no tears, not when he was too busy wiping Baekhyun’s tears away. The latter hated it. He hated how weak he was being but he allowed himself to be because he was the happiest man on earth and nothing would ever take that away from him anymore.

 

"I guess it was when I saw you there, almost dying. I guess the trauma was the same as when I thought you had died in that fire and maybe that pushed me to remember," Chanyeol explained and he was talking so fast, as happy as Baekhyun was. "Maybe what triggered it was the fear of losing you and seeing your own dagger piercing through your body. The dagger that I gifted you. I still have it, it’s in my apartment and I–"

 

The rest of Chanyeol’s sentence was lost between their lips when Baekhyun couldn’t contain his emotions and leaned up to kiss him again, knowing that words wouldn’t be enough to convey how happy and alive he felt after that revelation. It wasn’t different than all their kisses but somehow, Baekhyun felt as if it was. There was just as much passion as usual, just as much love, just as much need, but there was something more in the seal of their lips. 

 

Memories. 

 

There were memories of a whole lifetime, memories of years spent growing up together and learning each other from the start. Memories of a love that had been born in the dirty backstreets of a merciless city. Memories of two hearts beating erratically but in synch under the roof of an old warehouse. Memories of two brave boys growing up to be two strong and fearless men who lived for no one else but each other.

 

It was odd, kissing Chanyeol with all those memories and knowing that the same memories were probably playing behind the other’s closed eyelids. It was nice, feeling his soul tangling up even more with Chanyeol’s, just like the black and white rings on their matching bracelets, unbreakable and sealed together until the end of time. 

 

No one would ever be able to rip them apart from apart from each other anymore. Baekhyun would make sure of that. He knew that Chanyeol would also make sure of that, just like they had promised.

 

"I will never forget you again," Chanyeol whispered against Baekhyun’s lips, sealing their new promise with a gentle kiss that poured warmth and delight into Baekhyun’s soul, lighting it up and soothing it at the same time. "Just like I will never cease loving you."

 

He heard the small clear sound of the rings on their bracelets coming in contact, like the call of a bell, like the click of once broken pieces finally coming back together.

 

"I will never allow anyone to come between us again," Baekhyun replied, putting his whole soul into those words and his whole heart into his next words. "And I will never cease loving you either, even after my heart won’t be able to beat anymore."

 

He sealed their new promises with another kiss, one that burned him down to ashes and breathed life back into him at the same time. A kiss that made his heart brighten up enough to blind anyone who’d ever get too close, anyone who didn’t have dark shadows in the pit of their own heart to tame his light, anyone who wasn’t Chanyeol.

 

And those were the promises that would never be broken, just like the strong link between them would never be broken by anything or anyone. Those were the words that they pronounced to each other before leaving everything behind, the pain, the sorrow, the guilt, and the mistakes. They would leave everything behind, keeping nothing but their memories and starting anew, building a new life that they would share without either of them allowing anything to come in-between them, no matter how difficult it might get sometimes. 

 

Because just like night and day, just like the sun and the moon, just like opposite shades of black and white, just like streaks of light and swirls of darkness, they were meant to remain together until the end of time. They were made for no one else but each other, to balance each other out, to complete each other, and to make sure that the other would never cease existing. 

 

Baekhyun knew that would never change, no matter how many years they would spend holding each other’s hand without ever letting go.

 

It would never change. As long as his heart would beat and even once he’d be nothing but ashes and dust, a memory in the head of whoever would remember him after he’d leave this world, and a mere soul eternally tangled with its twin, Baekhyun would always be the light to Chanyeol’s darkness. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what Chanbaek's new bracelets look like: http://www.en.cartier.com/content/dam/rcq/car/58/48/43/584843.png
> 
> And this has been the Epilogue, the last part of this long story that has now reached an end that I hope you are satisfied with. It's a bit weird to tell myself that this story has ended now, after a whole year of working on it, and it's also a bit painful but it is what it is! 
> 
> I sincerely hope you liked it and I apologize for any mistake or plot holes left, feel free to comment on it to let me know if there's anything confusing and I'll try explaining.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's read, commented, left kudos, and recommended this fic on various places. Thank you to everyone who managed to reach the very last word of it after around 370k words, I'm proud of you! I hope you liked this story as a whole and if you want me to claim you as my friend, feel free to follow or talk to me on twitter (@Bbaegi_), tumblr (@byunbaegi), or curiouscat (Bbaegi). 
> 
> Once again, thank you to everyone who's been with me through this long, sometimes tiring, but always enjoyable and amazing journey that was writing HMD. Just like Chanbaek, I hope you will all find something to fight for, something to live for, and a light to cling onto even in the darkest of nights. If you find that light, never let anyone switch it off and take it away from you hehe
> 
> Thank you <3


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